The Twenty
by Leyna Rountree
Summary: COMPLETE! Hermione and an unlikely Pansy form an elite group of witches, and possess one unusual commonality. Facing their most carnal desires, they will harness a power not seen in an age, to save themselves and protect Hogwarts. Can it stay a secret?
1. Prayer for Intercession

Disclaimer: Never was mine. Still not mine. All Harry Potter belongs to Rowling.

Now let me start out by saying that I do not intend to preach through fiction. Hermione Granger is a practicing Catholic in this fic and I have woven it into the story. I am not Catholic myself, but am Christian (by denomination) and would _not _appreciate flames regarding my use of this content. The majority of this is in the first chapter.

As it is, I hope that those of you who notice any particular errors on my part regarding Catholic rituals or prayers will bring them to my attention. I will not be weaving and religious rituals and prayers together.

Eventually this fiction will have adult content, hence the R rating. Reviews are appreciated.

**The Twenty**

**Chapter One: Prayer for Intercession**

Sister Mary Josephine Barrone was a light soul, a bright light which radiated joy to those around her. Her insightful ways, sharp mind, and creative musical genius was well known though the Catholic Church and indeed throughout the musical community. The devout nun prepared tirelessly for the upcoming concert. Music was often her method of worship and she used it to call people to action, to renew their spirit as the parishioners faced challenges and temptation everyday. Sister Mary was following her calling.

Hermione Granger was a promising student of hers who had always sung in the church choir, enjoying the musical lessons from Sister Mary since she was a child. Her voice was clear and her range wide.

The child had said she felt the butterflies in her stomach— this would be her first church performance in front of a crowd so large. She had been requested specifically for this elite choir.

Recently Hermione had been away at school, resulting in missed practices until two weeks ago. This opportunity was a welcome distraction from the recent sad death of Sirius Black. She pushed down the ache in her heart with each passing chord. Praying after practices, she had turned to God to ask for guidance, protection for her friends, and for peace.

Upon returning from school, Sister Mary had requested her to sing a duet with a gifted student. The accomplished conductor had told Hermione that this pupil wasn't a member of the church, but had hopes that the music would minister to her privately.

_'Perhaps you could be friends,'_ she had added. _'We are God's disciples you know.'_

To her surprise, she was referring to Pansy Parkinson.

Sister Mary had been correct about Pansy— she was a gifted singer. Her melodic voice stunned Hermione with her rich deep vibrato.

Being from houses at different poles of the political spectrum so to speak, they had never been friends in school. She and Pansy had been on friendly terms these last days, but didn't dally around after practices to socialize.

They saw each other almost daily in practices as they caught up with the skill and rehearsed expertise of their fellow peers. Hermione could see the emotion in Pansy's eyes as they practiced the _Requiem._ It was a moving piece, and difficult to sing well.

Hermione was shocked beyond measure that a pureblooded witch would set foot inside a church whose history was responsible for the persecution of witches. But music was a compelling master and Pansy had perfect pitch. They needed her.

It was not uncommon for Sister Mary to obtain help in the choir from outside the church. They frequently paid section leaders who were often students of music at a nearby college. She wondered how long Pansy had been a private student of hers.

Therefore it came that on a day in late May—they stood facing the enormous congregation of St. Peter's Catholic Church where over 700 people had gathered to hear the summer concert of sacred music.

Pansy was a second alto and Hermione a first soprano among fifty women who stood atop the front steps of the beautiful and historic cathedral.

All dressed in long white flowing robes, their hair pulled back in similar fashion— most all women resembled one another in their respectful reverent pose. The dress code was strict and they wore little or no jewelry to distract from the performance. The beautiful skylight that the cathedral window offered gave the women an almost spiritual glow, possibly the intended effect of its design.

They now sang the angelic and powerful piece, moving many in the audience to tears. Fortunately the excited crowd opted for a reverent attitude of worship. Many in past performances felt compelled to clap after each piece and for a concert such as this it was inappropriate and a disruption of worship. Each piece was carefully sung as Sister Mary Josephine conducted the large choir.

About halfway through the piece, their moment had come. Hermione and Pansy stepped forward assuming their places in front of the crowd. The setting sun was bright and Hermione was grateful for the glare which helped her to avoid the distracting eyes of the audience.

She was careful not to make eye contact and instead focused on Sister Mary or on a spot at the back of the cathedral. Once the first few notes escaped her lips she knew she'd be fine. They sang in perfect unison and then their voices divided harmoniously carrying along the halls and columns of the church. The acoustics amplified and carried their sweet melodies throughout the congregation.

As the last note was sung it hung as if suspended by a thread— Sister Mary's hand held high in the air with her cutoff signal. The choir remained motionless, perfectly focused on their conductor. Hermione only released her breath when Sister Mary relaxed and turned to face the audience. Only then was there a thunderous applause.

The crowd was in awe, once again of the superior performance of one of the finest choirs in England. People traveled to hear these performances. Sister Barrone had quite a following and was well known for her original works in circles regarding sacred music.

Now Hermione could breathe again, she glanced quickly to Pansy with a comforting smile: _'We did it! Good job!'_ Murmurs of approvals and subtle pats on the back from her neighbors bolstered her ego a bit as she finally relaxed to look at the audience.

Then she saw them.

Pansy's parents were seated beside none other than Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, and Severus Snape. Her parents were thankfully seated in the upper balcony.

_God! What are they doing here! And what was Lucius Malfoy doing out of Azkaban prison!_

As the applause died down, Hermione tried to fade into the backdrop. _Too late Hermione, you sang a duet in front of 700 people and your name is in the program! _As they filed out down the back steps into the choir room to change, Hermione quickly tore off her robes and ran up the side steps.

Pansy grabbed her arm, "Hey, before you run off, you did a great job up there. I think that was the best we ever sounded don't you?" She had a big smile on her face and Hermione felt badly that all she could think about was fleeing after one of the most powerful experiences of her spiritual walk.

"You sang beautifully Pansy. It was wonderful wasn't it?" She tried to put on a happy face, but a grimace showed through.

"It's so beautiful to sing here. Hey, what's wrong?"

The look of fear was a little too plain on her face as she asked Pansy why the Malfoy's would attend.

Pansy was startled at the change in conversation, "My parents are close friends of the Malfoy's, Granger." Her tone became harsh. "I imagine they came to support me. They aren't Catholic but it's a free country."

"I'm sorry Pansy. I'm just… I'm cautious where Lucius Malfoy is concerned, that's all." There was an awkward silence. "I enjoyed singing with you Pansy. Maybe we can do this again sometime— I mean, if Sister Mary asks you to join us again. She really speaks so highly of you."

"Thanks. See you." Pansy's face was long and her last comment was terse at best. Hermione realized she may have dashed her chances at improving her fragile relationship with Pansy.

Hermione tried to take some deep breaths as she ascended the steps up to the rear chapel. Parents, spouses, and friends were walking toward the front to greet the members of the choir while the remaining audience bottlenecked near the cathedral foyer to greet the priest and Sister Mary as they left.

_This is a church filled with Muggles, they wouldn't try anything,_ she tried to convince herself. Yet she couldn't get past the fact there were three Death Eaters and their wives seated there in the audience. She would really prefer to gather her parents and leave out the side door, but they were lost in the crowd. She decided she would not let it affect her and walked silently toward the rear benches where she could pray in discreet solitude.

This was her routine. After each practice, after each service she would kneel here and say the rosary and pray for her individual friends, family, for the Ministry, for the Pope and leaders of the church. And she prayed, as she had since the end of her fourth year, for Severus Snape. The sarcastic potions master had lived a double life as both her teacher and Death Eater. He put his life on the line time and time again for the Order, a courageous and selfless trait which Hermione could only admire. He lived such a dark and thankless life, she made sure to pray for him by name everyday. He needed her prayers and thanks.

Hermione believed in magic. But she also believed in the power of prayer.

Severus Snape carefully toured the cathedral. His boots clicked on the stone floor as he looked up at each stained glass panel and stone relief. There were brass mountings below describing each scene, both saints and depictions of Jesus' life as a teacher. Professor Snape was not a churchgoing man, but a man always in study and fascinated by all types of history. He considered nothing beneath him to learn. The cathedral was deep and he walked to the back admiring the architecture. He turned to explore further when he caught sight of the individual who had so startled him before, Hermione Granger.

The insufferable Gryffindor had blossomed into a fine young woman and was showing great promise in her studies. She was one who went beyond her assigned work, and not to show off as he had reprimanded her publicly for in class, but for the sake of learning. He knew she spent countless hours in the library. She had frequently been caught after hours there and he suspected she borrowed Potter's invisibility cloak to aid in this pursuit. Although he wouldn't admit it, she was showing incredible promise in potions suggesting original solutions of her own not found in books. Her theories and ideas were a result of absorbing concepts from multiple texts and authors. He knew he'd have to find a way to secretly tutor her. He could not publicly challenge a Gryffindor in front of the Slytherin crowd. The elite potions world needed new blood like her. Many potions masters were becoming elderly and Granger possessed a rare talent.

He could hardly believe it as he saw her step forward. Before the duet, he hadn't noticed. He didn't look at the program— he was there to listen to the music of which he was particularly fond, despite his non-belief. Her voice was that of a clear high soprano. She sang beautifully, the rich tones echoed in his head.

There she was, quietly kneeling, obedient before God. He watched her light candles in succession, muttering prayers. He wondered to himself what the candles signified. He suspected they represented people she prayed for, but he couldn't be certain. He saw her pull a rosary from her pockets and pull the beads through her fingertips. Her words were nearly silent.

She began to say her Hail Marys, but changed her mind with the events which preoccupied her.

"Remember O most Gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help or sought out your intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to you, O Virgin of Virgins, my Mother. To you I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but your mercy hear and answer me. Amen."

She clutched her rosary and returned it to her pocket, then gripped the kneeler and raised herself to her feet. He turned to leave, still a bit moved to witness the passionate muttering of a prayer. It appeared a desperate plea to him, and he wondered what she had prayed for.

When she walked to the main area, Hermione noticed the retreating figure of Severus Snape. _How long he had been there?_ He was far from the crowd and Lucius Malfoy was no where in sight. She felt a sigh of relief and her eyes searched the balcony above and below for her parents. She desperately wanted to avoid meeting the Malfoy's. _That would be a disaster._ _Could she duck out?_ Her cell phone was in her purse— maybe her mum would've remembered to turn hers back on.

Just when she thought she spotted her parents, she turned and found herself face to face with Lucius Malfoy.

"Miss Granger, what a _delightful_ surprise." His flowery, snobbish, insincere drawl was a bit much for Hermione. He was a dangerous man.

"Mr. Malfoy, imagine my surprise seeing you attend such a function. I hope you enjoyed it," she managed as politely as she could. The last time she had seen him was in the Department of Mysteries.

Pansy and the Parkinson's approached behind and Hermione could see Severus Snape approaching quickly from her back right_. Oh no, not my parents…no, no, no… _There they were hurrying and proud coming to greet their daughter.

"Hermione, these are my parents Patricia and Patrick Parkinson."

"How do you do?" She shook their hands politely while noticing her parents continued approach from the corner of her vision.

"You have a lovely voice, Miss Granger. Pansy was just telling me you are a classmate of hers." Patricia Parkinson at least appeared to be genuine while her husband held a steely gaze in her direction.

Wendy Granger was an excellent judge of character. One could cut the tension with a knife and Hermione hoped her mother noted the dynamics of this situation.

"Thank you Mrs. Parkinson. We are in the same year."

"Hermione! There you are, that was wonderful!" Her mother gave her a half hug as she regarded the gathering before them.

Hermione tried to look as natural as possible, but she felt completely surrounded. _Breathe, Hermione._ _Breathe. _

Introductions went all around as her parents shook the hands of wizard and witches Hermione knew to be terribly dangerous.

"Miss Parkinson, you have an incredible instrument in your voice. Congratulations on a wonderful performance," Wendy Granger said. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips, the praise from Hermione's parents might have exceeded her own.

"Mum, Pansy is a classmate of mine from school."

"Really? How great that you got to see each other over the summer." Her father added.

Hermione winced inwardly. Living among the magical community, she was sure Pansy got to see many of her wizarding friends during the summer. She would prefer her parents not go on in this direction.

"And did you say you were Professor Snape? You teach potions, do you not?"

_Oh God, Mum no! _She could vaguely hear the conversation as she continued her plea for help._ Gracious Virgin Mary hear my prayer..._

At that moment Sister Mary Josephine, a woman who radiated love and peace about her approached the gathering. She cleared her throat and they parted for her.

"Hello. My name is Sister Mary Josephine Barrone. I am so glad you could all join us for today's performance. You should all be so proud of Pansy and Hermione. They gave an awe inspiring performance today. I have been so blessed to work with them both," she said acknowledging both sets of parents.

Both sets of parents agreed and the tension dissipated. Severus found himself impressed with Sister Mary's gifts. She reminded him of Professor Dumbledore gentle but firm way.

Hermione's mother gave an extra tight squeeze of Hermione's hand. Lucius appeared a bit uncomfortable. Sister Mary smiled knowingly and addressed the group. "We are closing the church in about 10 minutes, but I must invite you all to Mass on Sunday. We have services at nine, eleven, and five thirty. Peace be with you."

"Good to meet you all," her parents closed. The Grangers turned to follow Sister Mary out of the hall, with Hermione close behind. She sighed a relief of thanks to God and both Marys as they left for home.

In the large chair at her parents' home, she sat down for the inevitable conversation to come. She wished to spend the summer at 12 Grimmauld Place. They had an excellent library and her Newts were next year (_Never too soon to study!_), however she had to admit to herself that the real reason had more to do with her fears regarding the upcoming battle, the history of which she had never fully disclosed to her parents.

With the time turner her third year, she was nearing her 18th birthday. Though she didn't feel the extra year and a half would have any real bearing on her parents honoring her right to choose. Over previous summers she studied as much as possible, and now was taking up additional activities to brighten up her summer.

She had gone to Flourish and Blotts and Madame Malkin's Robes for all Occasions to offer her services as a summer job she could pursue easily through owl post. She left a sample of her various scripts and a listing of fees which were negotiable. So far she'd only penned invitations for one wedding, a mere 40 invitations. The praise from the client had been high however, and she hoped it would bring her more business. She wanted to earn her own money, especially in the wizarding world. She wasn't permitted to practice magic, but the headquarters would be as close as she could get.

It had been only two weeks since the end of the school year, since she Harry, Ron, Neville, Luna, and Ginny had fled to the Department of Ministries to rescue Sirius. It had failed and they painfully felt more than ever that Harry needed friendship and family to see him through it. It always seemed to take him a few weeks to settle into the year. Life at the Dursley's offered no emotional support. And Hermione felt he was still too isolated in spite of mail and the post. Occasional phone calls were a poor way to make up for the lack of contact.

She had owled a plea to Dumbledore, explaining her understanding that living at the Dursley's offered him some magical protection, but that the Order could protect him quite well at the Headquarters. The Black's old family home was left to Harry in his will anyway and he would likely live there after graduation. "_How long does he have to stay at the Dursley's per year and still call it home?" _she had written.

Her mum walked in the door, an attractive woman who resembled Hermione very much. Her hair was shorter and soft brown curls framed a youthful face that defied her years. Her father, older than Wendy Granger by 15 years, followed closely behind, dropping his briefcase gently by the door.

"Hello sweet girl! How have you been today?" Her father always called her sweet girl or girlie-girl. That term of endearment had remained throughout her childhood and hoped it forever would be.

She smiled weakly, trying to muster up the courage to speak. "Okay. Just reading."

"Always reading, you should think about getting out of the house more dear," Wendy added.

"How was work?" _Way to stall by making small talk._ Hermione looked around her house as she imagined she may not see it again soon. She felt paralyzed as she wanted to find a way to tell them about her wanting to relocate them. _Would they agree? _The Daily Prophet reported attacks on Muggles and Muggleborns daily. The war was escalating, and she felt the Ministry wasn't nearly taking an offensive enough approach.

It was clear that she had not paid attention to her parents' responses to her question as her mother knelt in front of her worried daughter and asked, "What is troubling you dear? You haven't heard a word we said."

The young witch looked at her mother with hollow eyes, the red eyes which had cried a million tears for Sirius and her friends as she dreaded the upcoming year. She needed to do something.

"Mum, Dad? Please sit. We need to talk."

The parents looked at one another and then to their daughter who had always been a serious soul, but still they had not seen her in such a state since the death of her grandfather.

"I need you both to hear me out. No interruptions. This is a long story and I've debated telling you the whole of it for a while. Muggles aren't supposed to know of the magical world so I've mentioned very little."

True she had talked about school and fascinating magical items and charms, but nothing of significant import. They knew of Harry and Ron, and they had even met Ron's parents. Politics and history were not discussed.

"Alright, Hermione. You know that you've always been free to speak with us," her father said somberly.

"We're listening dear," her mother added. The way Hermione had been crying left Mrs. Granger with the impression that there was a schoolboy crush or something. Now she wished that was all it was, but by the sound of things…

"There is a war going on in the magical world currently. There is a wizard who believes himself to be above all others and despises the non-magical community. He leads a group of people called Death Eaters. These other wizards, these Death Eaters, I can only define by saying they are organized terrorists. He attempted to kill my best friend shortly after his birth 16 years ago and failed. There have been other attempts as well. A year ago he has returned to power to finish the job."

Her parents' faces were ghostly pale as they heard with some measure of disbelief the words coming from her lips. Her parents tended toward support of non-violence and kept up with world politics, in favor of diplomacy over fighting. This was simply something they could scarcely comprehend, especially coming from their daughter.

"It's a long story, but my friend Harry Potter—you have met him," they nodded. "He was the one You-Know-Who tried to kill using an Unforgivable curse which rebounded on him and weakened him. Harry is incredibly famous in the wizarding world for surviving this curse and it is believed that he will be the one to defeat this monster. Being his closest friend, I am quite in the middle of this."

"Well get out of the middle!" Her mother gasped, tears in her eyes as her mind raced with the horrible possibilities.

Hermione held a hand up begging them to let her finish. "I can't. I'm here whether I like it or not and the magical community needs us to fight this. I'm a target not just because I'm friends with Harry but also because I'm a witch born of non-magical parents and therefore a threat to pureblood wizards who value heritage over magical skill. My grades at school and performance have already earned some dangerous glances from pureblooded wizards I know to be terrorists." _Like the ones you met today for example…_ She didn't dare bring that up.

"Can't they be arrested?" Her father interjected.

_Merlin, I could go one for hours… how can I go into Azkaban prison and the dementors and on and on? _She rolled her eyes, and tried to continue. "No they can't. If they even get placed in our wizarding prison, they can escape. It's complicated. In short we are in danger. All of us. I would much prefer for you both to relocate and hide somewhere where no one, not even I know how to find you."

"What about the practice, our patients?"

"Didn't you mention you were thinking over early retirement anyway? And your partner could handle the summer cases. I don't know how long this will go on, but it's necessary. There are spells which Headmaster Dumbledore can place on your new residence to make it undetectable to wizards. It will be exceedingly difficult for people to find you."

"What do you mean find us? You're coming with us! Aren't you?" Her mother's voice was panicky now.

Hermione's eyes welled with tears seeing her parents in pain. Seeing the terror on their faces made it brutally aware how much danger they were indeed facing, something Hermione had only been able to minimize when she resided inside Hogwarts walls. Indeed she had been unable to sleep, feeling naked and unprotected at home.

"Mum, I know this is hard. There is so much more to tell you. Quite a bit happened two weeks ago. Harry's godfather was killed. He had a secret home where I intend to stay. It will be safe, utterly secret and well guarded. I will likely be unable to leave there during my entire summer. I'll be able to send you messages secretly, I've found a way. Professor Dumbledore has agreed to meet us here in two hours to relocate us, if you agree."

Her mum cried out and flew to Hermione's side pulling her into a protective hug. "Oh my God, oh my God." She shook her head back and forth in disbelief. Her father sat unmoving.

"There are no other solutions? I can stay here with her and defend the house…" He thought about purchasing weapons.

"Dad." Hermione reached out to him. "Wizards have ways of avoiding the complications of everyday difficulties. They could apparate in this house right now and execute us on sight." Her voice was quiet and low as her mother wept. The truth was better than a lie and her parents needed to know. "Wands can be used to kill or torture. There are curses called Unforgivables which can be used in horrible ways. I cannot allow us to stay here with that uncertainty. I'm so sorry…" Hermione cried openly and her father embraced her. "This is all my fault. If I wasn't a witch…"

"But you are Hermione and we are proud of you. We are so afraid for you, but we are proud. This isn't your fault. I know God gave you these gifts for a reason. I don't want you to go, but if Professor Dumbledore tells us he will protect you then you may go." Her parents hugged her long, and she rose to help them pack.

Several hours later Dumbledore appeared in the Floo and when the smoke cleared he faced the end of Hermione's wand.

"Miss Granger, it is only I." Dumbledore said peacefully. "Good of you to be cautious though. I am disconnecting your Floo from the network after we depart. Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Granger. Good to see you again, though I'd prefer it be under different circumstances."

Hermione's parents had only met Dumbledore once before during Muggle parent orientation before her first year. Despite their limited interaction, anyone who had met the Headmaster could tell he was a man of honor. A twinkle in his eye gave off a sincere kindness about the man, but his height and voice rang with power, one that Wendy had pointed out to her husband right away. Hermione had spoken highly of him on many occasions, extremely proud that she had the opportunity to attend one of the finest wizarding institutions in the world.

"I wish we could take more belongings, but I wasn't sure…" Her mother choked a bit. "We just packed our clothes.

"That's fine Dr. Granger, that's fine. If you show me which pieces of furniture or items you'd like to bring, I'll gladly pack them for you." He looked her in the eye and she wondered about the kitchen.

Pointing his wand at the kitchen he said clearly, "Pack!" And with a _crack_, all of the dishes, pots, cleaning supplies and appliances zoomed neatly into boxes he had drawn from thin air. Mr. and Mrs. Granger's eyes were wide with the sight of this. The only magical things they had been exposed to was the Floo, the owls, the pictures on the front of the Daily Prophet and their trip to Diagon Alley.

"Next?" Dumbledore inquired with a smile and Wendy took him to the other rooms.

Several minutes later he had packed and shrunk most of their belongings, leaving most furniture behind giving the appearance of a household still in use. With a swish and flick all items shrank into a small suitcase.

"Where are you taking us?" Mr. Granger asked.

"Someplace quite safe I assure you. Effectively, you will be on holiday. I apologize but you will have few people to speak with for the time being. This is for your safety of course. Hermione, owls to me will reach them. Once I get them settled, I will notify you. Professor Snape will escort you to the Headquarters. Are your bags packed? He should be here momentarily."

"Of c-course Professor." She stammered and blushed a bit, she didn't know Professor Snape would come. _Why not Tonks or Lupin?_ Not that she minded. She had been spending a good deal of time thinking on Professor Snape of late, recovering from what she tried to convince herself was a school girl crush.

She gave her parents a big hug and kiss. She sighed as they disapparated, and while she missed them she was immediately feeling better knowing they would be safe. Then she ran upstairs to change her clothes and look more presentable for travel.

She threw on a v-neck shirt with tailored detailing along the neckline and hips. It flared over low–rise jeans and she wore sling back heels to finish it off. She had given up tennis shoes for mule backs most days and found them more comfortable. She ran to her desk and packed up her calligraphy set, quills, ink, nubs, and glass writing utensil her mother had purchased for her. She put all of the items on her bed and heard a pop downstairs. Her heart leapt in her chest and she immediately had her wand out. Backing against the wall, she opened her door and called out, "Who's there?"

She heard footsteps coming up the stairs and called out again, "I asked who's there!" Her voice was shaky. Professor Snape was supposed to be coming but there were no guarantees. She turned off the light in her room and stood in the shadow. There was a knock on her bedroom door, and an entrance.

The saw the telltale black swirl of a cloak and a famous turn. _That smell.__ Cedar and sandalwood… _"Professor Snape." She came out of the shadows. "Why didn't you identify yourself?"

"Miss Granger, didn't Professor Dumbledore notify you of my arrival? Who else would it be?"

Her answer was a cold fearful stare as he realized his poor choice of words.

"I am ready. These are my belongings. Can you shrink them for me?"

_Right, no magic.__ It was a shame students weren't permitted to perform simple household spells, but then again there were students like the Weasley twins and Neville Longbottom who could always manage to make innocent things dangerous,_ he mused. A flick of his wand and all items shrunk to miniature which Hermione placed in her purse.

"We'll disapparate from here. Is there anything else you require?" He asked in his customary silky tones.

"No sir."

He held out a hand and pulled her close to his side before disapparating. With a loud crack, they landed in the dark park across from Grimmauld Place. The trees hid them well. Looking around first, they carefully approached the dimly lit brownstone. Her eyes adjusted to the light and she followed closely behind Snape who stood between two doors. No sooner had she thought about the address then out popped the door.

"Ladies first."

With such a venomous drawl which narrowly walked the line between disdain and sexy, Hermione could hardly dub his comment as gentlemanly.

When they entered Remus Lupin and Molly Weasley greeted her warmly with a maternal hug.

"Remus! So good to see you! Hi, Mrs. Weasley. Are Ron and Ginny here?"

"Not yet dear, but they will be for supper. I know you're staying here for summer, but I don't want you to get too bored without much company."

Clearly Harry wasn't joining her yet. No matter, the library still provided a lot of entertainment. "Thank you professor for escorting me."

"You're welcome, Miss Granger." It was her idea to come here, and while he'd initially frowned on it, lately he was spending a lot of time here for the Order, and after seeing the display at St. Peter's he knew it was for the best.

Molly accompanied Hermione upstairs to her room where she returned her considerable belongings to normal size.

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley. What time is dinner? I think I'll settle in here first."

"Very well, we eat in 30 minutes."

"Do you need some help?" Hermione volunteered.

"No, no, dear. I've got it all set. Don't you worry." Molly said with a wink and a comforting smile.

As the plump colorful figure of Molly Weasley shut the bedroom door behind her, tears sprang from Hermione's eyes. All Hermione had in the world sat on the strange bed that was not her own. She couldn't see her parents, but yet she felt safe for the first time in two weeks. She cried at the conflicting emotions and let it out.

**Author's Notes:**

Please review! More soon. I'll try to put up chapters quickly.


	2. The Work of My Fingers

Disclaimer: As always Harry Potter is the sole property (dang it) of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter 2: The Work of My Fingers 

Her head hit the pillow and mercifully did not wake until mid-morning, obtaining some of the most restful sleep that she'd had since term's end.

She had missed Ron and Ginny, but appreciated the solitude.

As she descended the rickety stairs, she attempted to make no noise so as to avoid a certain portrait of an unnamed person who might shriek out foul obscenities at the Muggleborn witch. Such a profane discourse was inescapable at some point, but could only serve to remind her of the current predicament in which she found herself.

She strode into the kitchen in comfortable, pale blue, striped pajamas where Mrs. Weasley greeted her.

"Good morning, dear. Sleep well?"

"Yes, ma'am." Hermione was chipper, she just found herself longing for a cup of caffeine that had taken a hold of her of late. "Do you have coffee?"

"Yes, dear. Right here, you take cream and sugar?"

"Yes, thank you." Hermione stretched and was grateful for the warm mug held in front of her.

"You were so tired last night I thought it best not to disturb you."

"Thank you, I needed the sleep. Did Professor Dumbledore send any…"

"Yes, of course dear. Your parents are well and safe." A brief pause, as Molly sat across from her. "I am so glad you are here. Professor Snape told me of your recent run in with Lucius Malfoy. He is most relieved that your family decided to relocate."

_He was?_ _Professor, I didn't know you cared._ "Mrs. Weasley, why isn't Malfoy in Azkaban? I was so surprised to see him." _That was an understatement._ Her heart nearly leapt in her chest at the mere mention of him.

"Oh Hermione, that Malfoy! He is as slippery as they come. Surely that devil has bribed some Ministry officials to delay the trial. He managed some swift and private appeals, which has prolonged his prosecution. Kept it all out of the papers, he did. He likely owns part of them, except the Quibbler perhaps. At this rate I doubt he'll see the inside of prison anytime soon." Molly Weasley possessed an angry tone which left a flavor in the air that promised that were Lucius Malfoy to walk through the door at present, Molly would surely curse him into the next century.

"I apologize for leaving you early, as I have some urgent business to attend. I'll return this evening. I hope you won't be too lonely for company."

"Actually I'm sure I'll spend a good deal of time in the library. We spent so much time cleaning before, that I didn't get to thoroughly enjoy it," Hermione offered truthfully. Yet, though tomes were amongst some of her closest friends, she wondered if she could spend an entire summer without human contact.

"Oh and before I forget, Professor Dumbledore brought one more item from your home for your enjoyment. Come see." With a wave of her hand, the copper-haired woman motherly shooed her into the den.

"It's a bit larger than it was originally I'd wager. But you know how Albus does things."

Before Hermione's saucer eyes stood her piano, engorged to the size of a Baby Grand, but unmistakably the same. "Oh!" She hugged Mrs. Weasley. "This is wonderful!" The huge smile was obvious on Hermione's face as she beamed. "When you see Dumbledore next can you tell him I said thank you? Or, do you have an owl?" 

They were very careful about sending owls from the Headquarters. Any number of letters could be and had been intercepted. Most letters were quite cryptic as occasion called for it.

"Certainly dear. You'll have to play for us sometime. There is an order meeting on Friday and dinner afterward. Perhaps you'll consider giving a performance?" The look in Mrs. Weasley's eyes was pleading with a pleasant twinkle. 

Truly any music would be a happy distraction from the recent melancholy air of things. The headquarters so obviously belonged to Sirius Black's family. He himself had detested it, being holed up here as a necessity for months on end. The Black household was a testament to hatred of Muggles everywhere and he loathed it. When, or if Harry came she wondered if this place would cause him more suffering than comfort could afford amongst friends.

She opened the bench to retrieve the well-worn pages of music she had almost memorized. She wondered if she could perhaps send off for additional music by mail.

  
***

Professor Severus Snape stood proudly before his creation. Papers and ink and potions ingredients still littered his desk and the dungeon floor. He had not been filled with so much pride in his life until this accomplishment. He had published, yes. But they were small articles, excellent research nonetheless, published in Ars Alchema, and the Journal of Advanced Potion Sciences.

He had written a book. It outlined his own theories and speculation of potential solutions to age-old problems he had finally conceded he alone could not solve without the aid and conjecture of the larger scientific community. He hoped that this book would offer significant opportunities for discourse on a multitude of stale topics, long abandoned for too many numerous failures. His passionate prologue had spoken of much. Snape expected that this volume might reinvigorate and motivate additional exploration of these subjects resulting in new scientific advances.

He paced as his often did, and decided he would not submit it as it was. He was too aware of his own spidery scrawl, and potion making did not lend itself well to illegible writing. Many of the words ran together in his flurry of scribbling rendering some words questionable. Most volumes now were typeset, but even they were laden with errors. Snape was old-fashioned, he decided a more traditional approach would better honor this tome.

He left immediately for Diagon Alley.

Stalking down the street as he usually did, his robes flung behind him as he entered Potente Herbs and Potables. It was on the outskirts of Diagon Alley, bordering on the less reputable Knockturn Alley. It easily served both clientele with rare potions ingredients as well as spirits, and absinthe.

"Rodolfo? Are you back here?" Snape called out.

"Severus, so could to see you. What can I do for you today? A bottle of Ogden's perhaps? I have a fine scotch as well, just came in. You didn't send ahead a list." They shook hands politely. Rodolfo Thomas had long been the proprietor of the establishment which frequently Professor Snape more often than not. 

"I am in need of services. I wondered who does your labeling for your bottles, I've always admired the penmanship."

"Oh, I am sorry to say, he has long since retired. However, I know that Katie Renou at Flourish and Blotts has a fine listing of calligraphers for hire. You should call upon her."

"Very well then. Thank you."

As he took his leave, Snape felt a suspiciousness tug as the back of his mind. He told no one of the manuscript and he concerned himself with the much-needed discretion of it. He strode toward the back of the book filled shop to inquire of Ms. Renou's whereabouts.

A lovely middle-aged woman came forward to greet him, her hair twisted and secured on the back of her head in formal fashion. White lace ruffles extended down her forearms, something reminiscent of old 18th century garb. "How may I help you Mister…"

"Professor Snape. I came to see Ms. Renou."

"You have found her!" She said a bit too friendly as Snape leaned back slightly a bit repulsed by her forwardness.

"I understand that you have a listing of calligraphers for hire," he asked softly. His low voice begged discretion.

Immediately she assumed a lower tone with a more professional expression and leaned in, "Follow me, Professor Snape."

His eyes narrowed, not quite sure was to expect. Out of habit he was always defensive, his wand inches from his fingertips. _Nothing is what it seems…_ his familiar motto.

The well-dressed librarian issued him through a door which she shut behind them. She immediately locked and warded it. Immediately she adopted a formal businesslike tone as she addressed the scholar. "Professor Snape., have you ever hired a calligrapher before?"

"No, I can't say that I have…" Snape began cautiously.

"Then I will explain to you that it is an unfortunately overlooked skilled profession, of which there are so few accomplished artisans left. Mostly people hire them for wedding invitations or parties or single letters, but I take it by your tone you have other business at hand." She rummaged for a key, which she turned in a lock and removed a large box, the wards could be felt at the edges of the air. With a touch of her fingertips the lock popped open and she removed a black bound volume.

"This is a sample of the work of 12 artists who have provided alphabetic samples. Some possess such skill that they will, for a fee, provide you a script unique to your particular task that would be used on no other manuscript. If you do not like it however, the fee is not refundable and they will gladly pen it in another fashion." She handed him the portfolio as he carefully opened it.

He carefully noted the work of the artists as she continued to speak. The first page was entirely too flowery, words inundated with long tendrils which would make his book impossible to read without straining one's eyes.

"There are no names here," he commented.

"Yes. You will order by number. Only I possess the whereabouts of the calligraphers who remain anonymous for reasons of secrecy. Otherwise weddings and parties would be announced in the Prophet long before the invitations were received or information could be wrangled forcibly from the artisans. They prefer the safety this confidentiality provides. You also will remain unidentified to the artisan."

"And yourself? How is price negotiated?"

"I myself will not know what is being transcribed. And as for fees, they are outlined in lists I can provide for you, or in special circumstances can be negotiated between you both through me."

He smiled briefly. Impressed, this would do fine. He wondered though how he could trust the calligrapher. He would much prefer to know where his writings would be kept. _For an indefinite period of time._ He had told no one of them. "That sounds fine," he muttered absently as he continued tom peruse the pages of text.

She noted his brow furrow, "Here," she pointed, "is a list of the influences of the artist as well as methods and inks used to pen their work."

The names of the artisans who influenced the scripts had no meaning for him, but he kept noticing the magic involved. He frowned. "Do you have any traditional calligraphers?"

"Ah, yes. Most of these have long since approved of magic to aid in their work, however…" she turned pages for him, "while I'm sure many would pen them entirely by hand… ah, here. These two do work completely free of magic. Pure traditionalists. Both do beautiful work as you can see."

His eyes examined the exquisite penmanship of both artists and had a clear favorite. He pointed, "I prefer this script. Do you have a list of his fees?"

_He…_ She smiled to herself, "yes, I have one…" she rummaged again through papers remaining in the box. "Here."

The prices were astonishingly reasonable and Ms. Renou noticed his quirked eyebrow. "Yes, 'tis not a stiff price. Though the price may differ if you require anything special, and also depending on the amount of time requires to complete the task. Are you interested in making a bid?"

"Yes. What should I do?"

"Here is a parchment where you can make a listing of your requirements and preferences. You should include style, information about length, and especially how many liberties the calligrapher may take in penning your assignment. Keep in mind, calligraphy is a labor of love, and it is most beautiful when the artist is permitted to introduce their individual signature gifts. Notice this book." She pulled a beautiful large red leather bound tome from the shelf. As she opened it, he was amazed by the gold and green leafwork which surrounded the opening letter. Animals danced about the text on the initial page, even though the writing was not obscured by the drawings. It was a book of nursery rhymes.

He thought carefully, and began to write. She stopped him, "Professor Snape, I will sit here." She pointed to a chair facing the corner of the wall. "Take as long as you wish. This parchment will disguise your handwriting affording you greater anonymity, as this will be delivered by owlpost. Be sure not to sign your name or initials. I will make the arrangements through this office. In addition some persons have wished duplicate original copies of longer works, so if you desire that, you should say so now."

"Thank you, Ms. Renou." He was lost in his own thought as he contemplated his wishes.

When she gathered his letter an tapped it sealed without glancing she noticed his cautious expression. "Do not worry yourself," she reassured him. "This person has unmatched integrity." He smiled weakly, not sure he believed that of anyone.

As the Legilimens looked into her eyes he could see it was the truth and accepted it at that.

***

Hermione sat in front of the remains of her sandwich at the kitchen table, eating an apple with her left hand, holding a book open with her right. _Magical Confinement and Traps Avoided_ was a most interesting Defense Against the Dark Arts book Remus Lupin had mentioned to her. She intended on reading it cover to cover and had been practicing wand movements most of the morning with a harmless pencil.

Remus laughed at her as he entered the room with a chuckle. "Hermione, you know you _can _break for lunch."

"No, I can't actually… Remus this is great!"

"Well you need to save something for next year, " he hinted.

"What do you mean? Oh. Oh! You mean your coming back?" She asked eagerly.

"Yup, as of today I am the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, well, slightly used."

"Professor Lupin, that's great!" She exclaimed trying his restored title on for size. "You were the best DADA teacher we had. I was being to get worried after Umbridge you know." He smiled. Indeed he should have been flattered if all the other teachers hadn't been atrocious or deadly. Moody would've been great too, if he'd actually gotten the opportunity to teach. Dolores Umbridge was abominable. 

Harry's outraged vocalizations to Dumbledore had been heard, so anxious about arming the students with useful information as war loomed overhead. That's why the DA had been started and it was still in full force. Hermione knew he was spending his summer continuing to outline future lessons for more advanced defense, as well as making notes of the strengths and weaknesses of individual students. They would all learn by helping each other.

They both heard a pecking which earned a surprised but concerned look from Lupin. The tall scraggly man strode to the front door where upon opening the bird flew in, quite unusual for Headquarters. His wand out he extended it toward the bird, which flew straight to Hermione.

"Remus no! It's alright."

"You know this owl?" he asked skeptically.

"Yes, it's okay. " She eagerly removed the scroll from it's leg and pocketed it. She offered the remaining piece of bread to the owl and motioned for it to stay. Excuse me would you?"

Remus Lupin looked at her puzzled. Clearly she would need to be notified of protocol concerning mail.

Hermione bounded up the steps to her room and retrieved her wand. Scrawling her signature with the tip of her wand the parchment unraveled, revealing two letters. _Yay! An assignment! And was it a big one. _

She noticed the length of the... _book! Wow, what an honor._ She had expected more wedding announcements as was common for this type of work. It was long and she wondered how much she should charge. Her eyes scanned the requests made by the author. He (she?) had implored her to use complete discretion as this was to be published. 

She scoffed. _Of course she would. It is the code. Or my neck._ She had read only too well about the history of the fates that had befallen artists of the past. Many were tortured for their knowledge. Only when Hermione was assured of absolute secrecy, was she was willing to offer her services through Ms. Renou. 

That was the other letter in her hand.

_I have discussed with you before that you have charged too little for your beautiful work. The last customer admired your penmanship very much but changed his mind once he saw your fee schedule. I believe he took it to mean that the low fee was a reflection of the quality of your work._

_Take my recommendation and raise your fee. Submit me a new schedule and I am sure you will earn new clients. Though I know not of your new assignment, I assume it is of sufficient importance that the new client seemed eager and nervous of it. The person was surprised to see your fee, but I mentioned to the individual it would vary based on the work involved. Please adjust your price accordingly._

_Kind regards, K. Renou_

Hermione took out her quills and ink and best parchment and began to pen her careful reply. She reread the author's requests, addressing each individually. She drafted out how long she estimated it would take her to complete the task well. She suspected based on the number of pages, perhaps four weeks?

_'Dear Sir or Madam,' _she wrote in beautiful long script. The tail of the 'D' in dear and Madam extended straight and long ending in a tasteful flourish. The request had been for legibility above all else, so she made the words straight and tall. 

He or she appeared uncertain as to how the text could be embellished so she decided to submit a few short samples of different styles. She carefully removed a few of her books from her trunk _Most Potente Potions_ and selected a passage from a Shakespearian sonnet. 

She penned each passage differently, some plain without any special adornments, others began with tasteful art. She was careful to not touch the wet ink and smear it, lest she have to begin again. 

She chose at the last moment to submit something a be more artistic, perhaps a suggestion for an ornate cover of the book. She took Shakespeare's thirty-third sonnet and began drawing guides for a page to place beneath the parchment, delineating guides for her placement of ink. Carefully she began to write, in a circular pattern, __

_Full many a glorious morning I have seen Flatter the mountain-tops with sovereign eye, Kissing with golden face the meadows green, gliding pale streams with heavenly alchemy…_

The words swirled around and around, tinier and tinier still,_ Ugh. _She had to start over. Not only had she smeared the ink, she had stopped too early. She crumpled it up and cleaned the heel of her hand so she wouldn't ruin yet another parchment. She began again, moved by the gentle phrases to added tiny leaves here and there. As she ended the sonnet, _"…yet him for this my love no whit disdaineth, Suns of the world may stain when heaven's sun staineth."_ She added a bright sun in the center surrounding the circle with pale faint images, daylilies and clouds, she had penned in pale grey ink on the backside of white vellum overlay. The result was a beautiful muting of colors. The sonnet could be clearly viewed through the sheer vellum. 

When she affixed it to the parchment containing the circular sonnet, she was so proud of her work she scarcely wished to send it. Because she could not practice magic, or share with anyone what she was doing she regretted she could not make a copy for herself. 

She included slips of various colors and weights of paper so they might choose. She listed all prices as an addition to her fee. At one and a half galleons a page the price came to 750 galleons, 800 if the author wished a design for the cover of the manuscript. She sighed. That was a lot of money, though she'd wager for a contract of this nature Ms. Renou would argue it would be still too little.

Hermione was a bit afraid she had bit off more than she could chew, but was confident that she would rise to the challenge. After all, what else did she have to do? She wrapped it flat in a box and wrapped it with self-sealing magical paper. She quickly wrote a quick note to Ms. Renou thanking her for the advice and submitting her fee, to which she would add 5% for the store. She wrapped it again with plain brown paper and brought the package downstairs to the waiting owl. It had been four hours since she'd journeyed upstairs and the owl was fortunately still calmly seated in the kitchen. The tawny creature seemed accustomed to waiting.

She opened the front door before Remus could re-enter the room and question her communiqué. The owl flew out of sight with the package and Hermione turned to innocently face him.

He met her gaze with a stern expression. She was about to be lectured.

She hardly expected a scolding over the summer, but her profound apologies echoed in her head as she listened to the chastising comments of a gruff Remus Lupin for nearly 30 minutes before an aggravated Molly Weasley gratefully intervened.

"Remus, that is quite enough." A red-faced Hermione had sunk low in her chair. His lecture had long surpassed the point of constructive and she assumed it had more to do with the loss of his dear friend Sirius Black than it did her earlier lack of judgment. "Honestly, look at her! I've been standing here for 5 minutes already, and that's long enough do see you have completely overdone it. Hermione would no more betray the Order's secrets than Dumbledore himself." Regretful tears shone in her brown orbs as Remus registered his mistake.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," the calmer man sighed. 

"Remus, if Hermione needs to send an owl, that should be suitable so long as they are not often. The point is we don't want numerous owls flitting in and out dear. An owl a week should not be a dangerous tipoff." Her face smiled apologetically to the curly-haired mess in front of her and at the same time Molly shot a reassuring look to Remus. "Remus, we'll be fine."

It was going to be a long summer.

***

After making a stop in Diagon Alley, the owl continued on to Hogwarts and swooped into the Great Hall during dinner. The handsome owl dropped next to Snape and flew out of the room beckoning him to follow. Snape knew this meant he'd had a reply and he hadn't expected one so early, he had only petitioned the request this morning. He excused himself abruptly leaving a puzzled Minerva and Albus in his wake along with somewhat curious glances of other professors. They resumed their eating and discussion, long since familiarized with the brusque manners of their sardonic Potions master.

He adjourned to the privacy of his dungeons and the owl dutifully followed. With a hoot, the owl dropped the package carefully in front of the professor, whose eager hands swiftly unwrapped the brown paper. He read the enclosed letter, which offered a fee he would gladly pay… depending of course on what he found inside. He found he could not tear the magical paper and reached for his wand to mutter a slicing spell. Finally the paper yielded and magically vanished. It wouldn't have done so for someone who wasn't the intended recipient. Ingenious invention.

He opened the box carefully and admired the beautiful script that stared back at him. _Yes, this would do well._ He read slowly and with awe as he paid attention as much to the gentle strokes of ink as much as to the printed word. _Four weeks is all? _Lifting the letter he appreciated the various scripts and the thoughtful concise suggestions made by the writer. 

It referred to another document and when he looked into the shallow black box he carefully lifted the sample of a concept he had rarely seen before. He touched the edges with his fingertips, turning it around and around so her could examine it. A smile crossed his lips, curling with pleasure as he appreciated the beauty of it. 

The penmanship and art was exquisite, the phrasing obvious despite the run-on lines uninterrupted except for the occasional space or comma. He enjoyed poetry and literature of every kind, and despite the artwork on the vellum, which was handsome in its own right for this piece, it would not do for a potions text. He penned an agreement to the cover emblem and offered suggestions for the text which could be used to create it. He allowed the artist more liberty than he thought he would have originally, seeing as how the artist had so tastefully compiled this response penned exactly to his liking.

He packed up a copy of his manuscript, and charmed it so that only the intended recipient could open it. He bound it tightly with paper and twine (adding a sack of galleons for the deposit) and reluctantly sent it off with the trustworthy messenger bound again for the calligrapher.

***

Hermione sat at dinner chatting amiably with Ron and Ginny, but quickly they found themselves exhausting topics to catch up on. Only two weeks had passed and they returned back to the painful reality of Sirius' death. They focused on Harry, who had been so clearly stricken and angry at a private funeral, held near the Forbidden Forest only three weeks ago. 

Harry loved him. He had confided in him. Their brief relationship had offered Harry a family, a real family as Black loved Harry as his own son. Harry had reminded Sirius of Harry's father James, but he knew in his heart he was his own man. Sirius had now disappeared behind the mysterious veil, and Hermione feared how much time Harry might devote to recovering him from such a fearsome place. He had died in such an unusual way. But dead was dead. There was no bringing him back.

Once dinner was finished, Ginny whispered for Hermione to meet her upstairs.

"Oh, I understand," Ron rolled his eyes. "Girl talk. Fine! Exclude me. See if I care," he said playfully and wandered over to Remus.

They snuck up the steps to Hermione's room and sat on the bed.

Ginny let it out. She cried openly and Hermione hugged her.

"I'm sorry," she sniffed. "I'm just so worried about Harry. You remember how tragically misunderstood and angry he felt after last year?" 

Hermione nodded. She remembered all to well his ranting and cursing at she and Ron for keeping him in the dark. Ginny had confronted him superbly on that, sick of his self-pity.

She pulled a well used handkerchief from her robes and blew her nose loudly into it. "I don't know what I can do…" she sobbed. "I feel so helpless."

"We'll have to let Harry tell us how he wants us to help him. I already asked Dumbledore to let him come here for the summer. I thought it would be best, if the memories of this place aren't too much." Hermione gently offered.

The red-haired girl sniffed a bit as she tried to put on a more colleted face. "I… love.. him… Hermione." She sobbed again loudly and Hermione hugged her tightly as she had wondered what had brought this on.

She thought Ginny was surely over Harry as she had dated several other boys last year, and Harry seemed utterly oblivious to Ginny's affection for him until it was called out on the train last year. After Cho, he seemed a bit disinterested in romantic prospects. It was a bit too complicated for him. Certainly with Sirius gone, he may never want to attach himself again as Hermione watched him lose everyone he had loved.

At this thought Hermione released the tears that had been streaming down her face since early May. "Oh, Ginny…" she whispered.

"Do you think he could ever… do you think he'll ever notice me?" She looked up at her hopefully.

"You need to give him some time Ginny. I think it's a wonderful advantage already to be good friends with him now. He trusts you."

She nodded and tried to dry her tear-stained face before she burst into heaving sobs again. They held each other long before, Ron came in.

"Hermione? Oh no, not again…" That comment earned him death glares from the pair as Ron realized his sister was inheriting his mother's patented look.

Ron sat down beside them and embraced them both in what he thought would be a very gentlemanly, protective gesture. But when he made contact with them he too became filled with sadness he had locked deep inside himself for weeks. 

"He'll be okay, I know it," he choked not really believing the statement. As if he said it out loud, it would become truth. 

Eventually the siblings had to get up to leave, and descended the stairs to rejoin their mother. She and Remus were obviously engaged in the same conversation, her loving eyes red rimmed as she pulled her children close to her side in a fierce hug.

At night, Hermione knelt by her bed with her rosary. She completed five decades of Hail Marys and the other prayers. The thanked the Virgin Mary for protecting her family and for her close friends. She asked the Lord to watch over her friends and keep them safe. She prayed for the late Padfoot and spent special time in silence as she fervently prayed for Harry's peace and healing. Again she asked for the safe return of Severus Snape and peace for him as well.

***

Disguised by thick trees, a lone owl on a high branch sat patiently outside the flat of Grimmauld Place. It's magical eyes saw quite beyond the brick, instinctively knowing the location of the addressee. He would wait for the right time.

The sun set and rose, and in the morning the curvy red-haired woman arrived at the flat. The bird silently stretched it's wings and flew in behind her stopping in a dark corner where he could not be seen.

Molly walked into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. She ordinarily would've left the girl to her own devices but after last night, she suspected she needed some companionship.

The owl flew up the stairs to the door where the artisan slept and pecked lightly at the door.

Hermione vaguely heard something, and stumbled to the door to see what it could be. Upon opening the creaky bedroom door the familiar owl dropped the package on her bed and left without a treat. It landed above the front door and quietly hid in the shadows, anticipating the red-haired woman's departure.

Hermione's eyes popped open as she comprehended the delivery. She swiftly locked her door, and raced to the bed to open the box from her first _serious_ client.

She took a deep breath and her jaw dropped as processed the letter and the enclosed volume of carefully written notes pertaining to potions. She could barely contain her shock as she clapped her hands over her mouth suppressing her urge to squeal. She stared for at least 5 minutes before she dared touch the research of the owner of such familiar scrawl. _That handwriting…_ The drippy spidery text she had admired for a while, a font which she thought to be quite gothic in a fashion. _Oh my God. There are reasons why I'm not supposed to know the identity of the author. What were the odds? Severus Snape, Potions Master. This was his livelihood._

_'Please find enclosed the following manuscript entitled Revitalizing Potions for the Modern Age… ' _he had written.__

_Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! _She had suspected he had been working on something. During detention and during classtime she had spied him furiously scribbling. This was it.

"Hermione, up and Adam!"

"DAMN MUDBLOODS ALWAYS IN THIS HOUSE! GET OUT! GET OUT YOU VERMIN! VILE FOULNESS…" the inevitable screeching began and Hermione could faintly hear Molly swearing to herself as she attempted to struggle to cover the portrait which was forever and hopelessly stuck to the wall.

She realized she had no time to examine the text further. She hid it in the depths of her trunk covering it with blankets and other knick-knacks. She wished she could ward it but performing magic would earn her a one-way ticket to court and expulsion.

Severus Snape was not an easy man to please, but it explained the meticulous requests of his previous letter. If anything it made sense of his oft-repeated demand to have legible handwriting. Some potions ingredients had familiar sounding names and a slip or error of any kind could be disastrous. Hermione raced through her breakfast at record speed and took a cup of coffee back to her room.

"Want to get back to you book then? Very well, you know Hermione you shouldn't push yourself so hard. The Newts are far away," but Mrs. Weasley knew better. Hermione's study habits were legendary. As she exited the headquarters the owl escaped behind and flew over the roof and out of sight. Molly spun on her heel. She could've sworn she felt something. Seeing nothing, she shrugged and left.

**Author's notes:**

Here is the second chapter! Sorry it's taking a while to get to the exciting stuff… more soon. I only posted yesterday, so many thanks to the following reviewers:

Ezmerelda: As always thanks for a serious review. I tried to reload the first chapter after correction but it didn't take. I will take your advice and rewrite portions of the first chapter. Thank you very much for your constructive feedback.

lyress: Thank you! I hope that the interesting relationship between Pansy and Hermione will prove to be interesting. Hopefully Pansy will return after a few chapters.

CJ: Thank you! I apologize, who was Salman Rushdie? Glad you like.

ArwenSolo: Thanks! I just finished reading The DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons, so it's been on my brain.

Azulkan2: Yeah, I've read stories where she and her parents become estranged, but truthfully I believe she was meant to be portrayed as the fortunate one. Glad you like it. She is the consummate Gryffindor—loyal to the last.


	3. Grin and Bear It

Disclaimer: All belongs to J.K. Rowling. Duh. Don't rub it in. Chapter Three: Grin and Bear It: The Most Ancient Hag of Black 

Hermione ran up the steps as fast as she could. The stairs gave way to all kinds of noises as they groaned under her heavy footfalls.

"STUPID MUDBLOOD FILTH! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU VERMIN…FOUL CREATURE!!!!" Hermione cursed as she wrestled with the tattered grey curtains.

Eventually the cursing subsided and clenched her jaw as she stifled the urge to curse back at her.

She opened the bedroom door, closing and locking it, even though she knew herself to be alone in the house. She walked to her trunk and pulled out the large black box that contained the manuscript of her potions professor. Her hands were sweating and she had to go wash them before she handled the pages. Hermione was all too aware the effect oils had on documents, and even though these weren't old yet, they would be someday, and decided to honor them accordingly. 

Drying her hands, she walked back to her desk and pulled out the long letter with the instructions for his work.

_Wow, he liked the sonnet piece._ _So he wanted a potion penned the same way for the cover… _And he wanted two copies, he had requested, understanding it would take longer than four weeks, but wanting to see the first as soon as it was ready. _Wow, that meant serious money._ He had agreed to her price and she remove the light pouch from the box which held the deposit. She opened it and dumped the contents on her bed.

Her eyes widened in surprise as hundreds of gold galleons littered the coverlet in half an instant. The pouch had been charmed to hold a large amount despite it's size and weight. 

She looked back at the letter and then at the pile of gold. …_Half of your payment has been included, for a total of 1300 galleons..._

_Holy crap._ She had hardly expected such a fee. But then the first copy was 800 and the second was 500. _Amazing._ It would take a lot of time. She felt the pressure loom, as she knew she was not only being paid for her time, but also for her talent. She had better be good.

She took the pouch to the bed and refilled it. It took nearly fifteen minutes get all of the coins back in the leather pouch and wondered to herself when she'd get to make a trip to Gringotts. She wasn't one to leave a fortune lying around. She pulled the string and hid it in the recesses of her trunk.

She washed her hands again and immersed herself in the text. It was loosely bound between hard brown leather, the pages neatly stacked. She ran her fingers over the cover, something she did often to books she loved. She enjoyed the feel of old tomes and was terribly careful when turning pages. 

On the first page, she found his prologue and read in earnest his passionate plea to the scientific wizarding community to rededicate themselves to the valid work of examining again and challenging what scholars claim to already know. She was moved by his dissertation, his poetic phrasing apparent throughout the letter. 

There was a section on epistemology and one on potions ingredients that were becoming scarce or endangered, with his suggestions on alternatives to be explored. It was innovative and refreshing to see he thought about the environment and practicality of such things. He wrote as if he was speaking to her and she could hear his silky tones clearly in her mind. _Why didn't he sound like this in class?_

He spent so much time berating the students, wouldn't they be thrilled if they knew his enthusiasm for the subject matter?_ Probably not._

She was hired to write not to read, and she pulled out her parchment box. She picked up the slip of off-white linen paper he had selected and laid it on top of the lid. Opening the box, several sheets appeared for her to take. She slipped out two and laid them in the upper corner of her desk. 

He had specified the blackest ink, probably because he wanted it to always be readable even with passage of time. Lighter or greyer colors didn't tend to hold their pigment well.

Taking a lined guide and placing it beneath the first page, the artist began experimenting with the script and text until it suited her. The first page was important, and she jotted down notes and ideas of what the cover page should look like. 

It took several hours, but she finally penned the script she would used a variation of the one she had used in her letter to him with the samples. It was an improvement. She stood and let out a stretch.

She felt icky, and turned on the shower to wash up before she went downstairs. She turned it as hot as she could make it and let the pulsing stream of water hit her shoulders that ached from poor posture. She needed to work on that. Once she was sufficiently relaxed she adjusted the temperature— time had made it too hot to tolerate.

She lathered her curly brown mass of hair, thankful she had bottled some concentrated Sleekeasy's to add to her regular shampoo. She hadn't had to deal with a wiry mess in some time.

Drying off, she admired her figure in the mirror as she decided what she'd wear. _Who cares? It's just you anyway._ Her belly was a little rounded, but she wasn't particularly athletic. Her hips were rounded and her bum a bit large for her taste but she looked nice in a dress. She opted for her comfy jeans and a old cotton t-shirt. She blotted her hair with a towel as much as she could and quietly descended the stairs toward food.

_Veggie sandwich… cheese… avocado… sprouts... _Her stomach growled as her foot hit the first step. She nearly jumped a foot in the air and grabbed the rail to prevent a rapid fall a stuntman would be proud of as the portrait bellowed.

"FUCKING NOISY MUDBLOOD! AH HAHAHAHAHA!" It cackled.

"SON OF A BITCH! SHUT–UP YOU HAG!" Hermione screamed back, ignoring her continued ranting. _For heavens sakes…_

She went to the kitchens attempting to slam the swinging kitchen door unsatisfyingly as it swung back and swatted her hard in the ass. 

"Damn it."

***

Days passed and they all looked the same as she spent the majority of her time penning the beautiful piece of work. She was amazed by his observations and theories, not nearly as boring and droll as most of the texts she read. Of course this was a modern work, and it was easier to read by far. He put quotes at the beginning of each chapter, citing famous wizards, witches and potions masters, as well as making several literary references. She was able to make those quotes particularly elegant, yet still legible, as she began each chapter. He was very well read, but she knew that. _Or did she? _

They never talked. He'd never consider talking with her about such things, she was sure. He didn't know she existed expect to annoy him. She sighed and felt pretty foolish about her silly fantasies about a man she could never know. She doubted he'd ever let anyone get close enough, but it was all speculation based on what limited interaction she had with him.

To her surprise he had attended dinner last night, along with Remus and Molly, Minerva and Dumbledore. Mr. Weasley was a bit late but made it. He had seemed almost normal as he smiled at jokes and seemed almost civil. _Was this him, the real him on off hours?_

She tried not to stare at him too much as he sat there. His face was so much more handsome when he smiled, she thought and resisted the urge to sigh. It wasn't feeling like a schoolgirl crush anymore and felt the itch to write.

Molly had asked her to play, and she obliged a bit embarrassed—but Dumbledore was there and she wanted to properly thank him for the gift she hadn't played much since her arrival.

They smiled as she played a classical work, which she had known how to play for years. She hadn't made too many mistakes, but wished she had anticipated this especially since Snape was here. Hermione Granger wasn't perfect, but she'd like to be, or at least give it her best effort.

"Bravo, bravo, Miss Granger. Tell me do you know any Muggle tunes?"

"You mean more recent?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, non-classical pieces… whatever strikes you." Albus smiled with a twinkle. She could've sworn he was jolly St. Nicolas in another life. 

She looked up at Snape and Lupin and decided on one she enjoyed a great deal, they had possibly heard of it. It was from their time, maybe their childhood. She loved Billy Joel and _Cold Spring Harbor_ was one of her favorites.

She began to play the rapid flurry of joyful notes as she selected the least melancholy tune on the album. She hummed to herself, 

_'Once upon a time in the land of misty satin dreams, _

_there stood a house and a man who painted nature scenes, _

_he painted trees, and field and animals and streams _

_and he stayed and he didn't hear the falling of the rain…'_

Remus gave a toothy grin as she saw he recognized the song. She smiled back. Snape also appeared a bit surprised.

_You're too young to know that,_ Snape thought.

"That's from before you were born, Hermione!" Remus exclaimed over the piano.

"Thanks a lot! I love this song."

"What are the words?" Albus asked.

Hermione tried to remember where she was in the fast paced tune as she conversed. 

"Will it always be the same as we recall, does it touch you when the rain begins to fall… aw but I don't wanna know and I don't wanna see…" she sang softly.

"… another rainy day without you lying next to me…" Remus chimed in.

Before long everyone was smiling, Remus sang admirably despite out of key notes and Hermione mouthed the words to remind him as she played on. Out of the corner of her eye, she could have sworn she saw Severus' lips mutter words familiar to him, though he wouldn't admit it.

She continued on to Why Judy Why, a more somber melody, but they enjoyed it as Remus continued to hum, 

'_Of all the people in the world that I know,_

_ you're the best place to go when I cry when I cry… _

_A man my age is very young so I'm told, _

_why do I feel so old, tell me why Judy why… hmmmm… '_

She saw a smirk from Snape at this stanza, which hadn't even been sung aloud. She smiled inwardly as she realized she truly did not know what experiences Snape had that lent the opportunity for a pureblood to become so familiar with Muggle music. When she ended, she launched into a more upbeat song, Everybody Loves You Now. They were all laughing after it ended and she was grateful for the reprieve from sad discussion.

"Perhaps you'll sing for us sometime Hermione," Albus inquired.

"Oh no, I couldn't." She was feeling unusually shy in present company, and that was a bit strange as she was very comfortable in her own voice. She had hung before at a local club, but those were strangers. This was a bit too intimate. _You're sure this doesn't have something to do with a certain person…_ she taunted herself.

Sensing her distress, Snape found an opportunity to cut in. He was all about discomfort and throwing people off-balance. "Nonsense. Miss Granger has an exceptional singing voice, Headmaster." He fixed her with a gaze which she completely misinterpreted as positive.

"Thank you, Professor Snape." He had not even commented at the performance.

"Where did you hear her before, Severus?" Minerva asked.

"She sang a duet with Pansy Parkinson in the Requiem at St. Peter's last week."

"Indeed," Albus commented. "Well my dear, I don't wish to put you on the spot. But we'd love to hear from you."

She did feel put on the spot, but she couldn't play and seriously sing, so she stood up and swallowed.

She let the clear notes of her high voice ring throughout the living room as she sang the sacred music, an arrangement of Requiem not sung that day at St. Peter's.

… qui tolis pecatta mundi, dona eis requiem… dona eis requiem— sempeternam… Requiemmm… 

She barely finished as the screaming profanities ensued again.

_Good grief._ Snape hid a smile, though he could not deny her voice was lovely.

"Excuse me." She muttered as they heard her run upstairs, yell at the painting, and cover it up. She ran back downstairs.

"Well, I think that's enough for one night don't you?" Hermione stated.

"Beautiful, Hermione that was just beautiful, " Minerva offered.

"Yes, thank you," Remus said. He seemed a bit misty and Hermione patted his arm.

Well, at least he got a bit of a break from his grief.

"Molly, as always, that was a delicious dinner," Snape said. Even he had to give her snaps for that. Molly was by far an outstanding chef. He nodded to Hermione and that was all the comment she got. 

That earned a rather severe look from the Headmaster, but he didn't speak of it.

She adjourned upstairs after goodbyes were said, and found a spare scrap of parchment to write down her ideas…

_I hate to love him_

_The exquisite torture of unrequited love_

_His voice and manner_

_Haunt my dreams_

In both sun and shadow.

_Love? Ugh!_ She crumpled it up and shot at the wastebasket for a two point shot, and missed. She threw herself down on the bed and opted for sleep over work.

***

Severus Snape disapparated to Hogwarts grounds in thought about the interesting evening. Truly, it had been the first evening in a while where he'd actually allowed himself to enjoy the company of his peers. He had even tolerated the werewolf. _And his horrible singing. More like howling. So off key!_

_And Granger. She was more talented than he gave her credit for. What couldn't she do? She sang, she played an instrument. _He hadn't played in years and he found himself envying her as she recalled the chords from memory. She looked beautiful, easy and relaxed, so natural as the notes erupted from her throat. _Where did they come from, so airy it seemed dreamlike?_ _Yes, my boy, you fall in the music 'appreciation' category._

She seemed quite a bit older and more mature than her peers. She tended not to outrageously sigh and huff like she used to. She was a pouter. But he couldn't remember how long it had been. She was headstrong, but intelligent. 

He had heard the full story from Dumbledore about her ploy to lure that troll Umbridge into the dark forest. _Magnificent. Worthy of Slytherin even. _Of course she had also solved his potions riddle when the trio went after the Philosopher's Stone, and brewed the insanely touchy Polyjuice potion her second year. She was twelve! 

She'd overloaded herself with classes her third year and still came out smelling like a rose when grades were being passed out. He was sure she'd break. _But oh no… damned girl. _Minerva's pride and joy. Surely her Owls would be superior as well. _Thank Merlin for her, Potter would be dead by now if it weren't for her._

He felt the mark scorch his arm and he disapparated before entering the castle.

The robes and silver mask weren't always customary and this was fortunately one of those times. 

"My Lord." He bowed obediently. 

The circle of Death Eaters was small this evening, a bit of chill in the air, they were far north, and it had been raining. Lucius was present, as well as Crabbe, Goyle, Parkinson, and McNair. The Lestranges and Crabbe managed release from jail while they awaited trial... still— suspicious to say the least. They likely owed Malfoy quite a bit for that feat. _The payment for favors was steep._ Snape made a point never to be in anyone's debt. 

Bellatrix had a hard time standing upright, having been tortured severely for all of their failures at the Department of Mysteries. She had been punished for allowing the prophecy to be destroyed. There were no excuses. She could scarcely stand for someone to touch her.

"My servants. I come before you today, to offer up a new plan. One of which I expect our dear Snape to play a key role. Step forward."

Severus did so, and looked submissive but obedient. The right balance was important. He didn't want to be viewed as weak. "The next part of our plan is crucial," he hissed. "Your charge is to make a list of all known virgins in the school once term begins. Leave no one out."

Snape nodded, "Yes, My Lord." Just thirty minutes ago he was listening to sacred music and now he was called this half-snake half-man 'My Lord'. _Merlin, the irony._

He knew better than to ask what they would be for. It didn't sound good. He would tell them when they needed to know. _But he hoped, yes…_

McNair was thick and his thinking cap was a bit lower than everyone else's. "What are the virgins for My Lord?" he asked a bit too eagerly. 

A good question. A reasonable question. Everyone was thinking it, they just weren't stupid enough to vocalize it.

"SILENCE! Crucio!" When Voldemort was casting the Unforgivables… well it was bad. That's why poor Bellatrix was in the shape she was in. 

McNair cried out and he was a bloody mess on the muddy ground. He quite obviously could not get up, or he would have done so. All of the expressions of the remaining Death Eaters remained emotionless. Snape was often grateful for the privacy the masks afforded.

He stood there awaiting further instruction. "And do you want to know my plans for them, Severus?"

"As you wish, My Lord," Snape replied.

"That is the correct answer," he hissed. _Merlin, but he was scary when he was this calm._ So unpredictable.

"Very well. We will be performing one of the ancient sacrifices, a blood ritual involving the power of virgins."

Snape's mind whirled with spells he had only heard vaguely about. There were plenty of dark rituals involving blood, and some rare potions which called for virgin's blood, (freely given) which was difficult to collect. Most of those potions were scarcely used any more.

"Those of you who have daughters, do you know whether or not they have been spoiled?"

Parkinson spoke up quickly, aware he had the only unmarried daughter, "I offer Pansy, when I can ascertain her status."

"Don't be so sure, Patrick. These days, who knows? That's where you come in Professor Snape. Surely you can devise some method of locating the virgins among the student body."

"Yes, Master." _Oh no. Please let them be loose and sex crazed this year. I promise I won't patrol bushes or look in closets. Gods, how to explain this to the Headmaster?_

Snape was paralyzed somewhat as they were adjourned. He has actually made it though a Death eater meeting without being cursed. 

All in all, it was a victory. But he didn't feel like celebrating.

***

Hermione vocalized aloud her frustration with an ARGGGH! And once again the portrait woke up screaming those filthy epithets.

"MUDBLOOD FILTH! FREAK OF NATURE, GET OUT GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! HOW DARE YOU…"

That was it. The last straw. She had been working for hours— and after tearing up the same page for the third time, Hermione was officially losing it. She was living here for three months and she was not gonna let some dead old bigoted cow yell at her all summer.

She stormed out in the hall, her hair flying behind her as she screamed louder. "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU OLD SMARMY BITCH!"

"BOIL COVERED DISEASE INFESTED PIECE OF SHI.."

"ROTTEN CRAPPY EXCUSE FOR A PAINTING! CAN EVEN HURL A DECENT INSULT…."

"I BEG YOUR PARDON! DIRTY FUCKING GRYFFINDOR, YEAH THAT"S YOU!!!!"

The yelling continued as Hermione practically fought a losing battle with the portrait of a woman who was at some point Sirius Black's mother. Hermione was quickly becoming hoarse, and she preferred not to scream. 

Then she had an epiphany. While Sirius' mother continued to shriek with glee, gloating at her belief that she had indeed won the shouting match, the clever witch descended the stairs to the piano below. Hermione made sure to choose the most God-awful music ever and play as loudly as possible. 'I'M HENRY THE EIGHTH I AM, HENRY THE EIGHTH I AM I AM…'

She laughed maniacally as she pounded out the tune on the keys, keeping the pedal depressed almost the whole time completely drowning out the noisy painting. Then abruptly, she switched to Beethoven, Brahms, and Chopin, the greats.

"Are we coming to some kind of agreement Ms. Black?" She called up.

She screamed again bellowing her all too familiar insults down the stairs.

Hermione changed tactics again playing an obnoxious rap tune. She wished she had her boom box here to plug in. No electricity was a limitation she had to endure. The screeching stopped again and Hermione rewarded her with a beautiful arrangement of Tchaikovsky's work.

"Did you say something, Mrs. Black? Now, that's sooo much better isn't it? I know we can work out an arrangement that is mutually beneficial for both of us…"

She heard some mumbling that was still a curse but not nearly so loud. 

Hermione returned upstairs and leaned against the wall.

"The next time to open your big fat face to scream for no reason, I promise you I will march right down there and play the most loathsome music you have ever heard. And I do promise you, it can get _much_ worse."

Mrs. Black said nothing and Hermione took it for a yes.

"Wait a minute Mudblood," She began. "What do I get in return for my silence?"

Hermione's eyes narrowed, "My name is Hermione. And it depends. What do you want?"

The elderly woman frowned in thought. "I want these curtains pulled back at all times."

"I'll try. I'll mention it to the other people who come in. Hey, and no being a bitch to Harry okay?"

Mrs. Black's furious look was a devil's glare, but she reluctantly agreed. "Alright! Alright. I would like the antique barley twist chair from downstairs moved back up here across from me with Phineas Nigellus' painting from the library."

"The chair I can do, but do you and Phineas argue?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, of course. He's an asshole. But he's family." She said it matter of factly.

"No deal."

"Okay, I'll try to be civil," she said through gritted paint chips. Truth be told, she was lonely. The house was mostly vacant and she liked it when Hermione played traditional music.

"Alright, we'll try it out. I'll have to wait for Molly Weasley or Remus to perform the sticking charm."

"And one more thing…" Hermione gave her a look like she was pushing it. And eyebrow asked her to continue. "No singing."

"Except when company is here?" Hermione didn't want to give up the thing that had been offering a good deal of cheer to her friends and the Order.

She groaned. "Okay."

Hermione took the curtains and curled them neatly behind the hooks on each side of the portrait.

Hermione bounded down the stairs to retrieve the chair and brought it to rest across from the life-size portrait. It would have to be right next to her bedroom. She hoped she and Phineas would be quiet.

***

The manuscript was coming along splendidly if she did say so herself and it was killing her to keep this a secret. It was brilliant, and she had read it many times over while she transcribed. Her fingers ached from the repetitive position of her hand. When she soaked her hand up her wrist in warm water and Epsom salts, it left other members of the household with the impression that she had been tickling the ivories too much. 

She had stayed up as late as her eyes would allow, without sacrificing uniformity in her writing. Letting out a loud yawn, she walked down the steps to the library for a break, walking to her favorite chair now occupied by her employer.

_Speak of the devil._ "So how has your summer been, Professor Snape?"

He didn't even look up from his book to address her. "Miss Granger, contrary to what you might think, I would prefer not to engage in idle chit-chat about my summer with you. I expect you to treat me the same way as you do when school is in session,"he rebuked and casually turned a page. He was definitely living up to the greasy git reputation.

_This was the man she was attracted to? Hell!_ That was painful. She willed herself not to react, hard to believe after all they years his dry rude comments could still affect her so. She muttered a small apology and walked silently toward the den. 

He was a night owl too. It was two a.m., and she realized she and Snape were the only two people here. _Was he waiting for someone?_

_Not gonna cry, not gonna cry…_ her eyes smarted. Hermione was tired. She had just spent nearly 8 straight hours on his research. _He had some nerve!_ But despite her hard work on the text, he didn't know about her and she couldn't fault him for being the usual bastard he was. _Shit._

She sat at the piano without thinking, and began to finger the keys lightly. It was almost a lullaby. She knew several. She played 'Nocturne' by Sarah McLaughlin and felt her shoulders relax.

***

Her apology was soft but he heard it. That scolding ached him more than any attempt from her speaking back. _Merlin, how on earth did he expect to encourage her if he couldn't even be civil? _He raked his fingers through his black mane and couldn't read any more._ What was keeping Albus anyway?_

He got up and paced. _No more academic texts._ He rubbed his eyes and perused the volumes. _James Joyce, Hermann Melville, Emily Dickenson…_ He pulled out a book filled with Shakespearean sonnets and returned to his seat.

Then he heard the faint tinkling in the next room and anticipated the worst. He darted into the next room. "Miss Granger!"he snarled in a whisper. "Do you want to invite condemnation from above?"

She just looked at him smugly and played a bit louder, "Do you hear any screeching Professor Snape?"

He didn't, to his surprise. _Why wasn't she shouting?_

"What did you do to the portrait,?" he asked coolly.

Hermione smiled a sweet clever smile and kept playing. "We've come to an understanding."

That earned her an eyebrow raise.

I'll see your sexy eyebrow/ lip curl and raise you another smile.

Dumbledore strode in finally, and Snape turned to greet him.

"My dear Hermione, you're up awfully late." He cheerfully observed.

"Well, it's not a school night." She smiled and finished the piece, "I was just going to bed anyway. Goodnight."

Dumbledore and Snape met in the library and Hermione felt curiosity prick at her as she wondered on the conversation.

***

Damn, but there was no whisky around.

"Albus, you're not going to like this," Snape dreadfully began.

"There was a meeting this evening."

"Yes," Snape replied. "The Dark Lord asked me… well, he asked me to provide him with a list of all of the virgins on the school roll."

Dumbledore could not and did not respond. His flashing eyes were ones of a crazed man. There was a good reason why Dumbledore was greatly feared by Voldemort, and Snape saw it right there. Nobody threatened his students. No one.

After a few moments he asked, "What do you think it means?"

"I do not know. But I will read up on it." It was all he could do. Read. Granger's solutions weren't so bad anyway. It had served Snape well.

"I will talk to Remus. Perhaps he will have some knowledge of it."

"I will do my best, Headmaster." A piece of silence threatened them both with unanswered questions. "Bloody hell."

"My sentiments exactly, Severus."

"Even Patrick Parkinson offered up his own daughter. Not that he had a choice." Snape took a deep breath. "I sincerely hope we have a free thinking student population this year."

Albus frowned but didn't argue.

**Author's notes:**

Thank you for reading! Please review! I'm trying to pick up the pace. Hope you enjoyed the match between Hermione and Mrs. Black.

Thank you Ash and Merry the Psychotic Coconut! 

I can't wait to write more for you! I promise to keep up with the other story as well. Just wanted to launch this fic with a bang. It's half written in my head anyway.


	4. Trippin' Mad

Disclaimer: You know the drill. S'not mine, never was or will ever be. Chapter Four: Trippin' Mad 

***

The next days went by at a steady pace, Hermione mostly spending time alone— with occasional visits by Mrs. Weasley.

Hermione focused entirely on the manuscript, sometimes so distracted by her own inner monologue that she would take breaks and read on her bed— pondering why he didn't try such and such an ingredient, or use the freshly pressed oils of plants instead of ground powders (so notorious for causing need for greater quantity in potionmaking. The oils would lend greater strength earlier in the plants life thus conserving natural resources), or why blue morning asters were so rare to locate. _Couldn't they be cultivated in specialized greenhouses which mimicked their natural habitat?_

She jotted notes and theories to herself which she kept in the false bottom of her trunk. She felt only a little guilty for her early use of the documents, but inspiring thought was what the book was intended for— and so he should take it as a compliment. If he ever found out.

She was almost 1/4 done with the volume. And then she came on her first diagram. Hermione Granger had excellent penmanship, but she did not fancy herself an artist of any type. She settled for tracing some of the drawings, experimenting with a light box to aid drafting.

She ran downstairs to peruse the shelves for old botanical texts with pictures of scientific flowers. She also pulled out Beatrix Potter's works and old pictorial studies on the behavior of ants and bees. The calligraphy in those books was magnificent and after multiple attempts she was satisfied she could at least draw a decent cauldron.

His illustrations of flowers and roots became more complex, and she noticed the Professor had used different colored inks to help with identification of plants. _Oh dear._ She needed more ink, otherwise the 13 varieties of bellflower would look identical to one another. She decided to do it all in black and then fill them in later when the inks arrived. She could discretely order them through Ms. Renou. 

As the chapters progressed, she was finding more confusing words…. 

_Was it belladonna or baiiafoma?_

Sometimes the words just all ran together. She decided to write a letter in her uniquely unrecognizable hand—she figured if she was hired for this effort she should at least make her correspondence presentable. She read through the work again, marking the places, pulling the offending pages. She added that she would prefer a list of the inks 'he or she' had used to color the potions ingredients and flora, which would save valuable time in avoiding the trial-and-error method in order to get it right.

That morning, she asked Ms. Weasley to borrow an owl and sent along her careful note, one to 'KR' and the other unmarked, both wrapped in the same enchanted paper.

Katie would surely send Buckwheat again, her amazingly invisible owl. He always ducked and stayed out of sight. She felt nervous using Pig— he was a bit to hyper. Now Hedwig would have been wonderful, but Harry's snowy owl was a bit too eye-catching and recognizable.

Pig darted around, hooting madly. Finally the manic owl rested before looking up, hoo hoo hoo-ing hopefully at Hermione.

"Now, Pig—" she whispered. "This is very important. Take this to Katie Renou at Flourish and Blotts and to no one else. Understand? This is top secret." 

Pig surprised her and settled down with a soft hoot. _Amazing. Some animals could understand humans. _Pig looked like he'd taken a Valium. Pig, now almost normal, would never be as still again, she was sure. She released the miniature owl outside the front entrance and she flew immediately to the trees. Hermione couldn't see Pigwidgeon anymore and was satisfied the owl had understood.

"Thanks Mrs. Weasley," she said when she returned to the kitchen.

"Don't mention it dear. Happy too. Writing your parents I suspect hmmm?"

Hermione winced. She had been so caught up she hadn't sent any messages. That was unlike her, and it was the summer. Nothing should be more important to her. She remembered Headmaster Dumbledore would be here Friday and vowed to give a letter to him then. All of the correspondence had to go through him anyway.

"Yeah. I may get a reply in the next day or so, is that okay?"

"Certainly dear. Don't let Remus get you so worked up okay? It's not like this is a business or something."

Hermione smiled. _Actually, it really was._

***

Snape sat in the dungeons in his reading chair encircled by books, papers and parchment strewn everywhere. This had been a common sight as he had written for two years on that manuscript and here he was entombed again by paper. 

He loved it. 

If it only didn't have to do with bad things. The hunt was engaging though. He was desperately researching for references pertaining in any way to virgin sacrifices and the Dark Arts. The search was not going well. So far he did not find any earthshaking results.

_Fertility spells on top of fertility spells, numerous ways of raping virgins.. disgusting._ He tossed those aside. _Not even close. Yes, we know about the unicorns… healing spells… yeah yeah…blah blah…_

Then he opened a book on magical objects. He flipped through and stopped on an interesting page…

A tapping at his stained glass window signified mail, and he reluctantly laid down the book to retrieve it. Releasing the latch on window, Buckwheat flew in, the tawny brown owl who had presented him before with the samples. _Surely they weren't finished already?_

The load was too light to be considered a finished work and he removed the letter. Muttering the slicing spell, the heavy communication unrolled itself, once again in the flowing hand of the artist. Buckwheat waited patiently at Snape's feet.

Seeing his stack of notes, he reviewed them. Clearly they were asking for clarification. He was both annoyed this would take time and grateful that the artist had so carefully labeled the places that needed further explanation. He frowned at the markings on his text, but then noticed they were easily removed and still stuck. None of the ink had been lifted. They were little multicolored pieces of tape, no bigger than a thumbnail with arrows. _ Hmmph. Impressive. _He wondered where he could find these in Diagon Alley.

Snape set to writing, and it went much quicker than he had expected. He had almost forgotten about the colorful diagrams, and the colorful inks were indeed necessary. He pulled his list of inks and wrote in the margins with arrows identifying which dyes and powders were used where. He boxed up the rarer inks and powders he knew were hard to find. It would not do to waste both the artisan's time and his own by forcing them to go on a pigment hunt. He cursed himself for not mentioning the ink before. Snape was very thorough.

Boxing the stack of papers up, with his reply and the items, he sent Buckwheat on his way. "I'm sure you know where you are going." He offered a piece of cracker from his table by Buckwheat ignored it. It appeared the owl was as distrustful as Professor Snape.

He returned to his book and examined the photograph of an antique device used long ago…

***

Weeks ago, Hermione found herself, envying her peers summer arrangement at 12 Grimmauld Place with the Order members. Ron and Harry spent at least a month there after their fourth year and Hermione was able to join in. Now that the war appeared to be heating up, Hermione felt her blood race a little— like she was on too much caffeine, as she anticipated the inevitable and unsettling battle to end Voldemort's reign of terror. Her friends needed her. And she needed to feel useful and do something to help end the war besides study for Newts. 

She worried that by the time they were old enough to be inducted into the Order of the Phoenix it would be too late to be of use to the current battle. Daily, she suspected Order members had their secret missions… gathering data… anticipating the Death Eaters next attack… studying potential weak points… recruiting new members… forging alliances with magical creatures too long discriminated against… the giants were proving difficult… keeping tabs on the slow trudging wheels of government at the Ministry. 

As she left on the train the end of her fifth year, she left in contemplation of how they, the students— the members of the DA, could be useful. Even without being able to do magic they had a cunning way of solving things. Hermione was convinced they could do small missions, or at the very least—research, which would free up others to do valuable fieldwork. 

She had longed to be here. In the middle of the action. And here she was. Anywhere but. The flat was dead silent, with the exception of the occasional chitchat of Phineas and Ms. Black. Hermione was waiting for their first screaming argument. She knew just how she would respond. 

Hermione was writing again, working on pages left in her rooms. Soon the flat would be filled with people and she wouldn't be able to do this work discretely. These rooms would become a haven for her friends, and gossiping. She'd need to clean all this up before they got here Friday. 

She was so happy when Mrs. Weasley had told her Harry would be joining them. Apparently he had cut off all contact with the outside world. He hadn't responded to Remus's or Dumbledore's owls. He wasn't calling Ron begging to be let out of the Privet Drive Prison. In fact Petunia had scribbled out a plea for Dumbledore to help him. She had 'never seen Harry so depressed,' she wrote. 

'Maybe she's coming 'round,' Molly had said. Hermione believed not. But Harry had mentioned how shocked his Aunt Petunia was the beginning of last year. Maybe Petunia knew more than she let on. She was definitely sensible enough to be afraid of You-Know-Who.

Hermione needed to see sunlight. She figured it would be harmless to walk around and stretch her legs. She walked downstairs and opened the door only to be accosted by Buckwheat. _Wow, that was fast. _She shut the door, removing the parcel and the owl hooted to be let out.

"Aren't you thirsty?" She inquired.

The owl continued to impatiently hoot and she let him fly. _Alrighty then._

She smuggled the package up to her room and opened it. She was thrilled to see the selection of inks and powders available as well as his meticulous notes. Snape was thorough. She decided to save the coloring for last and hid the ink in her trunk beside the galleons. She laughed out loud as she read his puzzled inquiry about the tiny Post-It-notes. They were inexpensive and he wouldn't know where to look, so she vowed to send him a care package of various sizes and colors when she finished the job. She imagined she'd turn red if she saw him using the Muggle invention in grading or his other class papers. 

On Friday morning her back was beginning to ache, and she packed up all of her things. A flash of her circular sonnet sprang to mind and a light bulb appeared in her head.

She had her idea for the cover. _Woo hoo!_ She pulled out her inks and quills again and pulled out a heavier parchment. Instead of a mere circle, which she had seen done before, she was ambitious enough to attempt scripting in a Celtic design. She drafted quickly the lines necessary and whipped out a Celtic book of knots. Using a pencil she made swirls and arcs, experimenting with the angles and loops.

She heard his familiar silky tones in his first year lecture…

_"I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, betwitching the mind, ensnaring the senses…"_

She half-wanted to swap out the potions text for his trademark lecture. But thought better of it. 

Perhaps just a sample… she could keep for herself.

She worked hard at it, the words forming the knot tapered and swelled in waves. They would appear as a wisp of smoke, the fumes… _That's it! SMOKE!_

She felt a little like Pig and she settled down to focus. After a series of drafts and sketches she stood back and admired her work. She was happy no matter what the author would say. It was brilliant.

Bravely, she turned to the title pages of each chapter, carrying the concept of the smoky loops around each heading and tinier around page numbers. She carefully inked the grayish smoke and hoped Snape would approve. She was taking one of her artistic liberties, and once inked, the pigment could not be removed—she'd have to start over if he hated it.

She packed everything up and let the cover dry. Her own sample of his twisted school lecture lay dry already and she wrapped it carefully, lining it with acid free paper on each side. She smiled and wondered if she'd ever get the nerve to show him.

***

Friday at four in the afternoon, Ron and Ginny ran in the front door and mobbed Hermione. They hugged, in a comfortable way, as Ron's feelings for Hermione had resolved. Dating each other would've been a disaster. They valued their friendship too much to let that happen. Dunderhead though he was, as were most boys his age, he was handsome. Hermione had to give him that. His reddish waves of hair were growing longer at the ends, much to Mrs. Weasley's chagrin. He was taking after Bill. Handsome devil.

Ginny was intelligent and precocious, a mixture of Fred and George's mischievous ways with less of their foolishness. Girls at school in Gryffindor House like Lavender and Pavarti were too interested in girlish, time-wasting activities which Hermione felt were better spent in the library. When Hermione wanted to 'girl-out' she knew she could do so tastefully with the likes of Ginny Weasley.

Ginny was a beautiful girl. Shocking really how Harry managed to miss her right under his nose. She had straight red hair which hung to the middle of her back, defying the curly locks of her parents. She had a fair and even complexion with a cheerful smattering of freckles along her nose to match her disposition. Her brothers teased her and said they could see Orion along her left cheek. Though she was the youngest, she definitely showed more maturity than the twins or Ron, without the stodginess of Percy.

The last of their group followed closely behind, escorted by Dumbledore himself. Harry looked a bit weary and Hermione walked to him to hug him. "Missed you," she said. "You look tired."

"Occlumency," was his one word answer. He needed rest. 

"You wanna catch a nap in my room?"

"Nah." She hooked her arm around his neck in a friendly way and ushered him to the couch for a butterbeer with Ron and Ginny.

Hermione had read up on Occlumency in a number of DADA texts and attempted to independently examine the concepts involved. It was an impossible feat without practical experience. Once Harry was feeling a bit more capable in his own skills, she wanted to ask him to help her. It could be pretty useful, especially when perfecting the subtle science and fine art… of lying to someone's face.

The Order of the Phoenix was an underground organization which was responsible for recruiting and mobilizing witches and wizards as spies across northern Europe. Led by the legendary Albus Dumbledore (Headmaster of Hogwarts, Order of Merlin, First-Class, Member of the Wizengamot, Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, Secretkeeper for the Order), they had quite a following including key Ministry officials: Aurors, Unspeakables, animagi, retired codgers, (i.e. Moody), a reformed Death Eater, a werewolf, and a con man. The Order was the key in the fight against Lord Voldemort. 

Despite news reports endorsed by the Minister of Magic himself, fear fueled denial and skepticism among the public who preferred to believe lies over the frightening alternative. Almost 20 years ago there were innumerable losses which affected every family. No one was left untouched by the violence of the Dark Lord. Nearly every wizarding household had lost multiple family members and friends to the Dark Lord— Death Eaters included.

On Friday night, it was business as usual, with Ron, Harry, Hermione and Ginny using extendable ears, listening in vain through the well-warded kitchen door, sound-proofed against the likes of them. Behind this door, was the real work, as twenty wizards and witches sat discussing strategy around a wooden kitchen table. 

Hermione longed for a piece of the action, feeling completely under-utilized, along with a severe case of cabin fever. Harry was feeling the same, a little angry at being left out-of-the-know— after all, _he_ _was_ the Boy Who Lived. _And what about the Prophecy?_ He was beginning to feel that the truth was owed to him. 

_Sirius fell through the veil. He was dead. And it was all his fault_. He would never be the same. Then Dumbledore had revealed to him the ultimate secret 16 years in the making— it was Harry or Voldemort.

Snape both detested him and owed him. Harry reminded Snape of both James and Lily, a couple of popular peers who seemed to have everything: supportive family and friends, good looks, the tolerance of the teaching staff, even love. He despised Harry for what he saw in him of James, a boy with every visible advantage and watching him take it for granted. Harry shunned attempts by adults to protect him. He was impossible, and did not—could not, fully appreciate the danger he had been in countless times, many times of his own making. Snape's mental picture of Harry growing up with love and support wavered with the Occlumency lessons. The glimpse of his horrible Muggle relatives was painful to behold. Snape felt answerable for the crime of following the man responsible for executing Harry's parents. Seeing Harry reminded him of that obligation daily. As did teaching Neville Longbottom.

Harry wasn't a glory-seeking boy, but he felt he desperately needed to redeem himself. Had he and Snape only spoken candidly to one another, they may have found that they had a great deal more in common than previously thought. He had not energetically practiced Occlumency as he had promised. Harry hoped that Dumbledore would work with him on that point. He was still furious with Snape for purposefully making Occlumency difficult for him and for being cruel, though in his own heart Harry knew he shared in the blame. Snooping in Snape's Pensieve didn't help matters. If anything it showed him a side of his father he never wanted to know. His scar still hurt at night, but only faintly. It seemed things had died down for the moment. He had not gotten much sleep. He stayed awake most nights staring at the ceiling, thinking about his godfather.

"Scoot over," Ron grumbled. 

"Stop it."

"You move over…" the whispers came, along with nudging elbows.

Hermione wiggled closer to the door and Ginny leaned away, rolling her eyes to the ceiling.

"We might as well give up," the red-haired voice of reason exasperated. "Our best bet is to pry information out of Mundungus Fletcher. You know how he loves to go on about things."

"Wish Fred and George were allowed to join the Order," Ron said. "They'd tell us everything." 

"Yeah, for a fee or favor." Harry chuckled. All of them stood up and collapsed on the sofa.

Fred and George ran a flourishing joke shop in Diagon Alley, doing well. Ron was positive they were making magical weapons on the side, for the Order, but it was an unlikely romantic notion.

"What do we do now?" Hermione asked.

"We could play chess…" Ron suggested.

"Ugh," The girls grunted in unison.

"What? So we can watch you beat Harry's pieces to pulp again? No, thank you." That had gone on for most of the afternoon.

"Hey! I win… Sometimes." Harry whined and smiled.

Hermione smiled too. She had wanted to see Harry in better spirits, but she knew it'd take a while at least to do that. One day at a time. Friendship was good medicine.

Soon enough the party broke up. Various members exited the now unwarded door. They were surprisingly silent. Remus and Dumbledore had their heads together, still whispering in serious discussion at the kitchen table. The old bat Snape was looking paler than usual, and Molly waltzed into the room drawing the two girls tightly to her side in a fiercely protective hug.

"I love you girls, you know,"she sniffed. Mrs. Weasley was misty-eyed and they realized something was amiss. Molly Weasley was very protective of her family, but she was not a weak woman by any means. Something had obviously scared her.

Ron and Harry were feeling a bit left out as they observed the spectacle. "What is it, you think?" Ron whispered out of the corner of his mouth. 

"Don't know," Harry replied with concern. He watched carefully the expressions of everyone in the room. Nearly all had either looked on the girls briefly with silent concern or avoided looking at Hermione and Ginny entirely. 

Something was very wrong.

***

The foursome sat around talking when they overheard Tonks arguing on the phone with a person they assumed was another Auror.

"…You can't pull her off…"

A few moments of silence.

"But…you can't have no choice! You're the lead…" Tonks said more loudly still being interrupted. That earned a loud shushing and 'keep your voice down' from Mrs. Weasley.

Another pause.

"…She's the only one who can sing. No one else can do it…" Hermione's ears perked up.

Harry and Ron saw her conversation held all of the surrounding member's attention. Snape, Dumbledore and Remus remained with Molly in the kitchen. Everyone else had already left on assignments.

"They're leaving in less than an hour? But… how can that…?"

"I understand… Yes… Uh huh. Yeah, I know… Yes, Sir." She closed her cellphone.

"Shit." The pink-haired Auror muttered insults under her breath and sat with a plop in on the kitchen bench. Her hands rubbed her face in frustration. "Crap, we have no time for this. I mean honestly!"

"So, no Misty?" Molly said. Tonks nodded.

"We have to call it off." Remus supplied.

"We can't," Snape urged. "This is the only opportunity we'll have."

Hermione steeled her nerves and stood up to bravely inquire if she could offer her services. It sounded like time was of the essence anyhow.

She walked into the kitchen, and was immediately redirected. "This is a private discussion, Hermione." Remus began with a stern fatherly tone. Everyone was staring at her.

She ignored Remus. "I couldn't help but overhear that you need someone with singing ability. I take it you've staged something soon and it's falling through because of this unavailable party?" She had excellent deductive skills. That and Tonks had a big mouth.

"You can't help, Hermione. It's too dangerous, and you're too _young_." Molly lectured.

"Just tell me what the assignment is. Does singing really involve that much danger?"

"Yes!" Echoed all five adults at once.

"Well…" Tonks hedged trying to salvage the situation. 

  
"Well what!" Molly said. "She can't go and that's that!"

"She'd just be observing. We just need another lookout. She'll have no contact…" the young woman persuaded.

"Absolutely not," Dumbledore protested.

"We can't use someone with false talent. It will be noticed. No glamours, no magical anything," Tonks explained.

"Tell me the situation, and maybe we can find a solution together. How much time do we have anyway?" Hermione inquired in her most studious tone. Ron and Harry watched as Hermione worked her persuasive magic. She was good, no doubt about it.

"Forty-five minutes," Tonks groaned.

"What's the objective?"

Snape's eyes narrowed menacingly— he didn't like where this was going. His answer was cryptic. "We must secure an object before it is removed to a place where we can't retrieve it."

"And who has it?" She continued.

"M.."Tonks was interrupted.

"Don't answer that!" Molly squealed. "This is absurd, we can't be discussing this with her. She's 16!"

"Actually, she's rapidly approaching her eighteenth birthday," Albus said plainly. All heads turned to face him in disbelief, and then looked at the young chestnut haired woman.

"She used a time turner in her third year to take extra classes," he explained. "And Miss Granger, even though you show maturity beyond your tender years, I am more than reluctant to encourage you."

_That still wasn't technically a no,_ she thought.

"So you just need someone to sing, someone who can see the whole room right? I just need to observe? I can do this. Let me help you," her jaw clenched, her tone serious.

"How do we get you there and back?" Remus argued. 

"Portkey." She said plainly. _Simple as pie._

"Unauthorized portkeys are against the law, Hermione," Remus said.

She let out a huff. "Oh c'mon. Is this the Order or not?!" She knew good and well Dumbledore made unauthorized portkeys. Truth was, it happened all the time. Like driving over the speed limit. Too many people did it and it was hard to get caught.

Tonks spoke up, "I could made her a pin that is both a tracking device and a portkey. It'll look like it's a part of her clothing. We can see her all the time through a little camera and hear her."

It was Snape's turn to be the pessimist. 

"Miss Granger, just because you can sing in a church does not mean you possess the talent required to sing at a high end club." His voice was an accusation, but also the intention was to result in her staying here, out of harm's way. He couldn't care less if she hadn't seen the light of day in weeks.

"Actually sir, I have sung in clubs before," _Ok it was a club, so sue me. _"I can do this."

"You shouldn't go." Snape said.

"She's not a member of the Order." Remus agreed.

"Vol-" That earned a scathing look from the potions master. Names were important. "You-Know-Who doesn't care if I'm an Order member or not. We need this."

Albus Dumbledore's look seemed to concede that point and he smiled at her.

"You've got…" she looked at the freckles on her wrist, "thirty minutes to come up with a better idea." She quirked her annoyed eyebrows up and met the steely gaze of Albus Dumbledore.

"Very well, Miss Granger. You will wear a portkey provided that you can slip into the role of entertainer."Albus said.

Mrs. Weasley was looking quite flustered, but watched on. The decision had been made.

"Fine. Pass me your cell phone, Tonks." She held out the phone and typed the keys to pull up the number to the club. "Who do I ask for?"

"His name is Tom Phelps," she answered.

"And who can't make it tonight?"

"She uses the name Misty. Misty Burroughs. She called in sick. Mr. Phelps was furious."

"Professor Dumbledore, can you cast a charm on my voice box to give me a slightly lower voice range?" Hermione prompted.

He extended his wand hand and pointed it at her throat whispering a spell on his breath.

She cleared her throat while the phone rang as she stared at the somewhat stunned group which surrounded her.

"Rue Nineteen, this is Angel may I help you?"

"May I speak to Tom Phelps please," Hermione said is a seductive voice.

Ron's jaw went slack a bit, in hearing her confident tones.

Hermione waited as she was placed on hold.

"Tom Phelps here."

"Mr. Phelps. My name is Myra Winters. I understand that you have an opening in this evening's show."

"Yeah, how did you know that?"A gruff voice asked.

"Misty Burroughs is a friend of mine and when she fell ill, she contacted me." Snape was impressed by her deception, hearing only one end of the conversation. It was kind of true.

"I don't have time for games. I have no time to book a new act, and have this go flop. You know what I'm saying?" His tone was one of an Italian. Hard to believe with a name like Phelps. He definitely ran the show though.

"I understand the situation perfectly well Mr. Phelps. I tell you what. I'll meet you in half and hour before things get busy and perform for you. And you can let me know then if you still wish to cancel."

"I don't know…"

She continued. "It is a Friday night Mr. Phelps, understandably the busiest night of the week. I expect if you don't have a full act, people are not going to want to pay the cover to enter your fine establishment. Am I right?" She didn't wait for a response. "Of course I am," she added in buttery tones.

"What's your name again?"

"Myra," she said in a velvet hush. Hermione looked at the group confidently.

"I'll see you at five. You'll have ten minutes, and bring a list of your music."

  
"Ciao." She clapped the phone shut and handed it to Tonks. "We're in. I have an audition in thirty minutes."

Damn she was good.

"Ciao?" Ron mouthed to Harry. Harry shrugged.

"I'll need an escort there and some clothes. Tonks, you're good with transfiguration right?" 

"I'm your girl." It was an absurd question. Tonks was Queen of Conversion.

They both stood up from the table and marched upstairs. Mrs. Black was mercifully quiet.

Moments later they came down with a hanging bag full of full-length satin gowns and formal shoes. Hermione's hair, now a dark brown, was upswept on a smooth twist at her nape, her makeup reminiscent of forgotten days. Red lips completed the look. She could've been a model. Or with the addition of heavy lip-gloss, she could've at least appeared in a Robert Palmer video.

She wore complicated perfume that was far too mature for her, but it was a serious measure. It went with the serious clothes she now wore.

She descended the stairs wearing designer crepe slacks and trendy stiletto boots. She carried her jacket on her arm and wore a form fitting low-cut collared sweater.

Snape regained control of his senses. _Student… student… student…_

Harry and Ron hadn't.

"Whoa, Hermione!" Ron gasped.

"Thanks, " she replied her voice still unnaturally deep. "Don't tell me, "she addressed Dumbledore, gesturing to her throat. "This charm wears off at midnight huh?" She did feel a bit like Cinderella.

"At least until then," he assured her.

"Good, cause I'd hate for my register to change in the middle of a song. Tonks, do you have the list of music Misty was planning to sing?"

She nodded and reached for her folder. Hermione was handed a list and she nearly sighed with relief as she recognized most of the tunes. _Everything was going to be fine._

She circled the ones she planned to sing, enough music for an hour and half, with one 15 minute break. Tonks charmed the paper for her, correcting it. 

This small action made Snape painfully aware of how vulnerable Hermione was. She could perform no magic. None.

After Harry's somewhat faint triumph at the Ministry last year, he had no faith that children who practiced magic even in self-defense would be awarded leniency.

"You ready?" She asked Snape.

"As ever, Miss Granger." He was not at all amused.

They walked out the back and disapparated.

Appearing in the alleyway, they walked up to the front of the club near the valet. The large brass framed double doors were locked as it was at least another hour before they opened for dinner. A burly mustached man in a slouchy, but fine suit unlocked the door for them.

"You must be Mr. Phelps." She extended her hand to shake his meaty one.

"He's your manager?" He pointed his thumb towards Snape.

"No, he's my ride." She said.

"You don't drive?"

"I don't drive, I'm _driven_." She leaned in playfully.

Phelps liked her humor. Snape stifled an urge to scowl and sat on a straight-backed chair in the rear of the hall.

"Your music?"He held out a hand with an abrupt motion. _Yeah yeah yeah… blah blah blah… show me what ya got kid._

She handed it to him. He glanced at it nodding. _The band could do this._

And she walked toward the back of the room to the stage. "What would you like to hear first?" She called out. She wanted to take charge. _Confidence would win this. Show confidence and people will have confidence in you._

"How about _Is it a Crime_?" He offered. He'd have to see to believe this. 

He was very picky. Gave Simon Cowell a run for his money. He had seen it all. People wasted Mr. Phelps time every day.

She sang immediately without missing a beat. 

_"This may come... this may come as a surprise— but I miss you… I can see through… all of your lies... and still I miss you…"_ the breathy vocalization carried easily throughout the room. Here was a place Hermione could be unrestrained. She loved singing in a club. It was liberating. 

_"Is it a crime? I still want you and I want you to want me too… hmmmm…"_

_"…My love is wider than Victorian lace…. Taller than the Empire State…"_ her body moved with the imaginary band and Snape was impressed by the maturity of her performance.

_"…deepest ocean— can't give you more than that… surely you want it back…"_

She ended with grand fashion as her voice sailed over the notes. Mr. Phelps could picture it easily. It was a crime— to look as fine as she did, sing like that with no band, and not be singing here every week.

He clapped in a deadpan way. She knew she'd wowed him. He just was biding time until he negotiated with her. He spoke through the smoking cigar he was chewing on, "Come 'ere." He feigned disinterest, waving her down front by the bar and poured her a glass of water.

She walked but didn't hurry and met his gaze the whole way.

She took the glass of water from him and drank. Licking her lips, "What say you Mr. Phelps?"

"My father is Mr. Phelps young lady. It's Tom. What's your price?"

_Damn._ She should've asked Tonks what Misty had been dealt. She hated it when they left it open, that way she could low ball and wouldn't even know it. This was a high-end joint, and she was only singing an hour and a half. This place seated 350 at least or more. _Drinks… cover…_ She didn't flinch as she said "Five hundred pounds."

"Honey, your twisting my arm," he joked. 

_Shit. Now recover. _"I figured that would be fair, since I'm an unknown and if I do well? Next time you hire me we can _renegotiate_ my fee," she said silkily.

"What makes you so sure I'll hire you again?" He bantered.

"You will Tom. See you at 8:30?" She finished her water.

"You bet." He liked this girl.

"Ciao."

She picked up her coat from the barstool and left on the arm of her 'ride.'

Snape was loathed to admit he was wrong. And he wouldn't. She was spectacular. But he wouldn't.

***

A couple of hours later, Hermione had been prepped and instructed. She had asked Snape what she would be looking for when he told her about who he expected to see there.

"Malfoy should be seated at the center table," Snape started. He scrutinized her reaction as he spoke, trying to make her shifty or fidget but she didn't budge. A slip could get her killed or worse. Hermione was as cool as a cucumber, though her stomach was in knots. 

"He is purchasing an object from a skittish Muggle businessman who deals in both the magical community and the Muggle world. He only does these kinds of things in large public places."

"How did you find out?"

"This businessman knows enough about Lucius Malfoy to be properly worried of him. He contacted a mutual associate and here we are."

"What should I look for?"

This was the sad part. Hermione would have the best advantage to see everything that went down. That's why it was so damned infuriating. She was the most important link. There would have been foreign Aurors dressed as Muggles throughout the restaurant, but they all got pulled away on assignment. That was suspicious enough. From the stage she could see everything.

"A waitress will come by to pick pocket it from Mr. Malfoy. You'll know when it happens. She's beautiful, and Malfoy won't be able to resist paying close attention to her." Snape explained. He sighed. "Don't blow it by looking too hard, but what you might catch a glimpse of is a slender brass object. It resembles a stylus."

"But it's not."

She wasn't going to pry out of him more than he intended.

"That's all you need to know."

She groaned. "Should I give some kind of signal then?"

Snape nodded. "Obviously."

She thought a bit, trying to avoid the discomforting gaze of the terse potions master. "It should be relatively easy for me to signal you. I'll be gesturing with my hands a lot when I sing anyway."

They settled on three signals. One was interlocking her fingers together in front of the microphone stand—that would signal she spotted the object. Her right arm extended in the air would mean we have it in possession. And lastly, her right hand traveling up her left arm would mean she'd been made or needed out.

Now she was beginning to get nervous. She tried to make believe that this was ordinary. She was just doing a gig… _yeah right. In front of Lucius Malfoy. Urgh._

She put in color contacts, false eyelashes and kept the chestnut brown hair pulled straight as you please, smoothly in a twist on her nape.

She'd change at back of the club. She put some emergency money in her bra. Tonks approached her with an elaborate vintage pin which was both a portkey and a muggle spy device. It was a tiny camera and a tracking device. Her right earring reflected an image of Hermione as well. Two cameras, and two televisions sat on the kitchen table of the flat being watched by Remus, Albus and Molly. Ron, Harry and Ginny sat in attendance as well.

*** 

Snape vanished seamlessly to God knows where as 'Myra' walked in the side door of the establishment to change in the dressing rooms. She was greeted by one of the band members and introduced herself. She flirted shamelessly with the director and won them over with her wit. Snape witnessed her laughing with them openly. They looked as if they were laughing at the punchline of a funny joke. She had blended in as a regular.

Hermione excused herself to slip into her gown. Mr. Phelps had selected the red satin one for this evening. It came to a V in the front and back, with wide neckline extending around her shoulders. Delicate formal pleats curves around her breasts and waist in traditional fashion. She transferred the pin to her gown and inspected her makeup.

She waited for her introductions and signaled the band leader of the first song. The lights in the club were low and talk was lively, even at 8:30— a very successful establishment. 

Tom Phelps observed from the back and nodded in appreciation as the crowd fell to a hush.

"I gave you all the love I got, I gave you more than I could give… gave you love…" 

Hermione scanned the audience as she began with the tune most familiar to her. She sang passionately, and could sing these first few songs in her sleep.

_"This is no ordinary love… no ordinary love…"_

There he was: Lucius, Malfoy. Next to the blonde there sat his wife Narcissa, Mr. And Mrs. Parkinson and Pansy! _Crap it was a reunion._ Hermione wasn't worried about the adults recognizing her, but Pansy? They had just spent two weeks singing together. She would bet a sack of money that she could spot her, disguised or not. 

Lucius was seated across from a jittery fellow in a three-piece suit. He shifted uncomfortably and attempted to watch the show.

_"There's nothing like you and I… baby…"_

Hermione tried not to stare and attempted to observe out of her peripheral vision.

"Love… wandered inside.. stronger than you… stronger than I… 

And now… that it has begun.. we cannot turn back.. we can only turn… 

Into one. 

And I won't never be too… far away to feel you… and I won't hesitate at all…

Whenever you call…"

There was some heated arguing at the crowded table, and Lucius had rebuked the waitress for hovering too close during their discussion. 

Hermione tried to remember to smile and not wear too serious of an expression. She was singing, this was supposed to look fun not painful.

Her performance was important and she needed to wow the crowd before they got bored.

She laid into the bridge, claiming the attention of the crowd, gesturing wide with her arms. __

_"…Whenever you call! I-aaahhhh won't ever.. be to far to fe-el you and I won't hesitate at all… whenever you call… And I'll always remember…. a part of you so tender… and be the one to catch your fall… whenever you call…"_

Now she had their interest, and Tom was nodding his head in approval in the back.

_"I was a wayward child… the weight of the world that I held deep inside… life was a winding road… and I learned many things that a world should know…_

_But I close my eyes…Still I feel like a child as I look at the moon… maybe I grew up a little too soon…"_

Snape listened carefully to the words which spoke too close to truth. This young girl was up there singing in front of the most depraved man he'd ever known next to the Dark Lord in order to protect girls such as herself.

The night wore on and song after song, nothing happened. She watched carefully, but also performed well. Gesturing with her hands often, she appeared to sometimes be lost in the music. Snape wondered if she was paying close enough attention.

Painful words were sung, more psychologically charged than ever. 

Myra Winters was possessed by a passion inside of her that could only be described as soulful.

Who knows whom it could have described. Snape just watched silently trying to keep his attention on Malfoy not Hermione.

_"It's hard to explain… Inherently it's just always been strange… Neither here or there… Always somewhat out of place everywhere…_

_Ambiguous…Without a sense of belonging to touch…Somewhere halfway…Feeling there's no one completely the same…_

_Early on, your face…The realization you don't have a space… Where you fit in… And recognize you were born to exist…_

_Standing alone… Eager to just… Believe it's good enough to be what…You really are… But in your heart…Uncertainty… forever lies… And you'll always be… _

_Somewhere on the…Outside…_

_And it's hard! And it's hard! And it's hard…_

_Irreversibly… _

_Fall- falling in between… and it's hard… to be understood…_

_As you are…As you are!… _

_AND OHHH! And God knows… _

_That you're standing on your own…_

_Blind and unguided!—Into a world divided! _

_You're thrown… _

_Where you're never quite the same… _

_Although you try! Try… and try…To tell yourself…You really are… _

_But in your heart— uncertainty forever lies… _

_And you'll always be… Somewhere on the— outside…"_

Tears pricked at the edges of her eyes, thankful for waterproof mascara. She really shouldn't sing songs she too closely identified with. She thought of Snape as she sang, empathizing with his lonely plight as a spy amongst murderers. The applause of the crowd was deafening as she realized she couldn't make out the table amongst the standing patrons. It was intermission.

She quickly took a bathroom break as she was expected to. Many of the guests had the same idea and she saw the Muggle businessman go to the bar for a drink.

In the stalls of the employee's loo, she heard some muffled sobs and collected herself to see what was happening outside her stall.

"Her…mione… I can't believe it's you…" heaved a distraught Pansy. _Pansy!_

"You were right to be worried… I can't believe… my own father…" she sobbed. Hermione rubbed her back nervously as he consoled her companion. 

"What is it?"

Pansy wanted to continue, but stopped herself. "Dad, he… you know he's a…"

"Death Eater?'

"Yeah. But… he asked me if I was a virgin and…" She cried harder. "He wants to turn me over to _Him._"

It wasn't registering. "That doesn't make any sense…"

"I can't believe it. My own f-father… would s-s-sacrifice me! Talking about it over a glass of wh-wine in a big place like this so I won't make a scene…" 

Hermione looked at her seriously. "We need to talk about this later. Pansy…" 

She caught her gaze anticipating her question. "Don't worry they don't even recognize you. Hell, I barely did. Had to fake your age to sing here huh?" She smiled halfway. "Good job. I mean really."

"We'll figure something out Pansy. Really. I'll find a way. Don't say anything,_ please. _Okay?"__

She nodded and dried her tears quickly like she'd done it a million times. Pansy pulled out makeup from her purse as Hermione returned to the stage a bit shaken.

_Two more songs and no deal._ Myra pressed on.

"Did I ever give you any doubts… have I ever given you any reasons… for you not to feel the same love I feel for you baby?… Won't you try to read my mind… it's worth more than minor words can tell you… 

…It's got to be real.. cause if it doesn't feel the way I feel with you baby… I tell you I don't want it…"

And there it was, the exchange of money plain as day. And the brass flicker… _she interlocked fingers around the mic. _Snape sat up alert in the darkness.__

_…I promise I won't let you down.. I promise I'll always be there… I swear I'll stay right here…I swear I'll be there… I swear I'll be right there…_

The waitress arrived and bumped the table inadvertenly knocking over Lucius' wine, he cursed and spun to face the stunning brunette who clumsily attempted to clean him up with a cloth napkin. Lucius was clearly entertained by her nervous display rubbing up against her subtly. 

_I don't need no body else… because if I doesn't feel the way I feel with you baby… I tell you I don't want it… No… dare to be real…_

Hermione raised her right hand at the climax of the song as she saw the subtle lift. Snape smiled. They were home free.

Almost.

_Oh Shit. _As soon as the 'waitress' left the table she stumbled a bit and the tiny object fell out of her grasp, spinning wildly. She kicked it with her shoe. This was not happening. It was like something out of a Mr. Bean film.

_"Dare to be real_!" Hermione swung arms wide in an attempt to distract everyone from what concerned her.

_It had slid across the floor rolling beneath the band._

She finished the set, as she thought about how to rectify the situation. Everyone clapped and whistled; she bowed as the next act came on to set up equipment behind her.Malfoy wasn't looking frantic yet, so he thought he still had it. _Just a few more moments._

Snape was flipping out until he saw what happened next. Hermione walked forward to the front stairs of the platform and she walked casually up to the band and shook hands with members, thanking them for their accompaniment. Laughing and chatting again, she searched for a glimmer of the stylus. A fly buzzed around her and stopped after she waved it away.

She knelt by the director and fingered it easily, it was peeking out from his music stand. She didn't notice the tiniest sequin fall, effectively leaving herself behind with the band as she walked away.

Waving and turning, she slipped the metal object between her cleavage so she could have her hands free.

She walked to the rear, slightly out of breath. She leaned against the back wall, and fingered the pin. 

It didn't work.

***

Back at Headquarters…

"Oh shit."

"What? Don't say that. Don't say 'Oh shit' Tonks," Remus interjected.

"The tracking device fell off." She panicked. Tonks was a good Auror, but damn she was clumsy. She winced under Lupin's gaze.

"Oh no! Look!" Remus pointed at the screen, Hermione was frantically rubbing the pin.

"WHAT! You mean she's stuck out there without a way to track her AND without a portkey?!" yelled Harry. He'd had enough of danger. And his friend was in the middle of it.

Ron heard 'without a portkey' and came running in with Ginny from the den.

"What was that?"

Harry repeated it for them.

Ginny, the voice of sanity, reasoned. "Don't worry Harry, she's with Snape. It'll be fine."

"I'll give you fine. He's a glorified observer! If Lucius sees him, he can't do anything."

"Hold on a sec, Harry," Remus spoke up. "Snape is king of stealth, okay? He surpasses even myself. If he doesn't wanna be seen, he won't even be noticed." He swated at a pesky fly on the table and killed it.

Tonks whipped out her cell phone and began to dial.

***

Snape picked up the offending object and answered.

"Yes?" He seethed low.

"We got problems." Tonks explained.

"Don't worry, I saw her pick it up," he waved off any concern.

"She's not _here _yet, Severus."

Hermione had vanished from his view.

"What do you mean she's not there… yet?" Snape became only a bit uneasy. It had only been a few minutes. Then he saw Lucius walk towards the back of the hall, holding something suspicious in his hand. All expression vanished from his face, becoming more disturbed with each passing moment as Lucius swept his wand arm back and forth.

"Her portkey didn't activate!"Tonks confessed.

Snape hung up the phone and dashed to the back of the building to enter from the side.

***

Hermione panicked. She looked through the curtains of the stage and couldn't see Snape anywhere. Lucius was moving.

Shit.

She ran to the bathroom and stripped to her street clothes still hanging in the stall. Putting the instrument in her front jacket pocket, she zippered it shut. She left the dress on it's hanger and stormed out the rear door. Raising both arms in desperation the Knight Bus popped into view.

Stan Shunpike began his long-winded speech. 

"Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency tran…"

"COME ON LET"S GO!"Hermione yelled.

"On the run, are you dearie?" Ern asked.

"She is idn't she Ern?"Stan observed.

"SHUT UP AND STEP ON IT!" The infamous Knight Bus shot off like a cannon.

***

Snape barely caught a glimpse of the Knight Bus before it vanished. _Bloody hell, she could be anywhere!_ He couldn't apparate on a bus that insane, he'd splinch himself trying.

***

"What's closer? Diagon Alley or the Forbidden Forest?" She heaved in a panic.

"Forest Miss, but it's too dangerous…"

"Idn't it dangerous Ern?"

"Yup. Dangerous."Stan said.

"Take me there NOW!" Hermione screamed.

"Yes ma'am. Don't have to be so mean about it," Ern quipped.

"Don't we always take people where they wanna go?" Stan stated.

"Yup, we sure do." Stan answered his own question.

The Knight Bus slammed to a halt and Hermione nearly collided with the windshield. She hadn't even sat down. The ride took a whole minute.

She bolted from the double decker.

"Thank yeh, and come again soon!" Ern called out after her. 

"That wudn't polite, it wudn't Ern." Stan chastised.

"Wahddya mean? I wuz nice."

"This is for emergencies. We dinnit want to wish 'er an 'mergency do we Ern?"

"No, but she's in trouble idn't she? We'll prob'ly see her 'gain." Ern defended.. 

"Reminds me of that Neville fellow. What's his other name… Harry Potter wadn't he? Crazy wadn't he? Dinnit I say he wuz nutters?" 

"Yup." Ern agreed as per usual.

***

Not far behind, he saw Lucius Malfoy step out of the shadows and lift the device he held in his right hand. With a crooked smile Lucius knew he had located the object and Myra Winters. He disapparated.

***

Running as fast as her legs could carry her, Hermione fled into the dark trees jumping over roots and branches ducking under low limbs hoping she could find the spot. She'd read about it in Hogwarts a History and with magic being out of the question, Malfoy likely not far behind, she just had to hope for the best. That tomb had to be here somewhere. She hoped that her need of it would lead her straight to it. _Worked for Harry when he needed the stone._ She prayed for a miracle. _Please, please a tiny ray of moonlight to offer any aid_. _It was true, you could pray anywhere_, she laughed as she ran for dear life.

It was pitch black. 

***

Lupin, the werewolf three days out of the month, recognized the forest on the camera and sent word to Dumbledore. 

"That's so dangerous, all kind of creatures out there," Tonks exclaimed. 

"Yeah, we know," Ron muttered. _They'd been out there far too often._

Molly was in a horrible state, "I told you, I told you…" She muttered some choice words about Albus. "…crazy old man… without the sense of a…" 

Harry piped up quickly, "Hey I know why she went! There's an old portkey in the middle of the forest. She talked about it last year. She's nearly memorized Hogwarts and history."

"Tell me about it," Ron said. 

Lupin passed it on to Dumbledore.

They could only hope.

***

After running for nearly 5 minutes, the courageous Gryffindor was getting frightened. The woods were whispering horrifying tales of death through winds which carried foul smells. Creepy things. 

Then, there it was. A stone rectangle seated high off the ground, the beacon illuminated by moonlight because the trees above had parted. 

_Thank the Virgin._

Hearing footsteps and crunching leaves behind her, she resisted any impulse to check for a sign of her pursuer. _A little farther…_ A mere meter from the prize, her right foot caught a root and she tumbled forward… but just far enough to touch the damp stone crypt as she felt the familiar tug at her navel, welcoming a delightful and dizzying disappearance.

The portkey was spent. Myra Winters vanished. The device was gone. Lucius Malfoy slammed his hands into the tomb in outrage. He worried not only what his punishment would be for having failed such a simple task, but also how quickly he could defeat a crowd of angry bowtruckles. Out of breath, pissed off, and entirely surrounded, he was quite beyond the point of gathering enough energy to apparate. _Shit._

When the whirling feeling subsided, Hermione Granger opened her eyes and found herself face to face with Albus Dumbledore.

Author's notes:

Many thanks to all of the helpful reviews. No flames yet, thank you! I do however appreciate criticism and feedback. Thanks. Next up… consequences of her indulging and the fallout at 12 Grimmauld Place. Poor Harry…

Ezmerelda: So helpful as always! I've read and reread. Hope you like the rewrite of the first chapter. I'm trying to put up new chapters quickly, partly because I'm obsessed. And even though I proofread a lot I don't always catch everything. I really need a beta. When I get a chance, I'll comb through 2 and 3 again and reload. Still having problems with the italics at the end of some of my fics, I can't figure out why the formatting drops off y'know? And I bet you 'guessed' correctly, but you won't meet them for a while. Wink!

And Buckwheat is cool idn't 'e Ern? Sneaky. (Belongs to Katie Renou.)

GeekGoddess1: Being shook up is good. Helps you reevaluate why you believe. Have you read Dan Brown? His books are really good. BTW love the pen name

Victoria: Oh no. Don't die. As promised, another installment just so you'll stay with us. ;0)

Marie Falcon: Thank you for the compliment. Does that mean your reading The Burden of Sight too? Yay!

Dandysgirl: Thank you, but I must admit, I use the web a lot. If anything reading good fan fic with a lot of literary refs makes me want to pick up an old High School syllabus and catch up with a little Shakespeare and Latin. I am in the 'wanna be' category.

Alicat999: Thank you very much. Fortunately no flames yet. Hey since you're an RC, what can you tell me about lighting candles in prayer for a relative or friend? You know those large ones you can purchase from most stores with pictures of saints? Do you think Hermione would light one in her room at school or no? After all she doesn't really get a chance to attend mass during the school year, she must find other ways to worship. If I write it in, I want to get it right. Without overdoing it. Hmmm.

Amsev: Thanks for your review and thanks for the quote. I'm trying to come up with the second round of war between the Dark witch and the Mudblood. It wouldn't be wise to tempt a clever one such as Hermione.


	5. Letting It Go

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on Harry Potter, the work of J.K. Rowling. 

So fine

Wish it were mine, 

So I'll say it again, 

one last time— Still not mine.

Chapter Five: Letting It Go 

Hermione sat in the nearest chair and released a tearful breath as she wordlessly thanked the Blessed Mary again for protecting her. Panting from the physical exertion of running, she sighed and shook with relief seeing the gleam in Dumbledore's ancient eyes. His trademark twinkle was absent, what did she see there? Anger, regret, sadness or relief? Maybe it was a mixture of all of those. He had objected to her going, but not as much as perhaps Professor Snape did— who was marching up the circular staircase toward them.

"Albus! We have a pro…" Utterly shocked to see her there, he flung out his arms and gripped the chair his knuckles rigid and white. "Miss Granger!"

Then the lecture started and Dumbledore hadn't yet said a word.

"I thought I told you to stay put!" He spat, jaw clenched, anger barely in check.

"You also said I'd be 'observing.' " She shot back.

"Actually, to be precise, it was Tonks that gave you that idea, and I instead agreed with the description of dangerous. Do you recall?" He was leaning near her, now in a full professorial rant, complete with his over enunciation of consonants. "You didn't even wait to see if I would find you…"

"With your obvious skill, you were completely hidden from view! And— _if_ I had waited… Lucius would've nabbed me for sure."

"You shouldn't have gone at all." Snape's voice was firm.

"It's too late for that now, but it was _necessary_." She said calmly. Still in her deep voice, Dumbledore's spell hadn't yet worn off. It was a little weird hearing a foreign voice from her lips. She sounded like a smoker… or maybe Kathleen Turner.

"Oh really, and what do you have to show for it?" Snape's hands were on his hips, his words laced with accusation.

She opened her jacket, slipped the slender brass cylinder out from her breast pocket, and held it up with a jiggle of her hand and a faint smile. _Don't forget about this._

Dumbledore watched the exchange and clapped a bravo as Snape retrieved the device from her grasp. Holding it horizontally in his palm it spun and pointed with a warm glow toward Hermione.

"What _is_ that thing?" She asked shrinking back from it.

"It's a virginity detector," Snape drawled with a smug lip curl.

Hermione sat, red in the face, thoroughly embarrassed as her privacy was invaded by two men she would've preferred not known about her status. Bowing her head and raising her forefingers to her nose, she pinched the bridge of it, feeling the makings of a headache. _You have got to be kidding me!_

_What the heck would Lucius do with that? Wait… I just risked life and limb for a magical object that's sole purpose is to detect whether or not my hymen's intact?! _She was furious. Then she thought on Pansy and 

wondered if there was more to it. 

Snape looked too smug indeed in noting the result in her behavior. He enjoyed too much getting a rise out of people. She suspected it made him feel somewhat in control. In reality, he was just glad to know that as long as others were out of control he could not be manipulated himself.

"Thank God for the portkey," she changed the subject.

"Actually Hermione, that is something I wanted to talk with you about." Dumbledore began fingers steepled in front of his chin. "I believe you read _Hogwarts, A History_ and read about the legend of the tomb?" 

"Yes…" she replied, knowing he was leading her somewhere with this line of questioning.

He continued, "And you came to the forest thinking you would use it to come here…"

She nodded.

"Then I should tell you, that while I've always admired your thirst for knowledge and book reading — Indeed you are quite dedicated, I can't fault you there. _Hogwarts, A History_ is so old, it is not frequently updated. That portkey had been inactive for some time, I'm afraid."

Hermione's eyes widened in horror. "Then how did I get here Professor?"

"Remus contacted me and I reactivated it shortly before you arrived." He looked over his spectacles and Hermione was left with the undeniable truth. 

She had narrowly escaped death or a worse fate.

***

After a thorough debriefing of the evening's events with Snape and Dumbledore, she returned to 12 Grimmauld Place. She decided to mention Pansy's situation under the auspices of that it was "out of concern for her peer" to Professor Snape. As Pansy's Head of House, he would be compelled to help her. She disguised her obvious interest in finding out exactly how those ideas were connected, but was determined to get to the bottom of it.

When she walked in the front door she was pulled into the arms of Molly Weasley, resident adoptive mother. Hermione didn't mind, but again it concerned her how she had hugged both girls before. Molly blinked back tears when she released the vice grip she had on Hermione.

Ron and Ginny were next, as both sighed relief at seeing her well with their own eyeballs.

"That was great Hermione! Good job!" Ron said. "Didn't know you could sing like that…" 

Harry took a look at her and an expression of bitterness crossed his face. His empty gaze revealed no emotion.

Ginny nodded but seemed a little far away. She cocked her head twice and to the left, toward the hall near the library where Harry had retreated. Remus was there in a manner of speaking, relieved but reserved and silent.

Hermione followed Harry, and the others left her to deal with her friend.

The black haired, green-eyed teen was a mess of chaos as he paced the library floor.

"Harry…" she said softly.

He shot her a contemptuous look, ready to explode. 

"HOW COULD YOU? THAT WAS SO DANGEROUS! GOD, WASN'T THERE ANY OTHER OPTION? NO, LITTLE MISS HERMIONE GRANGER HAD TO DO IT ALL HERSELF… YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME THAT HAPPPENED??? DO YOU?!" 

Not four weeks ago in the Department of Mysteries, Ron had gone silly, Ginny broke her ankle, and both Luna and Hermione had been knocked unconscious while Harry and Neville had fought for their lives.

And Sirius Black died.

Hermione looked at her friend with as much compassion as she possessed, and witnessed the unraveling which had little to do with her.

"YOU COULD'VE… AND MALFOY! SHIT! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Harry." She said softly, hoping her tone of voice would help him calm down a bit. She wouldn't instigate him further.

"You're sorry?!" He clasped his hands over his eyes and groaned. "Sorry about what? Y'know cause sorry just doesn't cut it!" 

She walked closer to him, trying to make eye contact with one of her closest friends. "I'm sorry I frightened you. I'm sorry that I could've died. And I'm sorry… about Sirius."

Harry grabbed her in a flash, squeezing the life from her and kissed her brow. "I could've lost you…" he croaked. 

She hugged him as tightly as Molly would've, and heard the cries come. He collapsed in her embrace on the floor and she held him long, as he let out the first racking sobs of grief since his trip to Albus Dumbledore's office.

She rocked him, and didn't shush him. Tears rolling freely down her cheeks, she rubbed his back, and she felt the eyes of her concerned friends around the corner. Remus sat in a corner at the piano, detached and lost in his own grieving place as he sympathized with his virtual godson. He and Sirius were like brothers once, and had reestablished their bond since Sirius had resurfaced and cleared his name. The loss had hit him very hard, and he confided in few.

Snape had returned for purposes of using the library and to wrap up with Tonks, tying up the loose ends of their almost disastrous mission.

The group was paralyzed as they heard the young man weep, and it was normal, natural even— no matter how uncomfortable it made them feel to hear the audible pain of the Boy Who Lived.

Then he snapped. Pushing Hermione forcibly away, he shot up to his feet, staggering backward in a rage. He simply could not bear any more physical contact or consolation. It made it too real.

Harry spiraled totally out of control.

He flipped over the chair and violently shoved books off the end table, resulting in a loud crash from the falling lantern. He began pulling off books as he cried, words muttered but incoherent. He needed this, but he also needed something else. Someone else.

Hermione got out of his way and stopped the advances of a furious Snape and Molly with a raised hand.

"Remus?" He looked up after she said his name a second time. Her eyes begged for his help. They both needed it, and Remus Lupin was the only one who could give it to him. 

Remus looked anguished and defeated, but he obliged. Hermione rested a comforting hand on his arm as he past her.

The group adjourned to the kitchen as they heard the situation quiet down.

_The library… was being… wrecked_. Snape wore a look of wrath under his skin, and opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't you _dare _say anything. I absolutely mean that." The glare from Hermione and accusatory finger pointed toward Snape said it all.

He was completely at a loss–- the only student he ever expected not to talk back fully intended on shutting him up even perhaps by force. He realized she'd probably saved him the hexing of his life by Molly Weasley. If the words he had been thinking left his lips he would have been dearly sorry. 

_Did he have any compassion for the boy?_ He was thinking about the priceless tomes and there Harry was, shouldering burdens he could not fully comprehend yet bearing them as well as any man. He'd led the DA, lost his parents, watched Cedric Diggory die, fought Voldemort four times, and found and lost the only opportunity at real family in Sirius Black. Snape agreed to help the boy with his Occlumency out of a desire to protect him, but instead the boy found it impossible to concentrate and dedicate himself to study. _But how in Merlin's name did he expect Harry to do that under the circumstances? _Snape had seen the halls of the Department of Ministries in the boy's thoughts, he had heard of his experience that he became the snake who attacked Mr. Weasley. _Could he have done it better?_

Molly transfigured an extra bed in Hermione's room and they all crashed. A big slumber party of sorts as no one was fit to do anything but sleep after such an emotionally exhausting evening.

Hermione strolled downstairs at two a.m., her sleeping rhythms long out of whack from her nocturnal habits.

Molly was still straightening the library and had it nearly repaired. Remus and Severus were silently tidying the strewn books, relocating the dislodged pages to their rightful owners where they had slipped out. Snape had intended on reading here tonight. Remus had moved a lot of his books here, especially dark texts. The place was so well-warded, it was much safer to keep them here. Besides, his own flat was running out of room. 

If anyone would have intel on virgin sacrifices, it would be Remus. Snape may have wanted to be DADA professor, but Remus had been fascinated by defense and dark magics since he was in grade school. He was decent with potions too, at least in terms of book learning.

Snape saw Hermione, and got to his feet. He had mending to do, on two fronts. He ushered her into the kitchen and began preparing tea.

"This is for Harry," he offered simply, a kind of apology. This was the kindest Snape could be to a boy he always outwardly despised. He handed her the tea and a vial of liquid she recognized as a calming drought.

"Thank you." She nodded. She made eye contact with him and held his gaze a bit.

"You… did well in spite of circumstances tonight, Miss Granger."

"Thank you, sir." _ I'd do it again. _But she didn't say it.

***

Harry slept well into morning, and Hermione and Ginny watched the sleeping figure of an average boy in out-of-the-ordinary circumstances.

Ginny was still a bit teary, thinking of how much pain he'd been through. But he was going to be fine.

They whispered in hushed tones side by side under the covers.

"Ginny, something's worrying me."

"Yeah what?"

"Pansy said her Dad was going to use her virginity somehow, give her over to Voldemort."

"Shhh, don't say his name!"

"Sorry," Hermione apologized.

"Her own father? That's awful." She sighed. "What do you think?" Ginny asked.

"I'm wondering what the meeting at the Order was about y'know? That device or whatever was a virginity detector or something… 

"I'm sorry. I heard you say it was a virginity detector."

"I did."

Ginny rubbed her eyes and ran a nervous hand through her tangled red locks.

"And you remember afterward your mom rushed out and hugged us, but not Harry or Ron right?"

"Yeah… Uh oh. Oh no…" _Here we go again. You know, this is how we get into these messes, Hermione._

"I think maybe we have something to be worried about, but I can't be sure. I need to talk to Pansy, but I don't think I'll catch her until the term starts."

"Why do you wanna speak to her anyway? She's always been so mean to you."

"Ginny! I think maybe she's in a situation where she has to go along to get along, y'know?" That earned a look of disbelief. "Well, maybe not, but Pansy was really worried. She sooo doesn't want a part of this, but she may not have any choice."

"What do we do?"

"Read."

"I knew you were gonna say that." Ginny said with an eye roll.

Harry woke up and Hermione served him tea and potion. She sat on the edge of his bed.

"Thanks Hermione," he said apologetically.

"Your welcome, Harry."

***

Days passed by, filled with her wrist bent and her nib at a forty-five degree angle. When Hermione's hand hurt too much she went to the library in search of books related to virginity, virgin's blood, virgin sacrifices. She couldn't find a pic of the detector anywhere. She was amazed at the range of books available. She found several books on blood used in potions for healing and protection, fertility. _Yeah, we got your fertility._ _Hmmm._ She read for hours and fell asleep in the chair where Snape had sat.

She tossed and turned in bed, her mind filled with feelings rather than images. She felt like she was burning from the inside out, about to burst with… something she couldn't quite place. It was both painful and pleasurable, agonizing but powerful.

Hermione abruptly woke up drenched in sweat, her face glistened with perspiration. 

She was burning up with fever, shivering from the illness which permeated her veins. She was dimly aware of the people who stood around her bed. As they came into focus through her sleepy haze, she could make out Mrs. Weasley to her left and the tall, imposing figure of Professor Snape to her right. Her ears were ringing as she reached toward the faint outline of the vial he held out to her. Taking it, Hermione drank it in one shot without question. She made a sour face, which accompanied a exclamation of disgust. "Aaawww…eewww…urgh!" _Worse than polyjuice, if that was possible._

Her face stilled as she felt a rumbling in her gut. She reached out for the bucket thankfully offered to her and promptly vomited in it. "You need to get a new job, Professor. That was wretched!" Her weak voice echoed in the plastic container. She hurled again. Molly pulled back her matted hair from her face as the retching continued. _Better out than in…_ she heard Hagrid's wisdom in her head. _Speak for yourself. Blechkt._

"It _induces_ vomiting, Miss Granger…" he remarked calmly.

"You mean, you _meant _for this to happen? God, I feel _so_ much better," she muttered sarcastically.

"I'm counting on it." Snape said dryly._ How do you keep doing this to yourself girl? First you turn yourself into a cat…_

She gave him a contemptuous look before she heaved again. It was like a 48-hour stomach flu compressed into a span of 15 minutes. Hermione looked up and thought about it— and bolted for the bathroom, taking the bucket with her. She wanted to be alone.

After cleaning up she stumbled downstairs in her weakened state, somewhat embarrassed at the aftermath. "What _was _that?" Her body felt like it was turned inside out.

"Miss Granger, _that_ is what _I_ would like to know." Snape said with thoughtful conviction. "You seem to have contracted a rare blood disease which is commonly caused by over exposure to dyes or pigments. The exposure must be in large quantities however, so I can't possible imagine how you could've become ill by it."

_Oh!_ The ink she was using was super concentrated, almost thick. Each day (and night) her fingers were covered in the black dye. Her eyes widened and she quickly recovered, her face betraying her secret. _Jeez, she was so transparent!_ She avoided the practiced gaze of the Legilimens seated across from her as she struggled to come up with a good excuse.

"Miss Granger?" A firm voice asked. "Do you have some idea?" His eyes narrowed to slits. _No one could hide from him._

"Yes sir," remembering how Molly saw her washing her ink covered hands in the kitchen sink the other day. "I spilled a bottle of black ink all over my hands the other day. It just seeped into my skin. It took me a while to scrub off, but I finally managed. My hands were gray for a day or so. I didn't think anything of it."

_Hmmm._ He mused. _That could be._

"Very well, if your symptoms return, tell Mrs. Weasley immediately and I will brew you an additional batch. However I can't make any claims that it will be any more… palatable," he added with a silky sneer. He seemed almost proud that he could make a potion more unpleasant.

"Thank you Professor." _Yes, thank you for making me both sick and well_. It was ironic, and she'd laugh about it later.

***

Two weeks later, Hermione had finally finished the manuscript. She laid out each page, comparing it over and over again to the original text. The second one would take three additional weeks, and she planned to pace herself more carefully than she had the first. She spent a good deal of time, sitting at the piano in quiet consolation of herself. She didn't feel lonely, she felt a bit hollow. She let her fingertips caress the ivory keys as she was unaware of the melancholy choices her heart was making. 

_Spend all your time waiting... for that second chance.. for a break that would make it okay… there's always some reason… to feel not good enough… and it's hard at the end of the day… _

The unspoken strains weighed on her and her hands felt heavy. She was tired.

When she was at her most peaceful, her mind was blissfully blank. But at most others, Hermione tortured herself with thoughts of him. He haunted her brutally, his tall dark figure of strength permeating her soul. She had appallingly allowed herself to wallow, succumbing to feelings and desires not in any way validated by the object of her affections. She burned into her memory the images of his look of concern rather than his loathing in Dumbledore's office. She memorized his comfortable slouch in the leather library chair, noting he assumed quite the same position she did as he absorbed all available literature. 

She imagined his hours of labor and love into the text she had bonded with day and night for weeks since she'd arrived. She had run her fingers lightly over the spidery words, as if to connect with the enigmatic man in some tangible way. Reading had always been an intimate pastime for Hermione. She often read books dozens of times, either for memorization or more often for the joy of reading. His eloquent manuscript was no exception.

In the end, she decided to place a 'Note from the Artist' section on the back of the manuscript. She signed it with a flourishy scripted symbol, reminiscent of the artistic design on the cover. One could hardly tell if the Celtic knot either resembled an H or a G. Effectively, it was both.

She repeated the symbol on a separate page to submit to Ms. Renou so that people could request her by this insignia. Hermione decided she would custom order a brass seal created from the clever ambiagram of her initials. 

Hermione was kind of sad as she slowly wrapped the book in the magical wrap and plain brown mailing paper and twine. She would have much preferred to present it to him herself, and regretted a bit the necessary burden of anonymity.

She decided she could at least ask K. Renou for a description of his reaction. Any feedback would be useful. She fretted and obsessed over the tendrils of gray smoke dotted throughout the text.

Buckwheat had come as a result of her letter to Katie. Hermione would use no other animal to carry the completed work. "This is it, Buckwheat. Do what your good at, and thank you."

For the first time, he nipped her affectionately. It surprised her, she had always imagined him in a virtual uniform, saluting her like a soldier before he departed in flight on his secret mission.

***

Severus saw her more often than he had expected to this summer, seated at the piano or drinking tea in his favorite reading chair. She had similar reading interests and a voracious appetite for knowledge which he admired. She was still over-eager in the classroom, ignoring the other student's needs to learn in favor of her own, pressing on in satisfying her hunger for education. Her beautiful melodies plagued him. He would sit in the library, eyes closed, allowing her music to wash over him.

She was too beautiful by far, and completely unaware of it. The younger Hermione had ignored her appearance, but now that womanhood was taking a hold of her, she was subtly taking more care. He worried on this, completely shocked that the device had confirmed her innocence— and identified her as a target for Lord Voldemort. It's not that he was attracted to her, because he had no need for such things anymore. He had long since given up any hope of a normal relationship or even an unhealthy one. Spying was not conducive for it and he preferred not to develop attachments at such a time. Instead, he was developing a growing fear and protectiveness for the innocent students he had spent years cultivating and watching grow. Pansy, Ginny, Hermione? What would become of them if they survived the war? All three possessed incredible magical potential. 

Their light, their youthful exuberance, their innocence—was about to be extinguished for a purpose as yet unidentified. He would be damned if he was going to find out at the conclusion.

Snape was going to find out right fucking now.

***

Professor Snape sat at his large ebony desk, which was littered again with innumerable books and papers. The desks before him were also piled high with various research. _Thank Merlin, Lupin was helping too._ Severus hadn't brewed much in days. 

Once again Buckwheat graced the windowsill of the potions master, disrupting his studies. Once he noticed who the visitor was, he launched himself toward the window. Seeing only a scroll, he groaned with disappointment, fingering the latch. The bird left without waiting for a reply, reaffirming his guess that there was another snag with his manuscript. He sighed and read quickly through the body of the letter:

_Dear Sir,_

_I request your attendance to discuss our arrangement. Please meet me promptly at 9:30 in the morning tomorrow, before the shop opens, as the work has been completed and submitted for your review._

_I anticipate you will be most pleased by the results._

_Kind regards, K. Renou_

Grinning from ear to ear, Snape could hardly contain his excitement, feeling like Christmas had come early.

***

He knocked on the door of Flourish and Blotts, peering in the window for any sign of Katie Renou in the dark shop. She walked up behind him and unlocked the tall door, the customer-bell ringing as it swung open.

"Eager are you, Professor?" She inquired with upturned brow.

He smile crept across his lips in response.

Katie walked to the back and he followed closely behind. She opened her office in the back, following the same procedure as before. She warded the door multiple times, and removed a hefty portrait from the wall behind her. Behind it was an attractive bay window which appeared out of the sheetrock. She unlocked it and looked at her watch.

They sat in silence as she waited with him, her look conveying exactly what was happening. Buckwheat was enroute.

In flew the bird, which releeased the large parcel carefully on Snape's lap and a tossed a letter in Ms. Renou's.

"Professor Snape. I would be glad to lock you in here and give you as much privacy and time as you require to review the work. However, if I may make a request— if you feel comfortable, I would like to see the finished product— if you have no objection." She waited for no reply and let him simmer on that note.

Locking the window and replacing the portrait, she left Snape to his long awaited treasure. 

He muttered a spell to remove the silvery paper and picked up the beautifully penned letter that accompanied the volume.

_Dear Sir or Madam,_

_I wanted to express to you my sincere gratitude for honoring me with such a responsibility._

_I have greatly enjoyed creating this for you, and I hope you are satisfied with the result. By the necessity of my work, I have read your manuscript several times over. I therefore wish you all success with this huge achievement. _

_The second copy should be ready in three weeks, but I await your feedback on the outcome of this work before I proceed._

_Warm regards,_

And it was signed with a circular flourish he couldn't make out. It resembled a knot.

He eyed the top page, carefully slipping off the acid free tissue which protected it.

_Merlin._ His jaw dropped as he saw the swirling recipe form the beautiful knot in a wisp of cloud. _21 lacewing flies, powdered bicorn horn…_ It was the formula for the Polyjuice Potion. _Perfect._ The beginning of that recipe formed the basis for many other potions and was an excellent example from his writings. _They had paid attention._

He turned the pages of carefully penned text and absorbed how many hours it must have taken to complete. Margins were perfect, letters uniform and legible. The drawings were an improvement, so similar and yet the angle of the sketched lines provided a depth that was appealing. He'd scrutinize the individual illustrations for accuracy later. Snape's eyes came to a chapter heading and noticed the swirling grey fumes which highlighted each title and page number. 

_Very tasteful_. This had completely surpassed his expectations. He read it carefully, spending a hour or so at least reading his own thoughts in such a brilliant display. _It was nice seeing your own work in print_. He came to the end and noticed an almost blank page except for the paragraph at the bottom.

_A Note from the Artist:_

It should be hard for you to miss what an exquisite contribution this scholar has made to the field of potionmaking. I feel completely honored to have had the opportunity to bring this magnificent work any additional beauty. I can only consider my script to be a novelty.

_This font is hereby copyrighted by law. It will be used again only with permission of the author._

The artist had offered him his own script. Designed for him. _Incredible._ He continued to read:

_Any future works submitted by this author I would gladly ink free of charge. The privilege to share again in these ideas before publication would be payment enough._

_Gesupelte himself would be proud. _

And it was signed with the Celtic motif of the artist. 

Gesupelte was his favorite of the historic potions masters. Two hundred years ago he had produced some of the most ground-breaking work in potions the scientific community had ever seen. And he was little known, his name a mere footnote, having the majority of his findings recognized only years after his death. Snape was flattered, but felt over-adulated by the remarks of the artist. The artist must have known quite a bit about potions to even mention the little known Gesupelte. In fact many of the ethical concepts in the conservation of ingredients stemmed from his first arguments back in 1700's.

He looked at the signature closely, and turned it like he had the sonnet. It read the same both directions. An ambiagram! 

He knocked on the door and Katie entered.

"So?" She inquired.

"It's wonderful," the praise came easily from his lips. He almost choked up.

"May I?" she asked.

He nodded and decided to show her the impressive cover page.

Her face went slack as she appreciated the workmanship of the page. "Oh my God." She pulled out some white gloves from a drawer and then carefully handled the paper. He watched her expressions change as the art historian evaluated the merit of the calligraphy. Clearly, she was not just a middleman. These were her books, her personal collection of what she considered to be the finest examples of workmanship around.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" He remarked.

She nodded absently. Handing the paper back to him for a moment, she rummaged through multiple texts and pulled many tomes. She opened one on Celtic knotwork and flipped through the pages, trying to identify what knot this was and what it represented.

She arrived at one and traced the outline of it with her finger, glancing at the twisted ribbon of potions text.

"Professor Snape, this," she pointed, "was the knot used for the cover of your book."

He looked at it and waited for her explanation. It obviously had some type of significance.

"It's a maze, just subtly different. It represents braving life's struggles, emerging from the center a stronger more triumphant being. And here, she pointed, do you see the dragon heads? The heads of the triskele represent wealth, power and wisdom. Yet, when I step back, I see steam or a snake. I really could study this for quite a while. When do you plan to publish this?"

"I do not know yet, but I suspect it will be soon," he supplied.

"I must say, as a person who has studied this art for quite some time, this book will sell as quickly for potionmaking as it will for the calligraphry in it."

_Hermione, you are definitely charging too little,_ she thought to herself.

***

Hermione sat again, pouring through yet another fruitless book. She had pages of notes now on healing spells and wards which required use of virgin's blood. _Why couldn't this be found in one book instead of a few 2 line references in 800 books? Ugh. _After this maybe she should put together a book with it all in one place.

She wished she were at Hogwarts. At least there she could use the restricted section, not that she'd had permission. _But hey!_ _"Books are for everyone"._ _Especially me._

But come to think of it, there were a number of Dark texts on these shelves. She thought it a bit odd that the adults would leave these lying around. Maybe they thought she'd know better. Wisely, she had avoided them. Books that contained dark magic could be dark themselves, not just the concepts themselves were dark. She squinted and made notes of the tomes here… hmmm… _Omens and Heresies: The Rise of Grindewald, Dark Magic and Muggle Artifacts_… she skimmed the bindings, searching for a promising one. 

_The Power of the Innocent. _

She picked it up carefully, touching it first to see if it would bite her, or if there was any malevolence she could feel emanate from it. Some books in the restricted section were bound with human skin, or dragon hide. Some of them screamed, or reportedly held ghosts and spirits long trapped in the pages. She had to exercise caution.

Sitting down in the black leather chair, she laid the book on the floor opening it with not her hand, but the tip of her wand. This was definitely looking more promising than anything she'd read so far.

…picking a bellflower. The innocence of women is more powerful than that of the… 

She saw a fraction of the page and then was interrupted. 

"Miss Granger, give that book to me at once." Snape thrust his hand toward her leaving no room for argument. She closed it and held it out to him where he snatched it from her grasp. He held the book behind his back as if to shield her from its wicked contents. 

"What on earth do you think you were doing?!" he roared.

_What did you think I was doing?_ She came up with the simplest, the most innocent answer. "Reading, Professor."

"Don't give me that, you foolish girl! You knew this was a dark text. That is playing with fire! You shouldn't be reading any of these!" He gestured to the tables. His expression was fearsome.

_Shit._ She hadn't returned some of the ones she'd pulled off the shelf. She hadn't cracked them open, she just wanted to see the title, but they weren't visible on the spine.

"I wasn't sir. I was just…" 

"I will contact Remus and have this area warded and sealed off immediately…"

"No don't!" _Please I'll do anything, please don't lock me out of the only thing that's keeping me sane this summer! Please oh please oh please, please, please. _Her brown eyes were giant and pleading.__

Satisfied with the outcome of this threat, he let the tension hang. Finally, after pitying the desperate look on her face, he gave in an inch. "Very well. We can ward the books that are here, so long as you agree not to touch them at all. I will be removing the more offensive texts to my office."

Her eye strayed to the hall behind Professor Snape who was standing in front of the sliding glass doors of the study.

Oh no. 

In the shadows of the ceiling, Buckwheat's golden eyes were looking at her and then at Professor Snape with confusion of his own. He glared at Hermione. _God, even the owl is scolding me._

"Yes of course Professor." She ran past him, making a hasty retreat upstairs, letting the trespassing bird into her room. _Gosh that was close_.

"Don't give me that look," she said to Buckwheat. 

The owl puffed up, as if to say. _You're not worth this letter._

"I swear I didn't tell him. I'm his student and I recognized his handwriting, okay? Are you happy now?" She threw herself down on the bed in a resigned huff.

Finally the owl relented, sticking out it's foot but looking away with a swivel of his head. 

"Do you have to be so melodramatic? I said I was sorry. Do you think I think this is normal?"

The owl didn't respond.

"Oh. So you're giving me the silent treatment, huh? Fine. See if I bring you food or water. Snape will probably be here all night."

She unwrapped the letter, from Snape and giggled to herself as she knew he could have told her in person. She'd laugh about this one for years.

Dear Sir or Madam:

(Oh so _now_ he is considering the possibility that I might be a woman.)

_I was extremely pleased with the result of your hard efforts. Ms. Renou herself described to me the brilliance of your cover art, and had assured me that this work will sell well for it's merit alone._

That being said, I am surprised you would consider taking no compensation for future works. While I once felt safe in the confidential nature of our arrangement, I find myself curious as to how you are so intimately familiar with the obscurest trivia in my field of study.

I am grateful for your generous contribution in copyrighting the unique script, as well as your glowing remarks concluding the book. Gesupelte has not only been a formidable figure in my research efforts but also his contributions have influenced the theoretical framework for my practice.

I am eager for the second volume, but take all of the time that you require to do it well.

As usual there was no signature.

Hermione read it several times. _Never._ Never had she heard such praise from his lips or in print regarding anyone. She wasn't likely to again. _I'll sleep with it under my pillow_, she chuckled. Now she really did want to get his goat and tell him.

_Gosh, did Katie really say the book could sell just based on the knotwork? Well, it was pretty good._ Hermione had chosen knots which she felt represented her best wishes for him. _However secret_. The book challenged the community with wise advice— and it was powerful, a wealth of knowledge. 

_But the maze?_ That was all about Snape. He was in a dark place. And she prayed for him daily to emerge a stronger person. She was surprised that his occupation hadn't ruined him. She prayed that he would have continued health and survive to escape his perilous duty.

The owl hooted and she checked downstairs. Snape was still there. She looked back toward Buckwheat and shook her head. He plopped on the bed and closed his eyes. It was going to be a long night. She wondered if she should pen a reply.

_Dear Artist:_

_Your approval of my work is a relief to me. It was hard to wait through hundreds of pages and worry about negative feedback. I hope the illustrations were to your specifications._

_I must admit, people hardly ever employ calligraphers anymore in the wizarding world for this type of large work. That was why I was so honored (among other reasons which I dare not share publicly) to pen such a manuscript. While I practice my art often, I have only recently sold my work. Your assignment was only the second one I have been selected for._

It should therefore be obvious that this is not my chief vocation, nor my main interest. I am eager to explore some of your suggestions to conclusion, and look forward to the advances it will obviously inspire in the artistic field of potions. 

_I am pleased to hear that Gesupelte was among your influences… lucky guess. I will send on the next manuscript as soon as I can._

Warmest regards 

She signed it with her circular symbol. She sighed and hoped it was cryptic enough. It would be as close as she would get to telling him outright. She read it over and over for slips or errors. _Had she said too much? _ She tired of thinking on it and wrapped it, waiting to tie it to the owl later.__

She went downstairs to eat, deciding on a simple stirfry with rice. Leftovers for tomorrow would make it easier to focus on finishing book two. She opened a butterbeer in celebration as she chopped, wishing she has a glass of wine instead. She had been close. That book… obviously Snape wanted it. He was still reading it in the library, she was sure of it.

Snowpeas, chicken, broccoli, celery, cabbage… A little bit of everything, that's what she liked. She minced ginger and garlic throwing it in hot oil first along with the chicken. Stirring quickly, she added the vegetables a pinch of salt, white pepper, soy, and a tablespoon of sugar. _Don't forget to put the sugar_, her mom would say. She added a little soy, and a cornstarch paste to thicken it. She covered it and removed it from the heat. Taking a swig of butter beer, she reached for the napkin drawer.

Snape was standing in the kitchen doorway with an interested look.

_This is a surprise._ _Quit it Hermione, stop it._ _He's your teacher._

"Are you hungry? There's definitely enough for both of us. And others probably…" she laughed. She opened the lid. She easily made too much even for three more people.

"I didn't know you aspired to replace Molly Weasley," he jibbed.

She set the table for two, "I assume you'll join me?"

Snape gave a curt nod. He went to the cupboard and retrieved the only substance for drinking, butterbeer.

"Before you eat, I want to assure you that Mrs. Weasley culinary talents could never be replaced, certainly not by me." She set the steaming plate before him with two plates and silverware.

He snorted. "That is the truth. Do you think she might accept a post in the kitchens of Hogwarts? I would not object."

"I think the house elves would riot and Dobby would lead the rebellion," she said lightheartedly. She had seen him command the kitchen. There would be hell to pay if anyone would try to cook in their kitchen. Hermione knew from experience. She tried to make Hagrid a homemade cake once for his birthday and Dobby and Winky had banned her from midnight kitchen raids for three weeks.

He laughed out loud, knowing that house elves were not to be intruded upon. They worked well by themselves, but did not 'play well with others.' 

The dinner went pretty well considering the company. She resisted the desire to ask him about his summer, or potions lest she tread in deep waters. 

He retired to the study with a small thank you, and left behind a spotless plate.

Still in the library, Hermione played piano for a while and adjourned upstairs. At this rate, Buckwheat would never be able to leave.

When she passed the portrait of Mrs. Black she heard whispered arguing.

"Phineas, why not?" Mrs. Black demanded low.

"You know why and stop trying to talk about this in front of … present company," he hissed.

"She has to know! Hermione…" she whispered.

"Don't say it…" he countered.

"Enough already!" Hermione interjected with her own soft tones. "Why are we whispering?"

"_He's_ downstairs."

"So what? He's trustworthy," she offered.

"That is debatable, young lady." Phineas Nigellus retorted.

"Let's talk later." Mrs. Black said earnestly. 

"No, let's talk now." Hermione argued.

"Filthy little ungrateful…"

"Oh no you don't!" Hermione grabbed the edges of the curtains in a stare down with Mrs. Black.

"Hermione, I overheard something. Ask me later." Mrs. Black said in her faintest voice. Hermione just realized she'd used her first name twice instead of the usual derogatory insult.

Hermione pulled back from the portrait and nodded with a look of concern.

Phineas piped up after she shut her bedroom door. "Now you've done it."

***

Author's notes:

Sorry I forgot to ref the music in the last chapter. And also sorry for such a limited array of it. Songs that appeared were "Real" by Donna Allen off _The Specialist_ soundtrack. "Close Your Eyes", "Whenever You Call" and "Outside" all by Mariah Carey on her _Butterfly_ album. "No Ordinary Love" and "Is It a Crime" by Sade. Sarah McLauglin appeared before with lyrics to "Angel." Love the Billy Joel _Cold Spring Harbor_ Album. Good stuff.

Also available, how to cook decent stir fry. A word from my father-in-law's broken English… "Don't forget put the sugar. Always put the sugar."

Maxy: Thank you chicka! And a goddess I be. Cool, and now I appoint you an assistant editor, especially if I slip up with the accuracy of Catholic references. I'm Christian (Disciples of Christ) though I have been often to mass. 

Jade: Thank you very much!

HarryPotterFreak1234: Now we get down to the object more in depth lay-tah. It will take me at least another chapter to bring us to fall term.

Ahiwai- I hope I can slip in more spy stuff. As always there will definitely be _sneaking around_. Yeah she is stubborn isn't she? Gotta love a fiery woman. Girl power! It will not be HG/AD. I love Albus just don't looove Albus. Ew. Oh—you mean after the… riiight.

Ezmerelda: Thank you for the feedback. And yay, it was proofreaded well! wink Poor Sev he needs more spice I his life. And shampoo.

Lyress: yay! Glad you think so. Haven't figured out Draco's role. Though I had thought about putting him and Pansy together.

Azulkan: Thanks… another cliffie. Actually this chapter was getting too long. I had to stop somewhere.

faerluthio: Ooh you sneaky devil. Sneak again sometime. I will reward you handsomely.

Angie S: Thank you. I myself fantasize about learning such an art. But, may likely not happen. Enh. I may try it sometime.


	6. Guidance

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the great and powerful Oz, I mean Rowling.

Don't forget to read and review! I'll try to post a new chapter this weekend. Quickly getting to the fall term soon.

Chapter Six: Guidance 

_Hermione, I overheard something. Ask me later. _

Mrs. Black's words swirled in her mind as Hermione drifted off to sleep. There wasn't much she could've overheard. Downstairs was being utilized mostly in quiet study. They had cooked dinner and had occasional visits from Ron, Ginny, and Harry, but for the most part, their conversations were benign. _What did she overhear?_  
  


The only thing of importance was maybe the Order meeting— but it was held in the warded kitchen. And there weren't any portraits in the kitchen to elicit a record from.... But she thought about Severus waiting downstairs and it hit her. _The study was at the foot of the landing…_

She opened her eyes as if she'd barely left the evening hours and sat up to see an annoyed Buckwheat. She smiled after noticing he had finally given up, seeing the pecked remains of shortbread left on the table in her room. She ran downstairs, and with no one around, she opened the door finally allowing him an exit.

She ran back upstairs and sat in the antique chair facing Mrs. Black.

"Hey, watch it Missy!" Phineas said in a muffled tone.

_Oops, _"Sorry." She had sat right in front of him, ignoring any respectful… _hey! It was a painting not a person! _Well, in the magical community different rules of etiquette applied.

She moved the chair to address both and waited for Mrs. Black to begin.

"I'm not sure I want to tell you now." She said haughtily.

"You are a fickle woman, witch! Last night you almost had _me _convinced…" Phineas picked up the thread of their previous argument.

Hermione looked really exasperated. "Just tell me, please?"

"SHE'S A MUDBLOOD!" Mrs. Black screamed.

Hermione stood up, disappointed in the giant step backward. She thought they had made progress.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT! And stop talking like I'm not even here! Why do you hate me? What do you have against Muggleborns anyway?" Hermione demanded. _Shit, did I just open a can of worms?_

Mrs. Black was all too happy to oblige her. 

"First of all, your _foul blood_ has _polluted_ us leaving its black mark on the once powerful magical community for generations." Hermione's jaw stiffened and eyes rolled, her arms crossed in a defensive posture before her. "Not that is your fault dear. You can't help it. We didn't formerly have so few magical lines, and many prominent wizarding families were persecuted and killed off by Muggles in a huge war long ago. Now look at us! As the blood of the non-magical community slowly worms it's way through our world we have become weaker. Sometimes it appears subtle, sometimes it's more obvious, but it is happening."

"I have never heard such elitist, self-righteous, bigoted… crap in all my life! What happened were not just persecutions but the Goblin Rebellions. And there have been more losses of strong magical abilities in the magical community due to deformities and squibs resulting from pure blood marriages—effectively, inbreeding is weakening you more than us evil filthy Muggles _ever_ did." Hermione was a little out of breath in the fury of her debate with the portrait.

"It's just a matter of time—your blood will be purged…"Mrs. Black spat.

"And you support Voldemort? A Mudblood?" Hermione baited.

"SHUT UP!!!"

"How conveeenient!" Hermione drawled. "So you discard your ideals whenever it suits you? Tell me, how do you justify _that_ one?"

"He was chosen by Salazar Slytherin himself! Only he could bless a Muggleborn with such a gift. And look, he is leading the army to purge us of the Mudbloods once and for all!"

She could hardly think of the Death Eaters as an army. It was no more than a fanatical terrorist group. Highly organized yes, but they were terrorists.

"Harry is a parselmouth too. Do you think Salazar, from _beyond_ the grave, " she rolled her eyes dramatically, "bestowed him—also a wizard with Muggle blood— with such a gift? _And_ he's expected to defeat your precious leader?!" _Take that._

"It's useless to talk to such a thick, bull-headed…"

"Mrs. Black. Stuff a turpentine soaked rag in it. Miss Granger, I suspect we will never resolve such a debate today, or perhaps ever. Agree to disagree, please— and let us move on."

Mrs. Black and Hermione grew quiet but were pouting or huffing with whatever dignity remained.

Hermione moved the chair back to its previous location and sighed.

As she returned to her bedroom, a voice stopped her.

"Hermione? Come here."

She looked in surprise at Mrs. Black, now calm after the storm.

"Yes?"

"You're in trouble I'm afraid. And while I want to be rid of all of the Muggle filth…" Phineas shot her a look. "…I cannot bear to hear of women being used in such a degrading way."

Hermione's mouth hung a little open as she listened.

"I overheard Professor Snape and Albus Dumbledore downstairs talking about virgin sacrifices. Not just one, but many, for the purpose of which they are still trying to uncover. They are expected to produce an entire roster of students who are virgins, Muggleborn and pure-blooded alike, and give it over to the Dark Lord."

_She was right, this was bad_. Her eyes glistened in fear as she soaked in the new information. _The detector, would they use it on students? Or were they just keeping it from Malfoy? Maybe both…_

"What else did you hear? Did they talk about Pansy?"

"The daughter of the Parkinson's! I swear if I was alive I would torture that Patrick Parkinson to death. I bet his wife doesn't support this plot. His own daughter! You know Hermione, this wouldn't be the first time a Death Eater has sacrificed one of his own kin for some short-term gain.

Stupid men. We've lived in the dark ages for too long. Patriarchy has held us back... always a Minister not a Mistress? The huge statue of a wizard in the MOM, the witch in a more submissive pose… did you notice? Women traded from father to their husbands like some kind of property. Taking the virginity of a young lady was a punishable offense at one point. You may treat sex casually in the Muggle world, but the first union of a married couple was supposed to provide additional magical strengthening of the marriage bond. Saving your innocence is important magic here. It is a shame that knowledge has been lost in modern society."

"Not all Muggles treat sex so casually, Mrs. Black." Hermione offered.

"Well now, Hermione, you may say I am contradicting myself, making another convenient exception. But that is _exactly_ what I am suggesting you do."

"What?" She couldn't believe her ears.

"I can only hazard a guess as to what they might be planning, but don't you let them. You don't want…" a edgy Mrs. Black looked far off at one point. "You don't want… your innocence taken in such a way. You choose how you want that experience to be. Take back your power by making sure they can't take it from you!"Mrs. Black quickly disappeared form the portrait.

Hermione was stunned. She shook her head when Phineas spoke up. 

"Miss Granger, Mrs. Black has had a difficult life. And she does support the actions of the Dark Lord. But she is a feminist to the bone. Women will always come first for her. Take her advice and be careful. As a former Headmaster of Hogwarts, I know you will do what you must to prevent such a travesty from happening."

Snape read again the delivered scroll, trying to pull from it the clues about the calligrapher's identity. The letter itself was an intimate thing, speaking personally to him about a work he obviously (she?) understood. Maybe he was a potions master? _Nah… they were too few… and who had time?_

What other occupation could they have which would permit them to work on such a volume and complete it in four short weeks?

He was a bit miffed to think he might have purchased the work of a novice, him being only the second client. But he had faith in Ms. Renou. She obviously thought highly of the artist. _And what would he dare not share publicly?_ That line had him stumped.

And… 'lucky guess'? A casual phrase. 

Gesupelte… The thought of being compared to or praised by him still flattered Snape to death.

He put the letter in the drawer of his roll top secretary. He'd never discover the identity of the artist from a cryptic letter. 

Give it up.

Hermione worked on the manuscript, making more errors as her mind wandered. _What would she do?_ She had no prospects or desire to lose her virginity yet to anyone. Not that she hadn't been fantasizing lately. She wanted to talk to Pansy.

The summer was elongating painfully. The second transcription of the book was not nearly as interesting as the first. She had papers all over the room. The book lay scattered in the four corners on the floor, in various stages of completion. 

Inking… drying… illustrations… proofing.

A rap at her door reminded her she hadn't locked it and she raced to the door to keep it shut.

"Who is it?"

"Open up, Miss Granger,"commanded the silky voice.

_Shit! _She locked the door quickly. "Wait a second… I'm not decent..."

Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap… she thought as she imagined Snape's impatient foot tapping, and his fingers drumming on crossed arms. 

She collected all of the papers, slipping acid free paper on top of the wet ones. She hoped for the best. _God, that was a lot of work. Please don't smear._

She tucked them in her trunk and grabbed a towel to indicate she planned to take a shower.

She opened the door to face the stern man. "It's afternoon, Miss Granger."

"Sorry, I just got caught up with a bit of light reading."

He laughed inwardly. The girl never read anything which could be considered light. "I was told that you needed to make a trip to Diagon Alley."

She had asked Molly to take her but didn't expect Professor Snape to do such a thing. "Sir? Yes, sir."

"How long will it take you to get ready?" He asked brusquely.

"Just fif-fifteen m-minutes maybe. I'll be quick about it." Hermione stammered.

"See that you do, I have more important things to do."

"I could wait for Remus or Molly to take me, it'd be no problem." _Don't want to be a little inconvenience to you, you greasy bat._

"No, I'll be downstairs."

She finished up in the shower and threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. It was hot outside and that begged for comfortable clothing. She wondered how even in summer he could wear the complete ensemble of a stuffy button-up suit, and robes in late June. 

_He'd seen her in pajamas. God, she must of looked like a crazy woman with her mad wooly hair, oversized tee and pin-striped pants. _Not the image she wanted to leave with her recent crush._ Romance was dead._

She toweled dried her hair as best she could and combed through it easily. _Thank you Sleekeasy's! _She secured her hair on the back of her head with a large silver barrette.__

"Be careful," Mrs. Black warned before she departed. Hermione thought on it and wondered if perhaps that's why she was being escorted by Snape and not Mrs. Weasley.

"Miss Granger," he said looking down at her. "I hope you're not planning a repeat of your previous misfortunate illness. I thought you hated the purging potion."

_Oh no. _Her right two fingers betrayed her as she noted the black stains on her calluses from writing.

"No sir. Just writing a letter. Excuse me." And she ran to the kitchen sink to remove the telling ink.

She grabbed the acetone she'd stashed earlier from beneath the sink, and worked at the stubborn stains until they turned gray and disappeared.

"Where are we going today?" he inquired.

"I need to make a trip to Gringotts." _This was going to be interesting._

When they stepped out into the fresh air, Snape noticed her sigh of liberation. Hermione smiled and let the sun fall on her face, looking up at clear blue sky. It was a beautiful summer day, and she could hear chirping and smell the grass of the nearby park. She hadn't been outside in weeks. The Headquarters had been both a refuge and a prison. People don't function well in cages.

Soon they were there, in the large marble hall filled with goblins and wizards and witches. Snape practically shielded her from view as he took inventory of who was present. He didn't want them running into anyone like Malfoy.

"Your key, Miss Granger?" The goblin croaked, with calculated look at Professor Snape. He was trying to add things up as was expected in his profession. Her small hand produced the tiny key and they were off through the torch lit stone passageway to the railway. 

The rickety cart looked like an untrustworthy vehicle. Hermione had ridden before, but her stomach lurched with the thought of it. She had made the mistake of looking down out of the cart once seeing the cavernous pit below her. It seemed to have no floor and it reminded her of the Mines of Moria in Tolkien's work.

"Professor Snape, I don't mean to be rude, but could I have some privacy please?" She asked a little too shyly. The familiar pouch weighed in her pocket. She couldn't allow him to see.

"No, Miss Granger. You may not. I assure you I have no desire to pry into your financial affairs." And he seated himself behind the goblin.

_Damn._ She squeezed in, and as she was seated, the cart shot off like a rocket_. _

_One speed only, _she remembered_. This is the portkey that doesn't end… yes it goes on and on my friend…_

Finally the cart stopped, and she felt her body involuntarily lurch forward. _Stupid inertia._

She stepped out of the vehicle and looked at the huge bronze door. She hadn't much money yet in there, though that was something being rectified by none other than the client seated behind her. She quickly asked the goblin in a hushed tone, "Could I go in there alone?" she asked.

The goblin knew his job too well and got her meaning. He took her key and opened it just a crack, following in behind her.

Snape was not at all pleased. This place was a fortress, but he wanted the girl in his sights at all times.

She removed the pouch from her pocket and crouched low to the floor, dumping out the contents, a surprising number of gold Galleons for such a small bag. They immediately straightened themselves in neat piles, and Hermione knew the coins had immediately been accounted for upstairs.

She left with just enough money to finish her shopping. She had emergency money in her school trunk at home. Hermione exited the vault with a relieved feeling, knowing the substantial sum was safe and that Snape was none the wiser of his contribution to the Hermione Granger scholarship fund.

Returning to the cobblestones of the street, Hermione was again aware of Mrs. Black's comment— though she imagined she was actually suggesting for her to be wary of Professor Snape, as well as any other outside influences. 

_He was a Death Eater, but he wouldn't… would he? _

She knew sacrifices had to be made, but she couldn't bring herself to consider the painful possibility that he may be required to sacrifice a student to further the cause.

She was lost in thought as they walked toward Eeylops Owl Emporium. There was a Stationer in the rear, the paper company which supplied her ink, quills and other needs. It was making her a little nervous that she would be purchasing things in plain view of the Professor. _Bizarre really._

"Professor Snape? So good to see…"

Hermione caught up from behind and stared into the bewildered eyes of Katie Renou.

_Oh shit._

"Ms. Renou," he said politely shaking her hand. "This is Hermione Granger, a student of mine from school."

"Pleasure to meet you Ms. Renou." _Thank you, we've met._

"Yes, how do you do?" She replied formally. Hermione nodded. She knew this would end up for discussion later. 

"Good day to you both."

Katie left a bit confused. The panic in Hermione Granger's face told her right away that the girl knew her employer. They would need to talk about this.

Hermione slipped through the rows of flapping feathers to the back of the store.

"Ah, Miss Granger!" the overly friendly storeowner exclaimed. 

_Please don't be too familiar… _

"What will it be today…"__

She stopped him quickly, before he said "the usual?"— grateful that Snape was perusing the wares behind her instead of participating in the display.

"A set of new nibs, a large tube of jet-black gouache, oxide of chromium, and another ream of… heavy text weight," she said under her breath, "natural." He looked at her a bit funny. _She sure was an unusual girl._

Mr. Lemmings went behind the counter and retrieved the usual, slipping the items into an opaque bag with the slender box of paper. Hermione paid him and pulled the drawstring on her purchase shut. There was a mound of scrap paper, which was intended for customers who wished to experiment with a collection of writing implements on display. She took a piece of scrap and scrawled a quick note to Katie.

She rolled it tiny and pocketed it, walking into Flourish and Blotts next door with Snape.

"Hello." She said to the short man in front of her, eyes wandering around for a glimpse of Katie. Mr. Holmes was not the person she was looking for but before she knew it she was being ushered back to the special orders desk. Once again Snape was distracted by books. _Thank God for that_.

"We have your special order ready, Miss Granger."

_Good grief, did everyone know her by name?_ Snape thought as he overheard part of the conversation. _Well, this is a bookstore._

  
  
Hermione quickly recalled her request in her last letter to Katie Renou and winced. 

"Here it is… unusual book…" She rudely snatched it before he could discuss it, and surreptitiously slipped it in her bag.

"Thank you Mr. Holmes—how much do I owe you?"

"Twenty-five Galleons." _Jiminy Cricket that was a lot._

She reached for her purse and forked over the sum. She walked a bit to the side, making the slightest eye contact with Katie who was peering through the crack in her door behind the reception desk. Hermione retrieved the tiny scroll, showing it to her between her fingers, her body between Snape's turned back and Ms. Renou's rear office. 

There was a decorative black vase on the desk, being used as a receptacle for quills. Hermione dropped her message in the vase and left. Katie exited her office and fished for it amongst the utensils. 

I swear, I haven't said a thing. He doesn't know. The manuscript was in his handwriting, I couldn't help but figure it out.

'Inflamare' Katie burned the scrap of parchment, a little bit more satisfied that at least half of their arrangement was confidential. She took her work seriously, and had no doubt that certain secrets could be deadly if revealed.

Long ago, few people had the benefit of the knowledge of how to read or write. Communities therefore turned to their ministers or area leaders to read correspondence or write for them, making them targets too often for spies wishing to intercept especially sensitive messages, especially during times of war. She hoped this would turn out okay.

Hermione was glad to get back to the flat. 

"Thank you for escorting me, Professor."

He nodded his agreement. She adjourned upstairs to her work desk where she laid out her supplies after locking the door.

She worked for hours and stood up to stretch after a moment of stiffness. She rifled through her books and uncovered her Bible, which was a painful reminder of the absence of worship during her summer. She didn't have opportunity to attend mass during the school year, but regularly attended and participated in the activities at St. Peter's when school wasn't in session. Meditating on the problems facing her in the upcoming year, she knew she needed guidance. She needed more than solitary prayer at the foot of her bed each night. She had been contemplating her abstinence, and how it would change her if she made another choice.

Hermione heard voices downstairs and quickly put her belongings away for fear that she might repeat the past afternoon's events.

Just as she closed her trunk, there was a rapping at her door.

This time it was Harry and Ron, Ginny standing behind— all grinning.

"Hey 'Mione!"

"Hey you guys." She grinned widely with a hop in her feet.

Harry dropped a suitcase and a bag on the floor in front of him, wearing a stupid grin on his face.

"Guess what?" He hinted. She looked at his bags, trunk and Hedwig in the hall.

"No way! Really?" He nodded, and she flung her arms around Harry's neck. She was so glad for the companionship in such an isolated existence, but also found herself a bit concerned as to how she'd finish her work.

They all piled in. Laughing about silly things, the boys argued about Quidditch, 'the only real sport'— while Ginny and Hermione sat to whisper about their previous discussion. 

"I bought a book today on the power of women," Hermione pointed to her bag.

"Really? Have you had a chance to look at it yet?" Ginny muttered.

"Not yet, but I will later tonight maybe."

She ate dinner with Remus, Molly and her pals. Hermione remembered her feelings of loss, and gentle tugging of her faith. 

After supper, she pulled Remus aside and asked him in a pleading tone, 

"Remus, I really need to go to church."

He looked a bit surprised, but fatherly in a way as he regarded her. "Hermione…"his tone suggested he might refuse her. She had a tear in her eye.

_Please don't say no._ She knew she needed to be careful, but felt she should at least be able to worship in a Muggle cathedral. _She'd stay in the back, out of sight._

"Please Remus, I _need_ to go to mass," she implored.

Remus Lupin was a wizard but was always respectful of other's customs. He looked at her again with concern, and relented. "Alright. I'll see what I can do."

Hermione was relieved and excited, jumping up a bit, kissing him innocently on his cheek. "Thank you Remus. Sunday mass at St. Peter's is at 9:30. Can I go this Sunday?"

He nodded with a smile, surprised at her youthful energy and amazed at how her whole demeanor had changed with what seemed such a simple matter.

Saturday morning she woke to Harry shaking her shoulder. Her lack of sleep at night rather encouraged late sleeping, but she was denied.

"Hermione? Wake up. I have a surprise for you."

She opened one eye and saw him looking eagerly at her. She stretched with a yawn and sat up.

"Yeah, I'm up." _Kind of._ "Surprise?"

He held up a large brown paper bag between them and pulled it out of her grasp.

"Can't I see?" She reached.

He got up and walked to the door. "Downstairs…" he called behind him, luring her into the hall playfully.

"This better be good," she mumbled with another yawn stumbling down the stairs.

"Don't you worry. It is, I assure you."

She walked by the study barely registering the presence of the potions master in the reading chair_. God, so early? Man, get some sleep will you?_

Crap, and here we are in pajamas again. What-ever.

Harry unleashed the masterpiece… the glory of Braun.

"Oh my God, I think I love you!" Hermione exclaimed. 

A real coffee maker. No more coffee from the tip of Molly's wand. No offense Molly.

"And…" he pulled two one kilo bags of coffee from the bag. "We can't have this without these."

Hermione snatched them and inhaled deeply. _Oh….oh!!!!!_ She was as giddy as she could be. "Real coffee! REAL!" _Ooh, Cinnamon Hazelnut… and Columbian_. It was going to be a good morning.

Harry nodded, and then the air went out of her sails. She held up the plug and waved it at Harry. "No electricity."

"Oh well," he said. "Maybe we can wait for Remus or Molly to come magic it for us?"

"Wait! I got it…" Harry looked puzzled as she left for the study.

"Professor?"

"Hmmm?" He looked up from his book. _Pajamas again, didn't this girl ever get dressed?_

She made note of his disapproving look. She sighed. "It's seven a.m. Professor, and I live here."

He shrugged. "What do you want?"

"Could you help us with a bit of magic?"

He was about to object, but she interrupted any snarky retort that was in the making.

"I'll make it worth your while." She teased. That earned an eyebrow raise. She loved it when he did that. "Sir, how do you take your coffee?"

He followed the overly confident girl into the kitchen where, to his displeasure, he saw Harry and an abnormally large black piece of plastic with a carafe.

"Please sir, we need magic to make it work." Hermione asked.

He sighed and muttered a spell. Soon enough, Hermione filled it with water, measuring three spoons of coffee into the filter. While it brewed she pulled out three cups, and then sighed when she noticed their small size.

"Professor Snape, could you make these larger? Like the size of mugs?" She suggested.

Understanding her goal, he indulged her request and muttered, "Engorgio." They grew to an adequate size and Snape tolerated her resulting glee. He too liked caffeine—large quantities were often necessary for late night reading. And early morning reading.

Harry took his black, and Snape accepted cream in his without sugar. Hermione took both. The smell was intoxicating and all three sipped.

The coffee was superb. Snape had frequented coffee houses before, but they were the wizard variety. He definitely needed to get out more. He took his cup and returned to his book in the study leaving the aroma of coffee in his wake.

"Thank you, Harry. Thank you, thank you, thank you." Hermione professed. She would survive the summer.

"Hermione, I wanted to ask you something." Harry mashed his lips together.

"Sure, shoot."

"I was wondering… did you notice Ginny last night? I mean, do you think she was acting a bit differently?"

You mean did I notice the shameless flirting looks and elbow jabbing? Duh. Who could miss it? 

"Um, no. Not really. What are getting at?" _Now you're just being horrible Hermione. Give him a break. Nooo, make him say it._

"Do you think she likes me?"

Hermione laughed at the image of Harry passing her a note in class with check boxes under the question. "Honestly Harry, you can be so thick sometimes."

"C'mon I brought coffee. Please talk to me."

"So you like her. Finally." Hermione challenged.

He breathed nervously in his mug. "Yeah, I think she's…"

"Yes… go on,"she prodded.

"She's beautiful."

"Noticed finally, huh?" Hermione smiled and shook her head. _Silly boy is finally catching up. Would they always be so slow to pick up in things? _ Then she thought about Snape. _Would he notice? Nah. Stupid, stupid, stupid, Hermione— hang it up…_

"Do you think she'll go out with me?" Harry asked.

"Before or after Ron hexes you?" She sipped.

"You think he'd really do that? I'd be better than Colin Creevy, or Neville, or that Michael whats-his-face…"

"Corner. Michael Corner."

"Yeah him. So do you?"

"Do I what?' _ You're so mean._

"Think she'll go out with me?"

"Who?" _Now you're just being cruel._

She burst out in a fit of giggles at his expression, laughed out loud. He slugged her playfully on the arm.

"I'm sorry, just kidding. Kidding! Yeah I do, Harry. She likes you. I'm surprised she hasn't asked you already. She's not shy, y'know? But maybe she was worried you'd say no."

"I won't say no."

Hermione wasn't sure she liked the sound of that.

  
  
On came Sunday, and Snape was not at all pleased of how his morning would be spent. Remus had accompanied Hermione to a mass at an enormous cathedral. St. Peter's was no small church. Having attended before, Snape knew Remus could not fully appreciate the crowd the historic house of worship drew every Sunday. Snape had objected furiously to her request, but Remus insisted and had in fact already agreed—without consulting anyone else. Merlin, under the circumstances, can't the wolf at least exercise some good judgment? 

Snape would assume a role suited to him. After the debacle at Rue Nineteen, Snape wanted as much security as possible. He hid in a dark corner, where he was quickly and surprisingly spotted by her.

"Professor Snape, how good of you to join us again. I thought you hadn't taken my advice…" Sister Mary addressed him through her kind blue eyes. Crows feet were good to her, enchanting her features beyond age. She wore her faith like a robe.

"Yes. Thank you."

She looked at him carefully and decided to let him do what made him comfortable. "Here is information on today's homily." She bowed to him and left. He was not noticed again.

Hermione sat in the back pews with Remus a few feet away. He gave her some privacy for her worship for which she was grateful.

The service began and she knelt to pray before mass on the kneeler provided. She bowed silently, opening her heart and mind for the Holy Spirit to speak to her, ready to hear the Word.

She sang the choral responses and psalms, unaware that her small practiced notes were being heard by another man through a device hidden under her collar.

Severus Snape was not a religious man, though he did study the magical abilities of mythical creatures that had gone before. Many witches and wizards prayed to various Gods or Goddesses, performing rituals and ceremonies during the solstices or other holidays which honored nature or some such thing. He felt that his gave proper gratitude to the higher power which provided such benefits essential to his most loved work. 

In spring, he would sit on a large moss covered boulder on a hill in the Forbidden Forest, watching from high above— waiting for the first rays of sunlight to open the petals of the rare _Oenothera speciosa_, a wildflower, a variety of primrose or buttercup which mostly grew in South America, not in England. The blooms lasted only one day and as he witnessed the frosty pink petals blowing freely in the spring breeze, how could he not believe that something greater than magic was at work here?

So he looked on in awe as he witnessed the personal display of her faith as Hermione knelt to pray, reading through the scriptures as she followed along with the priest. So innocent, the young woman was wearing a formal silk dress with lace collar, and wore a gold medal of the Virgin Mary around her neck. Snape heard her soft songs of prayer and reverent posture— kneeling at the end of the pew, crossing herself, and saw her receive communion at the front of the cathedral.

At the end of the service, she left Remus seated in the empty pew, and approached Sister Mary who hugged her in motherly fashion. 

"We've missed you dear. I expect you've had other obligations?" She suggested politely.

"Yes Sister."Hermione's eyes were glassy. She came for guidance and she could trust Sister Mary Josephine.

"My dear, you look positively shaken. What is troubling you, child?"

She could barely articulate the situation under the circumstances. "I have an important decision to make,"Snape heard her whisper in cautious tones. 

_What on earth was bothering her?_

"I don't know what to do," she explained in desperation. "If I make one choice, I follow the teachings of the church. But if I make the other choice, I may be safer. How can the immoral choice be a good one?" 

Snape stiffened at her cryptic explanation. _How much did she know?_

Sister Mary considered her in the most affectionate and loving way. She did exude peace through her fingertips. She patted the girl's clasped fingers. "My dear, you must have faith. The right decision will come to you. It will. You seem confused, hmm? Prayer will give you comfort and guidance. You need a longer period of time to think on this. May I suggest the Prayer of St. Thomas Aquinas?"

"Yes. Thank you, Sister Mary. I will." It wasn't quite the answer she was expecting, but she felt much better than she had before entering the service.

Go on child, all will be well. Peace be with you.

Hermione walked the familiar path to the rear of the chapel and drifted out of Snape's sight. Seeing where she was headed and that it was empty, he only moved slightly for a better glance.

Hermione knelt in front of the Pricket stand and said the rosary, lighting the votives one by one as she customarily did. _Lily Potter, James Potter, Sirius Black, Cedric Diggory, Grandma MeMe … _And she lit one for her friends and Albus Dumbledore. 

Pausing a moment, she lit one for Pansy Parkinson as well—she needed her prayers. Lastly, she lit one for Professor Snape, spy against the Dark Lord. 

Hermione looked at the blaze of candles and swallowed hard_. What had this looked like during wartime_? She imagined a sea of votives and women pouring in to pray for those going off to fight. 

_How many more candles would she light this year? Would someone be lighting one for her?_

She searched her mind for Sister Mary's recommendation and began:

_Thank you, Holy Lord….not for any merit of mine, but only because of your merciful goodness. …may bring about my pardon and salvation, encompassing me with the armor of faith and the shield of a good will. _

_By it let my vices be done away, all lustful desires extinguished. _

The tears rolled down her face as she continued the prayer.

_May it advance me in charity, patience, humility, obedience, and every other virtue._

_ Let it be strong defense against the wiles of all my enemies, visible and invisible, allaying for me every disturbance of flesh and spirit, binding me firmly to you, the one true God, and bringing my last hour to a happy close. _

She was almost shaking now as her voice faltered on the words…_ Let it be a strong defense against the wiles of my enemies… bringing my last hour to a happy close._

Snape felt like he was intruding even on her prescribed prayers, a deeply personal journey. He regretted the invasion of her private pleas, and heard her weeping. He had to protect her from this. The spy shook his head in frustration. _How?_

_I pray, too, that it may be your pleasure to call my sinful self one day to that banquet, wonderful past all telling, where you, with your Son and the Holy Spirit, feast your saints with the vision of yourself, who are true light, the fulfillment of all desires, the joy that knows no ending, gladness unalloyed, and perfect bliss: through the same Christ our Lord. Amen.___

Sister Mary entered behind her as Hermione rose. The young girl retreated to the comfort of her welcoming arms and cried into her shoulder. 

"There, there, dear. All will be well. God will find a way."

Hermione dried her eyes and returned to Remus. He graciously did not inquire about her crying, but kindly escorted her home. 

Sister Mary watched the retreating form of the sweet girl. 

She will do well. She'll make the right choice.

Author's Notes:

I reloaded the chapter. I really should proofread when I'm not tired. Thank you for your patience.

Following in the patterns of Hermione, I have had several nights with only three hours of sleep. I took the day off today so I could catch up, and also write more fan fiction !

Thank you so much for the kind reviews! As always I appreciate criticism, even flames… if they are laced with the hidden message of a helpful suggestion.

Magictwinkle: Thank you! I hope not to disappoint. Hope you're still on-line cuz here is the next chapter.

Jade: Poor Pansy. She is in deep shit. We will help her. I thought about having her at church today, but nah. Time there is to save her later. 

HarryPotterFreak1234: Yeah there will be potions and spells, but I haven't made them up yet. Snape's gotta figure out something. He has a dilemma. I like saying the word dilemma.

SnapeLover30: Yeah! That album rocks.

Lyress: Sorry about your day, that's why I took the day off. I'd love to have someone to me a cover just so I could hang it. I love that lecture. Especially when Alan Rickman is reciting it.

witch lisa: Thank you! 

Ezmerelda_:_ Cynical is good. Mrs. Black ain't all sweet and light. I have one more plot bunny for her.

steph2bwld: Steph… by the way your name is my name too… you are correct on both counts. I'm glad I've hooked you, it will definitely wind up on that boat. I'm glad you like The Burden of Sight. That storyline involving Hermione's heritage has been in my head for twenty years. I just tweaked it for the purposes of Potterdom.

Three AM: Wow! You think so? If you wanna read an amazingly written fic, I love Cloak of Courage, by wendynat. Go check it out. Awesome. 

Nore: Cool, you're from Madrid? I swear the www is so neat. How else could our fan fiction friends around the globe unite?! BTW, Texas here- Houston. I love you too.

Marie falcon: Thank you. I love Hermione's character. A nice role model don't you think? She's the hard worker in school that I never was. This fic is all about girl power. I can't wait for her fall term to start. Yes, hg/ss is my favorite ship, or rather Snape's character is too captivating for me to put down. And I could write slash, though I haven't yet.

Azulkan2: Thank you. I've been visiting a lot of calligraphy web sites for terminology and stuff. It's a beautiful pastime which I think is beyond my ability to produce.

xmaverick14x: Sorry… here it is! Only a little cliffie this time. 

Ahiwai: Yes, it is a romance, though it'll take some time to get there. Thank you for seeing my oversight. The Boy Who Lived indeed does have black hair. I will reload it. Stupid filmers should've dyed it. And before you ask, books ALWAYS come before movies for me. They are infinitely more important.


	7. Swiss Snowing Village

Disclaimer: All belongs to Rowling. Can't wait for June to get here. Please Ms. Rowling bring on Book Six!

Chapter 7: Swiss Snowing Village 

Hermione had to work hard in sneaking opportunities to complete Snape's book by her self-assigned deadline. She really did want it to only take three weeks, even though he'd given her more time. Harry had almost caught her once, but she scrambled to the door in the nick of time, offering the similar excuse of a state of undress.

She was happy for his company and she often played chess with him, even though it was more of Ron's talent than her own. She felt her mind drift, and Harry had asked her more than once if she was okay, or what was bothering her. 

She waved his concern off, steering the conversation elsewhere. She smiled at his nervous talk about how to court Ginny.

Ginny was not an easy target. She swooned for Harry once before, but she had a streak in her as fiery as her red hair. Hermione knew she wouldn't make it easy for him the second time around, even though she loved him. 

It was going to be fun to watch.

Hermione finished the work on the book finally and wrapped it, a bit sad that her job had ended. She was meticulous about it, and her thoughts lingered on the man she had spent more time seeing than she had any others during the summer. At the last minute, she remembered her promise, and ordered a certain set of items by mail order.

The highlight of her week was that Molly invited everyone to the Burrow, and Hermione got a chance to pile around the kitchen table with all of her friends, the Weasley family, Remus, and Tonks. 

As a surprise, Crookshanks greeted her at the door and Hermione clutched the ginger, wild-haired, half-Kneazle to her chest, the only family she had at the party. Crookshanks had obviously had enough of vacationing with her parents. 

All Albus Dumbledore said was that he seemed to "outgrow" his surroundings and that he'd "managed to sort everything out." Whatever that meant.

Snape had come in, and for just a brief moment Hermione's heart leapt, anticipating he might stay for supper. There was an available seat next to her. But the urgent look on his face and his business like manner sucked that hope from the air as he beckoned Remus to join him on an 'errand'.

She hated feeling in such a melancholy state, and Hermione blinked back overwhelmed tears as she saw the people surrounding the dinner table, laughing and talking, as if everything were okay— no Dark Lord on the move, no war being fought. A picture of the candles she had lit flashed before her eyes and it undid her. Molly murmured something she couldn't hear and she quickly excused herself from the table, going outside to get some fresh air.

Hermione leaned against the fence, Mrs. Weasley quickly behind her.

"Dear? What's wrong? You've looked positively glum all evening."

Her tears flowed and she turned to confide in a woman she respected. "Is… everything… going to be… okay?"She asked in shuddered gasps.

Molly started tearing at that too, and held her close. "Oh dear." She didn't say anything for a moment. Hermione was getting too old for cheerful bedtime stories with happy endings. Molly settled for the truth. "I don't know, dear. I don't know."

"I see all of us eating together and sometimes I just feel like it might be the _last time_, you know?" She sniffed. "So many of your own friends died during the war the first time You-Know-You came to power. I'd be foolish to believe that it won't be happening again to all of us," she cried. "I'm so worried. I know you know something, so don't try to deny it. And I _hate_ being in the dark. Tell me, are Ginny and I in some kind of trouble?"

Molly sat with Hermione on a small wooden bench and held her at arms length. "I can't tell you everything, though I know you think it would give you piece of mind to know details. But I can assure you that Dumbledore and Remus and Snape would _never_ allow any harm to come to you. The Order members are all working to resolve this."

Hermione felt only mildly better, but felt pretty confident she could come to Molly Weasley with anything that was bothering her. She was a mother to the core, but also secretly modern in some ways. Molly didn't take any lip. She was a leader in the Order. It was clear she ran her house, and her husband loved and respected her. She made do with little and didn't complain. Molly Weasley had a healthy sense of gratitude about her. She was blessed with the wealth of family love. Hermione admired all of that.

Back at Headquarters, she lay back on her bed and waited, for what she had no earthly clue. She was spacing out and daydreaming frequently. _His dark robes, he smelled of spices… he left that familiar scent behind. _She would often sit in her favorite chair where he left it, inhaling deeply, filling her thoughts with memories of his classroom, his face— shiny black hair hanging in front of his concentration filled features as he brewed.

He had ignored her for the most part, and she, foolish girl— was avoiding his eyes to a peculiar degree since their trip to Diagon Alley.

_God, he was so much older! At least twenty years. How was it that she found him so incredibly… attractive? _Her mind strayed to forbidden thoughts and her blood raced again, her hands restless for something to do.__

She thought on his graceful maneuvers around the classroom, observing students, brewing his own potions sometimes at the front workstation, his practiced fingers scarred by the love of his work. He tossed in ingredients with confidence, measuring each with precision. He seemed either intense or at absolute peace when working. She saw such a range of emotion in his eyes when he did that. _Good grief, how long had it been? How long had she noticed him, saw him… that way?_

She felt a stirring somewhere low and shifted on the bed. She covered her eyes with her hands and decided to go downstairs. _No more locking yourself up here._ Using Hedwig, she sent a note to Katie Renou. It was benign enough. No names.

She bought her ink and quills with her to the study. She had all day to herself. Ron and Harry had gone to a Chudley Cannons Quidditch game. She needed an outlet.

She sat at the desk provided and began to write.

_I hate to love him_

_The exquisite torture of unrequited love_

_His voice and manner_

_Haunt my dreams_

In both sun and shadow…

She wrote out everything, all of her hopes and fears, weaving her concerns through desperate poetry. These feelings she could never share with anyone. Feverishly, she poured her heart out on the page. Her fingers flew as her mind drew conclusions about what would happen if she pursued her desires. It would be a dangerous mistake. With horrible consequences. She was nearly in tears as she finished.

How would she make it? She heard the opening of a door and had to hide this, quickly. She blew on the ink and slipped it between the pages of a book of equal size.

She quickly took out another sheet and began a new letter to her parents. Dear Mum and Dad…

It was him. 

"Good evening, Miss Granger." The tall figure of her preoccupation stood between the sliding doors.

"Good evening, Professor." Severus.

There was little place to sit in the smallish room, so Hermione gathered her things to move to the kitchen.

"You don't have to go," he said in his buttery tones. He was used to it. He often drove away students.

You don't have to go… "No, that's fine. You need space to read, and I can do this in the other room."Sigh.

Good, now I have my favorite chair back. And Snape sat down to read.

Dear Mum and Dad,

I got your last letter and I am so glad to hear that your vacation is going so well.

I can't believe you said it's snowing! It's the middle of the summer! Does it ever stop? Sounds like Dumbledore put you in quite a place! Did you say it was a cabin? Did he enchant it for you, or magic certain items for you? I can't imagine.

Thanks for sending Crookshanks along, I'm sure he was driving you crazy! Dumbledore mentioned something a bit mysterious. I hope nothing too weird came up with Crooks. But the professor did say he "sorted it out."

I miss you a lot, and it means more to me than you can know that you are safe and well. I am alright here, a little cooped up but I'll manage. Harry moved in too, and he's keeping me company.

Hey, I've had a lot on my mind lately and I wonder if you could keep me in your prayers. There's a lot going on I don't fully understand. I am trying to have faith that it will all work out.

Much love,

Hermione

Dumbledore received the letter from Pig and shrank it to the size of a penny. Then he dropped it under the cork stopper of the glass Swiss snowing village on his desk.

It swirled through the air and through the mail slot of the Grangers hideaway in the snowy woods filled with perfect rows of evergreen Blue Spruce Christmas trees. There wasn't anyone around for miles. Or maybe inches.

"Honey! Another letter from Hermione just slipped through the door! Come see!"

"Wendy, how does he do that?" Mr. Granger scratched his head.

"Magic, dear."

Snape reached for a book on the shelf when he spotted the sonnets again. He selected it instead and opened to the first page he saw, sinking his lean body into the comfortable leather chair, with which his frequent visits— retained the memory of his familiar impression.

Hmm… this is not Shakespeare… he read on, captivated by the obvious anguish of the woman who wrote it.

_I hate to love him_

_The exquisite torture of unrequited love_

_His voice and manner_

_Haunt my dreams_

_In both sun and shadow._

_What once stood here_

_In these shoes_

_Is now a hopeless fool_

_An utterly ruined woman_

_Pining for the love of a man _

_she cannot possess._

_Who was the fool who said_

_'Love conquers all?'_

_Love has damned me forever._

_The strains of her heart_

_Incapacitate her_

_Yet her body drones on_

_Going through the motions_

_Of shallow existence._

_As she walks_

_With the this painful secret_

_Etched upon her breast_

_She feels the naked truth of love_

_Press upon her_

_Embarrassingly visible on her face._

_They do not suspect_

_But friends comfort her_

_Making cruelly kind inquiries _

_About her supposed affliction._

_Is it wrong_

_For her to care for_

_A man she cannot fully know?_

_How can she love him?_

_She aids him in secret—_

_Carefully concealing all subtle gestures_

_Of affection for him._

_Ah, but his eyes radiate with such an intensity_

_Of passion and knowledge_

_She avoids even fleeting glances_

_If he were to look on her_

_Would he know?_

_If he found her—_

_If he truly saw her as she is _

_Would he honor her_

_With conversation and companionship?_

_It is sad_

_That she knows him not_

_The distance is cruel _

_And yet mere space or distance_

_Cannot communicate the secrets of _

_A private man._

_He lets no one near_

_So alone—_

_She herself can appreciate_

_The pangs of lonely solitude._

_He is in the dark_

_And so is she._

_With him alone_

_She has been most honest_

_Though there has been a recent omission,_

_Can he forgive her?_

_Will he understand?_

_All for love,_

_All for protection—_

_She hopes he will pardon_

_Her brief but significant deception._

_If she should volunteer the truth of her affection_

_Rejection would be swift and severe,_

_Knocking the breath from her lips,_

_Bruising her fragile heart_

_Even with the kindest of words._

_Afraid as she is of him knowing_

_'Tis more painful still— _

_him not knowing._

_If he should acknowledge her_

_In some brief way—_

_If love could be returned,_

_She would weep for joy of it._

_Love has made her a coward._

_She will never tell of it,_

_will not speak his name_

_Except in the innocuous_

_Clandestine tones_

_Of everyday happenings,_

_No one the wiser._

_She shall guard against_

_Invasion of this sacred knowledge_

_As if the mention of it_

_Were a dagger that could end his life_

_If his name were spoken aloud._

_On pain of death_

_No one will know,_

_Gladly accepting an Unforgivable_

_In place of the unforgivable betrayal_

Of his identity.

_My God_

_I hope he will rescue me_

_The futile yearnings of my heart_

_Might destroy me utterly_

_If I never share it._

He looked at the page, he hadn't noticed it before, and it was wedged deeply between pages, seeming a part of the book. It was penned in a handsome cursive script. It looked almost printed, though clearly it was an original. There was no signature identifying the author. Obviously written by a witch or wizard. Not many creative writings were available by the wizarding community… He read it again. 

Love doesn't conquer all… don't wait to be rescued, he thought— and closed the book.

Snape sat at his desk, abandoning his recent efforts to locate information on dark spells, however briefly, in order to prepare for the upcoming school year. He had a promising seventh year student, but his interest in a senior project sadly lay elsewhere. He expected Mr. Boot would choose Transfiguration over Potions. Another point to Minerva. 

He was trying to formulate a way to work in Granger on a project of some sort. That normally wouldn't be permitted in her sixth year. But she was older now, and an exception had been made in only her third year at the school when she'd used a time-turner to take a heavier course load. She had performed adequately. She was becoming less annoying lately, even with the frequency with which he had seen her. The know-it-all had grown up when he wasn't looking. She would make a fine potions mistress. If Minerva didn't hold supreme influence over her. 

Hermione wasn't one to pick favorites, he noticed. If she had to pick a subject, she would select 'all' as her choice. Nothing was off limits. Except perhaps Divination. Trelawney had still not let that one go. Minerva was pleased as pumpkin juice when Hermione summarily dismissed the professor of fluff, walking out in front of the entire class. It was the stuff of legend in the teacher's lounge. 

A familiar tawny owl swooped in his open window (he had to air it out since he had accidentally dropped a vile of sulfur…pheww.) The bird nearly shrank back from the force of smell. "I know, I'm sorry. It couldn't be helped," he told the bird. He was carrying a small box, on the top of which read 'enlarge me.'

"Engorgio," he chanted and presto! The box was two feet deep and two feet long. It was finished!

Buckwheat waited as usual. Snape opened the box and pulled out the enclosed letter.

Dear Artist, Author, Scientist, Scholar:

It has been my pleasure to complete this for you. If you find everything satisfactory, I do hope you'll consider using my services again sometime.

As promised, please find enclosed those items that piqued your curiosity. I hope the variety will keep you stocked for some time as I am sure you have as much occasion as I do, to mark your places, or leave little reminders for yourself through various texts and whatnot.

Many thanks and best wishes for excellent success in the publication of your book.

He pulled out the manuscript and looked through it in a familiar way. He didn't know if he'd keep it or give it as a gift to someone else. Underneath the volume was a smaller flat box. 

Well I'll be damned. 

When he opened it, Snape found every conceivable size of post-it, in multiple colors and widths, both translucent and opaque. He knew they were post-its, because the plastic coverings held the label— "Post-It Notes." Some were ruled with lines. Snape hadn't seen that in a while. These were obviously a Muggle invention. Clever. 

He fitted Buckwheat's leg with a letter and the remaining fee. He thought about a proper thank you, and knew how many countless hours must have been spent on something Snape had produced. He decided to pass along a gift. He wrapped it up and sent the package on its way onto an unknown destination.

Snape opened a bottle of Ogden's and poured himself a glass. He knew this would be published before Winter break. Cheers.

Hermione woke up Sunday morning with a need to see the Cathedral windows. The light of the morning sun was so beautiful shining through the spectrum of colored glass, casting vibrant shadows along the stone entrance. It cheered her to see such a thing. She used to sit on the rear benches as a young girl and stare at the light dancing on the wide foyer.

She entered with Remus, who accustomed to the feeling of the place, gave Hermione more room, but she instead beckoned him to sit with her, like family. He was touched by her gesture, and saw other families seated closely together. It was something he wanted and his magical family was almost all he had left. She sang the responses and listened raptly during the homily, sometimes closing her eyes in contemplation of the Gospel. Hermione was a charming soul.

Hermione left him behind again while she greeted Sister Mary, and Snape heard her thank the kind clergywoman for her guidance and faith. She took off her jacket, as the cathedral was getting rather warm with windows letting in the summer sun. 

Oh no, he thought. The listening device… Oh well, she's going to pray anyway. At least she'll finally have some privacy. But Snape quickly felt himself surprised that he actually missed her peaceful words of worship.

Then someone walked in past the rear and knelt down beside Hermione. It was a woman, and Snape tried to calm himself. This is a church and people come here to pray, he told himself. Surely Hermione isn't the only person who comes to light candles and pray.

Then the young woman leaned over and whispered.

Snape sat up. Prayer was a private thing. This was a bit unusual. The two women got up and left through the side door of the sanctuary, toward the educational wing. Quickly Snape was taking his long strides in pursuit of some line of sight. Hermione's jacket was still hanging over the front pew.

"My dear Professor Snape, so glad to see you again. If you continue to return to mass, I shall surely invite you to our catechism class," Sister Mary welcomed him with a sly smile. She was blocking the corridor to the back, but only subtly.

"Sister Barrone, good to see you as well," he said looking past her. "I'm sorry, did you say catechism?"

"Yes, it's the class that persons take before they make their confession of faith. Before they get baptized into the Catholic faith, Professor Snape." She lectured.

"Oh no, Sister… I'm not…" And the banter began. Snape hadn't even realized how it started, how easy it had been for her to lead him to this point.

Sister Barrone had an innocent way about her, but she was not innocent. Yet in her wise elder years, she would be someone Snape could not cross. Like Dumbledore, she was also able to steer people from the most awkward situations into something more peaceful and tranquil. Was that some magic taught at the convent?

Snape remembered her timing after the concert with Hermione's parents, giving them an out— all the while inviting everyone to mass. It was a genuine invitation too, he was sure of it. Sister Mary Josephine Barrone was also like the old man in that she knew many things, that she kept hidden, locked away in some secret part of her. She appeared sure of herself, but not proud. She was humble, but powerful. Snape liked her...

But she was in his way.

The two women had escaped to a small changing room decorated in roses and cream tones, and in the corner stood a long curtain rod. It was usually reserved for brides.

"Pansy! I hardly expected to see you here!" Hermione exclaimed in hushed tones.

"Sister Mary mentioned you were coming to church here and I decided to come. I told my parents that we had a lesson after church. I only have a little bit."

"I've been so worried about you after what you told me at the club," Hermione admitted.

"Why were you there? After you left, I saw Mr. Malfoy chase after you in a hurry."

"He didn't find out it was me, did he?" Hermione asked urgently.

"No, I don't think so. But he didn't come back either."Pansy's brow furrowed.

"I'm sorry about your predicament, Pansy. Your dad hasn't tried anything yet has he? Do you know when it might happen?"

Pansy eyes flashed angrily, a bit burned by her comment. 'Predicament… your dad hasn't tried anything has he?'Ooooh! Pansy swallowed her irritation and responded. 

"No, he hasn't said. Mom seemed to indicate that it wouldn't happen over the summer. And since I've been arguing so much with Dad," she said his title with contempt, "Mom is letting me live with my Aunt."

"That's a relief. Hey Pansy, if you promise not to ask how I found out… I think I can say that You-Know-You isn't just after you." Hermione confided.

"What are you saying?"

"I think he's trying to get a whole bunch of virgins for some kind of… well, something."

"How can you be so sure?" Pansy looked skeptical.

"I'm sure. And it's bad, Pansy. It's all I've been thinking about since that night. I 've been doing some reading…"

"So what else is new?"teased Pansy. Know-it-all Gryffindor.

Grrr … "I've been trying to read up on magic having to do with virgins, but didn't come up with much dark magic. I also bought a book on the power of women and it looks promising. When we get back to school, I can do more. There's another book there that had some interesting stuff in it." She sighed. "We need to figure out a way out."

"Well, all we have to do is get shagged and it's ruined right?" Pansy offered the crude but obvious solution.

"I guess, but I wish there was some other way. The thing is, since he needs a whole bunch of us, we need to get a group of us together to blow it for him."

"How exactly are you planning to pull that off?" Pansy volleyed. Pass the buck.

"You mean we. Please say you'll help."

Pansy sighed a huff, rolled her eyes and slouched. 

"Oh come on! Who's the Slytherin in this room anyway?! You're telling me you'd rather endorse those barbaric rituals with your silence than stand up and fight?"Hermione challenged.

Pansy's eyes narrowed, arms crossed in defiance. "Oh, alright. How do we do this? I can't send messages to you, that'd be suspicious."

"Me neither. Let's start by making a list of all of the girls in school and checking off the ones we know have had relations."

"Relations? Is that what you call it? Sex, Hermione. It's called sex."

Hermione for some reason didn't fancy herself saying the word sex in a house of God.

"Alright, what else?" Hermione posed.

"Hmmm… I guess we can think of a place we should meet, or actually… how do we know we can trust that any of the prospective members will keep our secret?" Pansy inquired cautiously.

"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it, okay? Let's start with the list. I'll keep compiling data on the uses of virgins and virgin's blood… that way we have somewhere to start."

"And where should we meet? It'll look weird if I'm seen talking to you. No offense."

"None taken," Hermione said a bit formally. "I have a place in mind already, no one will bother us th… Oops, gotta go. Someone's coming."

"Hey Hermione?" The Gryffindor's head turned. "I'm sorry about biting your head off after the concert when you asked about Malfoy. Looks like you had a right to be concerned." Pansy looked after her apologetically.

Hermione smiled weakly and nodded. She left to return to Remus who was standing with her coat next to Sister Mary.

Parkinson could hardly believe that she was talking to a Mudblood like an equal. 

Granger couldn't believe she was actually considering trusting a Slytherin with a responsibility this important.

Gryffindor or Slytherin. It didn't matter. 

Woman to woman. Sisterhood. 

That was the only connection needed to help them forge an alliance.

Author's Notes:

Okay, by popular demand Pansy is here— two chapters early! I was going to title this chapter "Unlikely Partner" but I decided to keep you in suspense. You suggest, I write. That's how it works. What can I say? I'm a slave.

BTW, the Swiss Snowing Village was an idea I got from True Lies. Harry Trask (Arnold Schwarznegger) gives his daughter this lame gift when he returns from a spy mission. I was going to stick them in a bottle like 'I Dream of Jeannie' but liked this idea better. I can imagine the plastic snowflakes swirling… I love it that they are seated on top of Dumbledore's desk! Reminds me of the Truman Show. Could you see Ed Harris as Dumbledore? Hahahaha!

I am going to have to slow down my pace. My husband left the country for three weeks and he returns Sunday. So that means no more nights up until 4 am writing fan fiction. Ahhh… but I will get more sleep. Thanks to all reviewers. Especially about the constructive feedback!

The Perfectionist: Thank you for your review. I reloaded 5 but will proof it again for the errors you mentioned. And since you feel Ginny is OOC, please make recommendations on how to improve it. (Beside not matching her up with Harry… I know that's over… but game it's game on for them in this fic.) I so welcome your recommendations. I need more intel on the red head.

HarryPotterFreak1234: Relax, I'm getting there! I'd shoot Snape myself if he'd try anything at this point.

Maxy baby! I got your Pansy right here. Here you go! I decided not to make you wait! And I don't think I've read Roman Holiday, can you send me the info on rating, characters, author… something to help me narrow down my search? Is it complete? Thanks!

Celtic Words: Thank you very much! As long as you keep reviewing I'll keep writing!

SimplyScribbling: Thank you, thank you. I'm so glad you've stuck with both. I am especially proud of the first fic. Even though it's a bit more fanciful than the book might permit… (ya think?)

Lyress: Thank you. I hope this chapter came soon enough. When I first began the fic, I hadn't intended Hermione's faith to play such an important role. But it helped the plot. I am wondering if somehow this isn't some subconscious desire for me to return to my church. I used to be so active. Hmmm…

Magictwinkle: Thank you, thank you!

Alicat999: Thanks for looking into that for me. I've looked on line, but you know how that goes. I could get it wrong anyway. Australia… cool beans!

Kukla: Thank you. I came upon that prayer on line, as I was looking for info on the rosary. Then the words leapt out at me. It seemed so appropo for this work. Poor Hermione has a lot on her mind.

Queen-aerinha: hey there! Thanks for your feedback. Enh…I know it was pretty ambitious deadline… no way in the real world. But you were correct in observing that I needed to have her finish inside of the summer. Hermione is a mad woman when it comes to work. But calligraphy you can't rush. I'm a quilter and when one of my friends asked me if I could finish a quilt in a month or two, I laughed her right out. Sorry I didn't explain why the portkey got put there in the first place… that would've been a good bit. J

Ezmerelda:  Thank you, honorary beta! I immediately corrected the chapter and reloaded it. Thank you for pointing it out, and "its/it's" out to me. Ugh. I really should wait a few hours and return to a work I've been writing to proofread it again before posting. Thanks.

GeekGoddess: Thank you. I sometimes have a hard time making Snape a complete bastard. You know he really is just horrible. S'why I love him! What I imagine is that he's a bit more normal (did I say normal? I meant to say tolerant and tolerable) during the summer, without the pressure of those mangy kids all damn day. Cause when school's back in session… watch out! I see him as a poorly misunderstood man, who goes out of his way to be misunderstood, not correcting anyone's assumptions. He knows all to well how nasty Voldemort can be, and while he won't defend the students from each other (he'll certainly let them devour themselves… fewer students to teach), he won't see them come to harm outside the school if he can help it. Just my two cents. J


	8. The Power of Women

Disclaimer: All in the Harry Potter kingdom belongs to Rowling (all rise) and not fans (you may be seated).

**Chapter Eight: The Power of Women**

In the late evening hours, Hermione was greeted by Buckwheat and she feared this might be the last contact she'd have for the summer with him. He swooped in near midnight, after everyone was asleep, and just after Remus had departed. She wondered how long he'd been waiting in the shadows before he could skulk in secretively to make his drop. This time she'd expected a letter and a pouch. Instead, a package was dangling from the owl's clawed grasp.

She made a face and smiled, a bit curious as to what Ms. Renou or Severus (nah— still didn't sound right) had sent her. She opened the letter and read it.

----

'Dear Artist:

I thank you again for your swift and professional work. 

I think this should be a cause for celebration, and while our paths may never cross in public, I wanted to send you this in appreciation of your hard efforts.

Congratulations on a job well done.'

----

This time she trusted the pouch was accurate and tucked it in her trunk.

In the box Hermione pulled out a bottle of Ogden's Firewhiskey, wrapped in green cellophane and a small silver sash. 'Way to keep clues about your anonymity a secret Snape!'

She shook her head and laughed. It was time for a small celebratory drink. 'Couldn't hurt, could it?' 

' Two months isolated in this room penning a work for someone who would never know, planning to foil the Dark lord in God knows what manner… Yeah. A drink is definitely in order.'

Hermione cleaned a leftover glass in her sink and wiped it out. She opened the bottle carefully and … 'Phew! The fumes! Good grief! You could clean cauldrons with that! And Neville's cauldrons at that!'

She poured an inch and stopped. She figured that would be quite enough to knock her on her bum. She sipped carefully, imagining she was sharing a nightcap with Snape… and choked… magnificently. After the hacking stopped, her eyes watering, nose smarting a bit.... she could feel the vapor action… she took small sips of the whiskey and ended up with the same result. A coughing, hacking fit.

She was sure Madam Rosmerta would shoot her for doing what she was about to, but maybe her parents were onto something with mixed drinks. She crept silently downstairs to retrieve ice and cold water. When she snuck back upstairs, she tiptoed past Harry's bedroom, slipping silently into her own door. 

She poured in the remaining Ogden's from her previous glass and gratefully had a much more tolerable drinking experience with no less alcohol for it. It was 'okay'. She felt glad she couldn't fully appreciate the qualities of the seriously intoxicating nature of Ogden's 150-year-old Firewhiskey. She wondered if it would be any better with tonic water and a lime or 7-Up. 'That's how Granddad used to take his.'

She woke up in a fog, but not hung over. She had squirreled away the Ogden's for some future use. 'Something industrial.' She pulled out her calligraphy supplies to practice her writing and prepared the ink to get started. Hermione must have still been a bit tired because she found herself nodding off. She needed coffee. 'Thank you again Harry, thank you, thank you. Cinnamon hazelnut here I come.'

She put away her nibs and quills, the ink and the paper— but something didn't quite look right. Her mind wasn't working properly after just waking up. She shook the cobwebs from her head as she opened her bedroom door. Then it dawned on her. 

"Crookshanks no! Bad kitty!" 'Oh no…' Ink was everywhere. That stupid Kneazle-cat had gone and stuck it's paw in ink and looked at his paw (she could see it now… he did the same thing with the water in his bowl) and now was sashaying through the entire house with an advertisement for future business. 'Damn it Crooks! Come back here!'

Crookshanks had a reputation for intelligence, being part-Kneazle, but the animal responsible for sniffing out Wormtail was definitely identifying with his cat heritage today. Usually at 5 a.m. he would go crazy and zing about her room, ruffling papers and generally making a nuisance of himself until he got some attention. Today, she had no such luck.

Hermione was too late and too slow to catch him. Crookshanks had tracked black inky paw prints all over her bedroom and down the stairs like some rubber stamped madness. 'Oh gosh, gouache. Would it never end?' So many footprints everywhere left her only able to speculate as to his whereabouts. Tracks went in all directions. 

She prayed Molly was downstairs, or even Remus… 'But please, oh please, let it not be…'

"Miss Granger? Are you looking for a cat?" Snape said this in clipped tones and she found herself trapped in some horrible nightmare. Suddenly she was back in class, wearing pajamas in place of school robes and any moment she would look up to see herself naked during a test she hadn't studied for.

Oh crap.

"Um, yes sir." 'Crookshanks, I'm going to kill you.'

"I believe your offensive animal is lurking underneath that sofa."

"Thank you, sir."

Snape thought she looked a bit amusing, on the floor, in as much of a stalking position as that feline menace. Hermione was on her hands and knees using cat tactics in a human body to catch the elusive animal. If only Minerva were here.

She looked under the couch as modestly as she could, but there was no ladylike way to do it. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty…." Her own eyes met gold narrow ones and the ginger demon darted out, leaving a mess of fur and grayish paw prints in his wake. Her eyes followed the trail he left and…

'Oh no. You didn't.'

Crookshanks, like many cats, did not necessarily find himself taking the direct route. Or even a route that requires use of a floor or other flat surface. When Crookshanks ran, his limbs peeled out in a flurry of tire-screeching, tail-waving, rubber-burning motion and everything in his wake felt it. And Snape had been in his wake.

Hermione willed herself not to giggle. But she couldn't stop herself. This was getting too stupid. She noticed the remains of black paw prints left on Snape's robes toward the hem. She laughed and he was startled, then annoyed at her behavior. 

She fell in a fit of giggles on the floor and pointed at the edge of his cloak, no words to express what was so funny. It was black on black, but she could still see it. 'At least it would blend in.' She couldn't stop laughing. 

'And he couldn't take points.' She laughed even harder, clutching her side.

She needed this.

"Are you quite through?" Snape hissed through clenched teeth.

Hermione finally simmered down and let out a few 'hoos' as she tried to catch her breath.

She had managed to finally capture Crookshanks' interest with her spell of sniggering. She scooped up her cat holding the guilty blackened paws up with her right hand, cradling the body of the wriggling monster with her left, and whisked him upstairs to wash his feet.

Ink and cats do not go together. She had the scratches to prove it.

--------------------------

The remainder of the summer flew by with frequent visits by Ron and Ginny. She was permitted to attend a few more church services, once it had been deemed safe for her to go.

Hermione also spent a good deal of time reading her relatively new book. She found herself surprised she hadn't picked it up earlier after paying so much for it.

'The power of women is so often mentioned in modern society, but only in the sense of equality for women and other feminist statements. What has been lost is the knowledge of what to do with our innate natural feminine magics. 

We, my sisters, have lost our stories.

The Muggle world lost a great deal with the advent of sterile bottles and formula in place of breastfeeding. They sadly turned to the belief that sterile was better and shortly lost their knowledge, so often passed from mother to daughter about one of the finest gifts a mother could give her child. Only in the last generation is the non-magical community struggling to regain the ground they lost in the benefits of breastfeeding. And they lost it because they stopped telling their stories. They lost their power.

That's how women have passed along knowledge for centuries, through the sacred voices of intelligent women, mother to daughter, friend to friend. Secrets told through everyday life, instead of waiting for that opportune moment. And like the Muggles, we have done the same thing. 

When did we stop telling our stories? When did we lose our power?

Historically, especially in prominent pure-blooded wizarding families, many wizards kept their wives under their thumbs, ruling each piece of information which came into their household. Women weren't permitted to work outside the home, and social contacts were limited and carefully scrutinized. Female mysticism was feared greatly and men were afraid. I might add, appropriately so. This was a concept with oddly seemed to carry over from the Muggle community during the Great War. It is a shame that even then most of us did not know our collective strength. The power of women.'

Hermione took a deep breath and knew at the very least she would feel very empowered by a book whose introduction so far had not offered any hints qualifying or quantifying the magic of women.

The Power of Childbirth…

Hermione read quickly, not seeing things that interested her terribly. She was surprised to see quite a few interesting homeopathic healing remedies for post-partum women. Little known techniques also lost over time, modern medicine had shifted responsibility for birthing from midwifes to educated medi-wizards. In the beginning she read, those physicians were almost always men. 

Hermione felt a pang of sadness as a young woman, accepting in her heart what had been lost. And she thought again about what she would have to lose. To keep her safe. 

'There has to be another way.'

She read on until sleep overtook her and was wakened by the sound of Harry at her door.

"Are you still alive?" He teased playfully, pushing open the door.

Hermione pulled herself up to lean against the headboard, book still open against her chest, with matted bed-hair as a crown.

Harry laughed. She looked at him strangely, then caught her reflection in the mirror and frowned.

"HEY!" She chastised, and threw her heavy feather pillow at him and it hit it's mark with a satisfying 'ow!' He laughed and stopped his teasing immediately.

As she gathered herself together straightening her clothes and coverlet, he wandered over to the book she'd been reading. 

"What's this?" He cocked his head to one side, skimming the lines.

"Um… The Power of Women… feminist stuff."

Hermione went to the mirror to recover her hair from its mangled state by twisting it tightly on the back of her head. Harry looked up from her rather mature reading choice, and seemed to size her up, watching her preen a bit, surprising her with his next comment.

"You're really beautiful Hermione, you know that?" Harry observed as if seeing her for the first time. She looked so much older than they did.

She spun on her heel, "I beg your pardon?"

"I mean, do you have any interests other than books? I can't believe you're not dating… I mean, are you dating? I mean, since Victor…"

This was about a bizarre a discussion as she could ever imagine having with her long-term friend-boy.

"Umm… no. I guess I've just not found anyone," my age, "…worth taking an interest in." 'Harry, you'd kill me if I told who interested me.'

"That's a shame. You know, Ron…" he suggested.

"Yeah, I know Harry. It totally wouldn't work. We decided that already." She sighed.

"Well, it's not NEWTs year, y'know,? And I think you should get out more, instead of holing yourself up in the library all the time." He said seriously.

"I can't believe you are lecturing me about recreation. It's not exactly like you have such a light load on your shoulders." She regretted her comment as soon as it left her lips. Harry never forgot, and it was unkind of her to remind him. 

"Hermione it's 'the summer' and almost all I've seen you do is work from behind that closed door," he pointed. "It's unnatural."

"What do you suggest?"

"I thought you'd never ask!" He exclaimed, and Hermione knew he was up to something. The rest of his words came in an excited flurry, and he was begging her to come too. "Remus told me he'd take us to the Hogwarts Quidditch pitch for practice! Ron and Ginny will be there too. It'll be fun."

"I don't know Harry, brooms just aren't my thing…"

"You are NOT staying here anymore Hermione. Come with us."

"My flying isn't that… and Quidditch well…" Her cheeks pinked a bit in embarrassment. Harry and Ginny and Ron were the Quidditch hounds not her. 

"This isn't about Quidditch. I'll help you with your flying. It's won't be that bad," she glared at him fearfully. "I promise."

She finally gave in and abandoned her 'light reading' for the blue skies of Hogwarts.

-------------------------

Remedial Quidditch lessons with Harry were a bit embarrassing at first. When she arrived, Ron and Ginny caught on to the objective and offered their help too. But it was hard enough with one teacher instead of three, so the red-haired siblings flew off leaving Harry to it.

"First, mount your broom. Feel okay?"

She nodded, still nervous, even though her feet were still firmly planted on the ground. Her hands were sweaty and she wiped them on her shorts.

"Now kick off from the ground with a sharp push of your feet," Harry explained. "Like this." Up he went, a few feet off the ground.

She joined him in the air, a bit shaky and unsettled, leaning forward on her broom to balance herself. It would've lurched forward but Harry was steadying her broom with his hand by holding the handle firmly. She felt like she was walking a tightrope with no net.

"Sit back now. Sit up straight. Don't worry Hermione. I won't let you fall," he reassured her.

After a few tries and some deep breaths, Hermione was once again flying slowly… albeit a snail's pace… around the Quidditch pitch. She couldn't bear the blurring of the ground, and Harry kept asking her to look straight ahead instead of reminding herself of distance between her and the blessed earth. 

It wasn't right to defy gravity this way. 'I don't need no stinkin' broom.' Hermione couldn't wait for her license to Apparate.

She hadn't taken Quidditch since her first year, the only year that the 'exercise' class in punishment was made mandatory for all students. Harry was a natural and Ginny had been practicing since she was a child. Ron's flying was pretty decent too since his addition to the Gryffindor team. The three of them were unbeatable.

She found herself envying her girlfriend's confidence a bit as she watched her fly. She looked at the joyful look on Ginny face, and noticed her hair whipping behind her as she sprinted across the long field. Hermione studied her form and posture, unconsciously imitating it.

Hermione was unprepared at her broom shot forward. Even for a Cleansweep it was fast, and her form was blur that even Wood could be proud of. 

"AAHHHHHHH!!!!!" She screamed repeatedly, her shrieks echoing throughout the stadium as if she'd used the 'sonorous' charm. 

Harry raced after her as Ron and Ginny laughed. She couldn't stop, but it wasn't fun and Harry promised to help her.

"Pull up!" Harry screamed.

She did, but a bit too overzealously; so intent she was on coming to a stop. She immediately realized her mistake as the broom shot upward to the heavens. She now hung in a vertical position, desperately clutching the wood, her hands sweatier by the minute, legs wrapped around the broom in a vice grip, but her bum was sliding off toward the bundle of twigs. She was starting to drag…

"Great Merlin!" Ron exclaimed. Now he and Ginny were both in a panic. 

She pushed back against the broom and then spun 180 degrees hurtling toward the ground faster and faster. There was her reminder of how far she'd traveled and the dreaded closing distance from the sand. She almost remembered seeing clouds. 'Shit.' 

She could hear screaming below her but it didn't register yet…

Then she heard Harry repeating the same phrases over and over… "Pull up slowly… pull up! Hermione! Pull up!"

Her body slid forward and she pulled back again, not so hard this time. She couldn't tell immediately, so dizzy from her experience, but she was horizontal, and she did not have a sense of up or down. She had slowed incredibly, but her stomach still felt like it was flying a bit ahead of her. Harry zipped to her side, but before he could reach her, her hips lost their balance and she slid off the pole, her hands slipping from their desperate grasp of the wet handle. She fell twenty feet to the unforgiving sand below.

Hermione woke up in the infirmary with a splitting headache and thankfully only a few minor aches and pains.

She looked at Harry and fixed him with an icy gaze. "Books are just fine recreation, thank you."

He looked apologetically at her. Ron and Ginny were there too, happy that their friend was okay, thanks to the healing abilities of the resident medi-witch.

"Thank you Madam Pomfrey. I'm surprised nothing was broken." Hermione said, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

"You did break bones, dear. But I fixed them in a heartbeat. Not to worry, you can stand on your leg now, though it might be a bit sore, mind you."

She tested her weight bearing status and found that she unexpectedly felt fine enough. 'I love the ground, love the ground…'

"I'm really sorry Hermione, I thought you were fine…" Harry said.

"What possessed you to go so fast?" Ron asked stupidly.

"Ron! I didn't do it on purpose! God!"

After Poppy reluctantly released her, they argued all the way down to the Great Hall where she ran into Snape.

"Miss Granger? Are you alright?" Snape asked silkily with a bit of acidic quality.

"Yes, sir. Fine now."

"For a moment there, I thought maybe someone had jinxed your broom." He drew each painful word out. That was low, even for him.

Her face reddened. He had found out about her little spell under the bleachers; she thought it had been him who was responsible for Harry's violent ride his first year.

"No sir, it was fine."

"So you did that on purpose? Miss Granger, please stop trying to hurt herself," he said not convincing them of his sincerity. "First poisoning by ink, now death defying stunts? At this rate Minerva's star Gryffindor will never make it to fall term."

Remus interrupted before Hermione could say something she'd regret and they returned to Headquarters.

-------------------------

Pansy lay in the enormous four poster bed on top of ornate heavy floral coverlet, staring straight up at the ceiling. She wondered to herself if this really was the right thing to do—teaming up with a girl she detested. But, Granger had been polite, even civil with her. And she knew she was pretty fair, probably honest almost to a fault (though Pansy didn't really trust anyone to that degree).

Pansy had postponed her summer 'homework assignment' off to the last minute. Part of her still wanted to believe this wasn't happening. But in Parkinson tradition, she was a warrior. 'To hell with wallowing and self-pity.' That was for sissy Hufflepuffs. 'Pansy was hard faced, no one messed with her,' she told herself. Not even her father.

Her stay at her Aunt Marcelle's had been less than tolerable. In order to continue staying there, she had to dress for all of her pretentious social engagements and uptight dinner functions that her wealthy relative continually threw. Pansy was expected to be pleasant, which she wasn't, and demure—hardly, and have sufficient wit to entertain guests, but not the kind she was accustomed to sharing. She knew a limerick or two.

The only relief came when Draco turned up. He was really getting quite manly, so much like his father. Draco was handsome like Lucius, but less of an asshole. Draco was fun to be around mostly. When he wasn't around his crappy lackeys, Crabbe and Goyle, he actually stopped putting on an arrogant self-important show and started acting like the clever damned sexy Slytherin he was.

He was funny enough until his Dad showed up and broke up what was a promising five minute conversation on why Slytherin would be winning the Quidditch Cup this year and how they could transfigure Hagrid's dog Fang as a practical joke. The son of a bitch returned, and her fun-filled evening was over.

So here she was, seated at the credenza with quill and ink, shortly after receiving word of her OWLS and her Hogwarts letter. The letter was a welcome sight, signifying the end of a summer which threatened to take something from her she hadn't considered giving up yet. People at school thought she was a tramp, and true, she had been out with her fair share of guys, but nothing ever happened. An impatient boy had tried something once of course, but POW! No more. He would never admit it. In Slytherin tradition, no boy could admit any failure in matters of sexual experience, so of course the rumors started— and wisely, she said nothing to contradict them. That would only make things worse. Pansy had her dignity.

The list began and she worried immediately. 'How many virgins would Voldemort need?' There were 270 students at least in Hogwarts. Almost half of whom were witches. After what had happened last term, she knew many Muggleborn children might be pulled out of school for their safety. 'Stupid fools.' Hogwarts was the safest place. She couldn't wait to get there. 'Fuck. Almost 140 girls. Granger this is going to be impossible.' 

She started crossing off names, starting off with the seventh years, careful not to put an 'x' by any name based on what some stupid boy said. That was most of the Slytherins. Marcus was a busy man. 

As she wrote down the list of names, she felt herself struggle a bit. It gnawed at her that she knew everyone in her house almost, but not some of the third or second years well enough to know or remember their last names. And when she wrote down the names of the other girls in Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, and Ravenclaw she quickly had a running commentary in her head of the faults and shortcomings of each one, sniggering to herself. It wasn't too much fun insulting them in private, and she thought self-consciously about why she didn't know the other girls that well. How would they treat her if she wasn't in Slytherin? 'Pansy, you're a bitch.'

She knew one girl had been raped the previous year and awkwardly crossed her name off. Pansy was a little anxious when she did that, imagining she was crossing off her own name instead. She didn't want to lose her virginity that way. No one should have to. She wasn't even sure what Voldemort would use them for, but she was sure that there were worse things than rape, and if Voldemort was asking, then it wouldn't be for something as trivial as sex. 

'It wasn't just her she was after…' 

She resolved that this would be the only way to put this all behind them. She was going to get shagged as soon as possible and take as many girls with her as she could.

--------------------------

Hermione Granger sat with a cup of chamomile tea warming her hands, completely relaxed in the couch as she listened to the piano. The keys moved by themselves, as Molly had charmed the piano to play classical music. It was in this comfortable state that made Hermione feel guilt-ridden, as she noticed a very uncomfortable Snape returning from what she suspected had been a Death Eater meeting. By the tension he held in his jaw, and his long dirty black robes flowing behind him, a bit of a limp in his step that he tried hard to disguise— it was a fair guess.

She had rushed into the kitchen to offer him tea or something to settle him, but he waved her off gruffly waiting for Dumbledore's arrival. Hermione felt left on the outside, and that he would never let her in.

She looked on in pain, wondering if he would ever share with anyone the cruel suffering he had to endure to bring any information forth to the Order. It had been a while since the last meeting, and Hermione thought perhaps they had been holding their meetings elsewhere, given the sleeping arrangements of the under-age guests. 'They were pretty nosy.' 

Soon members filed in, and she felt a bit surprised that no one had mentioned to Harry, Ron, or Ginny that there would be a gathering tonight. Meetings were definitely getting more secret.

Hermione had pulled Dumbledore aside and asked the Headmaster if she could join, now that she was 'technically' eighteen, but he had refused her, saying he wouldn't consider her admission until her graduation from Hogwarts. She wondered if it was also to keep her friends from prying the Order's business out of her, but she was flattering herself. He probably had a multitude of reasons for not including her. And he didn't clue her in on what those limitations were.

So, Hermione did what she could. If they wouldn't let her know what the Order needed, she would find out what she could and report back. She appointed herself secretly to the Order on a side contract. As her first assignment, she took her tea upstairs and continued to read.

Back propped up against pillows, book open in her lap, she absorbed the text. It was beautifully written, citing both historical accounts of women and the social structures that had supported their oppression and division. Also it continued with various aspects of magic in young girls, though Hermione found herself somewhat skeptical to accept all of the concepts. 

For instance, Hermione never felt particularly empowered by her period, except perhaps the power to curse out the nearest person and then have the validity of her feelings diminished in some way by some uncouth insensitive individual asking if she was "on the rag." 

This book referred to menstruation rather affectionately by renaming it 'moonflow'.

She read that in some rituals, Ancient Egyptians used to drink menstrual blood mixed with red wine to increase spiritual power, and that people in Greece used to spread corn mixed with menstrual blood to improve the fertility of the land.****

_"__So great was the belief that the power of creation existed within the blood of a woman __that many myths such as the Ancient Hindu version in which all life is created from the thickened blood of the Great Mother include reference to it._

_ The word 'ritual' comes from 'rtu' which is Sanskrit for menses. The blood from the womb which nourished the unborn child was believed to have 'mana' or 'breath of life'._

_The word menstruation comes from the Greek__ 'menus'__ meaning both moon and power, and '__men' __meaning month._

_[In many ancient tribes] a woman's bleeding was considered a cosmic event, relating and connecting one to the moon, the lunar cycles and the tides__.__ She was thought to be at the height of her power at this time, and for this reason was encouraged to spend time listening to her inner voice which would often offer suggestions and wisdom which would benefit the whole tribe__." _(Spiraldancer)__

Hermione didn't know if she would honestly spend time trying to connect with an enlightened sense of self during that time of the month or not. But it was a little reassuring that she might be a bit stronger than she thought during her period, rather than weakened by it. And with all the talk about blood, she was feeling more optimistic that the book would eventually address virginity.

'Finally!' 

She spotted the word 'virgin' and thought she was making headway. As she read on she saw a listing of spells and potions which could either only be brewed by virgins, or made with virgin's blood, and those plants and flowers which could only be gathered by virgins and what other conditions needed to also exist (pale moonlight or on a Solstice, et cetera…) She was surprised at the lengthy list. 

Professor Snape had often offered to bring students along to gather items for his stores, but she never really put together how subtly he divided the tasks up. 'Come to think of it, he had her pick those flowers for him! So how had he known she was still a virgin anyway?!'

This was an excellent starting point for the club, and hoped it wouldn't be too long before she found out what other magic could be produced. And what dark magic could be extracted from them.

------------------------------

Before the end of the summer, Harry and Hermione were served their Hogwarts letters in conjunction with the results of their OWLS and both sat at the kitchen table dumbstruck, transfixed by the sight of the letters which held their scores.

Not having permission to leave 12 Grimmauld Place, Molly Weasley set off for Diagon Alley to purchase their school items leaving behind the two preoccupied Gryffindors. Usually Hermione would be jumping in protest at not being able to go, but this was… they were grades.

Harry looked up, unmoving and saw Hermione's face. He thought she looked the same as he felt and hollered at her. 

"Oh give me a break, Hermione! You studied harder than anyone! You know you're going to receive a dozen OWLS or something."

She shook her head and tried to bolster up the courage to break the seal. After a few more moments of silence Hermione spoke.

"Let's do it together,"she said.

"On three," Harry added nervously. 

"Onetwothree!" Hermione said quickly and they tore their report cards open.

Hermione's jaw dropped and Harry cried, "I did it! I got 8 OWLS! Woo hoo!"

Staring at her look of surprise Harry inquired as to her status, "How'd you make out?"

"I-I… I got eleven." She smiled. "I got eleven!" Tears filled her eyes. She passed every one of her tests with flying colors. "Exceeds Expectations in everything, the only exceptions being my…" she let out a disappointed sigh, "—Meets in Astronomy—you know they really should let us take that over again what with the distraction of the attack on Professor McGonagall… and I got 'O's' in Potions, Transfiguration, Herbology and Arithmancy!"

"I did well enough to continue studying toward becoming an Auror… I got an Exceeds Expectations in Transfigurations and Charms. I bet Professor Snape will have a heart attack when he sees me in his Advanced Potions class…"

"Oh wow, Harry! You studied so hard for that one," Hermione praised.

"Yeah, I did a lot better without the greasy bat standing over me. How do you think Neville did?"

Hermione shot him an ugly look. 'Are you trying to make some cruel joke?'

"Hermione, that's not what I meant, I just meant in that he didn't have Snape berating him during the test, maybe he did better… than usual."

"Hey, Harry, didn't you take 9 OWLS? What did you flunk?"

He smiled. "Divination. You'd think I was making up stuff or something." They laughed.

Author's Notes:

It should go without saying that you should NOT, and I would never recommend that you ingest blood for any reason, even if it is your own. I pulled some of the above references from various websites for purposes of making this story more believable.

Breastfeeding is wonderful, though I can't say I've done it yet myself (yet—no kids). But it's not for everyone and I don't want anyone to think from the chapter that anyone who doesn't breastfeed is not a good mother. Formula these days is often a necessity, and unavoidable even for some breastfeeding women. Many thanks to La Leche league and breastfeeding consultants everywhere for resurrecting our stories and knowledge!

By the way, I must give proper credit— I found the above info at: 

www.menustration.com.au/periodpages/moonflow.html Thank you Spiraldancer.

I've begun using single quotation marks around my italics. Apparently the formatting keeps getting dropped and I can't explain it. Also the poetry from the last chapter did have breaks in it at some point, but even after reloading it, it appeared as one giant stanza. I apologize.

I'm getting excited and find my thoughts wandering to scenes far beyond where we are now in the story, so I'm writing them as I go… whenever the mood strikes me. Maybe my dialogue will improve that way.

Bumbershoot: Dear BB, I swear I won't stop. I'm way past the point of addiction, and you could never talk my ear off. Yes, I too have read fics that far surpassed any expectations and stopped at the end. Rest assured I won't abandon The Twenty or The Burden of Sight.

The Klingon Mistress: Thank you for your review. I am excited to see where this will lead. Hermione is as yet undecided. This is a romance fic, so I imagine HG and SS will be deployed, but… not sure yet how she'll do that… or if she'll… "you know." Wink!

CJ Black:  Thank you for your review. I'm sure some inks are toxic, and I believe many old substances contained high amounts of lead and other things. I'm sure what we use today is non-toxic. And I am curious beyond imagining at taking up the hobby myself.

Azulkan2: Thank you, and as promised, one more chapter before he comes home.

Jade: Thank you for your suggestions, and of course here we are at the book. I haven't decided how Hermione/Pansy/Ginny plan to get their mitts on the Dark One though. Soon soon you'll see the formation of their little society for the preservation of women everywhere. That's not the name of it of course. I was just trying to be cute. J

Lyress: Ha! Hope you liked the Ogden's. Quite a mature gift for someone he suspected to be a man. Thank you for the complement about the poem… it may be somewhat important in future chapters. Sorry it was lacking appropriate spacing.

GeekGoddess1: Eeeww… merging? No not quite… Girl/Woman power—yes definitely. Staying virgins… well… that won't always be so, and not as terrible as you might think. Ah, but I give away too much. You'll just have to read and see.


	9. Invasion of Privacy

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to Rowling. Once again how did she do it? Such genius? And kudos to Alfonso Cuaron for what I hope will be a spectacular interpretation of her work. Can't wait for June 4th.

**Chapter Nine: Invasion of Privacy**

Hermione read more into the readings on the magical abilities of women, and found a stopping point. There was a lot of general information there, but she wondered if this book would ever become specific enough to touch on the topic at hand. Maybe she had the wrong book!

She did read many things of interest but found that she couldn't really put all of the pieces together yet. _'How was this going to help them in the long run? And why would Voldemort want some unknown number of virgins?'_

She couldn't find anything terrible… in this book. She thought again on '_The Power of the Innocent'_, and wondered if she would be able to locate that book in the restricted section, praying for it not to be still in Snape's possession.

She knew she was on the right track with that text, however nefarious its contents were deemed to be.

Hermione was happy to pack her trunk for the train. She packed carefully, humming all the while. She shined her Prefect's badge and wondered how it might help her to gather information about what Voldemort was planning. _'Shame on you, Hermione,'_ she thought. _'That old hat is going to have to re-sort you.'_ She smiled and felt a bit proud of her sneakiness. She felt she was going to need a fair number of Slytherin tactics this year. She laughed at the idea of Pansy Parkinson giving her pointers.

Molly locomotored Harry's and Hermione's trunks downstairs to join Ron's and Ginny's. Fred and George had a huge row with their parents about returning to school which ended with them taking up residence above their burgeoning business in Diagon Alley, _Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes,_ and taking classes on the side to make up for their incompletes the previous year after they walked out. If all went well, and if Molly won her argument, then the twins would attend their seventh year with Ron. Truth be told, Molly would really be furious if she found out Fred and George had a space at Hogwarts that Dumbledore gave them for experimentation. Dumbledore loved a good joke. He was probably very sorry he missed the fireworks display of the previous year before the twins' masterful departure.

Hermione loved the train station. Always a bustle of activity, large brick arches and conductors in formal dress uniforms. She remembered how she felt when she first looked at her shimmering boarding pass with the gold writing— like Charlie with his winning ticket to enter Wonka's magical chocolate factory. It was almost too unreal to believe— a terrible prank to play on an eleven-year-old girl with her hopes so high. She wasn't a witch and she wasn't going to boarding school. It was a dream and she'd wake up any moment.

_'Platform Nine and three-quarters indeed. Rubbish.'_

Then there they were again, other odd-looking children running through the rather solid wall between Platforms 9 and 10. It still held magic for her. And magic was her life.

Ginny, Ron, Hermione and Harry stepped quickly out from the cab that brought them and loaded up the trolleys. Looking each way, they ran as quickly as they could, closing the distance between themselves and the platform. Only when they were past the barrier would Hermione truly feel safe. Her secluded life at 12 Grimmauld Place had left her a bit paranoid. She wondered if Pansy was still up to the challenge that lay facing them.

Back at the station a worried mother and Order member were huddled.

"Molly, it will be alright," Remus patted her arm.

She sniffed and blew her nose into a colorful strawberry handkerchief. "I know your right. I know…"

"I'll be there, Snape, Albus…._Minerva,_" He emphasized Minerva's name with a little playful force. Molly laughed nervously. Minerva would absolutely curse to hell anyone who dared touch one of her girls. Her students were like her own children.

"Everything will be fine, you'll see."

Remus hugged her and the DADA teacher departed for the train.

Hermione was forced to meet up with the other prefects in their carriage with the Head Boy and Girl before the train left the station. She had duties to attend to before paling around with her friends and she dragged Ron along with her.

"I sure hope Malfoy decided to skive off this. I'd really like to wait before running into him too early."

"Ron, we need to at least try to get along a bit. He's a Prefect, and could— and _does_, succeed in making things very difficult for us."

"I'll make things difficult," Ron said angrily.

'Temper, temper. You see that's why it would've never worked out between us Ron, so hot-headed. Distracted by everything.' Hermione mused.

Hermione sighed and ushered her friend into the Prefect's compartment. It was then she got her first glimpse of Pansy Parkinson, right behind a smug Draco Malfoy.

"So how was your summer, you filthy little Mudblood?" Draco ridiculed.

_'So that's how it's going to be now is it,'_ she thought. __

"Fine, and yours? –you flesh-eating, maggoty, mangy ferret?" She replied sweetly and added a forced smile for good measure. Hermione became a different person around Malfoy. She stopped playing nice years ago. His comments meant less than nothing.

Draco sneered, but he detested the ferret comment. "Fine Granger."

"Nice to know some things don't change Malfoy. I can always count on you to be the complete prat that you are."

She made eye contact with Pansy, who was clearly angry by the exchange, but didn't dare do anything in front of the other Prefects. Hermione shot her the briefest look that said 'later.' And Malfoy caught it. Therefore, as soon as Hermione turned her brown head, Pansy popped her one, smacking her on the back of her noggin, pushing her into Draco a bit. Hermione spun around, but she was gone. Free of blame.

She was kind of surprised Pansy didn't follow them in, but then she didn't notice she wasn't wearing her Prefect's badge. Maybe she lost it last year due to one too many abuses of her privilege. Dumbledore probably had a way of finding out how the students behaved, even when Umbridge made her failed attempt to run the school. That gave Hermione some small comfort. It always made students feel a little better thinking Dumbledore was omniscient, covering them in that warm blanket of illusion. Pansy probably smacked her for Draco's sake, averting suspicion of any alliance, but it could've also been a bit of jealously—and Hermione made a mental note not to bring up Pansy's change in position unless she did.

The Prefect's meeting was the usual droll lecture on responsibilities. Prefects and the Head Girl and Boy did patrols of the grounds, giving detentions. Hermione thought perhaps she could _'overlook'_ some of the more serious snogging in the sad hope that it would result in fewer candidates for the Dark Lord's purposes. '_Oooh!'._ She hated this. Was there no other way? She knew some students had more advanced sexual experiences than perhaps were appropriate for their age and responsibility, but then she didn't really want to encourage that either. Then she had an idea…

Hermione found herself impatient to leave the meeting and found herself nodding silently in agreement to a topic she knew nothing about. She wasn't paying attention when she should have been.

"Oh great!" exclaimed Celestin. "We thought we'd have to draw names like last year!" The daydreamer had just unknowingly accepted the nomination from the Ravenclaw Head Girl, who had actually nominated Hermione as a jibe— which amazingly succeeded in placing ownership of the Yule Ball squarely on Hermione's shoulders.

Just great, she had been voted in and they took her silence for agreement. _'Damn it._'

Hermione practically stomped out in a huff beside a shocked Ron. "Hermione! I can't believe you volunteered for that! It doesn't revolve around endless study or anything!"

She was angry already, might as well show them up. "Just you wait, Ron…" she pointed a sharp finger to his chest, "this will be the best Yule Ball ever! And if you keep making cheeky comments like that, I'll even make this year's dance _educational_!"

Ron looked horrified. Hermione was totally capable of such a brutal abuse of an otherwise fun activity.

--------------------

Pansy waited in the hallway and Hermione saw her slip into the girl's lavatory with a backward glance. Hermione excused herself from Ron, telling him she would meet him in the compartment and slipped in behind Pansy.

"I have an idea." They said in unison.

Hermione laughed. "I'm glad we at least have one. Hey, when do you want to meet?" Hermione whispered.

"Well obviously not like this! When and where?" Pansy shifted uncomfortably, body mashed up against the wall.

"How about 9pm tomorrow? We can slip into the Room of Requirement," suggested Hermione.

"The Room of what?"

"It's on the seventh floor, across from that painting where trolls are trying to learn ballet. Walk back and forth in the hall three times when no one is looking, concentrating really hard on what you need in the room. Then the door appears and you enter."

Pansy looked distrustful. "Humph. This I gotta see, Granger. Nine is kind of late…"

"I'm not going to give you detention, and don't tell me you haven't been out after hours before," Hermione said rolling her eyes.

"Fine."

Hermione waited until the peephole showed coast clear and left the bathroom. _'Uh oh.'_

Ron could hear muffled sounds behind the cabin door.

'Really?' A male voice said.

'Hogsmeade weekend is in a couple of weeks… maybe we could go,' was her reply.

'Okay, as long as it's not to Madame Puddifoots. Yeech! I get bad vibes there…'

Approaching the compartment, Ron was still standing outside. If a caricature of Ron were animated, smoke would be erupting from his ears. He was red in the face, a scary thing to see next to his shock of orange hair. He had apparently been listening at the door, and obviously Harry and Ginny were its only occupants.

"You won't believe this, Hermione."

"Believe what?" Hermione inquired innocently.

"Them… Harry and Ginny. I overheard them…" he whispered harshly.

"It's rude to eavesdrop Ron." Hermione said plainly.

"I know but, Harry just asked my sister out!" Ron hissed.

"It's not that bad is it?" Hermione soothed.

"You knew?! You did, didn't you?" Ron gave a look of shock.

"Ron, she's your sister. Harry is your best friend. Would you want her to go out with anyone else? Don't you trust him? Next to Neville, he's the nicest guy I know." Hermione was trying to smooth things over, offering reason. But Ron immediately took offense.

"What do you mean, 'next to Neville!' What about me?"

"Ron, you have a hot head. You talk behind people's backs and generally are not always polite…"

"Good grief Hermione! I had no idea you felt _that_ way!" He shot back quite angry.

"Don't get a complex!" Hermione fired back.

"You don't know Harry like I do…"

"Oh yeah, and with all that _extra _knowledge you've amassed… does it change your mind any that Harry's a fine bloke?"

"Well— yeah. But she's my…"

"Sister, yes Ron, I know. And who did she date last year, hmm…" Hermione looked up and tapped her chin with a speculative finger.

"Alright, alright…. You don't have to list them out." protested Ron.

Harry and Ginny opened the sliding door. Harry was grinning. Ginny wasn't.

"I didn't know my love life had to be approved through committee," Ginny hissed through her clenched jaw.

"So your okay with it, Ron?" Harry asked hopefully.

Ginny elbowed Harry, not pleased at all that he had addressed the court.

At the school things began as usual. All of the upperclassmen took their seats at the long house tables, chatting about their summers, gossiping about the return of Remus Lupin, the known werewolf, making bets about which couples would stay together, and which ones were doomed. The old well-worn sorting hat waited patiently on the stool in front and when Hermione looked around she noticed the fewer numbers. Just slightly. In the crowd, she couldn't quite make out who was missing.

There was murmuring at their table at the end near a group of third years. Colin and Dennis Creevey and a few other students were whispering about five Gryffindor students and two Hufflepuffs no longer attending Hogwarts.

"Did they transfer?" Natalie asked.

"I don't know," Colin said.

"My mum says they're all right scared about the war brewing. After last year and all, they figure no one's safe at this school. A new DADA teacher every year, Dumbledore choosing these professors…" Seamus shuddered.

"What are you on about Seamus?" Ron said hotly. "Are you trying to say Lupin s'not a good teacher? He's the best we ever had!"

Seamus turned red and angry. "I didn't say that, me mum said it…"

"And Dumbledore is the best the wizarding world has ever seen since Merlin, so just shut your trap about him, yeah?" Ron added.

"Ron, stop." Hermione interrupted. "I'm sorry Seamus. You were saying something and we were all listening… _weren't we_?" Hermione said with a death glare toward the red-headed fury beside her.

Seamus nodded a thanks and explained. "Me mum said a lot of parents were pulling their kids out of school. She would've me too but I complained too much. Only got two years left and look what we're doing in DA, yeah?" He said the last bit under his breath, but most of the members were sitting at the table beside him. "Just look around. Colin's right… look Theo Branstone's sister, Eleanor, is gone too."

"Hey," Ginny piped up, "Is it only Muggleborns gone? Who else is missing?"

The group of Gryffindor's immediately checked out the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables searching for the pureblooded peers they recognized. The Ravenclaws were in gossiping formation like the Gryffindors were, but the table marked by green robes was mysteriously silent. Furtive glances suggested they knew who was missing even if all of the rest of the students didn't. Hermione made the briefest eye contact with Pansy Parkinson, who had a stony expression overshadowing her face; she was trying to study the wood table she was sitting at as if it possessed some hidden interest.

Hermione would have to wait until nine for the answers she wanted. Ginny looked at Hermione and saw the same expression there she had when speaking about the research. It would have to keep until later.

Soon as usual, Professor McGonagall led the first years in. Thirty-two new students. Two fewer in each house than the previous year. They all cheered after each student was sorted, but they were half-heartedly clapping only as the older students still craned their necks and whispered about the missing students.

Dumbledore made his usually clever speech and as always had a few choice words.

"Welcome to Hogwarts new students and welcome back to all who are returning! I know that many of you have been thinking upon some of your classmates who did not resume their studies here this year. They will be missed. Let us keep them in our thoughts and keep in mind the value of opportunities at education, friendship, and safety within these halls.

Please join me in welcoming again a fine teacher who has agreed to return and teach our Defense Against the Dark Arts classes, Professor Remus Lupin!" There was a surge of applause, which made Remus' cheeks run a bit red. Snape only glared. He'd been passed over again. Lupin didn't expect such a warm welcome after people found out about his lycanthropy problem, but here was the applause. Children were so forgiving, even if some of their parents weren't.

"Also, Firenze joins us as well, co-teaching Divination with Professor Sibyll Trelawney!"

Another fiery round of applause ensued, especially from Lavender and Pavarti, Trelawney's groupies. They were bound for fortunetelling. And it was suspected that Lavender might have the gift. Hermione still thought it was rubbish.

"As always, the Forbidden Forest is off limits to all students. If you wish to die an interesting but gruesome death however, please feel free to explore after dark." That comment earned the stunned silence it was expected to invoke. "Hogsmeade weekends will be handled a bit differently this year, your Heads of House will be speaking to you on this matter later in the week. I have three more words to say… Pop-tart! Smurf! Abraca Pocus! – Now tuck in!"

"Sounds like someone's been watching Saturday morning cartoons," Harry muttered.

Hermione and Seamus laughed with a few others. Ron and Ginny didn't get it.

Hermione left to go upstairs and unpack her trunk. She locked the coin purse, ink, nibs and other sentimental items into her personal dresser and warded it heavily. She still hadn't had a chance to deposit the money she had earned. Warded or not, it bothered her a little that she had a small fortune in her room. She motioned in the next room for Ginny to come in and soon they were seated on her bed.

"I have a meeting with Pansy Parkinson tonight," she said quietly. "We're going to try and form some kind of plan about this whole virginity thing."

"Hermione, you're really beginning to scare me. Do you really think it's that serious?" asked Ginny cautiously.

"Right now, we're just gathering information. We haven't decided anything yet. Pansy's Dad was offering her to You-Know-Who. You know he's not just after one right? And there's no way it can be for anything stupid. It's never that simple."

"I don't know Hermione. Shouldn't we tell Dumbledore?"

"No. I don't think so. Not yet anyway. I have a little tiny bit of Pansy's confidence. We would blow that by telling a teacher. You know how they've been handling things…"

"Behind closed doors," Ginny finished.

"Yeah, and leaving us out of the loop! I'll never forget the look on your mom's face! She was terrified. And I am not going to have that kind of information kept from me if we're going to be on the receiving end of that crap."

Ginny nodded. "What do you need from me?"

"Do you know, I mean really know… for definite for sure, which students have already had sex or lost their virginity?"

Ginny looked a bit surprised but then looked at the list of students Hermione handed to her. _'Wow, she has been doing her homework this summer.' _Ginny checked off a few names, and surprisingly the names of several younger witches that caused Hermione to gasp a bit. Ginny fixed her with a negative headshake, which said, _'Don't ask.'_

Nine o'clock rolled around quickly and Hermione found herself wishing that she had her own invisibility cloak. She ran almost into Pansy and began the ritualistic pace responsible for making the door to the Room of Requirement appear.

"Hey! What is this place?" Pansy asked. She looked around the cozy room, holding only two couches a lamp, some parchment and foe glasses. Had they looked at the wall of books, they would've been frightened to see volumes on chastity, abstinence, safer sex, and the tantric arts.

"It's a space that provides for its users whatever they require. If you concentrate hard on needing boxing gear, it provides the best gym and equipment you've ever seen. If you need books for studying for your tests… presto! Bookshelves appear with an amazing selection, probably found in our own library. Haven't figured that one out yet…"

Hermione swished her wand and her notes appeared from thin air. Pansy just pulled out her single sheet of names, looking a bit shocked at the amount of work Hermione had put into a solution that she found so elementary. Hermione pulled out her own list and they compared. After arguing a bit, they both decided that neither jumped to conclusions about someone's virginal status based on rumor.

"The number is still too big!" argued the Slytherin.

"Actually, I've been reading, and it seems that a virgin's power isn't truly strong enough until she is older."

"Are you mad?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I've been reading in this book the Power of Women, that girls over fourteen are more likely to produce more powerful results in potions where their blood is used. And I suspect that's what he needs. Blood. Maybe to heal himself? It's terribly rare to find anymore. There are a bunch of powerful healing potions which can be produced from it. The potions get weaker the younger the witch is, so I'm thinking for now we should focus on the fifth, sixth and seventh years."

The list of 140 girls had taken a nosedive to fifty-one. Out of the fifty-one, they had crossed out the majority of the seventh years, and even at that Hermione looked shocked. Parkinson didn't say anything either. She looked at Hermione's list and thought the same thing. On her nightly patrols, she had caught her fair share of students in rather compromising positions last year, and heard some of the other Prefects had as well. Fifty-one students had diminished to thirty. And that was that they knew of.

Hermione thought for a moment and Pansy sighed. "I don't know… I was interested in boys at 14. If desire is the only pre-requisite for stronger blood magic, are you sure the Dark Lord won't be able to use them too?"

"Better be on the safe side," agreed Hermione. They added eighteen more girls in. "Hey, Pansy? Why are there so many Slytherin girls missing?"

Pansy shot her a scathing look and said with force, "Maybe it's because this idea of ours isn't so far fetched. The Slytherins that didn't return are all children of Death Eaters. Kendra was rumored missing earlier this month. Her parents say they don't know where she is, but all I can say is 'run Kendra.' The others— I don't know if they've been offered like me, or spoiled so _He _can't have them—I mean, who would want that for their children? Even if it is for loyalty!" Pansy was filled with hatred and anger again and Hermione felt sympathetic for the girl whose own father had sold her out.

"We need more info. Then we can call a meeting." Hermione suggested.

"How can we even know which ones we can trust?"

"We can trust Ginny. She's in."

"Weasley! You told her?!" Pansy fumed.

"Yes, I did. And you can trust her. She is one girl with six, over-protective, older brothers who knows how to handle them. She can keep a secret. We spent some of out summer together. Trust me, she's on board."

"Fine. What about everyone else?" Pansy said resignedly.

"I think we should approach them individually. When they find out what's up… do you think they'll be lining up to sacrifice themselves? I think not."

"But can they keep a secret?" argued the skeptical girl.

"We'll find a way. Right now, we need to mark off the list. I have another book I need to locate called the Power of the Innocent. That will probably tell us what darker spells virgins could be used to produce." Pansy drew in a sharp breath.

"It's a dark text?" Hermione nodded. "Be careful handling it if you do see it. That…" Pansy took a deep breath. "Just be careful." Hermione was bit taken aback that Pansy Parkinson would ever tell her to be careful, but things were changing now. It was weird to have a girl who popped her one on the back of her head earlier, be watching her back.

"When should we meet next?" Hermione asked.

Pansy thought a moment. "I'll give you a signal and we agree to meet that night at the same time if we agree."

"I have a better idea." Hermione pulled out her wand and charmed her cloak clasp. Then she reached for Pansy's who reluctantly relinquished it.

"What are you doing?"

Hermione muttered to Parkinson's silver snake brooch, charming it also. "Ok, now whenever you need to meet with me just point your wand at the clasp and say the time and date you want to meet. Then my pin will warm and I'll know… or likewise I could do the same for you. When you turn your clasp over you can see the date and time appear faintly on the back. No one else will notice."

Pansy still looked unconvinced but Hermione took her stunned silence for agreement.

Hermione left the Room of Requirement and instead of heading to the dormitories, instead found her feet walking the memorable path to the library. Hermione found it difficult to go to sleep at night, and having her schedule changed around was going to take a bit of getting used to. School began Monday and she had 48 hours to herself.

Snape smiled in the shadows and emerged silently behind the young woman. "Miss Granger," he drawled silkily startling her, "School hasn't even started yet and already you are breaking school rules. It's too late for rounds. Not a fine example for a Prefect to set. Ten points from Gryffindor for being out after curfew. Now return to your dormitory at once."

"Yes sir." Hermione was caught and decided she definitely wanted an invisibility cloak. Something.

Snape smiled to himself. He knew where she had been headed. Snape was heading for the same place. Spent half of her summer in the study of the Headquarters. The fall term had officially begun.

In the morning Hermione forced herself out of bed and snuck in the library before breakfast. She perused the shelves in the restricted section but found nothing. It would take quite a while to sort through all of it, but she knew what book she was looking for and it wasn't here.

She entered the Great Hall for breakfast late, but it was Saturday and tardiness was overlooked. Students were expected to be prompt most school mornings, but weekends were more relaxed. Harry, Ron, and Ginny were already outlining an afternoon of Quidditch practice while the weather was nice. Hermione felt a bit distracted by her own thoughts. She felt claustrophobic at 12 Grimmauld Place and now she was feeling engulfed by the enormous halls— a little lonesome and homesick for a small divan and some chamomile tea, ink-stained fingers and the sight of Severus in that black leather chair.

She stole a glance up at the Head table where Professor McGonagall and Lupin were in a heated debate over something. Snape just looked down at his plate, pretty well devoid of food of any kind and sipped his coffee while he read the paper. She smiled inwardly as she notice his frown at the contents of the coffee cup. It wasn't holding Harry's home brew. Feeling a little guilty for staring, Hermione turned to her own meal just as Snape looked up. He felt eyes on him and looked around suspiciously for a moment, a sixth sense creeping at him before he returned to his now cooler beverage.

---------

The students could here the slicing motion of his swishing black cloak cutting the stagnant dungeon air as Professor Snape strode forcefully into the classroom.

"Welcome to Advanced Potions. I am utterly surprised so many of you are able to join me." He glared at a few students who had miraculously earned an 'O' on their OWL. "You will notice which of your classmates were not able to join us today and for all of our safety, as we embark on the more dangerous potions, I am sure many of you are eternally grateful for their absence." That earned a few laughs. "Today, we will begin by… ten points from Gryffindor for talking, Mr. Potter. Want to make it 20?" Snape spat with a satisfied venom.

"No sir." Harry said, wishing to respond very differently.

"Then close your mouth and stop wasting class time." Snape exhaled in displeasure and began class again. "Now, please turn in your text to page 576, regarding the effects of flowers and their components in potion making. Who can tell me what the uses of bellflower are in advanced potion making?"

Hermione looked around, and seeing no hand in the air, raised her own hand then. However he still did not recognize her.

"Very well, I shall choose someone… Mr. Potter. Can you explain the uses of the bellflower?" _'Let's put you on the spot Wonder Boy. You don't belong here.'_ Snape thought. _'I can't scarcely believe you earned an O on your Owl exam.'_

Harry shifted in his seat and tried to give the best answer he could. It was their first class, and he nearly began at the end of the book. _'Bet Hermione knows.'_ "Sir, the bellflower can only be gathered by a virgin and is most commonly used as a base of healing potions. I would assume it's use in more advanced potions would include… more advanced medicines, antidotes, tinctures, and treatment of unicorns?" Harry wrinkled his eyes at bit, and shrugged waiting for his answer to be crushed to smithereens by the sadistic potions master.

Snape thought for a moment as Hermione and the rest of the class stared at him in surprise. "Lucky guess, Mr. Potter. You didn't seem too sure, though vague, but nevertheless you are correct." Only Snape could drawl out a comment in such a contemptuous manner that it was more of an insult than praise.

Harry smiled in relief, but also didn't earn any points for his answer. This was Advanced Potions not Jeopardy. Answers in Snape's class should come in the form of a statement not a shaky question.

Next class, I will escort all of you on a field trip into the Forbidden Forest to gather bellflowers in order to brew the first of three healing potions," Hermione's face blushed a bit and she resisted any attempt to bite her lower lip. Her embarrassment at the implication quickly turned her blood cold, annoyed by the inappropriate glances and murmuring of the boys in the class, which of course, went unpunished by Snape.

Slowly realization dawned on some of the other girls who began their nervous fidgeting, which muffled Hermione's discrete charm at her own clasp. Pansy caught her squinted eyes quickly, turning her head and snickering as if she was responding meanly to some rude comment Malfoy had whispered. They would need to talk about this.

Hermione barely made it through the rest of class without snapping. She was on edge. It was barely the first day of class and the drama was beginning already. She gathered her items as quickly as possible and threw them in her satchel. Harry (and everyone else) noted the force with which she did this, missing the satchel— and her textbook hit the floor with a loud clunk, announcing to the world her frustration.

"Hermione, what's gotten into you?" Harry asked.

Hermione just looked up and glared. "Not here." Her jaw clenched and she shot an accusatory stare at Snape.

"Miss Granger, may I see you for a moment please?" Snape inquired quietly.

Hermione was practically growling as she picked up her book and stuffed it in her overflowing backpack. "Yes, sir." She said in a higher tone as sweetly as she could. She took a deep breath and tried to collect herself. She would take care of this. _'How dare he?'_

Harry gave her a sympathetic look and told her he'd wait for her in the hall.

The uniform clad girl, stood proudly, obediently before his desk like a soldier, abandoning any kind of informality he remembered from those pajama clad mornings during the summer. Hard to believe it had just been last week.

"Miss Granger, please take a seat," Snape instructed.

She sat, but still carried the indignant feelings where respect for him was once held.

"I would like to propose an advanced project for you in Potions, even though it is a year early. You must understand why I don't always call on you in class."

_'Why you don't ever call on me in class, you mean.'_ All she said was, "Yes, sir."

"I am in a unique position, and cannot give the kind of challenge to you in the classroom which will move your development in potions along. Am I right in understanding you have interest in pursuing the subject further beyond your graduation?"

She shifted a bit in her chair. "Yes, sir. I have been thinking about becoming a Potions Mistress."

"Then I would like to propose a project two nights per week. I had to receive the Headmaster's approval which he gave so long as you don't require use of a time turner…" Snape playfully drawled. His casual demeanor was a bit more lax than his bitter classroom sarcasm and the contrast was shocking, especially after today's lesson.

"Thank you, sir. When should I start?" Hermione was eager, but winced inwardly as she thought about what she had planned to talk about with Pansy. A project like this was what she had wanted, and it offered her an opportunity to work more closely with Professor Snape, giving an opportunity to explore and feel certain about her choice of career as well as a chance to understand more about advanced potions than she could learn from a book.

"Wednesday night, 6:30pm?" He suggested, really making an effort to be agreeable.

"Yes, sir. Thank you. What should I bring?"

"There are some new texts for you to study. I'll give them to you then." Snape felt satisfied as she accepted his offer. He hadn't really expected her to refuse, but students didn't actually line up to work with him. He had a reputation for being a bastard and it was well earned. Maybe he would claim Minerva's pet student for his own after all.

That was the icing on the cake. New books. From Snape. And then she eyed the familiar binding of the tome on his desk. _'Damn it. He still has it.'_ Already Hermione was trying to find ways to sneak a peek and take advantage of her new independent study. The Slytherins were rubbing off on her.

She was still angry. She couldn't wait to talk to Pansy. He didn't even mention the topic of discussion in class today. _'Maybe he didn't feel it was worth mentioning.' _That thought alone outraged the young Gryffindor even more as she waltzed off to join Harry in the corridor off to their next class.

"That took a while. Now will you tell me what's up?" Harry impatiently asked.

"Snape just asked me to do private potions lessons with him twice a week," Hermione hissed under her breath. And then added, "But don't tell anybody; it's kind of a secret."

"Um, ordinarily I would say that's terrible, but isn't that kind of what you were hoping for?"

"Yes. No. Oh, I don't know." Hermione sighed in confused frustration.

"And what were you on about in class? You looked about ready to hex somebody."

"Harry, are you really that thick? Think about what we talked about in class today, what we will be doing Wednesday and add those things up. Then get back to me, m'kay?" Hermione stormed off and left a perplexed Harry in the hall to do the math.

Hermione paced way beyond the three required times and entered the appearing door just as Pansy ran in behind her.

"Got to talk Granger, so listen up," Pansy snapped crossly.

That took Hermione a bit off guard as she was already bursting at the seams. "All right, I'm listening."

"You may not know, but Professor Snape… well, he's a Death Eater." Parkinson said under her breath, like she was betraying her own Head of House.

Hermione tried to act shocked, but she couldn't. She was a bad liar.

"I suspected as much." Pansy's eyes widened a bit then narrowed as she felt her whole House was being stereotyped. "I mean he's the Head of Slytherin. It seemed at least possible. And what the hell was that about in class?"

"If anyone was asked to produce a list of students it would be someone here." Pansy said.

"I was thinking Draco would be asked by his Dad, but Snape seems much more reliable source of information," Hermione thought aloud. "We can't do it and that's that."

"You mean the bellflower picking? What do you mean? How exactly do you plan on refusing?" Her arms were crossed defiantly, arguing was her best skill.

"Don't you feel violated?! Did you see the look on Malfoy's face?" Then she saw Pansy's face, maybe that wasn't the best choice of student to pick as an example… "A lot of the boys were ogling and looking around… 'hmmm let's figure out who's a virgin.' We might as well paint big targets on us! Snape's gonna out us to the whole school! Even if some of the guys are a bit more honorable than others, it'll be all over Hogwarts by supper!"

"I cannot picture what hell will break loose if you tell that to Snape's face in class on Wednesday. And surely we're not the only group to be asked. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw have potions tomorrow. I double dare you to refuse Snape in front of the whole class!" Pansy laughed at the foolish Gryffindor, but she knew what Snape was doing. It had already begun. The girls were being sorted.

But Hermione's wheels were turning… and Pansy saw her finally examine the room she had wished for. There were several books on the nearby table, Muggle movies, "Rebel Without a Cause", "Dead Poets' Society," and several books on Hogwarts Handbook of Student/Teacher Conduct, and Professional Ethics of Teachers.

"We go to Dumbledore." Hermione said decisively.

"You are out of your fucking mind!" Pansy was fuming hands clenched into tight balls.

"Completely." Hermione didn't react to her peer's anger. She smiled. That scared Pansy a little and surprised her with the confident attitude.

"You can't tell him what we know." Pansy warned.

"I won't have to." _'But there will probably be repercussions…'_ Hermione thought chewing her lip. Bye, bye, independent study. She'd had the offer for all of six hours and she already was wrecking that opportunity. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Snape didn't want to give the list of names either, she thought. Maybe her refusal would make it easier for him to stall. "Just tell me, how willing do you think the other female students will be to signing a petition collectively refusing the assignment?"

Pansy's reply was a loud scoff.

This was going to be difficult. Hermione might very well have to go it alone, but she'd prefer not to. "You have any better ideas?"

"Actually," Pansy began slyly. "I didn't mention it before, but after we get our list together, I think we should all make a pact to get shagged as soon as possible."

"Now _you're_ crazy! I'm not…" Hermione took a deep breath. "We won't be able to convince everyone to do that, nor should they have to!"

"Any other bright ideas? Now's the time!" Pansy's hands were on her hips and she was waiting for the brilliant solution.

"I thought maybe, we could start a few rumors…" Hermione looked a bit calculating.

This was right up a Slytherin's alley. "Hmmm… so girls start gossiping about who's doing who…"

"Everyone loves a good scandal." Hermione added.

"It'll be all over the school in no time." Pansy reasoned.

"If Ginny said you kissed someone, by the time it got told through 30 different students, you'd be shagged, knocked up, and married with your announcement in the Daily Prophet!"

They laughed. It was true. "It'll take a while to plant rumors about enough girls. We need to pace ourselves, otherwise who'll buy it?"

"Yeah, but we need to get their agreement first! I don't want to have a reputation for spreading lies. It'd be better if once people find out, that they didn't deny it."

"You're no fun. But you're right. We need more than a few people to confirm those stories... or at least not deny them." Pansy agreed. "Hopefully You-Know-Who's list will be hopelessly incorrect."

They laughed but didn't feel it strongly. A dark feeling settled itself into the stomachs of both girls. Hermione's face assumed a look of steely determination as she snatched the book of school rules and conduct from the desk.

No way to avoid it. No way to pretend this wasn't as important as they thought, that they were making too much of things.

It was official. This meant war.

**Author's Notes**:

Thank you for being so patient! It's been enormously difficult to write this chapter. My husband got back in town and we've been fighting over one computer. He finally de-bugged mine and here I sit— a week later, hammering this one out. This is a transitional chapter, and I wasn't quite sure how much I would put in it. All I have to say is, Poor Snape— he's got another thing coming if he thinks he can mess with the likes of Ginny, Hermione and Pansy.

And do you remember Bugs Bunny? Abraca Pocus… Pocus Cabadra! I love those rearrangements of made up magic!

Many thanks to my new beta The Klingon Mistress! _insert applause here_ She's been proofreading the chapters for errors and giving suggestions. Thank you, Thank you! You're awesome!

Romm: Thanks… and honor will be intact… but who knows? See how the file gets added to the gumbo…

Talisman: Thanks for the correction, I'll correct and reload.

simplyscribbling: Yep, the fireworks are coming next chapter… Snape's not going to figure out her role for sometime, though I haven't thought if the big reveal should happen by accident or by necessity. The group will come together soon. I don't have a cat, but friends have told me it's rather exciting. One of my friends decided to set a video camera up at night to see what the shy kitties do when they think no one else is looking… it's hysterical. And an old boyfriends cat likes to get up at 5:30 am when no one is awake and spaz around the apartment, cat on acid style, and mess up piles of papers until he gets attention. It's freaky.

Spirit: Yo s'up sweems? Where are you from? Most people don't say s'up anymore, but I assure you here in Houston and in Memphis (my hometown) we still do! Thanks!

Ezmerelda: Very concise description of Hermione's and Pansy's motives and you're right! And the poem was still in fine calligraphy form, probably more traditional in style, not the same as his book or her schoolwork. Snape won't get it for awhile….

Wytil: Hmmm, I wonder if that's the colostrum? It's what comes first and is supposed to prepare the baby's gut for digesting milk… I'll ask the lactation consultant at work maybe she knows.

Alicat99: Thank you! Thanks for sharing your breastfeeding experience, hopefully I'll be able to identify soon, my husband and I are trying now. Smiles! Here's the next chapter.

Maxy: Thanks, I don't often write poetry and had trouble posting it, kind of mushy and angsty. Yup, Hermione's got troubles all right.

Celtic Words: Thank you! And here is the update. I do promise excitement!

eranice: Sorry it took me a whole week! This is a transitional chapter.

lyress: Woo hoo! Glad to oblige. Girl power!

Jade: Yup. Great idea, totally plan on pansy having such opportunities. She's a sly one.

Three AM: Thanks a bunch! Definitely a favorite chapter of mine. I liked the Quidditch scene and I also love the coffee… luv the coffee… Hopefully will get more neat stuff in about blood, however made up it might be. Sorry it took me so long to update the next chapter.

Tomato: And here's your some more!

Faerluthio: Thank you for the complement! Though I'm not so sure I do such a good job at writing Snape.


	10. The Bellflower Revolt

**Disclaimer:** _Hey there. I make no money, so please review below! Thank you J.K. Rowling once again for such a fine work. I am now reading Book 5 for the umpteenth time. Still laughing. T-minus eleven days until Prisoner of Azkaban is released!!!! Yippee!_

**Chapter Ten: _The Bellflower Revolt_**

The bright sunshiny morning glory walked down the corridor to the dungeons, large metal thermos in hand. She wondered if he would truly appreciate the coffee she was bringing him and how he might react, perhaps not. But just maybe— forging some type of amicable relationship would not be so difficult. He was pretty civil when he'd asked her about the extra lessons… he even went to Dumbledore to get special permission.

Maybe she could casually bring up the fact that there was 'no way in hell' she, or any of his female students would volunteer to pick bellflowers. Not in front of their male peers and _not_ in front of _him_. So when she knocked and opened the heavy wood door to the dungeons, it was a total surprise that Professor Snape who was sitting at his desk, stopped what he was doing, and gave Hermione a crooked smile.

"Miss Granger, what can I do for you this morning?"

"I thought you might like some coffee, sir."

He raised a curious eyebrow and walked toward her. "Indeed. Thank you. The house elves here make a decent enough cup, but once you have the real thing, you can never go back."

It was funny to hear him say that, that was something her mother used to say. She poured him a cup and offered it to him. When he took it from her, his long slender fingertips just grazed her own. She felt her abdomen tighten at the contact.

"Thank you, Miss Granger," he drawled out in his silky tones. He produced a cup, and poured a coffee for her as well. She didn't take it black, but decided to make an exception for present company. Somehow, it tasted sweeter, possibly because their exchange was going far better than she had expected. But soon she felt a bit different, as the truth serum flowed through her veins and Snape's demeanor abruptly changed.

He flung the drink aside and shook her shoulders forcefully. "You insolent girl! How dare you go to Dumbledore behind my back!"

Hermione panicked, heart pounding out of her chest. "W-w-what? I d-d-didn't go s-s-see him yet…."

"You will talk young lady. If you are a lady... Tell me… Are you still a virgin?"

She wrestled free of his grip and ran down the twisting corridor toward the Headmaster's office, feeling lost in the school she knew so well, but things seemed out of place.

"Professor Dumbledore!!"

Hermione woke up in a sweat, furious at Snape and relieved that she hadn't actually taken a thermos of coffee to the man responsible for making her life a nightmare.

She had to talk to Dumbledore— this morning, before classes started.

---------

"I can't use that, Headmaster," Severus was always formal with Professor Dumbledore. He had been teaching there long before Snape attended Hogwarts, and since Albus had spared him, he couldn't ever change to calling him Albus, even when he had requested that he do so.

"Voldemort will most certainly be expecting you to produce a list of names soon," Dumbledore reminded unnecessarily. It had almost been the only thing on the Death Eater's mind since June.

"I don't want to know for certain, I'd personally rather 'try my best' and be _accidentally_ inaccurate than have it be known _beyond all doubt_." Snape's brow furrowed, still concerned at how he would pull this off. Lupin better find something in that book. Snape knew he hadn't any luck.

"Severus, you could use it, make a master list, and then— select students who are no longer… chaste." Of course, leave it to Dumbledore to offer a poorly thought out Slytherin solution.

"I can't lie convincingly if I know too much of the truth. Not to Him anyway." He sighed heavily in frustration. Severus decided he couldn't use the device. He didn't want to implant accurate memories which he would then have to try and conceal from the Dark Lord. He was an accomplished Occlumens, but Lord Voldemort was a superior Legilimens. He would prefer not to tempt an error by letting that knowledge take root. Subverting a Legilimens with use of Occlumency was a bit like saying to yourself, 'Don't think of the pink elephant… don't think of a pink elephant…'

He wished he hadn't known Hermione Granger was still one, but then of course she could come in handy when collecting potions ingredients.

He suspected he'd have to design several class assignments where the students would prepare a potion which could determine virginity and then test it on themselves. If he taught and supervised poorly enough, perhaps enough of them would err that it would be of no use, and he could further stall the Dark Lord. The bellflower assignment was a good one, it could be botched easily enough while still teaching lessons his students needed to know.

"Severus, is there anything else?" Snape realized he hadn't spoken for several moments and had zoned out.

Not offering any additional kindling to stoke the fires of conversation, he ended with a— "No, Headmaster. Thank you."

------

She sprinted through her daily routine. She had only an hour and a half before Advanced Transfigurations. She walked briskly past the Great Hall hoping Dumbledore hadn't gone down for breakfast yet, and with any luck he would already know she was coming. Best case scenario— he would have a solution before her fanny hit the chair. She remembered her anger, the injustice of it all and channeled the outrage she felt after her dream and class yesterday.

"Fizzing Whizbee." The spiral stone stairs which led to Dumbledore's grand office appeared from behind the griffin and she knocked to enter.

"Come, Miss Granger."

To her surprise, Professor Snape was just excusing himself to leave and Hermione made only the briefest eye contact with him before she awkwardly sat in the warm chair he had vacated.

"Good morning Professor, Professor," she said a bit more tersely than she would have liked.

Snape left with a quick look behind him. Something didn't seem right about the Granger girl. He shook his head and departed. _'Who could understand the mind of some worked-up teenager?'_

"Miss Granger, would you like a lemon drop?" Dumbledore inquired sweetly, anticipating the response.

The sweets offer was a litmus test of sorts— Dumbledore found he could judge the seriousness of a situation by the person's answer. Or that was his theory anyway.

"No. Professor Dumbledore, I need to talk to you about a very serious matter that happened in Professor Snape's class yesterday."

She was all business. No lemon drop. No thank you, no pleasantries for the commonly polite Gryffindor Prefect. This was a serious concern.

Dumbledore leaned forward and focused intently on Hermione. "Continue."

"He has asked the class, or I should say— the girls of the class— to participate in gathering _bellflowers_ for advanced healing potions." She let it sink in.

"And the problem is…" Dumbledore was looking a tiny bit annoyed and it infuriated Hermione that one of the smartest wizards was playing dumb. She seethed.

"The problem_ is_ that we're meant to do this in _public_, in front of the boys. First of all, how does he even _know _which of us are able to pick those flowers and who can't? Only virgins can pick bellflowers and you should have seen the rude looks and gestures the boys in class were making! I am not… I _refuse_, we _all refuse _to participate in an activity that forces us to reveal something about ourselves which should remain private just for the sake of a grade!" Hermione was fuming, in rare form today, fists clenched and hair on end.

Dumbledore remained calm, though he had a calculating look. "Would you object to the boys not participating at all in the exercise?" He was being deliberate. Dumbledore knew virgins were being targeted, and he knew she knew.

"That's not the point. My sexual history is none of Professor Snape's business, or that of any teacher!"

The elder wizard scrutinized Hermione over his spectacles. "I am sure that perhaps Minerva or Poppy would argue with you there, Miss Granger. And I understand your objections." Hermione sighed almost in relief. _Success. He understood._

"But I must ask you," he added, "Did you discuss your objections with Professor Snape before you came to me?"

_Oh shit._ "Um, no sir."

"Well, Miss Granger. I suggest that should be your next step, _before_ you see the Headmaster about a dispute in one of your classes." He held up a hand to stop her huffs and protests. "Professor Snape may not always be so easy to get along with, of that I am well aware. However, he is your teacher, a reasonable man, and you should respect him by bringing matters to him first rather than go over his head for a solution in order to avoid confrontation. Not a very _Gryffindor _thing to do."

Hermione felt hurt and dejected. Totally defeated. She knew better. Indeed, she had the answer last night in her sleep. "You're correct Professor," she mumbled. "I will do that. But this isn't an option or an agreement I will be giving him, so that you know," her voice finding its firmer resolve. "He is not going to like what I have to say."

"Perhaps not, but at least he deserves to hear it from you," his smooth voice said. Wise eyes peered at her down the bridge of his nose. Matter closed.

Hermione left his office and Dumbledore smiled to himself. It would be an interesting year, and Snape had his work cut out for him. He smiled with a impish sort of satisfaction. His spy had a job to do, and Hermione Granger wasn't going to make his job any easier by cooperating.

However, the Headmaster did not know how _true_ that was.

-----

_'Crap,'_ Hermione thought as she ran in for a quick bite. _'How am I going to do this? Humph. Still early.' _Barely anyone was at breakfast yet, so she left for the dungeons.

She straightened her hair, trying to look presentable and calm herself before entering the dungeons to make her appeal—and jumped back when Snape walked up behind her.

He was slightly amused at her adjustments— for his benefit or hers he couldn't tell. Hermione probably had a million little quirks and habits he couldn't figure out. She had a habit of doing things just so, and it worked for her. Her grades reflected the benefits of a compulsive lifestyle.

"Miss Granger, you are not due for potions until tomorrow. A little eager this morning, aren't we?" Snape inquired a little too smugly. His expression changed when his eyes met her stony gaze.

She hadn't meant to look so harsh, part of the reason she was smoothing her hair earlier. When she was angry, her hair was doomed, bushing out far past normal limits—Sleekeasy's or no, it was one of her inescapable witchy traits.

"I need to discuss something with you, sir. If you have a moment."

"Very well, Miss Granger." The cold professional Potions Master was back, and he was already not liking what he was hearing. His head was already spinning with possibilities. _'Had it already started? Granger knew about the device…maybe she heard something from one of the students… It could be useful having information from a student that most teachers weren't privy to.'_

He was way off the mark.

"Professor Snape, I feel incredibly uncomfortable about our assignment tomorrow, and while I respect you as my teacher, I absolutely refuse to participate in the class exercise involving bellflowers. I might add that I believe the other girls will refuse as well." She tried to remain as calm and even as possible, without smoothing over the seriousness of it.

He was not expecting this and his voice became low, dangerously low. His voice hissed through gritted teeth and reverberated off the dungeon walls in spite of the reduced volume.

"First of all, Miss Granger— it is not for you to approve or disapprove of any assignment I give in my classes. Therefore, I do expect your _full participation_ tomorrow and in each class as is required for advanced potion making, or suffer the consequences. How on earth do you expect to be an accomplished potions mistress without putting in _the work_?" His dark eyes pierced right through her and somehow she managed not to look away.

"First of all, _Professor—_ I find it degrading and humiliating that you would deliberately put all of the women in the class on the spot in a public display which will undoubtedly reveal to every boy in the class our level or lack of sexual familiarity, AND SECONDLY" she said louder, so that a very angry Snape would not be tempted to interrupt her, "I see that you, as a man, managed to do fine as a Potions Master without ever himself having to pick a bellflower."

She had a point. But he was Snape, the great and powerful Master of Potions, Head of Slytherin, and he bloody well would not stand for her cheek.

"GET OUT, Miss Granger! And do not presume to come here and lecture me on what you find is or isn't appropriate for your delicate nature! AND do not presume to speak for your other classmates who are not here to speak for themselves!" He ushered her quickly out the classroom, the heavy oak door slamming behind her.

_'Damn it to hell!' _They both thought the same thing without knowing it._ 'This makes things difficult.'_

_'Well Professor, if that's the way you want to play it….'_

Hermione was already drawing up the paperwork to show Pansy before class tomorrow. She charmed her pin and the meeting time was set. She began by inquiring amongst the students which classes had been asked to participate in a similar exercise, supposing some other classes and grades had been offered the same exercise as well.

Indeed, that was the case. All of the Gryffindor third years and up reported the same exercise, the first and second years had their classes today. Many were already pink in the face discussing the reactions of their peers, and maybe… their parents— at finding out the truth. But Hermione was concerned more with the advanced students.

_'Wait a moment, maybe a petition would do much better if it were broader than just this one class exercise?'_ Hermione tore up her parchment and started over.

_ 'It might need tweaking'_ she thought. _'But for now, it'd have to do.'_ On a separate scrap she wrote, _'talked to Snape, lets meet late to discuss signatures. This could work.'_

She made several copies and passed one out to Ginny for her to help gather signatures, and Pansy very discretely before Transfiguration. Pansy scanned it quickly before class and Hermione saw her give a serious look of disbelief. Hermione tried to telepathically tell her 'later', or at least mouth it. Instead she gave up and tapped her cloak's clasp with her finger to signal her. She couldn't wait for nine o'clock. They needed nearly a hundred signatures by tomorrow.

By lunchtime, Ginny and Hermione hit up most of the Gryffindors. All of them had already had Potions and especially a few younger years didn't want their status known. Hermione talked to the Ravenclaw Prefect who had Advanced Potions that morning— and gratefully with only a little grumbling about wording, she took the parchment and discreetly collected signatures from the other girls, without the boys being any the wiser. That was a feat, but the boys didn't have anything to lose in the assignment. In fact, most of them were entirely oblivious to how significant it was in the eyes of their fellow classmates.

Hermione felt a warming at her neck and she glanced at her pin_. 5 minutes. Front steps._

She abandoned her lunch and met Pansy, everyone else still inside. They huddled next to a set of bushes near a bench at the top of the steps.

Pansy handed over a complete list of signatures. "I don't believe it," Hermione said.

"Me neither," echoed Pansy. "But they are all there. Even Millicent Bulstrode was the first to sign. I think they're pretty shaken about Kendra and the others. They don't want their virginity or lack thereof to be announced to the whole school. How are you coming?"

"Gryffindor is done, Ravenclaw is coming along, and Hufflepuff still left."

"What did Professor Snape say to you?" Pansy elbowed her.

Hermione manage a weak smile, "Oh, something about not speaking for my classmates who aren't there to speak of themselves. Oh, and there was yelling… and sneering."

"Sounds like him. Won't he be surprised." Pansy drawled.

"Well, I didn't mean to signal him out. That's why I made it so broad. I'd hate to have to do this twice." Hermione looked at the front door and she and Parkinson abruptly broke. Students were filing out and Hermione tapped the parchment and hid it in her robes, away from prying eyes.

--------------

"Sorry about yesterday," Harry said over dinner in hushed tones. "I wasn't thinking."

"S'alright." Hermione said distractedly, picking at her food. She looked at the Hufflepuff table where the girls were quietly huddled together at one end, obviously discussing the petition away from their male counterparts.

Harry nudged her to get her attention. "No, it's not alright. What are you planning to do?"

"You'll see." There was a mischievous glint in her amber eyes.

"That sounds big. Are you staging a coup?" He laughed a bit light-heartedly. Some days, Harry was really too quick on the uptake. But she was confident he hadn't heard a thing. Harry was too direct of a friend to beat around the bush like that.

"Or something. Maybe lifetime detention," Hermione joked, but half-serious.

"I can't wait. Can I come?" He coerced a giggle from her at last, and Harry was relieved that the serious look on Hermione's face had finally been replaced by laughter lines. She was looking far too stern for only the second day of school.

--------

"How many did you get?" Pansy asked.

Hermione was still counting. Pansy looked over her shoulder.

"Wow." They both said.

"What to we do now? Are you going to tell him?"

"With pleasure," she young witch replied smugly, proud of their accomplishment. Hermione smiled and pocketed her copy of the parchment, making three additional copies— one for herself, one for Pansy and one for Dumbledore.

"Gryffindor's going to lose the House Cup, you know?" Pansy taunted.

"I would wish you congratulations already, but it's only the second day of school." Hermione frowned at the Slytherin but only playfully. She hoped her peers would forgive her. She suspected her House's reputation was about go up in a wisp of smoke.

----------

Severus Snape had been startled yesterday by Hermione's reaction. She had overreacted. It wasn't that serious an issue, at least from his point of view. But there had been leering amongst the male members of the class. He'd have to keep a more careful watch out for that. One would think students would get into less trouble when they got older, not more. At Hogwarts, older students grew more foolish, not less. It was true for him too at that age. He decided he wouldn't bring it up with Dumbledore, though he was all too eager to be a willing ear to the staff, particularly to him. But Snape was the kind of man who kept things to himself. This circumstance was no different.

Snape sat at his workspace, deep in thought over the book laid out before him. Any number of things could go wrong, and his still hadn't read far enough in the book to know what he was planning. He wished the Dark Lord would just call them to a meeting and tell them the plan. Lately however, He was becoming more suspicious of his followers. He sent each of them on different errands and kept those assignments secret from other members.

There was a knock at the door and Snape felt it was too early for visitors. He hoped it wouldn't be Hermione. Yesterday had been awful. He was still absorbing what she had said. He did notice the look in other boys faces at the mention of the assignment, but that was to be expected. They snickered over everything. Any thing regarding sexuality would be laughed at. At this rate, it would be a funny year. But he wasn't looking forward to his first class.

The door opened and Snape didn't look up.

"I need my book back, Severus. How much longer do you need it?"

He sighed. "Remus." _Thank Merlin_. "As long as possible…it's fascinating though completely revolting. There's a bit too much focus on torturing virgins to obtain magical abilities…pretty archaic really. The tome is so old, I wonder if there was ever any truth to it. I'm only a quarter of the way through."

"You're too slow. I need to the book for classes this week. Maybe I can find something you didn't."

Snape just glared. _'I'm not too slow, I'm busy.'_

"Where did you leave off?" Remus asked.

"My place is marked," Snape dismissed him with an irritated wave. As Remus was leaving, Snape added. "Work quickly, Lupin. We need answers soon." Remus knew it. Snape would need to see the Dark Lord soon, and they didn't know how much time they had.

----------------------

Snape's class began where it let off Monday. "The blood of a virgin is extremely powerful. Most spells don't call for it anymore, because it's too rare to find, too expensive to purchase, and incredibly tricky to collect."

Some of the boys, particularly Draco Malfoy scoffed at that. _How difficult could it be?_

Snape met his gaze and addressed that class's unspoken question. "It is difficult because the virgin in question must be a willing participant in the collection of it… and I don't mean blood from the arm, I am referring to blood collected from the hymen. Ladies and gentlemen, if at this point in your lives you need further explanation, I would suggest speaking to your parents, to Madame Pomfrey, or make a trip to the library." He gave a deadly look to the students which put a halt to any raised hands. There were no questions.

"Drop for drop, blood of this variety costs what the vender _says _it does. Therefore healing potions derived from this are hardly used anymore, though if one was prepared they are incredibly potent, more so than that of phoenix tears. Why are they so potent? Anyone?"

Three female students' hands shot in the air, and Snape's lips curled in appreciation of whose hands were absent. "That's too easy. C'mon gentlemen, you are being shown up."

"Because they're pure?"

"Give me something more… and your guessing Mr. Jeffries. Anyone else?"

Snape finally recognized Hermione. When he wanted the correct answer he knew he could count on her, and it was painful to see too many students guess wrongly. "Miss Granger."

"Sir, potions using virgin's blood are more potent when the virgin resists strong desires. The harder a woman fights her desire, the stronger the magic contained in her blood. It is said that the older that a virgin is, the more temptations she has been exposed to than those younger than her, so generally an older virgin possess stronger blood magic." Hermione met his gaze and gave him a mature and thorough answer.

An expressionless Snape just stared at her as she answered. The completeness of her answer shouldn't have startled him, it was just that this information was so hard to come by. She had been studying very rare texts.

"Ten points to Gryffindor," he said quietly. She tried to remain calm. He had never done that before. Even the Slytherin students were surprised.

"Now we come to it." He began, fingers interlocked, pacing the dungeon classroom. "The potion we will be preparing at the end of class is remarkably simple, and is actually a pomade. The stems and leaves from the bellflowers must be avoided as they contain chemical components that will act as a poison instead of a cure. _I repeat_— anything that is not a petal can be _deadly_. The petals must be removed and mashed, the oils of the flowers are the only binding agent, so petals must be selected carefully to ensure a good result. The oils in the flower are the key to the success, and the petals themselves are poisonous to the recipient of the cure."

Hands shot up in the air. "But Professor, how can you administer the cure without the person ingesting the petals?" One girl asked.

He was annoyed at the interruption and deferred to another member of the class. "Mister Malfoy, would you care to explain how it might be possible to avoid poisoning your patient while administering the cure?"

"Yes sir. You said this is a pomade and that means it is a topical balm. It does not have to be ingested to be administered." Draco said smugly. It was an easy answer. No points were awarded.

"You will find this is true for many pomades and potions involving use of flowers, so when using flora, you must always study and read carefully all information pertaining to those ingredients _before_ you brew…" Snape glared at his students who he knew did not apply themselves nearly enough in this area. "Most potions recipes will not provide warning labels or lead you by the hand through basic potion making safety. Many people have poisoned themselves or others to death attempting to concoct the simplest of medicines."

The lecture continued. "While the bellflowers must be picked by a virgin, anyone can prepare _this _antidote. This is not always true of other pomades, so please take care _not to over-generalize_ the preparation of this remedy to others." Snape's silky professorial drawl was harsh, a reprimand in advance for future stupidity. The results of his strictness usually resulted in fewer mistakes and explosions in the classroom. It helped that most students were terrified of him. However this was a more advanced class, and these sixth year students were becoming a bit numb to his sarcasm. He had to try harder to keep them in tune to the dangers of brewing.

"You will only need your wands and can take notes on your return from the Forbidden Forest. There are only certain places where bellflowers can be picked, and boys please do not be tempted to pick any… there are precious few left mature enough to be useful." Many of the students rose and shuffled feet could be heard. Snape was already sweeping toward the door.

All of the girls were looking around at each other, waiting for someone to say something.

Hermione raised her hand and Snape turned, aware that not everyone had followed suit.

He gritted his teeth and dared her to respond. "Miss Granger, it there a problem?"

She took a deep breath to steady her nerves. Anger flared again, seeing the boys staring at the rest of the class. None of the girls had stood. "Yes sir. I had discussed with you previously our concerns about participating in this exercise…"

"And I believe _I _discussed with _you_ that it is inappropriate for you to presume your classmates wishes and speak for them!" He growled. "If you do not wish to participate you will receive a zero for the grade, and a detention for disrupting this class!" Harry's jaw dropped but Hermione stood, and pulled the scroll from her robes. Snape could hardly believe her behavior. Hermione always reacted negatively to any disruption. She was easily offended, quick to react to anything. Today she was calm and organized.

He snatched the scroll from her grasp and unrolled it with a venomous sneer. "What is this?" He did not expect for her to be so prepared. All of the girls held their breath as he read and watched his expression change. His eyes darted about the parchment as he read:

_"We, the female student body of Hogwarts, collectively refuse to participate in any activity which might place us, or a fellow classmate, in danger. This includes participation in activities which may embarrass, humiliate, or otherwise single out one student against another for no useful purpose. _

_We understand that all learning involves trial and error, practice and failure. While we submit ourselves to normal practical efforts in class which accompany our studies, we will respectfully decline any activities which may focus on or single out one group more than another, be it Muggleborn or Pureblood, female or male, et cetera._

_We, the female students of Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and Slytherin have come together as one group to sign this petition: not as a means of being defiant or obstinate, nor of being disrespectful or ungrateful of the considerable time this school and its staff have invested in furthering our magical learning. Rather, we are making a plea for understanding that some class assignments may have the unintentional effect of causing secondary harm by violating the privacy of its students resulting in consequences outside of the control of the school's management."_

There were several pages and the signature of every girl at Hogwarts was there. The muscles in his face began to pulse and he looked ready to explode.

"Are all of you prepared to receive a zero?" He asked the remaining girls, his beady black eyes still glaring daggers at Hermione. Each one of them stood and he knew their collective answer. One of them dared to speak.

"Sir, if the boys can't pick bellflowers, then how do they get graded?" Some other girls murmured in agreement and the revolt had started.

Snape solved the challenge immediately. "All of them will receive a zero as well." The boys gasped with resentment. "You are no longer individuals now, you function as a class. You should have thought about how this would affect the rest of your peers," he addressed the boys, "_before_ you decided to push yourself headlong into a debate about class work. Class dismissed. _Get. Out_." Snape's face was hardened and everyone disbanded quickly, in record time.

Hermione slipped out and quickly a strong arm slammed her up against the corridor wall. A large round face was breathing on her neck, smelling her hair and grunting to her. "Well Mudblood, since you were so keen on ditching this assignment and giving us a zero, perhaps I'll find out on my own how pure you are!"

"Crabbe! Come on, don't waste time on her. She's Muggle filth!" Malfoy spat, looking at Hermione in a disgusted way, Pansy was close behind him.

Crabbe's grubby hands released her and Hermione breathed a sigh of relief leaning against the cold stone wall. When Crabbe was out of sight Snape turned the corner of the door. He had heard everything.

Her golden brown eyes were glassy, jaw tight as she looked at him painfully. _Now do you understand why?!_ She screamed at him wordlessly.

"Detention, tonight, Miss Granger. 5pm. Don't be late." His tone wasn't cruel, it was almost kind. It had lost its edge.

------

Not one female student had submitted to his barked demands to go to the forest to pick bellflowers. Five o'clock detention was looming overhead, and Hermione looked forward to her Double DADA class with a good friend, Professor Remus Lupin. It was the first class of the year and Harry's and Ron's favorite. She wondered if the DA meetings would continue, but despite the exceptional teacher, she knew the DA would grow. It was like a Junior Order, even though no one had said it.

Remus Lupin was a man who dedicated himself to teaching defense. He had been self-taught even before grade school, compelled to learn as much as he could about the subject of dark arts and defensive magic. Due to his unique affliction, his parents had sheltered him quite a bit as a child, wanting to protect him from cruel ridicule and prejudice. So many people were being senselessly murdered during his Hogwarts years and afterwards during the reign of Voldemort, Remus did not limit his studies to the texts the school had offered.

Being a werewolf, there was quite a bit of discrimination against him, and therefore precious few opportunities for employment, especially with the anti-werewolf legislation pushed forward three years ago by that Umbridge woman. Now that he and Snape were on better terms through their work in the Order, the Potions Master once again prepared the Wolfsbane regularly for him, suppressing the wolfish desires and impulsive behaviors which made his condition so dangerous three days out of the month.

After last year, Dumbledore persuaded him to return to teach, feeling a bit bolstered by the formation of the DA when suitable opportunities for learning had not presented themselves. Also, with Sirius gone, the students, especially Harry, needed a teacher they would listen to and respect, perhaps even turn to for advice. Harry trusted Remus, and Remus was very willing to show the boy any guidance he could. His parents and godfather would have wanted it that way.

Being aware of the danger to virgins, Remus carefully structured his first lesson. Although there were many strong witches, as many as wizards in fact, it didn't prevent the boys in the school from holding rather chauvinistic views about women. Rather— the power of young women. He expected the students would enjoy his first class.

He read parts of different books and was disturbed that so much about the power of women had been glossed over or lost. Women's lib both in magical and non-magical worlds had used propaganda to bolster their cause, ideas long since dismissed because it was likely felt that the information wasn't needed anymore. _What was once common knowledge became known as old wives tales…_

"…And old wives tales then were dismissed as inaccurate or outdated. I can tell by the looks on some of your faces that this angers you." Professor Lupin addressed the sixth year Slytherin/Gryffindor DADA class. The girls and a few boys in the class had stern looks. "Good. You may be surprised to know that girls, in particular, girls with no sexual experience possess strong internal magic.

"That's absurd!" Dean beat Malfoy to the punch.

"You think so? So confident are you?" The boys weren't nearly so pumped. "Women who form a commitment in remaining chaste despite the advances of others, squelching her own desires, makes her more powerful…"

"You mean more sexually frustrated…" someone muttered under their breath. More giggling ensued by the boys and the girls only glared.

"Maybe… But the woman who harnesses her virginal magic recognizes the power of her own womanhood. The pure nature of a virgin can call animals to them which would otherwise be untamable: unicorns, shy animals, rare birds and the like. But innocence does not mean being naïve. Virginal magic manifests itself in different ways… growing of plants, memory charms, magic requiring clarity of thought. Transfiguration and divination are fields largely dominated by women who mastered them at a young age."

"Why those fields?" Lavender asked.

"Because they require a lot of insight, intense focus and concentration. It's no wonder why the vast majority of Animagi were women who attempted such a transformation when they were still virgins." Gasps came from the students—everyone fantasized about being able to attain an Animagus form. It was terribly rare. "Have you noticed," he addressed the boys, who were sitting in a cluster together, "that the girls may have caught on earlier than you did to complex spells requiring a lot of concentration and multiple wand movements?"

There was some grumbling, while the girls beamed. "It's true. At younger ages, women are able to focus their magic a bit better, though there is a lot of scientific argument about why this is so." The young ladies of the class were transfixed, some secretly disappointed they had given away something before they fully understood what that meant.

As Remus started his class, Hermione was already a bit suspicious of the material. It was like a morale boost for the women of the class, and also perhaps laced with hints about how to protect themselves from the unspoken threat. _How else could an Order member leak information in order to help them without tipping anyone off? _

All of the girls were grinning, relieved that someone would finally acknowledge that girl power was real.

Some of their peers were feeling pretty put out, but that only increased the pride the girls felt, and increased their confidence as they proceeded to practice advanced defensive spells and wand movements. Many of the girls did well on the first try, while many of the boys languished. Hermione thought to herself that this was as much of a self-fulfilling prophecy as it was a demonstration of potent female magic.

She noticed Pansy had a strange glint in her eye, and a feral smile. Parkinson was up to something. Hermione was beginning to like her partner in crime.

Hermione was feeling rather proud of herself all day, as she, Ginny and Pansy heard from the other students how angry Snape was at each of his classes. "Did you hear? He almost gave an entire class detention!"

"I heard an entire group of girls walked out!"

Word had gotten around, and apparently had reached the ears of her Head of House. "Miss Granger? May I have a word?" Before she knew it she was addressing the concerns of Professor McGonagall.

---------------------

Snape was not prepared for the rest of his day. He hardly expected all of the students to stand by their precious petition. The significance of the signatures had diminished for him—thinking that most had signed out of peer pressure. The girls were signing their names because everyone else did too.

That of course, was not the case. His next group of students, a younger Gryffindor/Slytherin crowd were immediately outspoken about their refusal to participate, in fact all of the girls stood up and walked out.

They walked out…of _Snape's_ class.

That irritated him more than anything. In one moment he no longer felt he could intimidate his students to comply with class rules, to obey him as their teacher. He would've taken points from Gryffindor, but then he'd have to take an equal number of points from his own house, effectively canceling each other out!

And it was all her fault. Whatever empathy he had felt for Granger that morning had evaporated in an instant and he abruptly ended class to go find her.

After yelling and interrogating a few students in the halls, he deduced that she had been ordered to speak with McGonagall so he continued his prowl to her office. He heard hear the stern firm voice already well into her tirade.

"…that was hardly an appropriate way to handle that, Miss Granger. I am very disappointed… What?" Minerva looked up from her pupil to stare at Professor Snape. He had pushed her door open without knocking, or at least his knock had not been heard by the irate head of Gryffindor. "Professor Snape! Why don't you join us…" She glared at his intrusion.

"I came for Miss Granger. I plan on taking her to the Headmaster, that is the only way we will have this matter addressed properly!" Hermione's jaw dropped at this suggestion, furious and shocked that he would dare come back after what had transpired. She was wise to stay silent.

"Why would Miss Granger need to see the Headmaster, when we can go ourselves, Severus?" Professor McGonagall's body stood tall and rigid, knuckles white with tension.

"I want her to be properly disciplined, Minerva. I don't think your mere lecture to her is going to be enough." If she was going to drop his honorific he would not use hers.

McGonagall got his meaning right away and corrected him. "Don't misunderstand me Severus. I agree with Miss Granger. Your class assignment was grossly inappropriate. If we go to the Headmaster, I assure you it won't be to talk about Miss Granger's behavior today, it will be to talk about _yours_." Her catlike scowl gave her normally stern look a horrifying appearance.

Snape felt like he had been physically struck. "How dare you presume to tell me how to run my class! Picking bellflowers is hardly a dangerous activity worthy of this kind of scrutiny, Minerva."

"Stop being deliberately obtuse. Obviously we are not going to resolve this here. Miss Granger, follow me." The head of Gryffindor House barked out orders and swept out of her office in regal fashion with two in tow. Snape took his customary long strides to match McGonagall's.

If Hermione wasn't so angry after that scene, she would have laughed out loud at the juvenile sight of her two stalking professors trying to outrun each other, practically racing to Dumbledore's office, their strides almost matching.

"Fizzing Whizbee!" They snapped out together and then scowled at each other. Albus met them at the bottommost stair.

"I would like to speak with Miss Granger, if I may." Albus gave a fatherly look at the pair of teachers and motioned for Hermione to follow him. Hermione felt a bit better about being to tell her story first. Things had changed a lot since their meeting yesterday.

"Lemon drop, Miss Granger?"

"Yes sir, thank you." Hermione took the proffered sweet and popped it in her mouth, gathering her thoughts. If she could be more organize than either of the professors maybe she would come out of this unscathed.

"It seems Professor Snape and you have spoken about your concerns." He said over steepled fingers.

"Yes sir."

"And it did not go well?"

"No sir."

"And then this came to Professor McGonagall's attention?" He supposed.

"Yes sir."

"And does she agree or disagree with your actions?"

" I think a bit of both, sir." Hermione answered with a wince.

" Would you care to explain? And take your time please. I think they need a bit of time to cool off." With a twinkle, he smiled at Hermione who agreed with him.

Hermione laid out the conversation with Snape yesterday morning and the subsequent petition. The Headmaster's eyebrows raised at the thought of every girl, signing, even the Slytherins. Hermione left the focus on the embarrassment of the girls' virginal status being known by the whole school, and the consequential altercation from a boy after her potions class that morning. She left it unspoken that she had concerns about Lord Voldemort. She knew that hadn't been forgotten.

"The petition wasn't just about Professor Snape's class, though it may have seemed like that to him. It really could have happened in any class, so we made the language broad enough to include any event," Hermione explained diplomatically.

"Thank you, Miss Granger. I understand this may not have been a pleasant experience but I am proud of your efforts in facing it directly. While I know events of late have complicated matters," he regarded her seriously and she knew he was speaking of the Order happenings, which to her had not been discussed, "I must assure you that Professor Snape did not deliberately set out to embarrass the female students in front of your male peers."

Hermione almost balked at that comment. Snape didn't miss anything. But Dumbledore was being serious, and she listened to his explanation. Snape wasn't perfect. Perhaps it was an oversight. He did have a lot on his mind. She was excused and felt pretty sure things would work out. After descending the stone steps she reluctantly met Snape's gaze, remembering her scheduled detention.

McGonagall and Snape waited there for Dumbledore. Snape grinned triumphantly. He had misinterpreted Hermione's somewhat shy look. The pair ascended to his office and the arguing began.

"Thank you for disciplining her, Headmaster. I simply cannot conduct my classes if she attempts to refuse any assignment she pleases. And entire day's worth of work in four classes was wasted," Severus sighed.

"Severus, please do not gloss over this issue by describing Hermione as merely defiant. She approached you, in private, just yesterday at my request— and you did not acknowledge the seriousness of her concerns."

Snape had his arms crossed defiantly. "I acknowledged them and told her to butt out of my lesson plan. Honestly, picking bellflowers?"

Dumbledore scowled at him and continued.

"Miss Granger's actions were perfectly justified. She was concerned about her own safety and that of her peers. I know that you witnessed the little altercation between her and Mister Crabbe after class. Surely you don't think your exercise would've benefited these girls social lives by exposing their virginal status?" The potions master opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by the woman to his left.

"Let's not mince words, gentlemen," Minerva interrupted, "and let us come to the point. We know You-Know-You is after virgins, and who knows who else is paying attention to what goes on here? Severus, you can't really think that no one else is listening to what goes on in your classes. These students came up with 130 signatures in less than 48 hours!"

Severus rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"They talk to each other," Minerva persisted. "Some of the students in your own house are being groomed for ranks among the Death Eaters. Information gets passed on, and not just from you. Miss Granger is no fool. She is wise to be concerned and not just about the safety of girls _within _these halls."

Snape sighed in resignation. He had been all ready to rant, but the same issue was staring in his face. The issue of his responsibility. "Very well. I will be more discreet as I must." They bickered a bit more, but Snape stood firm on his detention with Granger. She had disrupted an entire days worth of classes, setting him back both with his list and with lesson plans. He felt entitled to some compensation.

--------------

The whole school was buzzing about what happened and the boys were focusing on their organized effort right underneath their noses. Ron and Harry were grumbling that not Hermione nor Ginny told them about their plot to overthrow the evil git. They were so proud.

She arrived right on time, and shut the dungeon door behind her. Snape looked up from his desk, and surprisingly did not growl at her. He wasn't yelling, or taking house points. She didn't know what happened after she left Dumbledore's office, but it couldn't have been good.

"Miss Granger. It seems the Headmaster agrees that the assignment of _bellflower picking_," he rolled his eyes, "was unfair to you and your classmates. However, for our class to continue with their assignments, I still require hundred of bellflowers. I assume you know how to gather them. Hagrid will collect you and take you to the Forbidden Forest before dusk. That is your detention."

Hermione didn't know what to say. So, being a sensible student, she said the only acceptable thing.

"Yes, sir."

"Well 'ermione? Let's go." The friendly half-giant's large frame appeared in the dungeon door behind her. She followed Hagrid and he was mysteriously silent. Hagrid was surprised she had earned detention but had not yet heard the rumors floating around the school about why. Hagrid's hut was often too far away from the action.

"Hagrid, one moment okay? I need to get someone to help me." Hagrid squinted in puzzlement a bit, wondering why she would have anyone volunteer to help her in detention.

Hermione made a last minute decision and stopped by the Gryffindor common room to recruit an assistant. She was only too eager to help out, and before they knew it they were with the groundskeeper, at the edge of the forest looking for patches of bellflowers.

"Don't you think Snape meant for you ter do this yer' self?" Hagrid pointed out.

"Hagrid, trust me. Snape wouldn't like me to do this wrong," she lied. Her first of many. "We're looking for a field of cornflower blue petals… there!" Hermione pointed.

"They're so pretty!" the girl reached her hand out to pick one, but Hermione stopped her.

"Wait. There is an easier way. Hold out your arm low to the ground and make a large sweeping motion. The stems are weak and will give in easily. You'll pick hundreds of flowers in no time," Hermione instructed.

Sure enough the technique worked, and Hermione's basket was filled with flowers. The first year student beamed, glad to help the Gryffindor Prefect and an intelligent role model she looked up to.

They walked quickly back to the dungeons talking about flowers and potion making. The younger student was an intelligent girl. Hermione liked her right away. They entered the classroom and Hermione thanked her. Snape reentered the classroom, just in time to see the retreating figure of the younger girl.

"Miss Granger? What was Miss Frances doing here during _your_ detention?" He asked with a arched eyebrow.

Hermione began to stammer, "Um, I asked her to help me with the collection of bellflowers… she was happy to help, I just thought…"

"You just thought you'd give your detention to someone else?" Snape sneered creeping closer to Hermione.

"No sir…"

"Then why didn't you do it yourself?" It was a stupid question really, so Hermione thought he'd made it easy for her to oblige.

"I couldn't." She looked him dead in the eye. "Not if you wanted your supplies to be of any use." Hermione waited for the backlash.

Snape wore a shocked expression. He wasn't even angry. "Miss Granger… but you are a virgin…" _It was only the third day of school. She spent the entire summer at Headquarters…_

"I cannot possibly imagine why you would presume to know." She said curtly.

Snape took a predatory step toward her almost fierce, but protective. "Foolish girl, you are not ready for such things!"

Hermione was ready for that and hissed back. "You are right, sir, but at least it was on _my terms_!" She didn't wait to be dismissed. She didn't care. She left. There would be no independent study. She had just ruined any possibility of an amicable relationship with someone she liked and admired.

Snape was reeling from that small conversation. She had already seen to it that she was out of the running. _How much did she know?_ He remembered her conversation with Sister Mary…. _If I make one choice, I follow the teachings of the church. But if I make the other choice, I may be safer. How can the immoral choice be a good one?_ __

Harry Potter or Ronald Weasley. _Who else could be responsible? And why did he suddenly care about her honor_? _Wasn't he telling the Headmaster that he wanted the students to be loose and free? _

Hermione Granger had thrown away her virginity. He had too. Not many students were interested in him in school. Snape took the first opportunity afforded him, as many boys did. It was quick and only a briefly satisfying experience, but perhaps only for him. He had felt awkward, not really concerned with the enjoyment of his partner and wondered how patient the boy had been with her.

But she hadn't thrown her virginity away. It was deliberate. She was making a choice. She had prayed about it. He saw the whole thing unfold and hadn't fully processed it. He shook his head. _Damn him. Damn him for doing this._ At least Voldemort wouldn't get her.

----------

Hermione left a bit upset. She had lied, but that had been inevitable. She and Pansy were already plotting about baiting the rumor mill.

Snape had shocked her with his reaction. _So what if she's wasn't a virgin?_ She didn't know if she was touched that he gave a care about her status or not. She felt relieved that he wouldn't put her name on that list, and happy that she didn't give anything up to accomplish that.

Even though she was older than her peers, she still felt pretty young at times, especially in front of his stare. Sometimes Snape could see right through her and she'd have to been careful not to ruin her _reputation,_ (she laughed) by allowing the Legilimens an opportunity to see the lie behind her eyes.

Since Monday, she felt she wore her innocence like an article of clothing visible to everyone. Now she was just tucking that white sleeve underneath her cloak. She was feeling better and better with that thought and left for dinner.

-------------

Seven o'clock came and went, but no Hermione. Snape sighed deeply. He had lost a lot today. Besides respect of his students, he realized he'd have to start fresh with a promising student who had lost respect for him. And he knew he had her respect before this happened. She listened so intently in class, never missing an assignment, reading ahead in all her texts, studying all manner of other potions texts. Frequently he had gone to the library for one that she was reading. Hermione seemed so excited at the prospect of an independent study. _And damn, he had asked right after that infernal first lesson. She must have been furious… why didn't she say something then?_

As he looked back on it, Snape kicked himself as the events unfolded in his mind. The professor had been so sure of himself. Her had underestimated the comments and smirks of the boys, and didn't really think on it until the following morning after she had confronted him.

On Monday, Hermione had stood before his desk with the confident stature of Minerva. She had organized a mass uprising of every girl in Hogwarts, including Slytherin House. In June, she stood up and sung in front of Lucius Malfoy and pocketed the device being sought out to destroy young girls like her, running into danger at great personal risk. _When had she become a woman?_

He turned back to his the task at hand. Trying to come up with lesson plan which would provide him with info he needed, he decided on a rather sneaky potion, whose side benefits were little known. The Brownheimer Antidote.

**Author's Notes:**

Finally the italics issue can be fixed! No more spacing problems now we have the new loading feature! Yay! Next chapter, the aftermath of the revolt… surprise from Fred and George… Snape confronts Hermione about her project…. And more news on a certain book. Wink!

Many thanks to my beta: _The Klingon Mistress_ (name in flashing lights!) who is helping me to work on my flow, endless run-on sentences with too many prepositions, commas and other ramblings.

Tigress12: _Thank you very much, here is the next installment. Still intrigued myself with calligraphy, I'm looking into local associations here to see if I dare pick up another hobby._

Athene Saile: _Yup, you got it.. and while I have some idea how, I'm still making it up as I go along. Hee hee._

Thursdayschild: _here's the update, hope you didn't have to wait too long. More interaction between the nasty potions master and Minerva's prized pupil coming up._

Wackoramaco87: _No rushing. Impossible with this story line. S'no fun if it goes too quickly. I like angst._

Wytil:_ Thanks! And why wouldn't you want your daughter-in-law to read it? Is she just too busy?_

Romm:_ Poor Snape doesn't stand a chance. Wait until Albus figures it out…_

hannah:_ Thank you, thank you. I will try to work on Pansy's character a bit in the next chapter. Woo hoo! Coming soon…_

lyress:_ Not those kind of Books in the room of requirement, it's like hit and miss there. There is going to be some stealth involved in… nope can't say anymore! Ha!_

Alicat999:_ Here's what you do to a guy who forces you to pick flowers. Yup Snape can't always be nice, have to give him some kind of edge. I'll have to see if I can put in some more snippets of his Royal Snarkiness._

xmaverick14x_: I got yo' update right he-yah!_

Ezmerelda:_ Thanks and Hermione would never do that! In fact, that will become quite key… as you may have noticed in the poem. Thanks I love my beta too. I realize we may miss things though, let me know if you have thoughts that would make the story flow better._

Jade:_ Once again, excellent suggestion. Don't want to say to much. I have just one word: Pansy._

Geek Goddess: _Thank you! Hope you like Remus' lecture. Wait til the group forms, maybe next chapter, to just into the 12h chapter._


	11. The Brownheimer Antidote

Disclaimer:  Everything in the Harry Potter kingdom belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Hey y'all!  I know you've been waiting but here it is!  A very super long chapter (I count it as two… didn't know where to make the split, thank you for all of your reviews!  They really keep me going!  This version is un-betaed, and will reload the corrected version ASAP.  Hope you enjoyed the new movie.  I missed some of the book content and our dear Professor Snape, but it would probably be three hours long if they did it my way.  Can't wait to see deleted scenes. 

**Chapter Eleven:         The Brownheimer Antidote**

Pansy Parkinson lived a spoiled life.  She was the pureblood daughter of Roman Patrick Parkinson and Patricia Parkinson, an high-society magical couple with a long family history of servitude to the Dark Lord.   Pansy was an intelligent girl, without too much social charisma to charm her way through life as her mother had.  Seeing her parents curtsy, court and lie their way through various gatherings was really not for her.  Pansy could lie, and she was good at it… but curtsying and brown-nosing was not her thing. 

Her parents were wealthy, so Pansy's summers usually consisted of vacations abroad, and having to tolerate elaborate dinner functions and other engagements.  When she turned 16, her mother wanted to have a coming of age party for her, a formal cotillion to draw in potential future marital prospects.  Pansy supposed it was really an opportunity for her mother to rub shoulders with other elite purebloods like the Malfoys. 

She liked Draco, she was even attracted to him, but around his family?  During those functions?  It just left a sour taste in her mouth.  She managed to avoid the ball after her father's shocking revelation.  Merlin, the summer at her Aunt Marcelle's was the worst summer she could remember spending ever.  She woke up every night in a cold sweat half expecting to be kidnapped form her own bedroom, especially after the report on Kendra.

It was unusual this year that Hogwarts became her sanctuary instead of the other way around.  Pansy didn't really feel like she fit in with her peers, even in Slytherin House.  She avoided pleasantries, was known to get into fights.  Sure she chummed around with Malfoy and some of his slimy goony friends, laughing at their stupid practical jokes and slurs.  It was something she subjected herself to because she didn't have many other friends.  The best she could do was keep up her tough girl image, and it wasn't an act.  Pansy was a bitch, and she was proud of it.  People didn't ask questions when she received an O in several of her Owls.  There was no cheering, no pats on the back.  Her parents didn't really notice.  They hadn't expected her to further her education after Hogwarts.  They expected her to get married and produce heirs. 

Now Kendra— she understood.  She was her friend, and a pureblood witch who had to put up with the same pretentious crap Pansy did.  Kendra knew how hard Pansy had studied for her Owls, and that Pansy didn't have the first clue what she wanted to do after graduation, except _not_ procreate.  With nothing to do but study for a unknown future, it seemed a bit odd that she was rather enjoying the prospect of avoiding her father's decision to sacrifice her, while at the same time making sure that no one else would get the same fate. 

_This one's for Kendra.  _She paced back and forth concentrating on how to get out of the mess, about DADA class that day, about who to shag… and the door appeared.

Hermione arrived at the usual time for debriefing, surprised to see Pansy had beaten her there.  Merlin, it had only been three days in to the term and already they had their first major threat averted.  She appreciated Hermione's suggestion about the rumor mill, but truly the only way to guarantee they couldn't be used would be to actually 'do the deed' and have sex… or something.

"Hermione, good work today.  I'm surprised you're still alive after detention with Snape.  How an earth did you manage not to lose house points today?"  Pansy laid into the conversation taking charge.

"Honestly, I don't know.  It's a miracle."  She laughed, relieved from the outcome, but still a little disappointed about her lost of the extra project.

"What did he make you do?"

"What do you think?"  Hermione shrugged.  "He asked me to pick bellflowers.  He needed them for class." 

Pansy looked shocked, then her eyes widened with a smirk.  "So what did you do?  You refused, right?"

"No, I went and collected bellflowers."  Hermione led her on innocently.

"You didn't!  You chicken shit!  What on earth did you do all that work for...." but Pansy trailed off when she saw the smug smile on her face.  "Okay.  Give."

"I took a first year with me and had her pick them, then Snape confronted me about it and I told him that I couldn't."

"Fuck, Hermione!  What did he say when you told him you weren't a virgin?"  Pansy was grinning ear to ear, she had to give her credit.  _Lying to Snape's face, wow, even people in her own house couldn't do that._

"Actually I didn't quite say it like that.  I just said that I wanted to do it on 'my own terms' and left," she said with a sly smile.

"On _your own terms_.  Interesting choice of words…  Guess what?"

"What?"  Hermione asked, intrigued by Pansy's change of tone.

Pansy thought a moment then changed her mind.  "No never mind.  I'll save it.  It's a surprise."  Pansy was being horrible and she knew it, but better not to mention something that she couldn't deliver.  _Get it first, then brag on it._

"No tell me now.  C'mon, you can't say that and the not tell!"  Hermione whined in frustration..

"Watch me."  Hermione scowled.  "Hey, what was all that about on DADA today?  What do you make of that?"  Pansy changed the subject.

"At first I thought he was just trying to build up morale, but then… I'm not so sure.  It would be neat to know where he got that information from.  Makes me want to find out if he knows what You-Know Who is up to.  Not that he'll tell us."

"I gotta go study, we have double Charms tomorrow,"  Pansy said reaching for the door handle.

"I know.  I still have our Protean Charm essay to finish.  Too much time spent on that petition really put me behind. See ya."  Hermione adjourned for the evening, still distracted by the days events, and the surprisingly jovial conversation with a girl she would never had suspected to be a potential friend or ally.

-----------------

Late at night, a familiar crowd of Slytherin girls assumed their positions in the girls dorm, seated around the windowsill where Millicent Bulstrode could blow smoke outdoors.

"So, do you think Granger's a virgin?"  Millicent asked crudely, flicking her cigarette.  Only she would pick up such a disgusting Muggle habit.

"No.  Why else do you think she went out of her way to circulate that petition?"  Daphnesaid.  "She probably didn't want anyone to find out she's not so innocent as everyone thinks.  Looks like Little Miss Perfect, ahem, I mean Prefect… has had a few more experiences than anyone knows about."

"I saw her sneaking into a closet with some guy last Saturday."  Pansy thought this was a perfect way to start the rumor. She'd need to remember to tell her that, before she found out through the grapevine.

"Really?  I thought the only thing the Know-It-All would consider shagging is the end of her own wand!"   Millicent Bulstrode howled, the girls laughed— and then the laughter subsided, with the wicked looks replaced by grave cheerless eyes.  Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea.

"Good for her, at least she's safe," one of them said taking a swig from a flask being passed around.

"What do you care about some Mudblood?"  Millicent challenged.

"Give me a break, you wouldn't wish Kendra's fate on anyone,"  Daphne snapped.

"Shut up Greenwood!  You don't know anything about what happened.  She could be fine."  Pansy growled harshly at Daphne, trying her best to reassure herself.

"Yeah right, she's probably in Greece right now, living it up on her allowance!"  Millicent howled sarcastically, effectively shutting off that stupid line of nonsense.

"Has anyone heard from…"  Linda asked.

All the girls shook their heads.  No news on Melanieeither, the youngest of the missing, only just in her Fourth Year.  Pansy was taking mental notes.  These girls might be potential candidates for the group if they could manage to keep quiet.

Silence dominated the room and the air was thick with the discomfort of fear.  "Okay.  What about the rest of you?"  Millicent asked, taking another long drag of her cigarette.  "Who had already done the horizontal duel?  And shut up Parkinson, we know all about _you_…"  Millicent blew out the smoke and rubbed out her cigarette on the ledge.

A few of the girls made a retching sound at her choice of words.   Eyes began darting around waiting for someone to speak.

"Don't look at me… I only just kissed Goyle last term,"  Daphnereluctantly admitted.

"Ewww!"  Several people shouted. "Eurgh!"  Daphne's sentiments exactly.  She took another swig.

"Ha!"  Millicent exclaimed.  "All of us are screwed except Pansy!  Actually, all of us are _not_ screwed except Pansy."  She chuckled.

"We should do something about that,"  Pansy muttered under her breath.

"What are you getting at?"  Lindaasked with suspicion.

"I mean maybe all of us would be safer if we all took matters into our own hands and got laid."  Pansy explained.

"What?  And give up all of our special powers?"  Millicent kidded, referring Lupin's lecture on virginal magic.  "Hah, ha!"

The girls were silent and looking around again.  It wasn't a bad idea.

Daphnespoke up.  "I don't think I'm ready for that yet.  You can laugh, but seriously, can you think of one person you would like to have sex with?  And don't wimp out and mention one of the Weird Sisters or someone famous, because we all know that's not gonna happen."

"The boys here act too stupid to be remotely attractive,"  Linda said.

"Speak for yourself, they grow on you after a while,"  Pansy argued, thinking about Draco.  "The point is, it's not whether or not you're ready— it's that you're not ready to lose it under whatever circumstances our father's see fit."

"What?!  It's not like your Dad offered _you _up Parkinson, so butt out…"  Pansy paled and Millicent did a double take.  All of the girls noticed.  Millicent stared at her in disbelief, adopting a softer, hollow tone, "He did, didn't he?"

Pansy looked up and barely nodded.

Daphne saw her expression. "So you are too.  All that shit Davies and Flint said… It was all talk, wasn't it?"

Pansy didn't respond.  She didn't need to.

Once again the room was quiet and not even Millicent Bulstrode came up with a sassy comment after that exchange.

Pansy made a command decision.  "Listen, would you be interested in forming a little group, a _secret _group, to make sure we couldn't be used?"

The girls looked around in shock, not expecting this kind of offer.  A few nodded.

"It would need to remain totally secret.  Like you said Daphne, the boys here…  they can't be trusted."

"I'm in."  Daphne said immediately.

"Yeah, me too."  Linda agreed.  A few more nods.

"Just wait, and I'll get us together soon."  Pansy stole her first and only swig out of the flask and left.

----------------

Hermione snuck back to the common room, where the Fat Lady gave her a stern look, before she asked the password.

"What?"  Hermione bristled.

"You are staying out mighty late these days."  The Fat Lady scolded in her formal tones.

"Maybe so, but it was important.  Kneazle Fur…"  The door swung open as the portrait bristled at her abruptness.  She threw her satchel down by the couches and spread out on the floor.  Not too long afterward she was accosted by her friends.

"Hermione!  Where were you?" Harry asked.

" 'Mione, I didn't get to see you much after class.  Harry told me all about it— that was bloody brilliant!"  Ron said.

"Thanks, but I want to _stress_, that it wasn't _just me_ that did this.  All of the girls signed the petition, I couldn't have done it without all of us together.  I bet even Dumbledore wouldn't have gone for it otherwise," she explained.  She really didn't want a reputation as a rebel.

Ginny spoke up next, "Professor McGonagall and Snape were arguing outside of Dumbledore's office. They were so angry…"

"You should have seen it!  I thought they were going to duel!"  Fred piped up.

"Yeah, we were all ready to place bets."  George said.

"Fred, George… what are you doing here?"  Hermione asked.

"Juts making a few special deliveries to students in need of a little _recreational_ activity." Fred winked.

"Skiving Snackbox sales are up," George echoed.

"Hem, Hem."  The running joke from the Umbridge year… 'hem, hem' meant trouble.  The voice of Professor McGonagall sounded from the portrait hole.  "Boys, I am aware that Professor Dumbledore has loaned you a workspace, and you only have a few classes.  Neither your classes, nor your workroom lies within these walls and so you may not be here.  You are not Gryffindors this year, much as we all miss you," she said with a hint of sarcasm.  "If you wish to rejoin the group, only three days into the semester, I am sure the Headmaster could address that with you."

"No, ma'am.  We were just saying…"  George and Fred began.

"I am very well aware of what you were doing, and you are not permitted to solicit here, Mister Weasley.  Not when you were students, and not now." There were three Mister Weasleys in front of her.  Fred and George dare not ask which one of them she was referring to.  "The rest of you lot, can just pass along to your friends that anyone seen vomiting or bloody in my classroom will promptly be made to chew the other half of whatever it is they ingested earlier. And if you are caught skipping _any_ of your classes, it will be _one-hundred_ points taken for _each_ infraction from any Gryffindor student.  Do I make myself clear?"  She had her arm out, showing them the door.

"Yes, ma'am." was the collective reply.  McGonagall looked a bit wistful seeing them leave. They were troublemakers, but they were her troublemakers, and Hogwarts was a little empty without their plotting. 

Fred and George looked back at Hermione and gave the big thumbs up, winking and mouthing a 'brilliant.' High praise from the masters of mischief.

"I really need to finish this," Hermione said pointing to her charms essay.

"Aw 'Mione you can do that in your sleep.  You've been able to do the Protean Charm since last year!"  Ron exclaimed.

"Actually Ron, if I am sleeping, I am unable to write." She rolled her eyes.

"Alright, we'll go,"  Harry said, tugging his red-haired sidekick along.

Ginny stayed behind.  "How'd everything go with Pansy?" She whispered.

"Fine.  Actually, things are better than I expected. I can't believe things worked out so well."

"Is it time to get the group together yet?"  Ginny asked.

"Soon, I think.  Any more news on who is and who's not a virgin?"

"Actually, a lot of the girls were talking amongst themselves while petitions were being signed— these three aren't."  Ginny passed her a slip of paper so she could correct her master list.

"Thanks.  See you in the morning." Ginny got to her feet to let her finish the homework.  "Thanks, Ginny. Really.  I'm so glad I have someone to talk to.  Harry and Ron…they're no use with this."

"Well, they're boys aren't they?  They don't really get it."  Ginny sighed.

"Hey!" Hermione called out.  "How are things going between you two?"

"Better.  Haven't really had time to do anything except talk about Quidditch practice.  We are supposed to go out on the first Hogsmeade weekend, but we haven't heard about when that will be yet.  Kind of worries me, McGonagall hasn't come to talk to us about that yet.  What do you think?"

"I don't know… hopefully they won't cancel them all together."  Hermione thought they might just do that.  _What an opportune time for Death eaters to kidnap some of the students_?

"Thank you for leaving me with that reassuring thought.  Good night."  Ginny left sulking.  Hermione really was such a strict thinker sometimes.  She'd make a good teacher someday.

Hermione worked until midnight, her eyes beginning to droop.  Maybe Ron was right, she could do this in her sleep.  Her eyes popped open for the third time and she looked at the last sentence.  The words had gotten tinier and tinier, and then overlapped in some wicked illegible scrawl.  She crossed it out and rewrote it correctly.  It would have to do, otherwise the end of her essay would be nonsense.

She dreamed about her day, relieving it over and over again in her mind.  But when she got to her detention, returning with the bellflowers, the part where Snape was calling her a foolish girl, they were nose to nose… heads bending closer together, then she felt warm lips kiss her.  It was all fuzzy.  The alarm rang, and she woke up— trying to cling to that thread of the dream she wanted to savor.  She slapped the clock furiously with her hands, the last images of her dream faded beyond recollection. 

_Crap.  It was Thursday_.

-----------

The petition and revolt was the talk of the school. Hermione trudged through her day, receiving various looks from boys and pats on the back from girls.  Feeling the staring of her peers, she wondered if this was something akin to what Harry had to put up with.  It was the beginning of a new school year, and still the first years were stealing glances at his scar, acclimating to studying with the legendary wizard. 

The weekend came and went, the second week of school.  It was life as usual, and by the weekend the petition gossip was replaced by other school scandal.  She studied hard, and found herself on Monday sitting in Double Potions with Snape, for the first time since the revolt.  She tried to push back thoughts of last Wednesday and her dream. She hoped he wouldn't still be angry.

"Today, we will be continuing with the pomade.  On the table in front of you, you have a bundle of bellflowers.  Remember what I said about the leaves and stems being poisonous and remove them.  It you see any trace of flower parts clinging to the petal _discard it._  I do not want any students poisoned today.  Use an immaculately clean mortar and pestle and crush the petals.  The oils will be released and eventually you should have a paste.  You may begin."

A hand rose in the air.  "Yes, Mister Potter."

"Sir, what condition is the antidote used to treat?"  Harry inquired.

"It only took this class three sessions to ask me.   Honestly, this is advanced potions isn't it?"  He said dryly, searching his syllabus.  Some of the class laughed.  Hermione relaxed, he was in good spirits today.  "It is used to treat exposure to snake poisons used in dark magic.  The person feels brief euphoria and confusion at administration, the oils from the flower absorb the poison and the negative energy which accompanies it, and the body harmlessly discards it.  Results are immediate."  The class was in awe and immediately the sounds of pounding could be heard.  Students would stop and start, looking intermittently at their crushed blue tissue, feeling they weren't making any progress.

After inspecting all of the flowers, Hermione immediately put the bowl in her lap and pulverized the delicate flowers constantly, not stopping.  She saw the beginnings of the oils being released and the room became fragrant with their aroma.  She was so focused on her task at hand that she didn't notice Snape staring at her.

She tried a different approach after the oils were released.  The petals were wet, so she took the implement and began to rub the petals against the marble.  Slowly the paste began to form and she returned the bowl a few minutes later to her desk, her arms tired, and her palms red and sweaty from her laboring.  She rubbed them on her robes and peering in, satisfied with the pale blue substance she saw.  She was the first to finish, though some of her classmates had given up.

Snape approached her table and looked at her work.  She did it.  _Why did this surprise him?_  Only sheer stubborn will made her complete the arduous assignment, as he had purposefully made it nearly impossible for the students to complete their task.  This class wasn't meant to be easy, but Hermione completed it in spite of the equipment used.  None of the other students completed their work, their petals crushed but useless. 

Before he adjourned the class,  Hermione's hand rose.  Everyone looked at her, expecting some additional revelation of mutiny.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" Snape sighed as if annoyed.

"I was thinking, Professor, that maybe a different type of implement should be used for grinding.  If the materials used in the mortar and pestle are sufficiently hard enough and the surface of both is rough instead of smooth, the petals will be macerated much faster and the oils won't have a chance to dry out."  That was what had happened to the other students, but no one had mentioned it. No one asked for help from Professor Snape.  She had found the perfect conclusion to his class.

"Very good.  Finally."  He sighed as if waiting for this all along.  "I expect all of you to be more than warm bodies, and to do more than come to class and pay attention.  I expect you to ask questions and ask for assistance.  I saw how many of you became frustrated with your assignment very early, and yet you said nothing.  I expect you to notice what is missing from your workspace, challenging the content of the texts you are reading.  That is the purpose of taking _advanced_ potions."  Snape concluded.  "Class dismissed.  Miss Granger, I'd like a word with you."

Each of students left silently contemplating his last words, passing worried glances Hermione's way.  Pansy left last, looking behind with a grimace.

Which left just the two of them.

"Miss Granger, I was disappointed that you skipped our independent study last Wednesday."  Snape said, looking down his crooked nose at her.

"I'm sorry.  I thought after what happened, that you wouldn't want to continue…" She apologized uncomfortably.

"I assure you, I am quite able to survive that little escapade."  He waved it off.  "But there is still your interest in potions to consider."

"Yes, Sir.  Thank you.  You said you have other books for me to study?"  She sat up straight in her seat, eager for new material.

He looked at her knowingly and handed her two new tomes.  She resisted the urge to peel through them right there, but waited for instructions.  His lips curled a bit as saw her fingers tightly grip the binding.  Snape was possessive of his books too.  And Lupin still had the one he had been wanting a second glance at.

"Your study will focus on ways to conserve natural resources, by trying to locate alternatives to substitute in place of rarer potions ingredients.  I hope you won't be too disappointed that we won't be brewing things which are terribly difficult.  In fact most of the things we try will be fairly common.  But the consequences of such research..." 

"Will save money and save limited resources for potions which require them, instead of using one ingredient for all potions where the purpose is only to act as a catalyst."  She finished.

Hermione's attentive look couldn't have appeared more interested.  He was talking about his book, his proposition to the scientific community.  She had thought about this all summer.  Her personal notes were still locked in her dresser.

He looked at her in wonderment.  "Yes.  Can you think of ingredients where this would be so?"

It would be too easy, almost cheating, to name the ones he had listed in his book, so she opted for something different.  "Aconite."

His brow furrowed at her suggestion and frowned.  _Maybe she didn't understand._  "That plant is very abundant."

"Yes sir, but think of the sheer quantities which must be used for a variety of potions.  It uses the same rich soil  that a lot of other plants require and drains it entirely of nutrients.  If an alternative could be found for _that_ plant, that soil could be used to harvest other plants.  Once aconite is planted, it takes three years for the soil to be fertile enough to grow anything potion worthy."

That's why he had pressed Albus to let him teach her.  She had already offered a scenario that hadn't occurred to him.  "Interesting observation, Miss Granger.  Read those texts, and take your time, they aren't light reading.  Then make your notes and ideas and meet here on Wednesday at seven."

"Yes, sir.  Thank you, Professor Snape."  She took the large tomes and book bag and left, thrilled that she had a second chance to participate on the very project she felt she had shared with him already.

-----------------

Pansy tended to go unnoticed by many of the students in Slytherin house.  She was often in her room, or in a corner reading or studying, but mostly she liked to observe and spy on her classmates.  Pansy wasn't sorted by mistake.  She had watched her parents ruthlessly blackmail and gossip about other families to their benefit.  She knew the value of information, especially in an unreal place such as a private boarding school where _these_ students were forced to cohabitate.

It was on one of these occasions, seated in a corner, curled up with a Transfiguration text, that she blended in with her surroundings so well, that she was passed unnoticed by Malfoy and Goyle.

"I overheard my Dad talking about the end of the year,"  Goyle said in hushed tones.

"Shut your trap about it.  We shouldn't be talking about that here,"  Draco hissed.

"I'm turning seventeen this spring.  I think my Dad wants me to take the mark then, but I always thought we'd get ours together y'know?"  Goyle continued on a different topic, but same forbidden subject:  Death Eater business.

Draco looked at Goyle with a skeptical eye.  "From what I've heard about initiations, I'm not so sure you would _want _additional witnesses." Goyle looked a bit panicked.  "I don't turn 17 until next summer, so I plan to wait as long as I can.  We need to focus on our studies now.  There will be plenty of time for service later.  The Dark Lord doesn't like stupid followers."  Draco's haughty speech sounded rehearsed.  It was an echo of his father's lecture to him over the summer.

"Hey Draco?  Do you believe what they said about Kendra?"  Pansy's ears pricked up and she could barely breathe.

"I haven't heard anything so stop believing rumors,"  Draco admonished.

"Do you think that her Dad would actually sacrifice her like that?"  Goyle asked as quietly as he could.  Draco didn't reply, but his thought was that Goyle was definitely not cut out for the Dark Mark if his answer to that question was anything other than yes. 

Pansy blinked back angry tears.  _No news.  They had to act quickly though.  No more waiting._

------------

Hermione and Pansy met before dinner, trying to adopt a more scattered meeting schedule lest someone discover their secret meetings.

"We have a decent list of girls now.  Maybe we should divide it up and start inviting people to join us?"  Once again, Pansy took the lead in the conversation.

"Join us to do what?  We have no plan!"  Hermione disagreed.  "We have to prepare for what to propose."

"What's to decide?!"  Pansy retorted.  "We all need to get laid as soon as possible!  I can just here the trite line now—'you don't want to die a virgin do you?'  Cause I'm sure that the Dark Lord could _arrange that_!"  Pansy threw up her hands in frustration. 

"I don't think you and I should decide what to do with other people's lives!  It's their body, their choice."  Hermione snapped.

_Merlin girl!  Wake up!  You are not in church!_  "It was your idea to get this group together, Hermione.  And here we are.  Make up your mind. Are you in this or not?"  Pansy demanded.

_Shit._  Hermione sighed.  "I'm in.  I'll approach a few girls at a time and we can start with a low number.  That way we can build a trustworthy group slowly and add to it with girls we know will commit themselves and keep secret about it."  Hermione shook her head. This wasn't how she was expecting it to go at all.

"Are you willing to Obliviate whoever decides not to join?"  Pansy insisted.

"No.  Memory charms are too dangerous, there has to be another way to make sure they won't talk."  Pansy rolled her eyes at the by-the-book, anal-retentive, rule follower.

Pansy huffed and decided to table the issue invariably up for discussion at a later time.  "Fine, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." 

They each left for their respective corners of the ring to wait for round two.

---------------------

Hermione adjourned to her room early, racing through most of her homework so she could focus on the books given.  She retrieved her notes from the dresser and recognized immediately she couldn't use them as is.  For one, they were too relevant to what she had read in Snape's literature, and secondly, she had used the same pen and ink to make her notes as she did for his book.  The writing was even similar.  In the margins she had made little doodles reminiscent of her attempts at a signature mark.  She definitely needed new notes.

She read through the books intently, well into the wee hours two nights in a row.  She tried not to stumble through her classes, she had only just assumed a regular sleep schedule which she was wrecking magnificently with her newest acquisitions.  Reading and rereading her notes, she made sure she didn't use any concepts unique to Snape's work.  She hoped he would mention his research to her so they could discuss it openly. 

She waited patiently for seven o'clock, not wanting to show up too early.  A couple minutes 'til she knocked and entered the classroom.

"Good evening, Professor Snape."

"Good evening, Miss Granger.  Have a seat and let's talk about what you've read."  Snape ushered her into an adjacent room she's never seen before with a couch, two chairs and a fireplace.  It was so dark, she could have considered it a lair.  "Incendio."  The fire roared to life in the chilly den, and illuminating the otherwise dimly lit room.  He also lit the cobweb-lined sconces, whose perpetual flames had managed to extinguish at some point.  Perhaps he didn't use this room very often.  He sat in the chair and she on the couch, laying out the books and her notes.

"What did you think about Armeaus' work?"  He posed.

Hermione took a deep breath not wanting to bash another potions master,  "He probably lived in a time where there was an abundant supply of things," she defended.  After seeing Snape's reaction, she relaxed in her seat and said what she really thought.  "He's wasteful.  I never saw such quantities before in my life. And then, when all you need is a spoonful or so of the finished product and the potion has to used immediately…  Why make a full cauldron?"

"Sometimes you can't just double or half a recipe… the proportions may not work out."  Snape lectured.

"I don't subscribe to the idea, that there is only one way of doing things.  It seems like he didn't even make an attempt to find a different way to achieve the same goal!"  Hermione said dramatically.

"Precisely, Miss Granger."  Snape agreed quietly.  _This would work out well.  _"Now tell me about Dr. Hoffines' work.  Did you see any problems there?"  __

Hermione spun out her criticism of his recent work, praising his intelligent research on rare roots, but admonishing his exploitation of that branch of potion making and Herbology.

"He has hoarded most of the rarest specimens for his own use, leaving very few naturally occurring examples to propagate themselves the way nature intended.  Hoffines was fascinated by breeding and crossbreeding them with other varieties of plants.  And while his unique discovery offered the magical community some sensational current advancements, the consequence was a detriment to our future in the long term— many rarer roots have been plucked to the brink of extinction."  Hermione was speaking freely from memory.  Her notes were there, but she didn't refer to them.

Since the book on Dr. Hoffines was written by himself, he certainly hadn't offered an objective viewpoint.  It was obvious, as usual, that Hermione had ventured far outside her assigned reading to look at relevant literature and obscure articles for this information.  She was doing graduate level work.

They spoke for two hours and Snape moved to adjourn her, leaving Hermione lingering at his desk while he fetched a journal to add to her reading list.  She quickly peered at his desk papers, but no book. _ Damn_.  She cocked her head, reading sideways some notes on his desk about upcoming class lessons.  She snuck a peek at a potion she couldn't remember, but thought she might have read it mentioned somewhere.  _Hmmm… The Brownheimer Antidote._

Seeing him walking back toward the room, she leaned back, not wanting to appear too nosy.  Then something captured her interest on the far wall.  She walked slowly near the framed picture and her mouth hung slightly open.  _Oh my God.  He framed it.  The sonnet.  _The circular weave of her calligraphy, her initial sample of work proposing a cover was there, proudly displayed on his wall.__

"Something interest you, Miss Granger?"  She didn't answer.  Her hair hung in waves down one side of her face as she tilted her head to read along the arc.  "Be careful, if you get any closer you could fog the glass."  Snape added silkily.

She tried to recover.  "I think being hung in a potions classroom, around fumes and volatile substances, poses a greater threat than my breath."

_Humph._  "I was joking.  I've charmed it to be impervious to those things.  What do you think?"  He inclined his head toward the artwork, admiring it himself as he had done many times before.

"Shakespeare's thirty third sonnet.  I've always liked it."  Hermione dodged, smiling at her handiwork.  Her stomach turned flip flops at the strangeness of their discussion and that Snape liked this enough to display it.  It would have been far more appropriate to have his first-year lecture hanging here on the wall of his potions classroom, instead of this literary work.  She wondered if he would leave it hanging if he knew who had been responsible for creating it.

"Well, no sonnets for you.  Here is the journal article I wanted you to see.  Compare this to your other notes and we'll select a starting point."  Snape dismissed her.  Severus shouldn't have been surprised, but he was amused.  She was well read even for a Muggleborn.  She had been studying in a school of magic and Shakespeare was not on the syllabus, even in the Muggle Studies class.  _Humph_.

Hermione left, and Snape sat in his own black leather chair in front of a quiet fire in his personal chambers.  He reached for the familiar book, the thin volume which he had been picking up frequently over summer and since the arrival of the sonnet.  He had snatched it from 12 Grimmauld Place and was not at all sorry.  It would not be missed.  With practiced fingers he turned its pages slowly, stopping at his favorite passages, and again at the oft read insert—the angst filled stanzas which did not belong there amongst Shakespeare. 

-------------

Hermione cornered Ginny in the library and slipped her a note which read, '_ROR five minutes.'_

Moments later they were upstairs, making plans about who to ask first.

"It's time.  We're going to invite just a few first. I was planning to bring you and three others."

"_Not _Lavender."  Ginny said bluntly.

"Why not?"  Hermione was taken aback at her forwardness.

"Because Pavarti is already getting hot and heavy with her boyfriend.  They tell each other _everything_.  If they were in this together that would be one thing…"  Ginny reasoned.

"You're right, what about Lisa Turpin? She's older."  Hermione suggested next.

"Yeah, it's be good to have another house's prefect in the group, especially Ravenclaw.  She might be in a better position to identify people in her own house who won't gossip.  What about Luna?"  Ginny proposed.  "She won't say anything.  She's odd but she's smart, and can keep a secret."

"I want to invite her, but I'd rather wait until the group is more established.  I don't want to turn off the Slytherin members."

"Are you sure we can trust them?"  Ginny asked skeptically.

"They'd say the same thing about you.  Actually several of their friends are already missing, so I'd say they have more invested in this already than any of us."  Hermione said seriously.

They glanced down the remaining list, focusing on female DA members.  _No Cho.  Too emotional. _"Susan Bones?  Mandy Brocklehurst?"  Ginny guessed.

"Susan's a good choice.  She's very intelligent, quiet, hopefully not too inhibited for something like this.  Let's talk to her.  I don't know Mandy well, maybe Lisa—if she agrees could approach her with us?"  Hermione thought out loud.

-------------

The Head of Slytherin cloaked in his black silk shadow, slinked his way down to the dungeons to their dormitory Common Room, slipping first through the blank stone wall.   Approaching the entrance, he announced his arrival with the slamming of their portrait hole.  Thankfully for the portrait, it was stuck to one of two enormous wooden doors. 

"May I have your attention?  Mister Malfoy, Miss Parkinson— would you please go gather your remaining house mates?"  Most of the students were already bounding down the dormitory stairs.  The pair of students quickly returned with the rest of their house.

Snape chose his words carefully.  "You have heard that the Headmaster had informed us that this year Hogsmeade weekends will be handled a bit differently.  The date of the first Hogsmeade weekend is in two weeks.  Students who have obtained permission slips may meet in the Great Hall promptly at 10:00am. will Each house will be divided into two Groups, and each group will be escorted by a Prefect and a Staff Member."  Groans were stifled, any grumbling in Slytherin house was not rewarded by present company.  "At no time are you to wander off unescorted by an adult.  Any wandering will be _severely_ punished.  In light of recent circumstances… I am sure you realize why this must be so."  Snape kept his voice quiet, authoritative and solemn.  Students couldn't decide whether or not he was concerned or inconvenienced.  "The break will last from ten to two…"  This did earn an audible groan as previously the Hogsmeade weekend hours were more flexible.  "…So I would suggest that perhaps our team's Captain could schedule the Quidditch pitch for practice each Saturday to ensure victory."  The way the word 'victory' slid off his tongue, sounded like an order to win, not encouragement for honorable sportsmanship.

He liked to leave his motives ambiguous.  Snape never argued with any adjectives used to describe him, it only reinforced his mysterious persona.  Even still, many of his students had approached him privately for help, probably because they had no one else to turn to.  He preferred to stay in that indefinable middle ground, considerate with students in private, and easily drifting into his more calculated Death Eater role when warranted.

He dismissed them and turned to leave, shutting the door to lock in the heated conversations which would inevitably following his dry lecture.  It was a necessary measure to keep students safe.  Hogsmeade was an open area, and not protected by the wards of Hogwarts.  It would have been safer still to forbid all female students to go.  _Surely Miss Granger wouldn't have that._  But keeping the lot of them at school for a year, begged for rule breaking and a riot putting even the precious Gryffindor legend to shame.  In the face of certain danger, teenagers still would feel unfairly treated, recklessly believing they could do it on their own without help from anyone.

-------------------

When Hermione entered the Room of Requirement on Thursday night, she was staring at the smug sly smile of a Slytherin.  Pansy was quiet and tilted her head a bit, hands behind her back, feigning innocence, but looking like a cat who ate the canary.

"Are you _now_ going to tell me your big secret?"  Hermione asked suspiciously.

Pansy revealed a big grin and said plainly, "I have the book."

"You what?!  You stole it!"  Hermione's jaw dropped.

"I prefer the term _borrowed_.  I borrowed it.  Don't need it forever… just slipped my mind— y'know the whole permission thing…"  She shrugged as if it was an ordinary thing to do.

Hermione hadn't seen it on Snape's desk anymore and so she wondered what guts it must have taken to steal that from such a man.

"Is this what you were looking for?" Pansy waved it, dangling it in front of her.  "I slipped it off of Lupin's desk," she gloated.  Pansy showed it to Hermione and then pulled it away quickly when Hermione's fingertips earnestly reached for it.  "Wait, wait."

Hermione let out a sigh of frustration.  "Yes, that's it!  Can we look at it together please?"

"Not until I ask some questions.  How do you even know about this book?"

Hermione was thinking fast.  "I saw it over the summer and only read one line before it was taken from me.  I got caught reading a dark text."  Hermione wasn't looking at Pansy, she was still eyeing the book.

"By who?  You're a Muggle.  How would you even be anywhere near this?"  Pansy asked suspiciously.

"I… I came here for part of the summer because my parents were away.  I saw it briefly in the library and Professor Lupin saw me."  Hermione lied like a professional.  Part of it was kind of true.

"It's not really that dark."  Pansy explained matter-of-factly.

"How do you know?"  Hermione didn't believe her for a minute.  "What do you mean, not _that _dark?"

"I've been reading, and there is as much defensive magic in here about virgins as information on torture."

Hermione made a face at her mention of torture but was immediately jealous that Pansy got a glimpse of a book she'd been thinking about for two months.   "What have you read?"

"Enough to know Lupin wasn't lying about virgins having powerful magic.  Makes me have second thoughts about wanting to lose my virginity as soon as possible.  This stuff is so… _wicked_,"   Pansy said with awe.  She skipped her History of Magic Class just to read it.

Pansy walked over to a table which appeared behind them and the girls sat side by side to look at the tome.  Pansy opened it carefully to pages she had marked and flipped quickly by grotesque pictures of torture and mutilation.  Hermione blinked her eyes to try and forget those images and focus on what Pansy had found.

"Here it is like you said,"  she cleared her throat.  "A virgin's magic is most powerful when desires are strongest, blah blah…  'Virgins which are too young lack the struggle with temptation that older witches contend with.'  This was marked by Lupin."

"Good grief, it's so big Pansy.  The writing is so tiny, it's going to take _forever _to go through this!  Do you think this might tell us what You-Know-Who is trying to do?"  Hermione had said Voldemort's name before, but after seeing how many adults feared to speak it, even Professor Snape, she adopted use of the substitution again.

They regarded each other with a painful look, swallowed and tentatively flipped back to the pictures of torture and bloodletting.  Though the pictures were gruesome, most detailed only the most painful ways to torture a virgin.  Some had to do with the incredibly outdated and long abandoned practices of virgin sacrifices.  They both exhaled a sigh of relief.

"Thank Merlin."  Pansy said.  "At least we don't have a visual of what he'll do to us.  It doesn't mean that there's not some elaborate description of death and dismemberment elsewhere in this lovely bedtime story."  She flipped through and took a section.  "We can't copy this, so we'll have to take a section and read through."

"Let's skim first and focus on what jumps out at us,"  Hermione suggested.  She took out a quill and parchment and sat on the left, Pansy on the right.  They both bent their heads down in an awkward position, right and left hands hitting each other as they tried to read the material. 

After a few odd nudges, heads bent down at weird angles, they made no progress.  "This isn't working!"  Pansy hissed.

"Well, we _are_ in the Room of Requirement…"  Hermione focused really hard on a device that would help them to read at the same time, and make the text bigger.  On the table before them two ordinary items appeared.  A knife and two plastic magnifying pages.  Not really what Hermione had in mind.

Pansy reached for the knife and Hermione watched in horror.  "NO WAY!"  She exclaimed.  "That's not even your book!  You don't know how that's bound, it could have magical enchantments or…"

Hermione's lecture on proper respect for books was ignored and interrupted by Pansy lifting the cover away and the sound of her knife cutting the bindings of the tome.  Pansy looked completely shameless and in a matter of half a minute, handed Hermione the first half of the volume.  "There.  Happy?  Now we can both work on it."

Hermione was speechless, jaw hanging wide open, but holding an easily readable section of the long awaited text.  Curiosity won out and soon they were both silently reading and scribbling.

"Pansy… there are all kinds of recipes in here for healing potions with virgin's blood.  God, it's practically a cure all.  This one's pretty difficult but…"

"You're forgetting how difficult it is to collect virgin's blood,"  she reminded in a sighed sing song way.

Hermione skipped ahead.  "It's right here!  Look!"  Pansy peered over and there in black and white was a detailed accounting of how to collect it.

"Weird.  It doesn't seem that difficult.  But how do you lose the hymen and collect it, without sex or…"  Pansy tilted her head to look at the diagram.  Hermione was as stumped as she was and shrugged.  They'd look at it later.  Hours passed and they were still at it.

It was approaching midnight, getting to be the time their friends would worry and ask questions. 

"We've gotta go.  Read and take notes in secret…" Hermione instructed through a yawn.

"Duh!  We are dead meat if we're caught with this."  Pansy rolled her eyes. _What, do you think I'm some first year_?  "Hey!"  She called out to the know-it-all.  "Stop getting all caught up in the potions and details.  You were the one who said 'skim the pages' remember?  I don't want this confiscated before we've had a good long look."

Hermione nodded, Pansy had her number.

"We should get the group together this weekend, okay?  Have you thought about who?"  Pansy pestered.

"Of course, but I haven't talked to them all yet."  Actually, she had only approached Ginny.  "And you?"  She shot back.

"I have four takers."  Hermione was surprised.  _Pansy wasn't wasting any time._

-------------

There was an eerie air about the night as a gathering of dark robed villains and one spy met shortly before midnight in the middle of an unremarkable wood.

Professor Snape had done his best, as a male professor with good instincts, but truly did not take an accurate sexual pulse of the school.  His list was a fraction of what it should have been.

"My servant,"  hissed Lord Voldemort through a thin mouth, possessing serpentine eyes and reptilian features.

"My Lord." Snape knelt to the ground and rose, his left arm burning with the scorching remnants of his Master's call but he ignored it.

"What have you?"  Snape handed him the parchment. 

"It is not complete, but it is a beginning.  I am not certain of many of the names.  I expect the list may change over the course of the year," Snape explained.

"Hmmm.  I understand there was a bit of a organized boycott of one of your classes."  Voldemort remarked with a cold sneer.

"A small snag, nothing I can't work around."  Snape said as smoothly and unperturbed as he could, eyeing Malfoy senior out of his peripheral vision.  Draco had blabbed.

"The bellflowers were a good idea, but a bit obvious,"  Snape explained.  "I should know more next week."  When Voldemort looked in Snape's eyes, he saw a glimpse of next week's lesson plan and was confident of his commitment to make progress. 

"Very well.  We will meet again soon.  I have plans for this group for the end of the year, no later.  In addition, I require something else of you.  But I will not ask you now.  Bring me the list of virgins, and then we will proceed."  Voldemort said malevolently.

Snape's gut wrenched at the thought of his unknown future task, he hoped it would be tolerable, something he could perform without hating himself.

"Yes, my Lord."  Snape replied obediently, as was expected of him.

----------------------

Hermione went to her room and read all night, listing each potion she came to and marking pages she wanted to return to.  Then she came upon a number of defensive spells and an incredibly stronger 'Protego' to shield a virgin from dark magic.  _Very impressive shield charm.  _She remembered the snippet of Snape's lesson plan and decided to look that reference up.  After searching through three texts on antidotes, only finding vague references she finally relented and returned to her half of the Power of the Innocent.  It was there that she didn't expect to find a reference to Brownheimer.  

_'The antidote, when properly brewed, can appear a pale blue or clear.  But the important matter in regards to our concerns is why this is so.  Brownheimer brewed this because the side benefit of the potion is that the brewer's virginity can be confirmed or denied when it is brewed. Brownheimer was a chief researcher in development of many potions using virgins blood.  Needless to say he used the antidote for his own purposes to find suitable candidates amongst his students.'_

_Damn him._  Hermione swore to herself some more, knowing that this reference was so obscure, no student would know it.  And she was quite sure Snape expected that she wouldn't find out.  She continued to read, already plotting her next silent revolt.  _Oh, my God.  What if Snape wasn't making a list?  What if he was trying to obtain sources of virgins' blood?  He had practically mentioned it in class.  It was difficult yes, but impossible for Snape to do?_  She figured 'impossible' wasn't a word that existed when it came to Snape.  She shook her head at her anxious flight of escalating worry.  It wasn't plausible. Snape was not Brownheimer.

_He wouldn't do that.  He wouldn't!  Snape fought on the side of light. He was a member of the Order.  _Mrs. Black said he was getting a list, she had no reason to disbelieve her._  But didn't he walk a fine line between dark and light in the concert to keep his true motives concealed?  Didn't he have to perform certain tasks and duties from time to time to prove his loyalty?  What concessions would he willing to make?_

Hermione knew she had to talk to Pansy, and while she felt willing to discuss the issue concerning the potion, she felt strongly about keeping the rest of her worries and speculation a secret.  Snape's spy status must remain intact and unspoken.  And worries she had about him balancing his role she would keep to herself.

Pansy did the same, motivated by heavy study more than she had been in years.  Pansy had good grades, but applied herself only as much as she needed to.  This issue was different— this required her full concentration.  Pansy wasn't in her dorm, though she had returned to make up a fake form in her bed, bunching up the covers just so before changing into her sleepwear, donning her cloak and leaving for a windowsill outside of dark hall near the common room.  The dim passage was lit only by trace moonlight, and was deserted— a dead end, no one came here.  She lit a used candle and stuck it to the stone ledge, perching her half of the tome on the large grey brick.  She read until two or so— one hundred pages skimmed. Then she came to a passage that stopped her heart.  She grew pale as she read, not fully digesting at first glance what she read.  Her breath caught in her throat, terrified beyond respiration. 

When Pansy looked up, a dark shadowy figure emerged from the Forbidden Forest with his trademark elongated strides.   Lupin met him in the yard, and Snape was still wearing the robes of her father— Death Eater robes.  Her wheels turned as she saw them talk in low tones she couldn't hear from this distance.  Snape was obviously upset, throwing up his hands in frustration. 

They were much closer to the grounds now.  Lupin was trying to explain something, and then Snape stopped cold.   Turning to the other Professor, Snape said so that Pansy could faintly hear,  "How could you lose it!"  Lupin quickly hushed him as they ran onto the grounds.

Pansy looked down at her text and knew immediately she had done a bad, bad thing.  She picked up everything, blew out her candle and snuck back to her room to avoid capture.  She charmed her cloak clasp.  'Tomorrow morning 7:30am.' 

Like the summer, she sat back in her bed and stared at the ceiling, but not seeing it.  Her mind flooded with all of the details of the last few months.  She knew Lupin wasn't a Death Eater—no dark mark.  He frequently rolled up his sleeves in class, since DADA involved a lot of physical activity.  _Maybe he was a wizard who served Voldemort in secret_?  _Nah, it didn't fit._ 

_Maybe Snape wasn't a faithful follower?_  He had always been the quiet one at dinners, observing.  Not as obnoxious as the others, like the MacNair and Lestrange families.  Snape was intelligent, but vindictive… he was known to say cruel things in clever ways.  Many wizards would think about what he had said and take offense moments after he had departed.   Snape was crafty with his insults.  Pansy had always liked him.  Except he was one of _them_.   Pansy realized she only began thinking of Professor Snape this way when she found out her father had offered her.  As a teacher, he was strict but good.  A bit unfair to the other students, but that was fine entertainment.  Maybe she had missed something about him.

------------

Morning couldn't come soon enough and both Hermione and Pansy found each other 30 minutes early, both dead tired but awake with fear.

"You're not going to believe this,"  a tense Hermione beat Pansy to the punch.

"Believe what?"  Pansy was wide eyed.  _How could things get any worse?_

"Snape's scheduled us to do a potion next class whose secondary purpose is to identify virgins.  I'm sure he's not planning on mentioning how that happens at all.  Look,"  She showed her the book as she explained.  "The Brownheimer Antidote isn't anything special.  In fact, it is used to treat a lot of poisonous bites and toxins we already have treatments for." 

"What are we going to do?  We can't just refuse every assignment."  Pansy argued.

Hermione pointed out the passage about the color change and cleared her throat before reading out loud from the text, inserting her own insights here and there,

"When the potion is blue that confirms virginity.  So then, how is a girl to keep her identity secret?  'Virginity is a powerful thing to be harnessed by women against those who least expect it.  One's power cannot remain hidden if one cannot circumvent such an obvious confirmation of innocence.  In the Brownheimer antidote a bluish dye is produced from the plants.  Placing a small piece of pumice in the cauldron before brewing will absorb the dyes produce, leaving behind only a clear substance.'  The stone can be discarded later without affecting the value of this potion.  You see?  We don't have to notify anyone. I can get stones for several girls and tell them to put it in their cauldron before brewing.  We should act totally oblivious to the outcome of the potion, not caring one way or another what color it should be because we're not supposed to know this."

"Are you sure?"  Pansy asked.

"You bet I am.  Mark my words, Snape is going to say that a potion will be effective bearing either color, and then will say nothing else."  Hermione felt she had satisfied Pansy's worries about the potion, but saw something else there.  "Pansy?  Are you okay?"

Truly, the Slytherin looked a bit green, her jaw taut with emotion. She ran nervous fingers through her hair and rubbed her weary eyes.  "Hermione, we are in deep shit.  The better half of this book has mostly to do with the use of virgin's blood and spells used both to build… and break… _wards_."

Hermione's eyes now widened to full size, tears threatening to fall.  "Oh my God.  He's going to try to break into Hogwarts!"

After a round of cursing and hand wringing, Pansy spoke up.  "We need to do three things.  First, get this group together ASAP.  Second, talk to the other girls about the pumice idea, careful not to use everyone.  That would be terribly suspicious."

"And third?"  Hermione asked.

"Lose our virginity _immediately_.  The Dark Lord?  Coming here?  Y'know, I know I'm no angel, but there _are_ limits and He has long since crossed them,"  Pansy hissed angrily.

Hermione couldn't agree more.  "We need to read your half as quickly as possible.  Maybe we can find out which one he's trying.  How many are there?"

"I've only come across a few, but these are mostly small spells— like for breaking in houses or past charmed objects.  But an institution like this?  No wonder he needs so many virgins."

"The four founders cast the first wards, and I can't even fathom all of the magic that has gone into protect a place like this.  Gringotts should be so well guarded."  Hermione stated.  "No apparation, no portkeys.  I know Dumbledore has interesting ways of observing all that goes on here."  Hermione thought about all of the portraits talking to one another, all of the mysterious devices that filled his office, any number of other magical objects which might tell the future.

"But we had_ Quirrell_ our first year.  And a Death Eater impersonated Moody our fourth year, to do what— setting Cedric up to die and using Harry to come back from near death?  Is that how Rita Skeeter put it?"  Pansy snapped back.  "How safe is it _really_ to be a student here?"

Hermione couldn't argue there.  As protected as Dumbledore wanted to make the school, things were bound to happen.

"Okay,"  Hermione said,  "Lets meet Sunday morning at ten right here. We can talk about the potion then.  If the girls agree they can pass out the stones in secret to select people in their classes.  Afterward we can stay behind and read your half.  It would really be good if we could figure out what he's trying to do.  We have no idea how many virgins he's going to need…"

"I know, I know.  Let's just get started."  Pansy left with a weary resignation in her step.  She shook her head.  _She just had to beat this.  She just had to._

Hermione left in a mood as well, lifting her head only upon entering the library.  _There has to be another way to fight this.  There has to be another way._

------------

It was a little awkward to discuss something so personal with girls she wasn't particularly close to.  Susan seemed especially shy, however, after a long talk she deduced that she really was just the type who liked to observe.  She had needed confidence building in the DA, but really could focus and perform decent spells.  She would be an asset.

What compelled Susan to join was the fight against You-Know-Who.  Susan had an uncle who was murdered during the war before her birth.  It only affected her so profoundly because she still saw the grief in her father's eyes.  At times he withdrew from everyone, unable to work and drowning his sorrows in a bottle.  Susan couldn't wait to serve.  Hermione never knew she had felt so strongly.  She imagined, like Neville, that there were other students with personal but private stories investing themselves in the fight against Voldemort.

Hermione left for the library and wove her way through the aisles of books in the restricted section.  She knew this was where she could find Lisa Turpin, the Ravenclaw Prefect who had been throwing herself into DADA and attempting to revitalize the dueling club which had been abandoned since Lockhart's departure. 

Lisa was scribbling furiously, and looked up.  "Hey, Hermione.  Were you looking for me?"

"Yeah."  Hermione leaned in to whisper.  "Can we go somewhere to talk privately?"  Hermione made her voice scarcely audible because the library had a strange way of magnifying sound, possibly Madam Pince's way of ferreting out riff-raff.  Lisa nodded and closed her books, hiding them on the edge of a shelf so she could retrieve them.  Hermione walked a bit ahead and Lisa followed behind.  Hermione slipped into an vacant classroom near the library and warded the door behind Lisa, looking around for any nosy portraits which might be watching.

"What are you so suspicious for Hermione?  You okay?"  The Ravenclaw girl was always forthright and mostly all business, from Hermione's experience.  She decided the factual approach would work best with her.

"I have something important to ask you and it involves the utmost secrecy.  You may not go to any teacher, even Dumbledore with what I am suggesting.  Deal?"

Lisa's eyes narrowed.  "Not sure.  Does it violate school rules?"

"Not yet," admitted Hermione honestly.  There was always room for growth.

"Okay then…" Lisa seemed hesitant but that was as good an agreement as Hermione would get from the cautious Ravenclaw.  "Does this have something to do with the petition?"

"Yes and no.  The petition was necessary due to other factors.  I have it from excellent sources that You-Know-You plans to use an unknown number of virgins to perform some kind of ritual or spell.  Currently our suspicion is that He will try to use girls from Hogwarts to bring down the wards of the school."  Hermione's eyes never blinked once, making full eye contact with Lisa.  She continued in a grave tone.  "A list is being prepared as we speak to notify Him of eligible candidates for the spell or whatever.  You may have noticed several girls are missing from the school…"  Lisa nodded.  "And several daughters of Death Eaters have been offered up to the Dark Lord for his _use_."

"What do you need me for?"  Lisa asked.

"Another person and I are trying to form a group of virgins to sabotage this attempt."  Hermione cursed herself for not asking the obvious question sooner.  "You are a virgin aren't you?"

Lisa shot her a look.  "Yes."

"There is no way we can let this happen, Lisa.  Your participation is entirely voluntary and at any time you can choose to back out, but our goal is to figure out a way to ruin this for him." Hermione's jaw clenched as she waited for Lisa's response.

"Why can't you go to Dumbledore?"

"He knows about virgins being targets but won't tell us what's going on.  None of the teachers will.  Once we tell them what we know, and what we might plan to do… they won't support us.  They will presume we are too young to discuss it, or unable to handle it…" 

"Well we are the ones in the middle, aren't we?"  Lisa posed.

"My thoughts exactly."  _She's in.  _"We are meeting this Sunday at 10:00 am in the Room of Requirement on the fifth floor corridor across from the portrait of the…"

"Trolls learning ballet?  I know, that's where the DA meetings are right?  Harry invited me yesterday."

"Oh, he's started the year now!"  Harry hadn't mentioned it to her, but then she'd been pretty occupied.  "Did he say when the next meeting is?"

Lisa looked a bit puzzled.  _Harry was one of her best friends, how did she not know?_  "Probably sometime next week.  He's still trying to work around Quidditch practices."

Hermione rolled her eyes, that always made scheduling difficult.  "Lisa?  Listen.  Ron and Harry and I are really close, and usually we tell each other pretty much everything.  But I haven't mentioned one peep about this.  So far Susan Bones has agreed to join us and Ginny Weasley.  This group will not come up in DA meetings however similar it may appear or if topics overlap.  Okay?"

"Sure."

"I was hoping you could do me one more favor and approach Mandy for me."  Hermione requested.

"I could, but Mandy's not a virgin."  Lisa said this quietly, like she was violating Mandy Brocklehurst's trust by doing so.  "Maybe Luna Lovegood?  She's a bit flighty, but she is crazy intelligent.  And excellent at keeping secrets."  The vote of confidence from one of Luna's own housemates was all the encouragement Hermione needed, to agree to add her at this point.

_-----------_

Sunday rolled around quickly and ten girls stared at each other with more than a little awkwardness, realizing what they all had in common and that the Slytherin house was a whole hearted supporter of this plan.  Millicent, Pansy, Roberta, Linda, and Daphne— Hermione, Ginny, Susan, Luna and Lisa all sat around in a circle of couches.

"You know, I don't want you all to think that I don't support some of the Dark Lord's ideas just because I don't want to be served to him on a platter by my father."

"Get the big picture, Millicent," reprimanded Lisa with a sharp tongue.  "I thought with the 'Dark Lord', it's all or none.  You don't _get _to _choose_ what you do when you follow him.  It's _do_ or _die_."

Hermione and Pansy saw where this was headed and decided to stop it before it went any further. 

"We are not going to solve anything by rehashing what we obviously disagree on,"  Pansy observed.  Pansy knew that Hermione making this statement would never keep Bulstrode's loud mouth in check.  "We are all here because we don't want him to use us to further his aims and we would prefer to be the ones to choose how we lose out virginity instead of having us kidnapped or having it taken from us.  Some of our friends are missing…"

"Hogsmeade weekends have new restrictions," Hermione took over.  "Snape is giving assignments that out us…"

"That was just the bellflowers, Granger."  Millicent argued.

"There is more.  He is going to give us a potion next class that will define our virginal status without telling the class that he's doing it."  The group continued to flow pretty smoothly from there as Hermione and Pansy grew more comfortable telling the details of the story they knew, and what they had speculated and why. 

The other girls felt sympathy for the Slytherins when they shared their stories about how their fathers approached them with the news.  Millicent hadn't been told, she overheard it.  Pansy was notified outright over dinner at a restaurant in a public place so she couldn't make a scene.  Linda found out from her mum after Melanie disappeared.  Pansy offered her solution about getting as many girls deflowered immediately as possible, while Hermione argued they should read more of their book to identify how many girls were needed to complete Voldemort's suspected spell before they all agreed to have sex en masse.  Ginny and the Ravenclaws wholeheartedly agreed with her.  No point in getting ahead of yourself if you can't measure the benefit.

At the conclusion of their meeting each girl held four stones. And while there still wasn't agreement on the method of surreptitiously avoiding sacrifice, they had at least formed the initial bonds of sisterhood and agreement that this group of virgins would remain totally secret, that any girl could quit whenever they wanted without fear of pressure from others, and that next time each girl would offer suggestions for new members who could be trusted.  New members would be approached only after unanimous agreement from the core ten

Hermione charmed everyone's coat clasps before leaving, satisfied that their numbers had grown significantly from just two.  Finally, they weren't alone.

---------------

The girls worked their calculated magic in circulating well-scripted rumors about themselves throughout the school.  They were baseless of course, and many involved the mention of summer trysts.

_"Did you know that Pansy…"_

_"No, you're kidding… I heard that Susan… with Rick…"_

_"Really, he was only with Mandy last week!"_

_"They broke up when she found him with Susan…"_

The school was all a buzz past breakfast.  Before the girls knew it, Mandy was receiving apologies and consolation for an affair that never happened and Susan was receiving looks from Mandy Brocklehurst's friends for an offense of which she was not guilty. Rick had left school on the weekend due to illness.  Poor chap wasn't even here to defend himself. 

Hermione and Pansy had overnight reputations, which upon the news reaching Ron's and Harry's ears, they didn't believe immediately.  "No way Hermione!  I can't believe they said that!  You would never…"

Hermione's face remained expressionless and she ate her food in silence.  She felt a tad offended that Ron thought she would '_never'.  Come on, Ron— never?  I am a flesh and blood woman!  Give me credit for having at least some needs.  _Her curly hair bounced behind her asshe left the Great Hall in a huff, but all in all pleased with the progress of the rumor mill.

It was mid morning on Monday when Potions began.  Snape appeared distracted and obsessed with his own paperwork rather than focusing on the class.  "Today class,"  he mentioned looking down at his desk, "we will be brewing the Brownheimer Antidote, commonly used for treatment from poisons and stings as well as exposure to unknown chemicals.  It is widely used when you are not certain of the cause of poisoning.  The antidote causes only a few ill effects and generally does not disturb the balance of most poisons."

Hands shot in the air, remembering his last lecture, but he didn't take notice still rifling through papers.  "The potion when brewed correctly may appear pale blue or clear, but either result is acceptable."  Hermione mouthed an '_I told you so'_ to Pansy. "Instructions are on the board.  You may begin."

Students with raised hands gave up, and decided to defer their questions until later.  Snape did not look up from his desk.  He did not stroll the aisles pointing out mistakes, relishing the horrified looks on the students' faces as he gave out failing grades while peering into the cauldrons over students shoulders.  Low supervision was required today to ensure a somewhat inaccurate sample for the Dark Lord's precious list.  He scribbled and graded papers, and even read the Daily Prophet.

It was therefore easy for several girls to begin by placing the lava rock at the bottom of their cauldrons.  Hermione even practiced in advance to make sure she got the potion right, giving tips to other students.  At the end of class Pansy, Hermione, Millicent, and Susan Bones all had clear potions.  The two others in the class had blue potions.  Hermione put on a poker face as she bottled and labeled her potion for Snape's testing.  She quickly cleaned her workstation and pocketed the stone.

Near the end of the class, the professor absentmindedly looked up.  "Very well.  Are you finished?"  And began his stroll.  Millicent almost forgot and palmed her stone, hiding it under the desk.  He walked by each desk and saw Draco Malfoy had botched his attempt.  It was a tricky brew, so he was completely surprised that half of the boys failed their brewing while all of the girls had appeared to brew the potion correctly.  

The students filed out and many left thinking that Snape had lost his edge today, not noticing the rather stunned expression behind his face.  Hermione had suspected that maybe he was trying a little too hard to be disinterested in the outcome of their work.  When she left for the hallway, Millicent grabbed her arm forcefully.

"What did you do?"  Millicent hissed.

"What do you mean?  Let go of me!"  Hermione said harshly, not wanting to draw attention. Millicent held out her hand revealing a palm stained with blue dye where the stone has touched it. 

Hermione looked on in surprise and then examined her own hand.  "Oh shit.  The dye must be released as soon as it comes in contact with something."  Blue dye was on her hand and all in her robe pocket where she had put it. 

"Little late warning, Granger."  Millicent said angrily.

Pansy fled to retrieve Susan, but fortunately both had discarding their stones using tongs, not wanting to touch the hot liquid.  "We've got to tell everyone else."  Fortunately they were the first class. 

Millicent and Hermione ran back to their respective dorms to look up various vanishing charms, and Dean teased Hermione as she entered what she thought to be an empty common room.  "You're turning into a smurf, Hermione!  Did someone jinx you?"  Hermione's face reddened and she didn't return from her room until she had on clean robes and had hidden the large stain on her right hand.

Meanwhile, Snape sat at his desk, staring blankly at nine correctly brewed potions.  He separated the boys from the girls.  Three blue vials were discarded in the wastebasket.  _Gods, Four out of six girls._  Granger, Parkinson, Bulstrode and Bones.  _Merlin._ 

Children these days had no comprehension of what sexual relationships entailed.  They were too young to have that responsibility and take it seriously.  He found it a bit peculiar that with almost no instruction and neglectful supervision every girl had brewed the potion flawlessly while the only boys who managed to scrape out a passing grade were, for lack of a better word, _innocent. Ugh._

He went through his painful day of premeditated, substandard teaching and nearly reeled in shock at his desk as each class produced more clear potions than he had possibly anticipated, even among his fourth year students.  Snape should have been relieved that he had so few valid candidates for Voldemort, but found himself disgusted beyond measure.  He stormed through the staff room to grab a cup of tea before their meeting and sat stiffly in his chair.

When Poppy and Minerva entered the break room, they couldn't help but notice his disposition was more surly than usual.

"What's gotten into you, Severus?"  Poppy asked.

Snape spun to face her and grumbled sarcastically, "Oh nothing, Poppy.  Nothing.  Say— do you happen to be running low on contraceptive potions?  Because I could prepare more, for this lot."  He drank his tea in one, and frowned at his cup because it was missing firewhisky.  He quickly poured another.

"What are you on about? I'm fully stocked, Severus.  You made some before the semester started, remember?  I had to discard the last because it expired." Poppy gave a puzzled look to her colleague who never expressed an eager interest to brew this before.  "Why did you mention this?" 

Minerva was watching this intently and her face grew pale and stony at his next declaration.

"No particular reason, just at least half of our young darlings are sexually active," he said dryly with an uncaring shrug.  Nothing could be further from the truth of his feelings however.  Snape was livid.  Many of the girls were barely fourteen or fifteen.

Lupin snorted into his teacup, spilling his drink down the front of his shirt.  "I beg your pardon?  How do you know this?"

"In potions.  Side effect of the brewing process," he said absently with a wave of his hand.  "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"But no one has approached me for a contraceptive potion this year except for two seventh year students!"  Poppy exclaimed frantically.  Snape was beginning to show signs of worry.

"Names, Professor Snape.  I want their names."  McGonagall bit out in authority through her pursed lips.

------------

No later than the afternoon, the house Heads were making their rounds.

"May I have your attention please?"  McGonagall addressed her Gryffindor students.  "There will be a mandatory session for all of you to attend.  You will be broken up into groups and come to Madame Pomfrey's office at the times assigned on this board.  Let me say again, this is not _optional_.  You may not miss this and if you do, you will answer to me."

"What is this for?"  Ron asked.

McGonagall glared at him but did not answer.  "You will find out soon enough, Mr. Weasley."

She didn't explain what it was about, but according to the posted schedule on each door, the girls and boys were separated in different groups, and they were separated according to year.  If it was being conducted by Madame Pomfrey, Hermione and Ginny deduced quickly based on the groups what topic might be up for discussion.

There were eight groups total in years four through seven, with approximately 15-18 in each group.   Fortunately some of the older students were somewhat well versed already in information about contraception and sexually transmitted illnesses, though Poppy wouldn't describe them as sexually responsible or mature as she heard them snicker and joke throughout her lecture.  The boys were notoriously thick, many of them expecting their female counterparts to be the ones shouldered with the responsibility of contraception.

"Well, Mister Zabini, I think you should ask yourself then, that before each time you consider engaging in sexual activity, you ask yourself at least one important question."  Blaise blinked at her.  "Do I want a child with this woman nine months from now?" That question hit home, and a lot of students looked a bit nervous at the prospect of actually being a parent, many assuming that the charms or potions had been applied or administered without question.  Many left hurriedly to approach their girlfriends and inquire about their health and 'status.'

The girls were a different matter.  They felt scolded by the reproachful looks given by Pomfrey and McGonagall, their icy stares boring right through them.  Indeed, they held their potions results in a folder behind them, released under Snape's condition that they wouldn't reveal what had been uncovered in his class.  No more revolts.  He'd be stoned to death.

Hermione was careful not to jump on the defensive.  She was actually relieved when girls began asking questions which exposed their ignorance about sex, contraception, family planning and STD's.  Even though most in the room were virgins, they needed the education, minus the condescending tone.  McGonagall looked harshly at Hermione more than a few times and she felt stung by her judgment.  Hermione really had meant what she said to Dumbledore about her virginal status being no one's business, and here was the proof.

Finally they were let out, after an hour and a half of lecture which included a short film on horrors of childbirth and STD's.  Most of the girls looked distracted, not really feeling the subject matter applied to them quite yet.  Their lack of attention annoyed the proctors.

-------------

Severus Snape groaned as his arm burned again— he thought he'd have more time before he met with the Dark Lord.  He had his list together and feared for its messenger.

"My Lord,"  he bowed low and rose to stand beside Lord Voldemort.  No one else in the circle was there just him.  No one else to rescue him from Crucio with their stupid outbursts to deflect that horrible attention from him.

"What progress do you have on the list of available students?"  Voldemort had not asked for what news, he asked for what _progress_.  Snape tried to cover as best he could.

"The school appears to be overrun with depravity and promiscuity, My Lord."  Snape could not continue for the next thing he heard was 'Crucio' and the next thing he felt was a bolt of green light hurling a terrible force of pain throughout every nerve ending of his body.  Snape was no longer standing and felt dirt beneath his fingertips.

"This cannot be accurate!"  He hissed.  Lord Voldemort flicked his wand to raise the head of his punished servant, curled a long bony finger under his chin and looked into his eyes.  Images of the potion and the vials on his desk filled his head.  He was right.  He released Snape from the curse and left him.  "This doesn't include all prospective virgins, but I cannot use the younger students.  Does this please you, Severus?"  Severus struggled to regain composure.  It had been a small

"No, my Lord.  We shall use whatever need calls for."

Somewhere in the Gryffindor dorms, Harry woke with a start and his scar was burning.  Without thinking about it, he immediately shut his mind off from all thoughts.  He was curious, but didn't wish to offer Voldemort an opportunity to get to him.  All emotion left him, all anger and bitterness of the day, any feelings for Ginny and laughter, Harry permitted himself to be blank and the pain subsided faster than rubbing it physically ever did.  Harry smiled as he remembered the feeling that came to is mind before he woke.  Somewhere, Voldemort was really pissed.

--------------

This was the end of round two.  Hermione sat in her dorm room at sunset, looking out the window across the beautiful grounds, searching for some comfort.  Any comfort.  She was faced with the overwhelming possibility that she would need to lose her virginity soon, the only suggestion offered as a solution to their current dilemma. Voldemort could very well be planning an attack on Hogwarts with no idea at the moment of how to defend against.  As impressive as some of the spells and potions were in the Power of the Innocent, being innocent wasn't feeling very powerful at the moment. She was attending school but felt like she was going through the motions.  Only this group and Snape's extra class was really providing any focus for her.  And that was distracting.  She tried to discard her feelings— bury them low hoping that time would help them to subside. 

But he had such a remarkable presence about him. Whenever she was especially angry with him it only served to increase her attraction toward such a forceful man. He wasn't pleasant in class, but he had been more than civil last Wednesday night.  It was easy enough to look at her texts and study, discuss theories and research, but then he would speak… or she would look at him, and then time would stop for a second.  She could barely remember what they were speaking about.  He interpreted her memory lapse as drowsiness and had adjourned their session for the night.  Then the sonnet.  That practically knocked her off her feet.  And he liked it.  She tried not to misinterpret it, by assigning it all kinds of undeserved additional meaning.  It promised so much more than he could actually give.  And he would never.  She was in the same predicament as the summer.  And that was dangerous. 

Hermione's thoughts lay in such a serious place, eyes threatening to shed tears she wouldn't permit herself to cry— having no one to turn to with such a  private matter.

She looked up and her own room came into focus again, looking at the wavering interests of her finicky cat Crookshanks.  His moods changed with the weather.  He was not always the best choice for conversation.  He was too independent and did as he pleased, rubbing up against her for affection one minute and then stalking away.  _Pet me!  No— stop petting me…  _Crookshanks often turned with his posterior facing her and sauntered away, bottlebrush tail flinging his attitude in the air. 

Sunday had passed her by and she realized that for all of her wishes for someone to confide in she had forgotten the one source of true guidance.  She had neglected to pray in the last few days, often studying to the point of exhaustion, letting sleep overtake her at the last moment. 

But now more than ever with the threat of Voldemort breaking through the wards on Hogwarts castle, she should have prayed to God.  It should have been her first thought, not her last one in a moment of desperation.  She knelt and bowed her head, letting whatever thoughts came into her head— concerns, doubts, and gratitude flow from her lips up to heaven.  She prayed for guidance and thanked him for the support given to her from unsuspected places.  She was still feeling a bit wary and unsafe, much like she did at her parents home.  The thought of the wards being breached made her feel like she was already exposed.  Then in the sky a beautiful white dove came into view and landed on her windowsill.  Her tears fell, blessed from the sign that God was watching over her.  It was likely a coincidence, but Hermione knew there were reasons for everything and decided to befriend the creature, thanking Him for the message of peace.

She opened the windows gently, and the dove took a gentle flight, returning to the ledge and settled.  Hermione returned with some biscuits and water.  As the bird pecked at them Hermione talked to it, feeling more comfort from sharing her troubled thoughts with an animal.  She had more hope.  She felt more confident that another solution would present itself.

-------------

**Author's Notes:  **

See as I promised! Lots of candy!  Many thanks again to all reviewers, and suggestions for plot bunnies you'd like to see.  Finally our group is coming together.  And guess what, as you have probably surmised there are ten more coming.  But why twenty, WHY!  HAHHAHHAHA! Maniacal laughter  I'm not telling you yet!

Blaise-  I hope you read through and thanks for your comments.  I will visit the web site, you may be right about the word 'minister' but I've heard it used frequently here even amongst my Catholic friends.  Maybe it's a southern thing with so many Protestant's here many Catholic have adopted similar descriptions.  The Emmaus Walk, for example, began in the Catholic faith, so I often hear people talking about their spiritual journey or spiritual walk in that way.  Thanks again!

Smirk queen-  Thanks!  And here you go!  BOO YA!  Girl power, that's where the fun is.  And another chapter isn't far behind.  It's being proofread.

hp princess 17588-  Thank you, and things will develop slowly… there will be calligraphy references from time to time, but Snape won't find out for a while.  I'm flattered you spent all day reading.  I've done that myself with fics I have enjoyed.  Your time spent and your review id the highest form of praise.

Hope-  Thanks for your review!

Althea Grey:  Thank you, but I don't know how much of a Book Six it would be without Harry in the middle.  And the big question—ha! I'm not telling.

Gelsey Greeneyes:  Thank you, I am trying to improve.  And I'm glad you think I'm in character.  That's my worst fear is having the main people be OOC.

Excessively perky:  Thank you, and love your name, like the Potter verse perky… percolation… hmmm coffee..

Javen Green:  Thank you very much.  And I'm glad you can relate, but--- and I don't want to jump to conclusions.  "These are professional characters do not attempt this at home."  Tee hee...  I can't wait to pull the group together and introduce everyone!

Franflutewitch:  Hey there!  Glad you can identify. I play the dulcimer (Appalachian folk instrument- like a narrow guitar played in your lap), though not often anymore.  My mom plays piano, something I always wished I had taken up.  I did however always sing, and is a special way I worship in church.  I always fantasized about being capable of singing jazz and rock without sounding hokey or Broadway. I always thought Hermione was multi-talented.  We know she plays piano from the books (I think there was a small reference), as so little is mentioned of her Muggle life. Snape may find out about the calligraphy he might not…  Just kidding!  Of course he is, but not right away.  Still figuring out the big reveal on that plot bunny.

Whizbees:  This totally counts as two chapters and what great timing too!

Jasperpress77:  Thank you.  I am so glad I put in the religious bit now too. I wasn't sure at first, but it feels pretty good to write Hermione this way.  She's so grounded.

Rosmerta:  I did have a specific piece (of the Requiem) in mind, but I need to ask my mom because I couldn't find it online. I couldn't find my sheet music for the Requiem she sang for Dumbledore, Lupin and Snape at 12 Grimmauld.  I have been fascinated by the Catholic faith and by the strict adherence to many practices by my friends.  I found the prayers on line and have asked others to help me with other details.  I am Christian and have been missing church of late, need to return.  Even though my husband is not at all pleased with the ritualistic prayers and ceremonies of many churches I know that many people find it soothing and a sacred part of their worship.  I work in a Catholic Hospital here in Houston, and enjoy greatly the almost magical comforting presence to the nuns and priests there. 

Glad you liked the dream, and thought Snape is in character.  It's like in the book, people perceive him as evil, but truly people just see the outside, and if it's written at the point of view of Harry, who's already judged him over the years, we really may not be seeing him as he truly is.  I am sure the adults don't see him the same.  Much of what Snape does is an act.  Sirius may have been blinded by childhood memories, but both Remus and Lupin praised Snape in his ability to tutor Harry, pushing Harry back to seek out his aid.  There is honor somewhere in there.  And whoops you got me.  I meant dull/ not droll. 

Now I will give some serious thought to your Room of Requirement challenge.  I have been thinking about that ever since your review and I don't believe it would produce whatever you want, just only what you _require_.  I wonder if it could produce only objects.  So hmmm… maybe next chapter…

Chloe22:  Chloe!  Thank you so much for your feedback!  I sent you an e-mail and since joined Live Chat, looking for the place you saw the fic mentioned.  I joined Lord and Lady Snape but was unable to load the fic yet.  My husband will help me because I only use Word.  Who is Tycho?  Thank you for noticing the efforts gone to make sure ideas and concepts are carried through the fic.  I have a little set of notes at my desk reminding me of plot devices and words I want repeated for the purposes of  continuity.  And I did need a beta, The Klingon Mistress is great!  Ezmerelda and other reviewers helped too.  It's great with the new upgrade my italics problem is fixed!  Thanks for your review and it means much more than a little!  J 

Lillith:  Sorry 'bout tha'—I'm American, can't help it.  Texas and everything y'all. (But I don't have an accent.)   I slipped on the mum/mom thing for Hermione, good point there.  Thank you for your review.  I appreciate your feedback.

Azulkan2:  Thank you.  Even though Snape might be kind of pleased at having a way out of his list making, he really didn't approve of a public embarrassment, being chastised by McGonagall and Dumbledore in his office.  Showed up by the Know-It-All Gryffindor, he had gone out of his way to see she got an independent study.   I don't think I properly described how angry he was.  He's so repressed.  Makes for a passionate man.

Crissy:  Thank you, and here you go as promised!

Hpz26:  Thank you and I have to take my time.  These ideas are crazy.  Hard to string them together.  There are a lot of scenes in this chapter. Hope it's not too choppy.

SimplyScribbling:  Thank you, Thank you.  And I don't plan to abandon the Burden of Sight, but I'm kind of single minded now.  It'll be hard to write that next chapter (Remus will be knighted.) As always— our dear Severus will do his best, his purpose is to stall and produce a somewhat flawed list to the Dark Lord.  The question is how much will he bear the guilt of handing in a name of any girl to him knowing that he painted a target on them.  It just wouldn't make sense to throw them together too early.  Hermione's right.  It wouldn't happen.  And I love the revolt too!  Reminds me a little of people who refused to dissect their frogs in science class.

Maxy:  I forgive you for your computer being down.  ;) Mine was recently too, and I am so grateful to have it fixed!  Weird when that happens huh?  Here's more Pansy and Hermione.

Wackoramaco87:  Yeah, I love Lupin.  I always imagine him to be super cool.  Very proactive, polite (a force to be reckoned with I'm sure) but civil.  Fair.

Levans:  Thanks!

Romm:  Ummm.  No, not really.  DA is DA.  This  group of ladies is a rather elite group with one thing in common.  They will learn cool stuff… but only one goal.  The DA will go on an on.  The Twenty will have a stopping point.  Argh!  I've said too much!

ThePinkSpider:  I love your name.  Thank you!  I enjoy writing.  A hadn't expected such a response.  Thank you for reviewing.

Lyress:  Sorry you had to wait for the last one, but I hope it was worth it.  As you requested more Pansy, complete with description and as for the second part of one… well see… don't want to give anything away.  (I have already written one of those scenarios in advance- tee hee!)  As for 2, you are way ahead of me, remember he doesn't expect his book to be published until winter?  More suggestions! Keep them coming!

xmaverick14x:  The girls don't want and don't need (at least they think they don't need) help.  As always, the spy is solo, on his own reporting to Dumbledore. Even if he wants to help, he can't help.  Snape is a pissy guy when he feels things are out of his control.  But he won't figure that out for awhile.

GeekGoddess1:  Yay!  I love to hear that!  This is definitely a girl power fic. I hope you'll be chanting it as the chapters progress.

Ezmerelda:  Yup.  He's going to get the shock of his life, and more than once.  And poor Snape won't get the truth for some time.  It'll be painful for him to watch tho.  Yeah--Hermione will go out of her way to make sure no one can confirm her identity again after he used the device.  No one's taking her down.  I can't wait to write more about the book.  Hermione can't resist a good spell.

Redlady27:  Tee hee.   Pansy will teach Hermione a thing or too about sneakiness and upsetting the balance. Actually throughout the fic Hermione's going to be pretty unbalanced.


	12. Dread and the Room of Requirement

**Disclaimer:  **It's still not mine, not mine not mine, no money here… just fun, fun, fun.****

**Chapter Twelve:   Dread and the Room of Requirement… To Shag or Not to Shag.**

The next morning, the boys had whispered, snickered and gulped too much for Hermione's ears to bear without rolling her eyes. 

The girls were feeling a bit singled out at the sudden choice of lecture. 

Perhaps it was the one too many times in which Professor McGonagall, Sprout, or Pomfrey would approach individual girls and say "I'm here if you ever need a woman to talk with,"  or the like. 

"You know you can come to me with anything,"  Professor McGonagall had said to Hermione and it nearly put her over. 

She had always talked to her mom, though awkwardly, and the 'sex talk' was 3 years ago.  At least her mom had given her a mature book after their talk and taken her to the doctor for a private conversation about matters she felt too personal to bring to her mother.  No icky videotape to talk down to her and judgmental looks from her teachers.

Hermione trusted Professor McGonagall with a lot.  She had a good deal of respect for her too, a both intelligent and fine witch.  But she just couldn't imagine her _ever _confiding in her about sexual matters, especially if they involved her current interest.  The professors truly did not recognize that they didn't have promiscuous behavior of epic proportions on their hands.

---------

Monday's potions class was thankfully ordinary by comparison to the first two weeks of school.  Severus Snape had continued with his lectures on antidotes and tinctures, his curiosity satisfied by the potions produced by his last class without a single annoying comment from Miss Granger.  He had appeared before the Dark Lord when he called with a pitifully small list dominated by the younger students, students which Lupin had told him were unsuitable for any type of spell involving virgins.  The bout of 'crucio' was worth it.  At least it bought him more time.

"They still could, however, pick the occasional bellflower," Remus had chided.  The Bellflower joke was being pushed too far amongst the staff and thankfully had been dropped once it was known how few girls were left at Hogwarts who could claim the ability to perform that benign task.  Snape was extremely disconcerted that the book was no where to be found.  He had really needed to come to some clue about the origins of Voldemort's plan and he hadn't explained himself to anyone.  No details.  Absolute control.  That was the way of the Death Eaters, especially since his first fall from power.  Remus had thankfully read through much of the first half and was beginning the second half, though the details of the enormous volume were foggy without the aid of notes.  Remus had glanced at it a long time ago, reading the first half for his DADA lectures, but most of those pages entailed torture methods.  Snape sighed_— known…_and Remus had detailed simple spells and potions which only used virgin's blood— _unavailable,_ or spells to protect said virgins— also amazingly missing from the class seated before him.  

The students cleaned up their cauldrons and bottled their antidotes for testing, Hermione finishing first but cleaning up last.  Snape noticed and figured she was probably offering the subtle opportunity to mention something about tonight's lesson as discretely as possible.  Usually the students were tripping over each other to leave. 

He looked up at his student and said, "Miss Granger, tonight at seven.  We'll discuss Hoffines work and I'll give you some new literature to read on Gesupelte." 

Hermione nearly choked on her breath.  She had already read as much about the little known potions master as she could get her hands on, and was eager for more.  Hermione hoped this meant that Snape would share more about his book with her.  He hadn't mentioned the work of Gesupelte directly and she hoped it would be safe to bring what she knew up, seeing that she knew of him before he even had mentioned it. 

Returning at seven, notes in hand she plopped onto her usual spot at the couch in the small den.  The fire was already crackling and there was tea made at the end table for their use.  The room had obviously been cleaned— _by house elves probably_, she winced.  But she had never seen Snape interact with any house elf and had in fact avoided the house elves at school whenever possible.  House elves were largely used by pureblood wizarding families, but Hermione could not imagine Snape employing the use of one.  She had founded S.P.E.W., The Society for the Protection of Elvish Welfare, though her attempts to free the house elves of Hogwarts last year was a lesson in futility.  She had hung up the club at the end of last year, the mission of the organization and it's lagging membership paled in comparison to the daunting tasks which now faced the young witch.

Snape assumed a relaxed position in his chair, his robes hung over his chair in the classroom.  He was wearing his formal button up suit.  In black one could never go wrong, but with Snape's usual dour expression he always looked dressed for a funeral, or a Death Eater meeting.  He poured a cup of Darjeeling tea for himself and then gestured to her and Hermione nodded.

Taking the cup, she blew on it as he began, "Miss Granger, there are actually potions masters who employ a bit more practical and efficient approach to use of ingredients than Masters Hoffines or Armeaus."

"You're meaning Nicholas Gesupelte?"  She threw the first name out casually.

"So you found a reference?"  Snape asked a bit surprised.  He had just mentioned his last name, and only this morning.

"I read him two years ago." Snape arched an eyebrow.  "I was looking up information on the Wolfsbane and there was a footnote referencing his work, mind you— it was so tiny.  They had scarcely mentioned his name at all.  He proposed the idea of micro-potions, developing the first tiniest instruments to measure very small accurate amounts of roots and herbs.  He studied how small the quantity of several main ingredients could be before they lost their beneficial properties, and then performed the research again so that if larger quantities were needed, what additional properties were sought after in those circumstances.  It was a shame the scientific community didn't recognize his sound theoretical framework more then, I imagine they didn't know as much about how short supply might become."  She was on a roll now, talking with her hands, the urgent look of annoyance on her face at the injustice of it. "It seems they were only interested in researchers who could produce _new_ potions, or stronger strengthening potions.  It was all about abundance.  I mean, Muggles have no concept of what they were— huh, still _are _doing to the natural rainforests.  Hindsight is 20/20 you know?  Now, his methods are so commonplace they seem ordinary, yet everyone forgot his name and didn't continue his work," she finished, drinking her tea. 

She spoke as if everyone talked about Gesupelte.  Snape was entirely beside himself, inwardly that is.  Gesupelte, the great unknown hero of the scientific community, being read by this girl when she was barely past sixteen… well, thirteen or fourteen because of the damned time turner.  _Merlin._

"Gesupelte is a very remotely mentioned scholar, and I feel my decision to take you on as a student confirmed by the fact that you had bothered to read him at all," he admitted.  It was a complement and there had been no ugly backhandedness to it.

"Thank you, sir. Are you wanting for us to explore other specimens of plants and analyze what their smallest useful quantities are or find substitutes for more widely used rare plants and ingredients?"  Hermione was quick.  Nowadays, she didn't stammer and blush but got straight to the point.  

"Yes,"  was his response and it earned him a laugh.  He continued, "It would make sense to study the aspects of the ingredient and what properties are most useful for a solution and then identify a substitute."

"Sounds like a problem for a chemist,"  Hermione surmised.

"My dear Miss Granger, you are looking at one,"  Snape responded proudly.   They talked well into the evening, adjourning at ten.  Hermione hadn't known how far he had taken his education, he had even studied for a while at a Muggle college for postgraduate coursework with a prominent Muggleborn chemist. They talked about Gesupelte, speculated on which potions they should try first.  Of course Snape had several in mind already, but that didn't stop Hermione from making several recommendations of her own first. 

Hermione slipped and mentioned a potion she was very eager to see improvements made for: Veritaserum.  It was mentioned heavily in his book, but Hermione didn't blush too much at her slip, it was a logical conclusion for anyone to make and he didn't seem to be surprised at her bringing it up.  Snape hinted at several concepts in his book and she was careful to make notes of which ones those were so that she could maintain her ignorance of the rest of his work.  It would be a very fine line until his book was released.  Maybe he would let her read his research soon, then she wouldn't have to pretend and continue lying to him.

---------------

By Wednesday she had a nine feet of ideas on their project, and really felt so far like he was listening to her, not treating her as an equal yet, but encouraging her explore her own ideas.  It was more than she expected, but then he stormed out of the Great Hall after lunch and approached her between classes with a somewhat terse dismissal.  Snape had resumed his normal, irritated disposition.  Hermione was beginning to think after Monday's compliment, someone had kidnapped him and replaced him with a Polyjuiced imposter.  _Ah, but there he was after all. Greasy git extraordinaire.  Joy._

Hermione went through another week of classes without Pansy summoning her for a late night meeting.  It was just as well, their homework was picking up and her Prefect duties were keeping her busy.  She had Snape's class to boot, and thankfully only had the extra reading and discussion on Monday.  He had cancelled Wednesday's meeting abruptly.  After further thought, perhaps he might have been called away to a Death Eater meeting, especially with the results of last week's rather remarkable potions outcomes.  That gave her an odd sense of satisfaction.  It was satisfying because her plan had worked.  It was odd because it wasn't the truth, and they still weren't technically out of jeopardy yet.  Pansy kept reminding her of that.  She didn't really want to have to think about the group just yet. She was wanting to postpone that decision to the last possible moment.

But alas, during library time Friday night her clasp was charmed and there was a meeting scheduled immediately following the first Quidditch match of the season on Saturday. It was Gryffindor vs. Slytherin, sure to be a wicked match between such furiously competitive teams.  Harry and Ron had been on about it all week, getting Ginny's nerves up with her first season as chaser among such a bunch of brutes.  Injuries were expected. Hopefully any brawls following the match would be met with some leniency from the teaching staff. 

Luna Lovegood had kept her impressive Lion hat which roared.  Hermione had thought she fancied Harry at first, but then came to the conclusion after speaking with her that she was just a good person. Harry hung around with her on his own after the first DA meeting.  After the events of the previous year, and the very candid conversation she had about her own mother, Harry felt a certain bond with the girl.  Loony Luna Lovegood had an honorable nature, despite her reputation for flakiness.  She rooted for everyone, and people sadly did not treat her as she treated others.  Luna spoke often of things that did not exist but also spoke to Hermione of her interests in Advanced Charms and Transfiguration.  In fact she was already performing several advanced charms at a Newt standard, experimenting with magical objects of protection and ones that could improve portkey travel, following in her mother's footsteps.  With her technical explanation of complex wand movements, Hermione was certain that Luna's placement in Ravenclaw was dead accurate.  Luna's descriptions went far beyond swish and flick— they were more along the lines of poetry and physics.

Gryffindor once again had dreadful Beaters, now that Fred and George were out of the league, which meant it was no match against the Slytherin thugs.  Ginny scored two goals, only narrowly missing a bludger aimed at her head.  Harry decided that it was in all their best interests for good health if he could catch the Snitch as soon as possible.  He was fortunate to be distracted by Ginny's escape from the bludger and saw ahead of him Malfoy chasing the Snitch, both hurtling right towards him.  Draco was too focused on the tiny golden ball and hadn't seen his nemesis at all.  Harry laughed and remained stationary on his broom. The Snitch was coming straight to him and comically appeared to be afraid of Malfoy's pursuit as he chased the winged ball down the field.  The Snitch flew straight into Harry's grasp.  It was totally unfair.  But legal.

The game had ended and Malfoy fumed. The victory was a bit anti-climatic, but it was beautiful.   Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle only refrained from hexing every one on sight because it would mean docking house points. Gryffindor had a victory party scheduled that night and Ginny ran straight for the Room of Requirement after the match, not changing out of her Quidditch robes, inciting some angry looks from the Slytherin members.  She truly should have been wearing athletic wear for the meeting, but of the boxing variety.

The meeting seemed to go on forever while the girls argued shamelessly over each prospective member.

"What's wrong with Marietta? What do you have against her?!"  Lisa Turpin yelled.

To everyone's astonishment it was Linda who spoke up,  "Wasn't she the one who ratted out the DA last year?  She's untrustworthy!  She had SNEAK written across her face for three days until Madame Pomfrey could get it off!"

"Big mouthed bitch,"  Millicent added.  Ginny fumed along with Susan who was quickly shedding her shyness for a serious grip on her wand.

"Stop it with the language!"  Hermione shouted.  "We didn't start this group so that we could bash each other.  This is a _democracy_.  We're _all_ virgins here, we are _all_ at risk, so stop being so high and mighty.  You're not the only ones with an interest in how this turns out!"  Pansy said nothing.  She wouldn't disagree with her classmates but wouldn't publicly agree with Hermione yet.  She was correct.

"Yeah, like _you_ knew Melanie," hissed Roberta, kicking in her two Sickles.

"I know Melanie," Luna quietly said, putting it in the present tense.  "She likes apples and the squid in the lake.  She calls him Hermit because he likes to hide. Melanie likes magical creatures but doesn't tell anyone because you don't much care for Hagrid." She said this while pulling on a stray thread on her rather colorful skirt.  "She has a special interest in Herbology and had a crush last year on Neville."  Luna's soft voice broke the angry spirit of the group.

They had been arguing for an hour now on the nitpicky characteristics of each candidate for membership.  Luna's little speech provided an appropriate intro for Pansy's interjection. 

They were running out of virgins.  It seemed funny to Hermione that Pansy would be the one to ask them to have faith.

----------------

The next week flew by as well and Hermione slept through her worry trying to block out the inevitable discussion that would take place the following Saturday.  Snape had Hermione review all laboratory tests regarding the chemical make-up of certain potions ingredients that week.  She was thrilled to look at it, but the data was truly boring even to her.  They were beginning with the evaluation of a Calming Draught and the function of a pinch of the active ingredient, powdered moonstone.

It was Friday and their big meeting was tomorrow after Hogsmeade weekend. 

"Hermione?"  Ginny whispered form the door.  "Are you up?"

"Yeah."  Her friend whispered back and Ginny sat on the foot of her bed.  "Any ideas?"

"Nope.  You?"

"Not a one,"  Hermione said weakly.  _Not one alternative to getting shagged_.

"Any prospects?"

Hermione let out a 'you've-got-to be-kidding-me' huff.

"I think Anthony Goldstein likes you.  I saw the way he looked at you the last DA meeting,"  Ginny offered.

"You are not helping.  Anthony is no more interested in me than…  he was looking at my…" Ginny was smiling.  "Oh, quit it, I'm not interested.  Just because he likes me doesn't mean he's ready to jump in the sack.  What about Harry?"  Turnabout was fair play.

Ginny blushed immediately.    "He…. well, we met this evening…"

Hermione got excited, finally something good was happening to someone that didn't involve danger, ridicule or docking of house points.  "Ok, spill."

"He was really nice, Hermione.  It's like the whole stupid boy phase is over.  He stuttered, you know?  Kind of weird seeing him be the one nervous around me."  Ginny hid a grin but couldn't prevent it from eventually flooding her face.

"That's great, Ginny."  But Hermione was feeling a bit jealous she had no one to bestow her affection on.  She immediately felt guilty for her feelings of envy.

"Harry kissed me goodnight…"  Hermione gasped, "…on the cheek," Ginny added.  "And he told me he was looking forward to Hogsmeade tomorrow."  Ginny bit her lip.  Harry had just grazed her hand with his and sent her nearly to a place of dizzy confusion before retiring to bed.  Ginny had wandered straight to Hermione's room too wired for sleep herself.

"So tell me," Hermione brought them back to the topic at hand.  "Do you think you're both ready to go from a peck on the cheek to sex?"  Ginny bristled and left, but was thinking along the same lines.  It was easy enough to fantasize about her almost boyfriend but quite a leap to make that a reality.

Neither of them slept a wink.

Hermione forced herself up from her restless position on the bed and claimed her shower first, entering the library at seven in the morning.  Anthony Goldstein, the 16-year-old Ravenclaw Prefect was there and appeared to be waiting for her, anticipating her arrival at the library to get in some study before Hogsmeade.

"Hermione, good morning."  The handsome dark-haired, brown-eyed boy stood almost a half a head taller than her, already possessing some of the qualities that would likely turn the heads of the ladies in his older years.

"Hi, Anthony.  What are you doing here so early?"

"Well, I know it's late notice, but I was hoping that you might be free for Hogsmeade, well… after Hogsmeade to share a butterbeer with me on the front steps?"

_Goodness, he had only come to see her.  _"I don't know Anthony, I have plans this afternoon."  He looked disappointed. "That's very nice of you though.  If I didn't have the… thing, I would be happy to.  Maybe some other time?"  She added quickly, not wanting to squash her only chance for a possible prospective… _Oh, stop thinking about it._

"Oh well, I guess I'll see you then.  Don't let them run all over you,"  he commented trying to pull in a bit of a joke to cover up his awkward feelings of rejection.  She wondered to herself if he was really interested in her, or if Anthony had just heard the rumor being spread that she might be easy.  That made her a little angry, but there were consequences for her decision to begin that tale and she was willing to accept that under the circumstances.

As she entered a row of defense against the dark arts texts she ran into Professor Snape who was searching for something.  He, of course, had overheard the whole thing and was wearing a vinegary expression which reminded her of McGonagall's reproachful looks.

"Miss Granger, you are up early this morning."  He saw the dark circles under her eyes and recalled the last few weeks.  "Are you quite sure you can keep up with your classmates today, in such a opportunistic setting for mischief?"  Hermione glared at him and clenched her jaw to keep her mouth shut.  She didn't want their extra classes together to give her the false impression that she could get away with whatever comment she wanted.

"I'm sure everything will go well.  I don't expect that any _Gryffindor_ students will be a problem," insinuating that it was the students in his own house that were more apt to disappear.

"I will meet you in the Great Hall at ten then," he added.  "I will be escorting the Gryffindors, and Professor McGonagall will be escorting the Slytherin group.  The Headmaster thought that would ensure compliance and stifle any favoritism and exceptions made between students."  Hermione gulped.  Snape and her, escorting the students.  "After all, romance is in the air," he said with thick sarcasm and well placed pauses in his speech for emphasis.  "We wouldn't want anyone to go… unaccounted for."

"Well then, I'll feel certain that no one will feel compelled to stray under your nose."  _Oh!_  She meant to say watchful eye.  _Shit._

Snape slithered past her with his book, and left the library without a word except the scowl he wore.  Hermione hated to think she had just alienated a man who was already ostracized in many ways by several people, and her last thought was whether or not she had taken enough time in the bathroom this morning with her hair.  _God, this crush thing was really taking too much energy to be considered remotely productive. _ _But what else could she think about?_  She was going to patrol Hogsmeade alongside Severus Snape, and shortly afterward was going to endure the plotting from nineteen other girls about how, who and whether or not to get laid.  How could she not put the two together?__

The grouping of students was crowded and Professor McGonagall addressed the mob.  "May I have your attention?"  Students immediately quieted.  Minerva was one who could ensure discipline with her firm tone.  "Let me be absolutely clear that you are not to leave your respective groups.  You must stay with your teacher, or staff member," she added looking at Filch, "…and prefect assigned to you.  If anyone violates the rules set forth for your safety there will be no more Hogsmeade weekends for _any_ of you." 

All of the students looked around worriedly that one of them might betray their only privilege.  "So, I am sure that each of you will take it upon yourselves to make sure all of you stay together?"  Nods from everyone. 

"Very well then," she said alongside the peacock, Draco.  Pansy followed closely behind him.  She was determined to pick up where the Yule Ball had left off two years ago.  He was grossly lacking in any social graces then, merely wanting a date to the ball to prevent the embarrassment of going alone rather than actually entertain his beautiful date.  She was determined to change that perception.  Pansy had been a Prefect too and didn't miss her duties so much as the power she had to lord over other students and the look of status it offered.  It seemed unimportant now when all she could think about was being safe.  It was a strange clash of feelings— her genuine attraction for Draco was really dampened by her wish to end her life as an object to be used by the Dark Lord.  Draco may very well follow in his father's footsteps, in fact she supposed that he was expected to.

McGonagall gave them both a bit of space as they walked the group of Slytherins toward The Three Broomsticks.  Many students envious eyes were traveling toward Honeydukes, spying the happy Hufflepuffs who were permitted to travel there first to purchase sweets of all imaginable varieties.

"Are you slated for Quidditch practice today?"  she asked, trying to make small talk. Pansy hoped she hadn't bruised his ego after the painful loss last week.  Snape had snapped at them for not booking every available weekend sooner.  He definitely wanted them to have the advantage next match.

"Yeah, but only until six.  Hah!  The Gryffindor's have to practice after dinner when it gets dark!"  Pansy smiled weakly but this really wasn't what she wanted to be discussing. Draco was not as bad as he used to be in reading body language however. "So what are you doing this evening?"

Pansy was unprepared for that comment and didn't know what to say.  "Nothing special, yet."  She added 'yet' at the last, cursing herself for making herself appear far too available.

"Well then, maybe we could go out after dinner and walk the maze while it's still light out."  The labyrinth was free of deadly creatures since the Triwizard tournament and was a popular place for snogging. 

"Sure."  Pansy for once in her life was totally speechless.  Draco brushed her arm as they walked but made it appear accidental.  She hoped he wasn't toying with her, a swift glance from McGonagall behind her reminded Pansy of the rumors which were spreading about some of the girls, including her.  _Well,_ she thought, _there were rumors enough already from several boys in her class long before this year, but it didn't mean that everyone believed them._

"Save your Galleons!"  Fred and George called out.  "Weasley's' Wizarding Wheezes!  Open all day on Hogsmeade weekends!  You can't go to Diagon Alley, so we bring Diagon Alley to you!"  The  red-and-white striped twins looked like walking peppermint sticks and sounded like the old mustached ringmasters at carnivals… _Step right up, yes little missy, do we have a treat for you!  If I guess your weight correctly, you will receive a free Portable Swamp!  _Hermione laughed to herself, they were perfect for marketing and selling their wares to the masses. 

She stopped halfway to their destination, and Snape grumbled.  "This isn't on our schedule, Miss Granger."

"Are you telling me that you're _eager _to get to Madam Puddifoot's for a cup of pink tea in a heart shaped cup?" Hermione pestered.  It wasn't even Valentine's Day but she could picture the place now.  It was grotesque even by her own standards. "I thought you were concerned about lust-filled students venturing out on their own, sir."

_Humph._ He snorted.  Snape had no desire to go to that atrocious tea shop.  He instead stood with Hermione and the throng of students as they tested various chews, pellets and tonics.  It was truly a grotesque sight as people threw up and got well, fainted and were revived.  Firecrackers were noisy and had startled some in the group who weren't paying attention, but it was the experimental Winds of Change cracker which blew fiercely in the face of Snape and Hermione. 

After a few minutes of pushing into the forceful current of air, during which they were unable to see, Snape yelled for them to stop but his rumbling could not be heard over the howling wind.  Fred and George quickly got the picture and finally the cracker had run it's course leaving only a light breeze.  On the plus side, it had been a rather warm day.  On the minus side Hermione's hair was a bushy mess of madness and she could feel how high it must have stood out from her head.  If the wind had blown any harder, it might have gone permanently straight. Some students laughed, and it was hilarious.  Hermione finally managed to chuckle at herself, though it was difficult in present company.  Snape's hair, of course, looked the same as it did before the attack.  _How did he do that?_  Snape looked at her in amusement as Fred and George apologized to the Professor for the uncontrolled burst of nature. 

Hermione blushed a bit and regained control of her emotions, reaching up to her hair blindly, tying and arranging it attractively on the back of her head with a clip she had fished from her pocket.  With her hair out of her face, he could see Celtic knots dangling from her earlobes.  They had probably always hung there, hidden from view by her normal untamed hairstyle.  A wisp of wavy hair came loose from her twist and hung in her face, maturing her again to the age she had appeared to be that night at Rue Nineteen as Myra Winters.  She was a beautiful young woman, and seemed out of place now amongst her younger peers.  She didn't seem so interested in the things which occupied her classmates.  Snape knew that the time turner had done more than advance her age— she had the sensibilities of someone far more mature than her years.  Her shoulders back, she appeared taller than her height, carrying a startling confidence about her so easily shaken many years ago by a single harsh word.  Now she had at least the good humor to laugh at herself.  That was something that he in his youth had been unable to do.

They had spent too much time at the Weasley's joke stand and now many couples, namely girls, were upset that they didn't have enough time for a cup of tea and smooching at Madame Puddifoot's.  Harry and Ginny didn't mind, as that was their original agreement.  They picked up iced lattes to go and Hermione spied Harry slip his hand into Ginny's to hold it.  Ron tried to stay back, feeling a little displaced by the couple, still not quite used to the idea of his sister and his best friend hooking up.  Hermione bought Ron a frozen Cappuccino and handed it to him.  The clinked their plastic cups together and drank to friendship.  Hermione locked Ron into the hug of a close friend, instantly brightening his mood. 

Gladrags Wizardwear was their next stop, but they couldn't enter with their drinks.  Ron and Hermione sat outside on the steps to finish them in companionable silence while they slurped the coffee confection through pink straws.  They watched the Slytherin group finally make their way to Honeydukes, the one reason Ron had been saving his money.

"They're doing really well aren't they?"  Hermione gestured to the twins booth.

"Hmm?"  Ron asked distractedly.  "Oh yeah, yeah, they are.  Even though Mum's not quite hooked onto the idea yet."

Hermione peered behind her doing another head count.  Snape was inside and gave her a nod.  "Well I'm sure she'd prefer for them to go to school, but they seem pretty self-sufficient.  I hope they continue next year, if only to finish up.  I'm sure their going to outsell Zonko's someday.  Sooner if they keep this up… Ron?  Hello Ron?"

Ron's gaze stayed transfixed on a girl standing before Fred and George.  Hermione waved a hand in front of his face with a snap of her fingers to get his attention.  "Huh?  Oh, sorry."

"Ronald Weasley, is there something you're not sharing with your dear friend?"  Hermione swatted him on the arm playfully.

"What do think about… Daphne?"  He said a bit dreamily, a bit hesitantly.

"Greengrass?  She's not my type."  Hermione laughed.  A Slytherin girl.  She was nice enough, but poor Ron didn't stand a chance in the state he was in.  "I guess the more important question is, what do _you_ think about her?"

"She's… um… I mean she's…"  Ron was stumped, still gazing at her.

Hermione patted him on the arm. "Keep working on that train of thought Ron, and I'll get back to you.  I'm going to go inside."  She rose and Ron finished the rest of his frozen coffee, tapping the bottom of the cup to get to the last bit.  The contents at the bottom released all at once and it missed part of his mouth dribbling down his chin.  Hermione was quick and handed him a napkin.  Ron had hoped he was quick enough to miss Daphne's glance his direction.  He turned a bright shade of red and thankfully, Daphne only smiled which made his blush remain for minutes longer.

Hermione made one pass through the rather pricey sales racks trying to keep all of the students in sight especially the girls.  The cottage was large and there were several exits in the back, also dressing rooms that one could lose oneself in for far longer than the thirty minutes they had allotted to spend.  Hermione fingered a few items as she walked by, thinking of a dress to wear for a special occasion like the Yule Ball.  She had outgrown the ones she had and they were too youthful for her current tastes. 

On her second pass the attendant had noticed her.  Hermione had stopped in front of a beautiful formal silk cape and gown.  The set was a lovely shade of deep midnight crimson, bordering on black with an almost burnished orange at the elegant hem, suggestive of a sunset.  Her fingers danced over the silky sweetheart neckline and found the price tag.  She took in a sharp intake of breath.  _Sixty five Galleons for the robe,  one-hundred twenty for the matching cloak.  Mercy.  _But it was 100% silk, and she could almost grin at the thought that Snape was in actuality purchasing this for her.  It was his money after all, jingling in her sack.

"May I help you try these on?" Snape heard the saleswoman offer sweetly, "I daresay you have the figure for this lovely ensemble."

"Actually,"  said Hermione looking around, "I won't have the time here today."  Some of the students were bored and already peering out of the windows at the other shops, while Lavender tried on every feathered hat in the store.  She didn't have much time.  "But can I exchange them if they don't fit properly?"

The saleswoman heart leapt a bit at the promise of a sale.  When Hermione said she didn't have time the salesperson thought she was one more student whose eyes were bigger than her pocketbook.

"Of course dear!" exclaimed the saleswoman, happy that she could manage a sale of this magnitude on a weekend when all of her usual patrons had vacated Hogsmeade for the day, avoiding the noisy students like the plague.  Marcie was the printed on her brass nametag.

Hermione looked at the tags again.  "I don't suppose you have a sale coming up do you, Marcie?"  She mentioned her name as a plea for leniency.  Two-hundred Galleons was quite a bit of money for a single purchase.

The witch looked at Hermione and sighed.  She didn't want to lose her commission the following weekend to another salesperson.  "Next weekend is a half off sale for end of season, so just between us," she whispered low,  "I'll give you my employee discount now.  Is that alright?"

"Yes, ma'am."  Hermione brightened.  She smiled, wanting to run her fingers over the fabric one more time, but Marcie had already whisked it away, removing the tags and wrapping it up.  Snape watched with mild interest at Hermione's obviously substantial purchase.  He was standing near the door, looking ready to leave with the anxious group.

Hermione poured out Galleons on the scale provided until it calculated ninety-five.  Snape was shocked she would carry around such a sum, but then perhaps she was expecting to come here.  Hermione left with her shrunken purchase in her pocket.  Hands free once again she met Snape at the door and motioned for the group to follow them to Honeydukes.

Hermione decided to forgo a purchase of chocolate on such a hot day, she had a bad experience before with that.  Most students however were eating their fill of sweets right there in the store.  Snape looked uninterested in most items, though he spied an enormous bag of Lemon Drops, likely specially packaged for the Headmaster's needs for quantity. 

Hermione tried to remain calm on the way to their next stop, a tempting one for her— Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop.  She avoided going in, content to stay outside she kept telling herself, periodically looking in the window to count students.  Her interests in this store were entirely too specific and her voracious appetite would be far too obvious for certain parties if she were to enter.  She didn't trust herself here, and she could have a serious shopping problem on her hands if she was left to her own devices.   _You just spent quite a bit at Gladrags_, she told herself.  It was a small store and students wandered in and out, eager for their next stop— the Three Broomsticks.  When Snape descended the steps, Hermione didn't even notice.  She had become distracted by a particularly handsome feather quill in the window.  It was horribly expensive— one of the finer instruments handmade by the Cross family.  Once they had made their fortune in the Muggle world, they focused on their family business in the wizarding one.  Snape was one to notice details and people.  Hermione appeared utterly enchanted by the items in the window, so much so that the vendor was walking toward the door to greet her.  Hermione noticed the subtle movement and waved him off.  When she turned she was startled by Snape's presence.  He was looking at her. 

He wasn't embarrassed to be caught staring but quickly covered up the awkwardness with a biting remark,  "Miss Granger, as fascinating as this trip may be, you have been here before and will again.  Please focus your attention on your fellow classmates." 

"Yes, sir."  Hermione recovered herself and tried to redirect her thoughts to things besides his voice, height, eyes, and unnerving presence. He wasn't a terribly handsome man just to look at him, but the whole package radiated seduction.

Hermione and Snape didn't say much on the way to the Three Broomsticks.  Hermione inhaled deeply and Snape thought she was taking in the fine day.  But in fact the Weasley's had set off another Winds of Change cracker again and the breeze had caught Snape's musky scent.  He smelled of sandalwood and potions ingredients.  Snape's scent was familiar, and Hermione was a bit surprised that she could recognize it.  It must have been the summer in that chair and in his den in the lab.  It was then she began to think she was officially losing it. 

She rejoined Ron, Ginny and Harry for a butterbeer to clear her head of desires which could never be acknowledged or satisfied.  The Ravenclaw students strolled in behind, joining them in the spacious cottage there.  Professor Sprout made the announcement that mingling was fine but in forty five minutes the groups would split again.  Ginny noticed Hermione scan the group of Ravenclaw boys, discarding from her mind the boys already attached, and then made eye contact with Anthony.  He smiled.  Hermione excused herself, but part of her didn't want Snape to see her with Anthony after this morning. 

She joined Anthony at a table, now that they could share their butterbeers alone.  "Didn't think we'd get the chance to do this," he said.  He had a deep voice and it was not at all unappealing.  Hermione tried to focus on their conversation.  He was a nice boy, and was her only prospect.

"Yeah, I'm glad we're here in a larger group.  I think the students were a bit upset to be divided along house lines, I know many of them have friends in other houses."

"Do you think they'll revolt?"  He drank his butterbeer with a playful smile after his jibe.

"Very funny, but you know, I think they just might?"

"What do you suggest?"  Anthony voice dipped even lower and Hermione couldn't be sure if he was making a weak attempt at a double-entendre or just being manly. 

"Actually I think we should have students sign up for groups no larger than a certain size so that people can decide who they want to go with.  Though, I don't think that will help the Prefects much."  Anthony smiled; she had considered the both of them.

Hermione didn't know what she was really feeling.  The upcoming meeting was looming overhead and she didn't want to use Anthony if she wasn't genuinely interested.  At the same time she wanted desperately to rid herself of her futile interest in Professor Snape.  Anthony was nice enough, and offered to take her out on a picnic tomorrow for lunch by the lake.  She accepted, and looked up.  The students were already splitting up.  Before she knew it the time had flown and Anthony got up from his chair, sad himself that their conversation had ended.  He was very intelligent.  Arithmancy was his thing and Hermione still held a keen interest in the subject as well.  He talked about his family and friends easily, Hermione was impressed that she had managed to find someone his age so comfortable with himself.

The rest of the afternoon went without incident and Hermione tried to avoid looking at Snape.  She attempted to think of Anthony, but all she could see were Snape's swirling black robes kicked behind him, his depression in the leather study chair at Headquarters, his silky deep voice, sexy even when he was hurling an insult.  It was really unfair.

-----------------

In the Room of Requirement, Hermione looked at the faces of her peers in amazement, many of which she did not expect would be staring back at her.  Hannah Abbott,  the once silly Hufflepuff girl in pigtails, now with newfound confidence since the DA, was nervously sitting beside Susan.  Susan Bones had brought her and obviously felt convinced of her interest and dedication to bring her before the group.  All members had voted her in, after their heated conversations about the worthiness, dependability, and  trustworthiness of each girl.  Natalie, a Gryffindor in Hermione's year sat beside Susan quietly taking inventory of the unique diversity in their group.   Tracey Davis, a seventeen-year old Slytherin and a known thief was agreed upon as well, along with Felicia Rosier and Dora Wilkes, both fifteen year-old Slytherins from families of Death Eaters. 

Even though the Slytherin students obviously outnumbered the members from other houses, they clearly didn't care about that anymore.  The pureblooded witches had a serious investment in the outcome of this group.  The youngest member, Emma Dobbs, was in her Fourth year, just barely fourteen years old.  Some other Slytherins stared at her, lingering a bit too long, likely thinking about Melanie.  There had been no news on the missing and five weeks had passed since their mysterious disappearance.  Sally-Ann Perks, "the perky prefect" also joined them, a ridiculously cheerful Hufflepuff who reminded most people of a loathed Aunt who smothered you, hugged and patted your arm invading personal space.  She was miraculously solemn today.  Hermione hadn't heard her story yet.  It seems they all had one to tell.

Emma was sitting beside her good friend Laura Madley, also in her year and House.  They were sitting under a table in the library to study, one of their favorite places they liked to hang out, undisturbed by anyone so they could both study and tell secrets.  That was where Hannah had been approached by Susan and it was all over.  They hadn't intended on finding any member so young but it was unavoidable: they were in the know, and surprisingly were immediately serious about joining.  They both knew Melanie had gone and were extremely worried for her.

In the previous meeting, Pansy and Hermione had eventually lost their tempers, howling that Voldemort didn't care one whit which virgin he could find so long as she could be exploited, so why should they be so discriminatory against their own sisters if He wasn't?  That settled matters quite quickly and slowly the threads of trust began to form and weave throughout the members of the group.  So it was, that even Marietta Edgecombe, the traitor and formerly reluctant DA member had been voted in. 

Orla Quirke came in last, the Ravenclaw who could was almost invisible from her introverted posture and study habits.  She was in her fourth year, but missed a year due to illness making her fifteen and a half.  She was quiet to an almost frightening level.  People whispered about her being touched in the head, like she was a time-bomb.  Classmates were afraid of her, but Lisa invited her and that was a high endorsement.  Truthfully, her bout of illness took her away from her friends and she returned changed, more withdrawn, no longer in the classes with the peers she had been sorted with.  Everyone thought Orla had changed, the truth was all was that the students had changed, treating Orla differently than they had before her absence.

"Let's get started,"  Pansy said.  "All of you have been personally selected to hear a bit about what we all planning and I must say for all of our sakes, that it is not acceptable for any of us to talk with _anyone_ about what is discussed here, under _any _circumstances.  The walls of Hogwarts have eyes and ears, so what we discuss needs to be brought to this room.  I know a lot of you are in the DA, and jolly good for you," she said sarcastically.  "This is not the DA.  All of you are here because we are all virgins and we are under attack.  Hermione, you want to fill us in?"

"In the early summer, it came to my attention from a good source that You-Know-Who it gathering a list of known virgins at this school,"  some gasped hearing this so plainly, "and that he may have already taken several students for that purpose."  She tactfully mentioned this without specifying the missing.  "Since that time, Pansy and I have been reading everything we can get our hands on about the use of virgins.  The material is rarely printed and as I am sure you have heard Professor Lupin say, knowledge concerning virginal magic has been largely lost."

There was some murmuring among the girls, but it subsided once Hermione continued.  "From what we've been able to gather, our best guess is that You-Know-Who plans to use an unknown number of virgins to bring down the wards of Hogwarts."  More gasping and murmuring ensued.  "We think it's likely that he is looking at students from this school.  Most seventh year students here are no longer abstinent, and he is not able to use the younger students, thankfully."

Susan leaned over to Laura and Emma to whisper the meaning of abstinence.

"So it comes down to what do we do?"  Pansy jumped to the ultimate question.  "The choice is for all of us to get shagged and mark us all off his list, leaving him with not enough eligible virgins to choose from, or— and I wouldn't recommend playing this game, make it strongly appear that you have already had sex, by going to Madam Pomfrey to get a potion as well as spreading careful rumors about your reputation with a certain boy or boys."  Some of the girls seemed a bit taken aback at the suggestion, particularly the youngest three.

Hermione hated it that she hadn't come up with another solution.  "It seems that what he needs is virginal blood, so you wouldn't need to actually sleep with someone to rid yourself of this weapon," she said for lack of a better term.  "Doing it yourself would prevent you from having to make that choice even though it may not seem very appealing."  Many of the girls made horrible faces at her suggestion.  Most of them thought if they were going to make that sacrifice, at least their first time would be at the hands of a man and not an object.  Pansy glared at her, knowing that she was having problems with the decision on whether to shag or not to shag.

There was a clamor of discussion and then some yelling as people couldn't hear themselves think.

"QUIET!" screamed Millicent Bulstrode.  "That's better.  I don't see what there is to decide.  I say, we're adjourned.  Let's go get laid."

"Wait a second!" exclaimed Orla.  "I'd like to know how Hermione came to know that You-Know-Who was even putting together a list."  Everyone was stunned that she spoke, but it was a good question.  Most had just taken Hermione at her word.  Ginny wondered how she'd wiggle out of this one.

"I apologize, but I can't say."   There was more dissention among the ranks and Hermione spoke louder.  "We all are here because we are in danger; Hogwarts is in danger.  I can't reveal my source because that person or persons also face the same danger."

"So was that what the whole bellflower thing was about?"  Tracey said with some annoyance.

"Partly,"  Pansy responded taking the heat off of Hermione.  "If someone is making a list our status would've been all over the school in no time.  We don't know who might be making a list, but we suspect it might be Professor Snape."

There were more sharp intakes of breath from non-Slytherin students and whispering among the Slytherin girls who weren't children of Death Eaters.

"He might, he might not.  Point is, we need to take this problem out," Pansy said.

"There are only twenty of us here, how can we stop him, what about the younger virgins?"  Emma asked.

"He can only use girls who have already developed desire… for romantic interests.  The stronger the desire, the stronger the magic becomes.  The students under fourteen won't be useful,"  Hermione explained.

"What stops him from trying again next year and the year after that?"  Marietta asked.

Hermione didn't have an answer to that, it was her own question two weeks ago.

Pansy answered.  "Right now we have to concern ourselves with the present.  We can't worry about what's out of our control later.  Are there any more questions?"

Many more questions were bantered around and many girls fidgeted.  After taking a vote, all agreed to lose their virginity one way or another.  Hermione agreed to provide the youngest— and whichever other members required it, with the easiest method of breaking their hymen .  They agreed to convene in two weeks.  Pansy and Hermione agreed to remain available to talk if the others needed an ear.

Hermione was distracted at dinner and couldn't eat a bite.  The other members didn't do much better.

Draco met Pansy at the front of the labyrinth but before they could begin, he was called away on Prefect business.  Pansy's hopes for anything real or staged evaporated and she left for her Common Room.

Ginny met Harry in a small alcove where they talked about nonsense for a while, working out their nervousness.  Ginny was still wired from the meeting and after Harry's third "What is it?", he settled for pulling her into a close embrace.  She settled into his chest and laid her head on his shoulder to let the tears fall.  He stroked her hair and rubbed her back.  Harry didn't ask and she was grateful.

Millicent was on the prowl and looked around the Slytherin Common Room for a man.  Her options were limited.  She had beaten up most of her peers at some point or another.  Leaving to plot in her room, she was faced with her own expression of ugliness staring back from the mirror in front of her.  She never made any effort with her appearance.  Disgusted but willing to do anything, she decided it was time for a makeover.

Despite the Quidditch party raging downstairs, Hermione sat motionless in her bed.  She couldn't even find the interest to put on her new dress.  She was numb.  Most girls sat in their rooms paralyzed like Hermione.  They had a whole two weeks.  Some wished to get it over with as quickly as possible, but most wanted to postpone the unavoidable task.

The next day was Sunday and when lunchtime arrived she was famished.  Anthony was sweet, and had packed a picnic basket he transfigured for their use with sandwiches they nicked from the kitchens.  They spread a blanket out under an oak tree by the lake and talked about everything.  Hermione felt is easy to talk about anything that would keep her mind off getting shagged, but she was sitting on a blanket with a boy who might be her potential mate. It made her shudder. 

His intentions were genuine, and he appeared to be honestly interested in her, not because of some rumor.  They drank lemonade and laughed about the last Quidditch game until they cried.  It wasn't Hermione primary interest of course, but Harry's last catch while stationary in front of Malfoy was the stuff of legend.  And when Anthony did his impression of the former graduate Lee Jordan, somewhat biased commentator of every match for years, Hermione was in tears and on her side.

"Harry's just waiting to make his move—wisely doesn't waste any energy that one—and here comes Malfoy, Harry's letting him do all the work for him,  Will they collide?!"  He tickled her, making her laugh even harder and he felt over in a fit of laughter when he couldn't keep up his imitation anymore, reverting back to his normal voice.  He leaned in on his elbow, not talking anymore and Hermione met his gaze. Closing her eyes, she let him take her— his lips brushing ever so gently first, pressing a warm soft kiss to her mouth.  She leaned in and continued the kiss, her mouth parted slightly and tasted the sour sweetness of the lemonade he drank with his lunch.  It was nice. 

_Nice enough_, that's what she would remember walking arm in arm with him back to the castle a few minutes later the blanket tucked under his arm and a basket in his left hand.  It was tasteful, and brief.  He didn't press.  No awkward extension of a physical relationship which did not match their current pace of the emotional aspects of their dating.

He was a nice boy. He was nice.  That's what she remembered. 

She couldn't hurt him, couldn't use him like that.  It wasn't him she was thinking of.  _Why didn't he approach her last year?  Why didn't boys have good timing?  _WHY?!

_Damn it._

Hermione sat in bed awake, tossing and turning, half asleep because she worried about what the next item she might miss. She had only just happened upon The Brownheimer Antidote reference.  _What if she wasn't as lucky next time?_  It killed her that she didn't have more answers, and that she had little time to come up with a different solution.

Hermione knew what she was really afraid of.  She didn't want to lose her virginity to a total stranger.  She wasn't interested in any boys at school, and Ron was thankfully pursuing other interests.  Ginny had Harry, and Pansy probably Draco (_ewww__!)_.  _Who did she have?_  _Snape?  Some sadistic old potions master who didn't know she existed beyond good grades and goody-two-shoes behavior?_  Hermione didn't think she was such a little naïve girl with no interests beyond books.  It was a shame that was obviously the impression she gave to others.  Harry and Ron came to her for problem solving and studying.  And Ron said that '_she would never.'  Never.  That was a horrible thought, but she didn't think she'd be faced with a decision of this magnitude so soon.  _

Victor had been interested in pursuing things further the summer before last, but he was older and Hermione was unready to push the physical aspect of their relationship far beyond their actual emotional attachment.  Victor and her were no more than good friends.  Some serious snogging didn't make them any closer.  At least Victor had been a gentleman.  She was truly surprised he had kept up with their correspondence after that.

She walked to the Room of Requirement with her books, unable to sleep.  She borrowed Harry's cloak, and he agreed, thinking she was going to the library.  She slipped up to the fifth floor, narrowly avoiding Mrs. Norris.  When she knew there wasn't so much as a spider looking her way she paced and opened the door.

A room full of dildos and other sexual devices stared back at her.  She slammed the door, shocked that it would provide her with such an option.  The thunderous slam of the door echoed through the hall and down the stairs.  She blushed red, even though no one was around.  _She didn't want to lose her virginity to an object did she?  And did that count?_  She guessed it did solve her problem somewhat, ridding her of the membrane containing the priceless weapon within.  She wouldn't have to choose some boy to waste undeserved affection on.  _What else could she do?_ 

She opened the door again and in the middle of the room was a piano with a book on it.  She walked forward into the room again, wondering what solution next presented itself.  The black bound leather book was the Holy Bible. 

_That's it.  Just great.  Let laid, masturbate, or pray.  Those are my choices?_

It was too late for her to think about why the room had provided what it did, but it did give her some respite.  She hadn't played in several weeks and knew a concerto or two would calm her frayed nerves.  She took her place on the bench, a replica of her piano at the Headquarters.  She wondered in the back of her mind if it was the same one, if her piano there had mysteriously vanished but then shook off the thought.  That would be too easy.  She looked for music in her bench and then found the exact piece she was looking for materialize in front of her on the music stand.  She let her mind wander as she played, comforted by the chords and hammering out her frustrations when the score reached crescendos.

She finally stopped after 40 minutes or so had passed, returning to her half of the book.  She took out her quill, ready to jot down notes on what other potions and spells she wouldn't be able to perform, flowers she wouldn't be able to pick, animals she couldn't see or befriend once she gave up her power.  She worked quickly, making notes of the titles and purposes of each potion or spell, and then skipping to the next.  She could go back later.  This book clearly wasn't common knowledge.

Hermione was outraged as she couldn't believe this information had been lost.  The magnitude of some of the spells was overwhelming.  She couldn't imagine what Pansy's section might have to say.  Now that Pansy knew about wards, she felt strongly at this point Pansy had the more important half.  The very thought made her shudder.  Remus had discussed the loss of knowledge in class and she remembered her other purchase's remarks as well.  _Was this a power she really wanted to give up?_  _Maybe she could find a way to collect her own blood and create these potent potions from it.  It could be helpful in the war.  It could help Harry._  That was a better solution than any she had come up with so far. 

She came upon the last page in her section and she skimmed it.  _Wall of Desire.  _It seemed fascinating and it was making a reference to somewhere else in the book, but as quickly as it's mention the page ended and— _damn, but Pansy had the other half!  _She couldn't charm her clasp now, it was eleven thirty.  Pansy would be asleep by now.  But she took a chance and charmed anyway.  Sure enough, Pansy was up the steps shortly, obviously having stayed up to read herself.

"I need to look at your half of the book, do you have it?"  Hermione pressed urgently.

"Yeah," Pansy replied, pulling it from her own sack.  She handed it to her and saw Hermione immediately read the first page.

"Have you read this?"  Hermione asked feverishly and she digested the contents of the page.

"No, it wasn't complete, so I started at the next heading."  Pansy shrugged and looked a bit confused as she noted Hermione's flurry of movement.

"Damn it, why don't these things have page numbers?!"  Hermione cursed.  "Have you read more on the wards?  Did you read anything about spells of desire or casting spells on yourself?"

"Why?  Need help in that department?"  She snorted a mocking laugh.  "A lust potion will do.  Come on Hermione, you just need to get shagged.  It's not complicated… you don't have to _study.  _No grades."  Pansy teased.

Hermione rolled her eyes.  "That's not what I meant, Pansy.  Don't you even want to find out what He's up to?  I figured there are probably so few references to virgins anywhere that this is probably one of the few texts left which mentions anything.  It's probably in here!"  She slammed the book down in frustration and stared at it.  "We need to find out which spell You-Know-Who is working on.  How many does he need?  At least the spell that the Wall of Desire was referring to!"

"What Wall of Desire? …" Pansy said, but her train of thought was interrupted by the whoosh of pages as the book sprang open to the desired page.  Hermione and Pansy were stunned.  _Why hadn't they thought of that before?_

Hermione and Pansy peered down at the page.  On the left was the end of a spell and the next one held a title for erecting powerful wards.  They looked at each other and each read a page.

_'It is of course preferred that most participants are willing, increasing chances for success.  Approximately 25 units of blood is required from cooperative subjects.  Gathering this can be difficult.  Blood mixed with other substances, such as saliva or ejaculate, or blood collected from the floor, bed or other contaminated surface cannot be used...'  _Hermione paled considerably from the frankness of the text.  At least it wouldn't be easy for Voldemort to exploit them.__

_'To Erect Powerful Wards:  The same twenty are required as mentioned previously.  Blood doesn't have to be gathered during the ritual though it is a valuable method of collection, the witches in question will expend their maidenhead during the ritual without losing their innocence, therefore blood collection is possible.  Note:  Wards erected by this group cannot be destroyed by blood of the same virgins.  _Pansy sat transfixed by her section of reading.  _Each virgin stands at the point of the pentacle, symbol of…_

"Pansy, can I flip back?"  She grumbled but released her hold on the book temporarily to let Hermione glance at the heading of the spell she was reading.  Several pages back she read aloud, "Oh my God!  Forceful Destruction of Ancient Wards.  Could it be any plainer?!"  They looked at each other in mutual panic and skimmed the spells requirements.  "Quickly, pass me that quill,"  Hermione snapped, quickly jotting some mathematical computations.  "How many does he need…" Pansy heard Hermione mutter under her breath.  "How many…"  _Wow, there are two pages on hymen alone here.  _She skimmed, surprised at the revelation that not ever girl was born with a hymen, and that not even every membrane contained blood.  Doing this by force would be difficult.  "Twenty five units…  At least thirty-five girls, if they were all born with hymen that contained blood,"  Hermione recited from her calculations.

"What are you talking about?  You know how many from that?"  Pansy asked excitedly.

"Yes.  Yes!  I'm sure of it.  He'd have to kidnap at _least _thirty-five virgins to perform this spell."  Hermione said with satisfaction. 

Pansy was way ahead of Hermione and whipped out their list of virgins.  "Only twenty of us or so need to lose our virginity to sabotage any opportunity for him to do that spell."

"What about next year, Pansy, and year after that?  The third years will be fourteen in no time!  He'll have a new opportunity every year!"

Pansy wanted her reading back.

But Hermione wasn't done, she kept reading.  "Oh.  OH!  Pansy look… in order to break the wards here, he needs to find virgins that have a connection to the school.  He can't just pick anybody."

"That explains a lot,"  said Pansy quietly.  "I just thought he was trying to make a point.  You know, hurting the school by kidnapping it's students?  It would be both an insult to Professor Dumbledore and it would hurt the magical community.  It sends the message that no one's safe."  Her voice seemed dead.  They were more targets than ever.  "Okay, Hermione you had your turn, times up."  She yanked the book from Hermione's grasp and she seemed a bit hurt that Pansy would want to read anything different than what Voldemort was up to.

Pansy read quickly, not sharing the space that would permit Hermione to read along.  "Hey, Hermione. Maybe you don't have to give your virginity up after all…"

"What do you mean?"  Hermione asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Maybe we should fight fire with fire."  Pansy said seriously, eyeing her counterpart with a determined look.  Hermione glanced over her shoulder and read.

"Oh no, I hope we're not too late!"  exclaimed a frantic Hermione.  _Who had already fulfilled their pact?  _

**Authors Notes:**

I posted again quickly.  Soon my beta will return.  She has had computer troubles (and full time job et cetra...)  I promise to re-post corrections (hopefully they will be few). Many thanks to The Klingon Mistress who has been very helpful and supportive through this process.  Salut!

There are some gaps in the Harry Potter student body list probably due to the absence of the Sorting appearing in each and every book.  So my apologies if you may notice that several members of the Twenty who are, in actuality third year students graduating in 2001-- I have made them fourth year students to make them at least 14 for purposes of the fic. 

Eek!  I'm bad, I know, but I wanted names we all recognized and that would be more appealing than me making up 10 new characters instead of 4.  The four made up girls are Roberta, Linda, and the daughters of Rosier and Wilkes (Names which I thought would be recognizable from the books) all Slytherins.  Sally Ann perks is a brief mention without House affiliation so I gave her one based on the sound of her name (Loony Lovegood, and too Perky Ms. Perks. I like Rowling's name choices.  Sadly I don't have the knack for it.)  Orla Quirke is also a brief mention and has no house affiliation assigned to her… so again… I picked!  Isn't it fun?!  Thank you, Harry Potter Lexicon.

**And now, here is our list:  **

Hermione Granger- Gryffindor, 18 by time turner and Gryffindor Prefect

Ginny Weasley- Gryffindor, 15

Susan Bones- Hufflepuff, 16

Luna Lovegood- Ravenclaw, 15

Lisa Turpin- Ravenclaw Prefect, 17

Pansy Parkinson- Slytherin, 17

Millicent Bulstrode-Slytherin, 16

Daphne Greengrass- Slytherin, 16, and Slytherin prefect

Linda Wilkshire-Slytherin, 16

Roberta Yesenia Gonzales- Slytherin, 15

Natalie MacDonald- Gryffindor, 2001 age 15

Hannah Abbott- Hermione's year, Hufflepuff, 16

Sally Ann Perks- a Hufflepuff Prefect in Hermione's year, 16

Marietta Edgecombe- Ravenclaw, age 16

Orla Quirke- Ravenclaw, 2001 age 15 and a half

Felicia Rosier and Dora Wilkes 15 year-old Slytherins

Tracey Davis- 16, Slytherin

Emma Dobbs- 14 the youngest, 2001, in Hufflepuff

Laura Madley- Hufflepuff, class of 2001, age 14 and a half

The Prefects of all four houses are included.

Many thanks to you wonderful reviewers!!! Please still click below… in case you didn't notice, I do listen to you and make adjustments accordingly.  Grin!

Nocturnus:  I love the way you think.  I'm totally with you there.  I have friends who say the rosary and scripted prayers in certain circumstances, but I am sure most of Hermione's prayers to God are not scripted but written on her heart.  Sometimes she gets quiet to listen for God's wisdom, as is taught in many classes regarding prayer.  I think prayer is not merely asking for things or giving gratitude, but opening oneself to different possibilities and genuinely asking for guidance and not guidance from yourself.  Hence when she approached Sister Mary Barrone she receives the assigned Prayer of St. Thomas (I believe it was) which calls to her. And as for feelings about virginity— it's such a personal thing.  I think it's rare to see people who generally save themselves for marriage anymore, though I have had several friends who did.  I live in the conservative South, and still, I feel we are pretty liberal here.  In many ways the feelings about birth control, family planning and pre-marital sex aren't so openly discussed in many Catholic Churches here, particularly when you are receiving premarital counseling and waiting for the blessing of the priest.  I even work in a Catholic Hospital.  But what can I say?  I am a liberal social worker; I can't edit what I tell my new parents just because of the institutional values, it conflicts too much with my ethics as a social worker… but I digress.  Far more important to Hermione (than to stay chaste until marriage) is to be sure of her convictions and stay true to herself.  Very Gryffindor.

SimplyScribbling-  Oh yeah, but still stalled on Burden.  In the club you'll see, no room for us or them, it's all for one and one for all.  All or none.  You'll see in the next chapter.  And the dye just had to be washed off and charmed off.  I haven't decided if or when Snape will hear of it.  See I promise you wouldn't have to wait!  As for Hermione's flip-flopping there is still a lusty, crushy teenage girl in there with adult feelings she can't quite accept.  She wrote a poem about it, but couldn't really quite take it in.  Ah, sweet denial.

Javen Green-  Woo hoo, now posting for your reading pleasure!

Expected Aberrance-  Thanks for the review!  Keep reading!  And no way would they let the profs know. NEVER.

Romm-  She kind of kicked it around in her mind, but see Chapter Thirteen.  It will address how Hermione handles that issue.

Azulkan2-  Ah with the Crucio… tis the life of a DE.  Poor Snape.  Gotta love the sacrifice.

Althea Gray-  Haha! I was laughing so hard at your joke about McGonagall.

Maxy-  Thanks and I'm not telling.  Possible are you kidding.  I'm all about SS/HG.

Crissy-  Cool!  I hope I can keep tension up in the group[ as it evolves.  I'm really the kind of person who'd say, "Can't we all just get along?"

Keket Amunet-  Thank you.  And while Hermione doesn't seem out of character now, I really tried to use her trip to Hogsmeade to show some of her more sensible nature and maturity emerging.  She may slowly feel more and more like she doesn't fit in.  Remember she's 18, most of her peers are 2 years younger than she and even when she was young she sounded like McGonagall.

Ezmerelda-  Thank you for your observations.  Snape had a lot of inner turmoil: Yay!  There aren't many virgins to choose from, bloody hell Voldemort's going to kill me, and crap!  Why are their so few virgins?  Has the whole school lost their mind?

Rosmerta-  I don't think he'd terribly old-fashioned per se, but he's pretty much believed that he teaches a bunch of dunderheads who wouldn't know responsibility if it bit them in the ass.  He fights in a war where he feels all of the children take their freedom for granted and still behave as if the sky isn't falling.  He may also be a little jealous that he hadn't been more careless in his youth.  Poor Snape lost his innocent and naïve nature at a young age, exposed to too many horrors and an unhappy childhood to live in a fantasy.  And here is more on the ROR, I may delve into it a bit more also… we'll see.

Tycho-  We shall see.  I'm dying to blab everything of course but you'll have to wait!  Yeah, I like them kind of working against each other.


	13. The Rumor Mill

Disclaimer:  All Harry Potter Characters still belong to her majesty, J.K. Rowling.  I bow deeply and request one more time to borrow Severus Snape permanently.  She says, "No."

**Chapter Thirteen:  The Rumor Mill**

"Maybe we should fight fire with fire."  Pansy said seriously, eyeing her counterpart with a determined look..  Hermione glanced over her shoulder and read.

"Oh no, I hope we're not too late!"  Hermione said aloud.  _Who had fulfilled their pact?  _

They charmed their clasps and immediately flew from the room to retrieve their associates.

Running down the halls they searched the normal make-out points ready to rescue their sisters from an unwanted fate.  Pansy turned to Hermione and said,  "I passed several people in the hall, but Luna and Marietta say that Lisa's gone from the dorm."

"Oh no!  She's been dating Terry Boot for a year!"  Hermione's eyes darted around aimlessly as if searching her mind for a fact.  _Where would she go?_

Ginny ran back out of the Common Room in Harry's Invisibility Cloak, "Need this?" she said and slipped Hermione the concealed parchment while Pansy looked down another Hall.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,"  she whispered.  Quickly scanning the crowded parchment, Lisa Turpin's name appeared in a third floor closet.  Miniscule and nearly intertwined with Lisa's name, was squeezed 'Terry Boot' in the tiny space provided.

"Mischief managed!"  Hermione whispered louder and stuffed the Marauder's Map in her pocket running down the hall with Ginny as she did. 

Pansy followed with her warning, "Filch is coming!"

They ran up the steps after casting silencing charms on their feet.  They covered themselves as best they could with the cloak, attempting to reduce the chances of their being seen, but the result was just a view of three half-people floating up the stairs.  The ran out of breath down the hall and knocked loudly on the door.  Ginny and Pansy thought quickly and crouched under the cloak, while Hermione played her Prefect duty to the hilt.

After the loud rapping from Hermione, she could her a jumble of knocks and yelps from two very startled people.  She cracked open the door and she saw the swish of a cloak cover the naked pair.  A humiliated, frustrated Terry looked disgraced, breathless, and embarrassed.  Lisa was stunned beyond organized thought.  Hermione felt just awful about the interruption.  She had no way of knowing whether or not they had entered uncharted waters or not.

"Lisa, I thought you should know that Professor Flitwick knows you are both out of bed and is looking for you.  You are a Prefect and I don't want you to get into trouble for something so obviously private.  I'll look the other way while you go down to the dorms, but I suggest you go one at a time."  She looked at Lisa with hidden meaning.

They nodded and thankfully Terry Boot said nothing.  Hermione shut the door and waited for them to exit.  There was a bustle of the sounds of rapid dressing and _'ow's'_ and _'I'm sorrys' _ whispered.  Terry ran down the hall first and Lisa lagged behind, leaning against the door jam.

"I'm so sorry, Lisa. I really am,"  Hermione said honestly.  If Hermione had been in the one making the decision to lose her virginity to a boy she'd been serious a bout for a year she would've nearly killed someone for the interruption.

Lisa was absolutely beside herself with frustration, annoyance and hurt.  "This better be good."  She followed them to the Room of Requirement, more angry still knowing that Pansy and Ginny had witnessed the whole thing from underneath the cloak.

_Thank God everyone is here_, Hermione thought as she and Pansy counted the people present.  _Twenty._

"Thank you for coming so quickly.  I know it's late and we don't want anyone in trouble for breaking curfew.  But we have more news."  Hermione opened nervously.

"First off," Pansy addressed the group.  "Has anyone had sex yet or otherwise broken their hymen?"

Nervous shakes of heads, and girls looked around at each other.  Pansy did not believe them.  "We won't be upset, but we need to know _for sure_."  She glared at Lisa.

"No," an agitated Lisa said through gritted teeth.

"Good, because we have a plan."  Hermione spoke up.  "This," she lifted up her half of the book and Pansy did hers as well, "is the book called the Power of the Innocent.  And this book is going to save us and this entire school."  Pansy rolled her eyes as Hermione's overly dramatic speech.

"We don't have a lot of time to explain since time is short, but we have confirmed that the Dark Lord will likely use a spell which requires no less than 35 virgins to participate for it to work.  There is a counter spell— well, actually it works all by itself, to erect extremely powerful wards.  All of us must save our selves to accomplish that however.  So nobody shags anybody until we meet tomorrow to discuss it, yeah?"  Pansy was not asking, she was issuing an order.  Most all of the girls looked incredibly relieved.

"Let's meet tomorrow, here five o'clock before dinner.  Agreed?" 

"No, we have Quidditch practice,"  Ginny said.

"Alright then, anyone else have a suggestion?  Tuesday night?  Five o'clock before dinner?"  Nods from everyone who stood already to leave for the dorms.  _Thank God no DA or Quidditch practice._

There was hurried murmuring amongst the girls as they left in twos and threes.  They snuck back to the common room, receiving a nasty scowl from the portrait.  With the buzz about the sexual activities of young witches and wizards amongst student and portraits alike, she wondered if the Fat Lady thought her to be studying or merely promiscuous.  Ginny hid underneath the cloak and snuck in the Common Room behind Natalie and Hermione.  Natalie raised an eyebrow that begged the question.  "Later," Hermione mouthed looking around at the portrait spies in the Gryffin-dorm.  She changed for bed into her pajamas, and looked over at Natalie.  Natalie roomed with her so Hermione gestured for her to sneak over and duck under the covers of her bed to whisper a few things out of earshot of anyone.  They knelt on each side of Hermione's bed, Crookshanks resentful that he was being displaced by his mistress's violent disruption of the warm covers he had been sleeping on for thirty minutes.  Throwing the covers over head, Hermione whispered a 'lumos' and found a small cramped place to speak.  Hermione was transported back to slumber parties she had when she was ten.  Except there was a wand and no flashlight now.

"What's it all about?"  Natalie asked.

"It's a long story," Hermione said in hushed tones.  "But we can do it.  We just have to wait for the right time, and strike before You-Know-Who does."

"It sounds insane."

"No more than the alternative."

As Hermione's mind raced, she wondered if she would be able to let three hours of sleep find her before class tomorrow.  __

She slipped under her covers, falling asleep more quickly than she thought, and dreamed of the door to the Room of Requirement, wondering if she had needed— would it provide a willing Severus?  Her whole body writhed in response to that yearning, and she woke up frustrated.  The bushy-haired woman looked around her dorm room at her hopeless cat and three girls dressing for their day.  _No Severus_.  She groaned and left for her turn in the bathroom, staying longer than was necessary to dress and shower.  She couldn't leave the dorms in that state.

-----------------------

Tuesday morning Hermione wondered how she would let Anthony down gently.  He had, after all, been so nice to her.  She could tell, it just wouldn't work out regardless of current circumstances. 

As usual the Great Hall was bustle of activity, students getting ready for class, Ron with an enormous mouthful of food while he told the story once more, of how Harry caught the Snitch while being a lazy broom potato.  Pansy was sitting by Draco and they were chatting somewhat amicably, but with the goons listening in, so that couldn't be a good sign.  There wouldn't be much time after breakfast and Hermione wasn't one to procrastinate.  In fact, she thought she probably couldn't think about anything else during classes today if she didn't take care of the matter on her mind.

When she scanned the Ravenclaw group for signs of him, Anthony's eyes met hers briefly and she did not see kindness there.  There was feverish whispering around their table.  Hermione caught her name spoken in harsh undertones and deduced they were talking about her.  Lisa tried to catch her attention, but Hermione ignored her and continued on to the middle of the table.

"Anthony?  Could I talk with you for a second?"  He sharply rose from the table and followed her outside while several pairs of eyes followed them and snickered.

Once out on the steps he started.  "Hermione, we have to talk."

"I agree."  Hermione politely said but was interrupted.

"I can't go out with you," Anthony said bluntly, and this startled Hermione.  What made _her_ un-dateable?_  He was interested._

"I beg your pardon?"  She asked, a bit confused.

"People are talking everywhere.  They say we slept together and asked me why I would date such a… whore."  He seemed a bit angry at the revelation and he said it as tactfully as he could under the circumstances.  Hermione's jaw dropped in shock.

"Anthony Goldstein!  You are a Ravenclaw!  How could you believe such utter rubbish?!"  Hermione hissed, really seething now.  The rumor mill had finally reached a new level.

"Everyone's talking…"

"I don't care about _everyone_!  _You," _she pointed into his chest with a sharp finger_, "_should have checked this out with _me,_ or at least stood up for me!  My history is not anyone's business.  But you just bought into that load of hogwash hook, line, and sinker!  One sexual encounter does not make me a whore!  Who said it?  Hmmm? If no one but you will say it to my face — you who received this information second, third or _fortieth hand_,  then I want my say!"  Hermione had completely forgotten about not being suitable as a pair and was in a rage. She slammed her hand down on the concrete wall and winced in pain. 

Anthony was shocked at her reaction and immediately apologized,  "I'm sorry, Hermione. I overreacted.  With the Bellflower thing and all…"

"It wasn't just me who signed that bloody petition! So— is every girl in Hogwarts a slut because we all signed it?  How would you like it if everyone wrote your name up on the wall for everyone to see parading around your virginity or lack thereof?!"

"I didn't think about it like that, Hermione."  She was through huffing, finally registering the bewildered and remorseful look in his eye. "I am sorry.  I really am.  People are so nosy."

"I guess it really didn't help if anyone saw us during our little picnic,"  Hermione mentioned, quieting down.  "I'm sorry I yelled at you.  Anyone would be upset.  It just pisses me off how people can blow things out of proportion, you know?"  He nodded.  "Anthony, I did enjoy last weekend and I think we have a lot in common, you're easy to talk to, but I just have a lot on my plate right now.  I don't think it would be fair to you if I kept seeing you.  I mean, I was angry at _why_ you broke up with me, but relieved too.  Understand?"

"Yeah."  But only barely.

"Now who has been saying what about me?"  After she kept pressing him, he reluctantly gave up a few names and she marched off into the Great Hall, Anthony in tow, for a face off.  Pansy watched in horror, having heard the rumors herself, hoping that Hermione wouldn't wreck a decent lie she considered to be a good thing.

She sat in Anthony's spot and rallied the other students who crowded around to listen.  They were eager to hear more juicy gossip and were unprepared for her lecture. 

"Now listen up!  It is completely rude, unfair, cruel and a total lie to spread malicious gossip about your classmates about something you know nothing about."

"But you..." Michael started.

"How do you know Michael?  Because were you there?!  No, you _weren't_, and neither was the person who told you, I suspect.  This school has gone completely mad.  I am sick and tired of hearing about people from persons who aren't directly related to the topic at hand.  Look around you.  How many stories have you told today about people you call your friends?  This kind of thing, I might add, is none of your bloody business.  In three short weeks, I have gone from Bellflower revolt, to love interest to whore!  That is not fair.  It's not fair to me and it wasn't fair to Anthony.  And if I hear one more person tell me some horrible thing about Susan Bones, I will hex that person into next week."   She heard some muttered apologies especially from Michael.

"That's not good enough,"  Hermione said.  "What you really need to do, is un-tell who you told and apologize to the persons whose reputations you have damaged.  All of us are responsible for rumors, not just one.  So don't believe everything you hear."  She got up and left a silent crowd.  Then she leaned her head back.  "Just so that you won't hear it through the grapevine, Anthony and I have decided to just be friends."  Hermione turned on her heel and left, while other students were left to deduce what happened. 

She filled in Harry, Ginny, and Ron who had passed the shame for gossiping down the table at other guilty students.  Ginny shook her head, wondering if that was such a good idea.  The teachers looked on from the staff table knowing something significant had happened.

-------------------

Professor Lupin had heard some of the rumors and was sufficiently concerned about Hermione that he decided to pull her aside before class.  "Hermione?  May I have a word please?"

"Yes, Professor?"  Hermione followed him in to a nearby alcove.

"I've been really concerned about you lately, and some of the things I've heard don't sound very encouraging.  Is there anything that you need to talk about?"  The scraggly brown haired professor looked at Hermione with authentic interest for her well-being and Hermione sighed relief at him reaching out.

_Thank God for you.  At least you seem to be genuinely concerned._  "Remus, it's just rumors that's all.  Kids can be horrible you know?  I mean it all started with the Bellflower crap and since when did I become promiscuous?"

"Is that what they're saying?"  He asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"Yes, and then right after that we had the big 'sex ed' meeting and now I can't walk down the hall without Professor McGonagall or Madame Pomfrey giving me disappointed looks."  She let out and indignant huff.  "I mean, _honestly_.  Do they really believe everything they hear?  What have you heard?"

"I heard some things about you and Anthony Goldstein, then saw the scene this morning at breakfast and thought you could use an ear."

The words were pouring out. He could have been Ginny.  She had been ready to explode before and she just let everything off her chest.  "We went out for a picnic.  A picnic! It's not against the law, but with the previous rumors added to our date— our _first_ and I might add, _last_ date which happened not two days ago… the word on the street is that now— I'm a slut." 

Remus' was beginning to look a bit peeved.  He was the first teacher she had spoken to.  Not many students would talk about such things.  "No you're not, Hermione.  And I am sorry that has been your experience amongst the students, and from the staff.  Keep your chin up.  Hold your head high." Hermione smiled weakly.  "Things will die down and they'll be talking about something different.  You can always come to me, Hermione.  Even if it's just to vent. Okay?"

Hermione nodded, knowing that he meant it.  Truly though, she had a new group of friends to confide in now.  She likely wouldn't return to Remus again for this topic, but it was reassuring to know at least one teacher hadn't lost their damn mind.  He turned to leave and she touched him on the arm,  "Remus,  thanks for talking with me."  He turned to face her and she looked him in the eye to repeat it.  "Thanks."  He smiled at her and left.

Snape hadn't missed the last of the exchange and only briefly wondered what had happened to merit such an encounter.  He wasn't accustomed to hearing students call their Professors by their first names, but then Remus was almost like family to the Trio, certainly to Harry, and he had spent a good deal of time at 12 Grimmauld Place doing work for the Order, as well as keep an eye on Harry and Hermione.

The day was boring, his classes taught with his usual rigid nature, the lessons subtly changed over the years but not offering Snape any particular satisfaction.  At least the study with Miss Granger was going well.  Last night she had identified 20 possibilities for substitutions in Veritaserum, erring on the larger side to be cautious in not excluding a potential candidate.  She had suggested eliminating one at a time, until Snape had paired up like roots and compounds.  That would significantly reduce time in testing and offer comparison data from relatively similar samples.  It was a significant amount of work for the semester.  Hermione had seemed a bit too ambitious with her goals of finding a  replacement by Christmas.  Leave it to a Gryffindor to assume that anything was possible.   He of course dragged her back to the world of reality by telling her science never works that quickly and that it may take a year or longer to find out their project was a wash.

He grumbled his way to the staff meeting where Remus was giving a piece of his mind to Minerva.  Snape overheard the middle of his reproving tones from the door and waited.

"She notices your condemning looks, Minerva.  She is one of,  if not the best student Hogwarts has."

"I know that Remus,"  the Head of Gryffindor said tersely.

"Then how could you consider her to be the pride of Gryffindor one day, and the school bicycle the next?!"

Minerva stood straight up, fists tightly clenched, and blushed an angry red at that unwarranted comment.  "I did not _say_ that!"

"Maybe not Minerva, but the students are and it is untrue.  The rumors here have reached new highs.  Of all people she expected judgment from, Hermione did not expect it would be you."  Minerva sat a bit defeated, and swallowed a bit of guilt.  She would definitely make some changes in her outward behavior.  Minerva had been disappointed— and hurt also.  Professor McGonagall had seen too many bright young girls throw their talents to waste over a boy and an unplanned pregnancy.  Learning of Miss Granger's status only inflamed her strict values.  Minerva had her own regrets; she didn't like to see the mistakes repeated in her students.

Remus turned to face Professor Snape whose face also showed a bit of guilt despite the comments not being aimed at him.  "And some clear potion is only indicative of her not being a virgin, not the frequency of her sexual encounters." 

"Stop assuming that everyone here is judging Miss Granger, Lupin.  I have no interest in the girl, her business is her own,"  Snape said coldly.

The meeting was uncomfortable and the topic wasn't brought up again.

When Snape adjourned to his quarters however, he recognized that he had judged her.  He knew that any sexual distractions or preoccupation could only hurt the focused mind of such an exceptional student.  Hermione was clearly as sharp as ever, so he was concerned for no reason.  It had bothered him however, to see her with the Ravenclaw boy.  Romance was such a waste of time.

When he was in school, he had kissed a girl behind a greenhouse and everyone knew by lunch.  He was made fun of, and she ridiculed for wanting to have anything to with 'the greasy git.'  Florence hadn't been a serious prospect.  It had been a new interest, but she was nice to a fault, and smart.  It could've gone somewhere… but who was he kidding?  The young brainy boy with the heart of a fool sold himself out for power once he graduated, trading in his underdog robes for a painful tattoo and a life of regret. 

Though at the time it had seemed a trade up from all the mockery, mistreatment and teasing from his peers— truly in swearing service to the Dark Lord, he lived to be mocked and ridiculed by Him and fellow members, groveling at Voldemort's feet and praying to Merlin, Allah, Gaia or whoever else might be listening that he would be passed over for punishment each meeting.  It was a devilish game of cat and mouse, making his head hurt to think of the manipulation involved.  Snape cursed himself when the mindset had become second nature to him.  It took years to undo the damage it had caused in twisting his sense of reality.  He had become paranoid, suspicious of everything and everyone. 

To a degree he considered that guarded nature to be useful, cautious, and even insightful.  But now it was only a source of pain and alienation as he had been unable to trust anyone for years.   Snape even tried to convince himself that he preferred to be alone.  Perhaps he just didn't want students for company.  It was odd that he found employment in the one place that had caused him almost as much pain as his childhood, surrounding himself in the walls of the castle that held so many bitter memories or torment at the hands of the Marauders.  Snape didn't exactly make it easy for people to like him, but from a young age his father had convinced him that there wasn't anything _to_ like.  Now that he had his Death Eater years behind (and in front of him), he still believed that his worthlessness was mostly true with the rare exception of any valuable information he fed the Order and the occasional ray of light he saw in a student's eye when they had that special something, the 'aha!' the 'eureka' when they understood…the leap forward into new understanding.  In those moments he felt valued, worth existing.  It was secret joy he permitted himself, hiding it to conceal his true self— part of his playing the spy, albeit a bit too far. Yet another reflection of his distrust of others.

So he took some advice from the old fool Dumbledore and looked to find the things he could count on in small ways every day.  The sun rose every morning and set every evening.  Filch was never far behind Mrs. Norris.  Minerva could not, would not— drink tea without lemon.  Dumbledore nearly always offered lemon drops when he came to his office.  And then there were people.  Madam Pomfrey would always get on is case about is health whenever she saw him in the hall.  And there _she_ was.  _Seven-oh-one…_

Hermione Granger walked in as usual, apologizing for her tardiness.  Honestly, he didn't care.  It was one bloody minute.  But he could count on Hermione to always be punctual.  He could set his watch to her.  Ever since she apologized the first time for being _one second_ late to class, he had secretly needled her for it.  So, he had to keep up appearances… "Five points from Gryffindor for your lateness, Miss Granger."  He smiled to himself.

He could also count on her to be prepared.  Everywhere she went, she carried a small tome of notes and all of her textbooks, or so it appeared.  Maybe half the library.  She was very thorough.  In addition, over the years she had become less annoying.  It was easy to converse with her when he wasn't interrupting to wear his snarky professorial hat.  After an hour of working together they slipped easily into the language of research and boundaries of professor/student were forgotten.  They were both in new territory now, both thrilled at the prospect of a new discovery, though Miss Granger tended to wear her enthusiasm on her sleeve.  Her personal notes of the various texts she had absorbed were well beyond a summary of what she had read, but rather her speculations of previous works led and what, even far-fetched conclusions could be inferred.  She had an incredibly open mind, superbly suited for research.

"That will not work. Miss Granger."  He said simply.  End of discussion.  Moving on…

"Why not?  It balances, it offsets the acids in the tam…"

"No.  The ginger and eye of newt work against it…" He began to argue his point.

"We can leave out the ginger and substitute…"  Hermione's head was already whirling with the possibilities.

"Leave out the ginger?!  Then you are left either with grey goo or something akin to a sleeping drought that would turn any man into Rip Van Winkle."  His tone was one of a derive laugh and a hiss.  Snape felt they had wasted too much time on this line of thinking.

"Will you consider nothing?  You won't even allow me to finish a thought,"  Hermione huffed rather freely.  "I am not brainstorming aloud whatever ridiculous notions come into my head but am trying to explore what would happen if we substituted the active chemical ingredients of ginger for the real thing thus removing the obstacle of the reaction with the hellebore.  Do you think that's possible?"

Snape thought about it a moment.  He had been about to lecture her for talking back, but he had to acknowledge she was on to something.  Of course, this wasn't a new technique.  He had done it many times before, but most potions masters didn't do it and to hear Granger throwing those ideas around so casually kind of put him off.  That was his thing, and she had been the one to bring it up.  They bantered some more and he conceded the point.  Looking at is watch he understood why they were so snappish.  It was nearly past midnight.  He moved to adjourn them and as Hermione was putting the books away, her eye caught the figure of a mushroom paperweight he had on his desk and she immediately turned her bag inside out, fumbling for parchment and her quill.

There was the glimmer, the light, the '_Aha_!'.  She was scribbling furiously, muttering to herself.  Snape enjoyed the moment allowing her the space and solitude necessary to work her idea out.  He had these moments too, but it was more gripping still to watch her mind unfold.  Trust a Gryffindor Know-It-All to give him back a little trust and someone he could count on.

-------------

"Now that we're actually going to have an ongoing club we should elect a leader,"  Lisa proposed.  Pansy and Hermione looked at each other and the shouting matches began. 

"I vote for Pansy!"  Roberta yelled over Susan's nomination of Hermione.  There was more shouting back and forth between various members, getting pretty ugly.

Ginny whistled through her fingers as loudly as she could, bringing the loud clamor of voices to silence.

"Pansy and I started this together.  I don't want to lead this by myself."  Hermione admitted.  It was overwhelming enough, but she had to agree the group wouldn't lead itself.

"Me neither,"  Pansy echoed her sentiments, following Hermione's lead.  The Gryffindors and Ravenclaws likely wouldn't follow Pansy and the Slytherins wouldn't follow Hermione just yet.

"I'd rather we co-lead, but I want us just to be facilitators.  We may help to discuss things and so on, but I'm not going to decide anything for you.  Each one of us is our own person.  There will be no pressure from any one of us," she looked around the room, "…for any girl to sacrifice their virginity for this spell.  This is _voluntary_, and if at _any time_ you change your mind just say so, and we'll either abort this whole thing and get shagged, or find a replacement.  There will be _no_ guilt doled out here.  None.  Agreed?"  The group nodded.

"I know we are asking a lot,"  Pansy added.  "That's why this has to be voluntary.  Kendra and Melanie didn't have a choice.  We're not going to demand the same from you.  The spell requires voluntary participants so you have to be _sure_."    The girls nodded in agreement.

Lisa spoke up, "I nominate Pansy and Hermione as co-leaders."

"I second," said Roberta, Luna and Ginny together.

"All in favor?"  Pansy asked.

"Aye."  Was the unanimous vote.

"All opposed?  Abstentions?  Seeing none, motion carries…"  Pansy said formally and everyone laughed.

"We need a name like we did for the DA,"  Marietta offered.

"Any suggestions?"  Hermione prompted.

"How about the Flowergirls?"  Linda offered.  Everyone laughed.

"No… how about something we could say in the hall that no one would raise an eyebrow at?"  Orla said.

"How about SOS?"  Ginny suggested.

"SOS?  What does that stand for Weasley— Students Obsessed with Sex?"  Millicent jabbed.  That earned more laughs.

"No.  Save Our Selves.  That's what we're doing right?"

The murmuring stopped and the members quickly agreed.  Ginny Weasley was responsible for naming the DA and SOS.  She was extremely quick.

"The next time we meet we'll describe the overview of the spell and break this down into parts.  It's very complicated, but I'm sure we can master it with a bit of planning,"  Hermione explained.  Being the know-it-all, it really seemed a bit to prim of her to describe things in this way, but she could imagine Pansy giving the same guidance.  They each had their strengths.  It made Hermione feel a bit awkward to lead this way, but she supposed she'd get used to it.

------------------

Hermione sat at her windowsill late at night after their meeting.  She was excited about the new plan and relieved that she wouldn't have to lose her virginity right away.  Though, if she saw one of the Death Eaters anywhere near her she was sure she'd take care of things in short order to prevent becoming a pawn. 

She sat and wondered on the spell, the incantations… They would take all semester to learn, if that was enough time.  There were pages and pages of relevant text and spells that would complement the larger ward building magic.  Even reading as little as she did there was the potential for all of them to harness  incredibly powerful magic.  At that thought, she felt a ripple of fear spread through her.  Surely as they had the capability to build the wards of Hogwarts, they had the ability to blow everyone to kingdom come.   Even Pansy had been rightfully worried.  If even one of them was not a virgin, if not all of them were entirely honest, if even _one_ of their number did not try to resist their innermost desires and give in freely to carnal passions…  Hermione shuddered.  It would be the end of everything. 

Off in the distance against the black canopy of night,  stars and moonlight illuminated a small white bird, her feathers glistening in the evening's blessing.   She soared toward the window, visiting once again the delicate creature who required her presence for peace. 

_He came again_, she thought.  _He knows_.  Hermione found a strength and encouragement with the dove's visit, and rededicated herself to find a way through this.  She stroked the bird who surprisingly permitted her attentions and knelt to pray.  When her prayer had concluded, Hermione had one firm thought embedded in her heart…

_They had to train. _

At the end of the long, dark, abandoned hall, Pansy sat at the windowsill again with the book, reading over and over again the issues surrounding the complicated spell.  The one thought running through her mind was, _"This will never work."  _She read and reread, seeing the faces of the unlikely members of their group, recalling the stories they had shared with each other as to why they would want to participate in such a group. 

Pansy always had the perception that the other houses were sheltered, and that her Slytherin companions were really the only ones to suffer so horribly in their families.  She had her beliefs utterly shattered by the group.  She had been surprised that the two youngest Slytherins really had the most Gryffindor reasons for being there.  Their parents weren't Death Eaters, they had never been threatened and had no family losses.  She envied them_.  Why on earth had they wanted to participate in the group?_  _For Melanie and Kendra._  That's it.  That's all.  For their peers.  A Gryffindor sentiment really, so why on earth had the sorting hat placed those two in Slytherin?

Because they were embarking on a mission of great import, she and Hermione had agreed to meet in advance of the next meeting to coordinate a list of to dos.  They had a lot to learn and little time to do it.  Pansy agreed that it was a waste of their time and a waste of the talents of their group to do everything themselves without delegating.  The next meeting would set a schedule of events, assign spells for learning in groups and prioritize the protective spells they could capitalize on while they waited for the spell to be perfected.  So many rare potions were produced from virgins blood, particularly healing potions, Hermione was determined to study the secret of blood collection and put it to good use.  Hermione brought index cards so that each girl could write down their personal strengths and weaknesses, what their interests were, and what advanced spells they could perform.

Despite their decision to continue the club, they had still not heard a peep from any other girl in the school nor from any boy, Prefect or staff member.  That was the only sign that their secret remained safe.  It was probably for sheer fear of kidnapping or death that no one told.  Ginny and Hermione weren't tempted at all to tell Harry or Ron.  The one confession would cause an avalanche of lectures, cursing, and dragging them before Dumbledore and the Order.  Telling Snape… that would be worse.  Even if he were supportive and agreed to keep their secret, the knowledge of what they were doing would put him in an impossible position.

Pansy had divulged her concerns to Hermione that Lupin might be a dark wizard, or possibly that Snape was working as a spy for Lord Voldemort.  But Hermione convinced her that Snape wasn't stupid.  _'Who on earth would be foolish enough to spy on You-Know-Who right under his nose?  And just because Professor Lupin went outside to meet Snape, they could've been talking about the weather for goodness sake_,' she'd said.  His Death Eater garb consisted of a basic black cloak, and he wasn't wearing anything else that would tip anyone off.  It was possible that Lupin didn't even know Snape was a Death Eater.   Pansy was convinced that Snape wasn't a spy.  It was stupid in ludicrous proportions.  Of course Hermione didn't point out that what SOS was doing could also be considered ludicrous, stupid, and dangerous…_ ah, well._

"So you'll list the protective spells and divvy them up amongst Luna, Lisa and yourself.  Daphne is a pretty good as far as planning goes and she can make a list of what we need to do and locate the space we need to perform the spell.  Each of the remaining girls will take a section of the spells involved and memorize a section.  Then we can choose what portions to use.  We can't use _all _of them.  Hermione, this is where I get really nervous…"  Pansy summarized

"Yeah I know.  I've never had to memorize anything this complex before."  Hermione admitted.

"And we have to say each spell at precisely the same time.  All twenty of us. "  Pansy said nervously.

"Hey, wait a second…"  Hermione said with excitement in her voice.

"What?"

"We _have_ memorized something this complicated before…"  She hinted, and giving Pansy a knowing look.  Pansy didn't bite though, her thoughts were fixated on the magical world.  "The Requiem, Pansy!  What about the Messiah?  We learned all of the music and had the tune to help us remember it.  I never learned the words as well as when they had beats assigned to them."

"So we could say the incantation in a rhythm…"  Pansy rolled the idea around in her mind.

"But it can't repeat so much otherwise we'll forget where we are in the incantation… we need to figure this out together."  Hermione and Pansy had talked briefly, and had arguments about the group, and sang together in a duet, but they both worried that spending the length of time required to come up with a score of this magnitude might push their relationship too far.

Pansy agreed and they decided to meet three days a week until the score could be written.  They would look at other books and musical works for a good steady chant, avoiding tones which would put the group to sleep.  Pansy would work on diction and pronunciation— her Latin was the best of the group.  They needed this sheet music, so to speak, as soon as possible to help them to memorize the incantation.

Hermione and Pansy worked busily until the next meeting.  Hermione made a list of the most important potions they should brew, captivated by their potential to make use of such rare magic.  She and Pansy prioritized the spells which needed to be rehearsed, memorized and performed and listed under what conditions they needed to happen.  The spell had multiple effects  Anything could go wrong.  They planned to make use of as many of the positive effects as they could.  This was their virginity after all— they were going to make it count.

Tuesday night late, they worked past 10:30pm.  Hermione was at the piano, both sorting through music trying to find the right tempo.  Over Pansy's left shoulder, Hermione spied the foe glass on the bookshelf at the last possible moment and immediately played a different melody, concentrating hard on their props and singing,

"Laudamus te.  Benedicimus te.  Adoramus te…" 

Before Pansy could object to her abrupt change of music, Snape walked in the door.  "Pansy you missed your entrance…  Professor Snape?  Are you looking for one of us?"  Hermione asked, putting on a surprised look.

Snape stood there with a scowl, arms crossed in front of him in disbelief.  Pansy turned to look at him and then glanced at her own music which suddenly captioned the heading _'Laudamus Te, Antonio Vivaldi.'_

"Don't tell me you don't know that you are out past curfew, Miss Granger, Miss Parkinson— because it should be abundantly obvious to you." 

What was really obvious to them is that Snape found them in the Room of Requirement because he _needed _to find them.  He paced and opened the door and there they were.  _How were they going to fix that little snag? It could happen again in any of their meetings. _

"What may I ask, are you doing?"  He asked silkily through lips which were bound to deduct points for mere breathing after curfew. 

"Practicing, sir.  For a concert near Christmas Break," Pansy orchestrated.  _It could happen._  Hermione looked up and didn't bat an eyelash. 

"The _entire_ staff is looking for you.  Surely you both understand why it might be prudent for you to obey school rules.  You, Miss Parkinson have already been stripped of your Prefect duties, however, Miss Granger—_you_ still have an example to set."

"Yes, sir.  I'm sorry.  We lost track of time."  Seeing the book at her feet Hermione scooted her foot so that it disappeared inside her bookbag behind the piano.  Thank God, she had both halves.  Pansy nodded.  They weren't expecting his challenge.

"Well let's see what time has produced shall we?"  He pressed in irritation.  Snape waved his arm to motion for them to carry on with their rehearsal.

Hermione took a nervous breath and began to play, worried it would be a little like rubbing her tummy and patting her head at the same time.  She didn't like singing in front of people she knew, particularly him.  Certainly not playing and singing at the same time.  At times she let the accompaniment fall away so she could concentrate on the soprano line while Pansy echoed her with her alto phrases.  At least _Laudamus__ Te_ had been sung to death and both knew it well, though never before singing it together.

Pansy and Hermione surprised each other by blending well, at least that had been believable.  Hermione wasn't happy with her vowels.

"You're still flat on measure forty three, Hermione," said Pansy interrupting their duet halfway through the piece. Then she turned to face Snape.  "It's not really ready yet, Professor."  Pansy was acting this out well, and had insulted Hermione in the process, keeping in her usual character.  She could be correct. Pansy had excellent pitch and it left the impression this was a work in progress.  A desperate alibi, but the most plausible one that could bring these two girls together. 

What would they have said otherwise?  _'Sorry, sir.  Please don't kidnap us and take us to You-Know-Who— we're busy trying to find another way to sacrifice ourselves.  By the way,  could you help us brew a few potions for our club?'_

Snape made a sour face and conceded the round.  He didn't looked moved.  "Twenty points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger and a detention for you Miss Parkinson.  Choir practice is over."  Snape's tone was cold.

Hermione cursed inwardly all the way back to the common room, escorted by none other than a surly Snape. He was silent the whole way. Of course, Pansy was trusted to walk back to Slytherin dorms alone.  She got detention, no embarrassing loss of house points.  Detentions may have caused a student to use a little elbow grease cleaning cauldrons or writing twelve feet on uses of bicorn horn, but they did not affect the outcome of the House Cup.  At least it hadn't been McGonagall who found her.  She would've deducted fifty points.  But if McGonagall had found them she could have showed her that she wasn't out getting laid. 

Her head of house was waiting to retrieve her at the Common Room door, dressed in her crimson quilted night robe and slippers, showing everyone how inconvenienced she was by Miss Granger's blunder.  "Miss Granger, what in Merlin's name are you doing out at this hour?"  She looked sterner than usual and shook with anger.  It seemed a bit over the top for breaking curfew, but there were other circumstances to consider.

"Minerva, if I may, she was practicing for an upcoming concert with Pansy Parkinson on the fifth floor."  Snape said.  He didn't really know why he was making excuses for Hermione Granger of all people, he so loved to see a student squirm. However he remembered what Lupin had said to her before the staff meeting, and suspected McGonagall thought the worst.  Correcting that misassumption was a way of getting the old witch back for giving him so much hell about his Bellflower assignment.

Minerva looked relieved, and changed her expression slightly.  "Thank you for seeing her back safely.  Come with me, Miss Granger."

Snape left and Hermione followed her in to the Gryffindor Common Room.  Seeing Hermione enter, students scattered, knowing she had been caught.  Fellow classmates were jumping to their own conclusions.  Hermione thought the rumor mill was about to start up again.  Ginny caught her eye and winced an apologetic look her way, retreating up the stairs last.

"Have a seat, Hermione."  Minerva took a deep breath and sighed.  She sat close beside her, and Hermione saw the fear in her experienced eyes.

"What is it Professor McGonagall?  You don't look like curfew is the only thing bothering you." 

"I might as well tell you, you'll find out soon enough. But please be discreet until an announcement is made.  Melanie Lawson was found on the steps of Hogwarts one hour ago."

Hermione gasped and covered her mouth with her hands.  "Is she… alright?"

"She is recovering in the infirmary and no visitors are permitted.  It appears she will recover, though I doubt 'alright' is an adequate description.  Professor Snape must go an find her parents to notify them, but he had to wait until we found you and Pansy."  Hermione was struck by the statement.  The guilt was punishment enough for her actions.  "Miss Granger, you off all people should know your limits.  These are dangerous times.  You organized an entire revolt.  Think bigger, Miss Granger, and do not let me catch you out of bed after curfew again or it will be your badge."  McGonagall's voice was hollow and empty.  Hermione couldn't tell whether or not it was an empty threat.  Actually, McGonagall didn't make empty threats, she was just too distraught by the return of a 14-year-old student to worry about a careless Gryffindor at the moment.

Hermione was left stunned on the couch. She didn't speak but thought about Melanie.  _Think big indeed.  Was McGonagall in for a surprise_.  She and Pansy were going to have to figure out a new schedule.  Professors were going to notice if twenty girls went missing no matter what time of day it was, she'd wager.

Professor Snape took his time to return to the infirmary.  Severus wasn't in any hurry to see her father, knowing that it was he who had placed his daughter in Voldemort's clutches in the first place.  If it were his daughter, he would have disappeared with her or brought Harry to finish the bloody bastard off before handing over his offspring.  Snape didn't care how faithful the servants got in carrying out the whims of a sadistic madman, he could not fathom how the fathers would sacrifice their own family for the Dark Lord.  Melanie was an only child.  Snape was actually afraid he might cast an Unforgivable or two if he set foot inside Dick Lawson's estate in Manchester.  He needed more time to cool off.

He had found her of course, on the steps.  He was sure the intent was for Dumbledore to find her, but as always it was Professor Snape who saw firsthand the cruel remains of a Death Eaters work.  She had begged.

"Pleeease, Professor Snape.  Pleease don't make me go back home.  I'll stay here.  I can finish the school year…  Don't make me see my father…"

It was the first thing she said to him as he scooped her fragile body in his arms.  She seemed to shrink in his grasp, weighing a fraction of what she used to.  The Death Eaters of course, needing her alive to perform what experiments they could, would not deliberately mistreat her, but she had refused to eat.  That was the only way an enslaved girl like Melanie could maintain any control during her captivity.  He found himself at a loss, not being able to find any words to comfort her.  Anything Snape said could place him in danger, for anything could be repeated.  Eventually he had dodged the question to buy time.

"You need to see Madame Pomfrey.  You need rest."  He remained cold, detached.  A cold hearted bastard.  After this evening, knocking back the Ogden's wouldn't be enough.  It would probably either be an all night rage of throwing every breakable object he owned or the bottom of Dreamless Sleeping potion.  Mixed with firewhisky though, he might be likely to miss his first class, so an all-nighter it was.

He found it incredible that he had refrained from hexing Granger and Parkinson to dust, but the outrageous contrast ranging from seeing a broken girl to a content duo of singing angels was a bit too shocking to his system.  _Not a care.  Lost track of time._  _They had felt safe, within these walls.   _Walls in which he once felt a student could not be harmed under Dumbledore's watchful eye.  He had been wrong.  Lupin had already suggested that Voldemort might be trying to bring down the wards of Hogwarts and the very thought seemed absurd to him.  After Dumbledore had spoken to Melanie and returned, Snape hadn't been so sure.

He scar burned anew, only his calling was keeping him from the Lawson's.  Perhaps he would finally get answers.  Snape took a moment to clear his head, release all emotion and anger before facing the formidable power of Voldemort.  He could see through strong feeling and take those weak men apart piece by piece.  Snape would only travel collected.

Madame Pomfrey was examining the girl and it didn't take Snape any time at all to deduce what had happened.  Poppy was beside herself with anger and worry.  Her virginity had been taken surgically, but still against her will.  Despite potions, Imperious curse and sedation, the blood they collected was useless.  And Snape had told Dumbledore that after the last meeting the Dark Lord was giving up for another tactic.  But Voldemort still hadn't discussed it with him.

-----------

Snape sat in his usual chair in front of the Headmaster. 

"Severus?"  Dumbledore inquired.  "What news?"  Dumbledore's face was long, not with their usual hopeful spark.  Melanie had only been recently returned and there was still no news of Kendra.

"Well, he has at least abandoned the virgin sacrifice for the moment."  Snape said through pursed lips and sighed.

"That's good news.  Isn't it Severus?" He said, puzzled by the disturbing look on Snape's face.

"I suppose.  He asked me to brew a specific potion…"

"What for?"  Tonight Dumbledore was a man of few words.

"I can only speculate, Headmaster."

"And what is it specific to?" 

"It is called the Haustum Vigor.  It is used on occasion to anoint dark objects with magic which will help them penetrate powerful magic and things.  _Haustum__ Vigor_ literally means to 'absorb energy'.  In essence it sucks magic from the surrounding people and imbues the object with the combined force of it, making it stronger and able to pierce a hole in… I don't know… dragon skin…armor?  Shields?  Hogwarts?"  Snape's sarcastic and bitter performance revealed his disgust at the thought.  His talents were being used again to destroy the school and their students.  _His students._

"So Remus was correct."  Dumbledore removed his spectacles and rubbed his eyebrows.

"It would seem so."  Snape poured himself a whisky and passed a double to the Headmaster.

----------------

The very interesting and crucial part of the spell was the need for desire.  The more Hermione read about it, the more it made her uneasy.  The spell used the magic of the virgins by forcing them to face their own desires, tempting them with the carnal pleasures of someone they fixated their attentions on.  It had to be strong, deliberate, and specific.  There was no half-way.  Virgins had powerful innocence about them not only because they had no experience with sex, but because they _refused_ it.  The struggle to overcome temptation was where their strength lied, the purity of spirit, the force of will to remain chaste.  Hermione had approached Lisa about that and she confessed that she had convinced Terry to do something that night neither of them were ready for.  Looking back on the interruption, they had both been relieved.

Millicent Bulstrode carved out her own role in the group quickly.  She was just crude enough and daring enough to say the things that most embarrassed the group.  She had no shame and therefore she was dubbed Millie, Mistress of Desire.  Mad Millie.  She was crazy and sat with each girl hounding them until they chose an object.  Each girl had to focus her sexual energies and desires on a single person at the time of casting so that she could confront her strongest temptations in that one moment.  It was Millie's job to be the taskmaster on this.  One day, she arrived 30 minutes ahead of time to make sure the room was filled with objects, graphic literature and pornography to shock the younger girls into action.  Many of them had postponed choosing a person due to recent breakup or lack of suitable dating material et cetera.  After that Millie began to play matchmaker.  When she approached Pansy and Hermione however, she was met with resistance.  _They didn't need her help thank you very much._  They had their own problems and they were not up for discussion.  The other girls were so caught-up in their own personal work of locating someone that no one bothered to ask Millicent.  They assumed she had taken care of it.

Ginny's relationship with Harry was progressing quickly and had to put things on the back burner after one night in particular where their necking almost got out of hand.  She ran to Hermione's room, shook her awake and demanded to go to the Room of Requirement.  When they open the door, the room was full of assorted chastity belts and books on contraception. 

"Hermione, I swear I am totally committed to this thing, but I don't know how much more desire I can cultivate before I go mad!  Something is happening to me— did the book say anything about your desires growing or anything?"

"No, I don't think so.  I can check it out."  Hermione retrieved the book from her bag and flipped through to the wall of desire.  Pansy had loaned Hermione her half as well to review.

Ginny continued, "It's my Owls year Hermione, and it's like I couldn't care less.  All I can think about is Harry and bugger all, Millicent… and her little tips and everything.  Can't she give me something to keep this in control?"

Hermione didn't figure it out until she went to bed that night.  They had been practicing various phrases as a group for weeks.  Chanting aloud.  She quickly pulled out her translation and looked at the words:  "Create desire in my loins like a flame… My body refuses each calling to the light…  Surging within me threatens my hold… Both certain and pure, I keep my control…"  _God, just reading that gives me hot flashes._  These were the words intended to be spoken at the time of the spell, but it seemed the effects of it were taking effect already.  The spell had already begun.   '_Can't she give me something to keep this in control?,' _Ginny had said.

Truth be told, Hermione was feeling something like that too, to a lesser degree of course.  Ginny got to fulfill every fantasy with Harry.  They got to have a public relationship.  Ginny had her affection returned to her.  Hermione had Professor Snape.  He wasn't always pleasant, called her Miss Granger, assigned homework and detention.  Didn't appear to care one whit about her.  He had always called her an annoying Miss-Know-It-All.  Yet, she couldn't stop dreaming about him. 

Her eyes half closed, Hermione daydreamed while appearing to look at her text while she waited the exact twenty three minutes required for her potion to brew.  Occasionally she would steal a peek at him through her thick eyelashes, even as her hands pressed flat on the tops of her thighs where they met at the hip— a suggestive gesture if only to her.  She watched as his long fingers rubbed a heavy cream into the pores of a stone cauldron to create a barrier between the cauldron and a future potion.  Due to it's porous nature, Hermione noted that this cauldron may likely be used only once.  Many charms could be used for the same purpose as the cream, though she knew Snape was too methodical, particular and obsessive about his brewing.  His ministrations seemed quite intimate, so intent on the thoroughness of his efforts.  _Could he be as passionate about anything as much as potion making?_

Hermione stopped immediately when she realized her breathing had changed and flushed with embarrassment biting her lip in the vain effort to suppress the blush.  Nervously she picked up her wand to stir the potion before it was necessary, needing to do something with her hands.  It went up in a cloud of smelly yellow smoke, ruined, earning her a disapproving look from Professor Snape.  _If she couldn't even brew this simple potion, would he even let her stay in the evening project?_

She had been caught the next week for not paying attention.  Her hands were doodling again, playing with nervous phrases that haunted her during the summer… _I hate to love him_… and she abruptly scratched it out beyond legibility.  Pulling out her transfiguration homework, she tried to make it appear that she had been doing McGonagall's assignment in his class. 

Snape peered over her book and scowled at the discovery.   "Detention, Miss Granger.  Tonight seven o'clock."  It was a close call, yet it was amusing that he assigned detention at the same time as their evening study.  _Maybe it was a slap on the wrist._  He looked at her papers and she had already scribbled out her ambiagram.  No mistaking the unmistakable signature for a doodle.  She wasn't so sure she hadn't wanted him to recognize it.  It was best that she had blacked it out.  She fantasized about divulging her identity as calligrapher, but didn't.  He still hadn't talked about his work.  No word from the publisher.  She had checked at Flourish and Blotts for new books.  There was no news.

Hogsmeade weekends were routine.  There had been three now and Hermione looked absent, not really enjoying the break.  She was preoccupied with preparation for the incantation, and found that counting the female students was all that mattered.  Just to be sure, half of SOS didn't come each Hogsmeade weekend, that way there were fewer eligible candidates for Voldemort's plan available in case of  kidnapping.  That in fact, was what Dumbledore feared.  That his students would be taken when they left grounds.  No one talked about what some the female students suspected.  It went unspoken.   All of the Prefects knew they were watching out for their female peers.  All of the staff made sure that they knew.  After the third Hogsmeade weekend all of the SOS members decided they had enough of Hogsmeade until the spell was performed, especially since Melanie had been discarded in a heap in Hogwarts front yard.

Seeing Melanie gave the members of SOS a new determination to see this to the end.  Melanie had returned to her classes and thankfully didn't remember much of her ordeal.  She found an enormous support system in Slytherin.  Her Slytherin sisters didn't know whether to suspect she had been obliviated or merely was trying to block out painful memories.  They flanked her on the way to classes, ensuring that no one would bother her.  She was unaware of the clandestine support from other students who grieved with her over the loss of almost two months of school.

Though Melanie didn't realize it at the time, she was always flanked by two or three members of SOS.  Slytherin girls or not, their presence at her side began to make her suspicious that something was up so she finally confronted Luna. 

"What is with the escort?!"  Melanie barked.

"What are you talking about?"  Luna asked innocently, not able to lie well enough to save her life.

"I am fine!  The last three days the same people keep hovering around me on the way to classes.  What is with that?"  They were not out of earshot of other students and it was making the other girls nervous.  Luna and Roberta disappeared with her into a closet and cast silencing charms and wards for good measure.  Melanie was not expecting that, not at all comfortable with the confined surroundings.

"Melanie, listen.  We just don't want anything else to happen.  Boys are stupid you know, thick?  After what you've gone through I don't want anyone to think they can take advantage you know?"  Roberta explained.

Luna started in, not looking at Roberta.  "We need to talk to you about what happened.  It's important.  Can we trust you to keep a big secret?"  Roberta glowered at Luna like she had just committed a felony.

Melanie wasn't quite sure they were on the same topic anymore, but nodded.

"Not here,"  Luna said. 

"Are you crazy?"  Roberta said in a hoarse whisper.  Roberta shoved her hard.

"That was unnecessary, Roberta."  She rubbed her arm, accustomed to dealing with rudeness, though she knew this wasn't about her.  She had nearly betrayed the pact of the SOS by telling a non-member.  "Melanie, meet us in one hour on the fifth floor across from the troll painting.  Will you?"

Melanie nodded.  One way or another she wanted to find out what was up.

Luna and Roberta went to find Pansy and Hermione, and both disagreed on whether or not to include her in SOS.  They were yelling at each other in the Room of Requirement while Luna and Roberta waited in the hall.  The door didn't permit sound to escape, but their demeanor upon entering told the pair that the co-leaders were not about to discuss this over a cup of tea.

"I can't believe you won't even consider it!"  Hermione yelled.  "She's in your own house for God's sake!"

"Hermione she's not even a virgin anymore, she's 14, and the daughter of a Death Eater!"  Pansy shouted back.

Hermione huffed in exasperation.  Now Pansy was arguing just to argue.

"News flash, Pansy.  Nearly _half_ of our members are children of Death Eaters.  Don't you think that Melanie— above all people, has a vested interest in our group's goal?  At least for sake of revenge…  As far as I'm concerned she's our _first_ silent member!"  Pansy eyes told Hermione that she could unload hexes any moment.  Hermione made her next statement quieter.  "It would at least be helpful to know _what _happened to her.  Maybe she overheard something, anything, that would help us know when or if You-Know-Who has other plans."

After several minutes the pair emerged and retrieved Melanie from the hall.

Hermione thought hard before they entered, imagining the most comfortable circumstances for Melanie.  Melanie had never been in the Room of Requirement before—in the dimly lit room, she was surprised to see her own bed, stuffed animals, along with a pair of comfortable couches, hot cocoa sitting for them on the adjacent table. Pansy and Hermione sat near her, Pansy closest and began to explain.  She started by telling her own story of how her father was planning to offer her.

Melanie's face was steely at first and then the brave front failed her and she began to cry.  She was a young girl, shy, innocent.  Too young to comprehend what was happening to her at the time.  "At least your father told you," she whispered into her shoulder.  Pansy and Hermione were undone, outraged and determined as ever to make sure SOS did not fail.

"I went to sleep in June and woke up in a white room.  There were no pictures, nothing.  Everything was so…sterile.  Food was slipped under the door, but I didn't eat it.  I had slept so hard the previous night, I figured I'd been poisoned.  Th-then this big guy, McNair I think his name is, came in and tried to cut me with a knife. He didn't try to hold me down or talk to me, he just expected me to take it.  He was really shocked when I started to fight with him, and then he stunned me.  He looked at the food on the floor and cursed because I hadn't touched it.  I'm sure they didn't mean for me to feel a thing, or at least not care that they were there.

"Next time he came back I just remember feeling so light… but wrong.  I remember thinking I didn't want to cooperate but couldn't make my brain tell my body to fight back.  I just laid there."  Melanie covered her eyes with trembling fingers and sobbed as she told the rest of her story.  "There were examinations… to make sure I was still a virgin.  I didn't even know why I was there until they started looking!  God it was terrifying.  I thought they were going to… but then they…"  She sniffed and Hermione handed her a tissue.  Pansy placed a comforting hand on her back so she could continue.  They said nothing.

For three months they had poked and prodded, drew blood and watched her.  The Death Eaters tied her arms and legs to the bed so that she couldn't hurt herself.  She refused most meals and lost 20 pounds.  Melanie almost smiled at the thought that she had gotten the best of them.  She took longer than usual to recover in the hospital wing due to her malnutrition.  With help from the safe walls of Hogwarts and her friends, she was gaining weight.  Dumbledore had agreed to keep her for the Christmas holidays and to hide her if her parents came for her.  Pansy and Hermione were relieved.  Any parent could pick their underage child up from school at any time.

Melanie described probing with a wand and odd metal devices to see inside her most private places.  She looked absolutely white as she spoke in a detached sort of way about how Bellatrix Lestrange surgically removed her entire hymen, along with some of the lining of her vaginal wall, with a scalpel.  At least it was a woman, but that was only little comfort.   All Melanie remembered is that they forced her to drink a potion and hit her with the Imperius curse.  It sickened her that during the procedure she felt both horrified at the intrusion while at the same time happy about it.  Melanie could almost not even stomach most spells which before the ordeal had been second nature to her.  She quickly joined the DA and missed the first meeting, too nervous in front of the group.  Later on, she had asked for private lessons with Harry to get her confidence up.

Melanie remembered at lot about her experience and  related as much as she could.  "What was it for?  I know they wanted my blood, and I know they needed it soon, but couldn't take it from me against my will…"

"Did they say anything else?"  Hermione interrupted Pansy.  She didn't want to reveal anything just yet about what they knew.

"I heard some man talking with You-Know-You, I mean… he…it— sounded like a snake really.  He kept saying something about getting it ready by December.  I nearly died thinking he would keep me there that long…"

"December…"  Pansy said aloud, not realizing she had.

"I'm so sorry, Melanie.  But I'm here to tell you… we are not about to let anything happen like that again."  Pansy and Hermione told her everything.  Melanie sat motionless, exhausted beyond ability to sleep.

"They may be giving up."

"What?  W-what do you mean _giving up_?"  Pansy stammered.

"I heard a man cursing about now enough blood or not enough something… the list wasn't long enough.  Something like that, I couldn't hear all of it."

Hermione and Pansy nearly leapt for joy.  Then Melanie continued.

"But You-Know-Who said he was working on another way…"

Great, now Hermione and Pansy didn't know what he was up to. 

They looked at each other and Pansy said first, "This doesn't change anything.  We're still doing it."  Hermione's gaze met hers and found her resolve strengthen as well. 

"Doing what?"  Melanie asked.

_No fucking way was Voldemort coming through those gates._

They brought her up to speed, the twenty first member, the silent member of the group.  Maybe Melanie couldn't cast the spell, but she could sure as hell help them to prepare.  She wanted to do anything, as much as she could to get her father back and make sure Voldemort could never use the information he had extracted from hurting her.  Melanie would be eyes and ears.  She would plot and plan and listen closely for any clues from fellow classmates about what was coming up in December.

---------

Voldemort was extremely angry that he had failed to extract useful blood from the girl.  She had not been a voluntary participant.  She was weak, malleable— fell easily under Imperio, but the use of an Unforgivable had corrupted the results.

The Dark Lord was running out of options and now only had a long shot left.  He called one of his faithful servants, one who still had connections despite controversy.  Lucius Malfoy was slipperier than an eel and had more lives than a cat.  It would become common knowledge soon that he would stay out of Azkaban, and his money brought more respect than his behavior did dishonor.  The name of Malfoy was gold in the Ministry.  Literally— gold.  He wondered what would happen to the poor fool if the Malfoy estate ever ran out of money.  Of course Lucius' business dealings were entirely too shady to be accurately known.  Lucius had money and power.  They fed off of each other in a loop.  Malfoy had an endless stream of funds.  He would not be destroyed so easily by the ineffective wheels of government.

"My Lord, you wished to see me?"  Lucius bowed low and always talked too much and spoke too eloquently to please Voldemort.  Malfoy's useless arrogance was wasted on him— but it was the follow through that counted and ever since his summer failure, Lucius was _dying _to make it up to him.

"Yes.  Our original plan has failed.  Therefore we must change our tactics, my servant.  What I ask of you is for only _you_ to do.  You must go to Hogwarts."

"Don't you think Severus would be a better choice?  He is already there, Master…"

"Lucius, you needn't concern yourself with Severus …" His voice hissed a cold, low, deadly threat.  Dementors weren't the only creatures who could extinguish starlight and heat with a breath.  Malfoy shuddered.  He should not have interrupted, but punishment never came.  "I need for you to procure a rare item.  It is held at the Ministry of Magic.  I, fortunately have a contact there and that responsibility won't fall to you."  Lucius remained quiet in the silence that followed.  A wise move.

"It is crucial that you do not share this plan with Severus.  He would be placed in too difficult of a position at the school as it is."  Voldemort commanded.

"He is growing soft, my Lord."  Lucius' eyes remained downcast.  The gaze of his Master saw through him as if he were transparent film, and frequently was too much to bear.

"Sso ssure are you?"  He inquired.  "Do, go on."  Lucius had to be careful.  Severus was a trusted servant, despite his proximity to Dumbledore.

"He would prefer that we leave the children out of it.  They are his students. He has formed… _attachments_."

"And do you think that the father's of Kendra and Melanie have not?  They bring them forward because they are obedient to me, not because they have no feeling for them.  Surely, you would offer Draco, when the time comes.   Severus is obedient as well— he will do what is asked of him… _and so will you_."  Lucius had no problem with Draco being initiated, but Lucius could not imagine what the loss of a daughter would to do him.

"Yes, my Lord."  And he knelt again, for good measure.  He had no idea what the Dark Lord would ask of Snape, and their relationship of late was tenuous at best.  But Lucius knew what was good for him and that was to do as he was told.

"For now you will arrange a meeting with the Headmaster of Hogwarts…"

-------------

**Author's Notes:**

I am searching my memory, but I think that Bellatrix was one of the Death Eaters that escaped the MOM at the end of Book  Five, correct me if I'm wrong.  I think I wrote her in earlier as being punished by Voldemort for her failure.  Well, the twenty has been formed, now known at SOS, making numerous little meetings to plan the execution of the spell to save Hogwarts.  Hermione is about to feel the pressure and responsibility of nineteen girls on her shoulders, as well as try to keep a few secrets of her own.

Hope-  Thank you for your review.  I love it that you do calligraphy.  I can't believe you make your own ink!  How cool.  Hope you like the continuation of the fic.

Lyress-  Thanks, I'm flattered.   And yeah, I was disappointed too.  I wished it had followed the book more closely.  Snape had way more parts than he got, and why wasn't he levitated out of the Whomping willow?  Why was there no talk of him being PO'd at being passed over for an order of Merlin… hmmm??  Ugh.

Maxy-  No. the professors are not dumb, but girls are clever.  Just because of your previous review I decided to put in the bit about Snape walking in.  It could happen, and as it will probably stand in the next book, everyone will know about the DA from who blabbed and therefore more people will know about the Room of Requirement.

Rosmerta-  Oops.  No reveal yet.  However, I couldn't ever see Hermione sinking so low.  She's to honorable to use anyone.  And there will be more angst.  Poor Hermione is a lone girl out of twenty.  She and Pansy will have their own personal demons to slay.  Ginny's juts battling with her own desire to keep her mitts off Harry until … I can't say anymore.  Next chapter I promise.

Esmerelda-  They're not too late!  Thank God for procrastination.  Here's the update, just one or two chapters away from Showtime!

Micheliene-  Thank you!  And was the rec on Wiktt or by another reviewer?  Always curious.

Franflutewitch-  Thanks, and now the twenty are officially plotting.  More details on the spell and set up next chapter.

Cinnamon-  Thank you so much for your lengthy review.  I am always flattered the most when people take their time to read a fic all the way through.  I have spent many an evening reading one fic into the night.  I am trying to keep Hermione and Pansy in character but they are both changing throughout the fic.  Hermione is growing up quickly and she is finding she feels she doesn't fit in so much anymore.  And the Slytherin girls are about to get some retribution.  Cliché I know, but payback is a bitch.  Or… twenty bitches.

wackoramaco87-  Drastic is all relative.  Having sex would've been simpler by comparison.  And probably safer.  But hey it's not just a job, it's an adventure… and the girls of SOS are about to go be all they can be.

moomndustrach-  Thanks!  Keep reading through!!!  And another long chapter.  It was longer but I yanked part of it off and stuck it onto chapter fourteen.  And I do care.  Thanks for your review.  And I support what another author said.  If you don't review… it's like stealing!  Please review and be honest.  I'm not made of glass… let 'er rip!  Compliments or curses is okay by me.

crissy-  Oh yeah.  You betcha.  T-minus two chapters and counting.  And even then, only halfway through.

KarySky-  Thank you, thank you.  And don't die, you won't finish the fic!


	14. Desire Leads to Suffering

**Disclaimer:**  All in the Harry Potter world belongs to Rowling.

**Chapter Fourteen:**  **Desire Leads to Suffering**

--------------

It was nearing October and Hermione was feeling the weight of the Yule Ball pressing on her.  Every prefect's meeting they were asking about it. 

"What is it going to be this year?" 

She stalled as best she could, but set herself up for failure with the "It's a surprise," stall.  Now the Gryffindor Prefect had to 'wow' them.

"It's not like you to procrastinate, 'Mione."  Ron said.  "Really, you can tell me… I'm your best friend.  What's it going to be?"  Ron looked up hopefully, looking tall but more youthful when he did that.

"_Educational,_ Ron… now stop pestering me." 

Ron stood back wide-mouthed when she left his side, muttering after her, "She can't mean that.  She can't… I have a date and everything."

Having postponed long enough, Hermione marched toward Dumbledore's office to meet with him about the Ball when she unexpectedly crossed paths with none other than Lucius Malfoy, con-artist extraordinaire, the slippery political animal who greased the wheels of justice to suit him.  Even named as a Death Eater the previous year, he was still successfully avoiding prosecution, miraculously remaining on the school's governing board.  Hermione wanted to believe that his 'continued service' to the school was owed in some small part to Dumbledore wanting to keep an eye on the bastard, but that was wishful thinking.  The man glowed in the dark, Dumbledore hardly had to keep him on the school board to watch him and— like Umbridge's appointment, Dumbledore probably did not have a choice in the matter.  The name of Malfoy was hard to miss, the Order had eyes throughout the ministry and at least one member in the Death Eaters that Hermione knew of.  Hermione strained personally to extend a cold hand of tightly restrained tolerance his way. 

"Mr. Malfoy, a surprise to see you here,"  Hermione said with blank expression.

"Miss Granger? Is it not?"  Lucius breathed in with a look as if he had smelled something foul.  "I do hope you have recovered from your _injuries_ last May…"

"Thank you for your concern, sir.  But I will feel so much better once those who were detained last spring have been prosecuted, don't you?"  She hadn't wanted to go there, but he was making veiled threats already.

"You filthy…"  Lucius spat toward the girl he knew only as Mudblood and an obstacle in the way of his son's education.

"Good day, Mister Malfoy," was Dumbledore's cold but calm dismissal from the topmost stair.  Even his quietest statements could appear a bellow. The elder wizard radiated power with his mere presence.  Dark wizards may have called him an old fool, an idealist, a crazy man— but he was feared and for good reason.  "Miss Granger.  Come with me please."

She ascended the stairs and immediately forgot why she came to see him.  It was something about Christmas, but she was stumped at Lucius Malfoy daring to come inside these halls.

"May I ask what Lucius Malfoy was doing here?"  Hermione asked, spitting the name of Malfoy across her lips as a curse.

"Since you are on the Yule Ball Committee, indeed I believe _you_ are the committee, am I right?"  She chuckled uncomfortably and nodded.  "Then I should say that the school board is looking closely at the school's _extracurricular_ activities.  Hogsmeade weekends, Christmas holidays, and the Yule Ball will be monitored by representatives during those functions.  I have suspended all future Hogsmeade weekends… for an excuse I haven't made up yet," he said over his spectacles with a knowing twinkle.  Dumbledore was playing the game well and he was trying to keep contact with Malfoy to a minimum.  "However, Mr. Malfoy will be present at the Christmas dance, as a… guest."

_A guest, Malfoy Senior at our school dance as a guest_.  Hermione was unable to speak for a moment.  She blanked out and could not remember why she was there.

"I'll make sure everything goes smoothly, Professor."  Her voice was hollow and Dumbledore was somewhat distant in his thoughts as well.

"I'm sure you will, Hermione.  If you don't mind, I have some things to address.  We can talk again soon?"  She nodded absently and left.

 -------------

Daphne rushed up to Pansy after class and whispered to her.  Pansy clapped a hand over her mouth and then charmed her cloak pin.  Hermione met them minutes later, safely tuck in the secret wards of the Room of Requirement.

"What is it?  Is everything okay?"  Hermione was already thinking the worst.  Someone succumbed to desire and lost their virginity.

"Tell us, Daphne."  Pansy said.

Daphne Greenwood  took a deep breath.  "All this time I've been looking for a place big enough for us to cast.  But I now know where we should do it.  And when."  She looked nervous. Something told Pansy and Hermione they weren't going to like this.

"Okay.  Shoot."  Hermione urged.

"The place that's big enough is the Great Hall,"  Daphne began as Pansy snorted.  "And we should do the spell,"  Daphne continued, "during the Yule Ball."

"Holy crap!  You're serious!"  Pansy exclaimed.  It was absurd.

"Why then?"  Hermione asked, taking her seriously.

"One of the benefits of the spell is that it offers lasting protection to all who stand within it.  All of us are worried you-Know-Who will attack Hogwarts.  This way all the students can be protected.  We can make attendance mandatory,"  Daphne suggested.

"For the whole school?  It's only fourth years and up!"  Pansy said.  Good point.

"What else?"  Hermione asked her to go on.

"The Great Hall has doors and it's a controlled environment.  It'll be easier for us to hear each other and signal, and gives us a reason to all be in the same place at the same time.   In addition I believe we are using a spell of blessing?"  Pansy and Hermione nodded.  "The people we bless will be there.  Everything fits.  I've been reading and when we cast there will be a vacuum of magic in the circle, that way no one can stop us.  If everyone in the school is in the circle then we're free to complete the incantation without interruption."

"Plus when the wards raise we can travel through them for a short time.  It'll be safer to appear straight inside the castle's walls instead of the open spaces of being on grounds,"  Hermione thought aloud.

"Really?  Why would we need to do that?"  Daphne asked, a little puzzled.

"Yeah, Hermione, why would we need to do that?"  Pansy needled.  She had been keeping something from her. 

Hermione looked down.  "Daphne, thanks for your suggestion.  I think you're right.  Good work.  I know you've been racking your brain and this is so difficult.  We should meet soon to discuss it.  I need to meet with Pansy though okay?"  She nodded and left.  Trust enough had been establish to permitted the private plotting of the co-leaders.  It looked anyway like Pansy was going to explode.

"I just read it last night and was going to talk to you."  Hermione confessed.

"Just read _what_?"  Pansy said coldly.

"We have to leave Hogwarts immediately following the spell."

"What?!  You're crazy!  We can't leave, it's dangerous out there!  It's safe here."  Pansy was yelling and lecturing.

"It won't be once we raise the wards.  I have a feeling Lucius Malfoy is going to try to bring them down some other way.  Professor Dumbledore told me he is coming to the Yule Ball in his position on the school governor's board."  Pansy had the good sense to look horrified.  "It's a school dance, Pansy— not a hearing for the Wizengamot.  Malfoy coming to something so ordinary cannot be good.  He got off and assumed his post like nothing happened.  We need to disappear because I read… here."  Hermione pointed to the offending passage and laid the book out for Pansy to read.

"Wards can be broken in the first period by killing all of the casters…oh shit."  _That's bad,_ Pansy thought but plausible.  She sighed and rubbed her face.  "What are we going to do?  We have two and half months to prepare!  Where are we going to stay?  Anyone could find us."

"I have part of that figured out already, but you're going to need to trust me."  Pansy raised an eyebrow.  "We need twenty untraceable portkeys."

"Sure, no problem," Pansy said with thick sarcasm. _Granger had lost her mind._  "And how are we going to do that?  Portkeys are controlled items and that's no easy spell."  Pansy asked in a non-chalant way.

"Luna."  Hermione answered.

------------

Severus Snape was a man who preferred his solitude, but he wasn't a complete hermit.  Despite his idiosyncrasies, he did not avoid interactions with the other staff.  In fact, one could say that Snape was exceptionally shrewd when dealing with people.  He was salty and abrupt, even rude, and while he deliberately appeared to go out of his way to misunderstand or be unfair, it was mostly an act.  Snape was an excellent judge of character though he didn't always reveal his impressions.  At least he had good instincts when it came to people who didn't relate personally in some way to him.

Recently he had noticed in his own House, that there was a surprising amount of camaraderie amongst the girls— with Pansy and Millicent of all people the ringleaders of the group.  They rallied around Melanie after her return and Snape couldn't help but feel a bit of pride seeing these students come together in a way most unlike Slytherin house.  Of course Slytherin protected their own, but they were a suspicious lot and usually only did things unless there was something in it for them.  Even if some students were sugar and spice, the surrounding classmates quickly taught them the meaning of politics.  No one crossed Malfoy, Crabbe or Goyle.  Marcus Flint had been the previous tyrant and it had taken quite a lot of energy from Professor Snape to keep him in check.  It was a relief to have him gone, Draco was far easier to manage through intimidation, and Crabbe and Goyle were bullies without the sense of a niffler.

His students looked really surprised when he walked in the girls' dorm.  It was dinnertime and a surprising number of them were missing.  Despite the changes in Voldemort's plans it was disconcerting to see so many gone, including Melanie.  They were seated cross-legged on the floor clapping and snapping their fingers.  Through the dormitory door, he heard a lot of laughing, some chanting too…

_"Hey little thing let me like your candle cause… I sure hard to handle, yes I am…" _More giggling and clapping.

"No, no, no… that's not it," Linda laughed, "the words aren't even right!" tears streaming down her face.  They clapped in time again and gasped at his intrusion.  They looked caught, but Snape thought they merely looked surprised to see him in their dorm.  The last time he came it was to notify a student of their parent's death.  It was no wonder they weren't happy to see him.

"I'm glad to see all of you are enjoying yourselves," he said with a crooked smile, attempting to lift their somber expressions.  "But others are expecting you at dinner."  Many of girls flushed with relief at the revelation.

Pansy spoke up first.  "We're sorry, we just got caught up with a game."  She beamed, and Snape had never recollected seeing her show a happy smile like that unless she was up to something.  The girls followed him out of the dorm and it looked amusing to the Headmaster to see Snape herding eight female students into the hall.  Hermione tried to hide any expression of interest at seeing nearly half of SOS enter the Great Hall together.  She felt her clasp warm and knew she'd be meeting Pansy later.  A sly wink from Millicent reassured her that everything was fine.

They met briefly after dinner for Latin practice.  Each member practiced every word for pronunciation and timing.  After the failure of the complex beats of the classical greats, Hermione and Pansy settled on a commonly known song from Muggle pop culture to help them practice.  The clapping exercise was something they could do in other places besides the Room of Requirement.  It left the other students with the impression that they were just laughing and having a good time.  The funny tune helped lighten the mood as well, as a number of girls were becoming very preoccupied with the thought of leaving school, missing their families for Christmas, and the inherent danger in casting in front of such a large audience.  Hermione and Pansy had already met individually with several girls to ease fears and discuss their romantic prospects, which were progressing quite rapidly for many.

It was after group that Pansy finally decided to ask Millicent the big question.  "So who is it?"

"What?"  She played.

"You know, the _object of your affection_,"  Pansy drawled out playfully, her eyes bulging out.

"I am not telling."

"You.  Of all people_, Millie, Mistress_ of Desire, _you_ should be talking.  Do you at least have someone _in mind_, or are you pulling our leg?"  Pansy teased.

The tough girl act dropped and left a long face.  Millicent sighed in resignation.  "Yeah.  But he'll never consider going out with me."

"Have you even asked?  He might…"  Millie shook her head.  "What?  Who is it?"  No answer.  "Come on.  Who?"

"You'll laugh."  She crossed her arms defensively and looked away.

"I won't, I swear."  Pansy put on her straightest face, not believing Millicent could string her along and then not tell her.

"No, I can't tell you."  She blushed, then put her irritated mask back in place.

"OK, _fine_.  At least tell _him_, you sorry excuse for a Slytherin.  We always get our man.  Show him how it's done.  You might be surprised."  Pansy was now the Mistress of Matchmaking and it was killing her to know who.  "I double dare you to ask him out to the Ball."

"He's probably already going with someone."

"Do you know that?"  A blank look.  "Thought not."  Pansy walked away taunting her with cowardly clucking noises.

--------------------

Luna Lovegood was brilliant with a wand.  She was teaching the girls in the DA and SOS to swish and flick like she did.  Some of the spells in the book were wildly complex and the one that had interested Hermione the most was the Wall of Desire.  There was a complicated wand spinning on the palm of the hand and then the incantation.  Hermione cold never quite get it.  Luna was Professor Flitwick's prize student, always performing way ahead of her classmates.  She stayed after many classes to obtain pointers from him.

Luna demonstrated time and time again.  It was like a Harlem Globetrotter trying to teach a child to dribble.  Luna had it, others did not.  Hermione watched again as Luna spun the handle of her wand on the palm of her hand, caught it and did a zigzag.  After two weeks, Hermione and Pansy finally had the spin thing down.  After that all they could do was drop their wands.  Once they could spin and catch their wands, they were so shocked after they completed the movement, they forgot entirely the incantation.  It was pure frustration.  Hermione was determined, sure that the spell would eventually come in handy. 

After nearly a hundred attempts back to back, wrist aching, she muttered the spell, wand pointed at her abdomen.  "Make my desires a shield from my enemies…"  She didn't feel any different.  Of course, she hadn't needed to use the spell yet. 

"What does it say?"  Pansy asked, as Hermione read from the book again.  Pansy was exhausted from her own attempts, but glad somebody finally succeeded.

"All I have to do is say this phrase, and whoever's attentions are unwanted hit the '_wall of desire'_ or whatever and can't come near me.  Hmmm, I don't even need my wand for that.  Wonder why?" 

Pansy gave up.  _What a load of crap._

The next day, Hermione figured out why the wall of desire was developed.  She and all of the other girls were receiving numerous propositions from boys in the school.  It wasn't flattering.  It was too excessive for any one of them to consider it a complement.  Their incessant practicing of the desire spell was increasing their attractiveness to others and their own desires for anything that moved.  It was a pheromone meltdown of ridiculous proportions.   They had to settle for sitting in groups at lunch and in class just to keep their attention on their studies.  Hermione set up mandatory study schedules just to make sure their grades wouldn't drop.  Just a few more weeks.

--------

"Hey, Pansy, wait up,"  Draco called out after her.  It was the second time today that he had ditched the usual crowd for her company.  His attentiveness had been a little too long in coming.  After his departure at the maze, there had been a lot of flirting over the year, small gestures from him but no dates.   A pat on the back, a slipped note in class.  He had actually complemented her hair and smile today.  It seemed over the top, but then several boys had made comments.  Maybe the spell had changed something about her. 

She tried not to stare at him.  She had been lusting after him the whole term already, she just didn't want to be obvious about it.

"Hey Draco.  What is this, a _second _escort?"  She said playfully.  "People will talk."

"Let them talk then," he purred breathily in her ear.  It was a weak attempt at seduction, but it was working and he hooked an arm around her neck for everyone to see.

Pansy couldn't help but smile.

----------

Harry's and Ginny's relationship was progressing well and they were spending more time together.  Under normal circumstances they would've likely gone to Hogsmeade for a butterbeer, or to the lake for a walk.  With the spell being practiced they both were feeling a bit frustrated.  Ginny finally had to put her foot down.

"Harry,  we've got to slow down…"

"I know, I know.  I'm sorry," he said a little out of breath.  "It's just I've never felt this way about anyone before…" He said, trying to refrain from kissing her neck.

Ginny winced.  That's exactly what she wanted to hear.  _Stay strong.   People are counting on you._

_This is artificially intense, it's the spell.. you wouldn't normally act like this.  Get a grip._  

"Me too, Harry."   Ginny felt so bad saying this because she had set the pace for a lot of the making out which was beginning to extend beyond usual groping.  "But I think we need to cool things off for a bit.  This is my Owls year and I have finals coming up. I really need to focus… for just a few weeks of school.  Do you understand?"

That really wasn't a question without a textbook answer.  "Yes, of course Ginny.  Y-you're not breaking up with me, are you?"  Of course, Harry didn't understand, not fully.  But eventually he would.

"Oh no, not a chance," and she pecked still confused boy on the cheek, while she adjusted her half-buttoned blouse and twisted skirt.  She left the closet immediately, with plans to avoid Harry like the plague until the Ball if she could help it.  Her desires were overwhelming her and she was really worried she wasn't going to make it.  _Please forgive me, Harry.  I love you._  She still hadn't said the words though.  That was enough to send any man running.

Lisa Turpin was having difficulty too.  She and Terry Boot were back in the closet, pursuing any activity up to, but not including intercourse.  It was a fine line she walked, and she hadn't discussed things with Terry.  He had no clue what was driving her in addition to her own interests.  She wasn't sure if this was helping or hindering her abilities to resist some casting time.

The other students had their crushes, but many were young and kept their distance from members of the opposite sex.  Natalie and Roberta had it no easier with their female interests.  Roberta's girlfriend was incredibly strict about progressing slowly with their relationship and Natalie's girlfriend attended Beauxbatons.  They wrote steamy love letters, and could only long to see each other over the holidays.   At least that's what her girlfriend had hoped.  It pained Natalie that she couldn't tell her anything about the spell.  But she had a letter prewritten and ready to go the moment she could send it safely.  After the spell.

Some other unfortunate members had already had to hex persons for unwelcome advances which had started out as kissing and led to acts they did not want to explore.  The younger girls stuck together all of the time now, fearing an ambush from more senior students, many of whom had already made their unsavory intentions known.  Millicent began tampering with some of the more dangerous potions and poisons from the questionable text, preparing herself and others in case of disaster.  She really was a volatile girl, with a lot of bent up emotion waiting to be unleashed on the next poor unsuspecting person.  No one dared cross her.

Millicent Bulstrode accepted Pansy's dare and had finally approached the boy who had captured her interest. To her surprise, rather than run in fear he stammered and accepted.  He had really grown into his own over the years and though formerly quiet, was taking more of a leadership role in the DA and excelled in his classes—  especially now that he was concentrating on what interested him most.  She had an escort to the Yule Ball and he had agreed to keep it secret for now, at least until their relationship got off to a stronger start.  They both knew that any mockery would shake their fledgling romance if they let the cat out of the bag too soon. 

They walked the maze at night, where they could not be seen.  She was a different girl with him and she liked it.   Before she knew it she was having her first, real kiss— with a boy she liked instead of just taking what was available.  He was sweet really and didn't press.  She was altogether surprised of how sure he was of himself and that he kept a masculine demeanor about him despite his tender affections.  _Who knew?_  She hoped it wouldn't make her soft, but it was nice that any boy could make her feel that way and not ask her to change her rather straightforward personality.

-------------

Hermione finally did remember why she had needed to see Dumbledore and returned to his office a few days later.

His grey blue eyes looked thoughtfully at the young woman and said as calmly as possible, "The Weird Sisters unavoidably cancelled."

Hermione's face paled.  "Then who…"

"We will not be hiring another band because there isn't sufficient enough time to assure me of their good character.  I will not just bring anyone up to the school."

"Miss Granger.  I know that you have the difficult task of coordinating the Yule Ball.  But I must say that hiring bands for school dances is a somewhat recent occurrence, and in my day the halls were charmed to play music suitable for waltzing,"  Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye.

_Waltzing._  That was painful.  Most students hardly danced at all.  The 'buts' in her mind were there, but she didn't vocalize them.  She had no solution to offer in it's place. 

There was no quick answer for the intelligent girl, because Hermione Granger was officially in panic mode.

"Don't look so surprised my dear.  Every student loves a good dance.  If you need anything from me, I will certainly be here to help you."  That was only a small comfort to the co-leader of SOS, who had kept too many secrets to share any now.

"And professor, I think we should include _all_ of the students this year.  It… looks better to include the entire school, and that way we can keep an eye on everyone while the representative from the school board is here."  Dumbledore agreed, though surprised at her suggestion.  She obviously still was worried about students going missing.

She charmed her clasp as she ran to the Room of Requirement.

Out of breath, Pansy was striding up the hall to see her stricken friend, doubled over from running.

"What is it?  Did someone finally give in?"  That of course, had always been their concern— that one of the twenty would succumb to compelling desire and opt for instant gratification, thinking of consequences to the school and others as an afterthought.

"No.  The Weird Sisters cancelled."

"SHIT!  You called me up here for that?"  Pansy shoved her forcefully.  "Damn, Granger!  Get a grip.  You gave me a friggin' heart attack."

Hermione gathered herself and looked up. "Don't you get it?  If there's no live music…"

"Wait a second, there's no replacement?"  Pansy asked.  It was still sinking in.

"Dumbledore thinks it too late to hire_ trustworthy_ entertainment."  Hermione rolled her eyes in obvious distress.

"Hermione, we can't do what we're going to do without a band at the Yule Ball!" 

"That's what I've been trying to tell you," Hermione said in exasperation pacing the last time, reaching for the Room of Requirement door handle.  "No one will come."

"No, they'll come— they'll just leave early…"  Pansy trailed off because as Hermione entered the room she spun to face Pansy with a naughty look on her face.

Pansy saw over her shoulder into a room filled with musical equipment, and an enormous grand piano in the middle of the room.  A large, tacky, disco ball sparkled overhead.

"No.  NO!  You're mad.  You can't…"  Pansy said.

"Not me.  _We_.  Come on Pansy.  I saw the look on your face at Rue Nineteen.  That was awesome and the only reason I wasn't so nervous is that I was in disguise."

"You're crazy, I can't _do_ that."  She said plainly.

"Shut up, you have an excellent voice and you can sing in a lower range than I anyway."  Hermione argued back.

"But you sang great in your lower register at the club…" 

"My voice was charmed to be deeper.  You have a natural raspy quality to your voice and you don't even smoke!  And stop making excuses, _Pansy_."  She put emphasis on her name like it was an adjective instead of her name.

"I'm glad you said disguise, because you know the school won't dance if they know it's us."  Pansy laughed.

_Ha! She's in._  "Yeah, you're right, they'll just stare and gape…"

"And laugh at us for weeks."  Pansy added.

"I don't know about that.  We just  need to practice."

"We need a disguise.  What did you do at the club?  You still looked mostly like yourself, but Malfoy didn't recognize you."

"It was the clothes and hair.  And I had a lot of help.  But this time I was thinking… Polyjuice."  Hermione suggested seriously.

Pansy laughed. "Your serious aren't you?  Didn't you _screw_ that up your second year?"

"Does _everyone_ know about that?"  Hermione sighed with resignation.

"Are you kidding, _furball_?"  Pansy taunted.

"The potion actually _did_ work, just… not for me."  Pansy raised an eyebrow and knew Granger wouldn't tell her anymore.  "It takes a month to brew, so we have to start right away.  Dumbledore said he'd help us…"  Hermione was already beginning to rise from her chair, making a mental list of ingredients.

"Well go on then. Go,"  Pansy said pushing her out the door.

Hermione returned to the Headmaster's office and was greeted with a warm smile at her mention of the solution.

"But you must promise me, that you won't tell anyone, not even the staff that it's us.  Pansy especially doesn't want this to get out."  Hermione pleaded.

Dumbledore chuckled and agreed to help her avoid what he suspected was teenage embarrassment.  "Please let me know in advance all of the songs performed so that the instruments can be charmed accordingly.  And Hermione, you have enough to be getting along with your own preparations without brewing the potion.  I will make sure it is ready for you."  Dumbledore concluded.

"Thank you, sir."  Hermione breathed a sigh of relief.  _Thank God, that task is off the list._

---------

She found it a little bit funny when she spied Snape brewing the potion on another workspace.  She dared not mention who it was for, and she was sure Dumbledore was a man of his word.  She peered closer while testing one of the Veritaserum trials.  While she waited for her own potion to clear she drew closer to a far cauldron near the window.  It stank of dead creatures yet looked mysteriously still, the color of blood, almost black.   _That wasn't in Most Potente Potions…_  And while it appeared to be smokeless, she choked on the fumes when she approached the open potions text.

"Miss Granger!"  Snape snatched her by the arms and yanked her away from the area, pushing her to a chair on the other side of the room.  "What did you think you were doing?" he spat but ignored any attempts at a reply.  He clasped his hands on her cheeks while he looked in her eyes, inspecting them.  "You didn't touch it, did you?"  His face was filled with worry and concern..._ maybe_ _fear?_

"No, sir.   Of co-course not."  She coughed again, unable to shake the stench from her nose.  He eyes burned and she attempted to rub them.  "What _was_ that foul brew?"

Snape grabbed her wrists and looked again at her eyes, watery and red.  "Come with me, Miss Granger, and _don't_ rub your eyes."  He led the half-blind student to the stores where he retrieved a vial from the shelf and a squirt bottle.  "Drink this."

"What is it?"

"Honestly girl, must you question everything?  Do you or do you not feel nauseous?  Pain in your stomach?  Itchy skin?"  They looked at her fingers and noted she was trying to scratch what parts of skin her fingers could reach with him still holding her.

Hermione took the potion and downed it in one, forcing her hands to stay by her sides while she blinked excessively.  Tears streamed down her face and he brought a white handkerchief up to dry them.  It was not an intimate action, though the very thought of him touching her in any way was provoking a response in her she would have preferred to hide lest it show on her face.   "In some potions, the fumes are so toxic that the chemicals can cling to your eyes and be absorbed through your skin and mouth when you cry.  Now then,"  as her face was dry for the moment.  "Lean your head back and I will squirt a bit of this in your eyes.  It will take the sting away and balance the pH of the fumes."  His ministrations were a discourse on potion safety instead of the sweet hovering attentions Madam Pomfrey would give. He caught the liquid in the handkerchief as it spilled down her cheeks.  "Are you breathing easier?"

"Yes, sir.  I'm sorry I disturbed your workspace, sir.  It appeared harmless."

"Appearances can be deceiving, Hermione."  _Why had he called her that?  Had he done that before?_  They were spending quite a lot of time together in the lab.

"There didn't even appear to be any smoke but it hit me immediately."

"Yes, well.  Come here then."  He left her side and she followed behind.  "Stand here.  Can you see it?'

As Hermione's world came back into focus she could see a thin transparent haze hang around the area of his potion.  "It won't affect the Polyjuice?"  Seeing the cauldron near it made her concerned.

"Very good, Miss Granger."  He made the effort to correct his previous slip, as if she hadn't already noticed.   "I have put a containment charm around the area, however it is not visible and you crossed it explaining your exposure.  I apologize for not warning you of it earlier.  As potions is your field of interest, it is only natural that you would be curious."

Hermione sat that night in her room wondering about his fair and kind treatment of her.  Not that she expected him to be sour, but he had changed his surly demeanor to one that tolerated and accepted her questions and curiosity.  It saddened her that it was about to come to an end.  _Appearances can be deceiving.  Indeed._  He had seen her all year and hadn't seen a hint of interest on her face beyond her studies.  _How would he respond if he knew the truth?_

For the purposes of the spell, of course and at Millie the Mistress of Desire's urging, she allowed her mind to focus on his physical contact with her.  _Pulling her to the chair, leading her blindly to the store room._  She wondered if he was a gentle lover, or if he would take charge more, leading her through the experience.  _Stand here._  It was both exciting and frightening to believe him to be so skilled that he could pleasure her so easily.  Of course, she had already burned his silky tones in her brain.  '_Come with me, Miss Granger.  You didn't touch it, did you?'  She imagined his strong hands tightly griping her arms, preventing her from moving as he kissed her.  She could smell him immediately, his heady scent filling her.  Reminiscent of potions, woods, and cedar._

Her eyes closed as she let the tingling feelings of arousal travel down her spine to nestle in her lower abdomen.  Her cupped hands wandered from her breasts to her panties and stopped suddenly.

She cried herself to sleep at the cruelty of it.  She could never have him.  He would never see her that way, never touch her except in dire emergency.  Like in the classroom.  Like giving her the antidote for the dye poisoning.  It was all honorable, nothing intimate or personal would ever be possible.  Her heart broke with the weight of it.  She had no one to confide in.  _Who would understand?_

---------

Several weeks passed and the girls practiced day and night, muttering incantations in their heads between classes to make sure they had it right.  The self lighting candles they ordered came in and Melanie tested them all, passing one out and one spare to each girl.

It was Friday night after her meeting, and as agreed, Draco met Pansy in the hall outside of the common room.  It was so close to the ball and every girl was feeling a bit electric and on edge.  He was looking a bit more confident than usual, taller but with a soft countenance about him.  It seemed odd to Pansy, but appealing.  When she moved her lips to speak, he put a finger to them and moved in close.  He bent, so slowly and kissed her deeply.  Pansy's mind blanked out. 

_Draco is kissing me_. 

Like she wanted, like she dreamt about.  All of the teasing and arguments were forgotten and their was no floor, no air— just the two of them.  He snaked a firm arm around her waist and pulled her into a closet nearby.  It was used so often for snogging that someone had transfigured a small cot for this purpose and Draco lowered her down onto it.  Everything around her was warm and him, his lips… it was hypnotic.  Her insides burned with months of longing for him and she pulled at his cloak and shirt.  Pansy couldn't remember, how long they were there, how much necking there was, what day it was… but Draco was fondling her and pleasuring her with skill beyond his years.  She heard the conflicting distant voices inside her head, the voice was her own. 

_You sell out.  Stop this_.

_Do this and you'll be safe, you'll be free._

_No._

"Draco stop.  I'm not ready for this."  Pansy said quietly, trying to push herself up.

Draco was still kissing her, nibbling her neck, her message not quite being transmitted from his brain to nether regions.  He was quite overwhelmed in his own physical responses.  "Yes you are," he said silky growl, teasing her with a finger.  "You want this…"  Pansy gasped and then cursed her response.  He playfully bit her shoulder.  She pushed him off, but he grabbed her wrists and pushed her to the bed, still caught up in their almost completed union.

Pansy was furious.  "Draco!  I said no!  Get off.  GET… OFF!"  She wriggled beneath him and wrenched her hands free to slap him hard across the face.  There wasn't much room in the closet for movement but Draco finally got up throwing his clothes on angrily. 

After dressing, he pushed up against her at the wall and leaned in to her ear.  "You don't know what you missed," he growled, leaving the closet in a disheveled huff. 

When Pansy came to her senses after that wide spectrum of emotions she looked around the dimly lit utility room, filled with brooms, a mop, a shelf with cleaning agents and floor wax, and there in a dark corner, saw a tube of lubricant.  Half-dressed but feeling naked, Pansy closed her eyes in disgust. 

_How could she?  Is this what she had imagined?  That romantic interplay of passion in a closet?_  And Draco, he was ready to take what he wanted.  _He did want her._  _Even though he left that way_, she convinced herself… She didn't want to bear the sting of rejection, yet wouldn't betray her promise to herself and the others so close to the goal.  Her eyes stung with tears, frustrated and angry.  Her desire for Draco was replaced by the pissed off remainder of her former self.  What had she become?  _Embrace desire, confront it._ 

_What a load of crap._

Pansy went to bed after taking some time for herself.  She read the Power of the Innocent, almost forgiving Draco for his forwardness.  They were very naked, and so close to consummating things, it was unfair for her to expect him to be able to stop.  Of course, it was her _right_ to choose to stop any time she wanted.  But then again, as she read, she remembered how many boys had approached her recently.  Now that they were casting, the virgins were drawing a small horde of admirers.  The magical attraction was an indiscriminate magnet for boys, indeed anyone who was interested. 

The spell wanted to be satisfied. 

_Like two charged opposites wanting to be drawn together, and it's only the will of the virgin that prevents their union.  One pulls, the other pushes… it's a chase._

Pansy shut the book closed, and hid it in under the floorboard in her charmed trunk with a false bottom.  The dormitory door stood slightly ajar, so when she got up to close it, light streamed through the crack.  The sight of Draco kissing a farewell to a thoroughly ravaged seventh year student enflamed her anger again, especially when he hugged her, making eye contact with Pansy over the girl's shoulder. Pansy slipped quickly into bed, seeing in her peripheral vision the girls poor attempt at slipping in unnoticed.  Tina Humberto looked up at her classmate with a sheepish smile.  She had obviously enjoyed herself.

Pansy wouldn't cry.  She was livid.  When she woke up she was still angry, but felt she had slept wrongly, looking like she'd cried all night.  It took makeup, eye cream and glamours to hide her puffy dark circles, yet did not remove the scowl which had transformed the rest of her face.

----------------

The next day, Hermione posted a big sign and a box for musical requests for the Yule Ball.  This would be the first year that students would be able to submit their requests for music.  The coordinator was pleased with her idea and patted herself on the back for her ingenuity.  It would be the best Yule Ball ever— even if it did have a surprise ending.  The Prefects would be pleased, even Ron would be relived that the Ball wouldn't be educational. She needed to practice and they hadn't the foggiest what the other students would like to hear— that they could actually sing. 

But, she made a slight err in judgment.  She posted this, without asking Pansy first.  And as she saw Pansy forcefully walking ahead of the Slytherin crowd, seeing the box and then looking at her with a puzzled expression. Hermione looked up… caught red-handed, realizing her mistake. 

Something snapped, and all of the tension broke.

Pansy lunged for Hermione and a fight erupted in the entrance to the Great Hall, the origin of which other students could only hazard to guess.  Arms were flying and students screamed, some running to fetch a teacher, and some egging them on chanting, "Fight, fight, fight!"  Yet other onlookers called out to classmates to watch the spectacle.

Hermione didn't even ask.  Her emotions had been running high too, and this was simply an outlet for frustration.  She hit Pansy square in the jaw after wrenching free from her vicious choke hold. 

"Damn it, Granger!  I… hate you!  How could you?"  Hermione wasn't following her, but she wasn't about to discuss it with her between blows, in front of a crowd.  They dodged and missed the contact of several furious swings, and nails raked down the side of Hermione's neck drawing blood.

"Stop it, Pansy!  Just… stop!"  Hermione shoved her hard into the ground, finally on top trying to restrain the incredibly powerful Slytherin girl.  Unfortunately, just when Gryffindor had the upper hand, the heads of each of their Houses stood to break it up.

"Stop that this instant!"  Shouted McGonagall. 

"That will be one-hundred points from Gryffindor for fighting with a student, Miss Granger,"  said Snape without a trace of fairness.

"Hey!" exclaimed Dean. "Parkinson started it!"  And a lot of agreement could be heard from the crowd.

"And one hundred points from Slytherin as well, Miss Parkinson."  Minerva wasn't going to let Snape not dispense suitable punishment for his own House.  She would have docked Hermione one-hundred and fifty points just for being a Prefect.  "What on earth possessed you two, grown women, to do this?"  No answer from the pair, who were rising to their feet to face punishment.  "What do you have to say for yourself, Miss Granger?  How did this fight begin?"

"I don't know, Professor."  Hermione kept her head down rubbing her jaw.

"And you Miss Parkinson?" Minerva wouldn't leave one of Snape beloved students out.

"Nothing could justify my actions Professor McGonagall," Pansy said primly, as blood ran from her lip down her chin.  The perfectly canned answer for the caught witch or wizard.

McGonagall made a loathsome face.  "I want the both of you to apologize and see Madame Pomfrey."

Both of the them muttered half-hearted regrets and McGonagall was a satisfied as she would be.  She could not believe the behavior of these two.

Hermione and Pansy didn't need to go to the infirmary but they went anyway.  It was an easy out.  They didn't talk the whole way and when they sat together in Poppy's office they became overcome with the stupidity of it.  They burst out in fits of side-splitting laughter.  When Poppy entered the room they were in tears laughing so hard, they couldn't stop.

"You're cured.  How can you be fighting one minute and laughing the next?"  She admonished.  "This is for your neck and jaw, Miss Granger.  Rub this on your lip, Miss Parkinson," she ordered relieving the pain with the tip of her wand.  "You can go."  She dispensed the creams and shooed them out.

"I'm sorry, Hermione."  Pansy said honestly after they left the infirmary.  "I wasn't mad at you.  Well I mean, you should have told me about the suggestion box, but that was really just the last straw you know?"

"So what is it?"  Hermione asked.

"Draco, he and I… and then he…"  Pansy stopped.  "He is such a prick!  I hate him."

"What happened, Pansy?"  Hermione looked nervously toward her sister.

"We were fooling around.  You know we met on Friday night like we agreed, and I got carried away.  I almost… but we stopped and he got mad and then fucked some other girl the same night!"

"I'm sorry Pansy.  He doesn't even deserve you.  Don't even think about it."  Hermione tried to support her as best she could.  Draco was a horrible prat of a boy.  It's not Pansy's fault Draco couldn't recognize a woman when she was staring right at him.  He had always been a bastard, but Hermione wasn't about to point out the obvious to her.

It was a shame Pansy wouldn't consider Seamus Finnegan's offer.  He was a polite enough guy.  He would treat her well.  But there was no chemistry there.  _Why do we always want the men we can't have?_

Hermione didn't know who had it the worst.  Ginny whose affection was returned whole heartedly by Harry, who subsequently had to avoid him just to keep her virginity intact; or Pansy who was full out wildly lusting after the most revolting excuse for a human being Hermione ever saw with manners to match.  At least Pansy had risked rejection and heartbreak.  Hermione was just flat out suffering.  She was stuck in a situation she could not help.  Existing was painful.

---------------

**Author's Notes:**

Next chapter coming real soon!  I can't wait.  Juts doing finishing touches.  Hope it will have been worth the wait.  I am so grateful for your careful reviews.  A lot of you have foreshadowed what's coming up, and that makes me wonder… Am I too predictable?  **Chapter 15:  The Yule Ball** (or some cooler name I have yet to come up with).

Ms. Snarky:  Yeah, I always wonder what happens to those extras when Harry leaves the scene…

Athena Linborn-  Come back!  I hope you liked the rest of it…

Christine-  Thank you for your review!

Slytherian Angel:  Thank you and I promise you won't wait long for the next one, only a few days.

Cephyse-  Thank you, and I know the feeling.  I have missed many a meal (and a good night's sleep) reading and writing…

Simply Scribbling-  Melanie's great- no mistake there.  I have a special reveal planned for the calligraphy.  Though I thought of two ways to do it… happy ending or sad?  I may write the sad for fun, but I couldn't bear to write that one first.  Here's 14.  And you'll see in 15, her robes may have to wait…

Franflutewitch-  Thank you! And I don't know about fatherly… but he's just a responsible guy.  Even with Melanie he's standoffish,  all the while thinking of keeping his cover instead of comforting her well at the time.  Of course I do think Snape had a bit of a need to redeem himself, and if he could rescue every damsel in distress I'm sure he would… but then there's the whole spy thing.  I imagine it must be horrible seeing what he sees and not being able to do anything active about it.  Cool to hear about your clock… I love losing track of time listening to music or practicing,  I haven't sung formally in a long while… too long.

Steph2bwld-  Shame on you, stop trying to kill the suspense with your accurate guessing!  Ha!  Good job, I'm not telling.  And Hermione blacked out her mark, doodling on her notes.  She would never hand in sloppy work.  And sorry too busy to go into McGonagall right now.  We can only speculate.  And Snape so intelligent, wasn't thinking hard about being thwarted but relived that so many were no longer list material.  The reference to the Brownheimer Antidote pumice option was a rare notation.  I imagine it wasn't likely to appear anywhere else.  You know I've imagined a dozen different ways Snape could find out Hermione is a virgin before the Yule Ball and then she "fixes it" by openly pretending to proposition someone.  I already wrote the entire sequence, so if I can find it, I'll add it to the end of one of the chapters, even though it doesn't fit anymore.  It was awesome.  They were playing with a potion which Draco ingests making himself mortally sick… so Hermione flies to the Forbidden forest to gather flowers while Pansy tends him. And yes, she flies, on a broomstick… pretty thrilling and scary as hell after her previous fall.  Then Snape watches on as he sees students futilely attempt to heal a dying boy he has no antidote for himself and to his surprise knows Ginny, Hermione and Pansy are all virgins from their preparation of the cure.  Why can't I find it in my saved documents?  No matter.  It no longer fits with the sequence of the story.

And for the virginity detector, he said early on in the fic, he wouldn't use it because he didn't want to know beyond a shadow of all doubt.  Of course, Snape is never wrong.  And the potions brewed n his class tell no lies.  He has no reasons to disbelieve their truth.  I wasn't going to revisit it again until later, but Snape does read poetry often and he does keep coming back to the poem.  And ah, the Christmas Holidays will be spent sequestered… Thank you for your questions and keen interest!

Rosmerta-  What made me think of that?  Endless choir rehearsals of course.  Time and time again I clapped in time with Ms. Seville in high school. Holding my hair waist high in front of me while we breathed… ha ha ha ha ha.  Little puffs of air, and clapping the beats out before we sang to make sure we had it.  And Remus, he's the man isn't he?  You know I might shag Snape senseless, but we'd all marry a guy like Remus.

Kramedart Trademark-  Thank you for reviewing… again the button calls your name…

Vivianne Mercedes- Yay!  Thanks for the confirmation.

Lyress-  Awesome! Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.  I always hope the chapters are suspenseful enough to incite that kind of response.

June-  Thank you!  They are through most of the second half of the book, which still references torture a lot.  Filler.  Ugh.   Yes, we will hear of Kendra soon… promise.  The next update is now!  Wait a second.  The next one will follow in a few days.  Maybe the end of the weekend.  J

Ezmerelda-  Yeppers.  McGonagall needs to lighten up.  Wait til Yule Ball.  She will crap a gnome.

Wackoramaco87-  Melanie is cool.  I'm a  little dismayed at my lack of character development for each of the girls.  I should go into more detail for Mel huh?  She's like, really young, but gutsy.  Hates what happened to her and can't stand the mush (outwardly) of people hovering over her, but she needs it, the comfort, the attention.  The Slythering girls are getting some real friendship out of the SOS group.  They can really trust each other there.

Maxy-  I have sung it a million times, and it's pretty to boot.  Now the calligraphy will come in, but Hermione is studying.  She knows it would be weird to have a strange owl floating to her, that Snape could recognize, besides she has no more time during the school year.  I've been trying to think of another vignette pre-yule ball, but I can't think of one.  Ugh.  It will be revisited.  I promise.

JOdel-  Whoops, thank you for your feedback— so it's isn't NEWTS year and I will have to square that, but will have to keep Hermione a sixth year, or will have to adjust everything.  I didn't go a lot into her use of time turner in her third year, but I suspect that Hermione nearly wiped herself out that year.  Maybe she got sick and had to recover (burnout)  and have to make up time… or how many naps did she take between classes or days trying to make up for lost sleep.  Doing so many hours over must have really thrown her body clock way off.  As for the restriction of underage magic, I imagine Fudge expects that students are to graduate before practicing.  I thought that Fred and George merely got their apparating license but didn't necessarily get to practice magic outside of school quite yet… but ah maybe I am mistaken.

Kary Sky-  Bon soir!  And true, it will be quite public… almost forgot if I hadn't mentioned that before… Don't be a ghost, can't touch anything and can't eat…

Azulkan2-  Good, I'm glad I've at least made it somewhat suspenseful…  And hey Melanie is cool, not emotionally unscathed, but alive…true dat true dat.

Linda-  Thanks for waiting!

Falafelgigglehiney- Thanks!  Girl power! And reviews rock… please review again!

Angie S-  Thank you and here is the update!


	15. Virginity Expended

Disclaimer: Still belongs to Rowling. Thank you Ms. Rowling for inspiring us all to explore our imaginations!

Here it is! Long awaited! This was the concept for the rest of the fic. The idea for a spell like this cast in the pentacle came first and then the story.

**Chapter Fifteen: Virginity Expended**

_"Today, the reason we haven't found our grail, the key to who we are as women, is because we look for it in worlds of false power, the very worlds that took it away from us in the first place. Neither men nor work can restore our lost scepter. Nothing in this world can take us home. Only the radar in our hearts can do that, and when it does, ... 'We will light up like lamps, and the world will never be the same again.' "  
--Marianne Williamson_

_"This upright pentacle apparently originated as the symbol of a Goddess who was worshiped over an area which extends from present-day England to Egypt and beyond. Her name was Kore (a.k.a. Car, Cara, Carnac, Ceres, Core, Kar, Karnak, Kaur, Kauri, Ker, Kerma, Kher, Kore, Q're, etc.). As Carmenta she was said to have invented the Roman alphabet. From her alternate Roman name Ceres have evolved many English words: cardiac, carnal, cereal, core, corn, and kernel. The port of Caraalis, (now Cagliari, the capital of Sardinia), was named after her. _

_Kore's__ sacred fruit is the apple. When an apple is cut through its equator, both halves will reveal a near-perfect pentagram shape at the core, with each point on the star containing a seed. Many __Wiccans, other Neopagans and Roma (Gypsies) continue to cut apples in this way. The Roma refer to the core as the Star of Knowledge."_

_ excerpt from 'The Power of Women'_

_"Throughout humanity's societies, the Sacred Feminine has been identified with the qualities of wisdom, justice, beauty, and compassion. She is also the irresistible power that destroys old forms and brings new ones into being. The Divine Feminine is this unseen dimension of soul to which we are connected through our instincts, our feelings, and the longing imagination of the heart. She is an invisible flow of energy that brings life into being, sustains and transforms it, and withdraws it into a hidden dimension for rebirth or regeneration. This process is rhythmic, and rhythm is a primary characteristic of the Feminine. In a very Masonic definition of Being, She has been described as being the principle of justice that inspires all human laws, She is the invisible spirit guiding human consciousness. _

_Creation and destruction, energy and rhythm— Twenty girls come together in the pentacle and leave as women, losing their blood yet remaining innocent._

_Choosing to stand in the pentacle, symbol of the feminine, enables casters to connect with their own womanliness and power such that they are able to call upon a goddess to help them. Such purity of heart and spirit amongst these sisters fulfills the destiny of the spell, renewing wards to a height unknown to many._

_Virginity expended, innocence preserved." _

_ excerpt from 'The Power of the Innocent'_

Preparations for the Yule Ball were going smoothly, but the only problems came when they needed to mark their exact places for the incantation. All of the tables had been removed for decoration's sake and Hermione, Pansy and Melanie had attached invisible ink pads to the bottom of their right shoes. Meticulously they dragged their feet along the floor, tracing the design of the pentagram. Hermione resorted to masking tape, but quickly she saw elves popping in and scraping it up. Thank God the staff wasn't there to witness the fiasco.

After months of stealth, someone eventually noticed. That someone was Dobby.

"Miss, I is knowing what you's up to. You is up to no good," he whispered. Dobby nervously wrung his tattered multi-colored vest made of used ties.

"Dobby, not here." Hermione's eyes went wide and quickly called him to the Room of Requirement, leaving Pansy and Melanie puzzled at her departure.

Hermione's mind raced as she wondered what Dobby could know. He was a talkative elf, and free to talk to whomever he liked. _Did he tell Harry? Dumbledore? _She knew that the members of SOS had been extremely discreet about talking about the spell nowhere but the Room of Requirement, and only she and Pansy had a copy of the spell book. Of course when she entered the Room of Requirement, the wide-eyed jittery house elf was already standing in the doorway.

"Dobby, what are you talking about?" Hermione asked, not offering any information, closing the door tightly behind her and warding it.

"I knows you is planning to do some magic in the Great Hall. You are marking the floor and we is having to clean it up before he sees. You will get in trouble, Miss. You has been nice to Dobby…"

"Dobby, listen to me very carefully. Did you tell anyone about what you saw?"

"No, Miss." Dobby shook his head furiously, worried she might become angry.

"You are sure, no other elves talked?" Hermione's gaze was intent making sure Dobby wouldn't lie. No real way to know, he had no master and therefore wasn't obligated to tell the truth to anyone.

"Yes, Miss." Dobby was looking a bit nervous, wringing his hands.

"Dobby, I need your help. I am doing a big spell of protection for Hogwarts at the Yule Ball. But it is a surprise. I have been working on it long time. Can you please, please keep it a secret? We've been using invisible ink and masking tape to help me remember where to stand."

"Then we can clean it up, Miss? Dumbledore is wanting to always have a clean castle. The elves was getting very upset, angry that you is writing on the floor."

"So you can see the ink?" Hermione said restlessly.

"Yes, Miss. But we have different ways of seeing, elves do. And I is hearing about the bad rumors about you, and they are wrong."

Hermione blushed a bit and furrowed her brow in confusion at the short elf. "Wrong about what, Dobby?"

"I shouldn't be saying, because I know you'll tell me it's none of my business… but you is never having a… you is a _virgin_." He said the last word under his breath and then quickly covered his eyes with his hands to ward off any unwanted criticism from the girl.

Hermione was so taken aback by his statement that she shed a tear. "You do see a lot don't you?" She had not thought that the staff who might see the truth were the forgotten ones— the focus of SPEW, the house elves of Hogwarts. They were the unseen, flies on the wall, observing silently everything that happened there.

Big crocodile tears welled in his eyes. "And you is planning to leave, Miss. I know you is. But it's dangerous to go there! You can't, and that bad man," he shuddered. "He is coming here, _I know_," he whispered.

Hermione knelt in front of Dobby and grew very serious. Their secret was teetering on the precipice of revelation. "Dobby, I need you to help me. I know you have seen a lot, but I need you to trust me. Please don't tell _anyone _about what you have seen. This is absolutely critical." Dobby started beating his hands to his face.

"Stop, stop, stopstop. Dobby… stop!" Hermione badgered, trying to wrangle his hands away from his face. "I'm not mad at you, but _please,_"she begged, " I've been working so long. I promise to talk to Dumbledore _after_ the Yule Ball, okay? I promise. But for now this has to be a _secret_. Between us, understand? Harry Potter doesn't even know."

Dobby looked up hopefully at the girl. "You said I could help you." Dobby brightened.

_Oh no, did I say that?_ Helpful though he might be, Dobby's idea of help in the past included an independent streak which caused bodily injury to Harry,. _Though he did work in the kitchens… _

"Hey Dobby, maybe you could be helpful…"

-----------

Pansy and Hermione were learning their music, Luna had helped with the Portkeys, Ginny was outlining their class schedules and collecting necessary educational supplies and medical first aid supplies, just in case.

Millie was still barking out instructions to increase the strength of the spell (and their frustration) by insisting that each of them pleasure themselves to the brink of climax and then stop. It was a means of testing their resolve before the casting. They had no idea what they were facing in the spell, only that they were to resist their desires. The book had no way to prepare them so Millicent was making it up as they went along.

_Damn it. She had just removed her only outlet_. This exercise did not help Hermione's confidence any and since she had enough desire on her own without the dissatisfaction of not fulfilling her physical needs for completion, she decided to abstain from masturbation all together. She was certain her current passionate yearnings could light up Northern London, she did not want to burst into flames by stoking her desire any further. She still had one last class with Snape, and besides which she had other matters to attend to.

Hermione had her work cut out for her. She offered to help Hagrid with preparations for his class, hoping it would lend her opportunities to go out in the forest, but of course with the fear about kidnapping he wouldn't have it. She had to give up and resort to borrowing Harry's cloak during the day on a Saturday, in part so she wouldn't be missed or out after curfew.

After one or two visits she found the perfect spot and began preparing it. She made a list of necessary charms and personal items for the girls. It was snowing already, sure to be a chilly winter. Venturing farther into the Forbidden Forest, she managed to avoid any unwelcome entanglements with the centaurs. Though she did catch the eye of the dove who had been visiting her, a relief to see him there. He followed her as she worked, watching over her. As always, it gave Hermione a strange feeling of tranquility and peace, even at such a time. She also caught sight of a startled white unicorn, barely discernable against the blanket of snow. It made eye contact with her through the invisibility cloak— maybe it could see as well as Dobby could. In a show of respect she bowed low, as she would have for Buckbeak. Ever since then, Hermione had been doing so for every larger creature she met in the forest, showing proper respect— the lack of reverence having caused so many misunderstandings and discord in the wizarding world already.

-------------

It was her last day of research and they still weren't done. They had made incredible headway though, and Snape had told her that she should be proud of the progress they had made at least in eliminating twenty possibilities down to two. Hermione stayed up late in her familiar position on his sofa next to the fire. It was always chilly in the dungeons, especially in December. She covered her legs with her cloak and continued reading.

Snape had already come to adjourn her once, but in response she had said, "Just one more page, Professor. I'm almost done."

He shook his head and finally returned when she nodded off for the second time. It was eleven thirty, but obviously a long day for her. She probably took at least two examinations today, had Prefects rounds, and was still preparing for the Yule Ball. "That is quite enough drooling on my couch I think, Miss Granger." She really hadn't been drooling, though she was perilously close to a snore.

"Huh? Oh." She looked around, not realizing how long she had been to sleep. "I'm sorry. I just really wanted to…" She couldn't suppress a yawn which drowned out the rest of her sentence.

"I know, and it can wait until next term don't you think? It's time to take a break. You may use the workstation if you wish over the Christmas Break. It will still be here." He smiled to himself, her study habits were as exhaustive and demanding as his own. But then, she had a distant look about her. Almost sad. And he didn't quite pick up on it.

She rose to leave finally and he shooed her out the door.

"It will still be here, Miss Granger."

_Yeah, but I won't. _"Thank you, Professor Snape."__

He bottled the still black substance as quickly as he could, without disturbing the surface of the potion too much. Snape waited for Hermione to leave before doing so, anyone would think he looked ridiculous in such an outfit. He was clad from head to toe in a cloak and boots that covered every inch of bare skin. He used a bubble charm to protect his eyes, ears, nose and mouth from the fumes, and dragon hide gloves extended up the lengths of his arms. Snape looked like a freaky spaceman.

Once the potion was bottled, he quickly disposed of the remainder. The cauldron— useable only once, he reduced to a pile of powdery sand. Sweeping it up careful not to disturb the dusty remains, he placed it in a sealed container and discarded it. The _Haustum__ Vigor_ was noxious in the worst sense. It would be three weeks before Snape would be willing to brew anything else on this table.

He removed his protective clothing for his other simmering potion. Finally after a month of tedious attention, he bottled two batches for the Headmaster. He had not said what it was for, but he obliged him. Snape still owed him much and brewing Polyjuice, though involved was a small enough task not to be considered an inconvenience.

He did find it almost amusing that his two would be Masters both asked him to brew something— the purposes of which he had not the foggiest clue. He shook his head as the Dark Mark burned, scarcely believing that this event could happen soon. Order members were on standby, waiting for word from Dumbledore. Gathering his Death Eater clothes and donning the cold emotional mask of indifference, he took the vial of dark destruction with him outside the Gates of Hogwarts, where he could disapparate.

"Severus, is it ready?" Voldemort hissed.

"Yes, my Lord." Severus bowed as was expected of him and offered the potion to him. "It is highly corrosive. Be cautious when using it." _On second thought, don't . Please… feel free to inhale deeply._

The wicked half man smiled in a crooked way, and turned the black vial over in his grasp. "You have done well, Severus."

"Thank you, my Lord. Is there anything else that I may do to be of service?" It was hard for him to find that delicate balance between servitude and groveling, between offering assistance and outright demanding what he was planning.

"No that will be all. And Severus, before you depart. Is there anything _unusual_ happening up at the school lately?"

_What was he getting at?_ "No, my Lord, not particularly. The Yule Ball is next week, but it is a bit different in that the entire school will be present instead of just the upperclassmen. I will try my best to tolerate what will likely be a nightmare of gaiety." Snape said this dryly with as must disgust and revulsion as his could. And he wasn't faking. He wasn't looking forward to it.

"Ah, the _sacrifices_ we make." Voldemort did not disguise the very pleased grin which eerily consumed the whole of his face.

Snape left and shuddered to remember Voldemort's last words. _Sacrifices_. He always left Snape cold, feeling that there was always some hidden meaning beyond his snakelike words. Snape prepared as much as he could for his inevitable death. It was only a matter of time before the Dark Lord saw through his ruse. It had been unnatural that it had gone on this long.

It was a shame that it would be Potter who would save them all and not someone like him who regularly stood within five feet of the enemy. Snape had a multitude of reasons more than Potter to want to see Voldemort banished to dust. But he would do what he must.

Snape adjourned to his room after another fruitless meeting with the headmaster, once again having nothing useful to report except his unnerving non-verbal cues. Voldemort seemed almost elated when he found out that every student would be at the Yule Ball. He sunk into his leather chair with a glass of whiskey listening to the melancholy tune which he tormented himself with every so often. He had listened to it for years after visits with the Dark Lord. It should be a love song, but it only burned into his mind the irony of his regretted decision to join the Death Eaters, and he imagined Lord Voldemort in place of the audience.

_Everytime__ we say goodbye, I die… a little. Everytime we say goodbye… I wonder why— a little._

_Why the Gods above me, must be in the know, think so little of me, they allow you to go… _

A little piece of him did die every time Snape was in the Dark Lord's presence. Sometimes he was so filled with cold hatred he could kill everything in his path just to get to him, other times, he felt so hollow that he would take his own life just to end the cruel servitude. But he still owed. Snape wondered every time, why he wasn't dead yet, and why if the Gods weren't merciful were they permitting him to leave each meeting alive, escaping Avada Kedavra once more_. Was it punishment? Penance?_

He laughed sarcastically at the next line of the song,

_When your near there such an air of spring… about it. I can hear a lark somewhere… begin to sing about it._

Once again— even birds were laughing at him and he abruptly cut the music. _No more self-pity._ The Light may very well be in a full war soon and they still had work to do. He brought himself to his feet, exchanged his whisky glass for the lighter solution of wine and curled up near the fire with the book of Shakespearean Sonnets. It would be nice to be loved in such a way, though it sounded unbearably tragic. Snape hadn't permitted himself any serious relationships in years. _What serious?_ Even flings were few and far between— empty, unfulfilling. It was hard to permit people to get close to him. He could feign interest well enough, but genuine intimacy was difficult for him. His father… well, wasn't a good role model for such things and his mother had been withdrawn for years until her death. They never talked.

He thought on so many students he saw openly kissing in the halls and sneaking in closets. Many of them would never have the opportunity to realize their dreams, careers, families. War was ugly. It had been ugly sixteen years ago and it was still ugly now. Kendra was still missing, though he had a pretty good idea of her whereabouts. He was puzzled as to why they were keeping her at all, if Melanie had been returned. He of course could not retrieve her. Once again he had to play out his role as sadistic bastard and wait for them to release her.

_And what would happen to Hermione? Would she die at Harry's side? _She used to be the insufferable, foolish know-it-all, but now he wasn't so sure. She could hold her own with the best of them. And her light would be extinguished in war, instead of at a ripe age beside a potions cauldron. Research suited her and the wizarding world would suffer greatly at losing her, never fully realizing the loss. Many of the students could fit that description. Draco was terribly bright, but didn't apply himself. He waited for his father to pave the way for him, and he feelings of entitlement and knowing things were guaranteed held him back. He would likely wind up a Death Eater unless the Dark Lord could be killed beforehand. And Neville— he was following in his parents' footsteps. Ever since his wand had been broken the previous year, his marks were excellent. Many students used their parents wands for either monetary reasons or nostalgia. It didn't mean that they were particularly well-suited for each other.

He spun the wine around in his glass and drained it, reading the poem one more time.

_…Who was the fool who said_

_'Love conquers all?'_

_Love has damned me forever._

_The strains of my heart_

_Incapacitate me_

_Yet this body drones on_

_Going through the motions_

_Of empty existence…_

--------------

Around the corner from the library a nervous seventeen year old boy stood in wait for his target. Hermione rounded the bend to the dark hallway, she was out past curfew again, then she felt a muscular hand snake around and clamp tightly over her mouth. A sharp stab in her side told her that she was in trouble.

"I know you're a virgin, Mudblood and I'll prove it," he hissed, his voice not low enough to lose its familiar tone.

Hermione cried out on pain, but responded as best she could. He spun to face her when she said his name aloud.

"Gregory," she raised a hand up to his surprised face. She had never called him that before, almost no one did. "You don't have to do this…"

"You know nothing, so just shut up!" He yelled, unsure of himself, and backed away from her, sharp thin spear in hand. Her eyes widened in surprise at the length of it, bloody from his painful jab in her side.

"Do you really want to do what the fathers of so many of your own classmates did?! What about them? Would you want that for your sister? Your daughter?!"

He didn't respond and she called after him, barely able to continue. "You don't have to…" She grasped her side and her knees were buckling. Goyle was long gone trying to outrun his own fear at such a frank confrontation.

Before she knew it strong arms were around her and she looked up into the face of Severus Snape. His eyes were filled with anger and concern.

"What happened, Miss Granger?" He whispered in her hair. Her knees gave out and she clasped his arm pulling her with her as she knelt, her body doubled over in pain. She tried to lift her head.

"I think I'm…" Hermione couldn't describe it. She was obviously injured. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so s-sorry." Her tears fell. She wanted to tell him everything, but it was only a few more days. Maybe it was good that he didn't know she was still a virgin. __

Snape shook his head. The girl was stabbed and she was confessing. He scooped her up and carried her quickly to the infirmary to be examined. His mind raced with what she had to be sorry for. When he laid her in the bed, he sat by her waiting for Pomfrey who he could hear scurrying up the hall.

"I'm sorry…" She whispered and a tear streaked down her cheek.

"Why? You have nothing to be sorry for." _Merlin, why did this girl keep apologizing?_

_I lied to you._ There were so many. She was speechless. Hermione was a bright girl and Snape was observant, but he hadn't any idea how much was on her shoulders this semester.

She finally found her voice and explained about how Goyle grabbed her and stabbed her with the sharp needle. She privately understood what he had done and likely why he had done it. "They take them so young, don't they? It makes them feel like they don't have a choice, I suppose," her quiet voice said sadly. It stunned Snape that she appeared to have a measure of compassion for the man who had assaulted her.

"What did you say to Goyle?" He asked, overhearing part of it but not all. He had waited in the shadows until he could help her. It pained him horribly that he couldn't intervene.

"I told him he didn't have to follow in his father's footsteps. That he could say no."

"No, he can't," Snape said in a defeated tone. There were no choices.

Hermione met his gaze unblinking and said clearly, "Yes, he could, if he wanted to. He could say no. It's just that there are consequences that come with refusing. You just have to ask yourself if it's worth it."

She wasn't talking anymore about Goyle, Hermione was talking about herself. But all Snape could conclude was that it was Hermione's subtle way of asking why he ever joined the Death Eaters. Their conversation could not continue due to the arrival of a frantic Poppy.

She took one look at her pierced side and gasped. When she pressed on it in her examination Hermione promptly passed out.

"Severus! What happened? This is…" Poppy had red angry eyes and shook with fury at her patient. The site around the puncture wound was growing grey and black at the edges. Thin spidery purple veins protruded from the center where she was bleeding heavily.

"Dark magic, I know, Poppy. I don't believe it's fatal." Snape said honestly. Goyle wasn't meaning to kill her. The needle had obviously extracted some of her tissue and he had a fairly good guess what its purpose was. Goyle was being initiated, and often a rite of initiation was to retrieve some item very difficult to obtain. He shuddered to think what Voldemort wanted with her tissue, skin and blood.

That was cold comfort to Madam Pomfrey's ears. "Not fatal?! I can't treat her, Severus! I can make the bleeding stop and give her something for pain, but I can't do more for her without that object." Poppy was tearful, but administered several potions and charms in succession. Hermione began to stir.

"Madam Pomfrey?" Hermione choked out a whisper.

"Yes, dear?" She put a cool reassuring hand on her forehead.

"Am I okay? Can I go back to my dormitory? I think I'd be more comfortable there." Hermione had heard some of their conversation.

Poppy surprised her with the answer. "Yes, you may if you wish. I'll give you some potion to take in the morning, but I don't want you moving much in bed." She shook her head. There was nothing more she can do. She bandaged Hermione while Snape waited outside. He was searching for a way to talk with Goyle without tipping his hand but was at a loss. Draco might have known something but he told his blasted father everything.

Poppy transported an immobile Hermione back to her Common Room with Snape, who accompanied them as far as the Fat Lady. McGonagall followed closely behind, alerted by the portrait hole's activity at the late hour. It was a warning she wished she had placed on the door far earlier than tonight. Snape filled her in at the entrance and McGonagall was looking more ferocious by the minute. She knew there was nothing that could be done to Mister Goyle. Only if one of the other Heads of House had caught him would there be punishment.

Ginny was still up, and turned from her seat on the couch looking up from her incantations. She immediately stopped tapping her feet when she saw Hermione.

Hermione was levitated through the portrait hole and Ginny could see the dark gaze of Snape from her seat. She sprung up to her friend's aide and Poppy explained.

"Now don't let her move, alright? I'm going to put her in here…" Poppy opened the door to a private room adjacent to the common room, revealing a large double bed and bathroom in the room. It appeared to be designed for the infirm and Hermione wondered when the room had been employed last.

Ginny could see in Madam Pomfrey's eyes that what happened was serious. Ginny bit her tongue and waited to get the story from Hermione. Everyone left, after McGonagall passed some words of comfort. She mentioned that perhaps Albus would allow her parents to come see her. Hermione missed her parents, but she wasn't so sure she wanted to see them so close to the big day. She felt only a bit injured, but she'd survive. She knew something was very wrong though, and felt it in her skin.

Once they left Ginny asked the obvious question. "Hermione, what happened?"

Hermione left nothing out, and Ginny was shocked. "What if Snape goes to a meeting," she whispered low so that portraits couldn't hear, "and You-Know-Who finds out we all lied from Goyle's little sample? He'll kill him. He'll think Snape lied deliberately."

"What exactly did you say to Snape?"

"I almost told him. I wanted to, but it's better that he doesn't know. He's _supposed_ to believe we're not virgins. It'll look strange if he found out." Hermione explained.

"We only have few more days to go." Ginny looked at her wound, the spidery veins peeking out from her bandage the blackness spreading. She paled. "Stay here Hermione. I'll be right back, promise. Don't move, you heard Madam Pomfrey."

"Where are you going?" Hermione called.

"Don't worry." Ginny left for the common room but instead of running to the boys dorms like she would have normally she turned somewhere else. She used the Protean Charm she'd been practicing. Luna had shown her how and charmed her clasp to summon as many of SOS members as she could. "Meet ASAP Gryf Portrait hole. Emergency."

The print was infinitesimally small, but Pansy could read it. She dashed to her classmates beds and surreptitiously snuck out of their dorm and down the hall, meeting up with Luna and Susan on the way. Ginny opened the portrait hole from inside, having already retrieved the book from Hermione's room. "Come on, we haven't got much time."

Nineteen girls slipped into the room where Hermione lay and many gasped their exclamations of worry.

Ginny led. "Hermione was stabbed by something dark. Now is our chance to help her with one of these incantations. We are doing so much already. Lets' do something to help her."

Hermione laid there in surprise. She couldn't believe she was on the receiving end of such magic. Pansy flipped through to a pre-marked page. They had made a list of several emergency spells and Hermione had already made a number of healing potions.

The incantation was simple and all of the girls laid their hands on her puncture wound in succession. In Latin they spoke aloud, chanting over and over again… "Integro noster soror, integro noster soror…" _Heal our sister._

Hermione felt tingling through her body and felt a sharp stab of pain from the inside out. As soon as the pain came, it vanished and the wound with it. All of the girls felt slightly physically weakened by the experience, but also strengthened in a way. In that moment they all felt a bond as strong as ever amongst their group. They were moved beyond words at what they could do, and none in that moment regretted their decision to remain celibate. _The Power of the Innocent._

The Slytherins left immediately, such a large number gone from their beds would be noticed rapidly. Besides after what Ginny had said, they had some housekeeping to take care of.

Some of the other members left also after wishing Hermione well. This included Lisa Turpin, who could have her Prefect status pulled from her for breaking this many school rules. Luna, Susan, Natalie and Ginny stayed behind with Hermione when an angry McGonagall arrived to confront them on their presence.

"Miss Granger is supposed to be getting her rest. Your visit could have waited until the morning." McGonagall was too upset to dock points. It was enough that the girls were safe. "You, Miss Lovegood, need to return to your dorm as well as you, Miss Bones. I will take you myself."

She glared at Ginny who had obviously fetched her friends, though she was surprised that Ron and Harry weren't there. "Professor McGonagall?" Hermione called out. "Can we keep this between us? I don't want them to worry, you know how they get. There's nothing they can do."

She nodded painfully, surprised that Hermione would deliberately keep her two closest friends away from such an important event, but understanding that she was doing it for their good. "Very well, Miss Granger. Now get some sleep."

Hermione was already tucked deep under the heavy covers. Ginny crawled in with her.

"Thanks, Ginny."

"Your welcome, sis."

The next morning it was all over the school. Goyle was in the hospital wing. Evidently, he had been beaten and hexed to an almost unrecognizable bloody pulp, attacked in the middle of the night, found with a pillowcase over his head.

When Snape stormed off to Gryffindor to retrieve the usual suspects, he spied a few of his Slytherin group soaking their knuckles in cloths doused with essence of Murtlap. Still others applied concealing cream in a corner of a hallway. Pansy, Linda, Roberta, Millicent, and several others were having a good laugh. Apparently, word had gotten out and the young ladies here weren't too happy at what they heard.

Finally, in their own way, they had gotten some retribution for Kendra and Melanie. At least the Slytherins had brought him to some justice. They were nicer than Snape would've been, if he had his own way of dispensing punishment. He found himself extremely protective of her of late, noticing her interaction with others in the halls, remembering her prayers in the Cathedral last summer. She was a unique young lady… and a dedicated researcher. In the Veritaserum trials, they had narrowed down the list from twenty possible substitutes to two.

It was a shock to everyone come Monday when Hermione attended class, fully recovered from her mysterious illness which she described was a flu. "Except no one ever got their own room from getting a cold," Harry noted.

Poppy checked her twice and she was much improved, in fact perfectly healed from a condition that the mediwitch had said she had not a cure for. They all just thanked Merlin for such a miracle of magic. While Madam Pomfrey accepted from time to time that there were things that she couldn't explain, Professor Snape did not. He was however, so preoccupied with discovering the plans Voldemort had for his potion that he found he had no time to pursue that line of thought.

---------------------

The Great Hall was usually covered by tables and such. The masking tape was covered by potted baby Christmas trees, long benches, and painted emblems on the floor which could be removed later. The ink was invisible and the elves had nervously agreed to keep quiet at least for a few more days. Many elves threw Hermione angry glances. She was again thwarting their sacred duties to serve, but they also saw the truth in her eyes when she said this was necessary. Dobby had promised and Dobby did not lie to other house elves.

Pansy groaned. "I take back what I said about this being a good idea. This sucks. Look at this one." Seeing the hideous choice, Hermione made a sour face. "Can I hit you again?" Pansy asked.

They had been practicing for weeks, laughing at the insane nonsense of some of the lines. They weren't afraid of being too nervous, they were more afraid of laughing their way through some of the sappier requests.

"Okay, we are NOT singing 'My Heart Will Go On.' I refuse," Pansy said disgusted.

"Eww, don't even mention it… urgh." Hermione made a face and held it at the edge like an old smelly sock and dropped it in the wastebasket.

Hermione reached her hand in the box and fished out another slip of paper. It had almost disappeared in the bottom having been rolled into a minute scroll. She froze when she saw the song requested, recognizing the familiar scrawl of the object of her desire.

"What is it?" Pansy asked.

"I'll take this one," Hermione said, plastering a false expression of calm on her face. Gooseflesh covered her skin at the thought of his request, an intimate song she could not have chosen better herself. And it would in essence, be a goodbye. He just wouldn't know it at the time.

Hermione had given Pansy several recordings of Muggle tunes that had been requested to see which ones she might be interested in performing. On one of the albums she became particularly moved by the artist's talent. It was perfectly within her range. When one of the songs hit a little too close to home she knew what she would sing. She was making her own request. Even though Draco wouldn't know it was her, she relished the thought of reading him the riot act in front of the whole school. He had no idea how much he had hurt her. _Rat bastard. _

_Now if she could just sing it without choking on the lyrics…_

-----------

They were meeting to make their final preparations for the spell, going over again for the umpteenth time their places, the incantation, confirming with one another their virginal status and that no one was having second thoughts.

Hermione was nervous to talk with the girls about her suggestion, so it was a relief to have Luna start out by discussing something cheerful. The girls were sipping hot cocoa on an odd assortment of couches. They pampered themselves regularly, as they were about to make do with very little— they were living it up while they could.

"Merry Christmas, Lisa… Merry Christmas, Millie… Merry Christmas, Pansy… Merry Christmas, Linda…" Luna said walking around the circle of girls in their usual seating arrangement.

"Um, Luna? Christmas isn't here yet," Roberta corrected, turning the shiny package over in her hands.

Luna just hummed a happy tune as she continued passing out the little wrapped gifts. "Of course not silly, but it is for us. Merry Christmas, Roberta…"

"Oooh… What is this?" Linda asked pulling her necklace from it's box.

"Don't open it yet, Linda. These are your portkeys."

"Shit. You _made _all of these?" Millicent asked, holding up her shiny, gold heart-shaped locket.

Luna nodded and everyone was impressed. Portkeys weren't easy to charm and it was dangerous to be caught with an unauthorized portkey, particularly— Hermione imagined, if one was underage.

"We can wear them at the Yule Ball. Merry Christmas, Susan… And when the time is right, you can open them and touch the hollow part inside and slurp…"

"We're outta here!" Linda exclaimed. "Cool."

"And when you finish, it's still a nice necklace to have when you're done. Merry Christmas, Natalie…" Luna continued her rounds.

Luna had gone out of her way to choose them for people. They were all different lockets, and each one had their name inscribed on the back. It was a kind gesture to people who, before the group's formation, had not always been nice to her. Luna had plenty of friends since her participation in the DA and SOS. It wasn't nearly at difficult to locate her missing belongings as it was previous years, and she had lots of help in retrieving her things from various locations around Hogwarts.

When everyone had received their gifts Pansy did a recap. "Alright, we all have the candles, the lockets, Hermione is packing for all of us so be sure and bring your belongings—pack lightly please, we are not going to the Swiss Alps— to the next meeting so they can go in the bag. Natalie, our resident seamstress has made and altered our robes…" There was applause all around for the exceptional work of Natalie.

"Do they all fit?" Natalie asked, and the girls nodded.

"Melanie is our go to girl," Pansy winked at her and pointed her finger with a snap. Melanie attended all meetings but felt a little out of use; she was their emergency back-up. "So that if anything happens during the spell, she can help us. Melanie, do you have the stopwatch yet?"

"Yes. I borrowed one from Madame Hooch. She had several," Melanie reported.

Hermione and Pansy had spent a lot of time ranking each member according to desire. The girls with the strongest feelings towards the objects of desire would stand at the five points, and the next five at the intersecting lines of the star. The last ten girls would stand on the circle of the pentacle. Of course several girls claimed to have strong desire, but what decided it was age and love. No one was surprised to hear that Lisa and Ginny were in love. Millicent, Ginny and Pansy gasped when Hermione volunteered her condition.

"You've got to be joking." Ginny was stunned. "You're one of my best friends and you never told me. Who is it?"

"I can't talk about it, I'm sorry." Hermione looked painfully away, covering an open mouth with her hands, trying to blink back tears. Millie mercifully bit her tongue, knowing she didn't want to be scrutinized over her choice.

Pansy identified with her, maybe she wasn't the only one to have a sour experience with love. _Love, lust, she couldn't identify it_. She just knew she was still fiercely attracted to Draco and at the same time she wanted to wring his ferret neck.

Melanie interrupted the painful silence. "Remember at least one of you has to hang on for at least 36 seconds. I know it doesn't seem like that long, but I imagine when we get there it'll feel like an eternity."

"We know, Melanie. Thanks," Pansy said. They'd been over this a million times. They had no reassurances that they would succeed.

"We agree to keep our clasps with us at all times now just in case of emergency, _no shagging_…" Pansy muttered under her breath, "and Millie, Mistress of Desire—_no shagging_, is available to help you 24 hours a day if you have need— _no shagging_."

Laughter ensued followed by exclamations of , "We know, we know, no shagging!"

Hermione couldn't delay any longer, their meeting was drawing to a close. "I have an item for discussion, and I have waited until now to bring it up because I have only recently found a solution. Many of you have heard of how valuable, in fact _priceless_ even one drop of virginal blood is." Nervous glances shot around the room. "I think it would be a wasted opportunity for us not to attempt to collect our blood during the ceremony."

"How in the hell do we do that?!" Millicent laughed. It was a joke.

"In front of everyone?" Orla asked, embarrassed.

"Yeah," Linda and Tracey said together.

"Hold up, it won't be that public. But it may be… awkward," Hermione admitted.

Hermione explained what collecting the blood would entail and she held up an example of what they would use. Several of the girls paled.

"We have to use that?" asked Emma shyly.

"There's no other way?" Hermione shook her head.

"And it won't break?" inquired Marietta skeptically

"No, it should be fine," Hermione assured them.

"Wait a second, You-Know-Who was trying to get all of this blood before. If we save it, can't he just use it to bring down the wards?" Luna asked studiously.

"No, that's covered in the book too. Don't worry. I'm in." Pansy led, and Hermione handed her a small glass tube. It was a fantastic idea. Hermione had been pouring over the potions opportunities for months and Pansy knew the value of such strong healing balms and remedies. They needed all the help they could get. Hermione had already made as many potions as she could to take with them, she doubted they would have the ability to brew once they were away.

"I must encourage you to consider participating, so many healing potions and medicines could be made from this. I've made a pomade in advance that we can take with us on our little break. It will be effective as soon as the blood is added. We won't be able to use magic once we leave and it will be helpful for us to have as many potions available as possible, in case of emergency."

"Where are we going, Hermione?" Lisa asked.

"It's safer not to say. But I have made a list of spells we should cast immediately on our arrival and then cease using magic so our whereabouts are not discovered. Pansy and I have agreed to be the ones to perform magic in case of emergency— though I will cast first because I am possibly more likely to get off if I should ever be prosecuted, since I am of legal age."

"Can you apparate?" A nervous Linda asked.

"I got my license last week," Hermione said. "But they have a way to track that, so we shouldn't use it unless we want to be found."

The girls chatted and left, leaving in spurts, until only Hermione and Pansy remained. They were still practicing for the Ball.

"So have you told him how you feel?" Pansy asked quietly, not looking at her and sorting through music she wasn't really reading.

"Can't. He wouldn't…" She drew in a shaky breath and let it out. "I can't tell him."

After a moment or two, Hermione inquired about Draco. "And you? Have you talked to…"

"No." Pansy's voice was hollow. "Why him? Why does have to be him?" Hermione's thoughts exactly. They were both doomed.

Hermione laid out her clothes, not at all the ones she had originally expected to wear for the ball. She left the beautiful silk robes neatly hung in her closet for her return. The white silky gown that Natalie had designed was waiting for her and she transfigured her robes to cover a bit more than they normally did, making the length to the floor instead of to her ankle and having the front overlap.

The bag to the right of her bed was the size of a satchel, yet it was as bottomless as Moody's trunk. She could not shrink and unshrink things after their trip, so she had invested the remainder of the Galleons she had in her drawer to make the purchase. It was valuable and she told herself she could keep it all her life. If she indeed lived a long time.

Hermione wrote several letters in the event something bad should happen. She wrote a very long one to her parents, to Dumbledore, to Harry and Ron, to Ginny, to Pansy, and an especially difficult one to Severus Snape. There were so many things she wanted to tell him, and she suspected they were things a man in his position needed to hear. She wondered if at this rate, she'd ever get the chance. And finally she made a will. She was emotionally detached as she did this, as if she were writing it for someone else. She took out her ink and good parchment and wrote in her most flowery hand. At least in the event of her death, Severus would know who had penned his work.

She wrote another letter, one she expected would be read by a shocked and angry Headmaster if he was still in the dark. Hermione had her doubts, but she hadn't checked them out. Dumbledore wasn't a man you could put much past, certainly not in his own school. She wanted to write another one to Severus as well, but that could wait.

Finally she was packed, yet her room still looked lived in, leaving enough of herself behind that it wouldn't look suspicious. Everyone expected that Ginny, Ron, Harry and Hermione would stay behind for the holidays.

Ginny stood in the door, dressed in her formal dress robes over the white gown underneath. Her hair was pinned up in an elaborate way on the back of her head, courtesy of Lavender and Pavarti couture.

"All ready?" Ginny asked.

"As I'll ever be."

Hermione touched up her makeup, heavy handed with the lipstick and rouge. She adjusted the rather flamboyant attire that hugged her curves and donned the cloak over it, carrying her hanging bags behind her. Dumbledore met her at the portrait hole with a vial. She drank a sip immediately, and recalled her strong urge to retch from the second year. Still foul as ever. Before she knew it she had long silky black hair and deep olive skin. She was a tall bombshell, and her dress was tighter still, but not uncomfortable. She slipped the vial in her pocket to maintain the look each hour.

"You are for the next few hours, Fiona Whittier. Your counterpart Monica Bruce is already awaiting you at the back of the hall. Good luck, Miss Whittier."

"It's Fiona to you, and thank you, sir." Hermione said in her own voice, cognizant of her need to disguise it.

Hermione took the back way to the Great Hall. Everyone was still getting ready, except for twenty, overly-prepared, nervous girls with butterflies. She saw Pansy at the back doors where she was dressing behind a curtain.

"Hey." Pansy said.

"Hey."

"Is that the bag?" She gestured to the bottomless suitcase that held all of their belongings.

"Yeah." With a one word vocabulary, how was she going to sing to the whole school?

"You got everything?"

"Uh huh." Hermione was getting more nervous. She took a deep breath and tried to focus on the music. They taped a list to the floor in front of them with their selections. The orchestra was impressive, instruments flanking them on each side and a grand piano for Hermione to play when necessary.

Dumbledore arrived with a camera and took a quick picture of the pair, who tried their best to keep a light spirit about themselves when it was shot. Magical pictures had a unique way of telling far more than a thousand words. Not terribly much longer there was a large easel in front of the Great Hall with the pair of foxy Polyjuiced entertainment. The caption underneath read:

_One Night Only— Fiona Whittier and Monica Bruce! _

Their faces looked as if they hid some mysterious secret, making them look all the more sultry. Suddenly, as the guests walked past, Fiona and Monica made suggestive kissy faces toward passers-by and primped themselves, fiddling with their hair and makeup. Several of the ogling boys were craning their necks as they walked by the marquee, being yanked along by their dates. _If the attendees only knew…_

The students began to file in to the elaborately decorated hall. And there had been no insignificant amount of grumbling that the younger students were attending, but there was really no disturbance. They played exploding snap in the corners of the hall and students frequently segregated themselves along their class lines, the younger students not really bothering the older ones.

The music got under way until all of the students arrived. Fiona and Monica wouldn't go on until everyone was there. Hermione peered through the tall red velvet curtain.

"Any sign of Malfoy?"

Hermione shot her an inquiring look.

"Senior." She rolled her eyes and then looked herself. "Nope. Well, well. Will you look at that…"

Millicent strode in the room looking almost unrecognizably pretty. She had waxed her eyebrows and trimmed her hair, allowing her Slytherin sisters many liberties with a wand and make-up. She walked in on the arm of Neville Longbottom. He was looking mighty proud of himself and not at all showing signs of sheepishness or embarrassment at coming to the dance with the student voted "Most Likely to Kick Your Ass". Millie was breaking all the rules tonight. Neville was being quite the gentleman.

Ron gaped in surprise as did his date, Daphne Greengrass. She had finally relented after he asked her out for the fifth time. Seeing Neville's unapologetic attitude, Ron took a page out of his book and put his shoulders back.

Millicent sauntered her way over to an unaccompanied Melanie.

"Hey, Mel. No date?"

"Went stag." She wanted all men and boys as far away from her as possible. "So, Neville was the big secret huh? You look good together." Melanie nudged her playfully.

"You think so?" Millicent suppressed a smile.

"Yeah, he's sweet to you. It shows."

"Yeah, he is isn't he?" Millicent shot him a smile and wink as he walked back with their drinks. She slipped the tiny box into Melanie's pocket. Millicent's voice abruptly changed to a harsh growl. "Put him on his back, Melanie." The topic had changed to business.

"What is this?" Melanie asked, fingering the small case.

"Toxic dart."

"You got this from that book didn't you? This is dark magic, this is."

_Who me?_ "It's not dark. It's… grey." Millicent feigned an innocent look.

_Grey, my arse. _ "Will it _kill_ him?" She whispered.

"Only if you let it go too long before you administer the antidote," Millie said quietly with a furtive look and slipped her a vial. "Take him out."

Melanie looked over to Neville who was trying to walk carefully with the overly full glasses. They were sloshing, and he was sweet, but still kind of klutzy.

"What do you think your mum will say when she finds out you're seeing a Gryffindor?"

"Melanie, somehow, I don't think that's going to be the first question on her lips after this little piece of magic."

_Too true._

-----------

She was a beautiful svelte woman, with a velvety voice utterly wasted on such bad song lyrics. Fiona was dressed in a vintage twenties dress which accentuated her cleavage, hips and small waist. The colors had been charmed, multicolored in several places to make it look more modern and outrageous. She was not unpleasant to look at. Most of the selections that students had made were recent additions to a genre of music Snape wanted no part of.

Disguised as witches no one recognized, save Dumbledore— Pansy and Hermione sang exceptionally well despite the tune.

_"I near a wind  
Whistling air  
Whispering in my ear  
Boy mercury shootin' through every degree  
Ooo girl dancin' down those dirty and dusty trails  
Take it hip to hip rocket through the wilderness  
Around the world the trip begins with a kiss  
  
Roam if you want to  
Roam around the world  
Roam if you want to  
Without wings, without wheels  
Roam if you want to  
Without anything but the love we feel..."_

All of the students screamed when they began to sing 'Roam.' Hermione had fantasized about having the B-52's sing at the Yule Ball, but there was no way they could afford their fees. They were like the Beatles of the wizarding community, their music had no time. The most successful wizarding band had crossed over, almost permanently into Muggle pop culture. Well, the students would have to settle for Fiona and Monica and they were doing a great job of it, despite the missing voice of the man. Pansy did an admirable job of singing Fred's parts in her lower register which encouraged amused laughter from the crowd of dancing students below the elevated platform.

They launched straight into 'Revolution Earth' the second B-52's request and Hermione was in full swing.

_…Then we know that we're alive  
If we weren't  
Sure before  
I reach for you by my side and soar  
  
Revolution earth  
On gliding fireworks  
Revolution earth  
Rolling under us  
The world is turning on gliding fireworks  
You beside me  
Revolution earth…****_

"Oh my God. Ginny? That's Hermione! I know it is," Harry spun to face Fiona, scrutinizing her look.

"What are you talking about?" She tried to steer him away from her sister and help him focus on dancing.

"Her!" He pointed and Ginny slapped his hand down to his side.

"How do you figure?" Ginny played dumb, trying to cover for her friend.

"That's her favorite song, I saw her rockin' out to it on her headphones during the summer! Can't you tell? Just look!"

"Harry! Keep your voice down," Ginny hissed in a whisper.

"You knew." Harry fumed.

"Yes, I knew, now shut up and dance with me," she said grabbing his hand and pulling it to her waist. "There's a reason that she wanted this to be kept secret."

Harry shot frequent looks in the direction of the entertainment, still impressed that one of his best friends possessed such a hidden talent. _And if Fiona was Hermione, who was singing with her? _She had been a mystery a lot of the school year, taking a back seat in the DA and studying more than she should have needed. Harry was easily distracted by the sight of Ginny. He was half worried she would stand him up, as she had avoided him for nearly two weeks. The physical contact now was unbearable.

_"You beside me revolution earth, Do do do… Dodododo do do do…"_

Pansy and Hermione decided to save the best for last, knowing they would be unable to sing _Row, Row, Row Your Boat_ after the last two songs of the evening.

Pansy had dressed in a full length, tight fitting black leather dress, from an entirely different era than what Hermione had chosen. Monica had dark skin and tattoos, beautiful dark curly hair and daring eyes. If Hermione was Veronica Lake, Pansy was dressed as Courtney Love. Monica approached the audience and located the object of her desire and hatred. It was impossible to make eye contact at this distance and have Draco recognize that she was singing to him, but she knew and that's what was important. She felt the painful notes rise up from her belly through her throat and into her head. _'Why you? Why did you treat me that way?'_

_I keep on fallin'… in… and out of love— _

_With you._

_Sometimes I love ya,_

_Sometimes you make me blue_

_Sometimes I feel good…_

_At times I feel used—_

_Lovin__' you darlin', makes me so confused._

Hermione played piano to accompany her, without interference of instruments. Pansy needed to sing at her own pace.

_I keep on fallin' _

_in and out… of love— with you…_

_I never— loved someone… the way that I… loved you_

_I never felt this a-way_

_How do you give me so much pleasure?_

_And cause me so much pain?_

_Just when I think… I've taken more than would a fool…_

_I start fallin', back in love with you._

_I… ke-ep on fallin' _

_in and out… of love, with you…_

_I… never loved someone… the way that I, loved you_

Aw, aw , oh, oh fa-allin'… Fallin'… 

Pansy was spent, hung her head, unable to appreciate the huge applause from the crowd— her peers cheering for an awesome and moving performance. She was too caught up in her own pain.

Hermione remained on the stage, gathering herself to play and sing at the same time. She had practiced for weeks, a song she knew so well, to get it just right. She looked right at him. Snape was distracted, looking like he wished to leave and at the first chord, caught his attention. She took a deep cleansing breath as she played the first arpeggio…

Everytime we say goodbye… I die… a little— 

_Everytime__ we say goodbye… _

_ I wonder why— a little._

_Why the Gods above me, must be in the know… _

_ Think so little of me…They allow you… to go?_

Her words were sung slowly, almost spoken… as she reminisced about the year. _Stir fry, the leather chair, his smell in Hogsmeade, the calligraphy… their research._ _Why do I love you so much?_ It was all coming to an end. Tears edged toward the corners of her eyes.__

_When your near there such an air of spring… about it._

_ I can hear a lark somewhere… begin to sing about it._

_There's no love song finer, but how strange… the change… from major to minor…_

_Everytime__ we say good… bye._

As the interlude of a French tune were played out by an unmanned accordion, Snape stood nearly paralyzed at her words. Fiona Whittier sang with such conviction. He felt like she was singing right to him. The song lost its previous bittersweet significance and was replaced with the possibility of unlocking a part of himself he hadn't acknowledged in years. Life isn't all about duty, honor, and sacrifice.

Her voice was so quiet, nearly a whisper as it broke breathily over the goodbyes.

_When your near there such an air of spring… about it._

_I can hear a lark somewhere… begin to sing about it._

_There's no love song finer, but how strange… the change… from major to minor…_

_Everytime__ we say good… bye._

It was the conclusion and the instruments played ordinary waltzes as Fiona Whitter adjourned to the rear of the hall to change.

He was curious for himself, and decided to inquire where he could hear her sing again. Though he wasn't quite sure if that was it… entirely. She had stirred something loose in him, and he hadn't felt that way in a long time.

"Fiona?" Hermione could hear Severus's silky tones carry into the back hall.

Pansy had already changed and looked up at him in surprise, and hidden disgust. She left quickly, bidding him a good evening.

She could scarcely believe her ears. She was already transforming as she slipped into her white gown. He spied her through the silk dressing screen and turned to give a bit of privacy. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her throw the tight-fitting satin number over the screen. Hermione quickly threw on her long dress robes over her white ceremonial gown and emerged.

He looked at her puzzled. She still resembled Fiona Whittier too much and she noticed her straight black hair and olive skin remained. The Polyjuice wore off, and she transformed quickly— the light dawned on him. "I'm sorry," Hermione said looking him straight in the eye. "You just missed her."

_He should have known. _And he couldn't speak. No wonder something looked familiar about her.__

"I hope you enjoyed it, though I'm sure not all of the music was to your liking." She excused herself and took a heavy bag with her depositing it by the Christmas tree on the back left of the hall.

When Snape finally found his voice, she was gone. "It was beautiful." _Beautiful. _He felt a strange tugging toward her, yet disturbed that this was his student. _How hadn't he noticed her? How didn't he see the similarities between Fiona Whittier and Myra Winters? _

He rejoined the teachers on the right side of the room. He, Lupin, McGonagall, and Dumbledore were standing rather close together. Snape shot the Headmaster a scolding look, "You could have said something you know…" Dumbledore shrugged and pretended he didn't know what his potions master was talking about.

Seeing Hermione come into the room, all of the girls separated for their places. They stood just adjacent to the pieces of masked tape and potted plants.

The members of the DA were panicking a bit to see the infamous Death Eater stroll into the room near midnight. All wands were at the ready. Neville was wondering where Millicent had gone and Harry felt that Ginny was standing too far from him for his own comfort.

She gave the first signal. Hands were in their pockets, gripping the votives.

At least Lucius waited until the end of the Ball to show. He finally emerged into the room and Hermione took it upon herself to introduce him. "Sonorus," she whispered to her voice box. The music stopped. Her voice boomed over the conversations and shuffling of feet. "May I have your attention!" The students gathered to the middle of the room. "I hope this has been another wonderful Yule Ball…" Applause emerged from every corner. "And I have the pleasure of introducing Mr. Lucius Malfoy, here on behalf of the school governing board. Would you like to say a few words?" The platinum menace was already striding into the middle of the hall, meeting Hermione's determined gaze.

She gave the second signal. Hands were out of their pockets, candles in hand.

He opened his mouth to speak and everything happened at once.

In a single moment, Lucius had pulled a long metal rod from his cloak, slamming it in the woodfloor. It poked a minute hole in the silky billowing parachute that represented Hogwarts' wards. And it was beginning to rip. The third signal was not necessary.

_Somewhere in Voldemort's presence, fifty faithful servants stood by waiting to apparate. "Just a little bit wider now." _

All of the girls shifted slightly to the right or left kneeling to activate their candles in one united fluid motion, all potted Christmas trees were kicked aside. Before anyone could blink the pentacle shown a fiery blue whose light danced along the floor, illuminating each of the girls. Three of the teachers and a few students had managed to cast spells, but they immediately vanished— the red, green and gold lights were absorbed into the floor adding to the magic contained in the pentacle. They had been sucked into the spell, which had created a vacuum of magic in the circle. No one could move except the twenty. No witch or wizard could cast anything.

Millicent touched Melanie's arm in the same instant to free her for movement and Melanie's dart flew. Lucius collapsed suddenly on the ground, dropping the device. Melanie reached in her pocket and drank a strengthening potion, discarding it on the nearby table. She wove through the frozen students, careful not to touch any of them. She easily hoisted the unconscious Lucius onto her shoulder and dragged him to the outside of the circle, though she would've preferred it had been by his hair. She dumped him in a heap by the Christmas tree. He looked very dead.

"What have you done to my father?!" Draco screamed.

"Shut up, Draco!" Melanie fished out a roll of duct tape and forcefully held it up for all to see, having no magic in her wand to help ameliorate the situation. She ripped out a piece and threatened, "None of you can move and we don't have any time, so shut up or you will be gagged."

"What is the meaning of this?" Minerva exclaimed, unable to contain her inner authority. Melanie approached her with a determined expression and another sound of ripping tape. Minerva clamped her mouth shut, but she looked ready to hex someone. And she looked afraid.

All the students did. As they should've been. SOS was in control now.

"Let's go!" Pansy exclaimed setting a clapping pace. Snape's eyes widened as he recognized what had been played as a 'game' in the girls' dorms of Slytherin House.

All looked into the middle of the cast circle as the tiny tear in space began to widen.

One round of rhythmic clapping and then two. On the second pass they were in perfect unison and on the first beat of the third round they began to chant in Latin, throwing their arms out wide. It sounded almost like singing, hypnotic.

_"Create desire in my loins like a flame… My body refuses each calling to the light… _

_Surging within me threatens my hold… Both certain and pure, I keep my control…_

_No to passions which tempt my soul… No to the cries of my lover's hark… _

_Build a wall to protect me like no other… My will holds the power of a thousand virgins…_

_The strength of goddesses lie before us... We are ready… Challenge us!"_

When the incantation was completed, a wave of magic imploded on the center of the circle and rebounded on itself exploding back toward the witches. The entire room was bathed in light.

Remus looked on in awe, realizing at once what had happened. Immediately Minerva whispered the question, "What is happening to them, Remus?"

"They are being confronted by their most powerful desires, fighting them as long as they can to keep the wards up." His voice was hollow and disbelieving. This was a ritual not performed in hundreds of years, so few virgins existed anymore, certainly not a large enough group willing to do something like this. This was lost magic. They had obviously taken his book.

Severus looked on at the young women, all clad in white silk, arms spread wide in personal sacrificial gesture, welcoming their fate. Most were only 14 or 15 years old. _Gods._

They had studied hard. They knew the risks to performing such a complex spell.

The girls fell, one by one, and as they fell every person in the room could feel the heavy veil of magic raising the wards on the ancient castle. Ginny and Pansy were shaking, their faces taut with fiery determination to persevere. Then Ginny caught sight of Harry and made eye contact with him. He was worried for her, wanting nothing more than to protect her. His look of frustrated defeat in not being able to reach her despite will brought her to her knees in sobs. In that moment, his eyes confirmed it— she knew he loved her.

Pansy tried to keep Hermione in her sights, focusing on the task at hand, and trying not to think about the intrusive thoughts of last Friday— Draco touching her, murmuring anything she wanted to hear. She was angry with him. He wasn't ready for any kind of serious relationship, though he had his moments. Her obvious physical response to the powerful temptation of her own desires was weakening her, which only caused her to become more incensed. He didn't have any clue how much she had to tolerate, how difficult it was to resist… to refuse him… '_I will beat this!' _ Building upon her anger, she spewed forth an exclamation of rage and looked straight into the image her mind produced, her own face contorted in a climax of ecstasy.

"NOOO!!!!"

Pansy felt her insides rip, collapsing painfully to the floor.

Only Hermione was left and Pansy and the others looked up from the floor in awe, hoping that she could hold on… just a little bit longer, long enough for the wards to be most powerful. _How was she resisting? _

Melanie held the stopwatch and her heart raced. Hermione's face was pained her chest heaving with effort—she wasn't looking good at the moment. "Come on Hermione, focus! Just ten more seconds! Hold on!"

The girls were screaming cries of support. No one knew what the ten seconds was about, yet everyone was doing the mental countdown. There was distant shouting, but Hermione barely registered it beyond the voices in her own head.

_Come on, Hermione, _Harry thought._ Why didn't you tell me?_

Hermione's body was beginning to tremble and shake, sweat lining her forehead and upper lip. He was there, before her, offering her everything— love, companionship, completeness. He looked more incredibly attractive than she had ever remembered, long shiny ebony hair, strong arms and fingertips… then her mind wandered about his hands, his dexterity… and he was pleasuring her, whispering syllables in her ear— unintelligible words which had no purpose other than to seduce her.

_Five…_

Her eyes drifted closed, like she was trying to recall a stray dream, trying to visualize it. She came to her senses resuming her inner self-talk. "This isn't real. It'll never happen," she muttered in anguish, biting her lower lip. _Let my vices be done away,_ _ all lustful desires extinguished…allaying for me every disturbance of flesh and spirit…_ she whispered inwardly, the Prayer of St. Thomas calmed her.

Her amber eyes grew wide and glassy, she appeared to be staring at some indiscernible point in the air before her, wrestling mentally with another will. Pansy knew better. The will Hermione was fighting was her own. This spell was about self-control, and all of the girls, now women, had precious little of it left before the ceremony began.

The teaching staff was holding their breath, Albus witnessing the spectacle with a bit of relief, anger and pride all in one.

Severus Snape didn't know what to feel. _She had lied._ All of this time he was trying as best he could to keep his students out of harm's way, both disappointed that so many had so freely given up their virginity and grateful that they wouldn't have to face the Dark Lord.

But there they were. Twenty virgins, all sacrificing their maidenhead to protect themselves and the school. And this wasn't just Gryffindor foolishness, though he suspected she was a ringleader. In fact there were impressive Slytherin components at work here. This group was very clever in their rumor spreading, keeping this group and a spell of this incredible magnitude a secret from Albus Dumbledore himself.

Pansy had played an important role, so curious that they would pair up, and yet it wasn't the student from his own house he was looking at. Here was the woman at Rue Nineteen who sang so seductively, the one who escaped the clutches of Malfoy, the one who defied him in class, her hand always asking one more question. Here she was— beautiful, powerful and terrible… filled with light, anguish, pain. _How could she hold on to it like it was something precious? How could she not let go like the rest of the girls had?_

_It's like the Mirror of Erised, showing you what you most desire but not the truth. Staring at it too long you can wither away…_ she thought.

Then it hit her again, her mouth opened wide with the brunt of the next wave of temptation, tears streaming down her face. _So hard to resist_… Hermione cried out, her own voice inaudible from the spell taking hold. She fell to the hard floor, ears ringing, a bit dizzy. She slowly opened her eyes and saw the explosion of light from the center of the room. It arched up to the ceiling and shot outward beyond the walls and the front gates. Magic saturated the Great Hall and the crowd watched it seeping into the floor like thick honey, renewing Hogwarts wards once more. The gap was closed.

Hermione took a few moments to catch her bearings. _'Next step… come on, not done yet.' _

The group still looked on in silence, too stunned to move even though the vacuum had been released and the students were free to move.

Hermione caught Snape's gaze, and tried to prop herself up on one elbow. "Pro…f-fessor…S-snape?" She mouthed and motioned for him to come to her. She was weak and she couldn't go to him.

He went to her immediately in a fluid motion, kneeling beside her in support. She looked up at him and his obsidian gaze searched her, seeing in her eyes only a reflection of himself. She raised her hand to his forehead, closed her eyes, tracing the middle of his brow with her thumb…

_"Blessings of Gaia be with you, Severus."_

He heard the protective spell echo in his mind, unsure if he audibly heard the blessing or not. A warmth flowed through his body and for the briefest moment he felt connected and utterly bound to the sacred. Her thoughts and wishes for him to be safe were the most pure, so honest. He was astonished at the power of it, his eyes nearly tearing up at the enormity of that moment.

She opened her eyes and pulled her hand back, scooting back on her hips away from him and pulling at a locket she wore.

She quickly looked around the room, making eye contact with her sisters. All of the others appeared ready.

Pansy cried out, "Now!"

Hermione grabbed the nearby bag, flicked the locket open, and touched the hollow place, feeling a familiar tug at her navel, she gave an apologetic look to a shocked Professor Snape who could not intervene, but only watch her sudden departure.

--------

**Author's Notes:**

Whew! I hoped you liked it! Thank you to reviewers who made the observation that Lucius would gain protection if he remained within the circle. I originally had imagined that Millie would be the one to put him down after Pansy screamed out "Somebody put him on his back!" in an angry tone, but I couldn't make it happen. Melanie has an important job anyway.

Hope the incantation doesn't sound too lame. I wasn't about to try and translate it to Latin or Gaelic… I wonder if it would even translate.

I had a very difficult time choosing which goddess to connect with Hermione and Severus. Likely, I should have chosen Artemis, goddess of the hunt and protector of children. She of course, was an eternal virgin who punished her followers who did not remain chaste. Or perhaps Aphrodite, the goddess Venus who suffered for her love. Ah well. Gaia sounded better. Still researching. Anyway, a virgin Hermione is now, but no Artemis/Diana.

The first two quotes are from websites on the Sacred Feminine. The first quote really is from Marianne Williamson. The last paragraph in italics is my own.

Do yourself a favor and listen to Alicia Keys if you haven't before. In addition, the arrangement of 'Everytime We Say Goodbye' was sung by Annie Lennox on the Red, Hot and Blue album (a compilation of different artists, not just her). She is incredible.

I love the B-52's and I imagine Hermione grew up listening to them, probably also what her parent's listened to. They are cool. And I'm and 80's girl what can I say? Revolution Earth came out when Hermione was eleven, so I imagine she feels pretty girlish excitement when listening to it.

Beky- Minutes before I upload, I get your review! Thank you! I love the fight scene too. As for remaining virgins, you will have to wait and see… you'll be 76% pleased.

Maxy- No Lucius Malfoy couldn't foil a pot roast where SOS is concerned. Girls rock! Thank you for saying I keep the characters true, I do tend to make my heroines a bit too strong for their own good. I really wanted to make it appear that these women didn't know their own power before Lupin's little lecture. After healing Hermione, everybody feels it.

Omani- Thank you! And here's more suspense.

White Roses for Me- Yes, no kiddies. This is rated R for a reason. And I apologize for the you're/your issue. I haven't corrected my old pre-beta chapters.

Keket Amunet- Thank you for reviewing and the calligraphy will come later…

Romm- Hahaha! No fight club. But that's cute. Sound like an idea for another fic… maybe I should post it as a wiktt challenge…

Ezmerelda- Don't you think? Draco is the king of jerks. He doesn't value enough and the disappearance of Kendra and Melanie really hasn't affected him in any meaningful way. Pansy I'm sure had the same thoughts when she was sitting there. Once Draco was out of her line of vision she could see the closet and cot for what they were. Used.

As for the Wall of Desire, it will come into play later. Pansy gave up after a while, and only Luna really could perform it well. Hermione could manage the wrist thing once after a hundred tries. She only has to say the second half of the incantation without her wand to activate it. It will be needed later, though she could have used it in the halls at school if any particularly unwanted advances were made.

And while I am sure that secretly Remus, Dumbledore, Snape and other adult men could appreciate the attractive qualities of the girls, their personal mores set stronger boundaries than the hints of the spell can cross. Snape is the only one close enough to Hermione to be affected by it, though he would never personally acknowledge such feelings. He's about to confront that though. Now that Hermione is gone.

Tiffie101- How much longer? Longer. And who won? Nobody. It was a tie. They both were injured and both were docked equal numbers of house points. Hermione has a lot of guts but truly, Pansy has more practice. Pansy would have kicked her ass.

Rosmerta- Ooohh! You had guesses… were you right? What were they? Hee hee. More fighting to come. Did you like the poison dart bit? Millie's got a bit of a violent streak.

Franflutewitch- Moowahhahahaa! I couldn't wait. And Draco is such a little wanker isn't he? He's somewhat shallow when it comes to girls, of course I imagine somewhere in there he is a little sweet on Pansy, yet not quite taking her seriously. A spoiled brat like him so far can't take anything very much seriously, except the thought that he wishes to postpone his initiation into the Death Eaters.

Kary Sky- Oui. Un petit peu. It's been too long. My Spanish is better. Hope you have, had? A wonderful time in France. Or that I've posted the Yule Ball fast enough for you to enjoy it before your trip!

Sharon- Thank you, I try. I recently lost the expertise of my beta who I believe is submerged in other work. I hope my grammar continues to be precise.

Lyress- here you go as promised! Tell me what you want to happen next. I wonder if I've answered most questions…

Helena- Nope you didn't misunderstand and I certainly don't want to protect that son of a bitch. Therefore we "took him out." Well, Melanie took him out. Thanks and no dildos…ewww. No one would agree to that. It's spontaneous. In the Power of the Innocent it spoke earlier about collection of blood being somewhat easier during the spell, hence… well you'll find out next chapter. Yay! Thanks for your review!

Azulkan27- Yeah, they're insane alright. And here they are, in the middle of the hall exposing themselves to the culmination of all sexual frustrations in a single moment. Carnal indeed.

Falafelgigglehiney- Nope. Hermione can't and won't do that. I'll tell you why soon. Kind of out of character for her not to have the balls to do it. And Neville yes… what a catch. What can I say… opposites do attract!

Jane W- Yeah.. I must admit, that is my longing as well. More angst before that though. You'll see. Hermione is about to find herself in a pickle of trouble.

Alicat99- Thank you for your observation, you helped me figure out what was missing in the scene. I always knew Lucius would be unconscious for the thing. I just didn't know where.


	16. Count Your Blessings

Disclaimer: Alas, still belongs to Rowling last time I checked.

Here we go! The aftermath, or afterglow… whatever.

**Chapter Sixteen: Count Your Blessings**

Voldemort was waiting. And he waited, and waited. After ten minutes he was furious. He could no longer discern the rip. _There would be no surprise attack. The moment had passed._ The leader of the Death Eaters seethed with so much anger he could have spontaneously combusted. But he wasn't into punishing himself.

The snake dismissed his puzzled followers who were patiently awaiting his orders. Voldemort waited for even one of them to speak. His anger was boiling far past manageability and anyone could pay the price for breaking his fragile composure.

_Where was Lucius?_

--------

Everyone scattered as Dumbledore and the other teachers tried to gather the students. Melanie quickly administered the antidote to the unconscious Death Eater and bound him quickly with a binding spell. She held his cane sheathed wand firmly in her hand. The DA was providing necessary backup as Draco was quickly gaining on her, wand out, ready to strike.

Melanie turned on him. "You want to hex me? Your father is fine. He's fine!"

"You filthy traitorous bitch…" Draco spat, but ropes bound him before he could cast, courtesy of Neville Longbottom and Seamus Finnegan.

She knelt over the bound boy and continued her tirade. "I'm a traitor? What about our parents, Draco? If you were a girl, don't you think your father would've sold you out? Hmm? But he tried to kill everyone in the school. Do you even _realize _what he tried to do?" She pointed angrily at the middle of the floor where the metallic device was being contained by the Headmaster and Professor Flitwick.

"That's stupid, Malfoy. Really stupid. I don't know what Pansy sees in you." And she stomped off, dragging his father behind her like a sack of potatoes. Arriving before the professors, she dumped him at Lupin's feet with his cane and ran off quickly, avoiding questions she couldn't answer. She had much more to do.

Draco lay immobile, not struggling, but merely trying to comprehend all that she had said. He looked extremely pale. He saw Pansy there. _And Millicent. Hell, about half of them chanting were Slytherins._ He heard Goyle go on about his adventure with Granger and speculated what they'd ask Malfoy to do when it came his turn to take the mark. Goyle hadn't looked nearly so pumped when he was bragging. The rumors in Slytherin house had flown about who had beaten the shit out him. He was skeptical himself to believe that it was a bunch of girls. Now there wasn't a doubt in his mind. His mind drifted back to the thought of Pansy. _Pansy, the virgin. Shit._

McGonagall called the remaining prefects to escort the students back to their dormitories. Snape looked at the vestiges of the party and noticed two bloody places on the floor where girls had fallen, the small white votives still flickering at the spaces where each girl stood. The lines of the pentacle still glowed a faint blue, but the house elves popped into view, quickly scrubbing out the magical lines. When Winky saw blood on the floor however, she screamed and fainted.

Ron, Harry and Neville were still a bit shaken by their experience. Terry Boot was seated on the floor staring at his wand. Both he and Ron forgot they were prefects. Draco was a bit tied up at the moment.

"Excuse me, Mister Malfoy? Do you think you could get yourself untied and escort your classmates back to the dorms in an orderly fashion? We seem to be short a few prefects this evening," she said tersely to the shell-shocked Slytherin. Seamus took his cue and ended the spell.

Many of the students stayed fixed on their spots, still feeling unable to move since they were first frozen. Some of them were the boyfriends of the casters, and some were still reeling from the unexpected blessings bestowed on them. Snape was one of the latter. Once the students had been herded toward the dorms, Harry and Ron came to their senses and raced to the Headmaster's office. They yelled an tried to get his attention, but there was no polite answer. No lemon drop. The stone guard remained fixed.

"I think they've got enough going on about now don't you think?" Ron said plainly and swallowed hard.

"I can't believe…"

"Me neither. My sister… Hermione… _Daphne_…" Ron was nearly in tears but he was too stunned to cry.

Harry should have felt outrage, but he was still trying to make sense of it. That spell must have been in the making for awhile. _Come to think of it, the rhythmic clapping and toe tapping during class and in the common room had been going on for weeks and weeks._ They managed to get to their feet and stumble back to the common room. "Come on mate. We're not going to get any answers tonight." _Ginny, please be okay…_

"Do you think they're alright?" Ron asked in a worried tone.

"If Hermione set this thing up, you bet they are." But Harry wasn't fully convinced of that.

---------

Deep in the Forbidden Forest, twenty women appeared in a dark cave where the first of many spells were cast in quick succession. The first charms were cast quickly, warming spells on blankets and the cave where they would sleep.

"Lumos!" They yelled.

"Hermione, where in the hell are we?" Millicent asked.

"Shut up and cast," Pansy thrust the spell duties to people and they all began the lengthy warming spells, drying spells, wards. Insect repellant and portable fires lit at each corner, and tables and cots were transfigured immediately for use. They only had a few minutes before their wands were useless, except to alert others to their whereabouts.

"I suspect we have about three minutes…" Luna said, transfiguring rocks into cots and pillows.

"Maybe less for locator spells…" Lisa Turpin added, as she warded the entrance with an invisible barrier to rodents.

Pretty soon the area was lit and filled with beds, tables, candles and the witches.

"Hermione, we are in a _cave_," Pansy bit out through clenched teeth. "_This_ was your big plan?"

Hermione was about to speak when she was interrupted.

"Stop arguing you guys. Do you realize what we just did? We did it." Orla said, patting her sisters on the back. Her eyes shone with tears and wept openly with relief. No one had died and everyone was saved. Hogwarts was saved.

Orla's tears opened the floodgates of overwhelmed thanks, gratitude and relief. Most were shaking from their experience. The women held each other, hugged and embraced. Some sat on their cots and wept or sat motionless, still not comprehending what was achieved.

Luna's timer went off. "That's it, three minutes. No more magic." Everyone slipped their wands under their pillows. Pansy and Hermione slipped their wands into their sleeves for emergency use.

"Hermione? What do I do with this?" asked Laura weakly. She held up her bloody glass vial and passed out. Hermione bent over the young Hufflepuff and retrieved the tube with her robes, careful not to disturb the precious contents contained within. She demonstrated in front of the others how to clean the surrounding tube without spilling any and capped it with a rubber stopper she pulled from her bag. She handed out stoppers to each person but two. Not everyone had agreed but it was alright. It was a little surreal seeing all of her partners, dressed in silk, some with blood staining the snow white fabric, all standing in such a dank cavern. Roberta lifted Laura to the cot and covered her with a blanket.

Hermione opened her bag and began pulling out wool blankets and books, clothing and school supplies. With the help of Daphne and Pansy she pulled out an enormous trunk. Hermione opened the trunk and pulled out Hedwig's cage, along with the very distressed animal. Hermione made calming noises to the squawking owl and fed it a leftover treat from her pocket.

Then she pulled out the wooden box she was looking for. She fingered the simple brass lock and opened it, revealing the sections within. Turning with her back to the others, she reached under her dress for what privacy she could find and removed the small glass vial. She held it up and cleaned it carefully, stunned that such normal looking its contents were so precious.

"It didn't hurt as much as I thought," Pansy said quietly to Hermione.

"Which part?" She let out a snot. "Our hymen spontaneously rupturing or trying to fight the desire? Personally, I think we were all too distracted by our own thoughts to notice." She labeled her own tube and slipped it in the first slot. "Does anyone know who fell first?" Hermione addressed the rest.

There was no answer. It would take time. She slipped in Laura's labeled vial and sat on the edge of her cot. After removing most of the belongings of the other girls, she scooted them under their respective sleeping surfaces. The cave looked fairly orderly, for well— a cave.

Marietta and Hannah were tending to the girls in a manner reminiscent of Madame Pomfrey, offering wet towels for them to wash up. Two of their number were trying as best they could to clean up the blood which had trickled down their legs and dried. The towels were cold from the snow, but would have to do until they could get fresh water.

Ginny, Pansy and Hermione stayed in a huddle at one end of the cave, near the opening. "Wish we had done a silencing charm," Ginny said nervously as they all listened to howling and the sounds of insects.

"So what were you thinking?" Pansy asked Hermione pointedly in a whisper, while the other women slept or pretended to. It was late and everyone was exhausted form their ordeal. But most were too exhausted to sleep.

"The Forbidden Forest is still so…"

"You mean this is the Forbidden Forest? Are you out of your fucking mind?" Pansy hissed. "Things will come eat us!"

"We are technically still on school grounds, and safer here than we would be in the Muggle or other parts of the wizarding world," Hermione attempted to explain her logic.

"Well, 'technically'," Pansy gestured with her hands sarcastically, "I'm still a virgin and yet am holding this bloody tube." She handed it to her with the wax pencil. Hermione rolled her eyes and slipped it between hers and Ginny's, in the second slot of wooden dividers.

_Technically._

Technically— they weren't virgins anymore, but still innocent. Technically— they were women, though many didn't feel like it and most all were minors. Technically— they were fugitives, but had saved the day.

Technically— the school was safe and its other female students protected, but they weren't included yet among this number.

Technically… they really hadn't left the grounds. But they felt far enough away from the safety of the castle halls that they could be in Tibet and it would feel no different. Squirreled away in a deep recess of a cave in the Forbidden Forest, it was certainly cold enough, and Hermione was glad they had over prepared.

"I bet everyone is looking for us. They'll never think to check so close to home." Ginny agreed. She was still looking a bit absently toward the wall, thinking about Harry and how he looked at her. How he looked at her when she blessed him… She closed her eyes and tried to burn his image into her memory.

"Ginny?" Hermione touched her arm. "Are you okay?"

"No. I'm not. But I will be." Ginny rolled over under the covers of her cot and shut her eyes tightly, willing sleep to carry her into the next day safe and sound.

Hermione was restless. She didn't know what to do. She took the portable fire by her bedside with her to the mouth of the cave and sat at the entrance. Pansy joined her.

"How did you do it?"

"Do what?" Hermione asked.

"You lasted way beyond the thirty-six seconds. You looked, just painful… terrible, wonderful… I don't know." Pansy looked at her seriously.

"I could say the same about you. You lasted a long time too. It must have been difficult with Malfoy being so…" she saw the tearful look in Pansy's eyes and decided to stop. "Your song, Fallin'? That was awesome. I thought after that, you may not be able to do anything else. You looked— wiped."

"Thanks a lot," Pansy said sarcastically.

"No, I mean it. You were incredible. You should have seen everyone's faces. Even Malfoy."

"It was all Monica."

"Monica didn't cast that spell." Hermione said seriously.

"No. And you've dodged your question long enough. How did you last so long? You were shaking. I saw you, you were… muttering."

"I was praying. I just kept telling myself, 'It's not real. You can't have that. It's not for you.'" The last phrase was articulate on mere breath. Hermione gasped a sob and bit her lip. She was good until she had to face her own issues. Hermione was good at taking care of everyone else. She wasn't good at handling her own stuff.

"What do you mean 'not for you'? How do you know? Have you even told him?" Pansy asked.

Hermione just curled in her knees and cried heavily into her hands. Pansy rubbed her back and fished a clean handkerchief from her pocket. She left her weeping there. They both needed their privacy. What was becoming very clear is that for the next few weeks, there would be no privacy in the modest living arrangements for twenty women.

-------------

Back in the Headmaster's crowded office sat Remus, Severus, Poppy and Dumbledore. Lucius Malfoy had been turned over, again— to Aurors Tonks and her partner. He would not be handed over to the Ministry. Lucius was currently locked in the dungeons after a look see by Poppy. The fewer questions the better, and Albus didn't quite have a pat story down yet. There were too many students to contain it.

Minerva finally brought in Melanie who had been retrieved from Hermione's room.

"Miss Lawson, would you care to explain a few details to us?" Dumbledore inquired. Melanie approached his large desk and pulled a parchment from her robes, handing it to the Headmaster. She made to turn and leave without a word, but saw only McGonagall's chest and a stern looking Professor Snape, and sat in the offered chair.

Albus Dumbledore gently laid the document before him next to the snowy Granger retreat and looked at her over rectangular spectacles.

"Well. How long has this been going on for?" He prompted.

"Since before I returned, sir. The letter should explain a lot." She didn't know what it contained. Melanie hadn't read it.

"I would prefer to hear it from you, my dear," Albus said somberly.

"There are twenty girls. They formed a group called the SOS."

"The SOS? And what does that stand for?" Minerva asked.

"Save Our Selves."

All of the teachers were thunderstruck. The students had gone out of their way to make sure everyone thought them experienced, promiscuous even. Most of the twenty had steady boyfriends, and were seen frequently in public with them, many caught in closets by McGonagall herself.

"Maybe you should read the letter, Professor. It's really complicated. I'm really just an honorary member…" the Slytherin dodged.

"Oh really? And what are your duties?" Snape inquired dryly.

Melanie looked at her feet. She steeled herself and faced her interrogators. "I came to deliver that letter to you, or execute their wills." Minerva was losing her equanimity at that statement.

"And I have to look after their familiars. They couldn't take them along. Do you think Professor Hagrid could help?" She looked hopeful. Melanie loved Hagrid, any excuse to be around the other exotic animals he kept.

"Yes, I'm sure something could be arranged, Miss Lawson." Melanie stifled a yawn. "You may go, thank you for your help. Though I may call on you again soon."

"Thank you, sir." And she excused herself, relieved she had gotten off so easy. But the air was hanging so thickly in that room it suffocated her, and the Ogden's was about to flow.

Dumbledore broke the wax seal and read quickly, trying to digest the contents of his student's letter.

They were trying to process what had happened and still not getting the full picture.

"If they hadn't performed that spell correctly, they could have all died." The DADA teacher's voice was a whisper.

Snape sat in Dumbledore's office, listening to events retold from Professor Lupin's point of view. Remus had gotten a better look at the book than he did, and made several observations about the magic invoked that evening.

"They cast multiple spells… so complicated. They have to be memorized and said precisely. The result of a poorly cast spell could've resulted in their deaths."

Poppy gasped. Minerva was shocked. She could hardly believe her girls had done such a dangerous thing. At the same time though she was so proud that they would join together to do something so selfless for the school and to continue the war against Voldemort.

"What can you tell us about the spells they cast?" Snape inquired silently, examining the whiskey in his glass.

Remus answered but Dumbledore watched with interest at the carefully asked question from his potions teacher. Snape did not ask things in that tone when he didn't have specific concerns. "They cast the circle of protection first, which effectively borrowed all of the magic within the circle for the purposes of erecting the wards. None of us could move, or cast which was for their protection as well as our own. I expect that after erecting the wards on the castle, they have become able themselves to apparate or disapparate through them— the only exception to the rule. The Great Hall is likely imbued with special magic from that spell and since all of the girls tried hard to make certain everyone was inside the pentacle, I am almost certain that all of us possess some type of protection from it."

A knock could be heard on the door and shouting. Dumbledore had changed his passwords quickly and he hadn't selected a sweet. Dumbledore released the ward and the out of breath duo burst in.

"What happened?" Harry said. They couldn't take it anymore. The boys lasted only five minutes inside the common room where all of their classmates were talking, before they turned and ran back.

"We were just discussing that. But I assume neither of you were told of their plans?" Dumbledore inquired.

"NO!" They shouted simultaneously. "Where did they go?" Harry asked. "Ginny… Hermione…"

"Hermione always said that you couldn't apparate or disapparate from Hogwarts. How did they portkey out of here? I thought all that stuff wasn't supposed to work on school grounds!" Ron was asking the question as much as he was accusing Dumbledore of not protecting his sister and best friend.

"Well that answers that question. Ron, Harry— please sit." Minerva transfigured two chairs for the distraught pair. "None of us knew what they had planned as I am sure you noticed. Incidentally, they left me a note telling me they would be okay, but they will not give us their location at this time for their safety as well as for ours." Lupin, Snape and McGonagall looked on in shock at this revelation. He had not yet shared news of the letter's contents. Dumbledore voice was quiet and begged patience.

"Something happened after they finished doing… wh-whatever it is they did. Ginny… she touched my head and told me…" Harry said, Snape listening to every word.

"Don't say anymore!" Lupin interrupted, his furry eyebrows furrowed sternly. "You must not speak of it. Better that no one knows. Harry, I kind of suspected, but didn't know for sure. You and others who received the blessing received a very special gift. Do not tell anyone what Ginny said to you."

"What do I do with it?" Harry asked, eager for more information. Snape listened closely as well.

"Do nothing. It is a spell of protection, giving you a guardian to help you when you have need. You will know when you can use the magic provided. Only you can call this being into service, and this magic can be used against you if you reveal the name of your guardian. Do you understand?"

"Kind of. I won't discuss it." Harry agreed. "I feel… different. It's strange, I can't explain it."

"Does Ginny love you?" Lupin asked intently.

Harry looked a bit embarrassed at the question, especially in present company. "Yes, though she hasn't said it in so many words. We've talked about things. I thought she might have changed her mind, because she's been avoiding me for almost two weeks."

Ron looked at him in shock. _ Ginny— in love? She's fifteen!_

Lupin laughed a bit. "That's understandable Harry. Don't take it personally."

"Why not?" Ron asked. Harry was in a right state these last two weeks.

"Because Ginny wouldn't have been able to participate in casting the spell if she continued to expose herself to the object of her desire, in the flesh." Lupin explained, hoping they would remember some of their lessons.

The light dawned in Harry's eyes, remembering his and Ginny's previous conversations. He swallowed hard. "I w-wo-wouldn't have…" Harry began to explain.__

"Ah, Harry my boy. Don't misunderstand me. Even though your intentions may be honorable, it would have been difficult for you both to resist the lure. You see, each of the girls had to center themselves on their attraction and feelings toward the object of her desire. That would help them in their preparation for the spell, you see? The strength of the incantation is more effective because it is a public attempt to resist their strongest carnal desires. They increased the potency of the spell by doing this, and if Ginny was avoiding you… it was likely because she was more afraid of what she might do, rather than yourself— and at the same time increasing her desire for you… someone she could not permit herself to have."

Harry turned scarlet. "Oh."

"You said every girl had to do this?" Ron was pink as well. He didn't want to think of his sister that way. _And Hermione. And Daphne. And the other girls… Ugh… Millicent Bulstrode._

Snape's mind was racing. Dumbledore talked with the boys and excused them.

"Harry, Ron. We will do everything in our power to try and locate the missing girls. But they have made it quite clear that they do not wish to be found, so please—no heroics. No plotting, no midnight search parties on brooms and under cloaks or anything else you can devise."

They were grumbling as they left, still grappling with the concept that their friends were gone. That Ginny was gone. Hermione the third of their trio, vanished.

Dumbledore asked the next question. "Did we see which persons received blessings?" he asked the group but his eyes did not waver off of the figure of Professor Snape.

"I did." Lupin said, "Terry, Neville, Ron and Harry, received blessings. I don't know about others."

Snape remained silent and Dumbledore noticed, but allowed him his privacy.

Albus cleared his throat, "Let me read to you now then, the letter which Hermione Granger and Pansy Parkinson left for us.

_Dear Professor Dumbledore,_

_We are very sorry that we had to leave without explaining our actions. I expect a lot of the semester's events have explained themselves in light of what happened this evening. If everything went well, you are reading this letter, instead of twenty painful ones each of us had written to you and our families in the event of failure._

_We did this for us. We did this for Kendra, and we did this for Hogwarts."_

Minerva and Poppy choked a sob into their handkerchiefs._ Those poor girls. _They couldn't have been prouder.__

Dumbledore continued. _" I assure you, that while you may find the age of some of the students who participated shocking, each one of them personally weighed their choice to participate and did not receive any pressure from other members of our group. At any time one of us could have ended it. Even at the last._

_As for the spell, there are three things to keep in mind. First, the Great Hall if at all possible should be the sanctuary of any major attack on Hogwarts. The spell performed protects each person standing inside the casted circle, and that spell of protection is stronger still for each person if they stand within the bounds of the pentacle where it was originally cast._

_Secondly, we have brewed several healing potions for use of Madame Pomfrey and Professor Snape. They can be located in the left drawer at the desk Malfoy and Pansy sit at in the potions lab._

_Thirdly, there is a special incantation, very personal in nature, which has affected only a select group. The purpose of this protects both the receiver and the caster. It is crucial that these persons do not reveal the information passed to them. Several blessings were bestowed on strategic members of the casting circle. If you know who was blessed, please do not make their names common knowledge. The wards are still vulnerable to attack. This is a safety measure to prevent that from being breached._

_We will not be using any magic. So it is pointless for the MOM to trace our wands. If worse comes to worse, either Pansy or I will cast. I am of age and both of us are willing to face consequences of our actions at a hearing. We will not let any harm come to these students. At the first sign of danger, we will return them to Hogwarts immediately. _

_Please do not look for us. We are safe, and planned well for our retreat. When possible, we will submit our coursework until it is safe to return. We have appointed senior members of our group to supervise the younger student's studies. I will bring more news to you when I am able. Make nothing public knowledge until you absolutely have to. The more unknowns to the magical community and to the Death Eaters, the better for us to remain hidden._

_Sincerely,_

_Hermione Granger and Pansy Parkinson (Co-Leaders of SOS)."_ Dumbledore finished a bit choked up. Minerva was sniffing and touching a handkerchief to dab her eyes.

The signatures of the remaining 18 girls lined the bottom of the letter.

"They'll send us their coursework? Does that mean they'll be gone until after the beginning if spring term?"

"It certainly would appear that way, Minerva." Dumbledore sighed.

"Twenty blessings. Merlin." Lupin said in wonderment, his eyes a bit glazed over.

"Not necessarily twenty, she said 'several'. What does it mean?" Snape asked.

"It means, that each virgin blessed another with a Goddess to protect them. Each goddess has a different characteristic power that aids them. I imagine either the girl in question or the recipient of such a gift can call upon the Goddess at will." Dumbledore explained.

"But only once." Lupin added.

"Once?" Minerva asked.

"It is for emergent need only. I suspect since the spell of desire was cast, that the virgin can call upon it by harnessing her own desire when she is in great danger, or if her counterpart is in danger, they could call it as well. And while it is there to serve the person who called it, Goddesses are quite free thinkers, and can and will act independently." Dumbledore explained this as if it was common knowledge. It certainly was to him, he loved mythology.

"Remus, how do you know so much about the spell? I thought you hadn't read so far into the book?" Snape sounded tired, too weary to sound angry enough to strike out at anyone with his usual biting remarks.

"There are smaller ward building spells based on the same concept, just on a much smaller scale. For example, using the blood of one witch… instead of _twenty_? This was totally different."

After a fifteen minute silence and reflection, the teaching staff adjourned to their quarters, trying to come up with what they would tell the students.

------------

Draco Malfoy sat in his room with the door shut, he warded it and eventually cast a silencing charm as his Slytherin peers kept approaching him, banging on his door, demanding answers— the inside scoop from the son of a known Death Eater, and now known terrorist. 

"Nothing will keep him out of Azkaban now," he heard a third year student say.

"Do you think the Dementors will kiss him?"

"No chance, man. His dad's too slick for that."

Not all Slytherins were supporters of Voldemort, though it was foolish to identify any particular political preference. However, all students including himself were more than a little worried about the rift they saw. The security measures of Hogwarts the fortress was the stuff of legend and every student felt safe here, until last night. Actually, that wasn't true. There had obviously been at least twenty-one people who harbored some concerns on that score.

Draco was about to return home tomorrow, well— today. _What would he tell his mother? Did she know all along?_ His father wasn't known for including all of the family in on his decision making. Of course— Voldemort appeared to be calling a lot of the shots these last few years.

" If you were a girl, don't you think your father would've sold you out? Do you even realize what he tried to do?"

Draco wasn't at all sure. As a younger boy he could be a bully to his peers, being raised to believe that he was not only better than most everyone because of blood and breeding but also because of his socioeconomic superiority. He looked up to his father immensely, a tall, handsome leader— involved in all manner of politics. Everyone listened to him, even some other adults appeared to fear him and as a young child, Draco admired him. Lucius Malfoy always had a wink for him, a pat on the back.

Looking back on those childhood moments through the eyes of a young adult, Draco wondered if he had misinterpreted his father's actions. Perhaps other adults weren't afraid of him, they loathed him and what he stood for. Perhaps the Dark Mark wasn't as invisible as he was led to believe, something no one talked about but everyone saw.

All of that pride felt utterly destroyed the end of last year when his father was named a Death Eater at the Department of Ministries. It was quickly hushed up, and he was surprised that such a large story wouldn't spend more than two days in the paper. Soon enough his father was home, but when he returned things weren't the same between them. Draco was embarrassed for himself only at the time, of how it made him and the family name look, but not really absorbing how it was changing his family.

The only time he really got to spend with his father was at family social engagements, and even then his father didn't seem like the father he remembered. The one who taught him how to ski, ride a broom… the one who cheered for him in the stands at Quidditch matches.

Draco waited until everyone was asleep and snuck out of the common room to see the Headmaster. He had not often sought out his counsel. Nor had he really been dragged before him for discipline. Recalling how his father wormed his way through the pending inquiries of last year made Draco wonder if some of those liberties extended to him in some way. He was not exactly a model student. Oh he had excellent grades and other kids did what he said, and he was a prefect. But he had fractured an occasional school rule.

He had no idea the password, but somehow the Headmaster knew of his arrival for the majestic stone bird turned to reveal the staircase. When he arrived it was nearly two am and he saw Professor Snape and Lupin were filing out.

"Mister Malfoy, please have a seat. Would you care for a lemon drop?"

"No, sir," he said more tersely than he had wished. He and his friends had always referred to Professor Dumbledore as an old fool, but the Headmaster was notoriously fair minded and somewhat lenient in certain circumstances. The rumor that he gave preferential treatment to Gryffindors was all talk.

"I apologize, I am quite certain that a confection will not resolve what concerns you at this hour." Dumbledore looked at him thoughtfully as if he were his own family.

"Sir, what happened to my father?" Draco was nervous for the answer, wondering if he would be told anything.

His father always gave him half answers with no real depth. When asking his father about the Death Eaters his father's reply was, _"If you're old enough to ask that question, then you're old enough to serve."_ That shut Draco up.

Dumbledore looked at the boy with kind and sad regard. "Draco, you deserve to hear the truth so I will tell you as much as I am capable." Draco was already surprised at the opportunity for candor. "I am afraid that your father has crossed one too many boundaries with his escapade this evening. He had already had an altercation with the Ministry that had not resulted in the removal of his position from the school governing board and now he has used his position to place the school and its students in danger. I am afraid I have had to detain him myself, for I am not at all confident at this time that he would be properly punished by the Ministry where he undoubtedly has influence. As of yet, I am still trying to discern the purpose of his visit at the Ball, which I am sure had nothing to do with monitoring the school's extracurricular activities as he had purported."

"What was the brass staff and that… space?" Draco said uncertainly. He wanted concrete answers and Draco was well aware of his influence at the Ministry. Draco wanted to know what his father had _done._

"It appears that he used the device to break open a tiny gap where our school's rather impressive wards could be breached."

Draco paled. Rumors were spreading saying as much, but to hear it confirmed by the Headmaster was unsettling. Draco's heart almost stopped as he tried to imagine what would've happened if he had succeeded. _Voldemort, war at Hogwarts… there with all of his classmates._

"Yes. Now you see." The headmaster responded to the boy's unspoken thoughts. "Draco, it is a horrible thing to hear this spoken of a man you must admire and care for. Even though he may not have said it in so many words," Dumbledore was thoughtful, "I know he is very proud of you."

He said this with the sad twinkle in his eye which conveyed that Dumbledore was proud of him as well. His eyes and statements made him seem more knowledgeable about relationships than he was. The truth was, Dumbledore was just incredibly intuitive, a good listener who read people well. He didn't need Legilimency to aid him in that regard.

"What do I tell my mother? Have you talked with her yet?"

"I regret that I have not yet had time to do that. If it is alright with you, I would prefer to wait until morning so that I can speak to her myself. I am sure the Ministry will be here momentarily with questions of their own," he sighed wearily. As all of the surrounding pictures of former Headmasters and Headmistresses snored, and Draco wondered how many a sleepless night Professor Dumbledore had when dealing with these issues.

"Um, that would be alright, sir. Is he alright? He was hit with some dart or something…"

"Quite alright, I assure you. Poppy has evaluated him and determined that the antidote Miss Lawson administered completely reversed the poison contained on the dart."

"And the girls, they… what happened to them?"

"Ah Mister Malfoy, I believe that is where your guess is as good as mine. I was hoping that as a Slytherin prefect you might be able to shed some like on some of your classmates, but I am finding out that this was somewhat of a 'girls only' club. Have you spoken to Melanie or Pansy?"

Draco gulped. "Melanie talked to me afterward. Well, she yelled at me sir, which is why I came to you for answers. Pansy… I was um... _rude_ to her recently and we haven't been speaking." Draco's voice was quiet as he thought about it. Dumbledore's face looked long and sad as he felt the weight of the burden on young Malfoy's shoulders. This young man had a lot on his mind. _I wish I could tell her that I am sorry. _Instead he said, "Can I see my father?"

"Not just yet, Draco. But soon. If you would like, I can have Professor Snape come get you before we move him. Is there anything else you'd like to tell me?"

"No sir. Thank you." His voice was hollow, but he was grateful and left toward the Slytherin common room.

"And Draco?"

"Yes, sir?"

"I am always here, if you have need of me," Dumbledore said in his sincerest voice.

"Thank you, sir."

Severus Snape wasn't far off, having continued his conversation with Remus in the foyer, speculating as to where the girls may have gone. He saw Draco and watched him hang his head, shuffling his once proud feet to the dungeons. Perhaps this would be the opportunity for him to see a different side of things. The younger boys never really comprehended the life of a Death Eater until they were required to serve.

As a child, becoming a Death Eater appeared almost romantic and noble— like a knight, a privilege to be in the company of other influential people. Powerful people. Then when asked to murder others for the cause, torturing Muggles, participation in revels held by members you once called friends, one begins to see another side of humanity best left unknown. Before the new member realizes it, the horror becomes a part of them and they can no longer consider their own actions apart from it. Draco at least had the good sense to be afraid for his future, but had seemingly resigned to joining at his 17th birthday.

Best to let him be, Snape thought as Draco walked off to contemplate his fate.

Snape remembered what Hermione had said about saying no. _Could Draco refuse the mark? And if so, where would he go?_ He thought again about his brief conversation with her in the infirmary_. "He could say no. It's just that there are consequences that come with refusing. You just have to ask yourself if it's worth it."_ Seeing the spell cast in this mind again, he felt a lump in his throat at the first realization that perhaps she was speaking about her own decision to remain celibate instead of his decision to become a Death Eater. _Gods._

Snape was sitting again, in front of his fire holding a snifter of brandy. He lost himself in the swirling liquid, and decided to make use of his Pensieve. He wanted to relive part of the evening, try to look at it more objectively. He pulled the long silvery strands of thought and let them pool into the basin. Prodding them, they began to swirl and he allowed himself to enter the Ball again.

He walked up to Malfoy who was striding toward the middle of the room. Snape noted who the girls were, where they were standing. Glimpsing one of the candles, he saw Melanie fishing in her pocket for the dart. Malfoy pulled the brass stake from his coat and Snape examined it more closely. It was of course, dipped in the Haustum Vigor potion. The end of it was tinged with blood. Everything clicked in place.

_Dark magic. Connecting the object to the School by using a student's blood, and a virgin's at that._ _Hermione— her tissue. _

Goyle retrieved it that night for the tear in the wards. Voldemort of course, knew Hermione was a virgin now. At least Snape wouldn't have to fake knowing, after the public declaration.

He would be called soon. Instead of taking in the entire scene, he focused on Hermione's face. The woman who had blessed him. _Why?_

He heard the familiar Latin phrases, said too quickly for him to catch fully earlier. They were said again now in the familiar rhythm and as he picked up fragments of the incantation, it both aroused and chilled him.

_"Create desire… like a flame…Refuse each calling to the light… _

_Certain and pure, I keep my control…_

_No to passions which tempt me… _

_Build a wall to protect me like no other… _

_…the power of a thousand virgins…_

_The strength of goddesses... _

_We are ready… Challenge us!"_

The light nearly blinded the spectator as it arched toward him. Hermione and the others all appeared like angels, bathed in the glow of their incantations, their faces shone with their own desire. _Hermione appeared relatively focused this term. Who was she focused on?_ He looked right at her and the Pensieve Hermione stared straight through him. He looked behind him, as if he could identify the object of her affection. Her eyes glistened with tears and determination. Sheer nerve.

He stood close enough to hear her distressed mutterings… '_This isn't real. You can't have that. It's not for you.'_

It was difficult to see her again, tremble and fall. It had already happened, but is seemed an invasion to watch her this way again. Each girl had exposed a side of themselves he was sure they'd rather keep private.

Severus watched his other self lean over her, trying to see if she was injured or hurt. She lay beneath him, propped up on one shaky elbow, her face glistening with perspiration, cheeks lined with tears shed from her considerable efforts to refuse whatever desire possessed her.

Bringing her shaky hand up to his face, her thumb brushed his forehead softly as she whispered with round pink lips,

_"Blessings of Gaia be with you Severus…"_

He felt a warmth spread through his limbs again and stared in shock at the concerned face of the woman who had honored him.

Severus felt a renewing of the same powerful magic at that moment. He felt it like a deep ache in the pit of his stomach and spread throughout his being. He didn't feel alone, in fact he wondered if the goddess Gaia herself was with him, waiting to be called. His dark eyes were still locked in the doe brown of his student's, but he didn't see the young stubborn girl any more. Instead, staring back at him were the eyes of a young and beautiful woman, silky white gown clinging to her skin outlining her mature features.

The woman scooted back and kept eye contact, fiddling with something near her neck. Before she disappeared he could hear a 'goodbye' barely spoken above a whisper. Perhaps it was his own voice he heard. He couldn't be sure. She was gone.

The Pensieve discarded him into his empty dungeon. He gripped the workbench to steady himself, retrieving his drink from its spot on the nearby table.

Remembering her potions, he scurried to the desk as if to claim the clue that the girls left behind, a solid object that might remain in his stores signifying a promise to return_. _He opened the left drawer and removed the cloth covering them. There were 9 antidotes and 12 healing potions in all, carefully labeled by Hermione of course. Most of the antidotes were pomades, two of them pastes made from bellflower petals and other rare flowers. There was no note, but in essence that was what he was looking for. His note, his personal explanation addressed to him. Snape had seen Hermione regularly throughout the school year. _Why couldn't she confide in him?_ He of all people would have been useful to approach for advice and help, more so than Remus who he had seen her regularly with.

She had sacrificed everything for their safety this evening. In his mind he could still see the Great Hall, everyone around him was moving again, the murmurs getting louder, but Snape remained stationary for a moment, still adjusting to all of the events that transpired and how changed he felt.

_She knew. All this year. The bellflowers, The Brownheimer Antidote…_ She coordinated this, no doubt with Miss Parkinson. They went out of their way to make sure he thought they weren't candidates for the Dark Lord, and despite the secrecy of the Order, they had known everything— enough to prepare as they saw fit. They had seemed the pivotal members of this group of women who had just publicly shed their virginity in front of the entire school.

The details of the year were visiting him already. _When had he last seen her?_ Last Wednesday night, her last independent study day. And what had he said? _It will still be here, Miss Granger. _She had been giving the potions classroom one last look, finishing as much of the project as she could before she said goodbye. _When was she coming back?_

----------------

Talking to Molly and Arthur Weasley about Ginny fleeing Hogwarts was a lesson in crisis management. Molly was hysterical.

"I knew, I told you this would happen last summer!" she howled, jumping to conclusions before Dumbledore could explain.

It was his decision to tell them first about her disappearance and then elaborate on the spell. _Well, hindsight is 20/20._ The spell in and of itself was complicated enough to explain. Molly always was a formidable woman, does amazing things with a wand… charms, transfiguration. It was a sheer miracle Dumbledore had left the Burrow as a human being and not an amphibian.

At least she changed him back.

It took Arthur's constant attentiveness to his wife and slipping her a calming drought in her tea to get her to a point to listen to the rest of the story. That took a good thirty minutes. After Dumbledore explained, even the calming drought couldn't help the poor woman.

"YOU MEAN SHE LEFT ON PURPOSE! HOW IN MERLIN'S NAME COULD SHE EVEN LEAVE HOGWARTS THROUGH THE WARDS?"

The cursing and profanities about his questionable parentage and mental status ensued until Molly was sobbing. _Her baby. Gone._

He really should have brought Ron with him. And if he did say so himself, it was an incredible piece of magic that. Molly had only some relief realizing that Ginny was not alone and that she and Hermione were together with 18 other girls… Merlin knows where, but they were together.

After that, Dumbledore decided to send owls to the other families, and particularly slow owls to the families of the Slytherin group. He hoped to ensure enough time between the girls departure and the receipt of those letters so that they would be settled into hiding before the search parties and dogs were sent to locate them. He wanted the Death Eaters to be notified at the last possible moment. The twenty girls would become targets.

-----

The dawn crept up through the trees and bathed the dark cave in natural light. There was quite a glare from the reflection of the sunlight off of the snow, it's shiny surface hard from the morning light melting the surface slightly.

Hermione pulled out a cauldron and motioned for others to join her. They needed to collect snow to melt and boil for drinking and washing. She found it hard to stand and her bones ached wickedly. She popped her back and hips.

"Oi, Hermione! How old did you say you were?" Millie teased.

"Ha, ha. Very funny. Ha, ha, it is to laugh," she said dryly. "Remind me never to use rocks as objects to transfigure into beds."

She pulled the first rations from her all-purpose luggage. Pastries, fruit and pumpkin juice were offered courtesy of Dobby. But she would've killed for a decent cup of coffee.

Dobby was kind enough not to remain and ask questions. Hermione suspected he might be pressed to give information of his own about their whereabouts, but Dobby was sworn to secrecy.

"So how long do we have to stay here?" Susan asked.

"Three weeks at least," Pansy replied. "Don't ask why. Suffice it to say that the wards still have a potential to be broken if we return too soon."

Many of the girls looked discouraged, still hoping they could return to a normal life before Christmas.

"I miss my family," Emma admitted tearfully. Felicia and Laura put their arms around her shoulders in a sisterly embrace.

"We do too," Natalie said.

"But for now, we're all the family you'll need!" Millie said, and everyone laughed. It was hard to imagine her converting from Millie, Mistress of Desire to big sister.

Hermione sorted out the rest of the vials and ordered them. She pulled out a large pot of prepared cream. The last ingredient the healing pomade would need is a drops of their blood. It would be the strongest healing balm yet. _Hopefully, we won't need to use it_. She put in a drop of each girls blood and mixed it with a clean glass rod. It turned pink as the blood interacted with the white substance and then changed to an odd pale blue. She replaced the cap and shut the box of blood for future use. She needed to hide it somewhere safe and knew what she'd do with it.

So far, everything seemed to be going well. The animals outside came by the mouth of the cave sensing something amiss, but unable to cross the barrier Lisa had erected. Most of the girls played Checkers, Chess or read books they had packed. Hermione knew three weeks was a long time and fervently hoped they didn't run out of things to do. Sooner or later, everyone would go stir crazy.

Pansy sat reading the Power of the Innocent, regretfully the only literature she'd brought with her besides her school books. It was fascinating enough. She read the smaller ward breaking spells they hadn't performed and yet other potions that could be made. She came across one spell, whereby an object could be used to break wards, creating a tiny opening by enchanting an object and anointing it with the blood and tissue of a virgin.

"SHIT!" Pansy looked around, because she had everyone's attention. "Sorry." Pansy looked down embarrassed. "This is good," she added. Everyone turned back to their books and games, but Hermione did not. _'Good' didn't quite capture it._ Hermione was immediately sitting on the side of Pansy's bed. "Not here," Pansy whispered, and she inclined her head toward the mouth of the cave. They threw on jumpers and heavy cloaks and exited the mouth of the cave taking a little walk, mindful of any creatures which might be lurking.

"What was that all about?" Hermione asked.

"I think the Dark Lord has his own copy of this book." Pansy handed her the book, opened to the page she was reading.

Hermione read quickly, "Oh God. Shit. That's why…"

"I bet Goyle didn't even know what he was doing. He's too thick to comprehend that."

"But what's this, the Haustum Vigor?"

"That's what I was trying to figure out. That's no normal potion. Look." Pansy pointed, but Hermione already knew.

Snape had brewed it and she inhaled some of the fumes. She said nothing, still trying to put it all together. _He wouldn't have. He didn't know_. Snape was surprised in the infirmary, he didn't know what Goyle had done. Severus had protected her in the classroom, he didn't want to cause her any harm.

"Well," Hermione said. "There's nothing we can do now, except find out what else You-Know-Who knows if he has that book. We need to know what else he is capable of."

"Well, I bet he didn't know that we were doing that ward erecting spell at the same time Malfoy was trying to break in. I don't want to imagine what would have happened if we hadn't cast exactly when we did." Pansy shuddered. _Armageddon._

Hermione didn't either. They went back to the cave, determined to finish the rest of the book, torture methodology and all.

-----------

After an uneasy breakfast, most of the students had left on the train home to their families, though many decided to stay behind. In particular, Harry, Ron, Neville, Draco, Terry and several others waited if only for the opportunity to see if their paramours would return. _Surely, they would come here first?_

With the fall term over, the staff had nothing else of importance to concern themselves with other than the missing students. Dumbledore was certainly getting a lot of pressure from the Ministry, but a reaction to change the current government of the school would be a mistake and Fudge knew it. Those girls needed a safe place to go, and even though Dumbledore was in the dark, they had managed to convince Fudge that the members of SOS would trust Dumbledore for help before the Ministry. Certainly Fudge's appointment of Umbridge seriously called into question his ability to choose someone suitable for the job.

They had been gone nearly two days, and there had been no word, except for a scroll left for Dumbledore. They had read it several times, trying to find any hidden meanings. Each of the girls dormitories had been overturned, looking for clues about their disappearance. The Ministry was tracking any magic performed by their wands, but no magic had been practiced. They had covered their tracks well.

The last thing the Headmaster of Hogwarts expected was that his impenetrable school, protected with apparition barriers and prevention of portkey travel, had been so easily breached by twenty school age girls. They had finally deduced that since they were the ones that cast the spell renewing the school's wards, the loophole existed that they could pass through them.

"Twenty women, all over 14. Ginny, Hermione and Pansy, Millicent and Lisa at the five points." Remus shook his scraggly head. "They did so many things with a single spell… but I am still trying to figure out all of the nuances of it. They could've killed themselves. Amazing. Bloody amazing." Lupin shook his head, still mystified by the outcome.

"Hedwig is missing, we can assume they may use Harry's owl to contact us at some point," Minerva added hopefully.

"That's just speculation, Minerva. We have no way of knowing how long they'll be gone," Snape droned. He was finding no comfort in Remus' comments. They had been over and over the same information multiple times with no new ideas.

"They can't stay away from Hogwarts too long… how will they live? Especially without magic. These are all young women, and while I have confidence in some of their abilities to tough it out, I have a problems in believing that all twenty will be able to remain secluded," Poppy said.

"Perhaps…" Dumbledore said. "But there are several witches among them born in the Muggle world, I imagine they'll have little difficulty improvising."

He dismissed them but Lupin and Snape remained glued to their seats. They sat, unmoving not speaking. It was the Christmas break and everyone had left except for a few students.

Ron and Harry were leaving for the Burrow for a few days. Molly Weasley was in quite a state, but after they explained again what happened, she was relieved and proud of her daughter, who she knew was at least in the clear from being used for You-Know-Who's purposes. The danger had not quite passed though, and so she'd have to wait before her daughter and friend were returned safely. Ron and Harry were still pretty hot that Ginny and Hermione kept them in the dark about something which had been in the works since summer.

"It makes a bit more sense now," Harry said.

"How exactly does it make any sense?" Ron said angrily. "Hermione and Ginny and 18 other girls sacrificed their virginity in front of the _entire_ school, _portkeyed_out of the supposed Hogwarts fortress," he said with disdain, "are Merlin knows where, doing whatever the heck they do when we're not around. How is this making sense?"

"Ron, I mean all the things this term. The rumors about how promiscuous certain girls were. I mean didn't you wonder why Daphne turned you down after you found out she liked you?"

"Well, yeah. But now we're dating…"

"And Hermione, we knew she wasn't seeing anyone, but there were rumors of her sleeping with no less than three different guys…"

"I can't believe I fell for that."

"Yes, Ron. You _overreacted_." Harry rolled his eyes. "We all did. Fell for it hook, line, and sinker." He laughed uncomfortably.

"They got us pretty good huh? Reckon they're alright?" Ron asked, the worry returning to his face.

"They know how to take care of themselves. I bet they have a contingency plan for everything. Especially with Hermione there."

"She'd mad you know. Mad. She and Ginny both." Ron shook his head, whistled and twirled his finger around his temple.

---------

After evaluation of the circumstances, Dumbledore felt it was in the best interests of everyone to let Lucius Malfoy go. He and the rest of the staff were not happy. If he tried to prosecute him for trying to break the wards, then all anyone would remember was that they were breached, that Hogwarts was no longer safe. Or that Dumbledore deliberately sacrificed the lives of twenty young female students for the sake of the school, or that he didn't know what was happening in his own school. _Painfully,_ he had to admit_, the latter was true. _

The students would be withdrawn from school and he would be ousted. Or others would try to break the wards, especially after the brass staff treated with the Haustum Vigor and Hermione's blood was produced into evidence. Poppy had tested it, and indeed confirmed the blood and tissue found on the staff was Miss Granger's. Dumbledore would not risk the publication of the method used to break the wards.

No memory modification was necessary as Lucius was out for the spell casting, and soon enough the Daily Prophet would eventually post the names of the missing.

Dumbledore sighed. It was the best he could do to have Malfoy tailed by Snape. Of course Severus, with his obvious skill, suggested death by poisoning. He was quite serious. It would be painless, though alternate arrangements could be made. Regrettably, Dumbledore vetoed the idea and Severus was left with nothing but his thoughts.

At least he wouldn't have to repeat the conversation he'd had with Molly about Ginny, with Narcissa about Lucius.

----------

Christmas came for Ron and Harry, who elected to stay at Hogwarts if only for the desperate hope that St. Nicolas would deliver back their friends in their stockings. There was no such luck, and despite presents under the tree from families and friends they would have traded all of it for word on the girls. Just some kind of confirmation that they were alright. Harry had used the Marauder's Map to see if they were hiding somewhere in the castle, but no luck there. They used location spells to no avail and Ron and Harry couldn't seem to come up with a rescue plan.

Harry had gone to Dumbledore to suggest some Muggle methods of detection, the police, contacting her friends to see if she'd turn to them for help. He had dashed Harry's hopes, saying that if the police found her it might be possible that the wrong people would be notified of her whereabouts first.

He and Ron were depressed. They held hot chocolate Dobby brought them, and held the mugs absently, not drinking.

"Right about now Hermione would be asking us to sing Christmas carols," said Harry.

"Yeah, and Ginny would be making popovers with Mum." Ron sniffed. "You think they're alright, Harry?" Ron asked for the umpteenth time.

"Yeah Ron. I bet they're having some hot chocolate right now." Harry reassured Ron and himself, not believing it was true. Of course this had been Dobby's second delivery, so in actually they were sharing a cuppa, just five miles away.

They started only slightly at the knock on their door, when the Fat Lady's portrait opened, they were surprise to see the face of Melanie Lawson, SOS Special Emissary. Their first thought was, _a Slytherin has the password to our common room._

"Happy Christmas! Special delivery for you I think, but if you want to focus on your hot chocolate…" she playfully turned to leave the depressed pair.

"Oh no, no, no! Come in. We're sorry," Harry shot Ron a scolding look. They had obviously not given her the warmest welcome.

Melanie felt a little like Santa Claus bringing toys and goodies in her book bag. She pulled out a pair of gifts each for Ron and Harry and they were much happier to see to four notes she pulled out. "Hey where's Neville?"

"He's gone to see his family. He should be back later this week." Neville had left to his grandmothers, for his visit to see his parents at St. Mungo's.

"Oh. Well, I'll save his then," she said pocketing the gift wrapped in green paper.

"Would you like to stay and have a hot chocolate?" Harry offered politely, but truly wanting to tear into his letter.

"Wow, you're nicer than I'd have been in your shoes. Thanks, but I have other deliveries. See you." Melanie left happy, and wondered if this is was owls felt like when they delivered birthday presents.

Ron and Harry read quickly and then again more slowly, savoring every word. Ginny's letter to Harry, explained a great deal and Harry nearly had to scramble for privacy for his blushing. She had professed her love for him, in a moment of her strongest emotions. She had obviously been wrestling with a lot of feelings, and Harry found his doubts prior to the Ball were completely unfounded.

Hermione's letter to them both had been more apologetic and tactful, showing that she also had been under a lot of stress, though she hid it well. _"I am so sorry we kept so much from you, but trust me when I say it couldn't be helped. There is so much I want to tell you, and yet so much I still can't say. I'm sure Dumbledore told you not to look for us, and I can't stress that enough. Don't. For our safety, don't look for us. We'll come back when we can. We love and miss you. Hermione." _

It infuriated them to no end that they wouldn't tell them when they were returning. But it was comfort enough that they would and that they were safe. The letters were dated, and Harry and Ron knew that they were written before the trip out. Finally after their third read through, they opened their packages. Ginny gave Ron a charmed box to hold unlimited collectible Chocolate Frog Cards. Ron had an impressive collection, and Luna was teaching her the more complicated charms. She gave Harry potions. He looked closely and was puzzled at such an unromantic gift and then saw her card.

_"Harry, I made these for you from the book we've been using regarding virgin spell casting and potion making. These are healing potions made from flowers I picked and my own blood (don't be too grossed out, they are really potent). I wonder if my love for you will make them any stronger than potions made by any other witch. Use them well. Love, Ginny."_

Hermione as always was practical. She gave them both a copy of _Advanced Charms in Defensive Magic: from Antiquity to Now. _Her enclosed card was, _"Now don't get all huffy that I got you a book! Luna does incredible things with her wand and some of the stuff in this is wicked cool. I think you should have Lupin and Flitwick do a presentation for DADA. Incidentally, the book helped Ginny make Ron's Christmas present. When Luna returns ask her to show you the spinning wand thing on page 387. You won't believe it. Hermione."_

They turned to the recommended page and were immediately jazzed about the new opportunities for learning.

-------------------

She dreamed of him nightly. She suspected the dreams of her peers were also laced with the vivid memories of the spell casting as well as the images of the object of their desire. It was a crowded cave and many girls spent time talking about their love interests, boyfriends and the like. Hermione couldn't bring herself to utter one painful word about it. She would close her eyes at night and he'd be there with her, whispering reassurances in her ear. _"It will still be here."_ It was torture having him kiss her neck and awaken physical responses in her she wanted to suppress. It was cruel, and many nights she woke up in tears. _What could she do about her feelings? Nothing._ There would be no heartfelt interaction, no outpouring of emotion. No reconciliation of the Ball's events.

She could only send one thing. One personal gift, the significance of which she hoped would not be lost on Severus.

In the early morning hours, Hermione snuck out with Hedwig and her present. "Don't show anyone where we are okay? Deliver this to Professor Snape in his quarters, and absolutely _not_ in public." Hegwid hooted understanding. He was as intelligent as familiars came.

She watched him fly off with her gift, and wished she could have sent a letter containing other thoughts instead of the rather proper one she did. _Happy Christmas, Severus. We're okay. I'm still okay. _

Hermione was safe, and so were the other girls. Everyone at Hogwarts was safe. She was warm, had food to eat and a place to sleep. She thanked God for these things and counted her blessings_. _She went back inside the shelter and crawled back in her warm bed for more sleep.

-------------------

It had not been a week since they left and Christmas had come silently. It was a beautiful snowy day, full of clear blue grey sky.

Snape sat alone on his bed where he had not slept soundly for the past three evenings. He had been over and over minute details, trying to ascertain the possible whereabouts of eight of his students from his own House as well as the others. Most of their parents had been very irate with him, insisting that he of all people should "know his own house." What had they expected? Bug all of their rooms? Spy on them? Not even their classmates knew, and their parents hadn't made it very safe for them to turn to their kind and protective families for advice.

Snape suspected they had stayed together, safety in numbers… or perhaps they had split up? At least in small groups? He had really worn his rug ragged as he paced back and forth weighing possibilities. His morning headache was interrupted by a pecking at the window. Annoyed at the interruption as much as acknowledging an impasse in his brainstorming he flung open the window angrily. The owl ruffled his feathers and dropped the heavy burden on the dungeon floor, swooping out quickly with an irate hoot. He made a wide arc to avoid the unpleasant addressee.

Snape ripped open the box to let off some steam, and looked blankly at the copies of his now published work complete with the letter and receipt of deposit to his Gringotts account for his work. He discarded it aside, a bit upset that he could not feel the slightest bit of excitement about something so seemingly inconsequential in the grand scheme of things today.

He scribbled a quick note and shipped off two copies to Katie Renou, the note shorter than it would have been under different circumstances.

After his owl left, yet another flew at his window.

"What do you want…" But his eyes widened when he recognized the snowy white owl so admired by the students. _This was Harry's owl._

Hedwig was carrying a heavy box and when he laid it gently on Snape's desk. "Not so fast," Snape grabbed the feet of the angry animal. "Where are they?" he said with malice, but stupid really trying to get the bird to talk. Hedwig squawked loudly and pecked his hand until he bled and let go with a curse. Snape raced to the window to see where it flew, but Hedwig didn't leave the grounds, merely flying to the owlery.

Snape huffed and returned to the box, intriguing really. Plain, simple. No markings. He touched the brass latch and his name appeared in writing on the box lid. "Welcome, Professor Snape." He wondered what it would've read if he wasn't Severus Snape. He lifted the lid and his mouth fell open as he picked up the letter he had been waiting for.

_December 25_

_Dear Professor Snape,_

_Merry Christmas to you. I am sending you something very important. Tell no one of its existence. None of the other members know that I have sent it, so keep this a secret. Many suspect you to be a Death Eater and I have not corrected them on this count. Before you get upset, if anyone other than you had retrieved this box it would've made a howler look like a sweet valentine. No worries._

_I could not bear the thought of performing such a spell without obtaining some more tangible and lasting benefit. Eighteen of the girls participated in collecting their own blood and I ask that you hide it well, so this blood can be used later, for the good of the war and to prepare some of the most powerful healing potions ever brewed. _

Snape paled as he looked below at the carefully labeled and ordered vials. They were in the order of most potent to least, in the order that the girls fell. He lost his usual detached composure. _She trusted him. With this_. _With her blood. With all of it._ Beyond priceless, the blood inside was dangerous in enormous magnitude and she had sent it to him, the Death eater to protect it. He was speechless.

_I give this to you with the understanding that you will never, under any circumstances, use these blood samples for dark magic. _

'I would never.'

_I know a man in your position must be asked to do quite a few questionable things for the Dark Lord. I want you to know that I am not upset about your assignments over the year. I know you were preparing the list and we did what we had to do to make sure it was inaccurate as possible. We hardly expected You-Know-Who to find another way around matters. _

_By the way, the brass staff of Lucius' with the Haustum Vigor and what I suspect was my blood was a spell we just read about in the Power of the Innocent. It's pretty ironic to me that Voldemort was using spells from the same text to break a hole in the wards we were trying to erect. Scary. We're looking for others he might use, so far— nothing. _

'Gods, what she must think of him brewing the potion. Did she know?'

__

_You may be puzzled about the Brownheimer Antidote, so permit your insufferable know-it-all a moment to show off. I spied the assignment on your desk and researched it before class. See the stone?_

He smirked and looked in one of the slots next to the vials and picked up the blue tinged pumice stone. Some of the dye deposited itself on his hands and he dropped it.

_Don't give me too much credit. It was in the Power of the Innocent. The dye is absorbed into the stone without affecting the potion. Incidentally, I was wondering if that method would work to the same effect in other potions. Just a thought._

'So that's how they did it. Clever._'_ Even he hadn't known about it. Than again, they had stolen the book before he had his chance.

_Lastly, I am sorry that I lied to you. That is really what I had wanted to tell you that day in the infirmary. _

'You're sorry? Bugger all, you saved us. You're forgiven, damn it.'

_Don't worry. We'll be home as soon as the danger passes. We are all fine here. If anything I miss besides the familiar walls of Hogwarts, I miss coffee and a good lecture. For now, I must look back on happy memories there and the progress we made on the Veritaserum. For everything that happened this term, the independent study made it bearable. Thank you for that. _

_Have a Happy Christmas._

_Hermione_

Severus sat in his chair for forty minutes, trying to settle into what had been told to him. She had happy memories of their time together.

_'For everything that happened this term, the independent study made it bearable. Thank you for that.' _

She had confided in him. She had apologized. Hermione had wanted to tell him before. And in the end she blessed him. _Have a Happy Christmas. _Having good wishes passed to him was pleasing that it didn't often happen except from people like Minerva and Albus. He could almost try to have a better holiday than usual, with the exception that now his scar burned ferociously.

That kind of put a damper on good feelings. Snape had some explaining to do, and he had clearly been kept out of the loop on a good many things. It had been four days since the incantation and three days since Lucius was returned to his home. He had no way of contacting Voldemort and really it was only a matter of time before he was called.

He threw on clothes and his cloak, mask in hand if needed and left to the gates. He didn't relish the idea of sharing Christmas with the Dark Lord, but one does what one must.__

-----------

**Author's Notes:**

I had to stop somewhere! More on Draco soon. I hope this answered a lot of your questions. I'm sorry I wasn't more clear on the spell earlier. I was hoping the quotes at the beginning of the last chapter could offer more explanation of what the spell looked like and the spontaneous loss of virginal blood without an object to contribute to it. The vial just collected blood, it wasn't the cause of breaking the hymen.

So many thanks for you lovely reviewers! You have provided much needed encouragement and have been especially thankful for your urgings to write original fiction. That is indeed my intention at some point. Again as always click below to leave flames, suggestions, criticisms or praise! J Y'all keep me on my toes.

e- You only had to wait a couple a days for this. Hope to update soon. Let me know what you want to see happen next!

Kat6528- Thank you thank you! Keep on reading.

Javen Green- Thanks! Here's the new chapter.

SimplyScribbling- Thank you and only a few letters were delivered. The girls are undercover. Can't wait to write more about the girls cabin fever.

Kary Sky- Yay! Internet access. I am jealous of your locale. My favorite vacation ever was driving up with my husband (before our marriage) up to Montreal and Quebec City. So beautiful up there. Truly. I love that glass blowing place by the Funiculaire. Hey, good luck with your fic. I advise you to post it one chapter at a time so that you can receive plenty of feedback as you go. I posted too much of the Burden of Sight all at once. I can't wait to read your stuff.

Levans- And yup, the spell took their virginity as a sacrifice to erect the wards, using their combined virginal power. Sound like a joke, where can you hide twenty virgins? How do you hide an elephant in a cherry tree? Paint his toenails red and body green. Have you ever seen an elephant in a bathtub? That's another good hiding place.

Wackoramaco87- Did I actually say "I'll never be back?" Let me look, you made me look twice. Smile I think she thought in response to Snape's "It will still be here,"— _Yeah, but I won't. _And many people got a special spell/blessing.

MxSRose- Thank you so much. I hope the descriptions improve. I'm going to need to spend some more time developing certain scenes coming up, that will be somewhat dialogue free. I'll let you chew on that though for awhile.

Pallas Athena1- Thank you for the high praise. I promise to update as often as I can. This story will probably take 5-10 more chapters to complete.

Piglet1- Your welcome! Here's the next chapter!

Maxy- Hooray! Thank you fellow goddess! You'll get to see more of Snape and Hermione interactions… sometime. Will update soon.

Athena Linborn- Thank you, and I can identify with the work concentration thing. I've been writing on my lunch hour when I can.

Althea Gray- Thanks and Dumbledore isn't so pissed now that he has answers. Especially now that no one died and they all could have. Thank you for your review!

Romm- Nope. Forbidden Forest. But hey they were forbidden before, and that didn't stop them. What's to prevent them from breaking one more school rule? Haha a convent wouldn't be cool. Too many sexual thoughts flying about the cave. And Draco won't report now, except to wonder what he's gonna do when his 17th birthday arrives. Hope your other questions got answered. More soon!

Steph2bwld- Thanks for the translation reference, I had one that translates a word at a time so I'm sure the conjugations would not be right. I'm sure many reviewers may have actually been smarter, taking Latin in school rather than my French class(didn't do me any good in Texas, mind you). I left the spell in English because I didn't want to butcher it to death. Good observation of Neville. He's chickpea just waiting to emerge from his shell. I imagine Arthur Weasley the same as a boy. Hide in plain sight and they cant find you… you know I didn't even think of it that way, but I guess you're right. Here's the bunny. Thank you. Thank you, thank you for your review!

LilThuggin420- Thanks! Had to have a good girl fight. The calligraphy and firewhisky is a long way away still. More adventures to be had.

Midnightrider- Thank you! Are you happy now? J

Crissy-  What do you mean, was that the end?! Hey! That was a long ass chapter! Here's part two! Thanks for your review!

Franflutewitch- You are so right about the Dobb-ster. Don't know about early, but I'll try to post often. Glad you liked the spell. Sisters, united, will never be defeated. Thanks for your review!

Alicat99-  Snape had no way to be hard on her because it's too late for lecture, she's gone. And it's paining him to recognize what he's lost. It is slowly dawning on him though. Thanks for your review!

Reddy Cool! Thank you. I feel the same way when I read other fics. I'm flattered by your hockey analogy, alas I did not understand one word of it. It's all about the Astros and Rockets in Houston (baseball and basketball). The Aeros are… hockey wannabes. Melanie was left to deal with the aftermath, but she's a survivor—she can handle it, hard to believe she's still only 14. And whoops, Millie did slip her the Antidote after the darts for her to administer. Shucks. Thanks for your feedback about Snape, he's such a deep character to write. I love it! More soon.

Bertie Bott Thank you for your review, though late… you are forgiven! The button is always there for you though! What do you want to se happen next?

Saturngurl123 - Six OMG's and 5 pleases! That's exactly the response I was hoping for. Thanks! Grin Here's the next chapter! 

MA- Sorry I didn't go into more about Minerva's reaction. I think they are more proud and shocked than anything. Minerva's probably pretty sad about their deception and her treatment of them. Of course the girls had deliberately invited criticism and judgment. I love your questions, and I hope this chapter answers most of them. The students gossip and tell stories about the spell but the teachers don't explain it. Dumbledore's hope is for as much misinformation to spread as possible, not wanting an accurate account to get out too soon.

Tiffie101- Thanks! And of course I wouldn't cliffie you without the spell, I've been dying to write about it! Here's the aftermath.

Lyress- I wonder if people find the music cheesy, but I love music (currently listening to Janet Jackson and Anguun). The B-52's rock (lobsta' oooh ahh)! You're close on the disappearing… more later. I'd love for Snape to be safe, but he's far from it. As for Slytherin epiphanies, Draco is no saint but he is looking back on certain details. In front of Dumbledore, I think he's finally beginning to be properly remorseful for his behavior toward Pansy. Draco, Harry, and Ron? Nah… can't picture it yet. Thank you so much for your enthusiastic feedback.

Raindrops on Roses Thanks for your review, Better late than never! The button below is calling you… what do you want to see happen next?

Keket Amunet- Sorry about the quote placement, I thought it was a good set up for the spell chapter. Hrmm, maybe I should've put them in the middle. Thanks for your feedback! Hope the next chapter doesn't disappoint!

Redlady 27 Thanks! Girls rule! At least I always thought so.

WytilYes we do. And unfortunately ol' Tom is too smart to allow himself to come to injury from the Haustum Vigor. Damn. And the girls they left Scotland to go to Scotland. Well five miles from where they were. Teehee. And traceable? Not easily.

Min Hee Hey there! Thank for the review. I wrote the poem myself, an excerpt of the longer full length one in the earlier part of the fic. I'll try to update once a week if I can.

CorrieThanks! And here's the continuation.

Falafelgigglehiney- Thanks Katherine! I still love your penname. Hee! I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and now am working up to future intense moments. J

Amsev - Thanks I'm glad you liked the quotes, they were meant to tie in. I love it that Kore formed words like carnal. What a trip.

Skylar Thank you so much! High praise, however I might recommend WendyNat's Cloak of Courage and Dark Ecstasy by Chantal. And maybe about a million others. Um, they have still not ever had sex. So technically, yes they are virgins but not really. Innocent yes, hymen no. Eeek, probably no sequel. Thanks!

Ahiwai Hurray, and I promise not to kill all twenty. That would be horrible. Millie still cool. Now she's the big sister. Mother hen. Haha. Wild.

Alarase You are correct! Thanks for your review. Thoughts, ideas? What do you want to see happen next?

Ezmerelda- Thank you so much for sticking with me, your feedback has been helpful and I look forward to reading your reviews. Hermione was able to stick it out in part because she could not believe that Severus will ever accept her affections, it is too far fetched to be considered. I love the part with Fiona too, I think he's going to be tempted to use that Pensieve a bit more often. He does get a letter this chapter, though the ones for her will hopefully will not have to be read ever. As for Lucius' arrest, pity that. And I love Hermione's blessing of Severus too, I bet the memory of her touch will remain longer than the Goddess.

Celtic Words- Thank you, I hope it continues to be suspenseful!

What's their name- Thank you! I'll try to post once a week.

Cinnamon- Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful feedback, I'm not sure if it was all deserved but I was touched by your comments and read them to my husband. He has been encouraging me for some time to write my own stuff but I haven't yet. Harry and Ron are the type to plot a search party, but they've been put off it. It'll take a bit more for them to push forward. You have Harry pegged. He is stunned that this all happened without his knowledge or help. And regarding Snape, something is changing about him and about the way he's looking at things. That was a main focus of this chapter. Everyone's views are changing about themselves and others.

And I thought the Forest locale was obvious, since Hermione scouted it out when she was followed by the dove and trying to work with Hagrid to have an excuse to go. I hope I answered your question about the tissue that Goyle got as well as the Haustum Vigor. Luna rocks, but there is likely only a little more of her. Thanks again for your lengthy feedback, it is always appreciated. 

Michelline- Thanks! I'm glad. I am always hoping it will read as funny or original. I'm always worried it might sound flat or unconvincing. I write boring scripted progress notes during the day, so this is a welcome chance to crack my knuckles and write something totally different.

Tigress12- Hope you like the aftermath. Lucius had to be freed for future plot needs. And he's such a bastard, we have to have our enemies don't we?

Rosmerta- Millie kicks ass doesn't she? Thank you for your feedback. Our ladies aren't out of the woods yet. Har Har.

Azulkan2- Ooh… goody. Goosebumps! I've been writing that chapter in bits from the beginning. I'm not sure it quite turned out the way I intended, but close enough. What I'm really excited about in this chapter is the development of Draco's character. He has a lot to answer for when or if Pansy returns.

Jade- Lucius sure has been had, hadn't he. And here is the aftermath.

Poeetry Chic- Thank you! Any suggestions for what you want to see happen next?

GeekGoddess- Hey! Didn't want to give it all away. The blessings will come into play later, though some of it is explained here.


	17. Many Happy Returns

Disclaimer:  As always, everything belongs to the great Goddess of Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling.  Yadda. Yadda.

Hey y'all!  Here's another chapter.  I must slow down the pace though.  Sorry about the earlier mistake.  Hedwig is indeed a girl, a she.  Owl Goddess.

**Chapter Seventeen:  Many Happy Returns**

Snape apparated immediately to where he was called. 

It was Christmas morning at the Malfoy estate, one of several retreats actually.  The manor in question was the one used most frequently for 'entertainment' purposes.  The irony was not lost on Snape as Lucius was the one providing the entertainment for Lord Voldemort.

The great hall was covered with expensive imported Grecian marble, with large creamy white columns that extended upward to a four story ceiling.  An enormous, gaudy chandelier hung over head.  It's lead crystal refracted the red and green of the multitude of seasonal decorations which dripped from the curved staircase, walls and 30 foot Christmas tree in the grand foyer.  Lucius did always enjoy exploiting the abundance of his wealth.  His family may have likely not even visited here on the holiday season, yet it was decorated without fail every year.

It was just like Voldemort to parade the torment of an individual in such a public display.  The former shell of a proud and elegant man was strapped to a common wooden school chair, bound at the waist, feet and arms.  A tangle of almost silver hair hung around his handsome features, now contorted from pain and exhaustion.  He face was bloody just a bit, a mere shadow of the damage he held on the inside no doubt.

Lucius was worn out and had been for some time.  Severus was beginning to get worried.  If the Dark Lord tired of Lucius for a plaything, maybe he would focus his attentions elsewhere.

Voldemort spun on Severus' entrance into the room and Snape knelt immediately in humble obedience.

"Get up my servant," Voldemort snapped.

"Yes, my Lord.  I have been waiting."  Severus wanted to say more, but bit his tongue.  _Why hadn't he been summoned earlier?  How much did Voldemort know?_

"What have you to tell me of this?"

"My Lord, I suppose you are inquiring about the night of the Yule Ball.  Why didn't you tell me of Lucius' plan?"

"You fool!  CRUCIO!"

Severus slumped to the ground in agony, but knew better than to cry out, it just made the pain worse, and made him appear weak.  That weakness just egged the snake on.

"It was _MY_ plan!  And it should have worked!  You needed _no_ foreknowledge. It was important for you to remain ignorant so that no one would suspect, you would be surprised and your cover could remain in place until the appropriate time…"

_Your plan, right— so sorry.  Fuck semantics_!  "So you planned an full scale attack on Hogwarts,"  Snape offered in mock awe.

"Yesss."  His cold voice grew more snakelike and venomous with each passing word.  That was a good sign.  It usually meant that he was receptive to talking. "Tell me…"

"I will tell you all I can, My Lord.  Lucius couldn't tell you much because twenty girls orchestrated a careful spell of their own, right under our noses."  Snape began, trying to be careful how he phrased things.  Crucio rang out though his flesh, screaming though his nerve endings.  He never got used to it.  He bit back the pain in his knees which were in contact with the marble floor, the cold was seeping into his bones.  Snape got to his feet.  _Don't show weakness._

"Hmmm.  So Dumbledore was none the wiser?"  Voldemort seemed amused.  Snape attempted to still the involuntary spasms left over from the curse.

"Yes, it would seem so, he was surprised _most _of all."  Voldemort let out an appreciative huff and Snape continued.  "It seems I erred in my confidence regarding the Brownheimer Antidote.  There apparently was a way around it that I was unaware of." 

Tom Riddle already knew, and waited for his servant's explanation.  "Do go on."

"Pansy and some of the other Slytherin girls were quite unhappy at their fathers offering them to you so they organized a club to overthrow their exploitation.  They stole a dark text from Professor Lupin some time ago, and until recently I was unaware of its contents.  In that book was the method for disguising their virginity and many girls apparently passed out pumice stones to sabotage the results.  The twenty students sacrificed their virginity to erect powerful wards on the day of the Yule Ball."

Voldemort was getting very angry.  He knew he was in trouble at the mention of the book.  His face darkened and his chin bent low, his eyes slits of fierce hatred.  The words were clipped and harshly bit out.  "Go on.  How did they do it." Questions were always statements with the Dark Lord.  _Tell me, now._

"When Lucius came into the room the girls were already in position.  It was the end of the Ball, and one of the prefects had asked him to speak as the school governor.  Lucius pulled the brass staff from his robes and imbedded it into the floor.  Dumbledore and several others immediately began to cast spells but all of the magic was absorbed by the force of another spell simultaneously cast by the twenty virgins.  They lit candles, cast a pentacle and said some kind of spell of desire.  I understood only some of the words, but they rendered everyone in the pentacle unable to move.  Millicent Bulstrode touched Melanie Lawson to release her from the bonds of her immobility and she put a dart in Lucius.  He was unconscious, and she dragged him to the outside of the circle.  He was comatose for the duration of the spell, he was unaware of anything that happened after the pentacle being cast."

"So Malfoy was telling the truth."  Veritaserum, Crucio and several dark spells had worked to no effect.  "I thought perhaps a Memory Charm.  Ah, well."

_Ah, well._  Voldemort passed off his mistake like spilling a glass of pumpkin juice_. He nearly tortures a man to death and it's_ '_ah well'.  _Snape hoped that he wouldn't anger the coiled snake.  "They fell one by one and I haven't felt anything like that.  The wards raised, powerful ones, and I could see the tiny rift in the wards Lucius had made.  But I could only watch.  Each girl fell, some screamed, some dropped.  The rift was sealed fully when the last girl fell.  Then afterward they portkeyed out and we do not know where they have gone."  Severus felt a stirring within him he tried to suppress.  He had omitted certain details and the Goddess in him felt anger at his betrayal of the events.  His betrayal of Hermione.  She wasn't quiet getting the full picture, and he was worried about the consequences.  Lupin and Dumbledore said Goddesses can act of their own accord.  She must have settled from his inner monologue, because he found a relaxed place.

"Come sit.  We have much to discuss."  Voldemort beckoned him and they sat in the parlor, a rather formal, stiff French style with tufted chairs and chintz.  The contrast between the décor and the house guests was alarming.  This was a sitting parlor for tea, or a fine port shared among dinner guests. 

They poured glasses of Firewhiskey instead and drank.  Snape was very careful to take anything offered to him by another but he had no choice.  He had watched Voldemort pour and to his own eyes he had seen nothing slipped in to taint it.  But eyes can lie.

Thankfully the Dark Lord broke the silence.  "Severus, I have much to share with you.  I have read an interesting dark text.  It intrigued me, I shall have to show it to you sometime."  He swirled the amber liquid in the glass but did not partake.  "I strongly suspect that it is the same manuscript liberated from the werewolf's possession, and find it a bit unfortunate that particular tome was taken.  It is terribly rare, but his family is old.  I should have suspected as much.  The book speaks of many ward breaking and ward erecting spells, namely with use of virgins primarily as a means to achieve all.  It is called the _Power of the Innocent_.  Had he spoken of it to you?"

"Yes.  It has been a topic of discussion quite a bit since the spell casting."  Snape said as little as he could and tried to tell the truth, even though it was measured.

"The Haustum Vigor was used on the staff with blood procured from Hermione Granger.  She was one of the twenty was she not?"

"Yes, she was."  Snape said with no trace of emotion.  He had to keep his feelings in check.

"And I wondered how she had managed to heal herself from that particularly nasty stab to her abdomen.  It must have been very painful."  Voldemort said this with pleasure, and Snape remained calm. 

Inwardly he was cursing the bastard.  _She could have died_. 

"She must have used virginal magic.  The book does have a number of benefits where healing is concerned. Did they _bleed_?"  Voldemort sucked in a breath tasting the air.  He enjoyed blood.

"Bleed?"  Snape inquired.

"During the incantation.  Was there blood remaining _where they stood_?"  Voldemort asked licking his lips in excitement.

"There was blood on the floor that the house elves cleaned up immediately.  I didn't have time to test it.  What did the spell _do_ to them?"  Snape was genuinely curious as to what insight Voldemort could offer.  He was an incredibly bright wizard and when he discussed scholarly pursuits and magic, he never disappointed.

"That is the beauty of it.  I had two brought to me to see if I could collect or remove virginal blood, of course it is notoriously difficult to gather.  Imperio does not work and objects are useless, needles, lust potions ruin the innocence part of it.  Intriguing really."

_How Melanie and Kendra must have suffered.  And Kendra was still missing_.  He suspected her dead a long while ago, girls didn't last in places like this.  _Look at Malfoy. It had only been two days._

Voldemort continued.  "The spell they cast called for desire to tempt them.  They must focus their strongest carnal yearnings on _one_ person only and tempt themselves to the point of sheer insanity.  It is not easy, and they all could have died if they failed.  Incidentally, who lasted the longest?"  His mouth curved into a frightening smile.

"Miss Lawson held a stopwatch to time them.  Miss Granger was the last to fall."  He had asked and Snape could not refuse, though he loathed to admit the details. He would find out, but Snape did not yet know why it was important.

"That insufferable Gryffindor?  She's as bright as they come, Mudblood though she may be."  Voldemort mused.  "A strong one."

Snape regretted his slip about her insufferable nature at Lucius' home some time ago.  It gave him an excuse to insult a Muggleborn in front of the others and make a show in front of Lucius.  She had placed Draco out of top grades at the school.  They were both gifted students, but Lucius wanted perfection.  Pity that Malfoy frequently missed the point of the more important things.  If Draco had been his son, he would've been properly proud of the boy.  The behavior of some other student would not detract from it.

"Severus, you may find this bit amusing.  The virgin's maidenhead is ruptured spontaneously during the spell."

"Spontaneously?"

"It _explodes_."  The Dark Lord over enunciated the words with grim satisfaction as he watched Severus' expression turn dark. 

Snape was recollecting again the events of the evening.  Of Hermione's face when she fell, her noiseless cry.  She could barely recover when she tried to lean on her arm.  The expression of determination, sweat, anguish, and pain on her face explained itself more clearly in that moment.  Somewhere in his mind he knew what had transpired, but hadn't put it into words.  _Gods._

Voldemort let out a laugh.  It was long and sinister and Severus didn't like the feeling of it at all.  "The old fool must be crazed with worry about his students.  Does he even know why they ran?"

"They sent him a letter saying they needed to stay away for their safety and the safety of Hogwarts."  Snape said plainly.  "What do you have in mind?"  He grinned awaiting instructions, doing the best he could to don the Death Eater persona.

"The wards will fall and we will get through.  There are two ways.  One, we kill all of the twenty witches.  But that may prove to be difficult, especially if they have scattered.  The second will require some research."

"How may I be of service?"  Severus bowed his head slightly in respect, swallowing the bile which threatened his throat..

"The second is easier to execute, but may prove more difficult.  Who were the last three to fall?"

Snape knew and could not lie in sitting so close to the Legilimens.  "Hermione Granger, Pansy Parkinson and Ginny Weasley.  What an unexpected trio."

"Indeed.  Well, well.  All we have to do is find out who the objects of their desire are and execute one of them.  It does not matter who.  The wards will fall like a house of cards."

----------------

Hermione spent Christmas singing carols with her sisters, all drinking hot chocolate and chatting like they had been friends for years.  Something happened that day in her Common Room and again during  the spell.  They were close in a way she could not describe, bound together.  Her eyes connected with Pansy who was smiling broadly and saw she was thinking the same thing.

There were no presents.  No church services.  No family, all were homesick but for now it was as Millie had said.  They were all the family they needed now.

Hermione said the rosary and lit candles for all of them and her family, for Harry, Ron, and Snape.  She could pray in thanks to God who had made this possible, and for God who was still protecting them.  Just eighteen days to go.

Later that evening she and Pansy were reading their halves of the book— kind of depressing pastime, but there was naught much else to do.  Hermione knew there was trouble when Pansy sat up on her cot, a look of horror on her face.

"What is it?"  Hermione hissed.

"Grab Ginny."  Pansy stood and grabbed a cloak and walked out the front of the cave into the dark midnight.  Hermione followed and gestured to the red head, also suitably troubled at the dark expression of worry that lined the older girl's face.  Hermione and Ginny carried portable fires with them to offer light in the scariest of places.

"What is it?"  Ginny inquired.  Pansy's face looked eerie as it was illuminated by the flickering light in the glass jar.

"We are in deep trouble.  Look at this."  In the dark, Hermione could barely make the words out.

"Consummate… I thought we didn't have to lose our virginities!  We read!  We did."

"Hermione, not all twenty of us— just us three," Pansy said.

Hermione paled, but no one took notice without the light to make it plain. She strained her eyes to read.

"What do you mean 'just us three'?  What's so special about us?"  The younger Gryffindor asked crisply.

"We were the last ones standing.  The strongest.  We have to consummate…"  Pansy took a breath in recognition of the difficulties for her on this point.  "We have to have sex with the object of our desire."  _Draco you bastard.  Damn you._

_Bloody hell._  Hermione's brain wasn't working fast enough.  She trembled and not from bitter cold.  Tears froze in place on her face, the air in front of her misted white in her ragged breathing.

"I know."  Pansy shook her head regrettably.  "I'm so fucking sorry we didn't read this thing cover to cover."

Ginny just sat there, not moving.  She wasn't ready to advance her relationship with Harry but they had nearly bordered on everything else, so the thought wasn't unappealing especially since the Ball.  "It's not so bad," she tried to cheer up the others.

"Maybe not for you,"  Pansy and Hermione said in unison.  They looked at each other and Ginny stood up instantaneously from her seat, a look of terror on her face.

Ginny spoke reflexively, the first thing she could think of. 

"ATHENA!" She shouted and the goddess sprang before them, a great barrier between the trio and the predators.

Their mutterings and lights had attracted the attention of night creatures, and a pack of wolves were leaping toward them.  They hit the white barrier of Athena's brilliant aura and she drew her bow to fire.  The wolves scattered to the trees, but many fell, limping into the night to die elsewhere.  Hermione, Pansy, and Ginny cowered behind the white wall of power, her heavenly robes billowing outward as if there was a strong wind.   All other creatures vanished as well for the group did not hear so much as a cricket or snapping twigs for the remainder of the evening. 

When the creatures had disappeared from view, Athena, Goddess of War, turned to the ladies behind her.

"Be well, my daughters,"  Athena said, regarding her young charge affectionately before she vanished.

Their mouths gaped open a bit before coming to their senses.  Hermione, Pansy, and Ginny ran into the cave, barely able to squeeze in for the spectators.

"Wow,"  Linda said in awe.

"So that's how it works," said Susan.

"Did you see her?  She was beautiful,"  Sally Ann observed.

Hermione spoke first. "I don't want us using that just whenever.  We should do the best we can to save the opportunity to call the Goddesses within us when we have the greatest need."

"Thanks a lot, Hermione!  I was saving your bloody neck!"  Ginny blurted out.

"That's not what I meant.  I wasn't criticizing you, it's just…" Hermione was interrupted by Pansy.

"Now you don't have your Goddess to call on anymore.  You're not as safe as you were before."  Her voice was hollow.  She was unprotected.

Ginny was beginning to feel pretty empty.

"We'll protect you,"  Millie added and put a protective arm around her, unhappy that they had destroyed the light mood of Christmas.  But Pansy didn't want to mince words.  They were in danger, now more than ever.

----------------------

Snape returned to Hogwarts, feeling low and ready to drink heavily.  He had given all twenty names, and recoiled inwardly when Voldemort had asked him about their dates to the Ball.  Thankfully Hermione and Pansy went unescorted and he managed to avoid the fact they were the entertainment.  Voldemort had assigned him the task of discovering their paramours.  Ginny was easy, she had escorted Harry, and it was obvious to everyone their affection for each other.  Voldemort wasn't about to go after him first. 

So it was Pansy or Hermione.

Voldemort had tasked Severus with the chore of returning Lucius home to Narcissa and Draco.  Lucius was in horrible pain, and it took a great deal of doing to calm his wife down, still fuzzy on the aspects of his disappearance.  It appeared Draco hadn't fully filled her in.  Severus provided several sleeping and healing potions to keep him comfortable, but it would be a long time before Lucius regained his strength.  _Served him right_.  Draco was unusually distant, and he made note of it.  The boy showed no interest in his father's condition, but looked disgusted at what he saw. 

_Yes, boy.  Voldemort did this._   If he could be trusted, perhaps he could keep details of the evening secret.  Snape had not mentioned the blessings and that could be his downfall.  If discovered, he would be murdered for the omission.

As he entered through the front doors of the school, he realized his mistake.  It was the holidays and only a few students were left.  Ron and Harry of course, decided that midnight was the perfect time to go tearing through the Great Hall.

Snape followed the pair, ready to dock house points just for bringing his headache on.  "Mister Potter and Mister Weasley!  Twenty house points from Gryffindor for each…"

"NOT NOW!"  Harry yelled back, still running to Dumbledore's office.  The stone entry way opened and he and Ron ran in, out of breath.  Severus followed them up, losing his patience rapidly.

"Ginny's in danger!"  Harry's hands were on his knees, doubled over from running.  He had everyone's attention, as Dumbledore looked at his with a fearsome expression.

"How do you know?  Has she contacted you?"  Dumbledore asked urgently, knowing better than to doubt the boy's sincerity.

Snape was at rapt attention as well, fearing for Voldemort's previous conversation about ward breaking.

"Kind of.  She called her Goddess.  I _felt_ it."  Harry's voice was pleading.  "Please!  We have to look for her."

Ron nodded mutely, worried that his sister might have met a horrible fate.

"I appreciate how you must feel,"  Snape began to everyone's surprise.  "But you are not for certain that any harm has come to her."  Harry spun to face him, a bit angry and shocked at his statement.  "The Goddess is powerful is she not?"

He nodded, trying to follow his train of thought.  "So I suspect that Miss Weasley may have been protected from any danger that faced her."

"What if Vol-  I mean You-Know-Who, "  Harry corrected after the flash in Snape's eyes.  "…got to them?"  Ron was still nodding, unable to articulate any theories of mortal peril about his own sister.

"I know for a fact that he _hasn't_.  Go to bed."  Snape's words were final and the Headmaster regarded the spy with an arched eyebrow of his own.

"But we need to find them, my sister…"  Ron began.

"And where do you suggest we look, Mister Weasley?"  His question met flat faces.  "I thought not."  Snape dismissed them tersely and shut the door behind them.

He twirled abruptly and sat in a slump near the decanter of whisky and poured himself and Dumbledore a glass.

"I'm going to need that, am I?" Dumbledore asked.

Severus shot him a dead look_.  Yes,  you are._

"How bad is it?"  The Headmaster asked, knowing the answer.

"Bad.  He has found a way to break the wards.  Either kill them all or kill one of the objects of desire.  Actually kill one of three objects of desire, namely Miss Weasley's, Miss Parkinson's, or Miss Granger's." 

This was going to be a long night.  _Happy Bloody Christmas.  _Severus drained his first double and poured another.

---------------------

Hermione sat wide awake after the altercation.  Pansy was awake too but neither spoke.  Both were thinking the same thing.  _How can I?  It's not possible!_

The Gryffindor could barely cry any more tears for the Potions Master or so she thought.  The vision of a gruesome death for him dominated her thoughts and she cried without meaning to.  She rolled over on the too firm cot and sobbed into an uncomforting pillow.

Soon Pansy was sitting on the edge of her bed.  She leaned down, "We're pretty screwed aren't we?"

"Uh-huh," she sniffed.  She sat up and looked at Pansy.  "You _can _though.  Don't give me that look, I know he's a jerk and all, but at least he's _available_.  He doesn't strike me as the guy who'll say no."

Pansy scoffed.  "I wouldn't."  _But she would._  She was already thinking about it, and hated herself for it.  "What are you going to do, little chicken shit?"

"I…"  Hermione swallowed.  She looked away. 

Pansy was disturbed by this.  _How bad could it be?_  "Hermione, you know you can talk to me.  I won't tell."

"Actually no one knows so I'm safer that way.  _He's _safer that way.  It'll never happen."  Hermione's voice was a choked whisper.

"What do you mean _never_?  You _love _him!  That's why you stood at one of the five points…wait a second.  That's why you lasted so long."  Hermione looked at her as if she'd solved the puzzle, worried for her guess.  "He doesn't know does he?  You never told him.  That's it.  He's not been tempting you at all with dates or awkward moments or anything like the others."

She nodded.  "It really, truly… isn't possible.  No matter how badly I want it to be."  Hermione's tears streaked down her cheeks and Pansy leaned in.

"What are you going to do?"  Pansy asked and Hermione rolled away from her.  She would say no more, but Pansy could guess.  She respected her privacy and retired for bed herself, in pain for her sister, but thankful a bit more in her circumstance that she had a bit more wriggle room than Hermione.

--------------------

A week went by and no word.  The Daily Prophet had finally manage to ferret out some of the details complete with a list of the missing girls.  _Thank you for painting targets all over them,_ Snape thought dryly.  It was only a matter of time before everyone knew however.   How the tales of Hogwarts mass virgin sacrifice managed to be kept under wraps past Christmas was beyond him.  Dumbledore was already being bombarded with howlers and put them into a box to have them explode out of earshot.  The Ministry was breathing down their necks but no word on the girls.  They would have to wait like everyone else. 

"The Floos were being watched," the Minister had said and Snape snorted.  _As if they would be so stupid._  Fudge was trying to make a show of doing something he could tell the public.  _Rubbish._

Every day was painful as Severus waited for his mark to burn.  Hopefully he would wait until after the start of the spring term to call on him.  He could hardly do research on the objects of their affection if there were no students.  The remaining students were looking sullen as ever as each new day dashed their hopes of a quick return.

Only one more week of break and then school.  Severus spent most of the time in his quarters contemplating the unsolvable mystery of their whereabouts.  Ginny and Harry shared a relationship together.  _Would he know if Hermione used the power of her Goddess?_  When he had been interrogated by the Dark Lord, Gaia had been fearful of his loyalties.  He must have seemed divided to her, as he spoke of Hermione.  Gaia knew who had invoked the spell— the witch who had called her.

_Why was he worth protecting?_  Foolish Gryffindor.

She told no one the whole year of her plans, and yet came twice weekly to do research.  The same girl who knelt and prayed in the cathedral, the same owner of the sultry voice which had captivated him at the Ball.  _Fiona._

_What else had she been hiding?_  Harry and Ron told Dumbledore of no one she had been seeing and he'd thought it outrageous that the last known person she'd been seen with was the Ravenclaw boy back in August.  Every peck on the window had been an alert, but Snape stopped jumping.  His unique Christmas present was the only one he was likely to receive.  He hadn't even told Dumbledore, though he probably should've.  Ron and Harry discussed the presents they received but they were prepared before their departure.  He felt flattered to receive one written the day of Christmas.  _Where had she been?  What was she thinking?_  Hedwig had proved unhelpful, refusing to deliver any letters.  He circled the sky overhead and dropped the parcel on Severus' head.

He heard a rap on his door which stirred him from his musings.  "Enter."

Dumbledore greeted him.  "Severus, you've been holding out on me!  Congratulations on your new book!  You should have mentioned something and we could have celebrated properly."  The old man waved the large tome as if it were light and held a fine case of wine under his left arm.

Severus allowed himself a smile.  "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yes, yes.  You deserve it."  Dumbledore scooted the case of Merlot on one of the tables.  "The penmanship is exquisite.  I saw the artist's note in the back.  You hired someone for this?  Wherever did you find someone?" 

"Thought you'd like that.  It is beautiful though.  I haven't really had a chance to admire it lately with present concerns as they are."  Severus said sadly, returning to his melancholy state.

"Yes, there is that.  But come with me, you have some people who wish to see you."

_Oh no.  What did you do you meddlesome old fool?  _

Dumbledore half-dragged Snape out of the dungeons to the Great Hall where the staff were lined up with their own personal copies purchased from Flourish and Blotts that very morning.

There was a big easel out front with his name in an over-embellished flourish with the title of his book _Revitalizing Potions for the Modern Age_.  He was instantly reminded of a revolting image of one self-absorbed Gilderoy Lockhart.

"Professor Snape, I believe you'll be needing a quill for the Book Signing party,"  he said with a twinkle and Snape couldn't suppress a look of pride form on his cheeks as everyone clapped and whistled.

Remus and Minerva stood in front, both looking happier than he'd seen them in awhile.  Everyone was oohing and ahhing as he scribbled polite comments about his peers.  He really should be celebrating.  Wine was poured and the students trailed in with interest, peering over the shoulders of the other teachers as he signed.  He really wanted to show the students that there was so much more to their professors than mere classes at Hogwarts, though most standing before him now knew that already. 

Minerva and Remus shouted out their ideas and conversed with him freely about the subject of potions.  Minerva had kept up as best she could, but Transfigurations really suited her.  To his surprise Neville Longbottom posed some excellent questions about conservation which pleased Professor Sprout.  The one student he would've like to have seen and heard from wasn't present and he was painfully aware of her absence. 

_Why hadn't he shared more on his unpublished work during their research?  It was wholly relevant.  Too late._  _Well, as soon as she returns we can continue the research and I'll give her a copy._

-------------------

The girls were running out of things to do.  There was a lot of bickering over little things.  For instance, Natalie's CD player, a shared item, finally had run out of batteries. 

They ventured out a little ways from the cave in small groups.  During daylight, the forest was beautiful and few animals were out in this cold weather.  Even bowtruckles were scarce.  Susan and Sally Ann wandered downhill a half a mile, finding a stream that by some miracle hadn't frozen over. 

_No more snow.  _

They used a large pitcher from the cave and retuned with large amounts of water, though it took many trips to fill a cauldron.  When the water was heated and cooled, each of them took turns having their first decent bath in a week and a half.  It wasn't like a shower, but it wasn't a frozen rag of melted snow, either.

The multiple trips to the spring were worth it.  All were willing to put in the work if it meant being clean. The ritual took all day, so for the future they'd have to schedule baths. After all were clean, someone mentioned shampoo and that was all that was needed.  Hermione had brought some and shared with everyone.  Everyone took turns and they washed each other's hair, weird though it was, but thankful for the first day to be clean.

For lack of anything else they began school early.  Luna taught charms, even for the advanced students, using sticks to approximate complex wand movements.  She used diagrams to show the complex physics of the arcs of wand waving, surprisingly lecturing in a way many could understand. 

"Luna, I telling you that's not right!"  Millie howled.

"You know what, Millie?"  Luna said quietly.  "Maybe you should all start calling me Professor Lovegood and you'd stop talking back in class."

Everybody died laughing, they'd been bickering for twenty minutes.  Luna raised her hands to pipe them down.

"Miss Bulstrode," Luna used a deeper voice reminiscent of the snarky potions master.  The girls smiled at her imitation.  "There is always, more than one way to do things.  What are the wand movements for Alohamora?"

Millie laughed. "Swish and flick, that's easy."

"So easy is it, Miss Bulstrode?  If you would be so kind to stand before the class and _demonstrate_."  Luna snickered halfway through and couldn't keep up her impression.  But she did have their attention.

Millie got to her feet, stood in front of the cave and did her 'Alohamora' spell with the harmless branch.  The students looked and saw, mouths twitched in recognition.

"Now swish and flick, Millie," asked Luna.

"I thought I just did that…"  Millie did as she was told and the difference was subtle but remarkable.

Millie still didn't see.  She was performing for the class.  "Thank you for showing the class, now they will show you.  Class stand up."  All stood.  "Wands out.  Ready… Alohamora."

Millie's jaw dropped seeing nine different varieties of the spell but sure that all of them would have achieved the same result.

"Every witch or wizard is different and over the course of your life you have developed nuances of your wand waving which make your casting unique.  Special.  Only yours.  It doesn't mean the spell is any less effective, and the strength of the spell comes from your inner magical strength, and also I think your self-confidence as a person.  I bet even squibs could learn to perform better if their gifts weren't belittled so much."

Some girls beamed, they had siblings who were less magically inclined than they were.

"No way!"  Linda shouted.  "Squibs can't do magic!"  Susan bones frowned.

"Only because our parents and society told us they can't.  Aren't there some other things you can think of where our beloved Ministry ideals might be wrong?"  Luna asked.

"Equal rights for magical creatures, house elves, centaurs, and giants!"  Hermione shouted out.

"Pureblood magic is no stronger than Mud- I mean than a Muggleborns,"  Millie said, elbowing Hermione with a wink.

Several heads turned, it looked like it could've been a war.  That question was still up for debate and studies were still being done.  Daphne saw this and settled it quickly.  "That's still being explored, but with all of the unknowns, confidence and so forth… it could be true."

"What about no divorce in wizarding marriages?" offered a meek Orla, a nervous tick appeared on her face.  She had felt her illness had changed the Quirke family irrevocably.  Truthfully, when she was recovering, Orla was just at home more often to see what had been happening all along— the dissolving of her parents' twenty-year marriage.

Other students nodded, many of their own families imprisoned in strained, strange relationships for the obligation of showing a united front to the wizarding community.  Hermione felt grateful that her our parents loved each other so much, but then— unlike many wizarding unions, their marriage wasn't arranged.

Luna picked a bad time to break up the tension with more lighthearted commentary.  Really, Hermione thought, it was the best class they'd had until Luna mentioned the plight of the Crumple-Horned Snorkaks.  _Ah, well._

Hermione taught potions, offering various specimens from the forests she gathered for identification.  Unfortunately that offered the first opportunity for the first aid kit, when her skin reacted with the oils on a leaf she procured. 

"I can't believe you got poison oak in the middle of winter!"  Pansy howled.  Everyone was snickering and they had needed a good laugh.  Hermione managed to laugh at herself like she had in Hogsmeade.  Then her thoughts strayed again to Severus.  The students noticed her distraction.  She'd been troubled a lot lately.

"Hey you!"  Ginny snapped her fingers.  "Class remember?"

Hermione continued and explained about scarcity of potions ingredients.  They couldn't brew much and she hadn't brought much with her.  Maybe Dobby could help with that.

Dobby had diligently brought food every morning, afternoon and evening.  Hermione had saved quite a bit over the course of two weeks to ration out in case he couldn't return.  She made a list of things to ask him privately to bring from her quarters while they were still vacant for the holiday.

--------------

Snape dreamed and thought on his book.  His thoughts drifted to the swirls of ink, the fine parchment under his hand.  He could discern the subtle irregularities of the fibers.  He saw the page full of lists of chemical interactions.  And sat up.  _That was it._

He ran to fetch her letter and box and brought them to the laboratory.  It was far fetched, like something out of a Muggle movie.  He was pulling at straws.  The swabbed both items and slipped the device into a vial for testing.  After preparing several vials, he scrawled out a quick note to a colleague who had access to Muggle equipment, in the forensics department of Scotland Yard, no less.  He had asked for the results immediately and sent his favor by owl.

In the morning, he was feeling foolish and embarrassed at his frantic sleep induced idea.  It had seemed good at the time, but perhaps he had sent his friend on a wild goose chase.  _But it could yield something useful._  A clue, anything uncommon.  A chemical, a rare grain of sand found only in certain parts of the world, anything to narrow the search from _The Globe._

It was the first day of the Spring Term an he was in an ugly mood to the first students of the day.  It was Gryffindor/Slytherin Advanced Potions. He could barely stand to look at the woefully dwindling student population.  No Pansy.  No Millicent.  No Lisa.  _No Hermione._

The students stared at him waiting for class to begin, Harry looking especially down seeing Hermione's empty chair.  Draco looking at Pansy's beside him.

_Bugger all. _ Snape gave menacing look in fully dressed splendor, slamming his fingers down on his desk.  "I want no less than ten feet on the uses of bat's wing and fruit flies in modern potionmaking by next class.  Get.  Out.  Class Dismissed."  Snape turned and fled to his private den where no student would dare bother him.  No one else could bear them being gone an neither would he.

The other classes weren't easier, and he couldn't just dismiss them all.  The younger students were missing too, and he caught a fair amount of whispering amongst the students about the missing women.  "Why haven't they come back yet?"

Ron and Harry were particularly distraught, trying to focus more fervently than ever on taking good notes now that Hermione wasn't there to make up for it.   They could at least return the favor.  When they spied Melanie, they cornered her before class.

She had been waiting for the confrontation, and was amazed they had waited so long.

"I know you know something.  When are they coming back?"  Harry was almost angry, his voice low and serious.

Ron piped up, "Come on,  Melanie.  We have to know.  Surely they would come back by school?"

"I didn't get to come back in time for school, Ron Weasley."  Melanie said darkly, eyeing the pair.

He blushed, kicking himself for forgetting her kidnapping.

Melanie sighed.  "It will be soon.  But I don't know exactly when.  I have every confidence that they are fine.  Okay?"  She looked at Harry and he nodded.  "If it makes you feel any better, they were beside themselves that they couldn't tell you, but I promise it was for the good of everyone.  You'll have answers soon."  Ron looked at her like she knew more than she was letting on and became hot again.   "Don't give me that look!  I don't know much, and they left me out of a lot of details on purpose for the reason that they knew I'd be left behind.  There's nothing else to tell, I swear."

"Thanks, Melanie.  You promise it won't be long?"  Harry asked quietly.

She nodded and the pair left her to go to class.  The exchange was not missed by Remus and Severus who had been in the hallway at a distance.  Melanie slumped against the wall until she caught their eye, then straightened briskly and left for Charms.

"That young lady has had a lot on her shoulders,"  Remus observed.

"She seems to have recovered well from her ordeal in spite of the horror.  I think the spell and her responsibilities have helped her in that regard.  She's only fourteen.  A child, but carries herself now like Minerva at times."  Severus thought out loud.

"She'll be better still when the others return I'd wager.  I know I will.  It's odd the vacancies in the classes.  Teaching had been difficult.  The DA members are all preoccupied with the loss of nearly a third of their female members so I have only a few volunteers for answers,"  Lupin admitted.

"Classes are slow and tedious."  Snape agreed.

Remus sighed.  The day had been grueling.  "I hope Melanie is right.  They need to be back soon, if only to give me peace of mind."

------------------

Draco hadn't said much to anyone this term.  His Christmas break was too long and Lucius had grilled him about the details of the ball, the crucial points he missed. He was beyond furious, however didn't have the strength to curse Draco.  _Thank Merlin for that._  To see the loathing in his father's eyes for what the girls did disturbed him.  His father took pleasure in seeing others suffer and it was more than his superior attitude.

_'I can't believe eight Slytherins.  It would have been a noble sacrifice,'_ he'd said. 

_A noble sacrifice.  Noble?  _That fathers would sacrifice their daughter's to Voldemort?  Lucius didn't once ask about Melanie and Draco hadn't mentioned that she'd been the one to throw the dart that laid out the bastard cold.

Draco couldn't get to Hogwarts fast enough, and he had argued with mother about coming a day early.  He was already planning his apology to the girl he had wronged.  But then in class, she hadn't come.  She wasn't there.  Draco had no concentration for studies.  He had learned many other students had stayed behind to wait for their safe return.  He would have to wait.

He did garner up enough courage to apologize to Melanie though, and perhaps she knew something about Pansy.

"What do you want?"  Melanie bit out.

"Um.  I wanted to… apologize.  I was wrong that day at the Ball.  About a lot of things.  I'm sorry for what I said."  Draco stammered, but serious.

"And what was that?"  Melanie drew out the painful apology out as long as she could, believing it to be insincere.

"I'm sorry I called you a filthy traitorous bitch.  You're no traitor."  Draco caught the slip and Melanie near hit him.  "Geez!  You know what I mean… You're not any of those things!"  Melanie had her wand out.  Draco didn't draw his at all and looked at her.  "Melanie,  I am very sorry about what happened to you.  I was really thick, you know?  You have to admit, a lot of things escaped most of the boys attention this year.  You had us all in the dark."

Melanie smiled a bit.  A tiny bit.  "Yeah, we did didn't we?"

Draco nodded.  Maybe he was forgiven, or it was a beginning.  "I've been thinking a lot about Pansy… and the others," he added.  "Do you know when they'll be back?"  he asked as innocently as he could.

Melanie wasn't about to bite.  "They'll be back when it's safe," she said crisply.  "Later, Malfoy."  She left briskly to her next class.

Draco sat in reflection as he ate, paying attention to snippets of conversations he could hear around him.  Lots of murmuring about virgin sacrifice, half translations of the spell they chanted.  But he also was beginning to notice the ugly looks he earned from other students.  He was a Malfoy.  And his father had tried to kill everyone in the school.  This year was going to be difficult.  But it wasn't going to be easy to define himself separately from his father and make up for five years of being an egotistical prat overnight.

-----------------

Their clothes were getting icky, having been worn several times already.  Arguments were huge about food not properly being thrown away and it stank to high heaven in the cave until Dobby found the offensive deteriorating morsel.

Sisterly love or not, the girls were about to kill each other.  Despite the freezing weather they spent a lot of time outdoors just to get personal space.  Ginny thought about Harry all the time, feeling nearly the same as she had the day of the Yule Ball.

Pansy too had fought her feelings for Draco long enough.  While everyone was out of the cave, she took a few minutes to pleasure herself discretely just to relieve the tension.  _Was it just her, or was the desire stronger than ever?_  Frustrated still, she picked up the book and skimmed the spell again.

"_Creation and destruction, energy and rhythm— Twenty girls come together in the pentacle and leave as women, losing their blood yet remaining innocent._

_Choosing to stand in the pentacle, symbol of the feminine, enables casters to connect with their own womanliness and power such that they are able to call upon a goddess to help them. Such purity of heart and spirit amongst these sisters fulfills the destiny of the spell, renewing wards to a height unknown to many._

_Desire wants to be satisfied.  Like two charged opposites wanting to draw together, and it's only the will of the virgin that prevents their union.  One pulls, the other pushes… it's a chase.   Virginity expended, innocence preserved."_

And she wasn't a virgin anymore.  She had no fight left.  She thought the spell alone would quench her desire for him, but it had only increased. But Millicent and the others…  Millicent only spoke of missing Neville to talk to.  Their interests were new and their relationship in early stages.  _She didn't walk around the cave all randy, and she was Millie, Mistress of Desire for crying out loud!_  Even Lisa seemed calm and in control. 

But Ginny and Hermione.  They were the ones who hadn't completed their part of the spell.  And if they didn't act soon Pansy knew she would be consumed by desire. 

She hated it.  Pansy toyed with the idea of masquerading as Monica Bruce, surely he would be turned on by an older woman.  Then he wouldn't know it was her.  _Shit.  That's so cowardly, Pansy!  Get it together._

Hermione was freezing, but she found some solace in the babbling stream.  There were patches of ice lining it near the rocks and she watched her breath hit the cold air.  She got up to walk a bit farther downstream where the river was widening.  After a while, Ginny called out for her.  She had gone too far and was out of sight.  Hermione's feet were numb, but she ran back toward her voice.

"Dobby's here!"  Ginny yelled.

It was always welcome to see a friendly face.  But this time she had another favor to ask.  Dobby slipped her the things she had asked for.  The girls scurried inside to devour breakfast.

"Dobby, I hate to ask you, but our clothes are getting very dirty.  Would it be possible for you to launder them for us?"  Hermione implored.

"Yes of course, Miss.  Miss?  Dobby is not asking many questions because you say no.  But I is having to warn you that people are getting very suspicious of me.  The other house elves is noticing when I is gone."  Dobby wrung his flimsy sweater with his bony wrinkled hands and Hermione feared he might do himself harm.  She felt horrible that she had put him in such a predicament.

"Dobby, I can't thank you enough for all of your help.  I swear we couldn't have done it without you,"  Hermione praised and the elf blushed.  "I swear, it will be over soon and life will go back to normal."

"Normal?"  Dobby squeaked happily.

"We should be back by the end of the week, but don't tell.  Just a few more days.  Fresh clothes will make it more bearable."

"Dobby will wash!  I is so happy Miss.  Good news!"  He spun around in glee and some of the girls overheard— beaming too, counting down the days until they could return home, talk to their friends and family, have a hot meal and warm bath.  Clean teeth with magic.  Use a toilet without nature getting in the way.

When Dobby spun around to face Hermione his eyes were wide and saw.  He saw the way elves see.  He looked at Pansy and looked back at Miss Granger.  He shed a frozen tear and couldn't speak.  Hermione got choked up.  He realized all of the things he was asked to bring weren't for school or tutoring.

Before he left he said calmly, "I will wash your clothes, Miss."

"Thank you, Dobby."  He disappeared with a pop.

------------------------------

"We need to pack."

"What, now?  Are we leaving early?" Marietta asked excitedly.

"No," Hermione replied.  "There's a chance that we may be found sooner than planned because the other elves are getting suspicious of Dobby's peculiar activities.  We need to be ready to leave."

Pansy looked at her friend in sorrow.  The girls didn't need to be told twice and packed swiftly as Hermione walked out front.  The damp cold of the stone froze right through her jeans and thermal underwear.  She kicked out her legs in front, making designs in the snow.

"Are you going to be okay?"  Pansy asked.

"What do you mean?"  Hermione played dumb.

"What do you take me for?  I'm not blind."  She put a friendly arm around her shoulder and hugged her tight.  Hermione laid her head on Pansy's shoulder and sighed.

"I'll be fine."  Hermione muttered.

"What do you need from me?"

Hermione's throat hitched.  "This… is great.  Just… tell Ron and Harry that I love them.  They won't understand."

"Hermione, I hate to break this to you, but I don't think very many are going to understand at all.  I know I still don't."  Pansy rubbed her back and stayed for a long time.  Ginny joined them later for the painful talk.  There was a lot of arguing, but the other girls remained inside to let them hash it out.

"What do you mean you're not going?!"  Ginny was furious.  "You have to go!"

Hermione looked at her friend and Ginny saw her mind would not be changed.  "Please,"  Ginny begged.  "Harry will be crazy, you know how he gets."

Hermione sat up all night packing carefully, and writing two additional letters to Ron and Harry. They were written in a shaky hand and she had to rewrite them to make sure the were legible, without tearstains and clear.  She was burning to write one to Severus, but she could only think incomplete thoughts, and no words would sufficiently explain her disappearance.

Luna sat with her after speaking to Ginny.  Wordlessly, she dropped a gold chain and locket into Hermione's open palm and closed her fingers around it. On the back was engraved 'Hogwarts'.  Luna had charmed it before their flight from the Ball.  Luna hugged her tightly and left her, a far more serious girl than anyone gave her credit for.

---------

Three days into school, Snape was startled from his grading by an owl at his window.  He retrieved the parchment from the bird, complete with the test results he had sent off three days ago.  It was terribly useful, but now he only had raw data.

He scanned the compounds found.  _Odd, there was an unusual amount of dirt.  Bark, maybe from the wood box?_

He needed time.  Alfred had made his own conclusions which were broad and sweeping.  After an hour or so, Snape left his dungeons frustrated for breakfast.

Dumbledore addressed the students this morning as he should have their first day back.  "Good morning Hogwarts students.  I would like to acknowledge that some very significant things happened at the end of term which have resulted in the vacancies around you.  It was an incredibly brave thing those girls did, performing that spell.  I had hopes that they would return by the beginning of school, as I am sure all of you had expected.  Alas, I see that is not to be.  Let me assure you that I have every confidence of their safe return, and please do your best to concentrate on the opportunities before you for study.  If any of you have need to speak with me, please feel free to do so, especially if you have information regarding your peers."

When he sat, the plates filled with food.  Ron had miraculously lost his appetite.  Harry was picking at his eggs.  "Opportunity for study.  Humph.  If they hadn't done that spell we wouldn't have a place _to_ study."  Harry ran his fingers through his unruly black hair, messing it up more.  Then smoothed it.  He didn't want to be remembered for behaving as his father had. 

"I hope they'll come back soon.  And when Hermione gets here, I'm going to kill her."  He sighed.  "Right after I hug the breath out of her.  Damn that girl."  He shoved sausages into his mouth. 

Harry smiled.  He was thinking the same thing.  Except Ginny.  He could scarcely contain his joy in thinking she would be home soon.  He would kiss her soundly and make sure he told her out loud that he loved her.

------------------

Katie Renou threw down her bags by the Floo and plopped on her sofa sighing.  _Home.  Finally._  She had spent four weeks in Brazil taking care of her frail grandmother.  There was nothing more they could do for her except keep her comfortable and it had been a long battle.

Katie was the only one left with a schedule free enough to care for her.  The holidays were so busy at Flourish and Blotts her co-workers screamed at her departure, but it was necessary.  Her brother had already taken two months off, and he was missing his family. 

She picked up her newspapers and mail all at once, sorting through it.  She smiled at the book, finally finished, glad to have a copy for herself and one for Hermione.  _Good work girl!_

Her face fell however when the December 26th issue of the daily prophet fell into her lap.

'_Virgin Spellcasting Shakes Hogwarts: Twenty Girls Missing' _

"Good Gods!"   Her eyes flew across the page in tears as she read.  The first name missing, Hermione Granger.  _Oh no.  _She scribbled out a letter and sent Buckwheat out to search.  She sent the book too, and kept it anonymous as before.  The soldier was deployed.

------------------

Snape sat in his reading chair pouring over the data.  He brushed a stray blade of grass from his pants leg he'd picked up from his earlier venture for potions ingredients.  When the epiphany came, he bolted for the door without delay, his black cloak billowing behind him as he took his longest strides.  He had to see Dumbledore.

_In their own backyard_, he couldn't believe it, _but it made perfect sense_.  _Actually it made no goddamn sense_ _at all._  _Three weeks in the Forbidden Forest, twenty girls alone?_

"Treacle Fudge!"  He hissed.

He ran up the revolving steps despite the dizzying feeling it provoked.  The Headmaster was already in a full tirade with Dobby and Winky.  Snape stopped cold.

_-------------------_

Winky had popped up to see Dumbledore first. 

"Yes, Winky?  What is it?"

She was in a frightful state, now flogging herself furiously with the tea cozy she used for a hat.  "I works for you, sir.  But Master Dobby, he is not doing what he should."  She hit herself again and Albus winced.

"Winky, I have told you no punishing yourself."  He muttered a charm and her hands flew out to her sides, unable to hit herself any longer.  "What is bothering you?  Dobby is free to do as he pleases.  He is a free elf, Winky."  They had been through this before.

"Yes sir, but he is.  I is seeing him wash the girls' clothes in the middle of the night, sir."  She squeaked and let out a wail.

_Girls' clothes, why is that odd?_

Dobby popped in,  "Say no more!"  He pointed at Winky.

"What is going on here Dobby?"  Dumbledore stood, so much more imposing when he did so.

Dobby crossed his arms defiantly and glared at Winky.

"What girls' clothes Winky?"  He said more harshly and she cried.

Snape entered the room at that moment watching the spectacle.  "THE girls, the missing girls sir!  He's been washing their clothes and stealing from the kitchens!"

"BAHHH!"  Dobby yelled, house elves looking quite fearsome when they did so.

Snape piped up next grabbing Dobby by the scruff,  "If you know where they are, you will take us to them _now_."  He left no room for argument.  "Headmaster, I did some analysis and found they are hiding in the Forbidden Forest."  Albus raised a curious eyebrow and fetched his cloak.

Dobby's eyes widened and sighed in angry resignation, he scowled again at the distraught Winky.

"Fine.  They was ready to come back anyways."  Dobby said plainly, as if he had intended to bring them all along.

Once at the edge of the Forbidden Forest they could apparate in further, which Dobby had suggested they do.  They were deep inside the forest.

Crunching their feet angrily through the snow they could hear the sound of laughing girls who were pulling bags outside the cave.  It was a bit infuriating to see them in such good spirits.  It wasn't like they had gone camping.  They hadn't needed them one whit.  But they did need Dobby, and it was bitterly cold to be camping in this snow.

Snape approached the mouth of the cave and looked at the conditions.

"Finite Incantatem," Luna said relieved at her first bit of magic.  The bed transfigured back to two stones which clattered to the cavern floor.

Pansy swung a bag over her shoulder and met the gaze of the Head of Slytherin.  She nodded politely and made a hasty exit.

"I am glad to see you are all well,"  Snape said, and Hermione turned to face him.

She hadn't seen him in almost a month and her heart ached.  She stared for a moment and something passed between them.  She wasn't cognizant of the movement around her and finally all of the girls had exited.  She took a deep breath as she memorized his face.  _Bless me._

"I _am_ sorry," she said, unnecessarily rearticulating the sentiments of her earlier letter.

"You've said that," was his quiet reply.  He did not even blink.  Snape ushered her out and she made a display of picking up spare portable fires.  He exited the cave to watch the girls use portkeys the headmaster had enchanted.  When he turned back to Hermione the cave was entirely empty.  _No._

Everything was happening too quickly.  All of the girls had nearly portkeyed out and Severus' troubled eyes met the cool blue ones belonging to the headmaster.  No one else was coming.  Albus strode forward and searched the cave.

"She's gone, Albus."  Severus stood shell-shocked and Dumbledore stood silently.

"We must return Severus, perhaps her friends will have the answers we need."

-------------------------

**Author's Notes:**

Another cliffie!  I love it.  It was a good stopping place anyway.  Next you get to see what the reactions are up at Hogwarts, poor Hermione settling into her new digs. And how Snape deals with nineteen returned students and coping with the one still gone.  School really isn't school without Hermione.  And now that our selfless heroine is all alone, I would like us to revisit the poem from earlier… a bit of foreshadowing.  I can't remember which reviewer it was before who said the spell might be too powerful or amazing that there weren't more ways of breaking it… but there are.  Kill all or kill one.  Horrible.  (Hey, found it! steph2bwld said in response to chap 13 that it was "a little too good to be true."  And it was too good to be true without consequences.)

_I hate to love him_

_The exquisite torture of unrequited love_

_His voice and manner_

_Haunt my dreams_

_In both sun and shadow._

_What once stood here_

_In these shoes_

_Is now a hopeless fool_

_An utterly ruined woman_

_Pining for the love of a man _

_she cannot possess._

_Who was the fool who said_

_'Love conquers all?'_

_Love has damned me forever._

_The strains of her heart_

_Incapacitate her_

_Yet her body drones on_

_Going through the motions_

_Of shallow existence._

_As she walks_

_With the this painful secret_

_Etched upon her breast_

_She feels the naked truth of love_

_Press upon her_

_Embarrassingly visible on her face._

_They do not suspect_

_But friends comfort her_

_Making cruelly kind inquiries _

_About her supposed affliction._

_Is it wrong_

_For her to care for_

_A man she cannot fully know?_

_How can she love him?_

_She aids him in secret—_

_Carefully concealing all subtle gestures_

_Of affection for him._

_Ah, but his eyes radiate with such an intensity_

_Of passion and knowledge_

_She avoids even fleeting glances_

_If he were to look on her_

_Would he know?_

_If he found her—_

_If he truly saw her as she is _

_Would he honor her_

_With conversation and companionship?_

_It is sad_

_That she knows him not_

_The distance is cruel _

_And yet mere space or distance_

_Cannot communicate the secrets of _

_A private man._

_He lets no one near_

_So alone—_

_She herself can appreciate_

_The pangs of lonely solitude._

_He is in the dark_

_And so is she._

_With him alone_

_She has been most honest_

_Though there has been a recent omission,_

_Can he forgive her?_

_Will he understand?_

_All for love,_

_All for protection—_

_She hopes he will pardon_

_Her brief but significant deception._

_If she should volunteer the truth of her affection_

_Rejection would be swift and severe,_

_Knocking the breath from her lips,_

_Bruising her fragile heart_

_Even with the kindest of words._

_Afraid as she is of him knowing_

_'Tis more painful still— _

_him not knowing._

_If he should acknowledge her_

_In some brief way—_

_If love could be returned,_

_She would weep for joy of it._

_Love has made her a coward._

_She will never tell of it,_

_will not speak his name_

_Except in the innocuous_

_Clandestine tones_

_Of everyday happenings,_

_No one the wiser._

_She shall guard against_

_Invasion of this sacred knowledge_

_As if the mention of it_

_Were a dagger that could end his life_

_If his name were spoken aloud._

_On pain of death_

_No one will know,_

_Gladly accepting an Unforgivable_

_In place of the unforgivable betrayal_

_Of his identity._

_My God_

_I hope he will rescue me_

_The futile yearnings of my heart_

_Might destroy me utterly_

_If I never share it._

She has an omission?  That's an understatement.  He's in the dark?  You can say that again.  Love is torture.  Cowardly Gryffindors, sometimes brave for the wrong reasons and stubborn as all hell.

Nakhash Mekashefah- that is awesome!  Where did you get your history on her from?  And she's associated with snakes?  And small enclosed spaces?  I didn't do that on purpose, on second thought… Yeah, yeah that's the ticket.  S'my plan all along… right.  Thank you for your review!

LilThuggin'-  Thanks, yeah good ol' Snape didn't mean to look at it from that angle, but he is remembering he is a man.  Rather preoccupied lately with a poem making him wish he could be loved that way, and wondering why he was blessed.  He's about to find out next chapter, a few misleading answers to that question.

Tigress12-  Snape has good Occlumency alright, but… well I can't say too much for future chapters…  I love the Goddesses too, though we may not see much use of them for awhile.

Alpha-  Thank you thank you!  Come back soon, and when you do, I hope you will have two chapters to read instead of one.

Crissy-  Sorry to disappoint you, but where Hermione is concerned you are wrong.  Think about the poem, and what she would do to protect Snape.  I have reprinted it above, for now that Hermione is alone, I think it appropriate.  _On pain of death…_ (but that is from Hermione's point of view).

Wackoramaco87-    Thank you.  I write long chapters because I want to finish an idea for scenes together with a natural stopping point or cliffie.  And I have a very big mouth.  Oops I should have checked the Bestiary in the HP Lexicon!  I am changing it today!  So sorry.  Next chapter now!  Hee hee and soon.  I need to slow down, because I have to set up the next important sequence of events, character development and so one.

Keket Amunet-  You betcha, and there will be an interesting segment with Harry and Ron coming next chapter, but I'm not quite sure how to play it.  Draco has a lot of making up to do, and I'm not so sure pansy will be so ready to believe him… of she's got the whole desire thing going.  Will she chicken out and use remaining Polyjuice?  And here is the trouble baby!  Hermione, all alone.   Thanks for the recommendations about the tutoring sessions, I put in some more on that after reading your review.

Rosmerta-  Yes, you may.  Hermione has become something of a girl scout with this little wilderness retreat.  And now, there will be more Snape.

Athene Saile- Hooray!  Glad you like it.  The button below calls you for suggestions…

MxSRose-  Thank you!  Hope you missed your keyboard…

Althea Gray-  Thank you, but as for looking, all bets are off. Wait til Dumbledore settles it in his mind that Hermione is gone.  They aren't going to let that go.  Especially Minerva.

What's Their Name-  Thank you!

Christine-  And Lucius did manage to break a bottle cap of a hole, but alas (hooray!) it closed (we're saved!)  Hermione did not willingly give her blood to Goyle, but she did willingly perform the spell, all the consent that was needed to make her virginal blood collectible. (Ha ha collectible.  Ha ha.  Snape has the tubes of blood all lined up beside his collection of Beanie Babies… haha.  Do you think they made a snake?  J/K.)

Kit-  Here you go!

Franflutewitch-  Yeah, could you imagine Voldemort on fire?  You know that do say snake tastes like chicken…  Yeah, we're about to get more of Snape's reflections alright.  In the beginning, he's curious because they've formed a bit of a working relationship and Snape's not used to that.  But he's also puzzled by the blessing, not wanting to speak about it to anyone.  Curiously Dumbledore had respected him on that point.  He used the Pensieve to get more info on what happened but could only contemplate what she must have gone through.  He preoccupies his holiday time with useless efforts regarding rescue.  And they don't need rescuing. 

The original sessy-  I know you're only only chap 8 (hope you keep reading…Smile!)  Hermione only received exceeds expectations in DADA because A: she's not perfect even though she aspires to be. And B: in the book it says that Harry is better at her at DADA.  But you're right, maybe they graded her lower because of some stupid prejudice against our beloved Hermione!  Haha! 

Midnightrider-  Thank you, I'm so glad you think so.  I'm trying for more detail.  I'll really be needing it now with Hermione gone.  Ooops, slip.

Alicat99-  Severus only has a tiny clue.  That he needs company.  He is worried for a brilliant student and is unwilling to recognize now that it could be anything more.  She's his student for crying out loud.  In the club, she was pretending to be more mature than her years.  Now,  Hermione IS more mature than her years.  As always, thank you for your review!

Min Hee-   Thank you, and I reprinted the whole thing for you above, complete with breaks like it should have originally had.

Pandora Nervosa-  Thank you.  I forgot exactly what lemons were…  I think I have a few in Burden of Sight.

Corrie-  Thank you, only one day.  How's that?

Tabii-  Awesome, it was supposed to be a tearjerker.

Wytil-   Pressure cooked.  Inner scramble thing.  Hard wand movements, that.  Voldemort doesn't like failure.

June Williams-  Thank you, and I will let you know when the story is posted elsewhere.  One of the reviewers wanted to put it on her website and that's in progress.

Kylara-  Snape ain't blind, he just thinks. "I can't have that.  It's not for me."  Denial sucks.  Thanks for picking up the story today, good time to do it too.  More soon!  Reviews are appreciated.  What do you want to see happen next?

MA-   Man o man (or woman o woman?- ha) do I love your long reviews!  I'm so glad this inspired so many questions from you!  And did the punishment satisfy you?  We can only speculate how long that went on.  Interesting posed question about the reaction of Pansy's family and others.  I won't mention it to give it away, but they will be varied.  I hope this chapter answers some of your questions about how the spell can be broken.  I don't think the blessed people feel deceived, they should be flattered.   Not all relationships will be the same, but there will be more respect for the girls who casted, and perhaps some negative comments from obnoxious boys like Goyle.  Course, he shouldn't tempt the girls' boxing team.  I'll try to go more into the goddesses choosing later if possible.  Those kind of bonds can never be destroyed, and while before the spell you don't see the girls from different houses being so chummy outside of the ROR, I think all the women, Slytherin included are not gonna hide their sisterhood.  "I've got your back," and so forth.  I love Simon and Garfunkel and I did read the lyrics.  That song is really appropriate for upcoming chapters.  I also like Norah Jones, the Long Day is Over.  Short, and beautiful.  And you're not long-winded, keep it up!

_Feeling tired_

_By the fire _

_The long day is over _

_The wind is gone_

_Asleep at dawn.  _

_The embers burn on _

_With no reprise_

_The sun will rise_

_The long day is over_

Saturngurl123-  I think the Marauder's Map shows the edge of the Forbidden Forest only, not 5 miles of it.  And I like to think that Dumbledore knows quite a bit but has his limits.  He does have a few tricks up his sleeve though.  I'll show you how he finds distressed students.

Ezmerelda-  Ezmerelda, you are so good.  Anticipating things…  Yeah, I love it that she sends him, Death Eater, all of the blood they were trying to protect.  Pansy would cast an Unforgivable on Hermione if she knew.

Alarase-  I don't quite think this fic will take us to the Final battle though it easily could.  I can't tell too much about SS/HG or it'll ruin the story.  They are empowered, independent and not all will get their men or women as it were.  And this chapter was as long as I could make it.

Lyn  me-  Thank you!  I'll try my best.

Poetrychik-  Hey, thank you!  And as for Hedwig, that owl isn't likely to betray a confidence.  Hedwig knows she would be followed.  The Slytherin students have a lot of personal stakes in saving their own skins, but I don't think they're about to have enough brass to go after Voldie.  No way.

Kat6528-  Me neither, and that's why it's so cool.  I was only a brownie.

Azulkkan2-  Me too. Snape is about to suffer more.


	18. Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is the owner/operator of all that is Harry Potter.

**Chapter Eighteen: Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow**

The girls were scrambling outside, excited to be free of the confines of their nook. They were warm despite the weather, filled with the knowledge they would soon be home. Pansy lagged behind, looking despondently at her friend.

"Hermione? Are you sure?"

She could only nod as she received one last fierce hug. "I'll miss you. Take care of Ginny for me," Hermione sucked in a painful breath. She told herself she wouldn't cry.

"I'll try to explain the best I can," Pansy said, straightening her shoulders. She threw her sack over her arm.

"I know you will." Hermione listened hard, and she could hear shouting and the sounds of apparating. "It's time."

Luna entered the cave and ended the warming spells on the shelter. Simultaneously, Hermione casted the Portus charm on one of the illuminated glass jars.

The students outside scattered where a fierce-looking Professor Snape parted them. His black cloak whipped behind him picking up snow at the edges. His look was so severe he could have melted a path of snow with his gaze. Disbelief was evident on his face as he approached. _A cave? They lived here?_

He looked inside and there she was, kneeling beside a cot, packing like it was an ordinary thing. She did not look at all excited. She wasn't flitting about like the others, not shrieking with glee. Hermione turned to look at him and stopped. She said nothing at first and he couldn't explain it. She didn't smile, though her face conveyed some delicate expression, but he could not put his finger on it. She looked almost… sad.

"I _am_ sorry." _I am sorry I'm leaving. I'm sorry I can't tell you everything I'd like. _She was saying goodbye again. So that he wouldn't die, even a little. Snape's back turned and she watched him until the last possible moment when at last her fingers closed around the portable fire.__

She closed her eyes until the swirling stopped, unwilling to let that particular vision go.

But she had to act quickly. None of the Aurors had appeared when Luna cast, and Hermione was still sufficiently close by. She cast a disillusionment charm on the mouth of the cave, making it appear solid to predators. She again cast warming spells, drying charms, a silencing charm. Hermione quickly enlarged one cauldron to normal size, and one to enormous proportion. If she was going to stay out here, she wasn't going to do it without a bathtub.

She rolled out her bedroll and enlarged it with the cauldrons. _Damn rocks._ Her back was _still _giving her fits. She quickly cast a moisture repelling charm on her bedding like the one Harry used on his glasses for rainy Quidditch conditions.

Sitting on the cold ground, she shut her eyes again to chase snatches of her memories of him. Like water through her fingers, Severus' image slipped from her mind the harder she tried to hang on to his face.

Hermione had all the time in the world to unpack and she did so slowly, like she was setting up house. From the opening she could she the stream at a place where it had widened, locating this spot that day when she allowed herself to venture farther from Ginny.

All that she owned in essence was in this tapestry bag. It wasn't like Hermione to run away, not at all— but she convinced herself she was doing this for the greater good, or at least until they tired of looking for her or she thought of a better plan.

-------------------

The girls ran into the Great Hall and tore off toward the dorms. Students in the hall gasped in surprise on the way to breakfast at the familiar faces. Soon word passed throughout the school.

"Emma!" Another fourth-year girl greeted her and Laura in fierce hugs.

Pansy and Ginny walked hand in hand, a pilgrimage they had expected to make with another sister. They had a lot to explain and little time to prepare. They were still in danger and were unaware how much others knew about the vulnerabilities of the wards.

Three weeks had passed and nearly all had their moonflow, making it impossible for the wards to be brought down by killing the twenty of them. Of course, there was still the _other _issue to consider. _Some man wrote that spell. Pansy just knew it._

Pansy wished Ginny luck and gave her one more hug before she left to address the boys.

Ginny walked to the Gryffindor common room. "Virginia Weasley! So glad to see you! Smashing! Splendid! Come right in, and do stay put! Oh! I think I'm going to cry…" The Fat Lady, who had endured all manner of sad and melancholy faces and conversations regarding their whereabouts, made so many exclamations of joy at seeing her that she swung open without a password as she had done for Natalie.

Ron and Harry had heard the news from a screaming Seamus.

"They're back! THEY'RE BACK!!!"

Ron and Harry nearly tripped over each other and fell in a tangle of legs at the bottom of the stairs. Harry hesitated, drinking in the sight of the beautiful red head. _His Ginny._ She was now more beautiful than he had remembered if such a thing was possible.

Ron hugged her fiercely and she hugged him back, but her hungry eyes never left the green ones staring back at her.

"Ginny! We've been worried sick about you! You alright? You look okay… Mom's gonna kill you, y'know that right?" Ron rambled on and she could barely hear him for the rushing in her ears. "Ginny?"

"Ron, I'll be with you in a minute, okay?" she said numbly, still transfixed by the sight of Harry. Ginny ran to him and locked him into a crushingly passionate kiss.

Harry was taken aback, his arms full of Ginny, but he wasn't about to fight it. Desire consumed her and she let it.

"Merlin, you guys! Get a room!" Dean shouted.

Ron stood shocked at the display, nearly purple with the realization of what they had discussed the night of the spell. She had avoided Harry because she was afraid of what _she_ might do.

_Daphne._

Ron ran out of the room for the Slytherin dorms, only to see an empty hallway. After a few minutes, excited students were filing out for breakfast.

"What are you doing so far from home, Weasel?" asked Draco, who was in a foul mood. Draco stood by himself, not walking with anyone. He had been lost in his own thoughts.

"Umm, Malfoy… Have you seen Daphne?" Ron actually gulped, too preoccupied to insult him.

Light dawned on Malfoy's face. _Pansy._ "They're back?"

Ron nodded, and smiled almost.

"Really? That's… great." He stared at the girl over his shoulder.

Pansy walked up right behind Ron. Seeing Draco her breathing became irregular and felt like running the opposite direction. "Ron? Can I ask you a favor?"

Ron spun around, "Pansy! Um. Welcome back."

"Can you walk with me to the _Gryffindor _Common Room? Maybe Ginny will let me use her bathroom." Her eyes never left Draco's.

"Why would you…"

"Now, Weasley!" She snapped.

"Um, okay sure." Ron said agreeably, a bit disappointed that Daphne hadn't been spotted yet.

"Draco," was her one word goodbye.

"Pansy, I…" Draco was interrupted by her abrupt departure, seeing only her back as she tore off with Ron, yanking him by the arm down the hall, back toward the upper levels. _I'm sorry._

"I hate to be rude, Pansy. But what was that all about?" Ron said stiffly.

"Ron, things will be explained _after_ we see the Headmaster and not before. Right now I haven't seen a bath in three weeks and I am damn well going to be swimming in one inside the next five minutes. Is that okay with you?" She wasn't asking permission.

"Um, yeah. Okay. Sure." _Yes, ma'am._ She sounded like his mother. All she missed was use of his full name.

She ran up the girls' steps to join Natalie in the prefect's enormous bathroom. Hermione had been so kind as to give them the password. They had been fantasizing about this ever since.

Pansy should have thought about it earlier, but she'd need a place to bunk until she found a way to… well… _mate_ with the ferret. She stripped off the clothes she'd worn one too many times and thought very seriously about burning them as she slipped into soapy vanilla waters. Fragrant jasmine wafted from Natalie's end. She was doing a backstroke.

Pansy washed quickly, wanting to resume plans immediately. Dumbledore wouldn't leave them to their own devices for too long. She closed her eyes and felt the warmth of the bathtub. Suddenly her skin found a chill as she was again painfully reminded of her sister left behind. Hermione wasn't enjoying these luxuries and Pansy felt guilty. She grabbed a bar of soap and rubbed vigorously, trying to ignore any pleasurable sensations.

Ginny dove in behind her, bringing her back to the task at hand. Ginny washed quickly as well, rubbing soap into her hair and rinsing quickly, washing again for good measure. She shot Pansy a wink and stepped out— having the same thing in mind.

"Let's get this over with."

---------------------

"Millicent!" Neville hollered from the hall.

"That's Millie to you Neville," she said quietly.

"Millie. Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm okay."

He reached out his hand to take hers and she pulled back. Neville's heart sank, feeling a pang of rejection.

"Hey! Don't take offense, I've been living in a cave since Christmas. I must smell like Hagrid's barn!"

Neville smiled. "Nah…You look great. We've been really… _I've_ been really worried about you." He stopped a moment and looked at her thoughtfully. "I know you must want to settle in. Do you… want me to carry your bag for you?" _Way to go stupid, she doesn't like that kind of thing_.

A boy had never offered to carry anything for Millicent in her life. She never felt more like a lady, even when she was waxed and dressed to kill for the Yule Ball. _She could carry it herself, but why?_ "Thank you, Neville. I'd like that."

"Don't you have to see the Headmaster?" Neville asked as Dumbledore and Professor Snape looked on from the entrance.

Millicent looked back at the wise man, and then back at her companion. "It can wait." She put her arm in Neville's and was escorted like royalty to her suite.

----------------

"The bath felt so good. I'm going to have a longer one after we meet," Linda said.

"I'll never take a clean towel for granted again," Roberta agreed.

"Forget that," Luna interjected. "I want to sleep on a big fluffy bed that wasn't transfigured out of a couple of rocks." Daphne came back toward the Great Hall to join the rest of the SOS before entering the Headmaster's office as a group.

Ron didn't quite receive the welcome that he'd hoped. Daphne offered a warm smile to him and excused herself from the circle of girls to hug him tightly. It didn't feel romantic, no crushing kiss, it was almost… awkward.

"Daphne, what's wrong?" Ron asked sincerely holding her at arms' length.

She swallowed hard. Ron looked around at the gathering girls seeing familiar faces. As Natalie, Ginny and Pansy walked up the hallway, Ron's expression faltered slightly.

"Hey. Where's Hermione?"

Ginny and Pansy joined Daphne's side.

"Ron. Hermione is not here." Ginny said.

"Where is she? Is she still washing her hair? Must be giving her fits…" His voice trailed off, Ginny shaking her head, eyes glistening with new tears.

"NO! You're lying!"

"We're not Ron. I wish we were," Pansy admitted.

"It's the truth," said Ginny quietly, giving him the sisterly hug he deserved.

"Go to Harry, Ron. He needs you right now. I'll be back after we talk to Dumbledore. Hermione is fine. I have letters for you both, but I will give them to you myself. After." Ginny had spent twenty minutes talking to Harry about it before her bath. He was still sitting in shock where she'd left him on his bed.

Ron nodded mutely, tears streaming down his face. Daphne brushed one away and got on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

All of the girls were a bit misty at the display and all knew how he felt. She was their sister too.

The members of the SOS filed into Dumbledore's office. Lisa, Roberta, Linda, Ginny, Luna, Laura, Daphne, Natalie, Millie, Susan, Orla, Hannah, Pansy, Emma, Dora, Sally Ann, Marietta, Tracey and Felicia all stood side by side, many with arms around each other, both in support and friendship— and also in an effort to make a bit more room.

They were joined by Lupin, McGonagall, Snape, Flitwick, Pomfrey and the other professors. It was, needless to say, quite cramped.

Pansy led. "I hope you don't mind, but we would prefer to speak with you alone, Professor Dumbledore."

There was some grumbling amongst the adults, raised eyebrows and a couple of murmured 'why I nevers' when Ginny spoke up.

"Professor, might I have a word with you?" Ginny inclined her head imperceptibly to the left and Dumbledore stood, sweeping his arm to gesture her in the direction of what looked like a solid wall of books and baubles. With a wave of his hand it swung open and Ginny squeezed past the group of girls through to the adjacent room. She winked at Pansy who had been about to follow her, but took the suggestion. The door clicked shut behind them.

"Is that soundproof?" she whispered.

"Yes, Miss Weasley. Do you have a suggestion?"

"Yes, sir. Most of the girls don't trust Professor Snape and many distrust other teachers as well. Perhaps Pansy and I can just meet with you, while Remus and Snape…"

"That's _Professor_ Lupin and _Professor_ Snape, Miss Weasley."

"Yes, that's what I meant sir. While they watch from somewhere _unseen_?" She suggested.

Dumbledore thought for a moment.

"I've had classes in a small cave with them sir. It will be chaos."

"Quite right. Are you _sure_ you don't want to pursue a career in teaching, Miss Weasley?"

"Yes, sir. Positive." She smiled at the complement.

"Well then, let's get on with things shall we?"

He opened the wall again.

Ginny sat and he addressed them all. "My dear students. I find it difficult to express my extreme sadness that you found the need to leave us. I have always felt that Hogwarts…" Dumbledore's throat hitched and he swallowed to compensate for his breaking voice. Everyone remained respectfully silent. "That Hogwarts would always be a _safe_ place for students to study. These wards have held for over a thousand years, and we found to our astonishment that they were not impenetrable. As angry and disappointed as I was for your deliberate misconduct in breaking numerous school rules, frightening all of your peers and families, and putting all of us," he gestured to the staff, "through a considerable loss of sleep and shaving ten years off _my_ life— I find myself unable to come up with a punishment suitable for your actions."

They all held their breath.

"I instead find myself in your great debt." A silver tear fell from his gray blue eyes, a rare time Minerva and others had seen the Headmaster cry. "I am honored, deeply honored to be in the presence of such brave, fine and noble young women. Powerful witches you must be to have accomplished what you did." He dabbed his eyes with a well-loved handkerchief, polka-dotted with house elves and Christmas trees.

All of the girls were nearly in tears too, feeling a mixture of both pride and guilt at leaving Hogwarts without word or trace of their whereabouts.

"Miss Weasley has suggested," he continued, "and rightly so, that perhaps I should speak to just her and Pansy for a summary of these events. Therefore, the rest of you are dismissed _for now_. Allow me to make a request, that you not discuss the circumstances surrounding your departure or subsequent adventures with any other students until you speak with us."

"Yes, sir." All of the girls murmured in unison.

Dumbledore stood and the staircase appeared. He escorted them out and signaled the other professors should leave as well. Albus pressed a gold skeleton key into Snape's palm as he passed and beckoned for Remus to join him back in his office. While Dumbledore took his time to arrange himself, Snape ran up the back steps to the room east of Dumbledore's office with a one-way mirror.

"Ladies, I have asked Professor Lupin to remain with us, as I believe you have something which belongs to him." A look over his spectacles was all the hint required to suggest that the book was long overdue.

"Yes, sir. Thank you for letting me _borrow_ it," Pansy said with a mischievous smile as she retrieved the two halves from her bag.

Remus smirked and Dumbledore looked amused when Pansy pulled the outside cover from her bag in one length, but on the other side of solid, Snape's mouth dropped in shock.

"I'm sorry sir. They really should've make a large-print version of that book in four volumes so we could've saved our sight."

"Four?" Remus inquired with a laugh.

"Yes. Torture, healing spells and potions, wards, and more torture," Pansy ticked off on her fingers.

Remus laughed.

"Hermione and I…" Pansy looked away and licked her lips. Ginny put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We had to split it in two so we could read it all."

"And were you able to 'read it all', Miss Parkinson?" Dumbledore asked while pouring cups of tea for the two women.

"Yes, sir. However, we hadn't finished all of it before the Ball. Guess we needed to 'read the fine print' as they say." Pansy and Ginny shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

Dumbledore sighed sadly. "This_ is_ a long story isn't it? Why don't you tell us the whole story, in your own words? There is plenty of time. Don't let us rush you."

Pansy took a deep shuddering breath and began. She told everything. Seeing Hermione in the club, their friendship, formation of the lists, recruitment for the group. The initial plan to lose their virginities and then changing the plan for the ward building spell. The Brownheimer Antidote, the spell casting— everything.

She discussed the reactions of the boys in the hallways of Hogwarts as the spells were being practiced, as well as their own efforts to curb their desire until the Yule Ball.

Ginny and Pansy laughed and bantered amongst themselves about the roles of the girls in the group and how they emerged. Melanie's role, Millie the Mistress of Desire, Luna's talents with a wand. Snape watched with fascination how freely they talked with each other, with intimate personal knowledge of each member of the SOS, like a family.

The three professors sat transfixed as they discussed the plots of their escape, the meticulous packing, Luna's charming of portkeys, the candles, of their knowledge of Malfoy coming, Millicent's subsequent fascination with poison, the pentacle and the cooperation of the house elves to allow the invisible ink to stay until the ball. They also acknowledged Dobby's invaluable sacrifice.

"Please don't punish him, sir."

"Why would I do that Miss Weasley? It seems like you wouldn't have gotten on well without him." Dumbledore observed.

"I wouldn't say that," Pansy said outright and then blushed.

"What we _mean_ to say, is that we would've been able to relocate to a back-up site if the cave didn't workout," amended Ginny.

"And what option was that?" Remus asked, leaning forward.

"We don't know." Ginny said plainly.

"You don't _know_?" Lupin replied in shock.

"Hermione set up everything. It was safer that only one person knew," Pansy explained.

"So you don't know where she is," Dumbledore concluded.

They both shook their heads.

After a few moments of disappointed silence, Pansy spoke up. "Professor Dumbledore, could we finish up after lunch, sir? I don't know about you, but Ginny and I sure could use a break."

"Yes, of course," the bearded man nodded.

Ginny and Pansy got up and left, Ginny looking back at the Order members with a nod. There was more.

--------------------

Snape sat in the room next door to the Headmaster's office staring at the two empty chairs. They had no information. And they weren't lying— he could see it in their faces. _Damn that stupid fool of a Gryffindor! WHY!_

Dumbledore must have sensed the steam because soon enough the wall separating them vanished and Snape's furious expression was revealed.

"Damn it! We have to do something, we cannot let this go on! We were fortunate enough to find the girls when we did and they _wanted_ to be found," Snape hissed.

"Can we trace Hermione's wand?" Remus suggested.

"She performed spells in the cave, Albus." Snape agreed.

"Severus, the Ministry stopped tracking their wands some time ago at my request," said the Headmaster.

"WHAT?!" They yelled together.

"It wasn't possible to be entirely sure that the Death Eaters would not have that knowledge first. And Hermione can live well enough without magic. She won't be one who would betray her whereabouts with a wand."

Snape was livid.

"Fetch Dobby," Dumbledore said.

Soon enough Dobby was sitting before the Headmaster, his legs dangling off the end of the chair. His chair was levitating a bit off the floor so that Dumbledore could see him over the lip of his desk.

"Sir? You wanted to see me, sir?" Dobby almost cowered. Hero time was over, and his regular duties had resumed.

"Dobby, I am very glad you helped the girls when they left. But I wonder, why exactly did you help them with the pentacle and not tell me?"

"Well s-s-sir, they says it was a s-s-surprise, sir. Miss Hermione, she is saying it was for protection and that she would bes explaining to you after." Dobby winced and crouched lower in his chair. He straightened. "And they did protect the school, sir."

"Yes, they did." Dumbledore admitted, sighing. He expected more from Dobby.

"Dobby let us skip to the end," Snape bit out. "Miss Granger asked you to bring things for her recently. What did you bring?" Snape's menacing glare did not improve his chances of finding out such details. Dobby's last interaction with Snape this morning was not pleasant.

Remus interrupted, "Dobby, please. Hermione is in a lot of danger. We don't know where she is. You aren't bringing things to her at some _new _location, are you?"

"No sir. Miss was saying no. I was bringing regular things for her: candles, books, clothes and potion making things. She is putting in all in that bag of hers."

"What bag Dobby?"

"She is having a bag with no bottom sir. She can puts as many things as she is wanting in there."

After some prodding, Dobby made out a list of items brought, but indeed they were ordinary. No luck.

-------------------

Ginny went straight back to the boys' dorms as she had promised to meet with Harry and Ron. Harry had apparently already gone on one of his tirades, because Ron was still repairing things. Harry had broken and reparo'd his glasses five times already. They both quieted when seeing Ginny in the doorway.

Ginny shut and warded it behind her and the boys sat on Harry's bed. After two hours in Dumbledore's office, her story was about to start all over again. She left nothing out and spent a lot of time on the spell itself.

"I can't believe you lived in a bloody cave!" Ron exclaimed. "The Forbidden Forest! Are you mad?"

"Actually, it was Hermione's idea. And despite the cold, it worked great. We were safe."

"If you were safe," Harry held her hand, "then why did you use your Goddess?"

Ginny pulled her hand away because she was losing her self-control. Harry could feel her heart racing even after her touch left. _Or maybe that was his own._

"Wolves."

"Wolves? Attacked you?!" Ron gulped.

Ginny nodded. "You should have seen it. She was brilliant white like snow on a sunny day. It was around midnight on Christmas and the whole forest lit up."

"Wow." Ron said. "So whenever I call…"

Ginny clamped her hand over his mouth. "Save her, Ron. Save it for when you really need protection."

Ron nodded.

"Tell me about Hermione," Harry said in an empty voice, now calm enough to listen.

"She told me to tell you that she loves you both and to give you these." Ginny pulled the letters out of her dress robes and Ron left to his own bed to read his in private. Ginny made a move to leave as well, but Harry's hand on her arm stilled her movement.

"Stay."

Ginny sat back down as Harry read.

_Dearest Harry—_

_I bet I can guess what you're thinking right now. 'Damn it, Hermione! What the hell were you thinking?'_

_Was I right?_

Harry smirked.

_And I am foolish. But not stupid. I want you to picture in your mind the terror of seeing Malfoy break an opening in the wards that night. And then I want you to picture the magnitude of that spell. It was terribly complex, Ginny can tell you. And if I were to return now, all of those girls' sacrifices would have meant nothing._

_If I come back to Hogwarts, everything ends. The wards will fall. The Death Eaters and Voldemort will storm Hogwarts and this will all come to a head faster than we want it to._

_Ginny and Pansy have to fulfill their parts of the spell but I can't. I am so sorry._

_I doubt it will be possible without giving away my whereabouts but I will try to send word to you if I can._

_Do not let yourself get to that sad, despondent place you were earlier this summer. If you get low, I want you to remember— I am fighting this war like you are. We're all in this together, just like I said. Not you alone… all of us._

_The Order, Ron, Ginny, me and (I'm sure) eighteen other women are now at your disposal. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at your new sources of support. Despite the heavy topic at hand, the experience I had with these women was a wonderful one for me. Ginny can vouch for that as well. Things will never be the same at Hogwarts for us, and I am changed because of it._

_Take care. Be sure and study, I somehow think I will know if you don't!_

_Much Love,_

_Hermione_

_P.S. Melanie's got Crooks, make sure to take him off her hands if you can. She wasn't quite signing on for this long of a cat sitting job. _

_She loves animals and all, but he is a handful!_

Harry read it again and again, tears brimming in his eyes. _There was nothing he could do. She wanted to leave and she did. _Ginny touched his arm and his eyes asked the question. _Fulfill what spell?_

Ron was sniffing and loudly blowing his nose in the next bed over.

"Ron? Are you alright?" Ginny asked.

He nodded, and then shook his head.

"Can we have some time alone? Would that be okay?" Ginny prompted.

Ron nodded mutely and left for the common room to sulk.

"I should get to class," Harry dodged, trying to bury any strong emotion.

"No you shouldn't," Ginny said intertwining her fingers with his.

"Really? Why not? You gonna give me a hall pass?" He smirked.

"Yeah, your former prefect passed it along courtesy of SOS," Ginny grinned playfully.

"SOS?"

She hadn't explained. "_Save Our Selves_."

Harry went pink around the ears.

"It's time for me to tell you the part of the spell we need to complete." Ginny got on her knees, brushed the back of Harry's hand lightly with her own, and Harry felt his insides tighten.

"W-wh-what was that?"

Ginny leaned forward until her body heat could be transmitted to him and whispered in his ear, close enough to touch. "I can't save myself anymore."

_Gods._

Harry and Ginny took no time at all disrobing. They were already very comfortable with one another. Ginny was wild and Harry knew then this wouldn't work. He tried to please her and was surprised how easily she came under his caresses, though considering her condition, it must be the spell and not his skill. Ginny had calmed somewhat, and Harry's heart was racing like when he first saw her that morning.

"Oh Ginny…"

_----------------_

Pansy marched toward the Slytherin dorms with single-minded purpose, wand ready. Goyle might be back there and any number of other adversaries. One way or another Draco was coming with her. Soon she was flanked by Millie and Daphne, grateful for the armed back-up.

"Millie? Could you fetch Draco for me?" Pansy asked seriously.

"Where do you want him?" Millie growled low with a devilish grin.

"Room of Requirement," Pansy barked. _No, spread eagle naked on a bed waiting for me when I get up there. Quit it._

Daphne and Millicent saluted and Pansy left in the opposite direction.

As Pansy marched up the flights of moving staircases continuing the argument with herself, she wondered what she would say. _Should she hex him? Could she scream at him first? No._ She was way past the point of rational thought. Pansy found she couldn't be angry with him. And then she could. _Damn._

Pansy paced back and forth and concentrated hard about the room she needed. _Not a broom closet._ When she opened the door, sounds from Kinky Wizards played and leather straps were dangling from the tall posts of a mahogany bed. She slammed the door._ Oh, hell no._

_Good grief._ She concentrated again. _They needed to talk._

She opened the door hesitantly, just a crack and was relieved to see a normal couch with a large rug, fire,hot tea and no music_. Thank Merlin for that._

"Pansy?"

She jumped nearly a foot in the air, Draco right behind her.

"Damn it, don't do that! You scared the hell out of me! Don't _ever_ do that again!" She yelled. He looked great. _Damn it, how can one man look so good?_

"Actually Pansy, that's what I was hoping to talk to you about."

_Oh shit, he wants to talk! Don't talk. Those lips… Quit it, Pansy_! "Why don't you come in?" She finally managed.

Pansy warded the room's door behind her as soon as they entered and Draco looked suspiciously at her. _She was entitled. She'd just disappeared for three weeks._

She sat on the green velvet couch as far to the end as she could and poured tea.

"Pansy I wanted to say that I'm sorry," Draco began.

"Sorry?" _You know what? You're really sorry. Draco. Don't sit. Don't si...t. Oh, sat too close. It's getting warm in here._

"Yes, I shouldn't have treated you the way I did before the Yule Ball. It was wrong and I'm sorry. I really like you Pansy, and I didn't treat you the way that you deserved. I know that doesn't make up for things, but I've been waiting for you to come back so I could apologize like I should have four weeks ago."

Pansy was shocked. "You're serious."

"Yes of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"Don't know." _This is awkward._

"Pansy, I don't know what happened that night at the Ball. That spell, was… incredible. I've only heard a lot of rumors, but I think I know well… I'm sorry, I know I could've screwed it up for you."

Pansy sighed, this was going better and worse than she had hoped. _Damn it, why did he have to be so nice!_

Draco leaned in toward her, listening actively for her response. Pansy immediately got up and paced, she needed to put some distance between them. "Draco, stay there. Just, stay _way_ over there." She tried to catch her breath, walked to the opposite side of the room, and began her very unromantic wooing of Draco. "Let me break it down for you. In short, twenty of us sacrificed our virginities to make sure Hogwarts' wards would stay up. But in order to do that we had to focus our strongest desires on one person. And I already liked you last summer so…"

Draco's jaw dropped. "So your saying…"

Pansy bowed her head bashfully and bit out the admission between her teeth. "Yourtheobjectofmydesire."

"What was that?"

"I SAID YOU"RE THE OBJECT OF MY DESIRE!!!" Pansy shut her mouth and clamped her hand over it.

"What exactly does that mean?" He saw Pansy standing so far away and began to feel ashamed and guilty. "I'm sorry Pansy. I didn't mean to make you afraid of me. I should leave. I won't bother you…" He made to leave.

"NO! I'm not _afraid _of you Draco… Shit. I want you!"

Now he was really confused. Pansy couldn't stand it anymore, proximity had no relationship to her desire at this point. She ran to him and kissed him hard on the lips, wrapping her arms around him in a death grip. She clawed at the back of his cloak, pulling it off in one motion. _She could talk and kiss, _Pansy thought._ She could. Couldn't she?_

--------------------

Dumbledore had just dismissed the staff from his presentation of the students' return. Remus, Severus and Minerva remained to further discuss the concerns about Hermione Granger's disappearance. Dumbledore stood shot out of his chair when the walls vibrated. He could feel the wards go up and hum for a moment, then quiet.

"What the hell?" Snape bolted down the spiral staircase, the others close behind his elongated steps. Walking into the Great Hall, nothing seemed amiss with the exception of the faint blue glow of the pentacle. The ink had long gone, but the spell clearly remained.

"What was that Professor?" A young student exclaimed. There was murmuring all around.

"Nothing. All is well." Dumbledore reassured, "Go back to your lunches."

Dumbledore turned to see the Professors and all had noticed the students missing. Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter. Performing a location spell, Dumbledore knew immediately where the missing students were.

"Well Albus?!" Minerva snapped.

"They appear to be fine, Minerva." His expression was solemn. He wasn't saying anything.

------------

Ginny and Harry felt the earth move. And, as magnificent as their first time was, they were almost positive the earth moved for everyone else, too.

"Harry, I hate to do this to you but, there are going to be more questions," Ginny said.

"Don't worry, I understand," Harry said, kissing her temple as she threw on her robes. "Did you uh…"

"Harry Potter! Give me some credit! I took a contraceptive potion this morning Madam Pomfrey gave me just before Christmas. You should have seen her, she was _thrilled_."

Harry almost let out an audible _whew_.

"I mean really, with my mom's track record? I could get pregnant from borrowing your broomstick!" She kissed him again. "Gotta run. I love you, Harry."

"I love you too, Ginny." He smiled fondly at her.

She turned to leave and he called after her. "Hey! Maybe we could… Maybe later we can start over and do this without the aid of magic?"

She laughed. "I'm holding you to that." Slower would be better, not that she was complaining.

Ginny ran into her Professors just as she exited the portrait hole. "Professor McGonagall, Professor Lupin, Professor Dumbledore." She swallowed. "It's time to have another…chat."

"I should say so Miss Weasley. I daresay you left a few details out," said Dumbledore sternly.

Ginny walked ahead of everyone so she could avoid the harsh glares. She had dressed in a hurry, and she was sure the use of a comb would have improved her appearance.

Sitting back in Dumbledore's office, Ginny finally reached her limit. After all that had transpired over the school term and the least few weeks, Ginny lost her temper. "Will you please just stop that?! Stop it! Stop the looks, stop judging me…" Minerva looked shocked to white. "Stop looking at me like I'm some kind of _loose woman_ or something! First you berate us as though we were all sleeping around. And now I finally do have sex and your shocked! Well _fine_!"

Dumbledore was also a bit pink, and knew he had indeed deduced correctly. "You are correct Miss Weasley, we were wrong to judge you. However, we were a might startled by a additional raising of the wards. I assume that is what happened. Care to explain?"

Ginny drew in a breath. "There is another part of the spell we need to discuss. Where's Professor Snape? He needs to be here."

-------------------------

Snape got word from Millicent on their location, not easily of course, but she could be bought. Draco and Pansy in the Room of Requirement. _Honestly, they were not four hours since their return. Could they not catch up at some other time? 'Can we finish up after lunch Professor? I'm sooo tired!'_ He mocked in his head. _Little snake._

Draco could barely keep up. "Let me smooch get this groan straight…" Draco gasped. "We have to… have sex… or the— oh my God what are you doing to me?"

"The wards could fall if someone kills you, yeah. Yes, right…. there..." Pansy growled, and imagined the four poster bed from before. "That's about it." She bit his shoulder and he moaned a little, laying her into the large duvet.

"And that's what that shaking was?"

"Yeah, oh yes… kiss me th…"

_Great._ Draco was not at all thrilled with the prospect of dying, or turning down a girl so eager for his attentions. _But it was a sacrifice he was willing to make._

Snape flew up the steps and tried to wrench the door open after the requisite number of passes. It didn't budge.

So he began to yell.

"Miss Parkinson, Mister Malfoy come out here this minute!" _Merlin, I sound like my mother._

"Shit! Snape!"

Draco began to move but Pansy, already in panic mode, shoved him back down on the bed. _We have to finish this now!_

"HEKATE!" Pansy's Goddess appeared before the door and Snape fell to his knees in recognition of the greater presence before him. Something very important was happening on the other side of that door. _Merlin, this is not really life or death here. Not like wolves in the forest._

"What the hell is that?!" Draco asked. Light shone through seams in the door and lit half the room in a soft white glow.

"Too long to explain, she's buying us time. Shut up and kiss me! Pass me the… Silencio!" She reached for her wand and cast the charm on the door.

_Thank God this wasn't his first time, _Pansy thought_. _This was actually his third sexual encounter, not that he had any more control for it. He had never had anyone want him this badly and it was intoxicating. Pansy radiated heat and Draco was almost worried things would be over before they started. Draco stopped her frantic attempts to maximize contact. She whined loudly.

"Pansy, let me slow things down a bit," he breathed into her neck.

"Slower?! Are you nuts? Death Eater on the other side of the door, could kill you and… oh my Gods yes! You want to ahh…" She sucked in a sharp breath.

She didn't think, she couldn't. There was just feeling_… And oh please…_

"Shhh," he whispered in her ear, holding her arms lightly above her head, while he kissed her ears, neck and breasts. Pansy was losing all control and he tightened his grip. "Wait luv, wait… Ohhh!"

_So that's what it's like to see her. Beautiful._ Snape waited outside and could scarcely meet the gaze of the formidable Goddess before him. _Hekate__ the goddess of magic. Wielder of magic, a chthonian goddess— she had the power to execute punishment where she saw fit._ _The sorceress Medea called for her when casting dark spells_. Pansy was afraid of him, he surmised. Death at her door.

Gaia did not stir. __

Suddenly the wards shook again and the floor thrummed beneath Snape's knees. _Bloody hell. _The wards raised again, that was obvious. He knew he was missing a piece of the puzzle. It didn't take much to reverse engineer the solution to his query.

The goddess blew him a kiss and vanished as her job was done. The gold key burned hot in his pocket, an immediate call for his presence. Snape turned to leave, reluctant to shirk his responsibility to dispense discipline to students who probably needed punishing… _Hell. Who gives a damn. Damn teenagers._

Snape dashed back toward Dumbledore's chambers taking a shorter back way. There were thankfully a hundred different short cuts in the enormous castle, otherwise the professors would need new knees every three years. _Blasted stairs._

He entered through the side but it was already open. Ginny had been waiting, drumming her fingers impatiently on her arm. The other professors were mysteriously quiet.

"Finally Severus, you are here. I trust Mister Malfoy and Miss Parkinson are alright?" Dumbledore inquired.

Snape made a sour face and sat stiffly in the available chair.

"Well then. We are all here Miss Weasley, please continue."

"First, let me begin by explaining how the five were chosen to stand at five points."

"The five points of the pentacle?" Minerva inquired.

"Yes. We all talked about who had the most desire. Millie of course was the Mistress of Desire so she was honorary. Pansy had some kind of magnetic attraction for Draco that none of us could understand. But three of us had the strongest feelings. Lisa and Terry were dating for a year, no surprise there. Harry and I were getting serious, but we were all surprised when Hermione talked about her feelings. And before you ask, we _don't_ know who he is and for her safety I'm glad we don't. More later on that count." Ginny took another breath. "Pansy was saying before about how we didn't read the entire book before the spell was cast. We thought it was permanent from the outset. _Stupid loopholes._ When we cast, we thought we _all _could remain virgins. The spell, I have to tell you— The desire, is incredibly difficult to fight. Last semester I avoided Harry for _two weeks_ before the spell. After we cast nearly everyone was alright. Our desires subsided after the Yule Ball and all of us were so busy just trying to process what had happened and settling in the shelter. Pansy, Hermione and I didn't notice then we weren't off the hook."

"On Christmas Night, Pansy read further into the book and that's how we found out about what Malfoy's had tried to do. He used the… Haustum Vik…Vig…"

"Haustum Vigor," supplied Snape.

"…something or other and Hermione's blood. It was _hers_ right?" Ginny seethed.

Dumbledore nodded.

"_Bastard._ Anyway, Pansy told Hermione and I that the three of us, since we were the last ones who fell… the ones who resisted the most— had to consummate our relationships with the object of our desire to seal the spell. We knew we had to hide out three weeks to make sure no one could kill us to break the wards, but we had no idea we'd be required to have sex…"

"You're joking. This is absurd!" McGonagall exclaimed.

Ginny huffed in agreement. "I wish I were. The thing is, the spell _wanted_ to be satisfied. If we didn't, Harry or Draco could be killed and the wards would fall. We weren't about to let that happen. At least now Harry and Draco are safe."

"And what about Miss Granger? Why didn't she return?" Minerva asked.

"She… said she couldn't fill the requirements of the spell. You should ask Pansy. She and Pansy were closer about those details than I. From what I know, she is very much in love with someone she either can't have, won't return her affection or whatever. She will not allow herself to be captured and no one knows her secret. No clues, no dating. Nothing."

"What about Anthony…" Remus suggested.

"The Ravenclaw Prefect? _No way_. I had to point out his interest to Hermione. She didn't even notice him until I mentioned it. She practically forced herself to go out with him and right when they seemed to hit it off, they stopped seeing each other around the time the _rumors_ started flying." Minerva crouched lower in her chair.

------------------

As soon as it was over, the world righted. Their breathing slowed, and Pansy regarded her conquest. Reality collapsed back on the pair.

"You have a lot of apologizing to do," she said throwing on her clothes.

Draco's mind was not at all focused and his ears were still ringing. "What?"

"You heard me. I was _vulnerable_. I had no control over my desire anymore and _now I do_!" Pansy ranted.

"But, but…"

"I know you apologized to me and I'm glad, but I still don't trust you Draco. You _hurt _me. You did. And then you slept with that… that _girl_, and threw it in my face the same damn night! And then I had to do that stupid fucking spell one week later, okay? Fantasizing about you, who I both lusted after and hated. UGH! And I _swear _I didn't know then that I'd have to have _sex _with you to make things permanent." She vented like she had wanted to for weeks. _This! This was the conversation._ This was the shouting match she wanted to have before they had sex and now Draco didn't have the strength to yell back. It was anti-climatic.

"So, I'll talk to you later?" He asked sheepishly.

"Count on it." And she left a half naked Draco in the Room of Requirement.

-------------------------

"Just to let you know Professor, the Slytherin girls joined because they didn't want to be offered up to the Dark Lord like a piece of property, a tool to be used. But in the beginning they made it very clear that their participation didn't mean they disagreed with the You-Know-Who altogether. Just when it affected them."

Snape nodded slightly.

"But after what Lucius Malfoy did that day— everyone was just… terrified. And now we're so close, I'm not sure who's changed their mind and who hasn't. But, if I had to guess, I'd say Pansy for sure wants no part of it, and maybe Millie, Linda and Roberta. Still not sure about Daphne," Ginny contemplated.

"Hmmm, Miss Weasley. I imagine this has been a far more powerful time for you than the spell alone could account for, am I right?" Dumbledore surmised.

Yes, sir. For all of us."

"Miss Parkinson is about to join us I believe," he announced.

McGonagall, Lupin and Snape retreated to the alternate room, taking their tea with them. Dumbledore straightened in his chair upon Pansy's entrance.

"Miss Parkinson, I trust you are… _well_," he drawled with a sly smile.

_Eww__, that was just uncalled for. _"So you explained then, Ginny?" Pansy bit out tersely, wanting to be included in that conversation.

Ginny winced and nodded.

"So where did you leave off?" Pansy sighed.

"I believe it's time to hear a little more about those blessings of yours," Dumbledore prompted.

"Oh yeah. Sorry, we're so used to not discussing it," Ginny said. They had left that topic out of the previous discussion of the spell entirely.

"Taboo subject, for safety reasons," Pansy added.

"Don't want to accidentally blurt of the name of your Goddess," admitted Ginny.

"Quite right. Let's start with how many blessings were bestowed," he suggested.

Pansy began. "Fewer than we thought actually. The spell itself doesn't automatically provide us each with the magic of a goddess. The separate incantation is required to pair up people to make it work. Blessings are bestowed, a deliberate action…"

"A lot of us were too stunned from the force of the spell to complete our blessings," explained Ginny.

"And did all of the witches who gave blessings, bless the object of their desire?" Dumbledore inquired quietly. Snape held his breath, not considering that as a possibility, but surprised to find that he wished it were so.

"No way!" Pansy said laughing, a cruel ending to Snape's thought.

"Of course not," Ginny interjected. "We kind of did it based on who was standing closest. I mean, look at Millicent and Lisa. Lisa was the one who blessed Neville and she and Terry were dating for over a year. Millie blessed Terry."

"Daphne blessed Ron," Pansy recalled. "Susan got Seamus…"

"I blessed Harry, of course, and Pansy you blessed…" Ginny trailed off.

"Melanie."

"Melanie?" Dumbledore inquired.

"Oh. If you think after that…" Pansy bit her tongue. "Anyway, no way was I going to bless Draco."

Ginny leaned her head in toward his desk and said under her breath, "They had a falling out."

Pansy whacked her on the arm.

"Ow. At least you _made up_," Ginny muttered under her breath quickly and Pansy glared.

She snapped her fingers trying to remember, "Who else? Umm, hey… Hermione never did say who she blessed." She turned to face Ginny and the red head's jaw clenched.

Pansy thought about it a moment, remembering the ball— seeing Hermione fall, and someone kneeling over her.... Ginny knew she had put it together.

"Professor Snape?! Fuck! WHY?!" Pansy pushed herself up from the chair forgetting completely about Dumbledore's presence in the room.

Ginny held up a hand. "Pansy."

Pansy swiftly added things up. "Oh. Oh! Oh my God. I was right the first time wasn't I? When I saw him walking with Lupin."

Ginny just stared at her and Dumbledore remained silent.

"He's a spy. He is. Isn't he?" Pansy inquired to her sister. She pointed at her. "You knew."

"He was at the top of our list," Ginny admitted. "He's in more danger than any one of us."

"I can't _believe_ you kept this from me! How could you?"

Dumbledore opened his mouth to speak but Ginny continued her lecture. "It was a secret that needed to be kept. There are lots of things I haven't told you, and _you have secrets too_." Pansy turned her back. "Think about it. You're in Slytherin, daughter of a Death Eater. You _needed _to continue to fear Snape. We_ all_ did."

"That's why Hermione was trying so hard to convince me…"

"You can't tell anyone."

Pansy turned to face her. "I wouldn't."

"How was I supposed to know that?!" Ginny exclaimed.

"Ginny, how could you think that I would?! Why did you think Hermione and I started the SOS in the _first_ place?"

"To save your own neck!" Pansy paled. "True, yeah?" Ginny proposed confidently.

"At first… but Hermione's my _best friend_, Ginny. How could you think that I would betray her after all we went through together?"

"Harry parents were betrayed by _their _best friend, Pansy. With the whole purity of the bloody wizarding race thing, you never know. Not _really_." Ginny's voice was serious and low.

"I wouldn't say anything, I swear it. You have my word. I'll swear an oath." She held up her wand.

"You better, because I've got an 'obliviate' with your name written_ all_ over it." Ginny meant business. Snape was inwardly proud of her defense of him, even though his charade as a spy had been uncovered by the 16 year-old girl.

"Miss Parkinson, you are now a part of a very _select _group. I'm sure you understand the importance of _secrecy_ and what is at stake here," the old wizard said gravely. He waved his hand to reveal the three observers, and the commanding form of Severus Snape strode in to regard the young Slytherin sleuth.

"Hello, Miss Parkinson." He pulled up his left sleeve and showed her the mark.

"So it's true."

"It's true, yes. But you must behave as you normally do," Snape instructed.

"I can't believe I wasted my goddess on you," Pansy groaned.

Snape let a smile creep across his features. "That was impressive, and unnecessary. However, it would have been helpful to know what you were trying to accomplish _beforehand_."

She blushed.

"Pansy, can you imagine someone better paired with Hermione now that she's gone? He'll know right away if she gets captured," Ginny professed.

_Snape wished that were so._

Pansy gasped and sat up in her chair. "So do you know about Kendra then?" She asked eagerly.

All of the professors looked at the floor. "Information on her disappearance has not been shared with me. The Dark Lord has been very careful about his assignments lately. I regret that I have heard nothing," Snape admitted.

She sighed in disappointment.

-----------------------

Hermione sat and cried. She was better off. She told herself that she needed to leave for the war, for Hogwarts, for Harry, for Severus. And she was afraid.

She had written her parents and any moment now, she thought, Ginny would be giving Dumbledore the news which would devastate her parents. She dearly hoped they would understand.

She must have cried two hours at least, and finally shook it off and straightened herself to gather bath water. She scooped water into her pitcher over two dozen trips until she was tired. Wearily she dared peer into the cauldron. _Only one-quarter full. Ugh. _She rested for a moment but forced herself back out into the bitter cold, determined to at least reach the two-thirds full water mark before she decided to heat the water_._

Buckwheat would start at the school and work his way outward. He always made the trip through the treetops of the Forbidden Forest, stopping every so often to hide amongst high branches camouflaging hisentry.

She sang, trying to keep her chin up but her breath hitched in places._ "Spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song… A little girl with nothing wrong is all alone. Eyes wide open always hopin' for the sun… and she'll sing her song to anyone that comes along..."_

He knew that sound. Buckwheat swooped lower and lower, breaking through the forest canopy and descending toward the forest floor. He still heard singing, but no sight of Hermione. The music would cut out for a few moments and start suddenly again as she walked toward the riverbank. _Peculiar._

_"Fragile as a leaf in autumn, just fallin' to the ground… without a sound. Crooked little smile on her face… tells a tale of grace, that's all her own…"_

She turned to head back up the slope to the mouth of the cave and reached out to an old tree root to support some of her weight as she hiked up the low hill. Buckwheat swept in to greet her and she screamed. Losing her footing, she fell back into the snow and narrowly missed the stream.

"Buckwheat!" Hermione was never so happy to see an animal in her life. "You scared me to death!" She brushed snow off her cloak and arms, shaking out her half-frozen curls. He hooted his hello and followed her up to the cave. He swiveled his head when he watched her pass through solid stone.

Realizing what had happened to her feathered companion, she reached her arm back through the illusion for him to perch on. He flew to her, landing lightly on the offered forearm.

"Home sweet home," she said sarcastically. "What do you have there?" She took the package from his grasp along with Katie's letter.

_January 15th_

_My dear friend—_

_I had just arrived home this morning to read the Daily Prophet. I fervently hope he finds you soon, safe, and well._

Wherever you are, know I am here to help you if you have need of me. As always our mutual friend is so discreet. Please entrust him with your swift reply.

_At the very least, I hope that this manuscript, now published— provides to you some comfort on your journey. You worked hard for it. We're on back order you know._

_Be well,_

_K.R._

Hermione carefully removed the wrapping to reveal the handsome leather bound book,_ Revitalizing Potions for the Modern Age. _Hermione cried again. The grayish silver seal on black background stared back at her.

_Severus. Congratulations._

Buckwheat hopped to her side and managed to reach out affectionately to the young weeping woman who had been so kind to him. She stroked his feathers and his companionship soothed her. Drying her tears, she took out her quill and inkand penned her careful reply.

_Dear K.R._

Things are very different since Christmas as you will soon see. You gift could not have been better timed and brought me more comfort than you can know.

_Be assured that I am well, but I regret that I will not be able to safely correspond with you as I would like._

_Send back our mutual friend in six weeks and I will send a reply if I can._

_Many thanks for your kind friendship._

She left no signature. Her calligraphy would be enough identification for Katie. She read it several times to be sure, and gave careful instruction to Buckwheat. "I can't use magic to seal this, understand? So if trouble comes, do your best to destroy it okay?"

Buckwheat ruffled his feathers in a huff. _He was no amateur_. She stroked him one last time and she watched him fly out into the distance.

----------------------

At Ginny's request no details of ward breaking risks were discussed with her parents, though she imagined it would only be a matter of time before they found out. It was hard to keep such important details a secret in Order meetings and both Molly and Arthur were very active members. She wanted to keep her sexual conduct private for as long as she could, otherwise Harry would be mincemeat… Boy Who Lived or not— and her mum's reaction would make Minerva McGonagall look downright liberal by comparison.

Molly Weasley took it well all in all, opting to hug Ginny until she couldn't breathe over a motherly lecture. She was terrified at her story of the spell and her stay in the forest, but became tearful, flustered and weepy all over again when she heard Hermione hadn't returned. Arthur remained quiet, and supportive, listening carefully to what was said _and_ what had been omitted, knowing he would need a conversation with Albus soon about strategy. The clear consensus was that Hermione _could not_ remain alone without protection. They simply had to find her.

Dumbledore couldn't put it off any longer as he held in his hands the only correspondence Hermione had sent, a letter addressed to her parents. He hadn't told her parents of her disappearance over Christmas, hoping she would return before he would need to explain. In hindsight, not his wisest decision. He was tempted to open it, but instead gently laid it in front of the snowy retreat. They were likely quite tired of snow, having spent nearly seven months at a cabin getaway for two.

A wave of his wand and he was standing outside of their cottage. Rapping on the wooden door, Wendy Granger was startled to have their first company in half a year.

She hoped… "Hermione? Oh, Professor Dumbledore," she sighed with disappointment. "What a surprise. Do… do come in. I'm sorry," she sniffed. "We've just been missing our daughter. She usually writes for Christmas and the last letter we received was weeks ago."

"Forgive us, Wendy and I have been a bit worried because Hermione has been asking us to pray for her and some other students at school. Usually it's about studies and tests, but the sound of her last letter really worried us. Is everything all right?"

"Let us talk in my office," Dumbledore said solemnly and the Grangers were not at all reassured by his tone.

Soon they were seated in front of him and he was breaking the news. _How much should he tell non- magical parents of a gifted child?_ He decided to correct his previous mistake and tell them the truth.

"Mr. and Mrs. Granger, Hermione and several other students here had taken it upon themselves to shoulder an enormous responsibility. Unbeknownst to any of the staff or their friends, twenty students came together during a school function and performed a complex spell to maintain the protective mechanisms, called wards, on this castle. They made an incredible sacrifice that day, and for their safety decided it would be in their best interests to leave the protection of the castle." The Granger sat in shock, trying to absorb his rather general overview. "For three weeks they lived in secret in a nearby forest. They lived in a cave, and did very well despite meager accommodations. Most students returned just this morning and are in excellent health."

"Most?" Mr. Granger inquired harshly. "Where is my daughter? You were supposed to be protecting her!"

"Magical spells and complexities being what they are, Hermione felt it was not safe to return here. So she has opted not to return and did not tell us where she has gone."

"Oh my God. Oh My God. Robert…" Wendy turned to her husband for support and then promptly changed gears. She would not let fear rule her. "What are you going to do to locate our daughter?" Her face was firm and solid, not a trace of fear, just dedicated concentration. Albus lost a tear as he was looking in the face of Hermione's mother. _So that's where she got it from._

--------------------------

Pansy surprised Professors Vector, Sprout, Snape, McGonagall, Flitwick, and Lupin with the collected homework of twenty girls as taught by their peers. There assignments were completed based on anticipated course objectives from the syllabi they had taken with them, an admirable feat considering their inability to use magic in their absence. What had most impressed their teachers was their submission of class lecture notes from the substitutes. Luna had taught Charms, Hermione taught Potions and Herbology, Millicent and Pansy taught Defense, and Lisa taught Arithmancy. They received praise for even considering to continue their studies even in hiding, but they failed to realize the necessary distraction study had offered them in their confinement.

Other students were occupied most of the day in their classes, though most found it difficult to concentrate on their professors as their thoughts drifted to the return of the lost ones. It had been an awkward day for the girls within the comfortable warmth of Hogwarts walls. Most spent their day unpacking, taking baths, reuniting with their familiars, or napping in their own beds if they could sleep.

Pansy noted that many of her sisters had opted to evade their peers rather than socialize. They were probably avoiding those inevitable uncomfortable questions. _Did you really sacrifice your virginity? Did it hurt? Where did you go? Will the Ministry prosecute you? _And so forth. It was obvious she had to intervene that evening when they left to the Great Hall for their first significant rejoining with their classmates. When Pansy entered the hall for supper she spied a large group of SOS members congregating at the end of the Gryffindor near the head table. They had separated themselves from the group and were talking in low voices, their disconnection from the rest of the school was obvious and noticed by the rest of the student body. There was a sad twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes as he looked on, allowing the senior students to handle it. Pansy looked Ginny's direction and she picked up on her sister's concern. Ginny rose to join her and they walked down together.

Laura, Linda, Roberta, Hannah, Emma, Dora, Orla, Tracey, Felicia and Sally Ann were all seated close together. Pansy noted that they were mostly younger and made note of Orla, who probably felt more of a sense of belonging in this group than she did in her own House. Pansy's standing form could be seen throughout the hall and several others of the group (Daphne, Millie, Natalie, Susan, Luna and Marietta) arrived at her side in support.

"We need to talk."

"Do we need to go to the Room of Requirement?" Laura asked Pansy.

Ginny shook her head. "It's time to go back to being students," she said quietly.

_Oh._ Several of the younger heads looked down, dejected.

"We are still sisters and we're still going to talk and chat and laugh. None of that will stop," Millie said to Orla, "…just because the spell is finished."

"It's time for us to chum around with our classmates and live," Pansy urged. "We did it, remember? We're safe now." She put a comforting arm around Felicia and a lot of the other older girls followed her lead. It was an important moment, and the sincerity in their eyes told one another that they weren't losing anything by parting.

"But, but what do I say… if they ask me…" Emma looked down at her hands. "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything," Millie said firmly. "You don't have to. It's your business and besides… Dumbledore asked us not to."

"Yeah, that's got to be good enough for them, hey! Besides… they were all there. Let _them_ figure it out," chuckled Daphne.

"Let's go," Pansy nudged. And then, in twos, they got up from the table and rejoined their classmates arm in arm. Things wouldn't be the same as before. The change would be good, and they all had made permanent friends.

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Once again, it had been a long day. Snape sat at the fireplace with a glass of bourbon and a handful of potions notes.

He could scarcely take it in. Pansy and Ginny satisfied the requirements of the spell within four hours of returning. That was no doubt planned. The spell may have been damn foolish, but they were incredibly calculated and executed it brilliantly.

Right under Dumbledore's nose.

At least Mister Malfoy and Boy Wonder were safe.

Poor Hermione. Who is she protecting? She is so alone now, feeling she can't come home. He knew what that was like.

That was what this was of course. One big bloody fucking mistake. And Hermione was seeing only one option. Snape knew, he knew what it was like feeling there was only one choice, one way of doing things. One way out, and only he could do it himself. Thinking he made his bed and he'll lie in it.

Hermione had gotten herself into a mess and she was trying to do a noble thing—but a foolish thing. Damn! Stubborn girl.

He took out the Pensieve again. He had spent the whole last term as her tutor, hell she was practically a research peer— and even part of the last summer he had seen her. Who was the object of her desire? If Hermione was in love, how could he could he not notice the signs? Snape wasn't so sure he could recognize it.

Hermione used to show all emotion. She had a hot temper, shouted at him a few times and it amused him when her temper would flare, especially when she was passionately defending an idea or theory.

Her running was wasting good opportunities for research. Good opportunities for life.

When Severus had finally returned to the world of the living, he damn near didn't have a life left to enjoy. He bent into the swirling silvery substance of memory and allowed himself to plunge.

" This is no ordinary love… no ordinary love…

Keep dying for you… keep trying for you…"

He was back at the club, but now able to move freely to the front row to study her expressions. Sometimes she seemed so transparent, clear honesty showing on her face. The subtleties of her expressions could be seen, the fear of watching Malfoy for the handoff, the jarring of reality when she looked at the manager and redoubling her efforts at giving a great performance. She was beautiful, even then. But as Myra Winters she was pretending to be older, dressed in a costume to appear more mature than her tender years. Her actions were exaggerated to compensate for natural youthful disposition.

But today, this morning in the cave, she wasn't pretending anymore. Just like the day of the spell… Blessings of Gaia be with you, Severus. A grown woman was staring back at him. A woman sang at the Yule Ball, a woman sat on his couch submerged in potions research. No wonder he was falling for her.

----------------

She turned the pages of her art, an intimate intermingling of Severus' work and her own. He really was a brilliant man. She read and reread, admiring the effects of the colors used by the printer to achieve the effects of plants with realism, though she preferred the look of the original of course. She should be proud, and when she reached the end she saw he decided to keep her Note from the Artist. It was a high complement for him to allow such a thing, because he was such a private man. She had been effuse with her complements and it meant so much more to her knowing that her mention of Gesupelte was indeed so personal a reference for him.

She felt her cheeks flush touching the leather book. This was his work. He took years probably in writing it. She closed her eyes and thought about an image of him hunching over his work, brewing and scribbling furiously his thoughts on parchment, his magnificent hands flying as fast as his thoughts could come. She lit the fire under the cauldron to heat the water. After fifteen minutes, she put out the fire and let the water cool a bit. Cauldrons were fortunately made so that the inside was insulated from the high temperatures achieved by the outer metal and heat evenly distributed throughout the pot. Hermione reached in and touched the bottom of the pot; and when she felt satisfied she wouldn't scald herself— she took her first private bath in three weeks.

She disrobed slowly, allowing her mind to drift as it had before the Yule Ball, fixated on the object of her desire. Severus. She tugged at her shirt and imagined the cloth rubbing against her skin was him. His fingers, his attentions. She closed her eyes and touched herself as indirectly as possible, savoring the fantasy that his touch, not hers, was pleasuring her. It had been so difficult these last weeks, tormented by thoughts of him in closed quarters with her sisters. Late at night she couldn't manage to sneak opportunities for self-gratification while others slept. Hermione was too vocal for quiet pleasuring.

Now that she was alone she could remember again the feel of his grasp around her wrists, pulling her close to him as he looked into her eyes. She put a toe in the water and stepped in. She wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing, but wanted to maintain her fantasy for as long as she could. Grasping a fresh oval bar she wetted it and began to wash, allowing only the buttery soft texture of soap to slide across her skin. She lingered on the sensitive veins of her neck, the light pressure giving pleasurable sensations as her hands descended lower to her breasts, swollen and responsive from her attentions.

She writhed in the water, her body singing with the echoes of splashing. If he had been there, making love to her in the water, surely it would sound like this. She abandoned the sliver of silk pleasure for her own more experienced fingertips and parted her eager lips to find the aching peak between them. She pinched her nipples as she rubbed small circles with her right hand— eventually both hands found her liquid paradise, crescendos of ecstasy crashing in waves as she reached a higher note still with each passing stroke.

She cried out her lover's name over and over, grateful of the privacy 'silencio' offered, but secretly wishing he could her professions from here.

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**Author's Notes:**

Here's the next chapter y'all, possibly the longest yet. I am overwhelmed by your comments and support. You make it so easy for me to write and help me with loopholes in the story. Thanks to all the reviewers for your enthusiasm, please continue to review and give feedback! Y'all help me decide where the fic will go next as much as my own imagination. I have half of the next chapter written and have a skeleton of the rest of the story. Comments are appreciated!

The song above is from Norah Jones, _Seven Years. _The other is of course the reprint of lyrics from _No Ordinary Love_ by Sade.

Chapter 19 should be posted in a week hopefully less. I need to work on details in the middle of another excellent plot device… I can't wait to see what you think.

mione drac opal- Patience Luke. Use the force. I'm updating as fast as I can! Thanks for reviewing.

Sarah- Thank you, you reviews just in time for the update!

CJ Black- Hey! Congratulations on your graduation! Thanks awesome, you should be proud of yourself. Bet that's a load off. And Bless Me? Bless _you_ for reviewing!

lark277- Thank you for your review! Glad you're enjoying it.

hp-princess17588- Great, thanks! And did I read the DaVinci Code? But of course. That's where I got the idea for the pentacle (the sacred feminine rocks…) and for Hermione's ambiagram. It was fascinating. If you haven't already read, please consider reading Dan Brown's earlier work about Langdon in _Angels & Demons. _Just awesome stuff.

Kit- Thank you, and here's the next part. This is as close as you're gonna get to SS/HG getting together anytime soon. Hermione is isolated! No contact! Please R&R. What would you like to see happen next? I'm dying to know… Chapter 19 halfway written… will post again soon, soon!

racheldiego- Cliffhanger! Haha! Here's the next part. I will return to the Burden of Sight, but that will take some work to immerse myself back in that world. Permanent hiding—good guess, you're dead on. Think about what happened to Ginny and Pansy when they returned to school. They barely made it to Dumbledore's office the first time without shagging the OOD (objects of desire) senseless. Pansy wasn't in danger before the consummation, it was Draco who was in danger (not to mention the wards). But 4 hours to shag is a pretty good timing even by my standards!

Luna Writer- Thank you for your feedback, I'm thinking about taking out the disclaimer (re: religious content) I wonder if that had turned some people off the fic before they even got started. And thanks ofr the observation about Poison Oak… what's a good substitute for the correction? (Do they have Poison Ivy or Sumac in Europe?) I bet a lot of funky things grow in the Forbidden Forest, I suspect the seasons aren't even normal, but I don't want it to seem too far out of reality. Thank you for your insightful reviews!

wackoramaco87- Bon soir Baby! Thank you, I enjoyed writing Chapter 17. The poem was a re-post from an earlier chapter, and yes it is my own work. HP Lexicon can be found on Google. The website is www.hp-lexicon.org An excellent source of Harry Potter facts and minutia. (I addition to all of the great fans who keep offering their expertise!)

franflutewitch- Ah but we love Severus, the sexy dark knight… but he doesn't know where to lead his horse. This story will be lasting and despite popular suggestion, Hermione will not be joining a convent. As for Pansy's blessing now you have your answer. Draco doesn't deserve that! Thank you for your unwavering support of the fic. Your words of encouragement are wonderful.

steph2bwld- Ah, sorry. I know. Cliffies make it more interesting though yes? And by slow down the pace I mean that I can spend more time crafting chapters worth reading, not that there will be fewer and far apart. breathe Not at all.

Now Hermione has an emergency portkey from Luna, just in case she changes her mind or danger finds her. She made here own portkey to get to the alternate cave, and Dumbledore addressed the Ministry tracking with Remus and Severus in this chapter. Boy you keep me on my toes! Does another cave qualify as the boonies? Where are you from anyway that you use the word boonies? Are you a Southern Belle like me? smile

Hope you like the bit about Pansy & Draco working it out (so to speak) and Pansy finally figuring out about Snape. And dear Severus isn't stupid, but it has been so long for him since he's had any real intimacy (I believe a previous chapter touched on purely physical relationships or one night stands. The women may find him irresistible and mysterious but he never lets anyone close enough to really know him). He doesn't think someone like Hermione would want him because a) she's his student b) he doesn't really believe he's worth being loved. Still trying to redeem himself. He think if his life was ruined, at least he can prevent her life from being ruined as well.

And see? Buckwheat did find her though he's too stealthy to betray her whereabouts. I love Buckwheat.

Thank you for the book recommendation foe Writers' Market, I will definitely be checking that out. And as always thanks for your thoughtful reviews and encouragement. It is much appreciated.

Thursdayschild83- Thank you thank you. Ands thanks to WIKTT. I didn't realize that I would become a hardcore HG/SS shipper too. But here I be. And here's the next chappie!

Maxy- WOO HOO! And Buckwheat would never—It's in his code somewhere. Like the Air Force, Marines or something. Here's the new chapter, thank you for reviewing!

KarySky- Cool! Are you still in Quebec City? One of the best times I ever had with my husband was breakfast (coffee and croissant) at the Zenith. So beautiful. I miss it. Please eat some maple ice cream for me! Good luck with your story and I'll read it and return the favor of reviewing! Don't sell yourself short. I had no comprehension what I was in for when I first posted. The support is overwhelming.

Lori- Thank you so much for your glowing review! (Big head here.) Here's the next installment. Let me know what you'd like to see happen next!

Min Hee- Thank you for your review! Hope you like this chapter as much as the last!

Crissy- I hope this chapter answered your questions. That stupid spell really painted her into a corner. HG and SS won't get together, not the next chapter, not chapter after next. It will be at least 5 chapters maybe more. Ugh… you will have to wait and see! wink!

Kylara- Snape and Hermione don't get to talk, they just get to keep saying goodbye. There is little more on the book… well, maybe a little. Why let Ginny suffer? She deserves some happiness and some relief from her nagging yearnings. Hermione = self-sacrifice and does it surprise you at all that the same now holds true for Severus. So if we go back to postulates in Geometry. If HG=self-sacrifice and SS= self-sacrifice then HG=SS! So much in common there… I'm glad you like the bits with Draco. He has a lot going on. Currently doing more research on his character. Trying to find out when his birthday is, if known. Thanks for your review!

theSU1C1Dequeen- Thank you and now you have me wanting to read Heart Over Mind again, thanks! Frustration is good. Strong emotions are a good sign of a compelling story. Hope I can keep it up!

saturngurl123- Thank you, I can't remember when I decided to add the goddesses. They really have their own story. Severus won't find out for awhile. I know the secret of her calligraphy is killing everyone! Buwahahahha!

MA- I feel that any reply I send you cannot compare to the FOOT of parchment you sent me! I love it. No particular reason about Sev telling V about Pansy, he was going to find out and it's not a good idea to lie to him when you're sitting that close. And as for the goddesses, they are cool… but mainly dormant until they are called or sense danger. No inner monologue etc.

And you asked about safety precautions… HA! What safety precautions? Harry and Draco are now safe and Hermione (and Snape, though no one knows it) are both in danger. And I hope this chapter answered some questions about Draco… can't really grovel, he's a good kiss…ass. He will be apologizing and we'll see his relationship with Pansy change a bit.

I'm not sure I understood what you said about the transference of pain with the bonding… there was only the blessing and the women endured all the pain themselves. They didn't share it with anyone. Harry could only empathize. And you are too good with your questions about Dobby, I swear nothing gets past you! And as you see Dobby plays no role in where Hermione goes next, she's going solo. And he does get interrogated by Snape and Dumbledore.

Peace of mind for Remus and Snape is knowing everything is in its place and that means knowing where people are and what their status is. This was something they couldn't fix, although they wanted to. And not to over-generalize, but many men get very frustrated when they deal with strong emotion related to problems they can't fix. All I can say regarding Hermione finding peace is that you'll have to wait and see. Her journey will be an interesting one.. your theories re: the convent were interesting but no. Hermione wouldn't put Muggles in danger by hiding out there.

Love your questions about Pansy and the group. You inspired the paragraph about the SOS members at the table eating alone, being confronted by older members to rejoin and that they wouldn't lose anything by parting. Pansy's going to hang with Gryffindor for a while until she gets the Draco thing under control. She's a bit worried about her reception in Slytherin house. And I think I told someone else too, but no one can put Snape and Hermione together. It makes no sense to people, like a potato and luggage. It doesn't fit. He's the greasy git, she's the Gryffindor know-it-all… no way.

I refuse to talk about Katie. (You will see more of her). I love her character, which she had more of a role in the story, but I can't keep her in constant contact with Hermione because it would make her journey to easy, and we _need_ strife. Ah, we are so eager to get our couple together but it will take more time. Thank you so much for your lengthy reviews! I am honored to read them!

Wytil- Yeah, Albus I'm sure has many ways to detect trouble, but I'm not at all sure about how he knows where students are when they are in danger. He's always been keeping a close eye on Harry. And I've come up with a clever way for him to check up on Hermione in a future chapter… if she's desperate enough (tease, tease hint, hint). Thank you for your feedback and please review below!

Pandora Nervosa- Thank you and I don't really think a chapter is finished until it's at least 8000-10,000 words long! Don't want to cheat you! More to come… Please review!

Athea Grey- Thank you and Hermione is up to safety! And yes, they "got it on". Was that fast enough? Oh no, painkillers… hope you're okay! Tackling is good. Like the suggestion. Right now, Hermione has to settle for wild fantasies.

Tiffie101- She is smoking garden variety tea leaves, and is high on desire. Think about Pansy and Ginny's recation to their Objects of Desire. Hell, Severus wouldn't have a prayer if she went back now. More on reasons why Hermione can't return later… Hermione is stubborn, she wants to save the world, and herself from heartbreak. She doesn't want to kid herself in to believing someone like Severus could love her, he hadn't shown the slightest interest. Thank you for your reviews!

Beky- Aww, unrequited for you? So sorry. Someday your prince (or princess) will come… Thank you for your reviews! And do you like that she's still out in the forest… no one would guess that she'd do it twice!

Nakash Mekashefah- Thanks about the Gaia reference! And here's one more with Hekate. Thanks for your thoughtful review! Enjoy!

alicat99- Thank you, thank you. I howled when I read your review. It is pretty hilarious isn't it? Now Draco and Harry are off the chopping block. Curses! (Voldemort thinks). More soon.

Alarase- Thank you, I'm glad you felt a range of emotions when reading it. This is going to be several more chapters long 5-10? Who knows? I didn't explain it, but for some reason I though Lupin wouldn't be blessed by virgins… The whole dark creature thing is probably incompatible with it anyway but I couldn't figure out how to write it so that would flow. And here is the next update! Again click below and let me know what you think. I live for feedback! Thanks!

Ezmerelda- Yeah, I fear for her too. It ain't easy being alone. It does occur to her that he is in danger, but less without her there. And Draco was forgiven briefly, if only for Pansy to recapture a shred of sanity. He was brushing a piece of grass from morning potion collecting when he had the idea about swabbing the letter. I'd love Katie to correspond with Hermione but a) that's too dangerous b) Hermione needs to be alone c) works well in the story As always thank you for your reviews! I greatly respect your opinions. You've been with me since the beginning!

kat6528- Woo hoo! Thanks for your feedback. And poor Hermione is right. Lots in store for our leading lady. Please review! What do you want to see happen next?

June Williams- Hey there! Thanks for reviewing! Severus didn't know about Draco, and Harry the Dark Lord wouldn't dare go near. Harry stayed behind for the holiday anyway and he was safe at Hogwarts. Lucius would sacrifice Draco only if there was something in it for him. Lucius is probably too vain to sacrifice someone who looks so much like him. Bastard.

Tabii- Severus needs a hell of a lot more physical contact than a hug can provide. Hope this Chapter satisfies your need to resolve the cliffie! As always, thank you for your review! You rock!

Corrie- Thank you, and yes and no. Severus wants to go after her, but where? Dum..dum.da…

Rosmerta- Where's she gonna go? The forest. And no one would put the Gryffindor know-it-all and the Greasy Git together. And shame on you for using your gift of Sight… You sure I shouldn't be calling you Trelawney with your last review? Thank you for you reviews! I look forward to them!

Athena Linborn- Thank you! And happily ever after won't come easily. And what do you mean by hurt? Kill, maim? Crucio… ah the possibilities… And I do update soon!

Shabopo- Thank you for biting the bullet and reviewing! That wasn't so bad was it? Thanks for the complement about the poetry. It doesn't come easily to me at all. Pansy has no clue and neither does anyone else. Hermione has been very tight lipped and few people if any knew about her independent study. The resident bookworm was all school and no play. I will try to work on Daphne, there is a bit in this chapter, but I will probably show her comforting Ron, who plans to sulk and worry and be a prat. Will Daphne stick around for that? BTW Daphne is a real character in the book, though she isn't described and she has no house affiliation. Thank you for thinking this isn't sappy. Shoot me if it gets too sugary… I will try to keep the standards up!

michelline- Voldemort knew more about what Severus said before he said it because Voldemort is a wickedly intelligent wizard and had read that entire text front to back. The sundae will be built slowly and you can enjoy it later… grins evilly No more cherry. D'OH! Sorry about the bad pun… couldn't resist.

White roses for me- Tee hee! I had to do it. And it will be going on for a while. The next chapter is half finished. Thank you for reviewing!


	19. And Miles to Go Before I Sleep

Disclaimer: Come on now! This is FAN fiction. It means the original ain't mine, never was… never will be. Duh.

**Chapter Nineteen: And Miles to Go Before I Sleep**

Fudge was pleased but a bit disappointed that he could not credit Aurors with their safe return. Dumbledore did not mention Hermione Granger's absence and did not alert him to the wards' weaknesses. If the Ministry knew, everyone in Europe would find out by breakfast.

Classes resumed without comment and parents' minds were put at ease. All in all, the girls had mostly caught up with their classes, except Transfiguration. That was a practical discipline and no sticks could substitute for their wands. They met as a group with Professor McGonagall and quickly learned to vanish mice (for the fifth years) and transfigure a chair into a desk (for the fourth years). Sixth year students learned the form of their Animagus, should they choose to pursue transformation. Minerva was astonished at their rapid progress with such advanced magic, these young ladies were focused in a way they hadn't been before the spell.

After a few days of noisy chattering, everything appeared to return back to normal. The Headmaster had turned away all reporters. He would give no story except to say that they had returned. In turn each of the students had the opportunity to come and discuss her experiences during the spell and in the cave. He had lifted the girls gag order, with the request that they not go into too much detail of the spell. He was somewhat surprised to find that they didn't want to discuss it with anyone at all.

With each passing story of survival and sacrifice, Dumbledore was feeling prouder still of these young women as they discussed how they overcame personal obstacles, wrestling with the consequences of secrecy, contemplating giving up their virginities just to remain safe, and after seeking shelter in the cave—how they coped with the knowledge that Hermione would not return. Very few girls became privy to the knowledge of the ward's alternate weakness. Pansy did not want anything else to distract the girls from their studies by piling more concerns on their shoulders about circumstances out of their control; they had born too much already. So only Millie, Daphne and Luna were informed of this in addition to Pansy and Ginny. In fact, they wholeheartedly supported her decision to leave knowing that she was truthful about the spell failing. If Hermione said there were no other options, they took her at her word. They were deeply concerned about their friend, but not at all interested in looking for her.

Harry of course was a different matter. He came to Dumbledore's office the next day asking to see Hermione's parents. "We have to put out some contacts for her to know we are looking for her! Then if she sees these people, they can at least give us word of her safety."

"Miss Granger made it abundantly clear she does not wish to be found and not to come looking for her Harry…" Dumbledore began.

Harry interrupted his thought. "How can you say that?! I know she's mature an' everything, but we just can't leave her out there! She's just being stubborn, and needs our help whether she wants to see that or not…"

"My dear Harry, you didn't let me finish. I agree with you." Dumbledore floo'ed Molly and moments later, Doctors Wendy and Robert Granger were seated beside Harry. The Grangers had enough of isolated cabin life, and they were relocated to an alternate location at the Burrow.

"Harry, so good to see you," said Hermione's mother.

"Dr. Granger, I am so sorry about Hermione. I really wanted to do something, and given the circumstances I think the Muggle way would be best," Harry proposed.

"No police of course," Dumbledore interjected.

"Why not?" Robert asked.

"Because there may be links to Death Eaters. We won't have any guarantees that any information could not be leaked. Their radio frequencies can be monitored," Dumbledore explained.

"What we should do, is make a list of all of her friends, family, acquaintances, and hang-outs. She's not going to be hiding in the wizarding world. It's too dangerous, and after the press, too many people would recognize her. She's going to be fading into the Muggle world, I'm sure of it." Harry made each statement like a personal conviction.

Many hours later, Harry had prepared an exhaustive list and had prioritized it based on where he would go. Either accompanied by Lupin or Snape, he started with obscure friends, places he felt others wouldn't check first. He went personally to meet each contact and one neighbor had recognized his name from Hermione's conversations about school. Harry felt a little jump in his heart at the mention of their friendship, he felt he had a connection. This friend had been particularly upset at Hermione's disappearance.

"It's not like her to do that, I don't understand it. You swear she wasn't kidnapped?" asked Jake.

"I'm positive. But she is in a lot of danger. Please contact me at this number right away if she comes to you or contacts you in any way. We just want to make sure she's okay." Harry explained. _Maybe Hermione would come here._ Hermione's childhood home was still being watched and wards were still in place on their home.

While Snape was disgruntled over Albus permitting Potter to coordinate part of the search, Dumbledore was actually pleased with his decision. Harry was very motivated, was taking responsibility, and having the opportunity to help in this way would curb any reckless attempts at heroism by Harry and Ron.

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Pansy was stunned the next day when her mother, Patricia Parkinson came to school alone. She took her aside and hugged her. Pansy couldn't remember the last time her mother had held her so tightly. It irritated Pansy a bit, that her mother was the gushing, doting parent now after permitting what had transpired last summer.

"You can't know," her mother said, "how happy we were that you are finally safe from the Dark Lord. The Headmaster explained it to me. Darling, I'm so sorry you had to do this at all." Her mother's face streamed with tears and all Pansy could feel was anger.

"Why is that? Why now are you so glad and not last summer trying to hide me or something?!" Pansy scoffed. "Is Dad angry that we ruined ol' Voldie's attempt to break into Hogwarts and kill us all?"

Her mother slapped her across the face for her casual reference, immediately shocked she had done so. "Do not say his name! How _dare_ you!" She hissed.

"What?! WHAT! He's an evil, sadistic bastard and I can't _believe_ you'd support him!" She cried.

"Pansy Parkinson, you do not know every little thing in our family," Patricia defended angrily.

"What's to know, except secrets and pretentious parties you hosted all of my life? I don't want to come home, mother. Not ever. I'm not going back there and I'm not talking to father ever again!"

Pansy's wide-eyed mother was both incensed and afraid. She grabbed her defiant child by the shoulders and pulled her to a seated position beside her. "Pansy, I am your mother and you will _listen_ to me. When I married your father, he hadn't taken the Dark Mark yet, and things appeared relatively simple. We were raised in pureblooded families and most of our friends were pureblooded. I didn't notice then how strongly he felt about Muggleborns. In fact, until he joined, I don't think he did either. Marriage is for _life_, Pansy—so if you get married you make absolutely _sure you know_ what you're getting into. Discuss _everything_, nothing is too trivial. Once I was in, there were… expectations of me and I did them. That's why there were parties and revels, cancelled vacations and late nights for your father. You think I chose that?" The words were tumbling off her lips from her chest weighed down with so much secrecy over they years. This was the first real conversation she could remember having with her mother in a long while. "At least Kendra's mother attempted to hide her for months, but…"

"Kendra? You know about Kendra?" Pansy leaned forward worried.

"Her mother was found and Kendra taken probably some time last October. They murdered Kendra's mother for it, Pansy." Patricia hollow voice shook with fear. "I could only hide you at your aunt's until school. Patrick wouldn't let me leave with you. And before you think your own father would want you dead, he really has no choice in the…"

"No choice? No choice? He had a choice back when he first took the fucking mark!" Pansy's eyes filled with frustrated tears. "I'll give you choice! Twenty girls just sacrificed their virginity to save Hogwarts from something that should've never happened! That was their choice, but they could've chickened out to save their own skins and just got shagged. We went up against Malf…"

"Lucius Malfoy?"

Pansy had said too much. _Shit._

"He's in terrible shape, Narcissa said he was recuperating for weeks over Christmas." Patricia said unsteadily.

Good, fucking bastard. "We didn't do that… That wasn't us mother. Don't mention about him to anyone, okay?" Pansy was quickly trying to undo the damage she'd caused.

Her mother looked strangely at her, and hadn't the foggiest idea what her daughter was getting at. It became obvious to her she hadn't been told everything. Gods, what did you do?

"Pansy, I won't make you come home, if you don't want to," her voice broke. "I can set you up somewhere else or maybe Dumbledore could, with my permission. I'm sorry this hasn't… that you're life hasn't been what you'd like." Patricia dabbed a hankie to her red eyes. Pansy finally relented and hugged her mother. It was awkward, but a new beginning as much as anything. Pansy hoped things with her mother could be better, but she just could not be sure. This wasn't the open, loving parent she'd had all of her life. She didn't know who this woman was, so her only conclusion could be that she wasn't real.

Later on, she entered the Great Hall for dinner and passed up the vacant seat beside Malfoy for the end of the row. She wanted to eat alone. When she saw Draco, she immediately thought of her mother's conversation that day and of his father's health. She suspected Voldemort had punished him, maybe for failure. _Who could guess?_ Her father also had come home unable to walk at times. One time she remembered, mother had to feed him nothing but broth for a month. They never talked about it, but Pansy knew who had been responsible— Voldemort. _Why should she have any love for him? _ Instead of eating, Pansy placed a hand on her throbbing temple. She wasn't feeling well.

Before she knew it Millie was at her side, sitting beside her and not with some crude remark but with genuine concern. "I didn't see you much today. Are you alright? Sorry, strike that. Stupid question. Are you _going to be_ alright?"

Pansy let out a puff of air. "Yeah. I guess so." Millie got the message and left her to eat in silence.

Severus Snape noticed the exchange from the Head Table. Pansy was definitely not the same girl from last summer. She hadn't lost her spark, but had become hardened, like tempered steel— cautious in a way she had not been before. He watched her the previous evening with the other SOS members at the head of Gryffindor table, she had almost mothered them. Millie too, they were learning to lead and parent these girls in ways they themselves had not been shown. The girls, all of the girls, not just the Slytherin peers, looked up to Bulstrode and Parkinson since the ordeal. _Perhaps The Order has new allies_. If he had been asked last year who would be inducted into the Death Eaters after graduation, Millicent and Pansy would've been on top of his list after Malfoy, Goyle and Crabbe. He watched as Draco approached her. Knowing what had transpired and Pansy's bitter remarks about not blessing Draco, he wondered how this would turn out.

He slipped into the seat next to her. "Pansy, I don't know what's bothering you today. But if you want to talk…"

"I don't have anything to say to you, Draco," she hissed under her breath. "I need to be _alone,_ and that doesn't require anything of you except _your absence_."

The comment stung him, but for all Draco knew her cold statements could have nothing to do with him. He departed quietly, but left a small note behind.

She noticed the message after he left and angrily scanned it. _Will be on the labyrinth bench beside the tuberoses until eight if you need. D_

_Great._ She didn't know what to tell him. She was too exhausted to care. Hermione had really been preoccupying her mind and wished she had a way to talk to her. She had been her ear all of these months and like Kendra, she'd lost her too. Draco was still in the dog house and she didn't really want to banter around the bush about relationships and trivial crap when there was still so much more going on.

She barely ate anything and opted for tea. Discarding the cold dregs on the table she walked the grounds and before she knew it she was walking toward the creeping vines where Draco was waiting for her. _'What are you doing?'_ Her breath was visible in the winter air as she argued with herself. She turned around and went back toward the entrance, then doubled back determined not to chicken out.

Gravel crunched under her feet signaling her arrival to a surprised Draco. "I thought you wouldn't come," he said.

"I didn't expect to either." She paced. Draco remained silent, she had too much on her mind for him to interrupt her thoughts with his own selfish concerns, his own fumbled apologies. The best apology he could give her would be to be a good friend. His father had been a slick talker, saying everything politely with a silver tongue, the eloquence of a shrewd liar. Draco wanted to be the genuine article. It pained him immensely that he didn't know what was real about his own father.

"My mother came today and it's like I don't even know her." Pansy turned away from Draco, unwilling to show glassy eyes. "She came to see that I was okay, but it's like— for months she didn't seem to even care, so I'm thinking— 'why now' mother?"

Draco stood and held out an embroidered handkerchief with his initials. "I haven't felt like I've known my father since You-Know-Who came back. But I've been looking back farther than that, and now I'm wondering if I even knew him at all."

Pansy faced him and met eyes that matched her own. _He does understand. And it isn't bullshit_.

--------------------

Harry carried his cell phone everywhere. He'd picked one up the same day he pounded the pavement, talking to Hermione's friends. Frequently he would reach into his pants pocket to check it for messages, as if the contact with his hand would somehow activate the ring. Hermione led a different life in the non-magical world and learned many details about her from Muggle friends than he had not known in almost six years of friendship. Before going away to boarding school, Hermione used to swim competitively at her school—he had seen the pictures taken with her childhood friend. Jake talked freely of their friendship and they'd known each other since they were six. Jake knew she sang… practically the first thing he mentioned. He attended the same church as she did, went to mass with her on Sundays during the summer. He even gave Harry the name of the club where she sang once, suggesting she might go there to make some cash. Harry sometimes felt like he and Ron were Hermione's closest friends, that no one knew her as well as they did. After talking with Jake, Ginny and even Pansy, he had to accept that was not entirely true.

There was no word, and Ron sulked quite a bit, distracted by the absence of their third musketeer. It was disconcerting to see life at Hogwarts go on without her. Daphne walked with Ron out to the gardens after dinner and let him vent.

"I can't believe she wouldn't even let Dumbledore try to help her!" He huffed. _Bloody mad she is…_

"Ron, she's doing what she thinks is best for everyone. She really wanted to come back. She was so worried about how you and Harry would take it," she soothed. Daphne really had a soft side to her, but she wasn't used to playing it up so much.

"I'll tell you how I'm taking it," Ron grumbled. "I just wish you could pass along the message to Hermione so she'd know! She doesn't know what we're going through! Her parents must be beside themselves!"

"Ron, stop it. There is nothing we can do about Hermione leaving and we can only hope that she is safe and will send us news soon. But hope for her to call us or let us know she is okay is purely selfish. I'm sure she's fine." Daphne looked straight at Ron and nudged him a bit to wake him up from his pity party.

They walked in silence a bit longer until Ron gathered up the courage to ask her what had been on his mind since her return. "Um… Daphne? When Ginny came back she was all…well, um she was…" he stammered, gulped, and blushed.

Daphne got the picture. "You mean she came here and attacked Harry because she was randy?"

Ron looked shocked and flushed pink. He hadn't expected her to say it like that.

"What? It's the truth… oh. You're wondering why I didn't maul you." Daphne snickered a bit, then bit her tongue that she'd laughed at him. Ron blushed more furiously. She laughed some more. "I'm sorry, Ron. You're attractive and all, don't get me wrong. And I like you, but the spell of desire wore off after the Yule Ball. After that only Hermione, Pansy and Ginny were affected."

"Does that mean you're not attracted to me anymore?" Ron blurted out.

_Merlin, so insecure!_ "No. It means that I don't have the added pressure of some spell making me want to shag you senseless in the middle of class." Ron laughed a bit and realized she was serious.

Boys. Daphne held his hand and continued walking. She had to get over this mushy stuff. It was making her sick.

-------------------

It was the end of the second week of school and Friday evening the mark burned black again. Voldemort wanted answers. Thankfully, Snape had a few to give him. He just hoped he wouldn't shoot the messenger.

"My Lord," Snape knelt.

"What news do you have?" Voldemort asked with squinted eyes.

"They have returned to Hogwarts in good health. The girls knew of the wards' vulnerabilities, and returned the spellbook to Lupin."

"So they are not unprepared. And what do you know of the objects of their desire?" Voldemort salivated.

"Weasley and Parkinson consummated their relationships immediately upon their return," Snape said angrily. "Told Dumbledore, desire _made _them do it," he added distastefully.

Voldemort let out a hiss, "I am certain it happened that way. This is no ordinary spell, but you left someone out. What of the Mudblood?"

Snape dreaded this. "She did not return, my Lord. No one knows where she is, she told no one. Dumbledore is furious."

"I wonder why she didn't return…" Voldemort thought and Severus clenched his jaw in anticipation of the next order. "Excellent. She wants to go it alone does she? She knows she's being hunted. Perhaps she has a Muggle for a lover."

"I do not believe so, my Lord." Snape felt the need to provide more information. If the Dark Lord thought she may have a friend on the outside then potential contacts for Hermione would be killed, and she would have less opportunities on the outside.

Voldemort stopped his pacing and turned on the younger wizard, "Indeed? Go on."

"The girls indicated the reason for her return was that she couldn't complete her portion of the spell…"

Voldemort laughed, his cold cackling chilled Snape. "That means when we find her, Dumbledore will fall. The wards will be lifted and dreaded Potter will be no more!"

He immediately called an emergency meeting of the Death Eaters and Snape knew was going to be another long night.

Later that evening he returned to Dumbledore's office and discussed the events with him and Lupin.

"Lucius is furious that his son was responsible for bringing up the wards even part of the way. He of course, to save face will insist he take the mark by his next birthday," Snape explained.

"When does he turn seventeen?" Lupin asked.

"April twentieth," Dumbledore said. "I am not certain he is as strong willed and stubborn as he was last year before his father's embarrassing exposure at the Ministry, and after the Yule Ball…"

"I'll talk to him," Snape said. _Though it won't change anything._

"See that you do," Dumbledore impressed upon him.

"We cannot wait," Snape groaned. "They will not stop until they have found her. Hermione used a portkey to leave the cave. Let's at least start there and see if we can trace the charm."

"I'll get Filius," Remus said.

Soon afterwards Snape, Flitwick, Lupin and Dumbledore were in the dark cave with only lanterns for light. Professor Flitwick pulled out a map and removed a large pointed amethyst crystal from around his neck. He muttered a complex charm and held the crystal over the map, while he stood where Hermione had stood. Snape watched in frustration as Flitwick cast a sequence of charms on the crystal, and saw him repeat the effort.

Flitwick grumbled, but almost bubbled. "This is definitely where she cast the Portus charm, but I can't _believe_ she hid her tracks so well. This very advanced magic." The crystal didn't move the slightest bit. "It looks like she never left, like the destination and the departure point are identical. Aurors use this charm in emergencies and I only know a few who are capable of casting it. No one will be able to track her. At this rate if Miss Granger were to return, I'd have her take her NEWTS now and be done with it." He folded the map and shoved it in his pocket.

For once they gave Hermione too much credit. The crystal hadn't moved because she was not but a half a mile away. Such a small map could not show such distinctions.

Lupin sighed. "At least the Death Eaters will have to start at zero too."

---------------------------

In the morning at breakfast Ron munched eggs nearly choking to death on a sausage when the Daily Prophet was dropped on the plate in front of him.

"Bluh..eee," He swallowed a mouthful of food. "Bloody hell."

Ginny grabbed the paper taking a gander for herself and threw it back at him. "It's crap." She continued to eat like she had read nothing, but scanned the room for the reactions of her classmates.

"Hogwarts Heroines or Juvenile Delinquents?" Harry's eyes flashed hotly as he read aloud, " 'The famous twenty students who went missing, throwing the wizarding world in to a tailspin have miraculously returned free from harm. While it was initially reported that they in some way fled the school in fear for their safety, they in actuality appear to fooled us all. They showed up a week delinquent into the school year with no apparent concern, resuming their classes without discipline or interruption as if nothing happened. Perhaps their spell was merely an attempt to gain publicity or attention from peers? So many of the group were outcasts....' Outcasts?" Harry growled harshly.

"Just outrageous. We don't give interviews so they can print any damn fool thing they like and fill in the blanks to sell papers. What rubbish! Don't listen to it Harry, they know nothing," Ginny said, attempted to hide her own frustration which was growing exponentially by the second.

"Oh really?" Ron interjected. "They listed names." He jabbed a finger at the newspaper leaving a wrinkle where his finger used to be. "Look there, Laura and Emma were listed. And there's an exposé all on Hermione. Well, everyone knows she's gone now. Bugger all." Ginny fumed and swiveled around to catch glimpse of Pansy, who was halfway through with the article. She left in an angry mood to approach her friend.

"We need to talk with the others," Ginny said.

"What's to talk about," Daphne said. "We all know it's bullocks. Don't take it so seriously."

Millie answered, "We may be fine, but look at Emma and Laura." Looking over at the other table, they saw them practically in tears over pumpkin juice. "Let's go."

Several of the younger members were about to tear out of the Great Hall before Ginny and Millie could approach them. Then Pansy stopped halfway, whistling loudly through her fingers to get everyone's attention. All students and teachers turned to look at her, and Laura, Emma and Orla stopped in their tracks. Pansy held up her copy of the Prophet and without saying a thing whipped out her wand and set it on fire. With a poof it was gone.

The students quickly got the message and all had been wanting to do something to support the girls, not getting the full story, but knowing that it wasn't contained in some newspaper. One by one students held up their papers and destroyed them as well. The lasting effects of the ward building spell were still visible, the glowing blue pentacle was tattooed on the floor as a reminder of the girls sacrifice. The young students looked around them and Orla, Laura and Emma were approached by members of their own houses welcoming them to finish their breakfast with friends.

---------------------

Night after night he revisited the Pensieve, reliving lessons, Hogsmeade weekends, looking for those subtle clues that might give away her secret.

Severus visited the memory of her stabbing. His heart filled with rage at what he saw and for once he could walk closer to see the heated exchange, hear the conversation— the foul words of her enemy spoken in her ear like a caress. These were the people looking for her, hunting her.

_"I know you're a virgin, filthy Mudblood, and I can prove it!"_

When Goyle stabbed her Snape could barely prevent himself from futile attempt to attack the virtual image of the Death Eater for his transgression. But there she was, calling Goyle by the name his mother gave him. _"Gregory, you don't have to do this…"_

Hermione had offered Goyle other avenues. _How could she be so forgiving? Even in pain she reaches out…_ And that's what she was doing now, the self-sacrifice because she couldn't go through with it. _Why? Was it her faith that made her not capable of completing the spell? Surely not. _ Dumbledore made Severus see there were other options to be considered, so he in return would do the same for her.

He would make her see. _You don't have to do this. There are other ways._ Severus was still looking for that one deed that would wipe out the horrors caused at his own hands. If a bright star like Hermione was so quick to reach out to help her enemy, then he would save her if it killed him.

----------------

Dobby had brought books before her departure, many of them ones she had read before, but she wanted to savor them. If left to her own devices she would devour them in a week.

She finished her unpacking and things were scattered about the cave, taking up as much square space as possible. She definitely needed shelves. She removed the leather strap that bound the last of her books and came upon her Bible. She hadn't prayed in a while and now definitely seemed a good a time as any.

She knelt and said the rosary, asked forgiveness for her sins and prayed for her friends at Hogwarts, for her parents, for the Order, and for Severus. She read a few chapters in her Bible and marked her place. Perhaps she would set aside time for Bible study every morning. She already felt calmer, soothed— comforted. There were some convents who spent a great deal of time in quiet prayer and reflection, a vow of silence which encouraged a peaceful disposition and opened themselves up to God's divine inspiration. _And what place to be better inspired than in the natural world He created?_ She walked outside and smelled the frigid air, as it stung her lungs she suspended the thought of it being painful and instead looked for the beautiful interaction of his creation.

The snow was blinding white, and when she got quiet and perfectly still she could see tracks left over from creatures and rabbits. Winter was a time when so many things appeared dead, but it was still a time of life for the forest. Always in motion. She looked upward toward the sky and squinted for the sunlight.

He was there. She knew it was him. The dove swooped low and landed on a tree stump beside her. _God heard_. A tear of gratitude fell to her cheek and the dove stretched its wings. The dove was a magnificent pearl today with only a little gray. He looked more brilliant against the backdrop of January snow and Hermione was grateful for the friend.

"I am glad you came," Hermione said to the peace bringer. "I would be glad of your visits if you would keep them secret."

The dove warbled a greeting and flew around her. It soared down the path of trees and back again, in a kind of elegant dance. On the return trip he landed at her knee holding a tiny branch in his beak. Hermione retrieved the offering. She had no idea there were olive trees in the Forbidden Forest. _Little miracles everywhere._

Hermione had to find a way to keep herself sane. It had only been two days, and without Crookshanks for company and only ritual bathing to occupy her time she knew she needed to develop her own routine. Every night she was plagued by those images of him touching her face, his voice torturing her with phrases she remembered from his quarters— _Come with me… Lean your head back…Appearances can be deceiving, Miss Granger… _And the more commanding phrases would creep into her dreams, _Stand here. Miss Granger! You didn't touch it did you? _ Taken out of context those expressions would provoke her horribly close to the edge of arousal, and then of course she would awaken to the loneliness of the cave just before her desires were satisfied. At times she thought she was going mad.

So after she woke, she made a habit if praying— and when she did, often the dove would appear to her, though sometimes she thought he frequented just for small morsels provided in such harsh weather. She felt her sexual appetites subside, and peace wash over her after religious study but most especially when the dove visited her. She didn't know why. She didn't question it at all. Hermione occupied the rest of her day in study, mostly Snape's new book which left her full circle. At the end of every day she found herself looking forward to sleep, and to dreams of Severus, imagining that she was not slipping into an empty bedroll but into strong arms of protection, love, and acceptance.

In the morning, it would start all over again.

So she prayed every morning and had a walk afterward. The dove would meet with her every few days and bring her wildflowers from different parts of the forest. Hermione was surprised to see all that was living here, blooming in spite of the freezing weather. Neville would be impressed. Every few days she would find the strength to make the multitude of trips to the stream for bath water and linger in the bath long enough to feel totally relaxed, clean and wash her hair. The Sleekeasy's was running low, so she used it sparingly, opting for soap first and Sleekeasy's in desperation.

She studied her textbooks every afternoon and saved time for additional thought on Severus' book for dessert. She loved the research. A shame she couldn't brew like she wanted, the research had been going so well. As a substitute she spun her own theories, pulling out her notes and expounding on them. Seeing some of her ambiagram attempts in the margins she quickly scribbled those out beyond legibility. Anything could happen even here, and she needed to keep on her guard.

In the evenings, every other evening she permitted herself the luxury of tea, which Dobby had brought for her. As barbaric as a teabag was to many in the wizarding community, she would have given anything for a box of prepackaged tea. So she rationed her supplies, and ate slowly the food she had saved from Dobby's last visit. Some of it had spoiled and she threw it out, reluctantly, but not wanting to get sick. She had packed emergency rations for all the girls for three weeks. They hadn't used them of course, because Dobby came through. After weeks of high protein, high calorie meal substitutes Hermione tried her best not to think about food. If the SOS had to eat these, there would have been a riot.

In the mornings the snow was usually fresh, undisturbed and perfect. That's when Hermione liked it best. Everything appeared so still and she would pick up a book and read.

_The woods are lovely, dark, and deep  
__And I have promises to keep,  
__And miles to go before I sleep,  
__And miles to go before I sleep. _

She read lots of Robert Frost, with so much of his poetry touching on nature. And then she came upon her book of women's poets and cried until her heart ached. She could make herself sick with her dilemma, dwelling on things she could not change.

_O handsome chestnut eyes, evasive gaze,  
__O fiery sighs and falling tears, O night  
__obscurely black through which I wait for light  
__for nothing, O clear dawn of futile days!  
__O lamentations, O obstinate desires,  
__O wasted time, O grief scattered about,  
__O thousand deaths, O thousand nets throughout  
__my life among the worst insidious fires,  
__O laughing lips, brow, hair, arms, hands, and fingers,  
__O funeral lute, viol, bow, and voice!  
__A women's heart always has a burned mark.  
__I sob because of you. Your fire lingers  
__In every place my seared heart would rejoice,  
__Except in you who keep no single spark._

_O interminable desires, O futile hope  
__depressing sighs and now familiar tears  
__endangering in me many rivers, spheres  
__of rain whose source and fountain are my gro-  
__ping eyes. O cruelty, inhumanity,  
__commiserating glance of heavenly rays,  
__O chilled heart, early passions. These days  
__I ask, can you still swell my agony?  
__Let Love again try out his bow and pierce  
__me with new fire and stab me with new darts.  
__Let him exact revenge the worst he can.  
__I am so torn in every limb, no man  
__can cut another wound in me, no fierce  
__monstrous attack can find unsuffering parts. _

_ Louise Labe_

She picked up her quill and wrote down her thoughts and observations. Sometimes, it took her mind off that which preoccupied her most. Her desire ate at her every day, slowly eroding her composure and will to stay in solitude. Prayer was the only thing that calmed her. The visits from the peaceful messenger were helpful, but lately she was regretting her decision to stay here, each day seeming viciously elongated and the winter appeared unending.

One thing resonated deep within her. Still in love with a man she could not have and cut off from society, she felt more alone than ever. _Is that how he felt? Alone?_ He didn't appear to have much of a life outside of his work, from the Order and his duties as a Death Eater. He wasn't at all friendly— except sometimes, when they worked in his lab, the snarky sarcastic demeanor was replaced with that of a scholar. She longed to remember those times when he looked so intently at her, his eyes boring into her, listening closely to every word she said. It was thrilling.

But she was his student. _How did he act around other adults? Around people his own age? Okay, besides Remus. _She shook her head. She didn't know him at all. Snape had a life outside of work that he shared with others except her. _Severus was a private man and probably had family, friends, a house… God, a lover. _She shuddered. Why should she assume he didn't have time for such things? Because of how he lived. _Face it Hermione, the man is more consumed by his work than you are._ If he could dedicate his life to fight the dark so could she. He had made sacrifices. It could be done.

-------------------

Harry pressed on with his school work, studying so that wherever Hermione was, she'd be proud. The DA continued, though it was hardly a secret group anymore and more of a focused (but fun) combat training. It joined with Daphne's dueling club, a sort of Junior DA. The older members hadn't quite got the hang of dueling without causing significant injury, so they tried to work on the techniques of the younger students to prevent Madame Pomfrey from heart failure. Ron was quite taken by Daphne's dedication to the group. They were dating a bit, but he could tell it wouldn't work out. She had other things on her mind and dating just wasn't a priority at all.

Millicent and Neville on the other hand were still going strong and could be seen most evenings in the library, and were busted once in the labyrinth for snogging after curfew.

The second DA meeting of the year, all of the Slytherin members of the SOS met them at the door and everyone stopped. Harry had read Hermione's comment about him having additional allies, but admittedly had no idea what that meant. Ginny beamed and they fell in. it was entertaining to say the least. Millicent knew quite a few spells that were more on the questionable side of grey. While many students weren't willing to try them a number of the other students sparred against her just to see if they could block her.

After that, the DA was never dull.

Draco had wanted to join, but he still hated Potter and didn't want to intrude on Pansy. Their friendship was fragile and he was doing his best to be available without smothering her. They didn't talk about the single sexual encounter they'd had, though at times he was sure there was enough chemistry there to ignite anything flammable. The thick wall of air that separated them was growing thin, and he hoped Pansy would soon forgive him enough that he could start again. He dated no one.

Slytherin wasn't really the same and Draco had become preoccupied with his father's demand that he take the mark. Before last summer it was suggested to him, but he at least had the option of waiting until he graduated. When Goyle got initiated, he knew his father wouldn't be shown up and he knew he'd be pressured to do it earlier than he wanted.

With news of the whole object of desire thing, Lucius wanted proof of his unswerving loyalty to the objectives of the Dark Lord. He had no more choices.

Snape had approached him. It did not surprise Draco that he was a Death Eater as he and his father had been close associates. Professor Snape had always remained somewhat cold and detached from his students, except perhaps in need. Other peers had sometimes made surprisingly civil comments about him, their personal experiences shedding a different light on someone so difficult to know.

"Draco, I understand your father has asked you to take the Mark on your next birthday," Snape stated plainly.

He didn't know what to say. "Yes, sir."

"Has he talked to you about what might be expected of you?" He inquired.

"No, sir. C-could you tell me?"

Snape sighed and sat on the divan, offering Mister Malfoy a seat. "Sit. I will tell you what I can, and you will need to decide if your are ready. I know," he interrupted Draco's open mouth ready to blurt out his limitation of choice. "…that your father has asked you to do this out of some ridiculous notion of family pride. But taking the mark is quite serious Draco— Don't use Mister Goyle as a barometer of the role of a Death Eater. Nearly everyone in the school was aware of who stabbed Miss Granger the instant it happened. Discretion is your best ally. And you still have quite a bit of schooling to be getting on with before you open yourself up to the distracting responsibilities of a Death Eater's commitment."

"What will happen at the initiation?" Draco looked on, a litter paler than usual as he watched Snape's expression harden.

Snape clenched his teeth. Truth was he had no idea, so he'd better tell him the worst. Draco might have been spared grueling tasks before, but with current circumstances being what they were, they would make him prove his loyalty. It wouldn't be pretty. "You may likely be asked to kidnap a Muggle or Muggleborn and asked to kill her or him before the Dark Lord. He will require you to cast an Unforgivable, a sometimes difficult thing to do at your age and under pressure. And if you fail, he will cast one or several on you. Cruciatus most likely."

Snape went on and Draco could scarcely hide his disgust. Snape stayed with him, giving advice which to Draco's memory he had never done. Snape made no promises to keep their discussion a secret. For all he knew Snape was sizing him up on behalf of his father. If so Draco feared he failed that test miserably.

-------------------

Every day looked the same as the one before and Hermione found herself falling into depression. She longed for him, and only sheer will prevented her from walking to the edge of the forest for one peek at the castle, at its students— to look for signs of Harry, Ron, Ginny, Pansy and others, visual confirmation of their safety and that life was moving on. She trudged out of her cave and walked, meditating as she went, asking for peace. She had come across a few (a very few) edible fruits and berries. Animals however are not used to sharing with humans this deep in the forest, and she was hesitant to pick berries for herself. She ate very little, if only to savor a different flavor than the nutritious bricks that lay waiting for her back at the cave. Of course, there were gastronomic consequences.

She spent the better half of the day squatting painfully in cold, damp weather.

Going back to the cave with a half-full basket of sour fruit she recalled making pies with her mother, and sobbed into her pillow. The mutual friend remembered her location and flew in without pecking. Landing lightly on her bed, he hooted his hello. She looked up and remembered. _God, had it been six weeks already?_

She looked happily at Buckwheat and dried her tears before freeing the letter from his grasp.

_I am sitting here awaiting news of your good health and wellbeing and hope this letter finds you well. My offer of course still stands, and our mutual friend remains at your disposal._

_The Daily Prophet never fails in disappointing me, I dare not ask the truth of matters yet hope I may hear it from you someday. If you feel you cannot go home, then fly dear. Wherever you go be safe, but send word of your health so that I can rest with the knowledge that you are well._

_Should you return, rest assured I can keep you busy. You shall not want for work. Everyone is clamoring to meet the mysterious artist. Send word soon._

_KR_

Hermione remembered her opportunity was at hand. "Buckwheat, I need you to make a special delivery for me." She grabbed spare parchment and a magnifying glass, and began to print. She was running out of time and had no ideas of where she should go for hiding.

She wanted to say so many things. _'Harry you buffoon, you better be studying! You knew I'd be checking up on you. I love you so much and miss you all. Eat some good food for me because I'm starving out here. Especially butterbeer and chocolate. Oooh, coffee. Ah, but I digress. Tell Ginny and Pansy that I'm well and plan to be moving soon. It's no longer going to work out here.'_ In the end she couldn't say what she wanted but settled for sending exactly what she had promised.

Hermione finished her inner monologue and her tiny printing. She removed the magnifying glass and held it up to the light. _Perfect._

Buckwheat waited until early morning, around five o'clock and flew to the owlery. He hooted for Hedwig and passed the scroll for him to carry. Hedwig ruffled his feathers a bit, never receiving communication this way before. Buckwheat was not at all happy about passing off his work for another to do, but the woman said it was important. Buckwheat barked out instructions and then flew back to the woods to receive Katie's reply and depart for home.

----------------------

"Turn in your texts to page 138 and _'read first'_ the words of _caution _as explained carefully for your safety and mine on this planet. DO NOT BREW until you have read TWICE the instructions, retrieve your ingredients from the table up here. Then measure first, measure again. Read a third time and then, only then begin to brew. Please try not to blow us up, this is Advanced potions. You may begin." Snape's lecture was slow, methodical and deliberate. His deep dripping drawl of caution begged their attention and he always had it. Mostly. They had to move on and Miss Granger wasn't here to keep the class on their toes. Malfoy and Pansy were moving up the ranks of the students now, but could only hope to follow directions, not offer the kind of theoretical conclusions and questions that an assignment like this prompted.

There was a pecking at the window and all students froze. Hedwig was flying at the window and Harry started in his seat.

"Love letters, Mister Potter? I'll get that for you," he said tersely. But the last time the white owl visited him was Christmas. _Would it be Christmas again?_

He unlatched the window and Hedwig flew by jilting Snape for his owner. Harry stood flustered. "I am so s-sorry Professor Snape. It won't happen again."

"Deliveries are supposed to come in the morning Mister Potter, you are not exempt from this rule. Your bird is disrupting my class," he admonished. "Ten points from Gryffindor."

Harry retrieved the scroll and released Hedwig to fly back out the window to the owlery.

"Well, Mister Potter? Aren't you going to share it with the class?"

Harry was getting angry. He didn't do this on purpose. But he was eager to see the note. It was quite small and he opened it. He looked puzzled at first and then his eyes widened in understanding.

He read the short message.

"Excuse me, sir!" Harry bolted from the room abandoning his books.

"Back to work class! Make sure to read twice, before gathering ingredients," he hissed. Snape followed the distressed boy, and found him leaning against the hall outside, eyes glistening with tears.

Snape's voice changed abruptly to one of concern, rarely ever heard by Harry. "What is it? Is it her?"

"It's Hermione, sir." Harry laughed a bit. "She said she'd send word." He showed Snape the paper and his lips curled a bit in appreciation of her one word message.

**WORD**

"Maybe she thought it wasn't safe to send more?" Harry looked at it again, and saw it in the light. There was something strange about it, and he cocked his head to one side.

"Perhaps you should show that to the Headmaster? It could tell us where she might… Is there something else on your mind?" Snape inquired seeing him re-examine his letter.

"Yes, sir. Do you have a magnifying glass?" Harry looked up with a bit of excitement. Snape took him through a side door and into an adjacent office. Opening an overly orderly drawer he retrieved the requested item and held it out for him. Harry squinted through the lens and there it was.

_W: DEARH-HERESYOURWORD._

_O: MUSTMOVESOON.TELLG,P,R,&BIGDI'M_

_R: WELL.STUDYORELSE._

_D: MUCHLOVE'MIONE_

Each letter was made up of incredibly small block letters so close together they looked solid. Harry rubbed his eyes, trying to hide his obvious feeling from Snape. He relinquished both letter and glass, seeing that the spy was as eager for good news as he. "She's alright." _Oh Hermione. Thank God you're okay._

Snape squinted and read. _Clever._

Harry wanted to go out to the owlery, but she wouldn't be there. "I don't know how she did it. Hedwig hadn't left to go anywhere. And I know Hermione wouldn't risk coming here."

"Of course not." Snape agreed. Reluctant to do so, he relinquished the letter for Harry to take with him. "Humph. The Big D?"

Harry laughed. "Guess I need to see Professor Dumbledore. May I be excused from class, sir?"

"It will probably increase my chances of survival today, Mister Potter." He waved him off and while Harry might have felt chastised it was more likely he had just realized the greasy git had made a joke.

_She was alright_, Snape thought. The day was looking better already. _But she said she had to move soon. To where? What did that mean? Was she in danger? _

--------------------

When finally the snow began to break, Hermione raced outside immediately feeling the difference in the temperature. It was late March and the forest was beginning to show signs of the thaw. She found in the distance a bush of new berries, venturing out again for a new flavor. She picked berries slowly and risked tasting one. It was far sweeter than the bitter ones of winter. Hopefully the consequences of tasting wouldn't be as severe.

Hermione could see that her rations would run out soon.

She took a short walk trying to pick herself up from her despair of an unknown future. _She couldn't stay out here forever._ _What on earth had a witch like herself expected to accomplish in the forest?_ She was procrastinating and the war was going on without her. _What of Severus? He was still a spy, still in danger. If he was killed and the wards fell anyway, would she know?_ Hermione figured could drive herself crazy with speculation. Wandering farther than usual, things began to look unfamiliar and she decided it was time to turn back. She heard something snap behind her and spun around, crouching low. _What was that? Where are you?_

A pair of amber eyes glared from his stalking position beyond low bushes. She looked around her and she spotted more eyes, brown fur visible barely disguised by tree bark. She had unknowingly walked into someone else's den and the wolves had found her. _Little Red Riding Hood almost didn't have a happy ending._

Her heart raced and she willed it to slow. She felt her Goddess stir at the threat against her host and she stilled it. _Not yet. I have a long way to go_, she thought. She wanted to back away slowly, but no respect could be shown to this wild untamed pack. Hermione was surrounded.

Several cracks were heard in the distance, something louder than the current predators stalking their prey. The wolves lifted their heads in curiosity, distracted from their previous goal. The wolves started to growl and retreat, and then Hermione saw the herd.

_Unicorns._ They came from every direction, a rare sight to be sure. She wondered if Hagrid had ever seen such a thing. Most were pure white with a shiny silvery sheen to their coats. In all there were twelve, and lastly there was a black unicorn. He seemed almost angry, a horrible emotion to assign to such a sacred and noble animal. Hermione did the only thing she could do. Bow. She knelt low, as low as she could, grateful to be alive and surprised that a herd such as this would dare approach her. They were not aggressive animals by any means. She heard soft whinnying, a beautiful melody on the air.

She was in awe of such creatures, feeling as safe now in the forest as when she prayed. She slowly moved to stand and one of the unicorns neared her. Tentatively she reached out her hand, but the unicorn startled and Hermione backed away, bowing again in apologetic fashion. Hermione had remained innocent, but since the spell no longer possessed her virginity. Tears streamed silently down her cheeks, grieving the loss of her ability to touch such majestic creatures.

They escorted her halfway, seeing her safely home. Over the next days she saw one from time to time, but respected their space. There was a peaceful quality about the air when they were about, and they seemed to bring warmer spring air with them. Sometimes she wondered if unicorns were responsible for the changing seasons of the forest or were merely a reflection of them.

-----------------------

It was the night of the full moon and everyone was frantically preparing for mid-term exams. Remus went out to explore a lead on Hermione's whereabouts, however it turned out to be nothing. He half wondered if it was a plant from the Death Eaters trying to ferret out who the competition was, or perhaps draw Hermione out. There was still a fair amount of rumor going around that Dumbledore was hiding her somewhere safe and sound, when that couldn't be further from the truth.

When he apparated back to the school Remus was running late and unfortunately grossly miscalculated nightfall.

Snape looked up from his grading and saw the goblet of Wolfsbane still smoking on the table to his left. He looked at the clock and heard a distant howl. _Bloody hell._

Snape floo'ed Dumbledore from his quarters, and stepped through to his office. "Get the students inside and lock the doors, quickly! Lupin transformed."

The teachers flew down the steps to the front steps and gathered all of the students who were out of doors, as well as lock and bar all entrances to the school. For many hours, the Headmaster's attention was focused on located the DADA professor instead of the elusive girl.

----------------------

Every morning she prayed and periodically she would be visited by the white dove. He seemed to show up at those especially desolate times, and during her most hopeless moments her burdens were miraculously lifted from weary shoulders.

She could also see, if she was especially still, glimpses of the white unicorns in the herd which remained nearby. The special elements of nature and life around her gave her more of a sense of home than the stone cave and her personal belongings could provide.

She would need to move soon since her supply of rations was running low. After much deliberation and worry, she had finally resigned herself to the alternate plan. Originally it had been the back-up plan for the SOS's escape. It was risky at best, and she worried about the consequences if it didn't work out. In any case, she would know immediately if it wasn't a go, because she'd be caught in a matter of minutes. _Come on Hermione, where's your sense of adventure?_

Hermione had lost weight. She had been rationing her bars and knew she would be needing to relocate soon if only to prevent her from vanishing completely. She used to have a healthy plumpness about her frame, giving her pleasant curves. Her clothes were loose now and her one lone safety pin that had been holding her jeans up broke — it had been a losing battle.

Hermione screamed in frustration at her brush and gave up. She couldn't stretch her Sleekeasy's anymore by thinning her supply with water and there was no more shampoo to be had. Her hair felt… gritty, matted. In short, a knotted nightmare. Bushy no longer described the heavy hellish mass of dreads. "I'm going to cut you off I swear it!"****

She had been screaming these profanities at her locks for three days now, but couldn't bring herself to do it. She itched, her scalp itched.

Everything _itched_.

Hermione was sure she looked like the stereotypical witch of Muggle folklore, the hag with dark bits between her teeth and wild hair with a crazed look, hunched over a smoking cauldron. Pretty close to the mark actually.

Hermione attempted to made her own soap from wood ash, and it was harsh without a single component of moisture to complement it. She was working on that in the cauldron outside, adding the oils of spring flowers to add fragrance to at least give the impression of mildness. It was practically a total wash. _Bah! Wash._

The bath cauldron was spent, and she was now using it to store things. It had been one week since she had taken a bath in it and the filthy, filmy, sludgy residue left behind was too much to bear. She cursed herself for not packing cleaning tools— a sponge, a brush… something. _Honestly, what would Dobby have brought? The house elves cleaned the castle with magic! _Hermione resigned to freezing baths with water from the spring, leaving her with a feeling of stickiness rather than clean.__

Walking into the forest, she hummed a little tune while she tried to divert her thoughts from cleanliness to food. The red fruit on that bush she found tasted almost like strawberries and it seemed lately like her only pleasure. She drooled on the walk, savoring the memory of berries in her mouth already. It was about half a mile from the cave and she knew her way, having made the trip for two weeks. The berries wouldn't last much longer she feared and she hadn't seen any other bushes available for picking.

The berry patch was loaded with fruit. It felt like Christmas had come again and Hermione was determined to make herself sick from eating them. She ate and picked, placing two in her mouth for every one she put in her basket. Time passed quickly and before she knew it the forest was darkening.

"Shit, Hermione! Now you've done it! You can't see a thing!" She hissed stumbling back through the forest toward the cave. She barely managed not to trip over a soft place in the ground and recovered with a curse muttered under her breath. It began to rain. _Great._

Her breath quickened. For some reason she was panicking, and she hadn't felt like this in a while. Not since the wolves.

When the howling came, she knew she was in real trouble.

The large hairy beast was heard and not seen in near total darkness. Hermione had no portable fire and the trees were so thick, they barely permitted the light if the moon to shine through.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she listened for more howling, and heard something sniffing the air. _Damn!_ Hermione remembered her period, and knew the scent of her blood would be enough to tempt predators for miles. _Might as well have painted a target on you that screams, 'Victim here! Victim here!'_

She didn't see him leap out.

And she only felt the breath knocked out of her by the force of the other muscular black animal who charged in front of her path.

She had been thrown to the muddy ground. And when she looked up she saw white. _Lots and lots of white._

The noise of hooves was almost deafening as she heard whinnying and an animal's pained cries of anger and injury. Hermione sat unmoving, for their was nothing else she could do. She was transfixed by the sight before her, the blur of white unicorns sealing her off from the werewolf.

Hermione had passed out at some point and woke up in daylight. She'd been doing that a lot lately, probably for lack of proper nutrition. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she remembered what had happened and stood. A deep circular trench surrounded her where the unicorns had trampled grass and earth to protect her. _To protect her from…_

_Remus!_ Her heart both leapt at the sight of another person, but also felt a jolt of fear run through her at discovery. She both longed for contact with the outside world and yet her isolation had made her wary and apprehensive. She wasn't far from the cave and he needed help. Biting back her fear, she ran for the cave and grabbed her bag, dropping a few things inside and the pomade_. People would come looking for him. _

Hermione ran back to the place where he lay and crouched to face the half naked form of her DADA professor, who was curled up and bleeding on the forest floor. She covered him with her cloak.

Remus opened one eye and then both popped open. "Hermione! What are you doing here?! We've been worried sick about you!" He tried to get up and couldn't.

"Stop that," she said placed a calming hand on his forearm. He was looking more disheveled than ever, with bumps and bruises everywhere with a large angry gash oozing large amount of blood down his back. Only problem was, he wasn't healing. She could feel part of the wolf hadn't left him as a low growl erupted from his lips when she touched him.

"Hermione, you look like hell." His eyes became dark and she was already losing willingness to help him.

"Thank you Remus. But I really don't think you're qualified to make that kind of statement just now," she joked. _He was bleeding, badly. He needed medical attention. Now._

She changed the quality of her voice to a soothing low one, almost a whisper to make suggestions. "We should go to Grimmauld Place so I can treat your wounds. I need fresh water to clean this up."

"Oh no you don't, the only place we're going is Hogwarts," he grunted. Remus was back, perhaps briefly.

"Remus, you can't make the hike to Hogwarts and I can't support you that far. And besides which, I am _not_ going back, just so you know. Let me help you. You're not well enough to argue with me." Her dulcet tones pacified the untamed part of him. "Can you apparate?

"Maybe. Ah!" Remus sucked in a sharp breath and let out a raspy snarl, remnants of the wolf lingered throughout his blood.

"Remus?" Hermione took a tentative step back— her companion wasn't looking too safe at the moment, human or not.

"I'm alright." He said collecting himself.

"Can you get us to headquarters? I need to work on that wound, and I'll need fresh water and supplies."

"What I need is Poppy," he growled.

"Remus, I'm telling you, I can fix you up. _Trust me_." Hermione made eye contact with the tense, tremulous man. "Come on, If I try to get us there, it will alert the Ministry."

"It's rather frightening to hear you say that. I hate it that you're hiding. Do you want to explain why?"

"I'd rather us apparate to the Headquarters and then talk." Hermione handed him his wand which she had recovered from several feet away.

----------------

Dumbledore and Snape had been following up that morning on Remus' failed lead, still worried for the fate of the werewolf. Thanks to the Wolfbane, he hadn't fully transformed for three years. Albus and Severus snapped their heads around when one the Headmaster's many spy glasses whirred to life. "Headquarters."

Dumbledore picked up the device and placed it between them a relieved smile playing across his aged face. Youth returned to his eyes.

"They are safe," the old man said.

Severus looked into the mirror. He jumped up a bit in his seat, ready to retrieve them both but Dumbledore settled him. "Severus, they are fine and she appears well. Let us see what Remus can get out of her before we force her to return. Better that she come willingly. If we force her to come home, she won't stay. You know that." Dumbledore spoke honestly and Snape knew it was true. Hermione was stubborn when it came to doing something she thought was right.

Snape blanched to look at her. She looked awful, ragged, dirty… hair in a mess of tangled earth. Her frame was thin and her tattered clothes hung off her body. For a moment he became angry at the thought that Remus might have hurt her, but there wasn't a scratch on her. This was how she had lived.

----------------

In a moment they were in the park across from 12 Grimmauld Place, and she permitted Remus to lean on her. At least in her cloak he was less obvious, though it only hung to just past his knee. She looked around and people were not quite up yet. Hermione half walked, half dragged Remus to the door. She opened it and managed to get him to the couch. Once he sat, it was far beyond the point of further use. No amount of cleaning would get that blood out. He grunted again in pain.

"Wait here," she said, and he laughed, then winced in pain at the consequence.

"I'm not going anywhere," he murmured.

She returned with a bowl of water and began to clean his wound. She quickly figured she was doing this backward because the blood was still oozing and Remus was beginning to look quite pale. She fished in her cloak pocket for the jar of curative ointment. She hadn't had to use it on herself except to treat a bad case of winter burn on her face, at least it could be useful to someone. While she normally would only expect to use a tiny quantity, she expected the whole pot was about to be used on his skin.

"Oh Remus. What happened?" Hermione shook her head, put the jar between her legs and unscrewed the lid.

"I changed in the forest when I couldn't get back in time to take the Wolfsbane, and was attacked by a… Ah! That stings… large black unicorn." He felt a stirring low in him, the animal was still calling, but hunger subsided when she spoke.

"Oh no. I'm sorry, I think this is all my fault then," Hermione said sadly.

"What is that stuff?" Remus asked looking over his shoulder at the cream.

"It's a healing potion made from virgin's blood," she answered putting some onto her fingers.

"Hermione," he flinched to move away, "you can't use that on me, I'm a dark creature…"

"Remus Lupin, you are not damaged goods! I think that _I_ of _all people_ know very well who I can and cannot use this potion on. Now hold still." He relented and allowed her to treat him though he snarled at her when she made contact with the wound. Hermione could almost cry at the contact, she wanted to hold him… she had no contact except with animals since January. She hadn't expected to feel such a strong sense of loss.

She started at the top and began to work her way down the injury. She decided to attempt to hold his interest through conversation and began to speak low, "You ask me to explain why I left…"

"First I want you to explain… why you think this is somehow your…ah! Fault." He grimaced and fiercely gripped the arm of the divan as she continued her ministrations.

"I think the unicorn knew that you were dangerous to me should you find me and attacked you, attempting to scare you off. Fiery one isn't he? Temperamental." The blood poured over her fingers as she tried to close the wound. It was only half sealing.

"Protecting you? The unicorns aren't an aggressive herd."

"They have been very protective of me since I fled. I've been living in the forest since Christmas." She changed tactics and put the small pot in her lap. Hermione took the towel in her left hand, cream in her right, she tried a two-handed approach, wipe and rub. Slowly the wound finally began to knit together. _Wow, this is more powerful than phoenix tears._

Dumbledore and Snape were surprised she was located so close to home, and a dangerous choice for escape and shelter. Dumbledore was a bit amused at the choice. They hadn't thought she'd stay.__

"You're still in the Forbidden Forest?" Remus was deeply pained by her admission, but she seemed unharmed. This now fully grown witch was quite able to take care of herself.

"Yes."

"Now, why did you leave? Didn't you know we would protect you, Hermione?" His urgent voice was clearer now, and more paternal in tone. He felt better now and his wolfish inclinations were waning as the day came.

"I know you would, but I couldn't stay. It's not safe for me and not safe for anyone else. Hogwarts is better off. Everyone is…" she said with a sigh, thinking sadly of Severus. _At least he is safe. _She wouldn't bring it up, but she hoped Remus would mention him.__

"Almost done." She rubbed additional cream over the repaired wound for good measure. She wetted the towel and cleaned off the remaining blood which was the only reminder of his injury. "I was gathering fruit nearby for eating and there are some plants out there for potions and antidotes, mostly for spider bites. Damn, they are so per…sis…tent." She rubbed his back, now free of wound or scar of any kind and sealed the magic with the finishing charm. She placed her hand a scant inch from the middle of his back where he could feel the heat of her palm radiate toward him. "Finito." His back glowed from her spell and the light subsided leaving the well healed skin, pink from the smears of blood she attempted to clean. She laid her hands on his shoulder blades and rested them there. It reassured both of them and Hermione had not had any human contact in some time. She was grateful for it. She reached in her robe for the object and touched the handle of her bag.

"Hermione, what can I say to convince you to…" When Remus turned to face her she was gone.

Lupin cried out in angry protest, quickly to his feet. He ran bloody fingers through his hair. He had failed. Close enough to touch her and he failed to bring her back. He knelt in resignation on the sofa and pressed the palms of his hands into his eye sockets in frustration.

Snape was outraged. "He should have bloody tied her up and dragged her here!" Snape bellowed. _Damn Albus for saying what he had. Better that she come willingly. If she'd wanted to come willingly she would have returned after Christmas!_

Once again, Dumbledore's youthful look left him as he pondered what Hermione had done. "She prepared well, Severus."

"What do you mean she 'prepared well'? Did you even look at her?" Snape was pacing furiously. He had to do something.

"She appeared in good shape considering the cold winter in the Forbidden Forest with nothing but what did Miss Weasley call them? Oh yes, Power Bars. And by prepared I meant she took a portkey she made in_ advance _of her trip. She couldn't have cast a spell without the Aurors coming. They've been tracking her since January."

Snape had to concede that point, but he wasn't feeling agreeable. She was lost all over again and it hurt.

**Author's Notes:**

Taunting you guys with another cliffie! Hah! But I was nice, could've ended after she woke up and saw Remus! Thank you again for such thorough reviews. I had written a lot of this chapter (particularly the scene with Remus a long time ago and I begin Chapter 20 with a blank slate. Ah that will hopefully take no longer than a week. Maybe more.

I repeated myself a lot in this chapter because I wanted you to feel the monotony of Hermione's days, she needed routine to keep her sane and at the same time it wore on her. Ah well, late March and things are changing anyway.

I have a book called _A Book of Women's Poets from Antiquity to Now _IBSN 0-8052-0680-9. Hundreds of poems are translated from all languages. Louise Labé (1525-1566) had her poems (untitled) above translated from Italian. The excerpt you may be familiar with is excerpt taken from Robert Frost's, _Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening._

Thank you for your continued reviews! You keep me going!

Moon-n-Universe-Goddess- Thank you!

KarySky- Thanks is July 5th too soon? Thanks for eating ice cream and by the time you get back from your business trip I hope to have at least two more chapters up. Aren't there internet cafés up there? Thanks for your steadfast reviews!

LilThuggin420- Oops, didn't know about Ginerva, I stand corrected. It didn't appear in the books though did it? I thought it was funny – _Virgin…ia_. Not anymore.

wackoramaco87- You are correct. Not confused. HG does have to go through with it to make the wards permanent. The wards are fine, but all she can do now to prevent it from falling is to hope Severus doesn't get killed or that people don't find out about her OOD. And I hope you like the lexicon, I use it all the time.

alicat999- Hooray! Thanks for the long review. Didn't know about Ginerva, eeek! Will have to correct that and re-post. Draco needs mental help. He's got troubles and doesn't know quite how to be himself anymore after trying to be so much like his father all these years, quoting him at every turn… 'my father says' and so forth. Good question about the Goddesses. It would be tempting to simplify things and connect them in a way, but for all practical purposes the Goddesses remain dormant until they are called or sense danger and act of their own accord. That's why Gaia didn't stir in Severus last chapter and did stir in Hermione when she was about to be attacked by wolves. I think Severus can't see the forest for the trees so to speak and he is torturing himself with his memories in the Pensieve. More soon, thank you for continuing to review! I love to respond to them and what does LMAO mean? Hee, hee— I'm a novice with mnemonics.

hope- Cool! Sounds like you have a lot in common with HG in this fic. I've really tried my best to keep characters in character in this fic even with the additional bits of made up trivia. Thank you for reviewing, I appreciate your feedback.

Goddess Blaque-Rose- Woo hoo! Wait no more.

lyress- I have to go back and read my own chapter, what was Dumbledore keeping from them that would make them pissed? You're right on about Minerva of course, but I couldn't think of what McGonagall might say, she switched so often from strict disciplinarian to mothering sentiment I imagine she's just too thrilled to have her girls back. About the calligraphy, the answer is no, not soon. For this chapter's posting, how about Monday afternoons? As always, thanks for your reviews. You can always e-mail me at leynarountreeyahoo.com

levans- Thanks for your review. I don't think lovely would describe the cave, hee. More soon, hope you like the next chapter. Ma salaam.

June Williams- Thank you for correcting my slip in missing Transfiguration. So much of that requires concentration, and charms more mechanics I imagine and pronunciation. I imagine they could practice more charms in the cave than transfiguration so I added it in this chapter! And thank you for your complement about re-reading the story, I'm flattered. I am thinking of removing the disclaimer in that it may turn off some readers, but I have spent every moment crafting the new chapter!

Alarase- Hermione is still a faithful follower of God, however it is not religion getting in the way of her completion of the spell. I did put the bit in the Daily prophet for you (wink!) and I imagine Rita or some other nasty reporter wrote it, though I imagine she wouldn't dare cross Hermione Granger since she's got the good on her. Again, I cannot talk about Katie or I will blurt out everything! Thank you for your 'nice' comments! Hope you like the new chapter.

Tiffie 101- Thanks for your review! Dumbledore may be flexible but overlooking abuse probably wouldn't be one of them, of course Snape at this point would 'do his duty' as it were and Hermione would feel pitied. Snape would not likely admit to feeling at this point and Hermione is still too stubborn to approach him. And poor Draco, we are right to be worried for him.

poetrychik- Thank you. Oh woe for our would-be-pair. So sad. And Severus well… there's no hope for insight as you will see…

kat6528- Oh goody! Which part? Thank you for your review!

Althea Grey- Glad you be otay. As for Pansy, it's hard to continue to hate someone who's smiling at you. They both have a lot on their mind at the moment. Draco is doing a lot of thinking about his own stuff, not dating anyone and not pressuring Pansy to do anything except what she wants. Right now, they are back to square one. Snape isn't stupid, just a helpless man with no leads. He's relieved to hear word twice in this chapter and you won't believe what he goes through next. Thanks for reading! (And reviewing!)

Lori- Thanks, you too! Severus won't find out for awhile yet, so I hope I can keep you entertained in the meanwhile. God bless!

Wytil- Ah, ordinary supplies. Shucks. Now that Hermione is gone from the woods… well I'll leave you to find out in the next chapter. But what you said, research. That's right.

Kylara- Yes the book is doing well! Remember Flourish and Blotts is on back order! Here's another LONG chapter. Hermione isn't quite ready to return, She will likely be forced into it. Perhaps kicking and screaming… but I don't want to give anything away…

Ezmerelda- She's kind of stunned that she doesn't really know what to do next. She can't practice magic and her back-up plan is tricky… she's gotta figure out something. For these last few months she's just been existing. So sad. And you're right she can't hide forever. If Hermione didn't go to danger, danger would come to her. So the story moves along… no more caves. Thanks for sticking with me. Any suggestions for upcoming issues at school or for our Severus looking for her?

Min Hee- Thank you, I like drawing the painful separation out. More suspenseful that way. Here's the next installment!

Nakhash Mekashefah- Thank you, Thank you! Here's a chapter for Monday afternoon!

Rosmerta- Thank you for your review and here's another long one. You are a good guesser. So I won't say any more!


	20. Don't Provoke a Goddess

**Disclaimer: **Do I have to keep on at this point? My name is not on the cover of five books with Harry Potter. No one is storming my front door for autographs or demanding to see the next chapter of Book 6. All hail, Queen Rowling.

**Chapter Twenty**: **Don't Provoke a Goddess**

It was seven in the morning on Saturday and Mundungus Fletcher snored so loudly he woke himself up for the third time in forty minutes. He stretched uncomfortably and repositioned himself against the tree overlooking the Ashby home. Salicia Breston tapped him on the shoulder to relieve the man from another 8 hour shift.

"Sorry I'm late," she said. "Traffic."

"What traffic? You apparate!" He let out another big yawn and shrank back into the pile of rags people usually mistook him for.

She snorted. "Long shift?"

"Yeah."

"Any activity?"

"No." This was their customary banter.

_As usual. Nothing, no sightings, no Death Eaters, nothing. _Some days it made them feel unimportant, and they wanted to ask when they should change strategies.

"She's not going to come. She would have already," he groaned. "Might as well ask the old man to give up. She doesn't want to be found."

"We can't think like that. We need to stay sharp, stay focused," the bright young witch said.

Mundungus' voice remained unenthusiastic. "Way to go. Good for you, since you're shift's on. I'm going to go grab some shut-eye." In their conversation, they missed the scene below, lastly only 5 minutes in a three month period.

Anyone could have missed it.

Hermione's head spun for a moment, her stomach gurgling from both the trip and hunger. When she opened her eyes, her feet were planted exactly where she wanted them, an inch deep in mulch behind Jake Ashby's house in the garden. Pressing her back up against the brick and squatting low behind the waist-high oleander shrub, she didn't feel terribly well concealed— in broad daylight. She stifled a gasp and crouched lower as Mrs. Ashby descended the back steps for work, and closed her eyes as if it would make her invisible to others. Mrs. Ashby zipped out of the driveway in her Mini, late for work, too distracted by the time to notice details.

The backdoor had been left unlocked and Hermione slipped inside. She was fairly certain her own house was being watched and felt panicky out of doors; she could see it from here. Crouched on all fours, not wanting to be spotted through a kitchen window, she felt a bit like a prowler in a house she practically grew up in. Hermione was terrified. This was civilization. Her heart pounded in her chest. Time seemed to stop as she saw the kitchen table where she'd shared a hundred meals here, movie nights… sleepovers. She had skinned her knees on the steps outside when she was nine and played four square with Jake's older sister in the driveway. In this house, Hermione Granger _existed._

Jake rounded the corner from the den and dropped his cereal bowl in a clatter on the floor. His shout scared Hermione half to death.

"AHHHHHHH!!!!"

Hermione cried out, covering her head with her hands, still on her knees. Once they both stopped screaming, Jake could hardly make out the shape of the woman before him, she was… "Hermione? Hermione! Christ, it's you!" He reached out to her and she backed away a bit, still taking in her surroundings.

Her mouth gaped open a bit as she finally accepted the sight before her. "Jake?" She closed her eyes and crawled to him, yanked him down by his shirt tail into a fierce hug on the floor. He held her long and she dared not breathe. "You're real."

"Of course I am, sweets. God I've been so worried about you." She didn't let go and he held her for a long moment, rubbing her back.

She came to her senses. _You can't stay here Hermione. It's not safe. You have to keep moving._

"You have friends looking for you. They asked me to call…"

"NO DON'T! Oh God, Jake," she looked desperate her eyes glistening with fear. "_Please_ don't tell anyone was here. I'm in so much _trouble_." Her trouble was whispered and she looked ready to bolt. She could tell Jake anything, almost. Everything except the witch part. She would stay.

He heard her stomach growl. "Are you hungry?" he asked, walking toward the fridge, flinging all of its contents onto the table. Jake looked at the disheveled woman and took in her tinier frame. She was a fraction of the girl he knew. She nodded her reply, excited that he would make her anything edible, and licked her lips when she recognized the pattern of meat, cheese, and condiments.

"What will you have?" Jake asked.

"Anything that doesn't come in the shape of a nutritional bar," said Hermione, her eyes wide.

He was making one of his famous subs, the ones he made on movie nights during their summers. It was by design, enormous— and they usually split it. He nearly cried when he saw the wasted slip of a girl devour it a matter of minutes. Hermione ate quickly, knowing she'd make herself sick, but she was overwhelmed. She didn't stop to savor the lovely pastrami, smoked ham, the provolone— she_ inhaled _it. She drank a glass of milk to wash it down and felt so full she knew no amount of antacid would aid in her recovery later.

Jake let her eat in silence while he studied his dear friend, she was practically family. _Why was she in so much danger? From whom? Surely not from Harry, they were best friends at school— she talked about him all the time. _ Her hair was in a disarray he had never seen, and she was filthy. Beyond _mud-wrestling-championships_ filthy. She looked like she had an inch of dirt on her face and there was blood… "You're bleeding! You're hurt!"

"Oh," she swallowed. "It's not mine. Oh. Oh! It's okay— not what you think. I was helping a friend who got injured." She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, empty plate in her lap, refusing to sit anywhere near a window.

"Hermione… What _happened?_ Just tell me," he whispered. "I love you; you know I'd do anything for you. Where have you been staying? You look like a cavewoman."

She laughed. He was right. _Clan of the Cave Bear, that's me_. "I've been living in a forest."

"Without the aid of a tent?" Jake chided. She didn't laugh.

"Something like that. Could… could I use your bathroom?" she asked shyly, not wanted to impose. As if she had to worry.He was no stranger.

She dashed up the stairs and used his toilet. _Real toilet paper. No squatting._ She missed basic things. There were feminine supplies under the cabinet. The bathroom was modest and smelled like rosy potpourri. She saw magazines. It was around March 29th, and Jake had left today's _London Times_ on the vanity. She flushed and saw soap by the faucet. Hermione opened the door to get Jake before he called anyone and he was right there waiting for her on the other side of the door.

"Still here sweetie." He gave her a wink.

"You said people were looking for me. Who?" She asked with suspicion.

"You're friend, Harry— and some older guy. Kinda tall, with dark black hair, pale and creepy. He's one of your teachers I think. He looked like he ate something sour."

"Professor Snape." She tried to suppress a faint smile. _He looked for me._ She felt a pang of guilt. People were worried about her. But they knew she was okay from this morning, it would have to do.

"That's the one. They asked all kinds of questions about you and where you like to go. They were really persistent, Hermione. Harry wants me to call him; he gave me a cell phone number…"

"Don't call him. Please, Jake. I'll think of something. Look, this is going to sound weird, but can I take a shower? I haven't had a _real _shower since before Christmas."

Jake gave her a look. "Girl, please. Shower." He handed her a fresh towel and pulled some of his sister's shampoo, conditioner and underthings from his sister's room.

Hermione set her dingy tapestry bag down on the toilet and began to shed the layers of cracking, yellowing rags from her body. When Jake returned with new things she was in a t-shirt and knickers.

Jake turned around embarrassed. "Hermione, I should let you…" he said choking. _God, she's so skinny! _He could almost count ribs.

She leapt out and grabbed his arm. "Don't leave. Please don't leave me… alone," she whispered. To his memory, Jake had never known Hermione as particularly afraid, timid, or shy. But she seemed more frightened than he could remember and it was different somehow. He couldn't deny it, she really was in trouble and he had to find a way to help her,_ if_ she would let him.

"Alright," he said worriedly. "I just thought you should have some privacy."

"I lost all modesty three months ago. Just… don't ask. I'm okay."

She peeled off what remained of her clothes and stepped under warm water—she felt it on her face washing away the dirt, exposing the lonely pains. Looking down at her feet she stared absently at the mud and blood pooling in the water where she stood, then knelt in to a ball and wept. _How did I get here? _The water grew too hot and beat angry red marks on her flesh, but she didn't care.

Jake intervened. Pulling back the curtain, he adjusted the water and put a tentative hand on her back. She sobbed. "I'm so…" she couldn't put anything into words.

"Shhh… It's going to be alright. You're going to be fine. Everything's going to be fine…." he repeated over and over. _God she was so bony, fragile_. Nothing like he had remembered her. He took the soap and washed her back and arms, not caring if he got wet. Pretty soon there was water all over the floor and on his shirt, hair and shoulders. The bathtub was filling with water because so much dirt had clogged the drain.

After clearing the standing water he reached under the sink to retrieve a spray head for the shower. He handed her the soap and she washed, spending a long time on every square inch of her body until she was pink.

She held up a lock of her matted hair and said, "I'm doomed aren't I?"

He smirked. "Let's see what we can do."

Hermione bent back over and he sprayed her hair. Once her oily hair finally succumbed and became wet, they added shampoo. Working it in, they tried to free the grime which had managed to superglue dirt and mud to her long wiry hairs. She felt like Medusa, her hair had a life of its own. _It might even be sentient_, she laughed. Hopefully it wouldn't bite.

They washed her hair no less than three times. She towel-dried it and it was still a gnarly mess. To this he re-wetted her mane and added cream rinse, hoping to de-tangle the viscous knots in her briar patch of hair.

It was hopeless.

Hermione groaned in frustration as she tried to painfully force a comb through her tangled ropes.

"Hermione? I want you to _trust_ me." Jake said calmly, his voice holding a hint of idea.

She couldn't see, and she was still hunched over, her dreadlocks obstructing her view. "What are you going to do?" She breathed.

_Snip._

He took the pair of scissors from the drawer and whacked her hair off— short. It happened so quickly, Hermione could barely object, and she _did _object. She shrieked once she realized what was happening, and soon there was a pile of hair around her. "I like it _long_," she said angrily, her hands balled into fists.

"I bet even Rapunzel had limits," Jake scolded. He discarded her hair in the wastebasket. Jerking the shower curtain closed, she fumed… _she could not glue her hair back…_ and washed again, finally stepping out of the bathtub a modest woman— quickly wrapping the towel tightly around her. She was clean and felt truly naked without the muck and dirt to cover her.

He looked down at her pile of clothes. "I can't believe you came from _that_," he pointed. She smirked and Jake could see at last a piece of Hermione in her.

"I don't suppose you have anything clean?" Hermione rolled her eyes.

_That's my girl._ "I'll get some of Yvonne's clothes." He left to his sister's room and left Hermione alone. She shut the door and opened the towel, standing in front of the mirror to evaluate her frame. She barely recognized herself. '_What are you going to do?' _she told her reflection, but it said nothing back. Naked for all but the gold locket she wore with her name engraved on the back, she rummaged quickly through the pile of dirty rags and found the emergency portkey Luna gave her.

Jake returned with his sister's clothes and several t-shirts. Hermione slipped on clean underpants and low rise jeans, exposing the flat belly she'd never had before and slipped on a bra, she couldn't have worn at the Ball. The B cup fit fine, but her former self would've been spilling out of it. She slipped on the first shirt he gave her, the black one with no sleeves.

"Oh no. Yvonne is going to kill you. This is her favorite shirt…"

"She'd want you to have it. Besides, it's her fault she didn't take it to college with her."

It was black and had faded white lettering captioning _The Grateful Dead_ on the front. It was so… _cool_. Hermione wished Bill Weasley could see her now, he would truly appreciate this. Putting on the clothes was like putting her own self back together. She wanted to feel _more_ civilized though.

"What else do you need?" he anticipated, reading her.

"Do you have a toothbrush?"

He brightened and retrieved one from the guest room. She took her time and flossed as well. Hermione looked at herself in the mirror again; her chopped hair needed trimming— she hated it. _Really, really_ hated it. She held up a bit of her hair and watched it shorten, frizzing out in the humidity of the bathroom. _I look like a sheep._

Jake ran and grabbed a knit cap from the coat closet and parted with a leather jacket that hadn't fit him for a couple years. He also liberated an old black cardigan of his mom's. When she finally put on the rest, she looked like vintage Grunge at it's finest. Perhaps she needed tattoos and a few dozen piercings.

She desired one more thing though. Hermione helped herself to Yvonne's room and picked up a reddish caramel lipstick from her dresser. Now she felt human— woman.

The mask was back on and she calmly addressed her friend. "Jake, thank you." Her pecan eyes stared at him and he finally recognized her. "I've got to get out of here. No one can know I was here."

"But you just got here. Where will you go? Do you have any money?"

Hermione chewed her lower lip, becoming painfully aware of her cash flow problem. She had little Muggle money with her and had used nearly every Galleon she had that wasn't in Gringotts to purchase that bottomless bag. Jake needn't have asked and his fished his wallet out of his pocket and emptied it. "Don't say no, you need it. Go on."

She bit back the guilt. _It's a lot._ _Probably all the tips he'd made in a week._ "Thank you. Do you think you could drive me to London?"

In no time they were speeding down motorway, taking the M4 from Reading in his Land Rover, she laying in back on the floorboards. "Hermione, you know I love you, but isn't that a bit extreme? Who are you hiding from anyway?" He periodically checked on her in the back seat to make sure she hadn't disappeared on him.

"Jake, it's such a long story. Suffice it to say people are looking for me and I can't afford to be seen. I'm pretty sure my house is being watched, so don't go there. Don't worry, my parents are safe."

"They've been gone since last year," he said. _Watched by who? Fuck, Hermione. Tell me something._

"I know, Jake. Just drive."

-----------------

Lupin was standing in Dumbledore's office after a shower of his own. The werewolf remained silent. He was still upset over his transformation that could have cost student lives, but perhaps more upset that he had let Hermione Granger slip through his grasp.

"No one was injured, Remus. Not even Miss Granger, and she managed to renew my DADA professor to full health," Dumbledore said with his customary irritating calmness. "I must make a mental note to thank her for that after we find her. At least this unfortunate set of events resulted in us finding out she was alright."

"I still don't understand why she is hiding, Albus," Remus said worriedly.

"I'm not sure even Miss Granger fully knows the answer to that. She may not be thinking very clearly."

Snape was furious. He had to get out of this confounded space or he was going to hex both Lupin and Dumbledore. "Perhaps she hadn't settled far from where she found you, Lupin. Let's at least check the forest to locate where she stayed," he grumbled.

"Maybe she returned to get her things?" Remus suggested and they were gone from Dumbledore's office in seconds.

They apparated and saw the old cave where the girls stayed the holidays. Wandering in a bit farther into the wood, Severus found the brook and followed it downstream. Remus worked back the opposite direction.

Severus saw a bush full of berries and a short distance from it, blood. _Probably Remus'. _He was getting closer but didn't call out. In the still moist earth he could make out the circular depressions left by hooves.

_Unicorns._ She told Remus they protected her, and he was amazed to see it for himself. Seeing her footprints leading away from the scene, he ran. The impressions were faint, would disappear in the grass and come back into view intermittently. As he neared the widening of the riverbank, he saw her cauldron, remnants of a fire, and wet clothes hanging from a stick. _Attempts to make soap._ Severus couldn't find his breath. She had lived here, in the cold, for three months, not half a mile from the other cave. _ Gods._

Something wasn't right about the wall he faced, the variations in the stone were almost too perfect. He whipped out his wand and muttered a quick incantation.

The cave's door dissolved revealing the shelter. Everything was there. She hadn't come back. Her tapestry bag was gone, but portable fires still burned around the bedroll where she slept. Snape was surprised at her meager living arrangements, but especially at the obvious collection of potions ingredients, and leftovers of her regular efforts at brewing— roots and herbs gathered form the forest along with the supplies Dobby had brought her. He saw her makeshift shelf from a piece of driftwood, and a couple of bookends, beautiful geological specimens with interesting mineral deposits. She had spent some time deliberately picking these out from the stream. _How had she spent the time? It must have been lonely._

He made a note of her books, which were meticulously well-cared for despite her own state of appearance. She must have placed an anti-humidity spell or some such thing inside the cave, for it was dry. A basket of fruit sat in the corner.

It smelled horribly, but forced himself to walk in as she had done every day. On the floor it looked like she had been studying. A book lay open in the dimness of the cave, her notes scattered all about like she'd return soon to work on them. He bent to pick up the book she'd been reading and went slack jawed in realization of its contents. The title glistened when it caught part of the light— _Revitalizing Potions for the Modern Age_. _It was his. And these were her notes. _She had continued her work as though she had never left. He stacked them neatly, skimming as his went. Brilliant concepts, things they hadn't discussed last term. He took a moment to collect himself—Hermione had spent all of this time thinking as much about their work as he had about her. _Though not in the same way._

She'd been plaguing his thoughts and he'd already imagined half a dozen ways he'd found her dead. But Hermione was far from helpless, she'd survived in a cave with no magic for three months, evading detection from Aurors, Death Eaters and Order members. No wonder Potter's cell phone hadn't rung, why more of their leads hadn't panned out. She'd never left— Hogwarts grounds was still the safest place to be and she knew it.

A white dove circled overhead, and spied the people below. Her usual charge she watched over had gone.

Snape could hear Lupin in the distance and finally called out to him. "Over here, by the stream…"

"Gods, Severus. Look at this."

"I know."

"She ran out of soap," Lupin pointed out in awe of the homemade soap cakes before him.

"And many other conveniences, it seems," Snape mused. He squatted and Lupin watched him pick up her things with a manner bordering on reverence.

"She'll be needing those things when she gets back," Remus said a little hoarsely.

"Yes, she will." _She will come back._

"She had to leave at some point to get your book, though I'm surprised she could leave the forest without anyone noticing," Remus speculated.

"She could've had it delivered by owl," Minerva suggested, once they were back at the school.

"If so, then how and who would know where she was?" replied Remus.

"What did you find in the cave, Severus?" Dumbledore asked.

"Books, dirty clothing, a bedroll… a couple of food wrappers, potions she brewed, attempts to make soap, even homework from this term's syllabi, not much else." Snape left a few things out though.

Later on in the dungeons, he would remember that he found pieces of _her _in that cave— the signature of a beautiful, intelligent young witch who had carried on, doing exactly what she would have done had she been at Hogwarts. He sorted through her notes and found a tall stack of ideas based on his book. He also found her Bible and places she had marked for reflection, passages that discussed perseverance and strength during weary times.

Picking up several books of poetry, he flipped to several places she had marked and perused the works. Shakespeare, Yeats, Frost, Dickenson, Bradstreet, and Labé. He read a passage she had circled and felt an inherent pain he identified with long ago, but had long resigned himself to being alone.

_As soon as I lie down in my soft bed,  
__trying to vanish into wanted sleep,  
__My sad feelings overcome me and sweep,  
__me out toward you to who I am wildly led.  
__When I suppose that on my tender breasts  
__I hold the darling face I longly tried  
__to find, for whom openly I've sighed,  
__I break, I sob, and then my soul protests.  
__O gentle sleep, O night of ecstasy!  
__Pleasure, repose, immense tranquility!  
__Let each might be an agent that will tie  
__me to my dream. And yet, if my poor soul  
__truly is doomed to play a loveless role  
__arrange, at least, for it to have its lie.__   
Louise Labé _

_It is a waste of time to punish yourself this way. Had she nothing better to do than to dwell on sadness and loss?_ Most of the poetry marked pertained to nature and tragic love—he was also surprised to see her attempts at writing her own poetry, though most lines were harshly crossed out.

One thing was clear. She was a woman in pain.

Snape didn't dream. At least that's what he told himself. Long ago, too many evenings were spent tangled up in sweaty sheets, nightmares filled with recollections of either his own torture or the regrettable pain he had inflicted on others. As a younger man he had spent a good deal of time escaping from those horrors by brewing Dreamless Sleep and other potions, later expending a bit of his health to break himself of the addictive habit. He hardly ever used them anymore, though at certain times potions with narcotic properties were considered a necessary adjunct to the job of being a spy.

He regularly made a habit of clearing his mind before he went to bed as he had taught Harry to do (though it had taken the boy nearly a year and a half to make any serious effort at doing so). Snape was an excellent Occlumens and as much as that meant shutting his mind off to others, he could also shut off his thoughts off from himself, and that was saying something.

This is not to say that he disassociated himself from things, though at times he had during bouts of Crucio. Snape was a very aware man, sure of himself, took a moral inventory. That is to say, he was both proud of his accomplishments and abundantly aware that nothing he could ever do would make up for his failures. Even still in shame, he did not cower from his fate but put back his shoulders and bore his responsibility like a man. Dumbledore was immensely proud of him, would even say he possessed Gryffindor qualities—though Snape would probably poison him for mentioning it.

Shutting his mind off at night did not prevent him from dreaming, though it did have the pleasurable result of waking up having not remembered a damned thing. After all of the hell, _that _was bliss.

Snape however, had his extra time of late preoccupied with thoughts of Hermione Granger. At first, he passed it off as normal professorial interest in a promising young newcomer to the potions world. She was brilliant and it was excited to take credit for being a mentor of sorts. After that, it had been more… _protective_ in nature, and somewhat personal as he tried to find out everything he could about the witch who had blessed him with a Goddess and why she had done it. Of course when Miss Weasley returned, he knew _why_. '_He was at the top of our list. He's in more danger than any of us._' An Order member, a spy. He must be protected at all costs.

It never occurred to him that she chose him for some personally redeeming quality, for just being Severus Snape. Not Professor Snape, not spy, not Order member, just Severus.

He didn't expect that he would drift off to sleep mid-afternoon exhausted from his day at the cave, returning to the dungeons sorting through her notes and what not. He had nodded off while perusing them, seeing the notes to herself in the margins, as if she had been over and over them. _Try the widowroot with the belladonna and substitute the acid for…_ She knew his book inside out. This is the work he had hoped to inspire. And the potential potions mistress in question was reduced to making do with winter's resources in order to make soap in a cauldron out of sheer necessity.

_Damn._

The first vision of her that came to him that night was not her mind, or her safety. It was her beauty. Hermione was a remarkably beautiful woman, he saw it in her face when she struggled with an idea, when she was debating with him, or when she would fall half-asleep in a tome on his divan by the fire. The light would catch the red hues in her hair and cast shadows on her face. She was downright gorgeous at the Yule Ball when she sang, and even under the Polyjuice he could see Hermione in Fiona Whittier, recognizing her soul in her actions, her facial expressions.

The last thing he heard before waking up was, _"I'm sorry, you just missed her."_

_-------------------_

At her request Jake drove her around the outskirts of London, the rather seedier part of town. She kept her head down and asked Jake to stop on a street near a few bars, cheap hotels, and abandoned buildings.

"Hermione you're out of your mind! I'm _not_ dropping you off here." True to his word, he drove ten more blocks down the street, and while the local businesses remained largely unchanged, it at least looked cleaner, with less overt criminal activity.

"Jake, I'm sorry I haven't been able to explain very much to you. Please trust me when I say this is something that I have to do on my own. Don't tell anyone I came here okay?" she pleaded.

He agreed, but he wasn't happy about it. He hugged and kissed his good friend clad in his sister's clothes goodbye. When Jake drove off, he looked in the rearview mirror but she was already gone.

Hermione stood in the alleyway, deciding what to do next. She had exactly 165 pounds in her pocket. She needed a place to sleep and a job. She had already passed several homeless people on the street, no longer a common sight in many parts of London— but this wasn't quite London anymore.

She knew after the forest and a decent bath, she didn't want to live like that and presently she wasn't a far cry from it. She knocked on some doors but no one was hiring, certainly not for cash which is what she would insist on being paid. She needed tips.

The street was filled with bars and pubs, some looking more established than others. But it was daytime and Hermione wondered what this place looked like at night. Walking in front of a club called The Shot, she knocked on the door— loudly. "Hello?" Hermione pressed her nose up against the glass and tried to peer in darkened windows to see if she could see the faint outlines of movement or something to indicate a manager might be inside. At least there was the welcoming 'Help Wanted' sign in the window.

A man opened the door, holding a Coke in one hand and a cigarette in the other. "What do you want?"

"I came to see about the job." She said a silent prayer.

He turned without closing the door and she let herself in for the impromptu interview, shutting the door and locking it behind her.

"Why did you do that?" referring to her locking the door.

"Because you're closed, aren't you? I didn't imagine you'd want anyone to wander in."

"Good. Glad to see you have a brain. Our last bartender would _conveniently f_orget to leave those things unlocked. Made off with half of our liquor."

"Bartender? Is that the position open?" She was getting worried.

"You catch on fast," he said, dropping his butt on the floor and snuffing it out with his shoe.

"I have to be honest, I can't mix drinks…"

He laughed heartily through a new cigarette and lit it. "Don't have to, we only sell shots." He pointed at the sign.

_Oh. The Shot. _

"Ok, show me what you got. Sell yourself," he leaned back taking a long drag.

Hermione did her best, he was a lazy interviewer. "I don't drink or use drugs, I work hard, I don't have a second job to interfere with scheduling time…"

"Alright, shut up, you had me at 'hello'. Need a bartender for tomorrow." She looked astonished. "Humph, what? Too soon for you?"

"No, that's great. I would only request to be paid cash." She braced for his feedback.

His eyebrows wrinkled. "Any particular reason?"

She thought fast. "I got stiffed at a previous job and I don't keep a bank account."

"Okay, deal. You start tomorrow night at four-thirty sharp. We set up then and people start flooding in here after work, we close at two-thirty."

Hermione's eyes widened. "How many people come in here a night?"

"Around 300 to 350 at any given time. We have 4 bartenders and you work pretty much non-stop. When Danny comes on, he'll show you the bar. We're open Tuesday through Saturday, so those are your work days. There are _no_ off days, understand? No one to cover for you if you get sick, so if you don't show you better be dead or going to the hospital okay?"

She nodded, relived to get a job and terrified of bartending. As she was leaving, he finally asked her name and she spit out the first name that came to mind, "Kate Evans." And there was her manager, the short, balding chain smoker, Nick Culver. Dry sense of humor, but funny. Took no crap and on the inside she imagined him an old softie. _But what did she know_, she thought to herself. _She'd just met the man. _To him she was a warm body that could pour drinks— So long as she kept moving an didn't stiff him, she'd probably do fine.

Walking down the street, she wandered in and toured several buildings. Among the ones with open doors, most smelled, were too congested, or isolated for her tastes. She wanted something in between. No crowds, few loiters, and no suspicious absence of people. _If the locals here didn't want to go there, she figured she shouldn't either. _Finally she came upon Avery Inn, a dingy, run-down hotel, and saw the lowest rate yet— sixteen pounds sterling a night. Looked like most people around here were one-night stays or weekly renters. _Maybe she could negotiate a cheaper weekly or monthly rate. _ The landlord seemed a bit shifty and terse, but accepted eighty five pounds for the first week, and would accept two-hundred seventy for the month _if_ she could pay it all in advance. Seeing her new place of residence, she was sure it wasn't worth that much. The bed was old, but sheets and bed pad were new. (She wondered what it had taken to prompt that change.) The room was filthy and it looked as if someone had brewed horrible things here, the wallpaper was peeling and sticky with something brown. _The cave was cleaner by far_. But she had running water and no animals (that she could see). _And there was toilet paper_. She chalked it up as an upgrade.

Wandering down the hall past a derelict ice maker, she came across the supply closet, rarely used. She pilfered some gloves, three sponges and an array of untouched cleaning products. After working three detentions worth of work off in her room and going through half of the cleaning supplies, she felt satisfied that she could actually set foot in her bathtub and touch the walls without cringing. The mirrors were shiny and the table was immaculately clean. Only then did she unpack. It was six o'clock, she had a place to stay, was employed ('_thank you God!'_), and had a bed to sleep in. Hermione rewarded herself with a shower. She used one of the towels Jake had parted with instead of the rather crusty ones available, slipped into a fresh change of clothes (i.e. t-shirt and a pair of sweats) and collapsed into the bed, the only truly clean thing in the room (though she dared not look at the mattress).

Thoughts ran through her mind about the day. She'd seen Remus for maybe 20 minutes; she didn't get to banter with him and catch up, or ask about Harry and how he was doing, Pansy or Ginny, her parents— _They must be crazy with worry_, she thought. And then when she did have the opportunity at companionship, she'd squandered it. All meaningful conversation with her longtime friend was completely wasted by empty pleasantries and trite phrases. She was humbled by his caring for her when she was not able to do it herself. For at least fifteen minutes of her one and a half hour stay at the Ashby's, she was curled in a ball under water, practically paralyzed and unable to function. _Probably because she felt safe there,_ she thought, but it was more than that. People aren't meant to live in isolation from the world and certainly not Hermione Granger. _And she appreciated his help_, she thought, as she felt hairs poke out at odd angles prickling the back of her neck.

_But she hated her hair._

_---------------_

"Miss Weasley, might I have a word?" asked Professor McGonagall. She had been kind an accessible since their return, always available in the wings, but not saying much. She quietly made herself available to the students. The SOS mostly relied on each other, and many of the girls felt that only the members of the group could truly understand what it was like, making the sacrifices they had. But Ginny had seemed rather distracted and preoccupied lately, and her attention in transfiguration was wavering. So Minerva sought her out.

Ginny followed her into her office and sat opposite Professor McGonagall. Instead of sitting behind her desk, she lit a fire, poured tea and offered Ginny a biscuit, taking a seat in the chair next to her.

"No thank you, Professor."

"Miss Weasley, you seem to have a great deal on your mind, of late. I wanted to see how you are. It must be difficult with Hermione gone. Would you like to talk about it?"

Ginny didn't know what to say. She and Pansy had talked about a lot this last week and were just now mustering up the courage to truly consider talking to Dumbledore about their idea. Better a woman. "I'm really worried about her. At first, I just took Hermione at her word that she was in danger, but now, since we haven't heard from her, it seems like not knowing is killing me. Anything could've happen to her! It's like Kendra or Melanie. We have no idea what happened to Kendra, but I'm not going to sit here and deceive myself and pretend that it's all good, y'know? I feel a little better from her last message."

"That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. Apparently Hermione continued to live in the forest after you left. Professor Lupin found her this morning…"

"What? That's great! Where is she…" Her face fell, on seeing McGonagall disheartened look. "She's not here is she?"

"She spoke to him briefly, and used a portkey to a new location. She didn't cast it there, so we couldn't track her. We did see where she stayed, and I must say I am so proud of you Gryffindor women," the elder witch said a bit glassy eyed. "All of you. You're survivors."

"But she can't keep going like this! I have to tell Harry, maybe now she'll try to talk to her family or something. I need to go talk to my parents. Her mum and dad will be thrilled to have word."

"They've already had news from Dumbledore, and Professor Dumbledore took Mister Potter to see the cave where she stayed." Minerva crossed her long wrinkled fingers in front of her. "Any ideas on where she might have gone?"

Ginny huffed in aggravation. "I have no idea, but…" She took a breath. _It's too horrible. They shouldn't._

"But what, Miss Weasley?"

"Pansy and I have been thinking about something, but we weren't sure about trying it. Now I'm pretty well desperate to try anything," she sighed.

"I think we're way past that point, Ginny, don't you? What did you have in mind?" Professor McGonagall was all ears.

-----------

"Why didn't you just petrify her!" Harry said tersely to Remus. "Shit! Living in the forest all this time and not even trying to contact us. Except "the word," thanks a lot Hermione!" Harry had been on a full rant which had been going on for some time. "This isn't _like her_ to do this!"

"Harry, I don't think any of us know what Hermione is 'like' after this last year's events. Perhaps Ginny or Pansy would be better suited to helping you anticipate what she might do under these circumstances."

"Are you saying I don't know my best friend?" Harry said hotly.

"No, all I'm saying is that Hermione had apparently been through a great deal that she does not particularly feel like sharing and maybe the men folk and others not in SOS can really understand what she's had to deal with," Remus reasoned.

Harry ran his fingers through his hair. "So what are we going to do? We should keep a close eye on the original lookout points," Harry instinctively reached for the cellular, checking for messages.

"You are going to stay put and wait to hear like all of us are. There is an Order meeting tonight. We'll meet afterward and let you know if anything useful comes up.

Harry hated being left out, he was furious, but there was no way they'd let him go, Boy-Who-Lived or not. But he couldn't grumble too much, Dumbledore had kept him updated and let him help direct the search. He got to speak often with her parents and they enjoyed the visits even though they weren't with their daughter.

------------

The kitchen at 12 Grimmauld Place, the proper meeting place for all Order business, was crowded and buzzing with news of Hermione Granger's brief appearance. Noisy from the mutterings of nearly two dozen wizards and witches, Arthur Weasley had to raise his voice to call the meeting to order.

"Order! Order! All right then…" The chattering subsided. "Thank you. We have a lot on the agenda today, so let's give assignments first. We have new leads on Hermione's disappearance. As some of you may know, Hermione's second shelter was a cavern in the Forbidden Forest not far from where the SOS members previously camped. So it is more important than ever to keep your shifts that you took mid-January. Especially her home, friends, family, neighborhood, and hang-outs."

"How current is the information, Arthur? When exactly did you hear from her?" asked Emmeline Vance, the latecomer.

"Just this morning she was found in the forest by Remus Lupin, but she portkeyed away. She still hasn't cast any magic yet through my contacts at the Ministry. Assume your posts and pass the word to the people who come to relieve you." Twelve people exited the kitchen leaving the number of people more manageable by far.

"What other news of the Ministry's response?" asked Snape gravely. Even mentioning the Ministry left a foul taste in his mouth.

"I was hoping for some guidance from you actually. I haven't told the Minister of the sighting of Hermione, and earlier today he preoccupied much of Dumbledore's time," Albus nodded, "saying how three months is long enough of a drain on Ministry resources to keep the Aurors and contacts looking for her." Arthur's jaw clenched severely and Molly mirrored his expression.

"What was it Fudge said?" Minerva turned to Albus and said sternly, "Ah yes, 'too much effort for one silly girl'."

"As if it's only about Hermione Granger," exclaimed Fletcher.

Mrs. Figg whacked him on the arm with her string bag. "Merlin Mundungus, we know it's about Hogwarts and safety and all, but this is _Hermione Granger_ were talking about, a promising young witch and not some lost pet!"

He cowered beneath the scowl of his other half. _Who said squibs weren't to be feared? _

"Cornelius knows that the search is turning up no leads, but of course he had always been looking in the wrong place," said Dumbledore resignedly without a trace of animosity. "Rest assured the Ministry will come through in a flash if Hermione decides to visit her vault at Gringotts or fancies a bit of shopping. Therefore, my recommendation would be that we tell him nothing."

"That's right," Molly spoke up angrily. "Fudge is no good use for anyone, least of all the safety of Hermione. If Fudge did know anything, you'd bet that Malfoy would have her in the company of the Death Eaters before we were ever told."

"What reports from that group, Snape?" Moody growled.

"None." He said dryly, in clipped tones his bit out the bitter news. "There has been no word. They of course are still looking, but most Death Eater business is being discussed amongst very few people."

"I suppose no news is good news, eh?" Mundungus chimed in, and received another wallop from Arabella.

Arthur cleared his throat. "If you will excuse me," he said standing. "We have some special guests this evening, who in light of recent events have decided to come forward to provide any additional insight into how we might be able to contact Hermione. There may be objections to their participation in an Order meeting, but I think this will benefit us." The tall, broad, red-headed man regarded his wife to gauge her reaction as Ginny and Pansy walked in.

There were a few gasps and Tonks spoke up, "If you had information that would help us, why didn't you bring it up earlier?" The Auror in her was speaking out, all business.

Ginny bit her tongue, and her lips formed a hard white line..

"Because we only just thought of it, that's why," Pansy said stiffly, pulling Ginny into the seat beside her.

"How do we know we can trust _you_, Miss Parkinson?" Moody's glass eye suspiciously swiveled in its socket as if taking her apart, looking for hidden weapons.

"I will vouch for her Moody," Dumbledore's voice broke the tension and Pansy smirked at bit at her endorsement. They had a long talk that day, and for once she had met an adult she could put faith in.

"You vouch for a lot of people, Albus." Moody harrumphed shooting a sideways glance at Snape.

"They didn't have to come this evening, but they chose to. Please hear them out. I imagine it was difficult enough to come without having to hear the grumbling opinions of al of us. Please, Miss Weasley, Miss Parkinson. You have our complete attention," McGonagall said firmly, glaring at Moody.

Ginny carefully addressed the people before her. She knew them all, and that made it more difficult. They included three professors, the Headmaster and her parents. Everyone went silent as they watched the young red head prepare to speak.

"What I have to talk about with you tonight," she swallowed, "is very _personal_ to me." She pinked a bit. "Private. I would appreciate no outbursts to my comments that don't pertain to Hermione's wellbeing." She looked to her mum, and watched as she grasped her father's hand. Mrs. Weasley was afraid for her daughter, not fully understanding what she had gone through, but perceptive enough to know she hadn't been told the whole story. Ginny had been very tight-lipped about the whole thing, and her mum had been waiting patiently for Ginny to come to her with it.

"Everyone is looking for Hermione because of the weakness in the wards. But Hermione is _not_ being hunted because she endured the spell longest. She is a target, because she is the last of three." Most of the group were wide-eyed having heard this for the first time, and even then most who knew the story had heard it second hand. "We worked all year perfecting the spell, the precise incantation. The mere thought or mention of phrases in the spell overwrought all of us with desire over the entire course of the fall term." She went on to explain about the pentacle, which girls stood at the five points and why. "The conclusion of the spell effectively released the hold of the desire on all of the casters… _except_ the last three to fall, and that was Hermione, Pansy and me." Molly paled to white and gripped Arthur's hand harder, but Ginny looked to others and pressed on. "_Our _appetites however, kept building. When Pansy finished reading the book of spells we were reading from, I mean— it's enormous, tiny print, so many spells… we finally found out about the secondary way to break the wards. We knew we all had to hide out for about a month, or else we could all be killed and the wards would fall, but then," Ginny sighed, and licked her lips. "If even one of the objects of our desire is killed, the wards will fall. The catch is, in order for the wards on Hogwarts to be permanent, each of the three of us were required to consummate the link with the object of our desire. Pansy and I could return to Hogwarts because we could fulfill our part of the spell. Hermione couldn't do that, that's why she left."

Nearly everyone in the room was stupefied. This was ridiculous.

Pansy cut in, trying to cut off the obvious questions that could ensue from a statement such as that. "This brings us to our idea about how to find her, or rather bring her in. Hermione is still fighting incredibly strong desire. I imagine it has kept building since her departure. When Ginny and I returned to Hogwarts we nearly didn't make it to Dumbledore's office to discuss what had happened."

"So both of you have already…" Arabella suggested, pale herself.

"Absolutely!" Pansy exclaimed. Several persons were taken aback at her outspoken reply. "Are you kidding? It's been _three_ months! Let me tell you. You cannot possibly understand how incredibly powerful that spell was, and how difficult it is to fight it. Harry and Draco are now safe." She avoided the steely disapproving looks from the crowd. _You couldn't have resisted either_, she thought. "We have no idea who Hermione fancies."

"She kept it a secret," Ginny supplied. "It could be a Muggle, but we think it's more likely someone at Hogwarts where she spends all of her time. Pansy and I didn't want Hermione to be bothered before. She was very adamant about not returning, and we tried to convince her to come back with us, but she wouldn't have it. All of us where pretty convinced she was doing the right thing by hiding…"

"How can you say that?" Mrs. Weasley barked out.

Ginny didn't want to get into an argument with her mom, so she directed her reply to the rest of the group. "If Hermione came back to Hogwarts she would risk the same temptations Pansy and I had to face, and even if Dumbledore would be able to protect her she would be afraid someone would find out of try to find out who her object of desire is, thinking they know better than she does." Dumbledore had to admit, this had crossed his mind. "But now, Hermione's been gone almost 4 months since before Christmas. We're worried about her, and she can't hide out forever, not able to use magic…"

"I feel like we're just waiting for something horrible to happen to her!" Pansy said firmly. "We have to find a way to help her."

"What are you suggesting?" Mr. Weasley asked.

"We found another spell, one that would increase her desire even more. We think she wouldn't be able to resist much more and she'd be desperate and have to come back."

"I'm still not sure this is such a good idea," Tonks said._ It sounded quite cruel to her._

"The spell wants to be satisfied. Even Hermione won't be able to resist that forever." Pansy said.

"So we're just waiting for the girl to get randy enough to return and shag the object of her desire?" growled Moody.

"Don't belittle her!" Pansy shouted angrily. "Don't do that. Desire is not just about sex, and Hermione's not staying away to avoid it." _Shit, she was saying more than she wanted to again. _"Hermione's feelings for this man are _not _shallow and her desire not purely physical. She has told me a bit, and I won't discuss it because she told me in confidence. But don't say _that_ about her again." Pansy had a fire in her eyes that told the one eyed man she was loyal and was a breath away from hexing him.

"She could behave erratically," Snape stated as plainly as he could. He wasn't liking this plan too much so far, but he was eager for any news. Ginny and Pansy looked at each other nervously, remembering their own feverish experiences.

"We brought everything with us," Pansy pulled the things out of her bag. "Professor Dumbledore, you said that if Hermione gets desperate, that you would have a way of seeing her."

"Yes, yes, I did say that. She had not needed our help up to now, the mirror has been empty," the Headmaster sighed. "I am rather hesitant to inflict this upon her, but feel she is likely in more danger now than ever. If you will excuse me, I must return to my office to retrieve a few items." The Order members anxiously waited and Ginny tried to avoid her mother's gaze, feeling a bit of embarrassment in her public declaration that she had shagged Harry silly immediately after she returned. When she caught her father's gaze though, she looked on her with tearful pride. Only then did she dare risk a glance at her mum. The rosy face of her wistful mother stared back at her with a mixture of sadness and appreciation of her daughter's strength.

Ginny gripped Pansy's hand, and they started to unpack. The others looked on as the two girls talked with one another as they had done a million times in preparation of the original spell. "It's concuspico, Pansy. I know it."

"Not that one. '_Concuspico_' means to long for something, not for _someone_. She's not coveting anything. It's _cupiditas__,_ passionate longing."

"What about '_desiderium_' then? That's like grieving for the loss of someone."

Other people began offering their suggestions, but they were summarily ignored by the two witches in the center of the room, law unto themselves.

"Okay then, why not all of them? All kinds of desire, isn't that what you felt inflicted upon you during the spell?" Pansy suggested. "If we write them onto our skin and then take the blood, then chant the words, that should be sufficient."

"It's our spell. I can't believe we're writing one from scratch." Ginny muttered, but everyone could hear.

"You're writing your own magic?" Minerva asked, intrigued and somewhat impressed.

"Kind of," Pansy answered. "It was in the book, and didn't really give us too many specifics. We're bound to Hermione in a way and always have called each other sisters since we formed the group. Our blood will link us to her, and we'll try to reawaken the desire we experienced and add that to her own." Ginny shuddered a bit on hearing this.

"I feel horrible," Ginny admitted.

"She'll be alright," Pansy said, not believing her own words. "Once she's safe," she added to make it a truer statement. They pulled out grease markers and began writing on each others forearms. _Libio__, fames, exoptare, cupiditas, egeo, desiderium, avere, praegestio apirare meus soror._

"Think that's enough?" Pansy joked awkwardly.

"Are you kidding? We're running out of skin." Ginny huffed.

Snape could see the Latin words for a myriad variations of desire from here. The crowd began to shift uncomfortably as the women muttered with one another, practicing the pronunciations. As far as Snape could hear, their Latin was perfect. _These were words they had practiced over and over already_, he thought. He could easily picture twenty virgins huddled in the Room of Requirement chanting secret words.

Pansy pulled out an dagger. "It's beautiful,"Ginny breathed. "What are the runes on the blade?"

"Different things, all good. I promise," Pansy winked.

Dumbledore reentered the kitchen, parting the group with his long cobalt robes. On the long kitchen table he placed a wide stone bowl and produced a silver pitcher full of ordinary water. He poured slowly into the bowl, chanting under his breath. Pansy and Ginny watched as he prepared the mirror. It never occurred to them that it would be the glassy surface of water. Once the water had stilled and the surface became a reflection of her face, Dumbledore retrieved a vial from his pocket and pulled out a single hair. There were several remaining and re replaced the vial in his pocket. The water did not shake or tremble the slightest bit, and everyone instinctively held their breath. Hermione's hair floated to the water's surface and caused a series of echoing ripples that rebounded from the edge of the bowl and back on itself. The water became unnaturally still, the ripples not repeating after the first return. The mirror was empty, and Pansy could not see even her own reflection anymore. _Definitely something magic at work here._

"Anytime you are ready my dears," his soft voice nudged them.

Pansy and Ginny knelt on opposite sides of the bowl, Pansy with dagger in hand. Their eyes met with a bit of fear. Ginny released a breath and nodded. Their right and left index fingers touching at the nail, Pansy pricked both of them and their blood ran together meeting at the tip, blood mixing until a drop fell into the basin cracking through the water's surface and falling to the bottom of the basin like a pebble. They read the lengths of their arms.

"Apirare libio meus soror… apirare fames meus soror..." _Infuse desire in my sister…_

---------------------

Hermione woke up from her nap. It was late, maybe ten or so. She rubbed her eyes and flicked on the light. The bulb flashed, threatening to go out, but then brightened. She stretched and got to her feet. She felt pretty rested, but still insecure in her new place. She reached into her bag and pulled out a few books. Still groggily she looked in the mirror, and did a double take…

_"My hair!" _She laughed and jumped excitedly. It had grown backto it's full bushy nature, and was clean to boot. Harry had talked with her before at how Aunt Petunia had forced him to get his hair cut and it kept growing back, like it had a mind of its own. Jake had cut her hair against her will. _There were advantages to being a witch. _Hermione hadn't practiced magic in a while and seeing her hair back was a confirmation that she still had her mojo.

She went back to the task at hand, feeling more like her old self. She moaned the loss of most of her books. They were all back at the cave, including Snape's book and her notes. Hermione hoped they wouldn't be searched too thoroughly— she thought she had crossed out all damning attempts at her ambiagram, and many poor attempts at poetry. Most of her notes were from last summer.

_Ah, here it is. 'Ancient Runes and Spells.'_ She flipped to the chapter she wanted and read first. Holding the book out in her left arm, she took out a black wax pencil and wrote on the door and its frame. One rune at a time, careful not to make errors, she drew upon ancient wandless ways of protecting her domain. Runes would have to do, and no one would expect it.

She stopped halfway, feeling a bit hot_. Funny, it should be getting cooler with the evening._ She grasped her t-shirt to get some air to her skin. _Whew._ She began to sweat, and felt a low ache, almost a burn.

_-------------------_

Slowly in the bowl a faint image of the wiry haired Gryffindor came into view and Minerva gasped. "There she is…"

Ginny and Pansy continued chanting. _Drip—_ another blood drop fell like a stone into the pool. "Apirare exoptare meus soror, Apirare cupiditas meus soror…"

Everyone watched at the room came into focus._ She was drawing runes, and then leaned against the door for support…_

"Apirare egeo meus soror, Apirare desiderium meus soror…"

_Hermione broke the wax pencil in half. "God, what's happening to me?" She took a shaky step back and felt her abdomen tighten painfully, her eyes watering. A sharp pain stabbed her in the heart and in her stomach and she gripped her middle as if she could pull the pain out._

_"Oh God!" She bit her lower lip as thoughts flooded with images of him, the things that past between them over the year, the visions that came to her during the spell._

"Apirare avere meus soror, apirare praegestio meus soror!" they finished, pulling their arms away to look into the mirror.

_Praegestio_, Snape thought leaning forward for a better look, _intense desire. _Hermione was there, in a shabby room, having doubled over onto a tiled floor. There was no sign there from what he could tell of her whereabouts.

"Look harder," Pansy said. "Can you see anything on the door? Do you think she's in a hotel or someone's house?" she asked to Ginny.

Ginny's heart leapt when she saw the visual conformation of Hermione alive and well, but her soul cried out when she saw her in pain. "Pansy, I don't know… _look at her_." She said, her eyes moist with tears. Then Pansy really looked at her sister in the bowl. _It must be unbearable. _They clung to one another for support, knowing all to well the anguish, this must be magnified for her.

_"AHHHHHH!!! This isn't… nat-ur-al!" Hermione's lips pressed together, her face sweaty and streaked with tears. She felt impulsive, like she had to get to Severus anyway she could._

_"Why are you doing this to me?" She screamed with balled fists at the air. Clutching her wand, she spun toward the door defensively, as if someone would leap out to attack her at any moment. She crumpled in pain. It had never hurt this badly when she thought of him. Even in the caves on the first days, even during the incantation. "I'll get you Voldemort," she sobbed under her breath. "I'll get you! I won't let you have him… I won't…" A moment passed and her desire increased, more pain and no pleasure, just intense longing, desire… loss. Her high keening could be heard as her chest heaved sorrow, and rummaged through her jeans pockets, unaware of spectators._

Ginny and Pansy felt victory close at hand as they recognized the gold portkey. And then watched as Hermione flung it in a cry of frustration against the door. Snape felt horrible somewhere in the pit of his stomach. It hurt him physically to see her in pain. _Damn it, stubborn girl! Come back! We'll protect you. I'll find a way…_

_Hermione's reflection clutched at her chest and she sobbed. She heard the voices over and over in her head and she repeated it on weighted breath aloud, "He'll never.. he could never love you."_

No one in the room could hear anything intelligible except see her pain, her desperation. There was not a dry eye.

"I can't see anything!" Ginny cried. "There's no clues, everything's just ordinary."

"Keep looking!" Pansy said. Everyone focused on the details of the room, looking for the tiniest shred of a clue that might suggest a location. A place to start looking.

And Snape sat horrified at the sight of Hermione in pain as the pit of anger and outrage bubbled up within him, only it wasn't only his own feelings but also the fear of another. His knuckles were white as he gripped his wand.

_Hermione stood straight up in a flurry of movement, eyes crazed— She ran her fingers through her hair and dumped out the contents of her bottomless bag. It was nearly empty. She had left the cave with almost nothing. Her belongings rattled out and shook to the floor. When she saw the shine of the hilt of the dagger she grabbed it and pointed towards her arm, and then herself. She knew a way out. No one would ever know._

Something exploded inside of Snape at that moment. _Gaia was very angry._ "NO!" A bright light shot out of the end of Snape's wand like a cannon and blasted the basin over, drenching most of the surrounding onlookers and causing many to draw their own wands.

"What the hell did you do that for Snape?!" Moody sneered.

"We were so close!" Fletcher said.

"Close to what?" Molly hissed. "She was about to do herself in!" Dumbledore retrieved the bowl in a flash and poured again, preparing the mirror. Pansy and Ginny looked at their arms and the grease marks had vanished. They hoped that the spell had ended, and with it her suffering.

"What are you doing? I won't put her through that again!" Snape growled.

"It is just to look. When she is no longer in desperation she will fade from view. Let us at least make sure she's alright," Albus said solemnly.

Arthur looked angrily at Snape, not believing his actions. Dumbledore caught his glance and led, "Snape did what was right in ending that spell. We should have ended it sooner. We will not talk any more of it." The severity in the Headmaster's voice indicated the matter was final. The water became still and he floated a second strand of hair to the surface.

Soon the relieved sighs of everyone could be heard as they saw Hermione again.

He wanted to reach out to her, to hold her and tell her that he was sorry. Snape would have done anything.

_Still crouched on the floor, she dropped the knife, weeping into her hands. She let out a few shuddering breaths and wiped her tears angrily, the fierce Gryffindor spirit back in place. The desire had miraculously subsided, though she could still feel it's ill effects. It was a dramatic difference from a moment before, but it felt like the floor had been pulled out from under her. She threw her hair back and grabbed a rubber band to secure the wild tresses. Grabbing the broken marker again, she took her book of runes and attempted to pick up where she left off. Nauthiz… Algiz…She slammed the book closed and threw the pencil across the room. Her hand was shaking too much to write. Spying the bottle, she could not think about a better time to have a second go. She grabbed a Styrofoam cup from the desk and poured herself a generous portion of firewhiskey. As she drank her image began to fade from view. No one saw her stumble to reach for the green ribbon which had disappeared under the bed. She replaced it on the bottle where it belonged, no one the wiser._

Pansy and Ginny were holding hands, still shaking a bit from the witnessed display. They had not healed their fingertips, their hands sticky with blood. Minerva washed their hands with a clean towel and healed them with a flick of her wand.

"Miss Granger will be alright. She is a very resilient and powerful young witch," Minerva said with encouragement, and not only for the benefit of the two guests.

Pansy caught Professor Snape's eye and addressed him. "Thank you for stopping the ritual. I'm so sorry we did it at all."

"Why?" It was done with good intentions," Arthur said soothingly.

Ginny snapped back, "It was _torture._ You can't understand how horrible it is to be trapped, to go so long without…" She clenched her teeth. "You didn't see Hermione in that cave for three weeks. As soon as we read the passage about the wards, she knew she wasn't coming back."

"She didn't sleep much, " Pansy whispered. "And when she did I could hear her sobbing. I don't think she was always aware of it."

Snape's chest caved a little more. His blood was still boiling from the sight of her fighting the onslaught of desire. He expected she would be overcome with a feverish yearning, but instead of writhing, she had curled up in pain and cried. _Why?_

"I'm so glad she's alright," Pansy breathed to Ginny.

"We're sorry, Hermione," Ginny whispered to the bowl with no image.

"You did fine," Minerva said, misty.

"It was a good suggestion, Miss Weasley. A good one. No harm was intended and Miss Granger, as always, bore it well." Dumbledore comforted her, with a pat on her shoulder.

Molly was still staring at the blank bowl as everyone departed the meeting a good twenty minutes later. Only Arthur, Remus, McGonagall, Snape, Dumbledore and the girls remained.

"She's in love, isn't she?" Molly asked Pansy, a secret Pansy told very few. She could only nod. Hermione's heart was breaking.

Albus took Snape aside, and said, "I'll keep this in my office as I have from the beginning. Sooner or later she will be visible again. We shall find her. Are you quite alright?" he asked the troubled man.

Snape's eyes were dark and he was still angry, but his agitation was subsiding. "Yes." The word was bit out.

"I take it your Goddess did not agree with the activities this evening," Dumbledore said low so no one else could hear.

"She did not." _And neither did I._

**Author's notes:**

I've reloaded this chapter with some rewrites. It was pointed out to me that an athame is a ritualistic knife used to cast circles and other things but never used for cutting. So in honor of all Wiccans out there, I changed it to be dagger that Pansy and Ginny use.

I wrestled with the writing of this chapter and you may flame me for it. I think that Hermione is a strong character but I wanted to be honest to what she's been through. Remember before I said Hermione did really well when she was taking care of other people but had trouble focusing on her self? Well she's been isolated for three months with no contact, healed Remus and then went on the lam. I hate to write her crying, but if I were in her shoes I would've kissed the ground and raided the kitchen too. She feels like a stranger in a house she grew up in, afraid to borrow the shower, but had been here a million times. It's great. If I get too many complaints I may re-write. Our heroine must have some faults and weaknesses somewhere, and I think her strength is her passionate heart and her weakness a stubbornness and desire to do the right thing at all cost.

Thanks very, very much to MA, who wrote me an e-mail and made many suggestions and edits for this chapter. One of the edits was changing "I look like a Chia Pet" to "I look like a sheep." Though either would be fine, juts in case you've never heard of ch-ch-ch Chia! Or if you are a trekkie, would you prefer tribble? Anyway, her hair is 'marish, thank god it grew back. She ain't Hermione without her hair. MA also helped me fill in annoying gaps and omissions in the story about relationships between characters… what happened to so and so? Professor McGonagall's reaction was also a direct result of our conversations. So thank you to you all for keeping me on my toes! The chapters are better because of your insightful comments and corrections.

BTW, in the previous chapter I made a reference to "Victim here! Victim here!" Any guesses as to which movie that came from? I like it and have to give credit where it's due. It's from Jumping Jack Flash with Whoopi Goldberg. In the scene, she's on the docks in the middle of the night and she notices her danger all alone in this setting and says, "I may as well pin a one dollar bill to my ass and scream 'Victim here! Victim here!'" Great comedy.

Thanks also to reviewers who got me though other means: Piglet, Katherine T. (okay so it was twenty two minutes, not ten), Angie, MA, and Shabopo's requests for 'are we there yet?' _When's my next chapter! _I love your excitement y'all!

Mintie- Thank you for coming on board! And thanks for your review. I ask all of the readers to let me know their specific beefs and questions. I frequently tweek the story accordingly.

CHsqrlgirl- Thank you, thank you. Hopefully you'll find the pull forced on Hermione in this chapter to be just awful.

Romm- Nnnnope. Calligraphy is too dangerous. But bartending… And the word thing is something I used to do in school (a lot of us did) when we were kids, we'd take a word like grass for example and make the G and R and A etc. out of tiny words. Like G would be Green, growth and R could be rabbits, rapid and so forth. All of Hermione's calligraphy looks too scripted to be identified as her handwriting and the WORD wasn't done in calligraphy fashion, though she probably borrowed concepts. Thank you for reviewing, hope you like the story direction!

crissy- Shining cauldrons? : ) Hermione's cauldrons are icky outside of a cave. Severus is going nuts. He's going to have to find some way to find her, or think about her til he comes up with something better.

Dragomaster Kurai- Thanks for your review. Sorry! It's finally here… Had to take a while to write it. Nearly caught up with my previous pre-written scenarios. Thank you for finally coming on board!

whizbees- Updated. : D Thanks for the review. Don't look so glum! (Accio new chapter… hey are you good or what?)

eav- Thanks! And stay tuned next week for another chapter of the Days of Our Spies… Sorry, that sounded really bad. cue music

alicat999- LMAO, aha ha. Thanks for the tutorial. I understand about line cutting, also have neighbors, and bad cable men. Harry's cool, and I love him—I would want him for my best friend wouldn't you? He's just a good guy. He's still being the dutiful friend. And I like the bit with Pansy's mum, though she's pretty ingrained in going along to get along, probably still believes a lot of the pureblood crap anyway. She may love her daughter, but she's far from reformed parent. I like the stuff with Draco, and in the next chapter, you'll see where it leads. Thanks, I liked the unicorns too! I like thinking of them as sacred animals and even to witches and wizards they seem to hold some mystery and elegance about them. And you're not weird. I squeal too!

Luna Writer- You're right about Remus, I'm going to go back today and re-read that bit, see if I can tweek it. He was thinking about that in a purely academic, technical sense, not to say 'woe is me, I'm not worthy.' I love your comments and I figured out what happened. I put your last review at the end of 18 and didn't have a review for 18 to put at the end of 19, because I updated so quickly. I hope you got my e-mail. I double-checked other reviews, just to make sure I didn't leave anyone out. I love you guys! Always appreciate feedback (in all its forms!).

mione drac opal- Here's your nice update! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Shabopo- Thank you, and you've spurred me on to reread the whole thing too. Thought it would have with future chapters. After a while, they all seem to run together for me! Hope you enjoy the update. Hermione is still strong uber girl, though she is suffering in this chap.

lyress- Thank you! And Dumbledore didn't tell Miss Weasley at Ginny's request, she knew most of it, just not the whole consummation thing… until now. (Re: second message: it's up! It's up!)

Tiffie101- Sorry to annoy… Hermione is still runnin'. Soon, soon, maybe 4 more chapters.

June Williams- Thank you. And if Severus had seen her in the forest, Ha, ha. There would have been some wild sex, filthy Gryffindor or no. Severus wouldn't made it back to Hogwarts without being attacked. Twice a week! Gods woman, what do you think I'm capable of? In need to write soon, and will try to post quickly, without sacrificing quality. On a side note, I loved your comments on wiktt and your unsubscribe. I only just joined sychophant hex to lurk and see what's up. I was disappointed. Hope it will pass, as many things do, but if this keeps up… ah well.

Min Hee- Heh! I'll give you drawn out. At least four more chapters to go, and it ain't gonna be easy for sev/herm. Thanks for reviewing!

Simply Scribbling- Muwahahaa! Thank you, so hard to get a clue when it's right in front of you, can't see the forest for the trees. I was best friends with my husband for a year before we started dating and then we liked each other for 6 months without a clue that we were attracted to one another. We wanted it so badly, that we were worried we were reading too much into things. It'll be three years Aug 11. Thank you for the fic endorsement, I'm very appreciative. I joined sycophant hex after you mentioned it and am trying to figure out how to post an up-loadable version of The Twenty on Ashwinder. The link kind of gets lost in Dark Sarcasm. I like the Nev/Millie pairing, though I doubt there will be much more focus on the SOS at this point. Thank you for your steadfast support! And reviews. More soon, I promise.

The Lone Trombone- Thanks! Here's another installment, hope it doesn't disappoint! The lone trombone? How cool. Do you play?

Helena- Woo hoo! Glad you liked the cave. But this part is all about Hermione being isolated. This is a part of the Muggle world she had never been before, and she's cut off… a fish out of water. See, when she finally has the opportunity to talk, she can't. Just awful. Poor Hermione, so hungry, but not starving. I figure, she's lost some weight, but she's not grotesquely thin—just something her friends would notice. She won't use Katie, because she's stubborn and doesn't want to increase opportunity for danger in the wizarding world, but Katie is really the perfect person to go to. She'll call on her, before the end. A fabulous ending coming up, several chapters away.

Althea Grey- Cool. You're in league with Dumbledore's group you are. Thanks for your reviews! They are so encouraging. Severus will have his test in these two-three chapters.

Nakhash Mekashefah- Nope, she didn't take everything. In fact, she boxed up, though it's not discussed her calligraphy supplies and other damning evidence, including notes etc for Severus in case of her death. She made similar arrangements for the other people in her life and everything is with Melanie, charmed to be small. The chapters are unfolding, several more til the finish. As always thank you for your feedback!

severessa- Thank you and I couldn't agree more about prayer. Hermione will always find her strength in her faith when she feels powerless.

Matte- Not too bad? Good grief you're cool. She's butt cold in the forest for three months with nothing but nutritional supplements and a cauldron she can't use anymore for bathing. Hahh! Well Hermione at least is not an outdoorswoman. Thanks for reviewing! waves back

Poetrychik- Woo hoo! Me love cliffies! And you be getting mo. Thank you for reviewing! Tell me more bout what loose ends you want tied up!

Moon-n-Universe-Goddess- Thank you! And thanks for reading.

Salems Goddess- It's weird to hear you say that, so I can't agree. If this is the best fic you ever read PLEASE go to other website or join wiktt or look at Abby and Anne's stories. God there are fabulous rock you world stories out there, some long completed. Go to Ashwinder/Synchophant Hex or Lord and Lady Snape, EnSnared had a good website too with fan fic recs. Read _Cloak of Courage_ by Wendy Nat, or _Ordinary People_ by Hayseed.

Lori- Thank you! She went to hide in seedy London! And yes, you can too remark. No thoughts or observations are bad. All feedback is appreciated. Thank you for reviewing.

Marina- Yeah, that is frustrating isn't it? What the Headmaster was trying to say was that they didn't want to force her to come back only to run away, and to some degree they feel they know better than she, but also are intensely curious about who her OOD is, how they can protect him, and why she can't finish the spell. Would it really be so bad?

Eek, sorry didn't go into the Order decision making system. I think it's by majority, but also Dumbledore is at the head. He may make some command decisions, but I don't think he go full tilt against the wishes of everyone. I read some fics where dramatic, unethical-as you say, things have happened for the good of the Order etc… but in reality I don't think that will happen. I did have a bit in this fic (which I have discarded), where Hermione is refusing to talk to Snape and Dumbledore and the Big D gives her Veritaserum… ah the possibilities for hell. I have rewritten that scenario to be far more exciting... the tale continues! Death Eaters are looking, but don't know where, sorry haven't written in that end of things, wanted it to be a mystery. Thank you for reviewing.

wackoramaco87- Hey, thanks for your feedback. Hope you like her new digs. Severus is too busy desiring Hermione to realize he's desired himself. Can't wait for you to see what will happen next.

Pandora Nervosa- Thank you! Hermione is on the run. Remus won't be the last mistake Headmaster and Co. make. Hope you like this chapter. And on to 21…

Kylara- Hermione will NOT be dragged. She's not one to be treated that way. If that happened she'd be kicking someone's arse. Glad you like the camping issue, hope you like her bath in this chapter. Poor Hermione, she should never be deprived of the necessities.

Alpha- Thank you for reading and reviewing.

Ezmerelda- Hey! I thought the same thing about the "word," but then it's not calligraphy, but a game as kids we use to make up in school. I was maybe 10. A crude example would be to use the word grass and the letter G would have the tiny repeated words green, growth and R might be rapid, rabbits and so forth. I suppose hers is a little more sophisticated, but Snape still thinks his artist is probably a man. Or at least an adult. The Ogden's above is purchased by everyone, so while they are surprised she had it, they aren't surprised of the brand. I told MA that Katie really won't be consulted for who the calligrapher is, though I'm thinking of including her as a means to find out if she purchased the book at Flourish and Blotts or by mail order, since they have a sales ledger.

Azulkan2- hey there! The new chapter addressed your questions! Hope you like the update. Thanks for reviewing.

franflutewitch- So go you keep on. Hope things are still well for you. And as for Snape finding her in the forest…nah. But I did consider a dream sequence for him where he gets to the hero… but nah. Soon there will be before on him identifying or trying to deny he own feelings.


	21. Making Your Mark

**Disclaimer:**  All in the Harry Potter universe belongs to J.K. Rowling.  I make no money.

I rewrote the end of last chapter.  Added it on for your review.

_Where we left off…_

Pansy and Ginny were holding hands, still shaking a bit from the witnessed display.  They had not healed their fingertips, their hands sticky with blood.  Minerva washed their hands with a clean towel and healed them with a flick of her wand.

"Miss Granger will be alright.  She is a very resilient and powerful young witch," Minerva said with encouragement, and not only for the benefit of the two guests.

Pansy caught Professor Snape's eye and addressed him.  "Thank you for stopping the ritual.  I'm so sorry we did it at all."

"Why?"  It was done with good intentions,"  Arthur said soothingly.

Ginny snapped back, "It was _torture._  You can't understand how horrible it is to be trapped, to go so long without…" She clenched her teeth.  "You didn't see Hermione in that cave for three weeks.  As soon as we read the passage about the wards, she knew she wasn't coming back."

"She didn't sleep much, "  Pansy whispered.  "And when she did I could hear her sobbing.  I don't think she was always aware of it."

Snape's chest caved a little more.  His blood was still boiling from the sight of her fighting the onslaught of desire.  He expected she would be overcome with a feverish yearning, but instead of writhing, she had curled up in pain and cried.  _Why?_

"I'm so glad she's alright,"  Pansy breathed to Ginny.

"We're sorry, Hermione," Ginny whispered to the bowl with no image.

"You did fine,"  Minerva said, misty.

"It was a good suggestion, Miss Weasley.  A good one.  No harm was intended and Miss Granger, as always, bore it well."  Dumbledore comforted her, with a pat on her shoulder.

Molly was still staring at the blank bowl as everyone departed the meeting a good twenty minutes later.  Only Arthur, Remus, McGonagall, Snape, Dumbledore and the girls remained.

"She's in love, isn't she?" Molly asked Pansy, a secret Pansy told very few.  She could only nod. Hermione's heart was breaking.

Albus took Snape aside, and said, "I'll keep this in my office as I have from the beginning.  Sooner or later she will be visible again.  We shall find her.  Are you quite alright?" he asked the troubled man.

Snape's eyes were dark and he was still angry, but his agitation was subsiding.  "Yes," he said curtly.

"I take it your Goddess did not agree with the activities this evening,"  Dumbledore said low so no one else could hear.

"She did not."  _And neither did I._

**Chapter Twenty-One:     Making Your Mark**

Dumbledore's personal inquiry left Snape feeling a little too exposed in present company.  Minerva and Remus were showing far too much interest in his and Dumbledore's hushed conversation.  Snape quickly adopted a look reserved for Death Eaters, a blameless expression of aloof coldness.  He wasn't going to make any excuses for his behavior this evening.

What Snape feared most was that his caring for Hermione would be obvious to everyone, yet it was naked only to him. 

No one was surprised by his outburst.  Moody distrusted him, and practically expected violence from him.  Minerva always knew him to be passionately protective of women, even in his school days.  His compassion was there, though hidden under a veil of insults and disrespectful comments.  Dumbledore and Remus still recognized Snape's efforts to reconcile his past.

Snape had always been fiercely defensive of women, even in his youth.  One of the reasons he'd joined the side of the light was after a young girl's death, the sad outcome of his initiation assignment— he had kidnapped a girl who was not but fourteen.  He wasn't quite the same after that. 

Voldemort's decision to have Severus make a list of the school's virgins had reopened old wounds.  Revels was one thing, they always existed, were not mandatory and somewhat easy to avoid.  Voldemort rarely ever participated except out of curiosity at the unimaginable behavior of his minions.  They were far more suggestible under the influence of alcohol and other sexual indulgences.  The Dark Lord always watched to see what their weaknesses were.  Blackmail was powerful.  Snape steered clear of those deviant opportunities for self-indulgence and depravity.

Snape had also been feeling rather useless of late with Voldemort's new secrecy, and being the one responsible for brewing the Haustum Vigor.  In their eyes Snape had already paid enough dues and was an equal member of the Order, same as any other member.  With the Dark Mark branded on his arm and a pardoned life sentence in Azkaban, it was Snape who could not forgive himself.

Snape left the Headquarters abruptly, without so much as a goodnight. Pacing back into his dungeons, he attempted to unwind for bed.  It was nearly two a.m. and he could not still get Hermione's image out of his mind.  He picked up her notes and reviewed them again, the complex theories of a thoroughly organized researcher.  _Who was the woman back at that place?  What had she lost?  _She wasn't the same anymore, and he wondered what had changed.

"Ginny, Pansy.  Come you two.  Follow me."  Pansy and Ginny shot a look to at each other, and Ginny was grateful she had peer support.  Molly ushered them both into the study and transfigured a third chair for them to sit.

Mrs. Weasley hugged them both fiercely, something utterly foreign to Pansy.

"Mum, I can't breathe,"  Ginny said into her crocheted sweater.  She feared the upcoming discussion, but she shouldn't have.

"Ginny… Pansy…" Molly regarded each fondly.  "I am so proud of you!"  Mrs. Weasley's eyes sparkled with intense emotion.  "The women of our family have always been strong and you are no different," she said to Ginny squeezing her elbow.  "And you Pansy, good for you for giving old Moody a piece of your mind!  Shame on him for what he said.  You've been through a lot this year and I must say, this is a very exclusive club you've been invited to this evening.  And if Albus Dumbledore invited you both tonight, you can be sure he'll be asking you to join the Order when you graduate."

"Thank you for saying that Mrs. Weasley,"  Pansy said formally.

"I'm not just _saying that_, dear.  We'd be _honored_ to have you."  Molly fixed her in her eye and communicated that wordless motherly look which can only be understood on a deeper level.

Pansy kept her feelings in check but it was difficult.  She'd felt almost the same at St. Peter's when Mrs. Granger had complemented her so well.  _So genuine._

"You've been keeping so many things secret these last months, and here all the time there was more to say.  You shouldn't have been afraid to come to me with this," Molly admonished sweetly.  Ginny gave a slight look of disbelief that did not go unnoticed.  "…and don't give me that look Ginerva Weasley," Molly tone changed to a lecture.  "Strange things happen in the wizarding world, we all know.  Sometimes we aren't meant to understand, but you shouldn't assume that we wouldn't accept it just because it seems out of the ordinary."

"Come on mum,"  Ginny sighed skeptically, "you would have never let…"

"You're damn right I wouldn't have let you do that spell young lady!"  The motherly reproach came easily.  There was the parent Ginny knew.  "That was dangerous what you did!  But," her tone changed again to one of soft encouragement, "that doesn't mean it wasn't the _right _thing to do."

Pansy and Ginny were flat out shocked.

"Mrs. Weasley, you're telling me that twenty virgins kept the spell's plans a secret for four months, plotting behind closed doors, reading a book considered Dark by many, disrupted a school function and poisoned a known Death Eater in front of everybody and then ran away from Hogwarts, hiding out for three weeks… and you're telling me that's okay with you??!!"  Pansy asked.

Mrs. Weasley turned scarlet.  She was trying to do the understanding parent bit, and had prepared well for this.  But hearing it put like that… she took a deep breath.  "It was horrible, and you girls worried me half to death I'll have you know," she blotted tearful eyes with a handkerchief.  "But there just cannot be very many instances where it would be necessary to do what you did, so you just better clue somebody in to what you think up next time." 

She took a moment and laughed.  "I would've like to have seen Lucius Malfoy drop like a log in the middle of the Great Hall."

Ginny and Pansy grinned.  That _was_ pretty spectacular.

"How are you both since you completed the spell?"  Molly asked hesitantly.

_Here it comes_, Ginny thought.  "Fine, mum," she said in her sing song way.  _Please don't go there._

"I guess it's a little late for a talk on the birds and the bees," Mrs. Weasley laughed a little.

Pansy and Ginny laughed with her once they realized she was making a joke.  The birds, bees, boys, girls and contraceptive potions were well covered by Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall.  They didn't want a second lesson.

Molly smiled at Pansy and then addressed her daughter.  "I was sixteen when I fell in love with your father."  Ginny's mouth hung wide open, she'd always thought they'd gotten together after school.  "I never told you that, because I wanted you to focus on your education, and love can be distracting.  As if you get to _choose_ when it happens,"  Molly snorted.  "It just is, isn't it?"

She might as well have been talking to Pansy.  Pansy hadn't gotten to choose who she was attracted to, it just happened.  And now that she and Draco were no longer intimate, she was more drawn to him than ever.  She didn't know how to define their relationship at the moment.  But she needed him.

Molly looked knowingly into her daughter's eyes.  "You're in love with Harry, aren't you?"

"Yes, mum.  I do love him."  She said it firmly.  A fact.  Certainty.

Her mother smiled in understanding.  "Have you told him?"

"Yeah, he feels the same."

Molly approved and hugged Ginny again. 

"I know it's not easy  in these times," Mrs. Weasley said with serious tone.  "I'm going to give you both some advice, and I want you to hear me out.  Boys are fickle and inconsistent in their youth, and we tend to know what we want much earlier than they.  Don't get me wrong," seeing Ginny about to object, "Harry is a fine boy and he knows some of what lies ahead.  But he is emotional, and has been wrestling with a lot lately.  Do not be surprised if he wavers before he decides to settle down.  And that better be a long time from now," she lectured with a wink.

"Harry won't cheat on me if that's what you're getting at,"  Ginny said.

"Don't get huffy with me, young lady.  What I mean is that he may push you away, and not really understand why he's doing it."  Ginny had a taste of that already after Sirius' death.  "When you need to talk with someone about things, just you remember that your father and I got married in the middle of the war.  It was not easy, but look what I have to show for my patience! "  She smiled and held Ginny at arms length, then hugged her again.  Ginny had a new female confidant.  She had no idea it would be her own mother.

"That goes the same for you, Pansy.  You are always welcome to talk with me if you need,"  she said with a twinkle, gripping her shoulder tenderly. 

Pansy knew she meant it.  She had felt more accepted, cherished and at home in five minutes with Ginny's mother than she had almost all of her life with her own family.  Mr. and Mrs. Weasley married for love, not blood.  Probably had as many kids as they wanted, not stopping with the first boy as many families did, halting at the first heir. Mrs. Weasley had her priorities straight.  The Weasley family may have had little money, but they all seemed happy.  _And people said the Weasley's were poor.   _

That's what it was always like for Ginny, she could tell.  Pansy saw Ginny's eye rolling, anticipating her mother's reprimand.  Ginny knew what to expect from her own mother, and that showed Pansy that Mrs. Weasley was someone who could be counted on— to be honest, consistent, and there for her.  Pansy didn't mind the lectures, the hugs or advice at all.  She needed that.

---------------

Katie Renou sat enjoying her morning tea and writing in her diary.  It was her Sunday morning routine, where her personal thoughts were flowing down her arm and through her nib in fluid strokes.  Sundays were slower than others and generally the bookstore did fine with one clerk.  They knew not to disturb her.  Katie enjoyed the solitude of her cozy office, surrounded in the company of books she loved and the art she'd collected over the years.  She preferred to dress formally, a way of embracing the memory of a more civilized time.  Her bodice fit snugly, and her sleeves were long ending in lace.  She felt calm with the long feather quill in her hand.

Buckwheat flew in and upon his return hooted low.  The only note attached to his claw was the unopened inquiry she sent.  She guessed Hermione had to move like she'd said in her last letter, or maybe couldn't respond to her note.  Katie had sent him on an unscheduled visit yesterday without asking just to see about her welfare, perhaps tempt her again with the offer of help.  She was hoping at least for an additional word on her safety.  Only Buckwheat knew of Hermione's previous whereabouts, and even if he could speak, Katie knew he would take it to his grave.  So she parted with a piece of pastry for her feathered messenger.  While he often picked at her leavings, she knew he did it to humor her.  He preferred to hunt. 

She sighed her disappointment, her free flow of ideas abruptly replaced with her concern for Hermione.

Katie sipped her tea and could hear murmuring in the background.  It sounded like the customers were starting in a little early for a Sunday, though it could have been another unsuccessful attempt by Elmer to woo her new sales clerk Emily.  She hoped the boy wouldn't scare her off.

"Good morning, I was wondering if I might speak to you about your sales logs…"

"Professor Snape, if you would like a recording of the sales of your book, I will tell you what we used to tell Mr. Lockhart, we submit them to the publish…"

_Damn Lockhart, I need some bloody answers!_  Snape fumed and looked around.  He did not have time for silly arguments.  "Where is Ms. Renou?  I would like to speak with her," he bit out tersely.

"I'm sorry she's busy at the moment…" the attendant tried to remain firm.

"Now."  His eyes flashed and left no other safe option other than compliance.

'Y-yes, sir," she said shuffling hastily towards Katie's door to knock.  _Hopefully she wouldn't be too upset_.  Right now Katie seemed the lesser of two evils.

"Ms. Renou?"  The door cracked open and Katie closed her diary, locking it in her drawer.  She rubbed her eyes and took another sip of tea.

"Yes, what is it Emily?  Come in."  Katie was feeling discouraged but the clerk mistook her expression for one of annoyance.

"Sorry to bother you, but there's a gentleman here to see you."

Katie stood a little surprised to see the formidable man towering over Emily.  The clerk turned and gasped, not realizing he had followed her.

"I guess you've found her sir," Emily said crisply and left the intrusive man a wide berth.

"Katie, may I beg a moment of your time?"  Snape inquired more sweetly than his previous dialogue.

"Of course, Professor Snape.  Please sit.  Would you care for some tea?"  She shut her door and Buckwheat hooted his hello.

"No, thank you."  He smiled and acknowledged her companion with a nod.

"Do you have some more work…" she began, afraid of the response.

"No, actually I came on a rather _delicate_ matter.  If you remember, a number of students went missing from Hogwarts over Christmas," Snape began cautiously.  They discussed these details with very few people.

"But they returned— I saw it in the paper."  Katie was relieved his hadn't asked for the mystery calligrapher to pen a new work, and now worried about where this conversation was heading.

"This has to remain between us, and I know you can be discreet.  Hermione Granger has not returned and we found a copy of _Revitalizing Potions for the Modern Age_ in the place where she was staying."

"I saw the article.  Merlin, she was the young lady who was with you that day last summer, correct?"

He nodded.

"So you have located her?" Katie asked eagerly.

"No.  We are still looking. I thought perhaps if I could look at your sales records, it might shed some light on her whereabouts.  A long shot, I know.  She purchased it after Christmas.  We are sure she wouldn't have risked being seen in the shop, so we suspected she may have had it delivered… maybe to a friend or family member?"  Snape groaned inwardly. He felt like this would be another dead end.  But searching bookstores for something he knew she'd purchased was preferable to the wild goose chase that Remus and Tonks were on turning over old leads.

"Stay here.  Have some tea, this could take awhile.  I'll return shortly."  Katie got up from her seat and exited her office, leaving Snape with the security guard, Buckwheat.  He was trustworthy enough not to rifle through her things.  Beside, Buckwheat would peck him to death if he did.

"Elmer?  Elmer?" She called back to the rear, descending the steps to their delivery room.

"Yes, ma'am?"  the young nineteen year old with moppy hair came into view.

"I need the delivery logs for just after Christmas through March."

"Are you nuts?  Months ago and through the holidays?  You're mad!" He whined. 

"Elmer, it's important.  I need them _now_."  Just to make her point, she came behind the desk and began pulling volumes and ledgers off the shelf. 

Elmer finally fell in, looking for December, muttering to himself.  _More work_.  Those logs were heavy, and Ms. Renou didn't like tainting books with magical lightening and shrinking.   '_There could be an accident,' _she had said.  _Yeah, there could be an accident all right.  I could drop one on my foot and break it.  Though Ms. Renou would probably ask if the book was damaged._

Katie knew _exactly_ how Miss Granger got her book and that it indeed had been delivered.  _Might as well at least let the record reflect that. _One would never know by looking at her prim and formal attire and the proper way she carried herself—but in a former life, Katie was an excellent forger, hence her rather cautious nature.  She was fascinated with handwriting, so it was nothing at all to squeeze in_  "H.Grangr, Revitaliz. PMA" _somewhat messily in a vacant space under a column for early February.  The handwriting looked identical to the previous entry.  Katie was good.  _Hmmm…delivery logs._  She went to go doctor those as well.

About ten minutes had passed and she loaded a cart with the logs for the last three months. Snape was seated right where she'd left him, finding some interest in an Italian glass paperweight on her desk. She wheeled the cart into her office and scooted it beside her desk.  Clearing off a broad space for them both to work, she took her seat and pulled the first register from Christmas.

"What are all of these?" Snape asked, stunned at the rather tall stack.  He had spent all day yesterday at nine bookstores scattered throughout wizarding England.  Those businesses sales combined seemed to pale in comparison to the volume Flourish and Blots did.  He should've come here first.

"Sales logs from Christmas to current.  I assumed you wanted to see them all?"

 "Yes."  Snape sipped his tea and slipped off the topmost book.  _March 1997._  Remembering her lengthy notes, he suspected he should go further back.  "I should look at January first, I think."

"Alrighht…" she drawled out as she perused the stack. "This one."

She began to scan through December.  "We use a lot of abbreviations, so if you look in the 'item sold' column you may see _Revitalizing,_ or _RPMA_ or any variation thereof."

It was tedious work, though Katie was searching as though it bothered her not at all.  Snape reached for the next ledger.

"Your book is still doing quite well.  You must be proud.  Thank you for sending me a copy."

"It was no trouble," he said as he sat transfixed by the blur of entries before him.  "And you've been so helpful… wait.  Here.  This is it, I think."  He pointed and there was her forged entry from an hour earlier.

_Thank God, it didn't take him that long_.  "Where?" She tilted her head to see.  "That's February tenth, number 39," she muttered aloud, scribbling the numbers out on a scrap of parchment.  "A delivery by… Chiquita."  Katie stood up and ushered Snape to follow her back to the delivery area.

"Chiquita?"

She pointed to a wildly yellow tropical bird.  "The delivery owl… well, they aren't all owls, but they all deliver."  They passed the owlery and there were 20 other owls, falcons and tropical birds in the cages there.  From the front of the store, he had no idea they did so much business.

Katie flipped though the delivery log and found the entry.  "Hmmm.  That's odd."

"What's odd?"  Snape leaned over to see.

"The package was delivered to an alleyway right outside the Leaky Cauldron, in Muggle London.  It's walking distance from here, but that's the place people go, I suppose, if they don't wish to enter the wizarding community.  Would you like me to show you?"

"No," he sighed. "That won't be necessary.  Thank you for your assistance."

By the look of disappointment on Snape's face, Katie felt a bit of pride knowing she managed to fool him, both protecting her source and her reputation for secrecy.  However, she couldn't help but feel a bit of guilt that she had let Snape down— and perhaps Hermione as well, for it sounded as if the danger was not yet over for her.  Of course, revealing what she knew meant that she would need to tell him about Hermione's role as calligrapher, and that she could not do.  Historically, when exceptions had been made, bad things always followed.  Katie Renou followed her code to the letter and would not change this time.  Besides, she didn't know where she was anyway, and had nothing useful to contribute to his search other than a missed opportunity.  Hermione had been offered help, and she declined.  She knew where to find her if she changed her mind.

Snape checked with the Knight Bus, but of course, they would have known immediately if she had used it.  Tonks checked the taxis for that day.  No luck there.  He just couldn't imagine how she could've gotten from the forest to Diagon Alley and back again.  _How many portkeys did she have anyway?  Did she have help?_  There were too many questions and not enough answers.  Once the questions grew too vague and speculative, filled with too many ifs and maybes, Snape knew they were no longer worth pursuing.  _Damn it, Hermione.  Where are you?._

------------------

The Ogden's could still clean cauldrons.  And produce massive hangovers.  Hermione's day began when a car backfired and she rolled out of bed, colliding with cold floor.

_Shit._  She needed about ten aspirin.  Or one decent hangover potion.  _Double shit._

No aspirin, no potion, no coffee and no Severus to wake up next to.  She had been a blubbering drunk, crying her eyes out last night into her pillow about her woes. 

From what she could remember, something really wasn't right about last night, and noticed the unfinished runes on the doorframe.  She spied the broken wax pencil, her empty bag, her belongings strewn over the floor.  And it came flooding back to her— the pain and anguish of loss.  It felt like she had died.  _You can't have that.  It's not for you._  She saw the knife Millicent had given her prior to their return to Hogwarts and remembered thinking about killing herself.  She chickened out…  thinking pain might extinguish the other hurt filling her heart.  Then had the idea that perhaps if she died, no one would ever know she loved him.  _Then he would be safe.  Wouldn't he?_

She always imagined that if she or her friends died at an early age, it would be during Voldemort's defeat.  Hermione had pictured it a dozen different ways, but then Snape was in a pit of snakes all of the time— _could he really last until the end?_  Suddenly she felt selfish, like she was depriving him and Hogwarts of safety by not giving him the courtesy of hearing from her.   These of course, were the private thoughts of a sensible Gryffindor, but Hermione knew in her heart of hearts that Snape would refuse her.  He would laugh at her, and may not even apologize for doing so. 

This was the man who healed a foolish girl from dye poisoning, from inhaling noxious fumes— The man who told her he had no time for 'idle chitchat' with her during the summer, _that_ was the man who had a relationship with her.  Not someone who respected her as an equal, though she did know he acknowledged her intelligence and encouraged her—so it was strictly student/teacher.  Not someone who saw her as a woman.  Hermione had studied hard, producing excellent work even while in captivity.  She felt nearly ready to take NEWTS just to get out of school.  Even if she survived, she couldn't go back now.  It just wouldn't be the same, certainly not with him there.  She laughed to herself.  It was a joke to consider that she could return to academic life. 

She could return to Hogwarts sure—_ if_ the object if her desire were different.  She could shag Draco, hell she even could shag Dumbledore for the sake of the wards.  But with them no feelings were involved, she couldn't be hurt.  Hermione wasn't about to open up her heart to a scorching dismissal from a man who crafted insults with easy skill.  _Silly girl, what would a grown man need of a young chit like you!_  She knew too well how cruel he could be, and it made it more difficult to consider that when admiring his more redeeming qualities.   Snape struck out at those who reached out to him.  It was a sheer miracle her independent study lasted as long as it did.  _You are drooling on my sofa, Miss Granger.  _Oh he'd have sex with her,  Snape was a man of sacrifice and duty.  But she just could not bear it, if she was reminded yet again that she, the insufferable know-it-all Gryffindor was someone to be endured… and discarded.__

_Sod it all._

Without even thinking about it, she grabbed the wax pencil and scribbled out the remaining runes on the door frame like a pro. She stomped into the shower and furiously scrubbed out her frustrated feelings.  Hermione was angry. '_She could use it_ _to be motivated'_, she told herself.  Hermione was determined to overcome this ridiculous obsession.  _She was Kate Evans.  A bartender, a Muggle. Ordinary.  Normal._

And twice a day, randy as hell.

Hermione threw on jeans and her Grateful Dead shirt again, hoping that it might magically boost her confidence for her first stab at bartending.  With the aid of numerous bobby pins, she pulled her bushy hair back tightly in a twist and put on her only lipstick.  The Celtic knots remained at her lobes and she wished they'd hung a bit longer.

It was 4:15 p.m. and she wanted to settle in, knowing it would take her longer to feel comfortable in her new job.  She met up with her trainer Danny, a handsome dark-skinned man who had worked here five years already.  From what Hermione could gather he was thirty going on twenty-one— all of the maturity of his years and yet with the energy of people half his age, helping him keep up as a bartender.

"Katie?"

"It's Kate,"  Hermione corrected, hoping she didn't sound too brusque.

"Kate, right.  The cases of liquor are back here.  They're pretty heavy, so if you need help, tell me or Gabe.  We have a cart," casting a look at the rickety wood frame on three and a half wheels which could pass for the definition of cart, "but the wheels have a mind of their own.  After breaking four cases of whiskey all over the back floor, it's better just to carry them out by hand."

They stocked the bar, and she was introduced to the rest of the crew.  A nice enough lot, they welcomed her at least to share the workload.

There were two bouncers taking a cover fee and watching for those unavoidable brawls that often followed intoxication.  Frank was a huge man, six-foot five and a broad-shouldered hulk of a Scotsman.  His voice had a natural depth to match his frame, and Hermione noted that he was extraordinarily polite.  Mick on the other hand was a more modest build, at least when standing beside Frank.  He sometimes looked like he'd just as soon shoot you as look at you for his glaring.  He had a foul mouth and sprinkled 'fuck' and other expletives throughout his sentences whether they belonged there or not.  At first she thought he was all talk, until she saw him break up a fight near the entrance between two guys and physically throw them out without effort.  He could handle himself.  Frank, in contrast, used his social skills to diffuse situations with grace.  His brawn was intimidating enough, and she trusted him to be sensible.

Danny introduced her to the two other bartenders. Gabe was a local part-time university student, and Roxy or just 'Rocks' was a glamorous punk femme fatale.  She was a bombshell— and complete with hot pink hair, tattoos, and multiple piercings, she was heart-stopping kinky.  '_She makes great tips,'_ Danny said.  Hermione's first guess that Roxy was a derivative of her name, like Rachel or Racquel or Roxanne. 

Her name was Leslie. 

Roxy was her nickname because it sounded cool, and Rocks just because she had kicked a guy in the balls so hard he had to be picked up in an ambulance, right after he had tried to assault her in the back lot after a shift.  Roxy glowed in the dark, and many patrons sought her out, just to have her personally pour their shots.

Hermione did not want to stand out, and after seeing Roxy's hair, was determined to pick up some black hair paint  (temporary so that it would wash out) but just enough so that she could disappear a little more, and fade into oblivion. 

"Ooh, you could go Goth," Roxy said.  "It's so _you_."  She'd only met her five minutes ago and Roxy was already plotting her makeover session.  Hermione was a bit hesitant to leap out into friendship, but she needed to get out, and Roxy had supplies.

At first, the pace was slow as people trickled in from work.  The tinted windows kept the club rather dark and she felt safe with the length of the bar between her and the patrons… and the front door.  _So this is pretty easy,_ she thought as she poured four shots at once.  But Hermione was being lulled into an easy confidence, about to be shaken by the rapidly growing crowd.

An hour or so later, the liquor was flowing.  It was black and smoky, the beat of the music, heavy on the bass, thumped underfoot— even the glasses vibrated.  She could barely hear the drink orders over the noise, music, and conversation.  She had to resort to shouting, lip reading and hand signals.  Hermione didn't know what time it was, all that mattered was that the man in front of her had just ordered thirty-six shots of tequila.

As Hermione looked to her left, she caught a glimpse of Danny smirking at her out of the corner of her eye.  He pulled dozens of shot glasses and lined them up on the bar, three rows of ten.  With a quick two-handed approach, they were all filled in less than twenty seconds.  He turned to face her after the drinks had left, raising an eyebrow in a dare. _Do it_.

Hermione pulled a fresh tray and lined up three rows of twelve, filling them in no time.  Not nearly as quickly as Danny, and even at that, she spilled a little—but all in all she didn't do half bad.  He smiled and nodded in approval of her efforts.  She was officially a bartender.

She had filled seven more orders before the same man returned.

"That was vodka!!" he shouted.

"What?!"  Hermione leaned over the bar, straining to hear.

"We wanted TEQUILA!" The twenty-something guy screamed at her, though not out of rudeness.

_Oh shit.  Did he want his money back?_

Danny rescued her, his arm tightly around her neck.  "Special tequila, no refunds _understand_?"  he said to the man.  The young patron barked another order which Danny rapidly filled and took his money.

"Don't let the customers here push you around, Kate.  You have what they want.  They won't stop coming back to the bar, just because you gave them the wrong flavor of poison," he teased.

"But I gave him vodka instead of…"

"Did he bring back a tray of untouched drinks?"  Danny raised his eyebrows quizzically.

She broke into a smile.

"Well then, guess they'll achieve the same result regardless of the distiller!  You're doing fine.  This is a bar not a hospital.  You look like you're performing surgery or something.  Loosen up, Kate! They're just FUCKING SHOTS!"  Danny howled laughing over the music as he poured two rows of twelve for the lady in front of him.

He reached into the bin below and his expression changed abruptly.  "Oh shit!"  He looked beneath the bar.  "Glass call!"  He grabbed Hermione and two buckets, urging her to gather outstanding shot glasses.  The clubs tables were littered with them.  If they weren't fast enough they would run out of glasses, the flow of liquor would stop, along with the tips, and it would hit them hard.

They gathered glasses in the nick of time as the guy in back was frantically washing.  When Hermione came back to the bar she caught a glimpse of a white-blond head and immediately ducked behind the bar, slamming into the row of bottles behind her.  _God, could it be Malfoy?_ 

Danny saw the whole thing and was beginning to worry about his new partner. 

She saw the reflection of the blonde in question in the mirror behind the shelves that held liquor on display behind the bar, he walked forward to order drinks and… _Thank God, it wasn't him. _

"You recognize someone?"he asked, pouring two drinks.__

"No, it's nothing.  S'alright."  She still looked a bit shaky while trying to compose herself.

At 2:30 a.m. her heart was racing along with the beat of music long since turned off, and she was dead tired.  If she was a waiter like Jake, she would've said she got 'slammed', but Danny was quick to point out this was how it was _every_ night.

"You'll get used to it."  Danny said.  "Hey?  Did you drive?"

"No, I walked," she volunteered a bit vaguely.

"You live near here? Are you mad? This place isn't really so safe to be walking at night.  Can I walk you home?"  He offered.

"That's not necessary, really.  You can't do that every night," Hermione replied, but really became concerned about his experiences in this area.  She barely felt safe in her own place.

He noticed she still seemed a bit jumpy, and wondered if she had something to be jumpy about.  "Hey Frank?"

"Yeah?" came the deep voice from the delivery area.

"Can you walk Kate home?  She lives close by and actually thought she'd walk _by herself_."

"Sure, absolutely Kate.  You shouldn't walk alone, and I refuse to take no for an answer.  Come on, I'll hook you up."  He ushered her in back and Danny walked to his own car, leaving in a beat up Ford.

Frank was a nice enough guy, and such a gentleman.  He talked freely about his family— he cared for his disabled mother and little sister, used to attend university and dropped out when his mother became ill.  Frank provided her with mace and gave her tips on safety as they walked.  After finding out a little bit more about him, she felt more comfortable divulging a bit about her situation when he asked her the question on everyone's mind.

"Kate, I know that you're new, and I don't mean to press, but you looked really bothered when that blond man walked in tonight.  Are you okay?  I mean, Nick told me you asked to be paid cash— are you running from someone?"

_Damn, he had her profiled._  But she couldn't see much from the bar, frequently distracted by the fast pace of the job.  She needed another pair of eyes.  "Frank, it's complicated.  But could I ask you to do something for me?"

"Sure."  He nodded at rapt attention.

"There is a man with long platinum blond hair who may come looking for me.  He looks arrogant, sure of himself, and carries a walking stick.  He may or may not carry a cloak with him.  Always dresses formally.  He'll look way out of place in a bar like The Shot."

"A cloak?"  he looked puzzled.

"Frank, don't ask," she said worriedly, trying to press her point.  "If anybody really strange walks in, just tell me.  Don't do anything okay?  He's… really dangerous.  He won't negotiate.   Please, please can you just watch out for him?"

"Okay.  Kate, I don't like this.  Have you gone to the police at least?"

"They can't do anything.  This man is powerful, slippery.  He gets out of tangles with government at all levels if you get my meaning."  She let the air hang, and Frank decided he didn't want to know any more.  It was enough that he could help give her a heads up, and look out for her.

She slipped in the building door and said goodnight.

"Goodnight Kate, be safe now.  See you tomorrow." 

"Bye, and thanks, Frank."  Hermione watched him walk down the street and when she could no longer see him, continued to walk three more buildings over to the Avery Inn.  It had no large sign posted where passers by would notice and was hidden within the walls of a building that looked otherwise unoccupied.

----------------

They had been talking for hours as they usually did, and most times about nothing at all.  He listened because some part of him hoped he could make up for treating her so badly, and also Pansy was the only person he could be halfway real with.  He avoided most of the rest of the housemates, because he no longer felt he had the same objectives in mind.  The leering and pranks really weren't his style anymore.  The other part of him selfishly wanted to make up with her so he'd have a shot at dating her. Only Pansy had ever looked at him like he was something special, and he wanted that back.  Draco had been a good friend to Pansy, had been an ear when she vented her frustrations about her Dad and her mother.  Listened to her drone on about where she would go if she didn't go back to live with them.  It was pretty easy to talk with her… when it was about Pansy.

"What are you going to do?"  Pansy asked quietly.

"I don't know.  I've been trying not to think about it really."  Draco turned away, wanting to talk about something else.

"It's three weeks away, if that.  Draco, I can't pretend I know what you're feeling, but my Dad didn't give me a choice either."

"Your Dad didn't give you a fucking date for your kidnapping," he said sarcastically.  "There's big party for me apparently and everyone's going to be there."

Pansy's eyes flickered painfully.  "Stop it, Draco."

"Stop what?  It's not like they are really going give me a choice.  Join or die, y'know?  Hah. Melanie was right," he spat.

"About what?"  Pansy asked nervously.  She wanted to comfort him, but she dared not reach out to him when he was like this.

"If I was a girl, it'd be no different.  He'd offer me up just the same."

 "It doesn't have to be like that," she said trying to talk some sense into him.  But he didn't want to hear it.

"Pansy, I'm not _like_ you.  You got to screw everything up by getting shagged.  I can't just cut my left arm off at the elbow and say I can't take the Mark!"

"Oh Draco!  Stop whining.   Stop giving pathetic excuses about how you don't have a choice when you do."

Draco gritted his teeth and said nothing.

Pansy sighed.  "Maybe I'm not the best person for you to be talking to you about this,"  Pansy admitted.

"Really?  And who do you suggest I talk to?  Whose wisdom should I seek out?" He snapped sarcastically.

"Maybe you could go to Professor Snape."  Draco slapped his legs hard and rolled his eyes.  "What?  He's the Head of Slytherin House, and you're not the _first_ person to go through this.  Don't you think he might have some helpful advice for you?"

_Been there, done that._  "Pansy, you don't know what you're talking about."

She was furious and balled her hands into fists.  "Draco, you should take a good hard look at yourself when you make statements like _that_.  If you had _really_ already made up your mind to take the Mark— if you _really_ believed you had no choice— we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Their argument eventually fizzled out and Draco lamely changed the topic.  They talked for hours, tiptoeing around the obvious concerns at hand.  Most of the remainder of their evening had been spent in companionable silence. 

Pansy held his hand on the way back to the dorms.  She was afraid and didn't want to lose the newfound friendship.  This trust they had confiding in each other in some ways was more intimate than the frantic meltdown they shared earlier this year. 

Of course Pansy knew that a surefire method of screwing up a good thing was talking about it openly with the man in question.  He had enough on his mind.

----------------

Snape was dreading this.

Lucius Malfoy had sent his owl last night, announcing his arrival, presumably to discuss the upcoming festivities and expectations of Draco at the next initiation.  It used to be that they would initiate young recruits as a group just after graduation, at the very least.  Now Voldemort was taking them in as young as he could, especially now that there were potential initiates among Potter's classmates.

As smug as ever, the regal figure of Lucius Malfoy strode into the foyer of Hogwarts and was quickly escorted by Snape to the dungeons.  _How dare he, after everything?  He had some fucking nerve._  _If Minerva saw, she would have transfigured him into dog meat and fed him to Fang._  The spy was careful to avoid any confrontation with the other teachers or students, which is why Snape insisted that Lucius come at five in the morning.  _Five bloody fucking a.m.!_  Snape hated to sacrifice his mornings, certainly for a man like Lucius. 

Snape went to retrieve Draco, who was not at all pleased with the early wake-up call.  He had stayed up until one talking with Pansy.  He had no idea the topic of conversation last night would be relevant to the one he was about to have.

"Get up. Your father is here to see you,"  Snape bit out tersely to the groggy, sleeping form, trying to make it appear as though Draco was not worth his time, and that he was being inconvenienced.  "Come on.  Get your clothes on and be in my office in five minutes, Mister Malfoy."  Snape spun on his heel and left, waiting for Draco at the portrait hole.

Draco tried to collect himself.  He hadn't seen his father since he'd returned from seeing Voldemort, and hadn't come back in such great condition.  Really _not_ a promising sales pitch for a new career as a Death Eater.  Draco sucked in a deep breath and put on his formal mask as he'd seen his father do a million times.

"Good morning Father."

"Ah, Draco.  Please sit with us,"  Lucius offered. 

Snape seethed as Lucius made himself comfortable in his dungeon as if it belonged to him, offering hospitality in a place Snape wished to insulate from such loathsome activities.  Snape sat stiffly and folded his arms in front of him.  He made no attempt to light a fire for warmth, and gritted his teeth when once again, Malfoy senior made himself at home.

"Incendio.  Much better.  Draco, you are nearing your seventeenth birthday and I've wondered if you've given much thought to taking the Mark as Mister Goyle has done,"  Lucius smiled at his son with a venomous curl of his lips. 

Draco was being led, and he knew it.  "Yes Father, of course."

"And what decision have you come to?"

_As if he had a choice_.  "I plan to serve of course, Father."

Lucius smiled proudly.  Snape remained silent, evaluating Draco's expression.

"But I was hoping to take the Mark on my 18th birthday, just before graduation,"  Draco said as evenly as he could, trying to make a stand. _Buy time. Something._****

"What?!"  Lucius's face turned dark and pulled his wand an inch from his cane. 

Snape looked Draco in the eye.  _The boy meant what he said.  He didn't want to take the Mark._

"I am focusing on my studies, Father.  If I am distracted by other duties, my grades will fall.  It is important to be successful.  Goyle's grades have already been slipping…"

"Goyle is a stupid, worthless, good-for-nothing buffoon without the sense of a troll!  You are _my son_, and you will do what is expected of you!" 

Lucius was towering over him, but Draco would not allow his father the advantage of height.  He stood as well and maintained the position he had, however risky.  He'd never stood up to his father before, and he had to start somewhere.  Draco stared at his father coldly as Lucius withdrew his wand.  "When you serve the Dark Lord, you must learn to obey.  Crucio."

Draco crumpled to the floor, his body reeling from the shock of the curse.  His father had hexed him before, but never with Cruciatus.

Snape hid all emotion but finally spoke up, "That's enough, Lucius.  It should be his decision.  The Dark Lord wants willing followers who obey him, not the foolish sons of faithful fathers."

Lucius spun on Snape and hissed back at him.  "What do you know of obedience, locked away in this castle?"

"We all have our duties, Lucius.  I see you made a rather spectacular example of yourself of late. Do you really think Draco is ready for _that_ life of service?"

Malfoy was furious that Snape had brought up his failure in front of his own son.  Before Lucius could react, Snape literally grabbed his wand and pocketed it. 

Lucius was livid.  The veins on his pristine forehead pulsed in rage. 

"Calm yourself,"  Snape growled.

Draco finally managed to pick himself up off the floor, still shuddering in agony.  He glared at his father with disgust and said, "I will serve."

Lucius looked at his son with revulsion.  "Yes, you will," he spat.  "Professor Snape will provide you with your portkey the morning of your birthday.  He will fill you in on the necessary details.  _Do not embarrass me_."  Each word was pronounced crisply for his understanding.  If Voldemort didn't curse him his father surely would.  _A great sales pitch.   Serve, or else._

Draco attempted to walk out of the room with some dignity, though he did it at a lean.  When he was out of sight, Snape locked and warded his dungeon door, and abruptly turned to face Lucius.

Snape needed information, so there was certain amount of subtle maneuvering required.  "He will come around Lucius." 

Lucius glared at Snape.  "Don't _ever_ touch my wand again."

"I meant it in the interests of preventing a terrible mistake.  I do believe you would have cursed the poor boy to death…"  Snape said silkily, returning his wand.

"Draco is _not_ a poor boy, he is _my son_."  Only Lucius could use such a term of endearment for his son like he were a possession instead of a person.  "He will do what is expected of him."

_Practically an adult.  But not quite_, Snape thought.  "Of course."

Lucius looked around the classroom with disgust. He hadn't really taken a good look in awhile.  "Teaching them under the old man must be challenging, having to dumb down the class topics.  You must hate it here.  Over half the students are _Mudbloods_.  Soon we will take our rightful place and Dumbledore will be gone."

"Speaking of Mudbloods, what news have you heard of Granger?"  Snape asked, his venom directed at the man standing before him.

"The filthy girl is still loose.  Finally we've given up on most of the leads in the magical community.  A Mudblood like her wouldn't go there, she's not that foolish.  We have lookouts in… _other places_."  Lucius wouldn't say anymore.  Hopefully he was just implying that he possessed more knowledge than he had, without saying much of anything to back it up.  Voldemort had done well keeping most everyone in the dark.  Snape doubted he knew much more.

Lucius couldn't leave soon enough for Snape.  He spent the day alone in the dungeons after that exchange.  Snape could have killed Lucius right on the spot for casting an Unforgivable in his dungeons.  He had cast the Cruciatus curse on Draco like it was a mere trifle. 

Goyle hadn't been particularly helpful to the cause, and on Snape's last meeting with the Dark Lord, took an opportunity to point out the immaturity and impulsiveness of the younger group, saying it was a mistake to initiate so young.  Voldemort of course had thrown that back in his face, reminding Snape of his younger days in taking the Mark just after turning eighteen.  Snape didn't point out that the Dark Lord was making his point for him.  He feared though, as Lucius had his reasons for making Draco take the Mark on his 17th birthday, that Voldemort probably had his uses for Draco as well.  Perhaps the children of Death Eaters could still remain useful tools to remind their parents of loyalty— the Dark Lord had done it before.  Draco was still non-committal about taking the Mark, not unlike Mr. Goyle had been.  But the sons always served— _always._  Lucius had grown suspicious about Snape's loyalties over the years, always making comments about his tenure under Dumbledore.  He could not afford to tip his hand to help dissuade Draco from taking the Mark, not Lucius' son. 

Draco spent the remainder of the day sleeping off the after effects of the curse and then returned to the dungeons for what he hoped would be a curseless explanation of the finer points of the ritual.  Snape's lecture was cold but relatively painless.  After that, he avoided Pansy's gaze and that of everyone else.

------------------

The Order had hit dead ends again.  Everyone was frustrated and the constant reminder that Hermione was gone was the throbbing blue glow of the pentacle on the floor of the Great Hall.  It had been growing brighter— impatient, one might say.  The spell wanted to be completed.

"Still nothing, Headmaster?" he asked.

"I'm afraid not, Severus.  The mirror is empty,"  Albus admitted regretfully, continuing his breakfast tea.

Snape drank his coffee stiffly, remembering the real cup he'd shared with her at Headquarters.  She was still gone, with no word, and Gaia hadn't stirred since the girls attempt to force additional desire on her.  He almost wished she'd stir if it might give some confirmation of Hermione being alive_.  If Gaia could feel something, would he be able to find out where she was?_  He'd studied every possible reference on blessings, goddesses and magical bonds, but to no avail.  Everyone he knew was looking for her, Death Eaters included.  On that thought he amended his previous wish to be either 'come home' or 'run like hell'.  He'd spent a large portion of his weekends thinking about her.  He was furious with her for not returning, and if he saw her, he'd probably hex her six ways from Sunday for doing this to all of them— Albus, Minerva, Remus, Potter, the Weasleys.  __

_Forget it.  She's not coming home_.  He caught himself.  _She's not coming home…to me._  __

He had to prepare himself.  He couldn't continue to think like this.  Hermione could be a breath away from becoming a Death Eater's toy if they found her first.  Given his occupation, he might have a front row seat.  How could he just stand there with his usual detachment if he cared for her so?

How did I let this happen?  After17 years without any significant relationship to speak of, how did she creep into my life so easily?

Snape tried to shake off his feelings for the young woman.  It was the infatuation of a vulnerable man, and he could not permit himself to be weakened by those feelings and become an easier target for the Dark Lord.  Of course if Hogwarts wards fell, that just could be the pivotal point in the war and the Order was just now getting an advantage with numbers.  They weren't quite ready for a war, and neither was Potter.

If he saw Hermione in the hands of the Death Eaters, he'd have to make a choice… rescue her and give up his life as a spy, or keep his cover and allow her to fend for herself as he had for nearly twenty years.  So many young women were murdered at the hands of people who called him brother, and all the while he had to stand by and watch.  After Melanie and Kendra's disappearance it was like his initiation all over again.

Try as he might, Gaia was still with him, the subtle reminder the blessing and his obligation to protect Hermione.  Sometimes he could still feel the delicate touch of her thumb on his brow.  His own desires had been building every night since the Yule Ball.  _Damn!_ _How could he stop thinking about her?_  He dropped his sugar spoon loudly onto his saucer, and pushed the coffee away.

_Forget it Severus, if she came home now, you wouldn't hex her.  Sod her object of desire— you'd kiss her until she couldn't breathe and shag her until she couldn't stand.  _He'd satisfy that bloody spell one way or another.  Snape couldn't fight these thoughts of her anymore.  He simply had to find her— he just had to.

"So are you going to ask Flitwick to the next DA meeting or should I?" Ron asked between mouthfuls of sausage.

"I could ask Luna, she can get him to do anything," Ginny said.

"Really?"  Harry didn't look convinced.  "After Colin set him on fire, I'm not so…"  Harry felt something and quickly patted down his pockets to find the source. 

All heads turned at the ringing echoed throughout the hall as Harry wrestled the phone free, catching Snape's attention from the Head Table.  _Hermione._

"Is it her?" asked Ron.  Ginny sat up at rapt attention.

Harry's face lit up and then quickly hid his expression, running from the Great Hall, Ron and Ginny in tow.   Once outside he flicked open the cell phone struggling to find a signal.  "Hello?  Hello?  Shit."  Harry checked his messages and there was nothing.  He hung up again and prayed for the phone to ring.  "Come on!"  Harry squinted in the hallway to see the meter showing signal strength to make sure he could receive.  

"Can't you make it work, Harry?"  Ron barked.

"Shhh.  I'm trying!"  Harry found a good spot and waited. All three watched the object vibrate in the palm of Harry's hand.

"Hello?  Can you hear me?" he asked.

"Hello?  Is this Harry?" The voice said.

"Yeah, who is this?"  Harry asked excitedly.  Snape was already entering the foyer from the side.

'Is it Hermione?' Ron mouthed.  Harry shook his head at his hopeful friend.

"It's Hermione's friend, Jake.  Can we talk?"  His friend's desire for secrecy hadn't made any sense since she came, and he wasn't going to stand by and do nothing because she was too stubborn to ask for help.

"Yeah.  Have you seen her?"  Harry looked straight at Snape and nodded, his eyes wide with the promise of news.

There was silence for a moment.  "Yeah, she came here.  She begged me not to ring you, but I'm really worried about her.  Could you meet me?"

"You mean, she's not there anymore?"  Harry frowned.

"No, I'm sorry she's not."  Harry shook his head conveying Jake's answer to Snape, Ginny and Ron.  Snape looked annoyed to say the least.  "Wouldn't stay.  Can you come?"

"Yeah, I can meet you.  Thanks for giving me a ring, Jake.  Anything you might tell us could help us find her.  See you in thirty minutes."  Harry as much notified Snape of their trip as he made the agreement on the phone.  He closed the cell and addressed the man before him.  "She went to see her friend.  We need to change." 

Ron and Ginny ran after Harry toward the dorms.

"Wait, Mister Weasley, Miss Weasley.  While I am sure you are concerned about your friend, I do not need any additional accompaniment today.  He is only expecting _two_ of us," Snape said tartly.  He did not need the trio, Harry was quite enough.

Ron's glared as he thought of a half a dozen spells he could cast on Snape at the moment.

"Come on Ron,"  Harry asked, pulling his angry friend along. 

Ron pushed the portrait hole open with a little too much force.  "That nasty git. You better find her, Harry."  Ron's lecture began again.  "Because Snape'll just scare him into not saying anything…" It was the same one he gave when Harry started talking with Hermione's friends and relatives at the beginning of spring term.  Harry got dressed as Ron continued his list of demands.

"Don't forget anything, don't leave anything out,"  Ron said bossily.

"I'll be back soon, and I'll tell you everything okay?"  Harry clapped Ron on the back and glanced hopefully at Ginny.

Ginny followed, and knew that shortly she would be helping Ron to decompress… again.  He went through these moments of despair when thinking of Hermione.  After three months with her gone, it was getting to where Ginny couldn't stand it anymore.  That's why Daphne had moved on.

Harry left with Snape ten minutes later, both in Muggle attire, anxious for any news on his missing friend.  Harry hoped Jake remembered every detail of their visit.  They apparated to the Ashby home, and Snape was already racking his brain with who could've missed Hermione's entrance.  The house was watched twenty four hours a day.  His teeth clenched. _Someone dropped the ball._

Jake's face was long when he answered the door to invite the pair in.  "I'm sorry I waited to ring you.  She…"  he swallowed hard.  "She was so different from anything I remembered about her.  So scared."

Snape immediately tensed.  "When did you see her?"

"Two weeks ago Saturday.  She came in the morning through the back door after my mom left for work, around say… seven."

_Shift change.  _Snape was shaking his head.  _Two weeks go, right after Lupin_.  He was discouraged already.  She was long gone.

"What did she look like, was she okay?"  Harry asked.

"No, she was _not _okay," Jake said irritated.  "You've got to tell me what's happened to her!"

"We were hoping you could tell us Jake, you were the last person to see her,"  Harry said. 

 "She came in and she was covered in dirt, I could barely recognize her.  She'd lost weight and devoured an entire sub in a few minutes.  She was starving, looking at it like she'd never seen food before!" he cried.  "I'm worried _sick_ about her!"

"What did she tell you?"  Snape asked.

"She wouldn't tell me a damned thing," he sighed and rubbed his brow and forehead.

"Jake.  You're not alone there,"  Harry admitted honestly.  "We are doing the best we can to figure out how we can help her.  Tell us about what happened when she came, anything she said, what you did, questions she asked."

Jake started from the beginning and described the whole thing, her saying she'd lived in a forest, figuring she was half-joking, and her not wanting to be alone when she showered.  "Hermione undressed right in front of me, I couldn't believe it.  She was numb.  She said she'd lost all modesty three months ago.  What was that about?  What _happened_ to her?"  Jake was angry.  He knew Harry and this teacher were keeping things from him.

Harry took a breath and tried to formulate the best answer.  Snape interrupted.  "Hermione left just before the end of term.  She was humiliated in a way, and it was very public.  I can't go into more detail than that.  Please continue, what happened next?"

"Don't give me that 'can't go into more detail' rubbish!  You've given_ no_ details in the first place.  Neither did she! Hermione didn't tell me a damned thing about why she left, and you didn't really say much the first time you came, so do you care to shed some light before I continue?"  Jake's eyes narrowed, he was giving and not getting anything back. 

Snape had already been thinking about using a Legilimens, or other methods of extracting the information he required.  _A simple obliviate afterward would do._ Then Harry used a different tactic.

Harry sighed and looked at Jake, deciding to jump out on a limb.  "Hermione may have been seeing someone at school.  It apparently was pretty serious.  Did she uh… mention anything about who she might have been interested in?"

"You are shitting me.  There is _no way_ Hermione would run away because of some bloke!  School was too important to her, you know that."  Jake was offended.  They didn't know her at all.

"Jake, I know it's far fetched. Hell, I couldn't believe it either.  But she told my girlfriend she was in love."

_In love?_  He looked at Hermione's friend with disbelief.  Jake shook his head.  "She didn't say anything.  I know she broke up with some guy at the beginning of school last year.  No big deal."

"Anyone else?"  Harry asked.

"No.  Just some sports guy— Victor, I think.  She met him a few years ago, but they're just friends now.   In her last letter she just talked about how exciting school was.  She was doing some extra classwork, I mean— you know how she gets when there's some new book or other that catches her eye."

"What happened next, Mister Ashby?"  Snape asked, trying to steer them back in topic.

 "She got into the shower but just collapsed and cried. I had to help wash her until she finally came around."  Jake's voice trembled when he described that.  He could never imagine a time when he saw her so despondent.

Snape's jaw clenched, his emotions flaring suddenly at the thought of Jake touching her.  But as his mind drew the picture of her in a frozen state, he could hardly imagine it a romantic picture for either of them. 

"We tried to wash her hair, but it was so matted and filthy.  After three tries to sort it, we had to give up. She was pretty peeved when I had to cut off all her hair.  It was knotted so badly it wasn't salvageable."

Snape felt a stab of pain thinking about that.  He couldn't imagine a Hermione Granger without a golden halo of hair to surround her.

"I gave her some of my sister's clothes and my leather jacket.  She wore black sweater hat to hide her hair.  I'm no barber."

"Did she just leave after that?"  Harry asked.

"She asked me to drive her into London, and I took her."  Jake said plainly.

"I want you to show us _where_," Snape ordered.

"I'll get my keys."  Jake said, hoping he could at least be of some help.  He took the M4 from Reading east into greater London, and Snape found himself taking the scenic tour of the Muggle side of London likely not found in the tourist guides.  It took approximately an hour when Harry couldn't contain himself any longer.

"You took her here?  This is front page crime scene!"  They drove down the dark street which looked nearly abandoned but for a few homeless, suspicious criminal activity, and parked cars. 

Snape looked out the window.  This was creepy even by Knockturn Alley standards.

"Don't snip at me.  She _asked_ to be brought here.  She _wanted_ to disappear and she didn't tell me anymore than _you_ have!"  Jake had lost his patience, he told them what they wanted and they still provided him with no answers.  "Look, you know as well as I do, that if Hermione wants to do something, she does it.  She didn't need _my_ help to figure that out, but I was glad to do what I could for her and so would you."

Harry had to give him that.  "Jake,"  Harry said.  "I'm sorry  we can't tell you as much as you'd like.  Trust me we don't know much more than you.  She _did_ hide out in a forest not far from school, and she _did _run into a friend that morning before she saw you and helped him like you said.  I haven't seen her since before Christmas."  Harry eyed Jake sadly.  _At least you got to see her, help her._  "We're going to get out and look around a bit.  Thank you for your help.  If we find her, I'll have her ring you or do it myself okay?  Promise."

Jake nodded, knowing that was as good of an answer as he was going to get.  "Thank you, Mister Ashby,"  Snape said formally. "We have friends in town, so we have people who can get us around."

They said their awkward goodbyes and Jake found himself angrily driving away again from people on a street he would never have visited under other circumstances.  He had come back to this street several times after he had dropped her off, driving around, hoping for a glimpse of her, but there was no sign of her.

"I can't believe…" Harry looked around.  "Where would she even go from here?"

"Maybe she had another portkey," Snape said cynically.

"If that was true then why would she need to have Jake drive her to London?"

_Good point._  They hadn't had a lot of luck on the 'why' front.  But perhaps now they had finally narrowed their search down from 'The Globe'.

"Let's go Mister Potter.  We shouldn't stay here.  We need to do some reassigning."  Snape took him into an empty alley and disapparated.

Half the Order was redeployed looking for her in London.  Snape had some confirmation that she was alive, or at least the last place she had been seen alive.  Tonks had taken it upon herself to check every hotel in London, ruling out the ones unaffordable to most.  Hermione did not have an unlimited supply of funds.  However most cheap hotels didn't even have listings, one just happened upon them.  The search was taking forever, but at least the trail was lukewarm.

That knowledge wasn't alleviating any stress for Professor Snape who was getting worried about another student of his, Draco Malfoy.  It was a little less than a week until his birthday and looked as though he was actually going to go through with it.  Crucio left little room for a courageous streak now, but he'd hoped that seeing him with Miss Parkinson, she might have talked some sense into him.  Draco was still an unknown quantity, and like many a young foolish student he'd seen, he couldn't divulge information about his loyalties for such a short term goal.  A lot of people said what was expected of them when opportunities arose, it didn't mean it was the truth. He could go either way.

--------------

"Draco, I don't know what to say," Pansy clipped out bitterly.

"What?"  Draco looked innocently at the girl, annoyed at this interruption of his studying.

"What do you mean 'what'?  You've been ignoring me for weeks!"  Pansy put her hands on her hips, nostrils flaring.

Draco rolled his eyes.  He didn't need this.  He had enough on his mind.

"_Fine_.  But let me tell you one thing Draco."  She slid into the seat beside him and leaned in closely, with an intimidating scowl.  "Right now, you own you.  But if you take Mark, you won't _ever_ be your own person anymore.  And don't ever expect me to talk to you again.  I can't even _believe _you'd consider it after what happened," she choked out.  "Don't you dare pretend this is just some fucked up obligation.  This is your choice and _no one_ is making you do it."  Pansy stormed out of the room and left him to his precious thoughts.

Bitterness and resentment filled Pansy as she flew off to the Room of Requirement. She charmed her clasp to see if Ginny could join her, because she needed to vent.  _How could he?_   She thought they were doing so well, and then he'd met with his Dad and they hadn't talked since.  It was like the last three months hadn't even happened.  She wanted to go to Dumbledore, but what could he do?  She bet he saw this all the time.  _He couldn't stop Goyle from joining, why should Draco be any different?_ 

By the time Ginny arrived Pansy was in tears, aggravated that once more a Slytherin father got the best of one of their own.  _After everything that happened at the Ball, and all that was sacrificed… After Draco knew what his father had done, how could he take the Mark?_  She hung out with Ginny and leaned on her shoulder for a while.  Ginny was a good friend, and didn't criticize her for her interest in Draco. 

Pansy really hoped Draco would turn his back on that life, but also a bit selfishly wanted someone to be an outcast with her.  She was defying her parents too, and still hadn't figured out where she was going to stay after the school year was out.  At this rate, come summer, she just may have to pull a Hermione.  Millicent was already plotting the same thing as well, knowing her parents wouldn't go along with her new plan, and she was dating Longbottom to boot.  Pansy was glad for Millie, at least she could be happy. 

But it looked like Draco was lost.

---------------

Hermione had her routine down.  She slept late and as soon as she had the tips, paid a month's rent so she could save more and leave the dump.  Bartending was a little wild, and she liked the pace and anonymity that bartending offered her.  She painted her hair black and wore mostly dark clothes and jeans.  Snape would be proud.

She couldn't help it.  The more she tried not to think of him, the more he infiltrated her thoughts, leaving her wanting morning and night.  The night of the Yule Ball had nothing on what she was feeling now.  Instead of being preoccupied with desire, she felt overwhelmed with bitterness of not being wanted.  Keeping busy at the bar helped to distract her but only just. 

Roxy had certainly noticed and called her on it.  "Who are ya thinking about, hunh?"

"What."  Hermione said blankly.

"You.  Staring off into space with a silly smile on your face like you've discovered the meaning of the universe."  Roxy said rolling her eyes.  "Come on girl, dish."

Hermione couldn't help but crack a smile.  She was caught.

Roxy squealed.  "Aaahhh!  It is somebody.  A _guy_ somebody…"  Roxy tried to read her expression and Danny watched them both intently.  He'd had his eye on Kate for awhile, wanting to ask her out, but she hadn't shown the slightest interest in him.

"I can't talk about it,"  Hermione said her facial expression changing abruptly.  _Stop torturing yourself like some lovesick schoolgirl.  It'll never happen._

Roxy lost her happy place when she saw Kate's sadness creep over her again.

"I'm sorry.  Didn't mean to bring it up."

"No it's not you," Hermione apologized.  "I don't mean to be such a downer."

"Come on let's do something tonight!  After work, let's go back to my place and cook and watch movies.  Whadaya say?" Roxy beamed.

Danny smiled.  "I'm in, come on Kate.  It'll be fun."

_How could she refuse?_  After a busy night, Danny, Hermione and Gabe piled into Roxy's car.  Hermione felt a little vulnerable, but who would find her?  Sure enough, she made it safely to the flat, modest, but cozy.  Roxy had a chair in leopard print and her couch was an outrageous shade of orange, reminded her of Crookshanks.  _She loved it._ 

They made popcorn and ate Chinese takeout instead of cooking.  Hermione managed to eat the stir-fry without the nostalgia that often accompanied it.  She loved food, eating whatever she could get her hands on since her stint as a cavewoman.  She had filled out her wardrobe by packing on at least seven pounds after her return to mainstream society.  _Hah, this was mainstream_. 

They watched some strange French film with subtitles and 'A Fish Called Wanda'.  After that Roxy was pretty beat and Gabe left to get ready for an early class.  Roxy popped in Star Wars, and promptly fell asleep on the couch.

"I feel like I don't know anything about you,"  Danny said.

"Well that's not fair.  I don't know much about you either.  For example, you've been working at the club for five years right?"  He nodded.  "And don't get me wrong, but that's just not where I picture you."

"Really? And where do you picture me?" he asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.

"Teaching, or in a university somewhere getting an advanced degree," Hermione said matter-of-factly.  Danny shook his head.  "I think I'm hitting a little close to the mark.  You read Shakespeare _for fun_.  Don't lie."  Danny looked away.  "I've seen you before work.  Who does that?  I mean really, Danny.  What's your background?"  Hermione pestered.

"I studied literature at Oxford," he confessed.

"Wow.  What happened?"  She leaned forward interested.

"I dropped out.  Developed a partying habit that led to drinking and I quit.  Flunked out, screwed up, dried out."

"And now you work in a bar."

"Yeah.  Kind of weird, huh?  You must think I'm crazy."  Danny groaned, he hadn't mentioned this to hardly anyone.  He'd long since burned his bridges.

"Not at all."  Hermione said knowingly, chewing her lip.

"Really?  What's your story then?  You're no dunderhead either.  And don't give me that look.  I told.  Now you tell."

She sighed, and decided carefully what she wanted to divulge.  "I left school after a 'thing'.  It's no longer cool for me to stay there and now it looks like I'll never finish."

"Where'd you go?"  Danny probed.

"It's far from here."

_Okay, back to cryptic Kate._  "What did you study?"

"Chemistry."

"Whoa." 

Hermione smiled.  _Close enough._  Their discussion lasted hours, and they talked mostly about literature.  Hermione felt like herself being able to have a sophisticated conversation with someone.  Then the lonely pains hit her again.  She missed Severus.

"You left someone behind, didn't you?"  Danny read her, seeing her distant look.  That happened to her a lot.

"Is it that obvious?" she sighed.

"Yes."  He wanted to see if she wanted to talk about it more, but she got up.

"I need to go home.  Thanks for the talk.  I enjoyed it."  Hermione was abrupt, more than she wanted, but she was feeling insecure.

"Sorry it had to end so soon," he said fondly.  "Sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"It hurts too much, I'm sorry Danny.  See you later.  Tell Roxy good ni… morning or whatever."  _Sorry, it had to end so soon.  _So many apologies, too many 'sorrys' had been said to Severus and not enough truth. Every day she wanted to use the locket to return to him instead of hailing a cab.  If she went back now she knew she'd tear the place apart until she reached him and when it was over, she'd be left empty and unfulfilled.  What she really wanted was for him to love her, care for her in some way.  A sexual encounter to bring up the wards wouldn't make that so.

Hermione left the flat quickly and climbed into a taxi outside.  She couldn't breathe.  She couldn't move forward.  She didn't know what to do, and she couldn't keep going like this.  She was dying to be back in her own bed, with the annoyingly typical red and gold drapes, a full class schedule and a good dose of normal.  She missed her friends.  Harry's cell phone number was burning a hole in her pocket, but she refrained from calling.

When she fell into bed it was 10:30am, and her thoughts again were dominated by the tall, dark, figure of Severus Snape.  She was exhausted, but wired, and disliked how completely controlled she felt by the building desire.  Sometimes she just wanted to reach out and grab the nearest person and unload some of this sexual tension.  Once again her hands found a place he'd never touched, and ears heard endearments never uttered.  She screamed out her completion three times before falling into sleep.  Masturbating no longer relieved anything, and left her feeling more unfulfilled for considering him.  She grew more frustrated than ever, every time she acknowledged her fantasies were all imagined.

She dressed up for the evening slowly, wanting to feel a little sexier than usual.  Tired of fading, she skipped the paint job and pulled her hair back in a bun, leaving stray wisps down and tucked behind her ears.  She wore lace up boots, a sleeveless black tee, and slim skirt (a hand me down from Roxy, fashion goddess).  Danny barely recognized her.

"Wow," he let out a low whistle.  "What's this all for?"

"That's what I was going to ask," Hermione said moving to the new piano.  It wasn't new, but it was a new addition to the bar.  "What's this?  And the platform too."

Nick piped up from the back.  "Business has been great," he said talking through his cigarette.  "I'm going to turn this place into a piano bar.  We're going to be building another bar over there," he pointed to the other end of the room. "I'll hire three or four more bartenders by the end of the month.  Pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah Nick, but what about the club music?  People come here to get their groove on,"  Roxy gyrated her hips.

"Relax.  This place will still be rocking from Thursday through Saturday, but the rest of the nights will be requests and live music."

"I'm gonna have to fucking see this,"  Mick laughed.

"Ha, ha.  Shut it, Mick,"  Nick muttered. 

Hermione slid her hands over the surface of the piano and made herself comfortable at the keys. 

"Hey, you play,"  Danny observed walking by.  "That's a little sad don't you think?  What is it?"

Hermione couldn't speak for a moment or find the words to accompany the song.

"Everytime We Say Goodbye," she croaked.  She changed the tune and the melody changed to something a bit sultrier.

_She's sad again_, thought Danny.  _She thinks about him all the time._

"Hey now, that's good,"  Roxy said, dancing in place suggestively.  "What's this called?"

Hermione smirked.  "Ecstasy, by George Fenton." 

Roxy's eyes widened, "I _like_ it."  She did a salsa.

"You want a new job?" Nick asked.

"Not really, but I wouldn't mind coming in early just to play this though.  Needs a little tuning and some polish, but it's a beautiful piano."  Hermione played a few more tunes and Roxy left to stock her side of the bar.

"You really need to get out of here Kate, you don't belong here," Danny said affectionately.  _You need to figure this out.  It's eating you alive._

Hermione just looked at him as she played out the blues.  "Neither do you."  _Cry me a river, I cried a river, over you._

"Don't do it, Kate. Don't stay here five years."

_Don't plan on it_.  But she had no plan.  "I tell you what, if I leave this place, you go back to school.  Deal?"

"I can't do that," he resigned.  _It was the way things were._

"Sure you can.  I can't, but you can.  You're sober now, and you can get references.  You're really smart.  C'mon Danny."  Her chords changed.  She played a funky riff, making fun of him, teasing him.

"Alright, _if_ you leave."  Danny winked at her.  _She wouldn't leave._

"I'm going to hold you to that." And she played 'Piano Man.'

"Heeey!"  Frank called out.  "What's this?"  Danny filled him in, and Hermione finally wrenched herself away from the keys to stock her station.  It was 4:30 and the bar would open pretty soon.

-----------

It was the afternoon of April 20th, and he was finally seventeen.  Draco stood at the edge of the forest, the portkey of a silver serpent in hand.  His birthday was pretty empty so far.  Pansy had avoided him after her little lecture, and he'd skipped classes today.  He passed his apparation test this morning, but he didn't really give a damn. 

He was starting to get jittery, the nerves of the upcoming ceremony getting to him.  So many unknowns, but they were all bad.  He didn't want to wind up like his father, and up to now really hadn't done much for himself.  Everything was done to avoid punishment or out of a sense of obligation, nothing he really wanted to do for himself.  His father wanted him to be on the Quidditch team.  He enjoyed flying sure, but he hated doing it because his father expected it of him.  His parents had unimaginable wealth, yet Draco didn't feel like he had much that was worth anything.

_Right now you own you.  But if you take Mark, you won't ever be your own person anymore_. 

He looked at his portkey.  Right now, he had Pansy.  If he stuck his neck out, he might… maybe… possibly could be free.

_This is your choice and no one is making you do it._

Draco found his nerve, dropped the metal snake and his black cloak and disapparated.

He had aimed for London, but trying to apparate when angry doesn't do so well for navigation.  Draco intended to be near Kensington, and wound up Merlin knows where.

Draco Malfoy was lost in London.  He wasn't in a nice part of town at all it seemed, at least from what Draco was used to.  _After all, his father could afford 'the best'_.  With hardly any Muggle money at all, Draco could afford very little.  So, he hailed the first cab and asked to be taken to a popular club or pub.

One should never, ever, give a cab driver that much leeway.

He drove him around the long way.  "I'll take you to a good club mon," the taxi driver said with a heavy accent.  Reggae boomed from the front of the car.  Draco caught on, and saw the meter.  There was no way he had that much money to pay him.

"Hey stop the car,  I want out."  Draco spat out.  Thirty minutes had passed.

"Alright mon, you don't have to be pushy," he laughed.  "You're here anyway.  S'up ahead on you left, mon.  Good club, very popular," he cackled.  This man belonged in Knockturn Alley.

"Thanks."  And Draco ran without paying. 

The driver had not expected that from such a well dressed bloke and yelled down the street, "You stiffed me you little punk! No cabbie will pick your arse up here, I'll tell you that!"

Draco walked up the street, looking for signs of wizarding life a Floo, or whatever.  He had no desire to apparate anywhere soon and besides which, he was now officially late.  Somewhere there was a circle of Death Eaters with Voldemort at the helm and his father was cursing his name.  If he tried to apparate, there would be repercussions.  His father had amazing connections at the Ministry.

A crowd was gathering up ahead at a bar, and it seemed safer where the people were, rather than where they weren't.  He weaseled his way to the front of the line, hoping to figure out something, at least where he was.

Call it fate, call it luck, karma— or sheer chance, but as soon as five o'clock rolled around, Draco Malfoy walked into The Shot.  And Frank sized him up quick.  _White hair, smug attitude, and he looked… weird._

"Excuse me, Mick."  Frank approached the bar and leaned over the side where Hermione was still stocking.  When she looked up and saw Frank's eyes, she knew something was very wrong.

"Stay down and look in the mirror," he whispered. 

Hermione turned around, still in her crouched position and saw… _Humph.  You gotta be kidding me.  What are the odds? _ She looked back up at Frank. "He's harmless."

"That's a relief,"  Frank sighed, glad to be wrong.  But he wasn't far off the mark. 

Draco was too quick and approached the bar, curious about the bouncer's position.  "Sir, I was hoping you might tell me where… Hermione!  Bloody hell!"

Hermione couldn't duck out now.  She stood and met Draco's gaze. "Hey.  Frank, could you give us a minute?"

"Sure."  _Kate. Hermione._   He left but watched closely.

Hermione maintained eye contact, and had one thing on her mind.  Draco sat on a stool and had his arms on the bar like the customers did.  Hermione slapped her hand on top of his left arm and quickly retrieved his wand where she knew it was hidden.  No one saw a thing, and Draco was fuming.  _How dare she?_  "You never touch my…"

"Be quiet," she hissed.  "This is a Muggle bar, and I can't afford for you to cast anything when I've tried so carefully to hide my whereabouts.  What the hell are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing!  Shit, you're working… in a bar?"  Draco looked around with distaste.

"I asked you first," Hermione said with gritted teeth.  "_What_ are you doing here?"  _Some fucking coincidence._

He groaned. "I got lost," he mumbled.

"What was that?"  Hermione asked.

"I got lost, okay?  I got my license today and I apparated here, and I didn't show up where I wanted to be.  Then some taxi guy drove me around in circles and I came here."

It was so stupid, it could just be the truth.  Draco looked genuinely embarrassed and Hermione laughed right in his face.

Danny loved it.  He hadn't seen Hermione smile this big ever.  He poured him a drink.  "This one's on the house.  Keep that up,"  he pointed at her.  "Kate needs a good laugh."  Danny let them be.

"Kate?" he mouthed.

She glared.  "What are you doing here, Malfoy?"

"I told you…"

"Wait.  You said you got your license today.  You're 17 today."  Hermione was suddenly really glad she took his wand.

"Great.  Somebody should give you a prize."  He drank the shot of vodka and choked.

"Are you here of some kind of initiation thing?" she asked coldly.

"No," he laughed sarcastically.  "I'm here because I _ditched_ some initiation thing." 

"Oh my God, you skipped out?"

"Yup." 

The air just hung.  "I don't believe you," she said.  "What?  Have some big epiphany or something?"

He scowled.  "Pansy chewed me out for considering it.  She kept saying I had a choice when I didn't.  She said if I took the Mark then they would own me."

Hermione absorbed what he was saying.  "She's right you know."  Snape insisted that Goyle didn't have a choice.  He really believed it— it was so indoctrinated.

"I can't believe you don't have any nasty comments to say," he said.

"Why would I?"  Hermione asked, pouring two shots for the woman beside him.

"Because my father's a Death Eater, that's why.  Because he tried to break the school wards… because you've always hated me."

"Oh give it a rest Draco, just because I dished out what you gave me doesn't mean I _hated_ you.  And you are _not_ your father.  I _am_ surprised you didn't take the Mark.  You're probably one of the first to refuse."  Draco glared at her.  "Well, maybe not, but you're actually here, alive."

"What are _you_ doing here, Hermione?"  he asked.

"Shh, keep your voice down.  It's Kate," she hissed.

"Whatever.  People are worried sick about you.  Pansy's freaking out…"

"So you made up?"  Hermione smiled.

"I guess you could call it that."  Draco admitted.  "Though she's pretty upset with me now."

"Hey, Kate.  It's not busy yet, why don't you go in the back and catch up?  You can come back when it's busy,"  Danny offered.  _She was happy, talking.  It was a good sign._

"C'mon."  Hermione ushered Draco into the back and got a brief ten minute synopsis of the year.  She had missed a lot, and Malfoy was bringing emotions to the fore she had tried hard to suppress.

"Weasley has been in fits with you gone, so Daphne dumped him."  

Hermione felt the guilt again.  _All her fault._  She was screwing everything up.

"Millicent and Neville are still together, and Pansy and I still have stuff to work out.  Hermione, how could you leave in the first place?  Why didn't you come back with the others?"

She wasn't about to fill him in.  She shook her head and looked away.

"I have to leave now," Hermione said flatly.

"What do you mean?  Can't you come back with me?"  Draco asked.

"You're joking right?  I can't go back with you.  Draco you don't understand, I just can't." 

"Dumbledore says he'll protect you, Pansy said."  Draco's tone was serious.

"This is so surreal. Draco Malfoy is sitting in front of telling me Dumbledore will protect me," she muttered to herself.  "Draco, if I really believed that he could help me, I would have never left.  I can't go back."

"Um, Hermione?" Draco asked.

"Yeah?"

"I have no way to get back to Hogwarts."

"What's the big deal?  You can apparate," she said shrugging her shoulders.

"No way.  First of all, _you_ have my wand.  Second of all, if I cast anything you told me people would come for you.  And I know that by now, if I casted a whole squad of Death Eaters would come for me."

"How did you get here?'

"A cab."

"You took a cab?" She scoffed.  "So take a cab to Diagon Alley."

"I don't have any money."  He didn't even know where it was in Muggle London, he always Flooed there.

Hermione howled.  Draco Malfoy had no money.

He rolled his eyes.  "Can you help me?"

She laughed harder.  The ferret was asking for her help.  "Stay here.  I can get Gabe or Danny to take you outside the Leaky Cauldron and you can Floo to Hogwarts or Hogsmeade from there.  You know, you could take the Knight Bus."

"I'd never make it,"  Draco sighed.  "Dad's too connected.  He'd know immediately."  He'd have to settle for the Muggle way. 

"Yo!  Kate, we need help out here!"  Gabe called out.

Hermione felt for him, he was doing the right thing and was noticeably worried about his decision.  She wanted to leave now, but she couldn't have him tagging along with her, and it was Friday night.  She wasn't going to leave the other bartenders in a lurch.  "Stay at the bar.  Come on."

Draco watched as Hermione worked like a pro, pouring literally hundreds of drinks every half hour.  She lifted heavy cases of liquor and had the biceps to show for it.  He saw how easily she slipped into the life.  There wasn't a book in sight, yet she seemed comfortable.  Draco wondered if he could switch gears.

"So are you the mystery guy?" Danny leaned over the bar and asked him.

"What do you mean?"  Draco said with a confused expression.

"Kate's been happier talking with you than she has been here with us for weeks.  I was hoping _you_ would have something to do with that,"  Danny suggested.

"Don't be ridiculous.  She and I really aren't… that close.  Haven't always gotten along."  _That was an understatement._

"Could've fooled me,"  Danny said.

Draco was switching gears already.

--------------

Somewhere at one of several Malfoy estates, Lucius was getting extremely angry.  His face was taut in a frightening manner.  _Draco had embarrassed him._

The Death Eaters had waited before for initiates, for various reasons.  Over anxious initiates who foolishly thought they knew what was coming would sometimes bring a 'present' for the Dark Lord, having something to entertain the rest of the Death Eaters while Voldemort cursed the person and sent them out again on a mission of his own choosing.  Draco didn't fall into that category.  Others got intoxicated before they came, but that was during the time when Death Eaters were inducted as a group.  Draco also did not fall into that category.

"What do you have to say for yourself, my servant?"  hissed Voldemort to Malfoy, wand out.

Lucius was surrounded by the burning stares of twenty or so Death Eaters.  He loathed being put on the spot in this way.

"I will punish my son, my Lord.  I am appalled by his disrespect." Lucius bit out and meant it.

"Crucio!  It is _you_ have disrespected _me_, Lucius— by attempting to bring your son before me without adequately preparing him!"

"My Lord…"

"Silence!"  Voldemort picked up his chin to look him in the eyes.  "He was not ready and you would bring him here out of some foolish pride.  Goyle was not ready." 

Gregory kept his mouth shut, feeling a lump in his throat at his mention.  One of the times he was glad for the mask.  _Where was Draco?_  Gregory couldn't believe he hadn't shown up yet.  Now he prayed Draco would never come.  If he did, it wouldn't be pretty.

"I'm sorry my Lord,"  Lucius muttered, but it was too late for recovery.  Voldemort cursed him again and after several minutes the blond lump regained composure.

"Go find _your son_,"  he hissed.  "And secure his promise to serve _next _year."

Snape watched the display.  He hadn't said a single word to Voldemort, yet he had known.  He was an excellent judge of character.  The Death Eaters were dismissed, all eager to get out of Lucius' wake.  Snape nearly danced a jig all the way back to Hogwarts.

Gregory Goyle left last, still shocked at the absence of Draco.  He was jealous in a way, that Draco had ditched the Mark.  Voldemort was right— he wasn't ready.  _Who the hell could be? _ Gregory had seen his own father do things at the revels he never thought someone capable.  Goyle could barely stomach it.  He had seen too much, and now he couldn't go back.

-------------

Draco was in a foreign land.  He had been hit on by no less than seven women and one man, most of them inebriated.  Hermione was amused.  The music was different and not half bad, once he got used to the deafening volume.  The place was so crowded, Hermione was sure they were violating some fire code or other regulation about exceeding capacity.

Hermione left to gather shots around midnight, making the run with Gabe.  It was hot in the stuffy club, and she felt the beat of the music hum through the bodies of gyrating couples as she squeezed between them.  The lights flashed hypnotically in the middle of the floor, something she was normally spared behind the bar.  She began to flush, a bit disoriented from the touches and brushes from numerous people about her.  Most were inadvertent, because there was no room for movement, and some were deliberate attempts to fondle her.  She both hated and loved it.  It unnerved her that she was lured so easily into that almost sexual rhythm, the damned spell didn't help her in this.  She waded back through the human sandwiches to the bar and people followed her like the Pied Piper.  The clubbers could barely move to dance, but they always managed to order more drinks from the bar.

As time passed she shook off those unwanted feelings as she busied herself with the orders coming as fast as she could fill them.  Time passed quickly at the bar, and before she knew it, it was a little after one.

Hermione found it was useless to worry about pouring faster than she was able— money mistakes got made that way.  The patrons would still be there, and the liquor would still be here.  Ducking behind the bar for a second glass check, she spied a Coke.  She looked up at Draco and decided to give him a taste.  They only served shots, but she was about to make an exception.

"What's this?!" he shouted.

She couldn't hear him and didn't try to reply.  Looking at the can, he wondered.  He sipped and then nearly spat it out for the carbonation.  Hermione laughed out loud, though her amusement couldn't be heard.  "Not a butterbeer is it?"  She scribbled out on a spare napkin.  He laughed and she stole a sip from his drink.

Draco finally caved and tried it again. Horribly sweet, but not too bad.  He felt his teeth squeak when he ground them against each other.  Draco watched as Hermione and Danny poured two lines of shots down the entire length of bar— competing to see who finished fastest.  As quick as you please, the crowd rushed up to grab the free round of drinks.  Everyone watched for that.  It happened only once a weekend.  Danny won again, no surprise there, though Hermione was still trying to beat him.

A popular tune rang out through the club and everyone threw up their hands, including the bartenders.  Roxy paired with Gabe, and Danny with Hermione dancing enthusiastically to the music behind the bar between pouring rounds of drinks. The club was really hopping now, the drink orders subsiding slightly as the crowd became preoccupied with dancing.

A few songs later, it was 2:00 a.m. and the bar was thinning, but just a little.

And Frank was furiously trying to get her attention.

-----------

Lucius was going to kill his son.  _Little fucking insolent prick._  Wizarding parents, especially servants of the Dark Lord, knew how to protect their own.  Of course, protection wasn't quite what Lucius had in mind.  Long ago he had tattooed Draco with a method of tracking him.  They nearly had the same blood, or Draco had half of his.  They were tethered through their genes.  Draco had gotten into too much mischief not to be leashed.   Wizarding LoJack.

Lucius was stunned when he apparated to a squalid and disgustingly common part of west London.  _Draco had traded the Mark for a Muggle bar_.   He vanished his cloak, but was still dressed to the hilt for his son's debut. He was appalled at the crowd and didn't want to taint himself in this community, but one way or another he was going to get Draco.  The soles of his feet still ached from the curses,  but Lucius was about to share a bit of that discomfort.  _Spread the joy._

"I'm sorry, you're going to have to wait until someone leaves, sir.  We're at capacity,"  Frank said.

"Let me in _now."  _Lucius asked, holding his cane ominously.

Frank's eyes narrowed.  "No sir.  I'm afraid I can't do that."  He stood tall and straightened to his full height, blocking the view of the inside of the club.  "You will have to be patient.  The club is winding down.  Someone will leave shortly, and then you can enter."

Lucius had never been turned away, but he gritted his teeth. 

Frank grabbed Mick and asked him to watch the door.  "Don't let that man in."   Right now, he needed to find Hermione fast.

The Scotsman was trying to be seen over the noisy, dancing crowd.   Wading toward the bar, he waved his hands.  Hermione caught his uneasy expression and glanced at the door, catching the shine of platinum hair belonging to only one man.

_Oh shit_.  She looked at Danny and he saw Frank too.  She grabbed Draco by the collar and yanked him physically over the bar, her heart hammering in her chest.

"What was that for?" he yelled, rubbing his elbows.

Hermione's eyes bore into his.  "Your father," she mouthed.

_ I'm dead, _Draco thought_.  _They scrambled on hands and knees to the swinging door behind the bar, and Danny made like he was going back to get liquor.  They slipped through the door and Hermione grabbed her book bag, the one she packed for emergencies.  She put a change of clothes and anything associated with magic in it every morning, just in case her hotel room got burglarized, but also for cases just like these.  She had left most of her belongings back in the cave and didn't want a repeat if she had to leave in a hurry again.

"Kate, what's going on?"  Danny asked.

"I'm in real trouble, bar's about to close soon anyway. D'you think you can take my friend Derek here into London right now?"  Hermione's words came fast, spit out all in a rush as she found her wand and stashed it quickly in her skirt pocket.  Danny didn't have a chance to respond.  "He's stuck here, no way back…"

"Sure, Kate,"  Danny said edgily.  "Can I drop _you _anywhere?"  Danny tried to grasp her arm and make eye contact with her.  _Come on, Kate._

"He.. Kate.  You're coming _with_ me aren't you?" Draco asked.

"Stop asking, I told you I _can't,_" she groaned and kept darting her eyes to the swinging door. 

"You're being stupid, you know that."

"Go home."  Hermione rolled her eyes at Draco, stifling any argument.  "Danny, drive and drive fast.  Take him east of Hyde Park, to Charing Cross Road.  Don't stop until you get there and stoplights are optional.  D'you know it?"

"Yeah.  I know it, it's near a record shop I go to."  Hermione was about to run out the back door.  "Kate, wait.  Will I ever see you again?  Will you let me know how you are?"  Danny's urgent look reminded her of the people she'd left behind.

"If things work out, maybe.  Remember your promise." Danny hardly thought she'd hold him to that considering the circumstances in which she was leaving.  Hermione fished through her tips and gave about thirty quid to Draco.  She spied Draco's father through the circular window in the swinging door.  "Move!"  All three ran out the back door, and she remembered at the last minute to slip him his wand. Hermione gave Draco a firm look to wish him good luck.  She had to run.  She knew he'd go and blab everything to Dumbledore, but she couldn't think about that right now.  She had to get the hell out of here.

Frank caught her out back.  He was already on his bike with the motor running.  "Hop on, Kate." 

Hitching up her skirt and regretting her decision to wear one, she swung her leg over the side.  Speeding down the street, The Shot passed out of sight, leaving behind the bar and her life as Kate Evans.

The bar was congested with people, the air was thick with smoke, sweat and booze, without a decent drop of brandy in the place.  He couldn't see Draco anywhere and asked around.  Finally someone agreed to shout with him about it, and admitted they saw someone with whitish hair sitting at the bar for half the night.  Ten minutes after 'Derek' and Danny had fled, Roxy was all too happy to tell the bastard following Kate that the guy had left.

Lucius stormed off and apparated from the alleyway.  When he reappeared he landed in a busy intersection near Kensington, startling several people and a few cars with the loud cracking noise which preceded him.  Swerving at the last moment, a BMW narrowly avoided hitting the man dressed all in black. 

A beat up Ford was speeding out of sight, and Lucius was losing his patience.  His son was probably in motion, and he couldn't apparate successfully if Draco was mobile.

It took maybe thirty minutes for Draco to get out of the speeding nightmare that was Danny's car.  "Thanks, Danny."  Draco dashed into the Leaky Cauldron, throwing powder to activate the Floo without asking.  "Albus Dumbledore's office, Hogwarts!"

-----------__

Snape was there in the Headmaster's office, relaying the amusing events of the evening.  Lucius had got his, and Draco had stood everyone up.  They were having a drink and a good laugh.

Then his fireplace lit up and spit a sooty Draco out on the floor.

"Maybe there's hope for young Malfoy yet, Severus."  Dumbledore stood and polished the dust off his glasses.  "Mister Malfoy, I am so glad to see you are alright." 

Draco was huffing and out of breath, brushing himself off.  "I saw Hermione."

-----------

**Author's Notes:**

I have to give a huge amount of thanks to all of you for keeping me on my toes. I am so grateful for all of your feedback and comments about the plot and characterizations.

I have to give a special round of thanks to three people who offered their writing talents in proofreading and editing this chapter. Applause, cheering!!! Thanks to Shabopo, Keket Amunet, and MA!  They all spent a lot of time making sure this was enjoyable and fully edited reading! Salut!

I've tried to use more British slang and hope it won't sound out of place.  Hermione's got to think fast, and everything is about to speed up horrifically after three weeks of down time. 

Okay, so… I totally screwed up by saying that Hermione is from Manchester.  That is too friggin' far from London for Jake to drive her there, certainly not on the M55.  How did I come up with that, it's like… hours and hours away!  So, I'm reposting the last chapter to reflect that she is from Reading, England.  That's how it is now possible for Harry and Snape to get to the place Jake dropped her off in about an hour.  Whew.

BTW, "Call it luck, call it fate, call it karma… I believe we were put on this earth for a reason.  We should go into business for ourselves…"  Bill Murray said this in Ghostbusters in his role as Dr. Venkman. 

I alphabetized, if it makes it easier!  So close to the end now y'all!

Alarase-  That has been pointed out frequently, and yes, regretfully, it is that easy.  At first I thought I would make it so that killing the object would have to be deliberate, but I don't think so.  Hermione is being stubborn for personal reasons, in addition to thinking Snape would never have her.  Most wouldn't picture them together, and instead assume she picked a student.  Snape may very well be inadvertently killed in the line of his duties as a spy (though he has his Goddess to protect him—of course that might out him… ugh.)  in response to your Chap 20:  Sorry it wasn't fire breathing exciting, and it was a transition.  (I mean she just escaped the forest… give the girl a break!)  I never felt Dumbledore was psychic, though perceptive.  Dumbledore is really observing Snape's feelings for the girl, rather than making inferences about her feelings.  Thank you for your insightful notes and suggestions.  I'm saving some of Hermione's inner thoughts for the next two chapters.  I did try to add some more about why she hasn't returned in this chapter.  There is one thing that would make sleeping with Snape unbearable for Hermione… hah! Cliffhanger.   Thank you very much for reviewing.

Amanda-  Thank you!  And thanks for reading.  Chapter 22 will soon come.  Promise to update soon.

Anna York-  Thank you, I agree.  Crying for many is a form of release of tension.  Hopefully for out couple to be that version of weeping will happen really soon. : )

Antagonist Len-  Dear Helen-  Thank you for reading, and I'm flattered for your description of your click-a-thon (I do the same thing), and I also do victory dances too… especially for _Somewhere I Have Never Traveled_, awesome!  Sorry about the water, but don't turn stalker yet (wink) I promise a new chapter soon.  I make it a personal policy not to check for updates before I go to the bus, because I invariably read too long, miss my bus and have to drive.  Of course, I break my own rule all the time… 

Althea Grey-  Gaia ain't too happy when our lady's in danger, or if Snape's doing anything to ignore that.  Therefore she stirred a bit, but it was Snape who leapt out with his wand, not her.  Nah,  Molly doesn't know.  Most people, especially students still think of Snape as icky or untrustworthy… at least unpleasant and unapproachable.  Thank for your review, I hope I can keep up the suspense! 

Artemis05-  I'm not telling, so there. crosses arms defiantly Wink!  Thanks for reviewing!  I'm glad to like the Drakester.  I like his character.

Ash-  Woo hoo!  Thanks, more soon. : o)

azulkan2-  I agree.  Isolation sucks.  Glad you like the story.  We're heading to the finish line.  I can see it.  It's halfway written… Thanks for reviewing!

BadBugz-  Nope.  He didn't call her, but she could have come.  She stayed at bay because he finally intervened.  Eeek, Hermione was getting very impulsive.  I think she would have cut herself just to make her feel pain other than what she was feeling at that moment.  If she thought there was any chance of Snape caring for her she wouldn't be in so much pain.  Thanks for your review!

Beky- Oooh taunting you with the cliffie!  Glad you liked the chapter.  Stay tuned!

B.M.- Thank you.  I'm behind on _God of the Lost_ myself and have to finish.  Too busy writing.  But now I've posted!  Now I can read.  Thank you so much for spending your day reading.  I'm flattered you spent the time, and thank you for reviewing.  I promise more chapters soon!

BlackMajenta-   Woo hoo thank you!  I love Pansy.  And eww!  I would never end the story on a kiss cue music bleack!  Not to say that I haven't read a good fic or two where that has happened, disclaimer, but that it just would nevah be me writing that.  I will say it will take at least two chapters and a epilogue to wrap this up.  Stay tuned, I promise not to disappoint, and if I stiff you, you can hex me by e-mail. : )  No simple kiss, I swear.

Celtic Words- Thank you for your review, and I'm sure Hermione hollers in this chapter when she's alone between shifts at the bar.  The goodness is coming soon, I promise.  Right after Hermione's race through London.

Chsqrlgrl-  I think I just figured out your name, is it Cheese Curl Girl?  Awesome.  (Though if I'm wrong, I am suitable ashamed…)  Hermione won't suffer much longer, promise.  The story is picking up like the speed of Frank's motorcycle.  Wheee….

CJ-  Whoops.  I meant to put that in the author's notes.  I actually did look it up, and it said an athame was primarily used for casting and other things.  I thought perhaps alternate words wouldn't be readily recognized.  I'm about to report that chapter so I will probably change it.  Thanks for your feedback!  Let the intensity continue!  On to chapter 22!

Corrie-  Thank you!  On to the next chapter!  Hopefully you shouldn't have to wait so long, Chapter 21 is mostly written.  Mostly.

crissy-  Nope. That would be too easy. The best everyone can hope for is for Hermione to get really desperate and show up in the reflecting pool in Dumbledore's office.  And as for Snape's book, here you go with your answer.  Gotta love Katie.  Hope I can keep up the intensity… Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Demon Sorceress-  I'll have to look for the fics, thanks for the rec! (Unless you meant books, where I'll have to go to the store).  Thanks for the review and hope you keep reading!

Dragonmaster Kurai-  A Chia Pet, from the Latin root… just kidding!  A Chia Pet is a Clay figure (in many shapes, a head, a mushroom, an animal… there are several) with ridges on it and holes.  You put a seed paste on it and it literally grows a grassy fur, like mustard seed sprouts.  Or visit ?source=google&chia-pet   Thanks DK for R&R!

eav-  I swear I won't be long in posting.  It's weird how the last chapters are written first, you know?  And we can't have Hermione cut her hair.  Instead she pulls her hair back, and Nick? The manager with the cigarette dangling from his mouth? He just doesn't give a damn, remember?  She's a warm body who can pour drinks.  Now that Hermione's tears are practically shed, for multiple reasons… she's about to move on to bigger and better ways of coping.  Desperation and sheer stupidity.

ellie-  You weren't going to review?  Glad to hook you with the movie quote, I LOVE that movie.  And who says fangirling isn't useful. (What happens when your brain turns on?)  My husband thinks I'm crazy because I'm so obsessed.  This started out as a desperate attempt to write some frigging thing.  And thanks to all of you I keep on writing.  I just can't give you guys enough gratitude.  From one fangirl to another, you rock.  And a bright light shot out of his wand like a cannon, I might change.  I guess I was trying to convey the sound it made, or how fast it was, not the physical object.  I'll think about a better phrase. Thanks!

Ezmerelda-  The Order could hear some but not all of what Hermione said, though they could definitely hear her curse out Voldemort.  I'm sure Ginny and Pansy felt pretty bad for Hermione to think it was him doing it to her instead of her friends.  As for the sudden appearance of hair,  Nick could care less.  He wanted a body to pour shots and she does it.  That's all he cares about.  Thanks for pointing it out, that's why I wrote her pulling her hair back and bobby pinning it down.  And Jake's a dear isn't he?  Everyone would want a friend like that.  As always, thank for your reviews.  The story is picking up now that we are nearing the finish!

falafelgigglehiney-  Thank you for continuing to review!  I won't re-write, except to correct.  Probably three more chapters and/or epilogue.

FluteKahlanChambers-  Thank you very much for your review!  I'm glad the plot was captivating enough.  I always worry about that.  In the home stretch now!

franflutewitch-  Dumbledore is nosy, but also quietly available to a guarded man like Severus.  He knows he had strong feelings for her, of protection… I'll have to look back in my notes and see if I wrote in this chapter or the last chapter.  Severus has got a special place in his sense of obligation for women.  Not only for his mother, who in the books was being accosted by a man in his childhood, but in this story for Snape's feeling of responsibility for the death of a 14 year-old girl which resulted from his initiation.  He hadn't been the same since.  And I put a bit about Death Eaters in this chapter, they are looking for her trust me. 

Gin-  Thanks a bunch.  Here's the next chapter, Chapter 21 is not far behind.

Hermia- Hey!  So glad you started reading, still hope not to de-rail.  Draco is going a bit off the beaten path, and while he has been cruel in the past I always thought he was a chicken shit that was all talk.  And Snape has only figured out that his got a bad case of Granger, and he can't do a damn thing about it.  Wait til next chapter, he'll be obsessed with finding her.

hope-  Thanks for your review, and I'm glad you like.  Hermione is still in agony, but getting more frustrated by the moment.  She won't be able to hang on to moping much longer.  I like Ginny's and Pansy's characters, they are about to come back into play again.  Hermione's about to feel the feminine power of someone who really needs to get shagged.  Scary.  Chapter 22, can't wait… nearing the finish now.

June Williams-  Thank you for reviewing, and you're right about the possibility of Snape being killed and the wards falling. She's being very foolish, stubborn and full of self-pity.  And if she tells someone to keep Snape alive, she might as well shag. She doesn't trust anyone to keep that kind of secret.  It's taking a lot of time to post and I've signed up on whispers.  Still figuring that out.  If I get time this week I may start posting there.  See you soon!

Kawaiilikitten- Will do.  Thanks for reviewing!

Kawiineko4eva-  Thank you for reading.  And you're right, it is so very wrong.  But they'll get there!  More updates soon!  Thanks for the review!

Keket Amunet-  This is only my second fic, and I am still in awe of some of the first fics I've ever read.  I've always thought my writing was merely okay, and I remember the incredibly talented people I went to school with.  I guess it makes me feel a bit inadequate, as I first began writing to get a story out of my head rattling up there for some time.  Shame on me for not accepting feedback well.  I'll have to issue an apology to Salem's Goddess for discounting her, thanks for correcting me.  Who am I to argue with a reviewer? It like someone tells me their favorite color is blue and I say.  "No it's not." 

I read also, I think on wiktt, about your writing workshops and was interested.  Where do you offer them?  Good luck with your thesis (you may be done already, that's quite an accomplishment!)

Thanks for your feedback about the characters, and Ron being mysteriously absent.  It's hard to keep up with all of them so I've tried to pull him in a bit.  And here you have Katie.  I have this little side fantasy that Katie was pretty dangerous in a former life and she overcompensates by dressing the way she does, writing with her quills, collecting art, yet having a number of weapons and two extra wands hidden under her long skirts.  Hah. But there's no room in the story for Katie to play that role. Ugh.

And you totally called it with Jake.  He is indeed Hermione's Harry in the Muggle world.  I think I wrote Harry feeling a little envious that he seems to know her so well in an earlier chapter.  And of course he caves in and calls Harry.  He's too freaked out by Hermione's disappearance.  I won't say any more to leave you in suspense. 

To let you know for sure about Snape's goddess: she stirred because he knew Hermione was in danger and he wasn't doing anything to protect Hermione, and Snape felt that Gaia might let herself go and he was worried about Hermione so he took matters into his own hands and cast. I think it rather outed him.  So still a possibility.  Thanks you thank you for your invaluable help in editing this chapter!  I appreciate the advice and feedback.

Kylara-  Me too.  If it were short all the time she would be a brillo pad, or furry instead of bushy.  I just couldn't do that to her.  She doesn't really disguise herself in the Muggle world except lay low, and work in an out of the way bar.  It's crowded, but a shame it's so popular.  Draco found her after all!  Sorry about Jake, I'm sure he has some faults but they didn't appear here!  Hey, he does give a bad haircut.

Lisarose-  Thanks for reading, glad you liked it.  It won't be long now.  Snape's about to get shocked!

Lori-  Hey Lori!  Hope you had a great time in Toronto, sounds like you did.  Glad you're liking the story, thanks for your review.  Always appreciate your comments.  More soon!

Luna Writer-  Burning nettle! And it leaves a rash.  That's just what I wanted.  Thanks.  Dumbledore always knew, but never said anything to protect Snape's anonymity.  He made note of Snape's reactions to the discussion between Remus and Harry when they first talked about it.  Reposting previous chapters to reflect corrections.  As always thanks for your expertise!

lyress-  Gotta love Lupin.  I love Remus' character.  He's such a mystery, but a good man.  He could be anything you know?  I know there's a powerful wizard in there somewhere, but to me he seems so gentle and parental, especially in teacher mode.  Sensible, just like in his school days with James and Sirius.  You're not too demanding wink, but if you want shared dreams, you may have to revisit the Burden of Sight (which I promise to finish right after I complete The Twenty).  Hermione's feelings about why she left and was so adamant about not returning will be explained in an upcoming chapter.  I may have mentioned it before, but don't want to reiterate it and spoil it for you! Thank you for reviewing!  …Hey there again!  Working as fast as I can type!

Maxy-  Hey, thanks for your review.  And the green ribbon came on the bottle of Ogden's last summer, his gift to the artist for completing the work.  Thanks for continuing to follow the story.  I promise to update again soon.

Me-  Good, I'm all bout happy.  Thank you for reading!

Michele Parent-  Hey!  Thanks for your review and I will try to e-mail you.  Also post updates on wiktt, if you subscribe.  I can't believe your husband reads, wish mine was as obsessed with Harry Potter as I am!

Midnight-Starr1- Thanks, and no flames yet.  It's totally HG/SS and I'm a die hard HG/SS shipper.  More to follow!

mione drac opal-  God, I read Clan of the Cave Bear eons ago!  Updating soon I swear, maybe in another week.  Thanks for reviewing!  Btw, did I say that I love your user name?  So cool.

MissCrystalix-  Hey thanks for reviewing!  Like your acronym.  Thanks for the 'eclectic' definition too, I never thought of it that way!

MxSRose-  Thank you for reviewing!  Woo hoo!  Will keep building tension.  Poor Hermione.  Snape has got it coming.

Nakhash Mekashefah-  Thank you!

Nevillus-  Wow, I can't believe you read it all in one go!  I'm flattered.  Please let me know what you think.  I'll post more next week.

nocturnus-  Thanks for pointing out the difference.  I think the people who try to hard to be superwomen (superpeople) fall so much harder than those who accept limitations.  Hermione accepts some things and rejects others.  She's a stubborn girl, all in the name of love and self-protection, will go into that in future chapter, coming up soon.

olka-polka-  Hey thanks for your review.  I think that Dumbledore is insightful, but not all knowing.  He sees Severus sticking his neck out and sweating bullets for the witch he's bound to, but hasn't pressed him yet.  Nobody knows Hermione's side of it.

OzRatbag2-  Thank you for your feedback about the story!  I think I wrote her parents saying that God gave her the gift of magic for a reason.  I know if I found out I was a witch, and had powers, I wouldn't let myself be ejected from my faith because of those thoughts, but you're right.  Thanks for your exploration of that.  It is possible I might be able to mention it in a future chapter. Hmmm…  Thanks for the lengthy review about multiple elements in the story.  Hee hee, plenty of URST (I started writing this fic when my husband was on a three week trip to Egypt and Aberdeen, can you say projection?) I am finally resolving to reload old chapters to correct typos and other things, I get so frustrated when I re-read and see their instead of there.  I am always grateful for corrections! Especially, please on tense changes.  It's also hard sometimes to write the thoughts of the characters.  Thank you, thank you, for your time!

Pandora Nervosa- Thanks for your review, and isn't that bit about Survivor true?  Everyone gets a little desperate don't they?  At least I didn't have Hermione whining over no mascara, when there is the most important issue of food.  Here's Chapter 21, squeal away!

PattyWaffle-  Thank you for your review!  And as for making me write, where were you yesterday when I was blocked?  Ha.  I'm unblocked now, ideas flowing…

Reader-  Thank you for your review, and I won't string you out too much longer.  Thanks for hanging on!

redlady27- I'm glad I'm driving you nuts!  Hermione is crazy! And she's not done yet!  I promise I will post again soon.

Rheniel-  I'm glad to have hooked you!  Many of the Snape/Hermione fics are really good, as I am sure is true of other ships. I know the age difference creeps out a lot of people, many times it does me too, but hey!  It's fiction.  And you reading through to almost the end.  Perhaps three more chapters to go.  Thank you for reviewing!

Rising Wind Tiger-  U betcha.  Thanks for the review, I dislike mush.  Snape just doesn't go there you know?  Hope you don't identify too closely with the anguish, I guess we all have out own painful experiences.  Both of our characters will finally get the benefit of acceptance, once they get the guts to own up to how they feel.

Romm- Thank you for your review!  Yeah, bartending is more exciting, and she was just getting the hang of it.  Of course when her role as calligrapher is spilled… well well.  Stay tuned!

Rosmerta-  Hooray!  I hope you enjoy the new chapter.  Hermione has a few more trials before the finale.  Stay tuned and thanks for reviewing!

Shabopo-  Thank you Shelly for your review!  People depend on contact and people get a little out of sorts when isolated.  I'm glad you liked the chapter and I may run a thing or two by you if you don't mind.  And we are transitioning… into panic mode.  Hermione is running away and also toward the finish.  She can't see ahead of her and now she won't have time to plan, just react.  Stay tuned!   Thank you very much for helping me edit!

Shauna-  Okay I won't!  Thanks much for the review.   And thank you for continuing to read the story, glad so many people are putting in their two cents, it's help me develop the story further.

SimplyScribbling-  Thank you so much for hanging on.  I really want Hermione to be the fiercely stubborn person she is.  Like in this chapter when gets frustrated and finishes the runes.  Channels her anger you know?  Gaia has an instrumental role coming up in the next chapter or two!  I hope I posted before your vacation!

Stellar Snape-  Oooh, I'm glad you were moved.  Victory dance.  I love Louise Labe's poems she writes with so much agony.  And Hermione is a woman in pain.  The desire is beginning to take over though, on the run now, the chapters will be picking up speed until at last our couple meets face to face.

Strawberry22-  Thanks for your review! But conflicting info?  (you mean contradicting stuff I said before, or stuff in the book… hmmm…) Not fair to post and not share. ( I don't mean that meanly, inquiring minds want to know!) I need to fix stuff.  There is one thing it could be… but I won't spoil it. I did some stuff deliberately… but it's not overt. wink

Tabii-  Hope not to disappoint with the upcoming meeting of HG/SS. : ) wink! I will post again soon, thanks for your review!

thatonechic-  You know I'm really flattered you said that.  I never expected the fic to be something that might speak to people that way.  And while Hermione's faith makes her strong, she certainly has taken one hell of a detour.  A recommendation to all would not be shag away.  Though we are certainly headed there. Thank you so much for spending the time to read this, and then to review.  Chapter 22 coming soon!

Tiffie 101-  Thanks for hanging on.  Hermione was at a loss for what to do for cave dwelling.  And it was a way of delaying the inevitable.  She won't be able to outrun her desire.  Thanks for your review.

Viv- Hey thank for your review and glad you like the story.  I don't think I ever said the SOS was ever more powerful than Dumbledore and Snape, fully grown wizards with years of experience (don't forget Minerva, she kicks ass!) Remember a bundle of sticks are harder to break than just the one, and the bonds of sisterhood and teamwork work that way too.  Hermione couldn't have done this by herself, nor Pansy.  Minors or no, Harry, Ron, and Hermione manage to pull off some impressive feats at the end of ever one of Rowling's gems!  I don't wish to make the girls supernatural by any means, but I do think a lot of women's power and mysteries of the female has been lost over the centuries, in religion, in history, science, art…  Girl power!  : 0 )

wackoramaco87-  Hermione is mortified Snape won't and could never love her back.  She has never loved anyone before and it's killing her to stay away.  Ah, I love angst.  Goddesses are one use only blessings, Pansy has used hers, and Ginny.  Thanks for reading and reviewing, you've been with me practically since I first posted!  And we are nearing the end.  Tear. : (

Wiri-  I couldn't agree more with your eloquent sentiment.  Women have to stick together and we are all the more powerful for doing so.  I actually didn't intend to black unicorn to symbolize Severus, but now that you mention it… yeah, yeah that was the whole plan see?  Hermione's about to make some rash decisions, but then, much is about to happen forcing her into certain situations that will test her will.


	22. The Road Less Traveled

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, never was, never will be. Still borrowing and enjoying my playtime with Rowling's wonderful characters!

**Chapter 22: The Road Less Traveled**

"I saw Hermione."

Snape crossed in two long strides toward Draco and bared his teeth. "WHERE IS SHE?!" Draco could feel his hot breath on his face, spittle accompanied the words from his lips.

Draco had never seen him so worked up. He shrank back from the potions master and wore a look of suspicion on his face. Dumbledore recognized the boy's mental calculations. To Draco, Snape was still not to be trusted. Of course, Snape didn't exactly inspire trust in others.

Draco pulled himself to his feet, disliking how similar he felt when his own father used to use his height to advantage.

"Mister Malfoy, there is precious little time," Dumbledore said. "This is the strongest lead we have. Tell us where you saw her." Dumbledore was standing, and Draco—standing or not— was completely overcome by Dumbledore commanding presence at that moment.

"She told me not to say anything, and she's long gone anyway…" Draco said with a fleeting look toward Snape.

Snape snatched him by the collar and lifted him to eye level. Draco gasped, his feet dangling a few inches above the ground.

Dumbledore crossed his arms, and while it might appear to many a benign move, he was actually much closer to his wand. He waited and watched for Professor Snape to decide the best course of action for the student who had always managed to straddle the fence.

"Mister Malfoy, you better tell me _right now_ where she is or you will _wish_ you had kept your little appointment tonight." Snape face was cold and speech a deadly whisper. His venomous look was fearsome enough.

"You d-didn't let me _finish_," Draco managed. "Please put me down." His worried expression and eyebrow raise toward the Headmaster pleaded for intervention.

Upon seeing the disapproving look and 'ahem' from Dumbledore, Snape obliged. Draco's feet found solid ground, but Snape did not release Draco from his grasp. "Speak."

The words came spilling out as fast as he could say them. "She works in a bar called 'The Shot' in Muggle London, and has been bartending there for three weeks. When I decided not to join tonight, I apparated to London and told the cab driver to take me to a popular club. I just happened on the place where Hermione worked. Well into the evening my Father showed up, though I don't think he had a chance to see us. We ran out the back, Hermione arranged for me to get a ride to the Leaky Cauldron so I could Floo back here…"

"You mean you actually spoke to her?" Snape released him.

"Yes, sir. I arrived there around five forty-five and left about one fifteen."

"And you're just telling us now?!" Snape was furious_. Damn, he had first seen her nearly 8 hours ago!_

"Severus, patience please. Mister Malfoy, I take it you were somehow _unable_ to contact us after you left?"

"Yes, sir. If I tried to apparate again, I wasn't at all sure I would make it. I was kind of upset when I went to London and went way off course." Draco grimaced in admitting his error. "Hermione isn't exactly in the nicest part of London."

"Mister Malfoy, did you say she was a bartender?" Dumbledore asked with some disbelief.

"Yes, sir. She pours shots all night, sometimes dozens at a time. She seems to… have adjusted pretty well."

Snape's expression revealed nothing of his racing thoughts. _Hermione Granger, 'the brightest witch of her age', has been working in a common bar, in Muggle London for three weeks. It was nearly incomprehensible._

"Where did she go if she's no longer at the bar?" Dumbledore asked.

"She left on the back of the bouncer's motorcycle. Who knows where she is now. I asked her to come with me several times but she wouldn't have it."

Snape voice became distant after listening to the conversation. "How did she appear to you? Was she in good health?"

Draco looked at him strangely. _Why would he care about Granger?_ "She was fine, a bit paranoid, but okay."

"What was she wearing, what does she look like?" Snape asked.

"What? Do you mean, was she in disguise or something?" Draco looked puzzled. He shrugged. "She was wearing a black skirt and a sleeveless black t-shirt." Draco thought a moment. "She had her hair pulled back from her face and wore earrings."

Snape was already confused. _Jake said he'd cut off all of her hair. Short. What did she have to pull back?_

Draco saw Snape's perplexed expression and things just weren't adding up. _Unless this was a show of concern all for Dumbledore's benefit._ He had done nothing but berate her in class. Of course, Snape had worked at Hogwarts for years and Dumbledore appeared to trust him.

"Something on your mind, Mister Malfoy?" Dumbledore asked with a curious twinkle, and peered over his spectacles to elicit a response.

He clenched his jaw and then took a deep breath. Draco's eyes moved from those of Dumbledore to meet those of Snape. "I didn't take the Dark Mark tonight," Draco said firmly. "I don't intend to at all. _Not ever_. You might as well know now, because my Father is sure to be looking for me." He considered the Death Eaters and Voldemort notified.

Snape regarded Draco with new appreciation for the boy's self-determination.

"Draco, please have a seat," Dumbledore offered him the chair. Snape warded the door, and closed the Floo, taking a seat beside Draco.

Draco looked at both men not knowing what to expect.

"You have done a very brave thing this evening. And I am sorry we couldn't give you a little more guidance in your decision. It seems our concern for your choice was unwarranted. You surprised me, Draco." Dumbledore looked at him the same way he had after Christmas, with that almost paternal sentiment that was so sadly lacking in his own father.

_OUR_ concern for _your_ choice. _Snape was concerned about his decision? _"I couldn't join… that," Draco searched for a word to describe what he so desperately wanted to avoid. "I may be a lot of things, but I am _not _going to do what my father did."

Dumbledore blinked a few times and considered the boy. It was a good first step. "Draco, everything that happened tonight is very crucial," he said standing. Reaching into a box behind his desk he pulled out a bowl Draco recognized as a Pensieve. "Miss Granger, has been missing and her disappearance is extremely important to what is happening right now…"

"With the spell?" Draco guessed. Pansy had told him some. The rest he figured out.

"Yes," Dumbledore replied hesitantly. "Did she… mention anything of it?"

"No, I just figured. She was really close to Pansy and held onto the spell the longest. It's hard not to notice the giant blue pentacle in the Great Hall. And when I was in the bar she looked… I dunno, um... _excited_."

"Excited, Mister Malfoy?" Snape asked. "How so?"

"She seemed kind of…" Draco almost cringed to say it. "She looked like Pansy did after she came back from the forest in January. _That _kind of excited." Dumbledore still looked confused and so Draco cautiously supplied another word. "Insatiable."

Snape's face hardened, but knew Draco was just making an observation, he wasn't being malicious.

"Mister Malfoy, if you please." Dumbledore gestured to the bowl.

Draco brought the tip of his wand to his head and concentrated. Then he pulled four long silver stands from his temple and dropped each into the bowl.

Dumbledore nodded and gestured for Snape to indulge. He had noticed Snape's preoccupation with Hermione's safety on earlier occasions. Snape had been tense, on edge, ever since her disappearance. Snape needed this, he need to do something to find her. Frankly he was the best detective the Order could hope for. Dumbledore would be satisfied enough to watch the events from the surface, while at the same time keeping a close eye on Draco's reactions.

Snape looked into the Pensieve and prodded the silvery substance with the tip of his wand. He had been plunging into memories since January, but they were all his own and none of them held clues to bring her back. Finally this was current news— he was going to find Hermione.

Snape bowed into the stone basin to face the memory, soon surrounded by Muggles on a darkened, wet street looking much the same as the place Jake had dropped him off last week. Ignoring Draco's image, he slipped by him into the mostly empty bar.

There she was. _Beautiful.__ Healthy._ Her bushy hair was reined in, pulled back from her face in kinky blond-brown waves, her untamed tresses anchored to the back of her head with bobby pins and well-placed barrettes. A few wisps of hair framed her face and silver Celtic knots dangled from her lobes. Her arms were well- defined from hard wok. To his relief, she appeared well-nourished and had obviously put on some weight since her cave experience.

Hermione lifted another heavy case of liquor onto the bar and removed twelve bottles of vodka out to stock her station. She threw the empty box on the floor and stomped on it with an odd look of satisfaction on her face. She picked it up the flattened cardboard and tossed it out the swinging door.

Snape walked up to her, studying her every move. This hadn't happened eight hours ago. She squatted behind the bar, reaching up to grab each bottle and stow it beneath the bar. Snape peered over, looking at the top of her head. He wanted to wring her neck. _How dare she just stand here doing ordinary things in some relative safety without letting them know how she was?_ Members of the Order had been looking for her for nearly four months, searching everywhere, turning themselves inside out to find her and she was here, in— of all places— a bar, looking completely unbothered by it at all.

Snape couldn't have been more wrong. What he witnessed next confirmed that.

"Hey Kate!" Snape didn't look to see who called out the unfamiliar name but Hermione did.

She brushed herself off and made to stand up, "Yeah Frank?"

The tall man looked over the bar and whispered, "Stay down and look in the mirror."

A look of panic swept over Hermione's face and Snape watched as she swiftly grasped her wand hidden in the lining of her skirt. She looked at Draco's reflection and harrumphed. She looked back at the man. "What him? Harmless."

"That's good," the relieved man said.

Stay down, Kate. She wasn't even using her real name! How could he be angry with her for trying to protect herself? Snape could kick himself for assuming she enjoyed this. That she was on holiday. That she wasn't being responsible. Hermione Granger was the definition of responsible.

Draco walked up behind Snape to ask for directions and then noticed Hermione beneath the bar. She drew herself up, unable to stay hidden now.

"Hermione! What the hell are you doing here?"

"Frank, can you give us a moment?" her eyes never left Draco. The tall man who was Frank departed and Hermione took swift action to remove Draco's wand.

Snape was impressed. Hermione was initially distrustful, but despite circumstances still managed to be supportive of his choice and help him to escape. Had he been in her place, Snape would've cut and run.

He watched as they bantered and Draco tried to convince her to return. Snape didn't think he'd done a very good job. Draco was right to be concerned about doing magic, for his father would have surely located him sooner.

Snape also saw what Draco was talking about when he said Hermione had adjusted. She worked the bar like a seasoned professional. It bothered him to see her talents go to waste. It must pain her to do such mundane tasks when there was so much out there waiting to be discovered. He imagined that Hermione was also aware of this, having given up a lot to run. _And what was so horrible that she had to run?_ Pansy said she couldn't fulfill the spell. But there was just something missing there. Hermione wasn't terribly impulsive, which made this derailment of hers a little difficult to fathom.

He could see it in her eyes periodically though glimpses of Malfoy's memory. Twice she turned to face away from the crowd, taking a deep breath and composing herself. Sometimes she would get these sad eyes and this faraway look, and then snap back to reality to fill a drink order. He heard Danny thank Draco for cheering her up, and said Hermione was happier than she had been in a long time in seeing someone she knew.

Following her into the next memory, she went to collect shot glasses, and noticed her expression change as she wove her way through the writhing crowd. When Hermione returned to the bar her skin was flushed and she looked antsy… excited. She turned her back to the patrons for a moment and gripped the shelf in front of her, her mouth hanging a bit open. Then she pulled her hand to her abdomen and chewed her lower lip, abruptly turning when her peer came to check on her.

It was almost too much for Snape to see her like that. He couldn't help but be a little aroused by it himself. It was the expression he saw in the memory of the Yule Ball, intermingled with some of the initial desperation seen in the mirror three weeks ago— the face with seductive, glassy, brown eyes that he fantasized about secretly. _She must feel like that all the time since the spell_. Hardly a romantic vision as she struggled to compose herself, it bothered him to think about her that way— Hermione was running from desire not embracing it.

The next memory came and Hermione danced with the other bartenders behind the bar. From the change in her mood, it seemed this was one of the few moments she truly enjoyed. Soon afterward, he saw her expression change to one of panic as the tall bouncer waved her down over the crowd. Snape turned to get a better look and caught a glimpse of Lucius' arguing with the other bouncer through the front door.

All along, Snape had been hoping that his Goddess would provide some clue as to her safety or whereabouts. This evening, she had been in real danger from one of the most loathsome, immoral, detestable people he knew, and yet Gaia had shown no interest. His theory had failed him, and suddenly Snape felt livid that something might happen to her before he could stop it. She could be dead before he ever found out. _What good was Gaia if he couldn't use her to protect Hermione?_

He watched as Hermione yanked Draco over the bar and crawl out the back. Snape followed quickly and listened as Hermione barked out instructions to keep Draco safe. Draco tried again to get her to return but she refused. Snape was amused at her kindness when she pulled a stack of notes from her pocket, tips from the bar. Again, Hermione was nicer than he would have been.

Snape's last vision was of Hermione cursing under her breath about her clothing choice while she hitched up her shiny, black, fitted skirt, and then straddled the motorcycle to sit behind a man she called 'Frank'. The skirt then barely covered her hips leaving her thighs exposed. Snape ran as they sped out of sight and could only see which direction they turned before the Pensieve spat him out into Dumbledore's office. _He needed to find Frank._

Draco scooped up his memories again and placed them back in his head.

Snape stood next to the Floo, "Thank you Mister Malfoy. Headmaster, I must leave for London."

"Be careful Severus," Dumbledore said as he unblocked the Floo.

Draco was about to object, but it seemed that Dumbledore trusted him. Snape still made him nervous though.

As soon as Snape took a step toward the fireplace, green flames appeared and a bubblegum-pink-haired woman stepped out. "Good, you're here!" She grabbed Snape's arm to pull him into the flames. "I found out where she's been living. Come on! The Witches Brew, London," she said crisply and they disappeared.

Draco couldn't believe what he just saw. He had never seen her before, and she seemed glad enough to recruit Snape to help find Hermione.

Dumbledore let out a sigh of relief. "Mister Malfoy, thank you for coming to us so quickly. I can see by your expression you must have concerns about what transpired here."

"Professor Dumbledore, I'm not so sure I should mention it but Professor Snape is a..."

"Death Eater?" Dumbledore said to the shocked boy. "Is that what you were going to say? Yes, I know. But he is extremely _dedicated_ to protecting our students. When he returns, I suggest you speak further about that with him."

Draco nodded, flat out shocked that Dumbledore had been so straightforward. Nothing got by Professor Dumbledore— _why had he been surprised?_ Draco knew that was all Dumbledore was going to discuss with him on that matter. "What about my father? I won't go with him."

"No, I can't imagine you would. You should be concerned about your father, but don't be too worried. Do not leave the grounds under any circumstances and be careful of your peers. I need not mention that you may not discuss what happened tonight with anyone… except perhaps Miss Parkinson," he said with a smile. "If you care to resolve some of your _other_ differences, you might include her closest friends," he suggested slyly.

_That meant Potter, Weasel, and Ginny_. Dumbledore was always trying to reunite the houses. "Yes, sir. What do I do if my father comes to pick me up or something? He has a habit of just showing up."

"Draco, have you heard of the wonders of a well-placed portkey?" Dumbledore grinned.

Draco left Dumbledore's office with new optimism. Everything was far from rosy, but it was a hell of a lot better than being a slave. The portkey Dumbledore gave him was a silver snake coiled around a round tiger's eye stone. It hung beneath his robes on a long chain. Charmed by the Headmaster, he could use it anywhere, at any time, to be safe from his father. He had to find Pansy.

-----------------------

Tonks and Snape stepped out into the wizard's apothecary in central London and disapparated immediately to a darkened stairwell. The popping noise made by their entrance echoed in the space around them and Snape shot an angry look at Tonks, the supposed Auror. She wasn't terribly stealthy for a trained agent of the Ministry.

"Oops, sorry 'bout that. Wait 'til you see," Tonks said pushing a heavy metal door open for Snape.

Snape followed her into the poorly lit hotel. Florescent lighting flashed overhead, as several of the bulbs perpetually threatened to go out. Through the thin walls, the squealing of a crying child could be heard from one of the rooms down the gloomy hallway as well as graphically intimate exclamations from other rooms which should be kept private.

The place was filthy, and smelled of urine and smoke. "This is where she stayed?" Snape shook his head. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, and for only 270 pounds sterling a month. The landlord said she's paid through for three more weeks. But it looks like she's not coming back," Tonks said.

"Why do you say that?" Snape asked.

Tonks looked both ways and took out her wand, muttering several complex spells. "Because all of her stuff is gone." With her foot, she pushed the door to Hermione's hotel room open. It looked worn, except for the bed that was made, but looked cleaner than anywhere else in the hotel. _Mirror, bed, dresser.__ A few cosmetics were on the dresser with some shampoo._ Everything was ordinary, the exception being the runes on the doorframe he had seen in the mirror. She had lived here.

Tonks saw Snape's gaze linger at the rune work. "Took us twelve tries to get in. Clever. Even for runes, it's pretty sturdy work. For someone who can do no magic, Hermione's got it where it counts."

"Have you interviewed her neighbors?"

"Are you kidding? Have you been listening?" Tonks threw up her hands.

In the background screams of _'Oh fuck!__ Yes! Yes! Harder! Harder!'_ and other strained grunting could be heard in sync with the repetitive knocking of a rickety bed frame thumping against the wall. _Revolting._ _How could she live like this? Jake had to give her money. This is probably all she could afford. _He had to admire her survival and sheer nerve to go as far as she had.

"They weren't very talkative. Most of the rooms here are rented for one night, if you know what I mean."

Snape rolled his eyes. "Obviously."

"Landlord says she came here exactly four weeks ago tomorrow, and was happy enough that she paid in advance, in cash. Went by the name of Kate Evans."

Snape looked around the room. She was struggling to make it as a bartender, in London, with little money and living in a dump like this with nothing but runes for protection. _Resourceful girl._

"We've turned it inside out. She didn't leave anything telling," said Tonks.

"She worked down the street at a place called The Shot. They may be closing up soon. I need to talk to a few of their employees," Snape said.

He walked out the front of the building, quickly outpacing Tonks.

"Hey, wait up!" Tonks jogged a bit, now taking two steps for every one of Snape's.

The club's neon sign flickered out and an older man was locking up.

"Excuse me, are you the manager here?" Snape asked.

"Yeah," the man flicked his cigarette. "Who wants to know?"

"I was hoping to know where I could find Kate Evans. We're friends of hers," Snape said agreeably as he could manage, unable to hide a bit of urgency in his voice.

Nick threw his cigarette on the ground and snuffed it out. "I'd like to know where too. She just walked out tonight." Nick turned to walk to his car, unwilling to help the pair. Frank had talked to him already about Kate's predicament. They were a tight knit group, and Nick wasn't too keen on helping anybody who might try to hurt Kate.

"Please. We've been looking for her for a long time." Tonks raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't that concern you? Isn't there someone she worked with that could help us?" she asked.

She had Nick's attention. "You say you're friends of hers, but Kate didn't _have _any friends. Why should I tell you anything?"

Tonks and Snape looked at each other. "The truth is best Severus."

He sighed angrily. "I am her _professor_ at a school she ran away from, so unless you want to lose your liquor license for employing a _minor child_ as a bartender, I suggest you fork over the damned address!" She wasn't really underage anymore, but clearly Nick didn't know that.

Nick gritted his teeth. He didn't like this guy. "I never saw anybody who knew Kate until tonight— some kid showed up. Blond. Derek I think his name was… or something like it. Maybe you should ask him."

"We already spoke to him. Danny gave him a ride home. He said she went off on the back of Frank's motorcycle," Snape baited, hoping for additional info on the employee. "Do you know where I could find Frank, or a number where he can be reached?"

Nick sighed and turned the keys in the door. "Come in. I don't know what good it'll do you. Frank lives almost an hour out. He doesn't have a cell…" Nick pulled the string to activate the light bulb that illuminated his cluttered office. There were tall stacks of papers everywhere, and how he was going to find employee records in this mess was beyond Snape. Nick began searching somewhat randomly, but after fifteen minutes, found the coffee stained folder.

Snape gritted his teeth throughout the exercise. If Tonks hadn't been there, Nick would've personally escorted him to Frank's house and one way or another, told him every last detail. Snape was very efficient.

Nick narrowed his eyes. The imposing man reminded him of one of his own teachers growing up so he coughed up the address and home phone. "It may not do you much good. I think he was planning on a trip somewhere. May not be back until tomorrow night."

"Thank you, you've been very helpful," Tonks said diplomatically.

Snape took the documents and looked them over, scribbled down the relevant information and thrust the folder back at the manager. He was not at all happy with how much time it had taken to get something so simple. Being an Auror was always described in such romantic wand-slinging fashion, and while Snape could be shrewd and sly, he preferred a too direct approach that would not be looked on favorably by the Ministry.

---------------

Hermione kept her arms around Frank's waist as they sped down the street and turned the corner. Her heart was pounding in her chest with the resolving fear of seeing Lucius Malfoy. Hopefully he had just come for Draco— and as far as she knew, that was as close as a Death Eater had come to finding her.

She couldn't return to her apartment, thankful at least to have had the forethought to pack an emergency bag. She hoped Draco was making it okay to Hogwarts.

The motorcycle hummed beneath her, wind whipping her hair, pulling some loose from her bobby pins. She could feel the thrum of the engine vibrate through her fingertips and under her rear. As the fear subsided, it was replaced with the exhilaration she had at the club, a renewed desire, as when she waded through the crowd of gyrating dancers. All sensation suddenly became more important, her senses heightened—she held more tightly to Frank and became aware of her own breathing. Hermione closed her eyes, finding herself more interested in the feel of Frank's leather jacket and his muscular torso than thinking about where she was going or what she was running from. She was straddling him from behind, her skirt raised up on her thighs, catching the wind which made the back of it balloon out a little behind her. Everything became very hot between her legs, uncomfortably so.

She opened her eyes and tried to regain some self-control. She wasn't wearing white and there was no spell she was chanting, but felt like she wanted to touch _everything. _Anything to give her a release. She tapped Frank's arm to signal him to stop and he pulled over, having only traveled 20 blocks.

"What is it?" Frank asked turning off the motor.

Hermione stepped off the bike, quickly pulling down her skirt, embarrassed that she had to do so. "I need to go. Thank you for helping me, Frank. I really owe you so much."

The tall gentleman saw the desperate look in her eyes, not satisfied with her answer. "I'd prefer to take you somewhere you can stay."

"There are some hotels up ahead." She pointed at several that were both pubs and had rooms for let.

Frank frowned. "Kate—you could come to my place. It's not much but you can crash there and you can figure out what to do tomorrow."

Hermione shifted her feet uncomfortably. "Thank you, for everything. You're really sweet to think of me. But I'll be okay." She gave him a big hug, an immediate mistake because the physical contact of being close to any member of the opposite sex was electrifying. She kissed him on the cheek, lingering a little longer than she had intended. Pressing her lips to his face felt good, and she could still feel the sensation of his skin after her lips left his cheek. But when she leaned away, she could only feel the regret in her heart that it wasn't Severus she had kissed. It felt strange, like a betrayal— that guilt briefly replaced the desire she had felt only a moment earlier.

Frank was a little taken aback at her forwardness. "You're welcome, Kate. You have my number if you need anything."

"Y-yes, thank you. Tell Nick I said thanks for giving me a job. I'm really grateful." She walked away down the street, backpack over her shoulder.

"Hermione!" He called out.

She turned to look at him. _Busted._

"Your friend called you that. Is that your real name?"

She didn't know what to say. As Kate she could be ordinary and plain. But in the end she was just herself. "Yes. My name is Hermione Granger," she admitted with a smile. She ached to be real, but also ached to be alive. "Don't tell anyone if they ask I worked there…"

"Yeah, I know. Kate Evans just walked out on her job. Who's Hermione?" Frank smiled back.

She loved hearing her name said aloud. She existed again and realized she had to make a new plan. As the walked into the first pub, she felt her thighs stick together with sweat and moisture from the motorcycle ride and her resulting arousal from contact with Frank. She felt good when she kissed him, but when she pulled away, she was abundantly aware that he wasn't the man she wanted.

It was still before two, and she decided to buy a drink before bed. No one in this place cared if she looked old enough. The Ale House had a room available so she paid and went straight to the bar. She was relieved when the bartender poured her a double scotch.

She was tempted to drink it straight in one go, but decided to sip it instead.

There was the bartender and three patrons beside herself. It was a vast change from The Shot. No loud music— just one piano and half a dozen tables.

Hermione was jittery and still needed something to do. "Do you mind if I play?"

The bartender shrugged. He could barely remember when someone last played it. "Be my guest."

The lid was covered with a thin film of dust, her fingertips left clean ovals when she lifted it. Underneath, the keys were white and shiny, this piano being in much better condition than the one Nick got at a good price. She set her drink on several dry napkins and began to play a melancholy tune. The notes together sounded a little sultry, almost seductive as they ran together. Hermione let the music fill her, allowing her body to sway a little as she played.

A few minutes passed and an older gentleman approached her. He leaned against the piano. She finished the last few bars and when she opened her eyes, he was standing there.

"You play beautifully. Jason Kingmon…" He held out his hand and she shook it.

"Pleasure to meet you Mr. Kingmon. My name is Hermione," she volunteered. She was only staying one night, and wanted to be genuine for a little while longer.

"Please, call me Jason." He was feeling his age.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so formal. I'm just accustomed to that." Her fingers touched his left arm lightly in apology.

"May I buy you another?" He gestured to the bartender.

"Please."

Jason left to retrieve her drink and returned with another double.

Hermione took it and sipped. "Thank you. Would you… like me to play something else?" She inquired a bit playfully. The liquor was having the desired effect—making her relaxed and sleepy, taking the edge off her desire. It also made her lips feel a little loose.

"Hmmm…Was that John Barry you were playing before?"

She raised an eyebrow, "You know your music, Jason." Her voice dropped a bit lower.

"Do you know _A House is Not a Home_?" he asked quietly, taking a long drink.

"Of course," Hermione replied, seeing his rather somber expression.

_…A chair is still a chair… even when no one's sitting there… But a chair is not a house, and a house is not a home when no one's there to hold you tight…_

Hermione's fingers trembled and stopped playing after they found a last, dissonant chord. She swallowed her emotion and finished her drink. "I'm not so sure that I should be playing that right now," she said in a hollow voice.

Jason didn't think that was the best selection for him either. He was quite absorbed in his own self-pity at the chords. "Why are you here?" He asked bluntly.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You're young, and beautiful." She scoffed at the complement. He repeated it, "You are too beautiful to be at a place like this talking to a man like me."

"I'm not following you Jason," she said, genuinely puzzled.

"No one really comes here to stay, Hermione. They pass through; many stay for only a few hours."

"And then why are you here then?"

"Ladies first."

_Why not?_ She thought. She was feeling a little punchy. "I feel in love with a completely unapproachable man I can't ever have. It's horribly complicated, but that's the short of it." She drank her scotch.

"What, was he married or something?"

"God no!" She blurted out a little loud for the quiet bar, and flushed with embarrassment. Hermione rolled the empty glass around in her hand.

Jason ordered them two more drinks and while Hermione knew she would pay for it later, she needed something to mask the desire and help her sleep.

"How about you, Jason? Why are you here?"

He figured he owed her as direct of a response as she had provided. "I come here several times a week to be alone. I occasionally pick someone up so I can forget about how much I miss my wife." He emptied his glass and the ice rattled at the bottom, cueing in the bartender.

"Are you separated?"

"No, widowed."

The air was still. Hermione immediately regretted her question.

"I'm sorry," she said honestly, touching his arm again. She pulled away though, reminded instantly of her condition. Her physical yearnings were in stark contrast to the current subject matter and it sickened her.

"It's alright. She's been gone five years now," Jason nursed his drink.

"I'm sure that it hasn't been long enough to change the way you felt about her," she said softly.

He smiled, pleasantly accentuating his crows' feet beside dark eyes. It made him a more youthful man. In a tiny way, it reminded her of someone else she knew. They talked for an hour or so, until Hermione was well drowsy and her speech a little slurred from drink.

She excused herself goodnight, but after three doubles in a short period of time, it was challenging to remain upright. She had last gone to bed at ten-thirty in the morning the previous day.

Jason Kingmon was a gentleman. He was probably around fifty-seven though they didn't discuss age. He was well-dressed, handsome and partly balding, his dark eyes and Middle Eastern features made him attractive in his own right. He must have been incredibly sexy in a younger day. He held himself well, though he was weary and tired. Jason came here to feel something different— to be alone in a bar instead of alone in a house.

Hermione felt an odd connection with him. She could not of course compare her loss with his, but he was a good listener and she needed someone to talk to and to have confide in her, even briefly. She couldn't continue to starve herself for companionship by continuing to build relationships on falsehoods.

Jason helped her to the room and she slipped inside after kissing him goodnight on the cheek. She was too intoxicated to feel any sexual pull from kissing him, so she collapsed into bed and fell asleep quickly. If you could call it that.

When she woke it was around two-thirty in the afternoon and she felt awful. She had a colossal hangover, and felt smelly and sticky with the sweat of sleep. Once awake, she became acutely aware of her need.

She took a long shower and tried to take another nap, only successful after masturbating. At four, a maid burst into her room, started to find anyone there.

"I thought you checked out." The maid just stood there.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Hermione looked at the time. "I'll pay for another night. There's no need to clean the room."

The maid left abruptly without a word, and Hermione sat up and rubbed her eyes. She could not do this. She could not just sit here, sleep the day away and not plan her next step. "_The next step to where?"_ she asked herself. _"Where the hell am I going?" _

She brushed her hair and twisted it up, slipping on a pair of low cut jeans and a button-down white cotton pinstripe blouse with a collar. At first she was throwing her clothes on, but then that delicious feeling captivated her again. The sensuality of cloth on skin was arousing her, as it had in the cave when she had her first bath. She moaned a bit as she pinched a nipple through the fabric of her shirt. _Stop it._

Hermione needed to think. She threw all of her stuff into her backpack and left to pay the hotel manager.

She could always think when she played.

------------

Snape had just entered the front hall after an exhausting night with Tonks. As soon as he entered, Minerva, Albus and Remus converged on him.

"Severus, you have been gone all night. What did you find out about Miss Granger?" Minerva asked.

"She indeed was working at a bar and left suddenly. She apparently received a ride from one of the employees there, but he didn't show up at his home last night. We waited, but he did not return. This morning, we woke his disabled mother who said he had gone out of town but should be back this evening. We have no way of speaking to him until then."

"I know you are disappointed, but I'm sure she will turn up soon," Dumbledore said with a serious glare and half-smile.

Snape's eyes narrowed suspiciously at the old man. "Do you have something to add?"

"I saw a _very faint_ image of Hermione in the mirror a little while ago." Snape was ready to bolt for his office. Dumbledore put up his hands in a calming gesture. "It's alright. Remus is watching it carefully. Minerva also watched for quite awhile. It appears she has been sleeping, but her image fades in and out."

"We don't have a location?" Snape asked.

"I'm afraid not." Dumbledore escorted Snape to his office slowly, and could sense the impatience in the steps of his potions master.

Students passed them by in the halls on a Saturday, as always giving Professor Snape a wide berth. The students of all years were mostly afraid of him— as if breathing too hard could lose house points or earn detention. The crowd was dispersing after lunch and Dumbledore and Snape ascended the steps behind the stone gargoyle.

Snape strode forward quickly, and Remus sat back in his chair to give his uneasy peer some space.

"You see? Nothing." Remus said. "I thought I could see her toss and turn a little, but it was too vague to make out.

Snape could see the faint outline of her features through the haze, wavy hair splayed on the bed and then she vanished from view again in a fog. "How long has it been like this?"

"Since you left last night. Minerva said it faded out for about six hours this morning."

"Why has she been desperate if she's only sleeping?" Snape asked.

"Hermione is _barely _sleeping. She tosses and turns and moans often. She doesn't seem at all comfortable when she does come into vieeewahh." His words faded into a sleepy yawn. "Excuse me. I need to go grade some papers. This is going to take a while. Let me know how it goes." Remus stretched into a standing position. He had been here for hours.

Snape took Remus' place and peered into the blank mirror, hoping that she would come back into view, real time confirmation of her safety and an opportunity to locate her before the Death Eaters did. He wished for a glimpse of her, but he was aggravated that the closest he would get to her was in a memory or on the other side of some mirror.

_-------------_

Draco got up early and dressed, eager to talk to Pansy. It was three am before he got to sleep, and even then he could barely catch a wink. Draco found her in her secret corner down the dark side hall from the Slytherin dorms. The light streamed in from the tiny oval window, lighting up the highlights in her hair. He walked up to her with his shoulders back, smug look on his face, finally free of his father. He couldn't wait to tell her.

Pansy's eyes widened seeing him. She took a step back, feeling a bit cornered. "Draco, I told you that I don't want to talk to you especially now!" Pansy yelled, turning her wand on him.

Draco held up his hands in a placating, unarmed gesture, slowly pulling his left sleeve up to exposed unblemished white flesh.

No tattoo. No Mark. "You didn't?" Pansy asked in shock.

"I couldn't," he explained. "You see, someone told me I'd be a slave. No one owns me." He reached out to touch her arm, and she ran to hug him fiercely.

"Don't you ever do that again! You hear me?! You gave me a heart attack! I was up all night worried about you, after weeks of the silent treatment." She smacked him on the arm.

Draco kissed her thoroughly, cutting off her speech. The dam had broken and Pansy had truly been waiting for this. After nearly accosting him earlier in the year, she did not want to be the one responsible for making the first move. She wanted it to come from him, not just go along with whatever was suggested just because she was available.

She tasted marvelous to him. His tongue explored her mouth and he sucked on her lips and tongue, nibbling each tenderly. This was all new territory, January's sexual explosion was nothing like this emotionally connected kiss, like the beauty of a first kiss.

Pansy was overwhelmed, so relieved he hadn't been turned or corrupted… or killed. She had been worried about a lot of things—she felt like she had lost her only friend and an opportunity for something more. Now what she had wanted most of all was coming true. She could scarcely comprehend it all in the warmth of Draco's embrace.

He kissed her lids and cheeks, face and ears and neck. "Thank you Pansy," he whispered looking deeply into her eyes. "I wouldn't be here without you."

_Damn it._ He was going to make her cry. So she hugged him tightly and dried her eyes so he wouldn't see. She pulled back and he caressed her face with his thumbs just looking at her.

"I need to talk about last night, Pansy."

"You don't have to…"

"No! I want to. I didn't even use the portkey, Pansy. I didn't show up at all. I saw Hermione."

"You WHAT?!"

"I apparated to Muggle London and just…"

Pansy grabbed his hand and dragged him down the hall to the Gryffindor Portrait Hole. "Come on!" He nearly had to chase her to Gryffindor and she hadn't let go of his arm yet. "Why in the hell didn't you wake me last night?"

Pansy charmed her clasp right in front of the Fat Lady. Soon Ron, Ginny, and Harry were at the door.

"Let us in," Pansy asked Ginny, still out of breath.

"No way we're letting Malfoy in, even if you are all chummy," Ron snapped.

"We can go to the Room of Requirement, but I'd prefer not to wait _Ron_. Draco has new information on Hermione," Pansy said in a rush.

Ginny and Pansy had talked about the Mark. It couldn't have happened, otherwise Pansy wouldn't have brought him.

"It's alright Draco, you can come in," said Ginny firmly, glaring at Ron.

"Are you mad? He's a…"

Ginny cut Ron off. "Ronald Weasley," Ginny hissed in her mother's best reproachful tone. "Any friend of Pansy's is a friend of mine. This is important so you will pay attention to your sister!"

Ron gulped. Ginny had her wand out, and she had put it to good use before. There were precedents.

Harry gestured him in but then changed his mind. "Wait. We do need to go to the fifth floor. We can't meet secretly here. Someone will notice and tell."

"Tell what?" Ron asked. "It's okay here! All Gryffindors."

"No Ron, it's _not_ okay for _Draco_ here." Harry's eyes met Draco's. "If Draco is seen here it could cause problems for him in Slytherin."

Draco nodded and agreed, thankful that Harry would think to consider it. They all ran for the fifth floor in record time.

"Damn! Does it have to be so bloody far?" Ron said, out of breath.

They all entered and sat in a circle on the couches provided.

"Hermione's okay. I saw her last night working as a bartender in a Muggle bar."

"A bartender? B-but… but… Hermione can't…"

Draco ignored Ron and pressed on, "She'd been working in a place called _The Shot_ in London for three weeks under the name Kate Evans."

Harry smiled at her choice of last name.

"She thought you'd like that," Draco said.

"How did you find her Malfoy?" Ron asked angrily, still distrustful of the blonde menace. He was also a bit jealous that Draco had the opportunity to see his dear friend, and then fail to bring her back to safety.

"Yesterday was my seventeenth birthday. My father set it up for me to take the Mark and I refused…"

"You didn't actually refuse…" Pansy interjected.

"Well, you could say I voted with my feet," Draco said creatively.

"So you ran like hell," Harry concluded.

"Exactly." Draco smiled. "I got my apparation license and I apparated to London. I hailed a cab and asked the driver to take me to a popular club, really anywhere. He drove me around for thirty minutes and then I got up and went into The Shot."

"That's too much of a coincidence," Ron said narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"That's not the _whole _story is it?" Harry agreed.

Draco sighed and confessed everything, wincing again at the part where he mis-apparated. He talked about her job and who she worked with, questions she asked and how she missed them, but was adamant about not coming back.

"I bet Professor Trelawney would have something to say about how you just 'happened' to stumble on her," Ginny said.

"Of course she'll claim she knows what you'll have for breakfast tomorrow too," Draco rolled his eyes.

"What happened next, Draco?" Ron said.

_So Draco now is it?_ "She got on the back of a motorcycle, and the bouncer at the club drove her off somewhere. I don't know where."

"We still don't know where she is?!" Ron's hands flew up in the hair in a grand gesture. "That's just bloody great! Some help you were!"

"She's dead set on not coming back, Weasley. I'm serious. She has gone through a lot of trouble to hide and now, thanks to me she has to start all over again." Draco wasn't happy with that. He felt it was his fault he put her in danger. She appeared to be well safe at the bar without him before his father came looking for him, though she didn't seem quite stable.

Harry looked at Draco to size him up and could tell he meant what he said. "What are you going to do now?" Harry asked. Draco was surprised at the change of topic and Ron was still preoccupied with Hermione to be concerned with Draco's issue. Ginny noticed that Harry was starting to see the larger picture now. Soon they would be graduated and would no longer be inter-House rivals but wizards fighting on the side of light or dark.

"Dumbledore is going to help me. If my father tries to come for me, I may have to go suddenly. I won't be leaving with my father." Draco's voice was steel.

"That's difficult. Dumbledore is a great wizard. If that's what he said, he'll do whatever it takes to help you," Harry said.

Ginny nodded. Draco didn't need the reassurance that Dumbledore was a man of his word, but he appreciated it.

"Draco, you have been a completed prick to us over the years," Ginny said outright. "But I'm willing to put our differences aside if you are." Ginny stuck out her hand to shake on it.

Draco was completely taken aback by Ginny's offer, surprised after the all the curses and insults to her family that she would ever forgive him. He shook her hand and Ron huffed at his sister.

"Same for me Draco," said Harry. "If you need anything, I'll help you. I'm glad you didn't join." Harry shook Draco's hand also.

Ron was miffed, and felt obligated to follow suit. He wasn't quite ready to put all the slugs, hexes, organized mockery, and bigoted insults toward Hermione behind him.

"How 'bout it Weasley?" Draco was first to extend the olive branch. Ron shook it finally, but still didn't trust him.

It wasn't a friendship per se. It was more of a respectful tolerance. Friendship would have to be earned, but they had time.

-----------------

Draco invited Pansy to their nook in the maze for lunch, having finally resolved their differences. After some quiet conversation, Draco lifted his hand to her cheek and pick up where he left off that morning. He leaned in to kiss her, stopping halfway to her face. "You have no idea…" he murmured, looking deeply into her eyes.

"What?" she asked in a little whisper.

"You have no idea how much you've done for me," he breathed. "If it weren't for you…" he stopped to swallow. "Thank you." He kissed her tenderly and all sound around them was extinguished. Nothing existed except the sensations of their kiss.

It was divine, a youthful innocence about them that they had both been denied. Too much drama, too much heartache and not enough joy. They were reclaiming it now by the tuberoses.

Their kissing continued well into the afternoon, both losing track of time. Each kiss was delicate and well meant. There was no desperation in their movements, no clumsy groping. No undressing. Every action had a deliberate purpose. Pansy kissed his face and neck, each eye and brow above it, his hands and each of his fingertips. Draco sighed and gazed at her with kind caring eyes, so grateful that he had a second chance. He cradled her in his arms, not wanting the moment to end. They felt connected.

Not terribly far from the Slytherin couple, a pair of young Gryffindors were making good on a promise.

"I can't wait any longer," Ginny sighed into Harry's mouth between kisses.

"Three months is a long enough cooling off period, don't you think?" Harry suggested.

"Definitely," she said on breath.

Ginny's desire had subsided completely since their first sexual encounter. She became preoccupied with her OWLS and worry for Hermione. Harry also had a lot on his mind. They were still intimate but hadn't taken it to that next level yet, either due to interruptions or bad timing. The school setting wasn't very conducive to lovemaking. It was tempting to have sex for the experience of it, but they had also wanted to wait for the right moment. They wanted to make love as they would have had the spell not interfered.

They longed to do so. And now with so much behind them and news of Hermione's recent safety they had some peace of mind, and a quiet afternoon before them. It had been difficult to wait. They enjoyed each other slowly, tenderly making the most of each touch and caress.

"I love you so much Harry." Tears streamed down her face from the release though she couldn't understand why. She didn't feel sad at all.

Harry reached up to brush hair out of her face and kissed her deeply. "Thank you Ginny," he said pressing his forehead to hers. "Thank you so much. You are the most special person in my life, the most important. I don't deserve you…"

"Don't say that Harry…"

"I love you Ginny, so much…" his voice trailed off and moved to kiss her again but his expression changed from bliss to one of puzzlement when he noticed something different about her.

"What's the matter, Harry?"

Harry's brow furrowed, "Ginny, these weren't here a minute ago." He rolled off of her and held out her arms. "What does this mean?"

She looked down at what should've been clear white flesh and found her forearms covered in Latin with the same grease marker she and Pansy had used to perform the desire spell at the Order meeting. "Oh my God."

"What does it mean?" Harry insisted.

"I have to go see Dumbledore right now!" Ginny barked, pushing herself off the bed, and throwing on her clothes. "This can't be good…" she muttered as Harry pulled on his jeans. They cleaned up quickly and Ginny remembered to pull a comb through her hair before they left the Room of Requirement.

"That's the spell that you did to try and find Hermione, isn't it?"

"Um… sort of… It really wasn't a location spell, it was more like a desire spell." Ginny really hadn't related the entire episode of the Order meeting.

"Another desire spell? What— did it rebound on you or something? Are you feeling okay?" Harry asked. The whole purpose of them waiting was that Ginny wasn't under the influence of a spell, but she seemed calm and collected.

"I feel fine Harry, no different! This isn't about me," she huffed. "Now get your map and find Pansy!" She slipped on her shoes and left the fifth floor in a dead run.

Harry unfolded his father's map and saw Draco and Pansy in the labyrinth. _Damn, they would have to be on other side of school grounds._ He ran as fast as he could, nearly colliding with a grouping of first years. "Sorry," he called out over his shoulder as he descended the front steps. As Harry rounded the corner of the school he could see Draco and Pansy walking hand in hand out of the maze.

"Pansy!" he called out.

Pansy quickened her pace alongside Draco and released his hand. "Harry? What is it?"

"Pull up your sleeve," Harry urged with his hands.

Pansy looked a little put out, as if the Dark Mark would magically appear on her arm or something. She pulled up her robe and saw the Latin written all over her arm. "Oh no…"

Draco looked shocked. "What is that? That wasn't there a minute ago."

"Gotta go!" Pansy peeled out and raced up the stairs to Dumbledore's office. Draco and Harry ran after her. She met up with a panting Ginny in the hallway outside of Dumbledore's office.

"Oh shit," Pansy said seeing Ginny's arm. The gargoyle swung open automatically as if expecting them. They ran up the steps, leaving Draco and Harry locked out in the hall.

Harry kicked the wall in fury. He hated being left out. All this time he'd been looking for Hermione. Why was he out on the hall and not upstairs?

"Relax Potter. It's not like they hadn't left us out all last year. I figure they can handle at least some stuff without our help. Did you know about that Latin writing?"

"No. Not much, just that Pansy and Ginny tried to use some additional spell to try and locate Hermione. It didn't work."

"What kind of spell?" Draco asked.

"A spell of desire."

"What? Again? Are they nuts? I thought Pansy said she'd never do that again as long as she lived?!"

"Ginny said the same thing. Bloody stupid," Harry said.

"You're telling me. So what happened?" Draco asked.

"They got to see her a few weeks ago but they couldn't find her. Maybe they'll be able to find her now."

"Well, better late than never," Draco said. He had just seen her two nights ago, maybe there was some hope.

Harry hoped he was right. They sat on the floor outside of Dumbledore's office to wait.

-----------------

The bar was quiet except for the woman at the keys. The bartender was watching her intently; surprised she had drawn so many customers in just a few hours. He had done more business than usual and for once maybe the pub might earn more than the lodging brought in. The stools at the bar were empty save one, where one gentleman watched the songbird from a distance, captivated by her voice and youthful beauty.

If the piano had been a man, he would have been sore, satisfied and flat by now. Several hours passed as Hermione pounded out her frustrated feelings on helpless keys. She channeled all of her emotions through her fingertips to the ivories as she played with intense passion.

Finally she belted out the familiar chords…

_"And oh!__ And God knows, that you're standing on your own, _

_Blind and unguided in to a world divided, _

_you're__ thrown, where you're never quite the same, _

_although__ you try, and try to tell yourself you really are _

_but__ in your heart uncertainty forever lies…._

_And you'll always be… _

_somewhere__ on the… _

_Outside…"_

She stopped playing to wipe her tears. And heard clapping. She was completely oblivious to the small crowd who had gathered about her, who entered the bar to hear her play. Mind you, it was only ten people—but for The Ale House that was record numbers.

Hermione took a sip of her milder beverage of wine, returned it to her napkin and rubbed her forehead, still unable to rid herself of the constant yearning within her. No more whiskey. It didn't help anyway, and she needed her wits about her. She saw Jason by the bar, who raised his glass to toast her and she nodded offering a sweet smile.

For all of her playing Hermione had not purged a single shred of desire. All of the last four hours had been consumed by thoughts of Severus. Skin and heat and sweat and straining. She couldn't help it. Masturbation wasn't doing it anymore for her— never really had in the first place. She licked her lower lip and unconsciously brought her hand up to her throat, raking her nails down her neck— a little too slowly to be considered a simple itch. She realized what she was doing and took another long sip of wine.

Hermione Granger was _desperate. _

And altogether completely unaware that people were watching her every move.

Snape tried to keep an unreadable expression as he heard her play. Through the mirror, she could be heard as clearly as if she had sung right beside him. It was hard to keep a straight face— such notes made one's face become longer and thoughtful, tasting each chord and savoring the feelings inspired by them. He had long since stopped looking for the details in the bar that could suggest her location, as there were none. She sang the song she'd sung before, but it sounded different now. _She_ was different now, and though he saw the pain in Hermione's face there was something just beautifully raw about her, primal which had trapped every person in that room and himself as well.

As Pansy and Ginny entered they could see Professor Snape and Professor Dumbledore were already peering into the mirror they had used at Headquarters.

"Miss Weasley, Miss Parkinson, you have very good timing," Dumbledore said.

"You can see her?" Pansy asked, taking a space beside the Headmaster.

"Yes, for a few minutes now she's been coming in quiet clearly…" Dumbledore said. Snape said nothing, transfixed by the scene before him.

"Well it's no wonder you can see her," Ginny said. "Just look at this!" She and Pansy thrust out their arms to show the professors.

Snape turned to read the words written over and over, seeing as slowly more words began to repeat on their arms as time passed.

_CupiditasLibidoFamesCupiditasLibidoFamesCupiditasLibidoFamesCupiditasLibidoFames _

_CupiditasLibidoFamesCupiditasLibidoFamesCupiditasLibidoFamesCupiditasLibidoFames _

_CupiditasLibidoFamesCupiditasLibidoFamesCupiditasLibidoFamesCupiditasLibidoFames _

"Oh my," Dumbledore said. "You must still have some ties to her."

"Why is that? The spell ended didn't it?" Pansy asked.

"Yes, that would seem a logical conclusion, hmm? The spell at Headquarters was interrupted, not really ended— And since you used some of the magic from the spell you did at the Yule Ball to connect with her along with your blood, I can only suppose that is why the spell continues to communicate with us her most desperate desires." Dumbledore gestured to the Latin inscriptions covering their skin.

Ginny and Pansy looked at their arms and back to the mirror. There Hermione was, playing the piano in the pub. The crowd around her was dissipating.

"But she looks fine, how can she be desperate?"

"Miss Weasley, despite appearances I am quite sure that Miss Granger is not fine," Snape said harshly. Snape had hung on every note of her impassioned performance, each note a painful one— a sign of unfulfilled heartache and pain. He felt sympathy for her, and wished she would now return to the safety of Hogwarts.

"Ginny, her desire has probably been increasing since the spell. If that's possible. Have you seen the pentacle today? It's so bright it's casting a bright blue reflection under all of the students now." Pansy explained. Ginny had been out of pocket all day. She had missed the new surge.

"Magic has a way of making sure things happen, Miss Weasley," Dumbledore instructed over his spectacles. "The spell isn't complete and in this world, magic always searches for the simplest order."

_'Great, I'll never forget to read fine print again_,' thought Ginny.

They watched as Hermione took another sip of her drink, shifted a bit in her seat and then stood intimately close to the older man in front of her.

Anger rolled beneath Snape's skin when Hermione's lips brushed the man's cheek and whispered to him. The man responded, placing his hand on her shoulder, whispering back into her ear. Snape gritted his teeth and attempted to remain still. Dumbledore himself was unable to suppress a supreme look of irritation at the scene, and noticed how similarly Snape felt at the sight despite his stoic expression.

No one knew what words were exchanged. But they could guess. Everyone gasped at what Hermione did next. Snape clenched his knuckles until they were white as Hermione slipped her room key into the gentleman's pocket. She walked to the stairs and the man followed closely behind her as she led him to her room.

"How could she do that?!" Snape could not contain his resentment any longer. "There is no way that man is the object of her desire. He must be three times her age!"

Pansy addressed Snape immediately. "Professor Snape— it…does…not…matter." Snape looked at her, puzzled by her statement. She repeated herself. "Truly, as bizarre as it seems to you, it doesn't matter who it is or how old he is. Look at her. I bet she would do anything or anyone at this moment to rid her self of some of this," she gestured to the tattooing on her arm. "She must be _miserable_."

Ginny and Pansy stood close by one another as they watched the scene unfold. The tension in Dumbledore's office was terribly uncomfortable. They recognized that look. Ginny and Pansy's faces held the same expression in January, with the exception that Hermione had no outlet.

----------------------

Jason had been watching her all night. She played and sang beautifully, with so much passion. She made eye contact with him frequently and trembled when she came over to him and touched his arm to lean in and speak.

She needed him, and Jason wanted to feel needed. She was far too young for him, but found she was wholly unconcerned by it. She craved attention, timid yet so forward when asking him to be gentle with her. Perhaps that is why she had picked a man of his age, instead of the obviously younger men here this evening hanging onto her every note. He would be more patient than those blustering clumsy fools. He could do that.

Jason reached past Hermione's waist to reach the lock, resting his left hand on her hip. Hermione felt a little apprehensive as Jason turned the key in her hotel room door. She turned out of his embrace and flipped the light switch off. Neon streetlights streamed in her window, casting strange shadows on the floor.

With his dark brown eyes, Jason stared at her for a moment, his thumb caressing her cheek, outlining the cheekbone there. Hermione leaned in slowly and kissed him on the cheek, avoiding his gaze— both too much and too little like that of Severus. She rested her cheek against his, breathing in his ear as he kissed her neck in return. It was awkward and her heart raced, and nerve endings tingled as her desire began to ebb.

Jason placed his right hand on her left shoulder, pulling the shirt downward slowly exposing more flesh on her neck. He kissed her on the mouth and to people on the other side of the mirror it appeared passionate enough, though nothing could be further from the truth.

"Hermione you can't do this," Pansy said as if Hermione could hear her. "This won't fix anything. You'll just feel worse."

"I'm afraid you're right Miss Parkinson. The only way she can end this is by confronting the object of her desire," said Dumbledore sadly. '_Why wouldn't she return? Surely this was so much more difficult to endure than returning,' Dumbledore thought._

All of them were transfixed on the scene in the mirror.

Snape couldn't take his eyes off of Hermione, though he wanted to bolt from the room. It was agonizing to see another man touch her, while Hermione seemed only partially interested. The age of the man in the room with her reminded him painfully of his own feelings and age difference. Hermione was desperate, but this experience for her which should be pleasurable looked like something she had to endure instead of enjoy.

Ginny knew Hermione's expression. She had been there. But her passivity just didn't look right. '_How could Hermione keep resisting? Maybe if it was who she loved, it would be different_,' Ginny thought. If it had been the object of her desire, Hermione would be completely out of control.

Jason kissed her neck slowly, delicately, not pushing. Hermione kept her arms down, wanting more but also too paralyzed to do anything about it. He hit a sensitive spot on her neck and threw her head back with a soft moan, that communicated both pleasure and frustrated regret. _This is wrong, this is wrong…_

Jason held his body close to her, pressing himself to her against the wall. He reached up to her face to kiss her again, and Hermione raised her hand to grasp his.

"Jason," she said, pushing him back a bit. "I can't… I can't do this," she sighed. She looked at him, the broken man who made a habit of this in grieving for his wife. Hermione felt sickened by what she had been about to do, her stomach clenching tightly. "I'm sorry," she whispered tenderly. "You've been such a gentleman."

Jason looked at her with wonder, and then straightened with the maturity of his years on his face. "Hermione. You are a lovely young woman, and stronger than I have been. I'm just not him, am I?"

She gave a slight shake of her head. _That hurt. Of all people she knew she couldn't replace it was Severus. What she was trying to do was rid herself of some desire, and it worked, just briefly._ She kissed him platonically on the cheek. "Thank you," she whispered, and exited the room.

Hermione fled down the steps toward the bar, her desire replaced with the pain of four months of running. In the side hallway across from the cigarette vending machine she slumped against the wall with noiseless crying. She rubbed her eyes, and then ran fingers nervously through her hair. _What are you doing? If you went back now how would you begin to explain?_

She rummaged in her bag for a Kleenex and brushed against her rosary beads. She could've burst into tears but instead stuffed it inside, grabbing her bag and running out the door to the street.

"TAXI!"

She needed guidance.

----------------

Snape's teeth clenched in fury when witnessing that man groping Hermione. They had shared a whispered conversation, though he couldn't make out what was said. At first, when she used his first name he thought that perhaps it wasn't the first time they had been together. Hermione' refusal of him made Snape relax a little, and he sympathized for her in seeing her struggle with what she had to do. Inside he was screaming, '_Foolish girl! Come back!'_

Pansy has just spotted the name of the pub when Hermione left to hail the cab, but she left so quickly the information was useless if she didn't stay.

Ginny and Pansy had been so very focused on the mirror, they had not noticed the Latin words traveling farther up their arms.

"Merlin, help us! Look!" Ginny cried, pointing to Pansy's neck.

She pulled down her collar and the tiny words had covered both sides of their arms up to their neck.

"Poor Hermione. I hope she comes back soon. I don't know how she can stand this." Pansy said.

"Shhh! Be quiet, damn it!" Snape hissed. But it was too late, their chattering had overtaken Hermione's request to the driver of the cab. They had no destination and the cab was in motion. _Bugger all!_

Hermione doubled over halfway through the ride, her abdomen tightening painfully. Her eyes widened and she was unable to suppress a cry of anguished pleasure. "Aah…" She sucked in a sharp breath and groaned.

"Are you alright back there?" The cab driver asked.

"Yes," she hissed. "Just drive."

Something was not right, definitely not right. Severus felt something in the pit of his stomach at that moment and wondered if in some way it was related to his connection with her. He resisted the urge to clutch at his middle, uncomfortable in present company.

They waited for thirty minutes, still recognizing plenty of London's landmarks, however still could not deduce her destination. The cab came to a stop and Hermione paid the driver, bolting from the cab to a side door where one of the janitorial staff was leaving for the night.

------------

"Oh Gods finally! St. Peter's Cathedral!" Snape hastily pushed past the two girls for the door.

Dumbledore sighed relief. "Stay, Severus. Stay."

"What are you talking about?" He asked whipping his head around.

"She is safe there. She will come home now." Dumbledore said with confidence and relaxed into his chair.

Pansy and Ginny watched the interplay and were relieved that Snape was actually going to do something about their missing friend. _How could Dumbledore look so comfortable?_

"Safe? When has Hermione ever been safe?!"

"Severus… Stop."

But he didn't stop— Severus knew Dumbledore had truly lost it. "You're out of your mind! I'm not going to make the same mistake twice. We should've brought her back when Remus had the opportunity. I'm leaving!" he growled angrily and stormed from the office, ignoring Harry and Draco at the foot of the steps.

The gargoyle closed behind him, infuriating Harry and Draco further. Shut out again.

Dumbledore was powerless to argue with such a driven man. Snape was determined to make up for the failures of his youth. He would risk everything for her.

Snape ran to the edge of the grounds and disapparated to London. Quickly he hid behind a bush, seeing that he wasn't the only one watching the Cathedral grounds. _See Albus! I was right to come._

He could not mistake the form of a fellow Death Eater in the bushes not far from the entrance. He became doubly cautious when he caught a glimpse of the distinctive silver wand sheath of none other than Lucius Malfoy. _Bloody hell._

---------

"Wait! Wait!" Hermione said out of breath. "Is Sister Mary Barrone still here? It's an emergency!"

"Yes, ma'am. She's in the music room, last door on your right." He shook his head, seeing many women seek her out late at night. Sister Mary helped a lot of young women in trouble. It wasn't the first time he had let a woman in to see her.

He let her pass, and Hermione raced down the hallway, half sliding on a newly mopped floor and colliding with Father Renard.

"I'm sorry," Hermione stopped. "I came to speak with Sister Mary."

"She's right in there," he said brusquely. "We lock up soon."

Hermione resisted the urge to glare. He'd never been a very approachable man. "I won't be long."

She opened the door and Sister Mary was waiting for her, arms outstretched. Hermione walked to her, flung her arms around her and wept.

"I heard you, child. I have been so worried about you. Are you alright?" the elderly woman asked.

Hermione shook her head. "No. I messed up," she confessed in a shuddered whisper.

"We all make mistakes dear." Sister Mary rubbed her back.

"Not like this," Hermione huffed in frustration. She longed to tell the whole story and wondered how much Sister Mary could handle. Sister Mary led her to the couch and sat together.

"What happened? Last summer, I believe you were asking me about premarital sex. Was I mistaken?"

Hermione gasped. She didn't miss much. "That was a _small_ part of it."

"And you ran away from your boarding school last Christmas?" Sister Mary stated.

"How do you know all of this?" Hermione's brow furrowed. _Did Harry come here too? If so, maybe people were watching?_ She started to look around nervously.

"I know dear. I know. When was the last time you prayed?" Sister Mary asked.

Hermione choked back a sob. "Nearly four weeks ago. I don't know why I waited."

"It's difficult sometimes to ask for help when we need it most," she patted her hand. "When you prayed, had you already made up your mind not to return or did you leave it up to Him to decide what was best for you?"

"Are you telling me to go back?" Hermione pulled back defensively.

"No, child. I asked you if you truly listened for God's advice on the matter. Did you do what was _easy_ or what was _right_?"

Hermione thought about it for a moment. _She didn't know the whole thing. How could she?_ That would change matters.

Sister Mary read her thoughts before they were spoken. "Hermione, I don't claim to know what you've been through. And it's not for me to decide if you should return or not. It is up to God. And you have not _truly_ asked for his intervention. He will not refuse you."

_Why did she have to put it like that?_ With a few words she felt comforted. _God will not refuse me. Does it matter if Severus does? And if he did reject me, could I handle it?_

Hermione blurted everything out. "I fell in love with someone at school. But I can't talk to him. He's… it's not right. He couldn't… he wouldn't be receptive."

"It seems you painted yourself into quite a corner."

"You can say that again."

"After four months, do you think the paint is dry?"

Hermione sighed in defeat. "It won't work."

"I see. And did you ask him this?"

Hermione groaned. "No."

"Then how can you know for sure what his answer will be? Do you always know best?" She lectured.

Hermione shook her head.

"Are you clairvoyant?" Sister Mary taunted.

Hermione snorted.

"Well then my dear. I think you know what you need to do. You always knew, I think. There are different ways of knowing of course. And prayer is _one _way of getting there." Sister Mary patted her hand, comforting the woman beside her.

"It's so complicated," Hermione said with an ache in her heart.

"Love always is. But God has a way of uncomplicating things. We make things so difficult sometimes." Hermione could only nod. "I think it's time to take the road less traveled, dear." Sister Mary looked right into her soul, and Hermione could almost sense that she knew the innermost workings of her heart, could understand the long struggle within herself to master her feelings.

"And what road is that?" She asked with a half-hearted laugh. Hermione's decisions weren't coming too easily lately, and she was running out of options. She needed things spelled out for her— that's why she came to Sister Mary in the first place.

"Tell him that you love him."

Hermione gasped. "You're joking. I c-can't do that."

Hermione's mind raced with her thoughts of Severus, and how best to keep him safe. She had been such a coward, not telling him. Her heart ached, knowing that Harry, Ron, Ginny and Pansy wouldn't understand. And that she wouldn't be able to explain to Severus her reasons why she hadn't told him four months ago. Dumbledore would be furious.

After her talk with Sister Mary she knew what she had to do. She had in essence been wandering with no direction except how to avoid the inevitable. She couldn't wait any longer, she couldn't keep moving and changing jobs and identities. Severus faced danger every day in his work as a spy. _'God, Hermione?'_ She scolded herself. '_How could you just shut her eyes and hope for the best?'_

"Thank you. I know what I need to do now." Hermione straightened her back nervously and braced herself to go out and confront her fear. She would lay it all out on the line. She would tell him, and promptly have her heart pounded into a fine powder and brewed. She was scared to death, but she'd do it.

Sister Mary prepared to continue her comfort of Hermione and return her to Hogwarts where she would be safe. _She will make the right decision now_, she knew it. But she was interrupted by the sound of heavy footsteps echoing down the hall and those footsteps did not belong to Father Renard. "Go now, you must leave!" Sister Mary pulled the wand from her sleeve and Hermione gasped in shock.

"All this time? You were a witch?" Hermione had no clue. The nun understood more than she let on. If they had the time Hermione would have really read her the riot act. She could've done with a good dose of guidance from a Catholic witch when she was eleven. Instead her parents had to guide her through that difficult reconciliation of religious doctrines and the view that her magical ability was a gift instead of a curse. No time for discussion now, Hermione had a new mission and someone was rapidly approaching.

"Go. I'll take care of him." Sister Mary's voice was calm and assured, almost light and completely unafraid.

Hermione opened the window and climbed out. She ran, searching for a bush to lay low in, just to make sure that Sister Mary would be alright. She wondered how old she was, and found it difficult to reach into her pocket for the portkey to freedom while squatting on the ground.

-----------

Sister Mary held her wand behind her and waited for him to enter. Lucius Malfoy opened the door dramatically and without preamble, raised his wand to cast.

Sister Mary of course, was way ahead of him. Lucius did not even have time to utter the first syllable.

"Securitas…" And Malfoy collapsed in a heap on the floor with a silly look of contentment on his face. His wand fell from his grasp to the floor, of no use to him now. He looked at Sister Barrone in shock, a look of joy shown on his face, utterly unable to cast, swear or curse.

"Peace be with you, Mister Malfoy," she said with a hint of sarcasm.

Snape slinked down the hall a few doors at a time until at last he approached the music room. He heard a slumping, and when he opened the door, saw Lucius Malfoy passed out on the floor with a look of tranquility on his face. The window had been thrown open and a dove was perched there. He watched as she stretched her wings and flew off into the night.

Snape followed her out the window, curious if Hermione had taken the same exit. He heard a startled cry and watched as two cloaked Death Eaters kidnapped her, disapparating with a loud crack. Snape looked on in shock, too late to help her.Snape fought the urge to panic and scream in outrage.He swallowed his anger instead, using it for fuel.Apparating back to Hogwarts, he longed to see her image in the mirror again, to see which of the Death Eatersdared touch her.

When he returned to Dumbledore's office four students and Albus were looking horribly disappointed.

"I'm sorry, Severus," Albus said. "We can't see her any longer."

"Why can't you see her?" Snape said in a panic, looking at the blank mirror. She was gone. How could she disappear?

"Because she's no longer desperate, Severus." Dumbledore stated the obvious. "She may have wanted this to happen."

"How can you say that?! Why couldn't you get her?!" Harry yelled at Snape.

"She had already left before I came. I had to be discreet, Lucius was there." Snape said

"He was?" Draco asked. "We didn't see him. It looked like two others took her, but their hoods were up, we couldn't see." Pansy and Ginny nodded, their lips mashed to thin lines of worry.

"There is nothing more we can do now. I will have people stay to watch the mirror. You should all go to dinner. Rest assured, I will contact you if she appears," Dumbledore said, attempting to pacify the worried students.

The students and left grumbling— especially Harry, who was being comforted by Ginny. Pansy tried to pull up her collar to cover the words, and gave up. She resigned to the knowledge that they would be there until Hermione fixed it. Draco couldn't help but stare at the words of desire written all over her hand, arm and neck.

There was a pecking at Dumbledore's window and he left to open it. In flew the dove, who landed and transformed into Sister Mary Barrone.

"Is she here? Did she make it?" she asked.

Dumbledore twinkled sweetly at his old friend and held sadness in them as well. "My dear Mary," he began in a raspy voice. "Miss Granger has been taken."

Sister Mary's own eyes filled with unshed tears and worry for the girl. She had looked after Hermione for months periodically since last summer, and could no longer find her after she left the caves. She thought on their conversations, Hermione's confessions and her prayers. Looking at Severus, he truly was the only person there would could help her. But it wasn't in her place to interfere. God always had a plan, and she wasn't always privy to it. Sister Mary Barrone made up her mind that her best course of action was to pray.

Snape could kick himself. No wonder Sister Mary could see him last summer in the cathedral when he was trying to remain concealed. No wonder Dumbledore thought Hermione was safe at the church. But even divine intervention was not protecting Hermione.

-----------

When Hermione climbed out the back window of the church, she left with the intention of no longer hiding. From the bushes she shifted to a standing position to retrieve the locket wedged in her jeans pocket but didn't get the chance to activate it. A man jumped out from behind her clamping a hand over her mouth and wand arm. She dropped her wand reflexively and another man snatched it, snapping it cleanly in half.

_Oh shit._

They disapparated and she opened her eyes to see an empty, dank stone room with damp walls. It reminded her of the cave. She was probably in someone's dungeons.

She heard behind her, "Good vurk."

When both men turned to face her she saw their cowardly silver masks and long black robes. Angrily, she couldn't resist but to see who her captors were. She reached for the nearest one to her, swiping off his mask.

_Oh God. You. No._

**Author's Notes:**

Thank you for your patience in waiting for the next chapter. Many thanks to MA and Keket Amunet for their valuable time and contributions in making suggestions and looking for the flaws and gaps, and grammar issues which have plagued my drafts!

So close to home and kidnapped! Stay tuned, when finally in the next chapter Hermione and Snape come face to face. (I know you will ask, if Hermione is so desperate, why can't she be seen in the mirror anymore? Her fear had completely overtaken that for the moment and that will be explained next chapter.)

The Road Less Traveled was a religious book published in the 1980's. It is also a reference to a Robert Frost poem.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveler, long I stood  
And looked down one as far as I could  
To where it bent in the undergrowth;  
Then took the other, as just as fair,  
And having perhaps the better claim,  
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;  
Though as for that the passing there  
Had worn them really about the same,  
And both that morning equally lay  
In leaves no step had trodden black.  
Oh, I kept the first for another day!  
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,  
I doubted if I should ever come back.  
I shall be telling this with a sigh  
Somewhere ages and ages hence:  
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-  
I took the one less traveled by,  
And that has made all the difference.

From the Latin the three different words for desire mean:

_Cupiditas_- eager desire, passionate longing

_Fames_- hunger, famine, insatiable desire

_Libido_- violent desire, longing, immoderate passion, lust

_Securitas_ means- freedom from care; **peace** of mind , composure; carelessness, false confidence.

As always I welcome criticism from readers and encourage you to let er rip and let me know what went well, or what you felt was missing.

In addition, I wanted to recommend a fic I recently came across on ashwinder, called The Coven, by deblovesdragons. It's also has components of virginal magic and super content about Wicca.

Laicamiel- Hey! Thank you for your thoughtful review. Snape recognized Hermione's intelligence, but still managed to only tolerate her. The affection last summer was pretty one sided. I think while the SOS were practicing the spell, I had mentioned in an A/N before that adults, teachers with moral/ethical boundaries managed not to notice/act on attraction to the girls, of course hormonal teenagers had no prayer of restraint. Of course they spent most of their times around peers, not teachers. Snape's current interest for Hermione has developed out of natural desire and desire to protect her form harm. Once the Yule Ball was over, notice Harry and Draco had to be the ones to help pace their partners down when consummating things. After the spell was cast, all of the girls (except three were free of their desire) and all of the surrounding population exempt from their lure. Draco now has an emergency portkey, and had the protection of Hogwarts and Dumbledore to help him. Of course Lucius would be supremely stupid to go there, but hey! He just might rise to the occasion. You may have to wait one more chapter to really see Snape's head. Wait 'til he tries to see about her! Thanks again for reading!!!

anon- Hey, just got your review after I read the Coven. I stumbled on it at ashwinder last week in the 'recently added' after she updated. But the twenty girls losing their virginity to Hogwarts is the plot of The Twenty. Deblovesdrangons has five members in a coven who plan something totally different. I love her Wiccan elements. A truly awesome fic. Can't wait for chapter nine.

artemisgirl- Thank you for reading! It takes me a long time to format properly for ashwinder, so that will be a slow process. Funny your divine intervention comment, cause she got it in this chapter and she still got kidnapped. Ah well. Severus would have no way of knowing that Buckwheat could reach her, and Buckwheat only happened on her because stealth owl stalked his way to Hogwarts through the Forbidden Forest and worked backwards. So we will just have to devise a different way for Snape to find out. Hope the cliffie keeps to hanging!

Pandora Nervosa- Thank you! No life stress I promise. My third year anniversary with my husband was last Wed and we went out of town the previous week. All good over here, no strife. But it did take awhile to tweek this chapter. Half of the next two are drafted and are being rewritten (over and over). Pressure to live up to the build up is stressful! Thank you for reading!

Neva- I did post at ashwinder, but the formatting has been problematic. I will post a few chapters at a time and may rewrite sections. Thank you for your review. As for other work, The Burden of Sight is the other fic in progress right now. After I finish the Twenty, I am going to have to dedicate significant time to quilting before Christmas. Thank you for your review!

Whizbees- I'm here! I'm here! I swear I'll update as fast as I can, but need to correct the chapters so you can protect your virgin eyes from reading garbage! Their instead of there, etc. I tried to e-mail you, but for some reason your link on wouldn't show me your e-mail address.

HazyDayClearNight- Thank you! Here's the new chapter, hope you enjoy along with a delicious cliffie.

Lyress- Here is your update! Is the woodpecker tired yet? Don't go insane. Here is a nice long chapter.

magictwinkle- Thank you for your review! Enjoy, and hope to have a new chapter posted in a week, approximately.

tjstein- Thank you for your review! Let me know what you think should happen, or who you would like to see more of!

EnterTheUnderrealms- Oh my God, you printed it?! Damn. My husband practically swears every time I print out a single chapter so I can edit on the bus. "You're using too much paper," he whines. Honestly. I made up a lot of stuff and some of the Power of the innocent was stuff I ref-ed on the web and cited quotes in Author's Notes. There was a website on menstruation and had lots of other tidbits from my background in social work, women's literature. Theories about virginal power are largely made up, but think of what you're capable of doing when you completely connect with your inner strength. And you can connect with your femaleness without being angry with men (however a certain amount of frustration at the inequities in the world are quite healthy and motivate us to act.) Girl power! Not a genius— everything I learned, I learned form other women. Smiles!

Mego- Thank you for your review, appreciate the complement!

Heather- Thank you very much. The reviews have been very supportive and after I get back to my quilting projects, I fully intend to write original stuff, though it may provide me no more joy than to sit on a shelf unpublished. The act of writing this itself has been fulfilling. Thank you for your review and encouragement.

Aicho- Thank you for your review. Unfortunately our dear heroine had to be kidnapped before she could come clean with Dumbledore and Snape. Hope to keep the suspense going!

leolover- Argh! Another cliffhanger. Hee hee. Love to keep you guessing.

crissy- Too late again! Hope you enjoy.

The Perfectionist- Thank you for your persistence. Hope your Saturday reading doesn't disappoint!

Slytherin Goddess- Eight hours! Good grief! Thank you for your attention. I never thought that SS/HG would be people to throw themselves into anything unless it was postwar and they were older. Even still, there are hurdles. Thanks for your feedback about the music/ time issue. That would take some work to fix, and I think I apologized for this in one of the Author's Notes mentioning that the music was not from 1996/7. Since I'm uploading on Ashwinder, it might be possible for me to address it. In addition the cell phone issue will be addressed in an upcoming chapter. Hermione would be the first one to quote 'Hogwarts, a History'! Thank you so much for your review and most importantly for taking the time to read it!

Romm- Yeah, not happy with her unfulfilling work. A waste of good talent.

Patty Waffle- Don't hurt your hand or your keyboard… Then you won't be able to access the internet. Except with your mouse. Another cliffie, hope you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading!

Jenn- Release the breath… Thank you for your review.

Marble Glove- I like you're perspective on Hermione. You're right, she always has to be doing something. The danger with that is a person who's not always fully aware of her own feelings. In the cave, she had a lot of time to explore that, sitting in the silence. I envision her mind going so much faster than she can keep up, her brain flowing faster than her hands can write to scribble down her ideas. Thank you!

Franflutewitch- Thank you! I struggle to come up with the cute names we assign to pets! Hope you like the next chapter! Take care.

bumbershoot- You're in Fulshear? Cool. Actually hot. Hasn't it been awful lately? Thanks for reading. Glad to provide so much reading for you! And here's another chapter.

eav- Ooh, I can't wait to se that one. Was the music the same at the Bourne Identity? If so I'll run down right now and pop it in the DVD just to listen. I couldn't find it on i-tunes. Keep reading!

Kali- Hey! Thanks for reading! Snape and everyone saw the firewhiskey bottle, but the ribbon had fallen off under the bed. She retrieved it after her image faded from view. And your second comment is more along the lines of Dumbledore's point of view. Rest assured, they will have it out. Out of character, yes and no. Love makes you do stupid things. Thanks for reviewing. I'm really trying to build up to the reason Hermione left and why she couldn't complete the spell.

Beky- No no no, not yet. Hermione has to suffer more, and poor Severus hasn't suffered enough. Soon soon!

TearsoftheInnocents- Hey Ja Ne, yes yes yes yes… Ha! Another cliffie, I'm a horrible bad person. Here's your update, hope it was worth the wait.

laughing-inside- Thank you for your review, and good luck with your writing. When I rush, I screw up, so take as much time as you need and proof, proof, proof. I never quiet get all the errors!

MystyKitty- Thank you Cat! I appreciate your sincerity. I'm flattered, Pawn to Queen is one of my favorite fics ever. I also love Roman Holiday too. I'm glad you cried (sounds bad). I bawled writing the next two chapters, trying to squeeze as much sorrow and pity as I could. Thank you for reading!

Luna Writer- Two stories only, none completed yet. Yeah, Draco's never quite a goody boy. I can see him as an antagonist to whomever he despises, and if that's his father I guess that would make him kind of light. I doubt highly the trio will soon (or ever?) trust him enough to let him in on Order business, or divulge Snape's role. Snape will have to handle that. Delicately. Draco is a person who watches his own back, as would most Slytherin's. Hope not to disappoint!

mione drac opal- Thanks!

Demon Sorceress- Hey! Thanks for the book rec. Will have to pick it up, but I'm behind on other reading.

MxS Rose- Thank you and Hermione and Snape will be reunited, in a way, in the next chapter. Thanks for your review!

Ms. Snarky- Thank you! Wow, really got some Draco fans out there! Hope you like what happens next.

Stellar Snape- Thank you! I'm glad you found it suspenseful, I'm not sure I was any good at it.

Ellie- I snorted when I saw your sque Hee. I feel the same way too when my favorites update. Thanks for hangin on. Draco is so not a Gryffindor. But amazing to know that there are Slytherins out there that reject bigotry. Draco does what he has to do to protect himself. The other stuff will come later, once his figures out what to do with himself.

Slytherian Angel- Thank you! Keep on reading, let me know what you want to read!

Tiffie 101- Hermione ditched the black hair paint and went natural when Draco saw her. She was still wearing all black though. Hah lol! On top of the car and he rolls off as he makes eye contact with his son? Ha hahaha! Danny would have a heart attack and stop the car. That's terrible! I love it. Thank you, still as terrible as the last chapter with this cliffie I hope!

wackoramaco87- You are not a nerd. My husband is a nerd, I know what that's like. You're a fan fic junkie, that's not nerdy-- it's cool. People keep asking, but probably no sequel. I can' imagine what plot that would have.

poetrychik- Oops, it's time, but it's not time yet. Time for a little angst in a more dangerous environment. Draco is light in a way. Hard to tell how that will manifest itself. And as for sex in DM/PP and HP/GW I alluded to a sex scene with HP/GW. It was originally long and too detailed, but I cut it out. It was distracting and boring detour from the story. It's enough to know that Harry and Ginny love each other and are progressing into a mature, sincere, relationship. I'm still figuring out Snape's goddess… hmmm. She's going to be one distraught spirit next Chapter. Thanks for your review.

wiri- I couldn't cut everything off, the poor readers (myself included) would riot. I have to write it for me just to find out what would happen! It could go so many different ways, I may just write an alternate ending! Hope you like some of Draco's resolution.

June Williams- So many typos and grammatical issues, so little time. Thank you so much for your feedback. I went back to correct the last chapter. I went on a trip to San Francisco last week and went through this chapter dozens of times. Then, even MA and Keket found still other errors I had missed on the read though. Hope you like Snape's response to Draco this chapter. Thank you for your thorough exam!

Fiona McKinnon- Hope you like Lucius deserving what he got again, because I love Sister Barrone's style. Women kick ass. Mick was fun to describe, I picture him being a total overly macho prat, who makes good on his innuendos.

Shabopo- Thanks so much for your help, it means a lot to me! Here's the next chapter, I hope you like!

Shauna- Thanks! It's interesting to see Hermione get relief from seeing someone she always detested. But Hermione's pretty open that way, not stupid, but open to giving second chances.

Althea Grey- Sorry to hear about your friend. Glad you were there for support. Draco is in less shit with Dumbledore than he ever was trying to play it safe with his unpredictable father. Snape doesn't exactly flip out, but it's hard to imagine him being elegantly angry, he's just a man who likes answers… NOW!

Armitage Blade- Thank you for your review! Hermione is running from rejection. And now that she finally decides to confront her fears and accept the responsibility before, she is cheated. How much longer until she breaks down? Three… two… one… she's becoming unhinged…

Kylara- Now Hermione knows she can't keep running, though she would gladly if she could get out of the clutches of Death Eaters. You are correct. If Snape dies, wards fall. It's that simple. And very dangerous given his occupation, that's why Hermione is so afraid to admit her transgression. Her decision to return however came a little late for usefulness now that she's captured. Here is your pleased Pansy! Hope you like it.

saturngurl123- Thank you! I've always found a dark, crowded, humming bar very exciting! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Rachel Diego- It means a lot that you can actually see what's happening. I want you to be able to see and hear everything that goes on. Thanks for your review.

Javen Green- It will end in the next 2-3 chapters I swear. She'll click her heels together soon, I promise. "I hope it's worthy of this incredible tension," you said. God! I hope so too! No pressure… right? It'll probably taken me forever to write chap 24.

Min Hee- S'otay. (Trans. It is okay.) Thanks and glad you like Draco. I always saw him as a spoiled little rich kid, smart but doesn't apply himself and while he's all talk and may throw a decent hex, he's a coward which is a dangerous recipe for a right wing tyrant. Thankfully he had something to sway him!

Kawaiililkitten- She came to some sense, adnd got kidnapped. Damn. She just can't seem to get a break.

Dragonmaster Kurai- Hey! Glad you liked the Chia pet! And I was frustrated too with the slow upload. Tahnks for reading and reviewing!

Ezmerelda- Thank you for reading, hope you like the turn Draco's taken. Finally Severus gets to pursue Hermione!

Christine- Oops. Malfoy gets pretty close… and as for Gaia, stay tuned! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Lyress- Poor Greg, dunno what's going to happen to him. He'll have to come to his senses on his own. He'll have to stop being a sheep to do that though. You work in a bar? God I could've used your expert advice! You know lingo, when the bar picks up pace, what the staffing gets like. Finally here is the next nail-biting chapter, thank you for being so patient and continuing to e-mail me!

levans- God it did take forever to load didn't it? Geez, I had to wait three days before I cold see it myself and even still had a difficult time reading the reviews! Ugh! I hope it's easier this time! Hope you like Pansy and Draco's bit. They are a good pair in this fic.

amsev- I'll see your bet and raise you another cliffie. Thanks for Reading!

Rosmerta- I like Danny too, I think I may do something with him in a future chapter. Thank you for your review and for continuing to read! Gaia has a good role in the upcoming chapters, too bad she can't spill the beans.

Tabii- Oooh! Chains. (Tie me up, then I can write and not go to work.) yelps I don't think BDSM is permitted on fanfic (sorry, couldn't help myself). Hope you like the next chapter!!

azulkan2- Another cliffie ending. So there! Hopefully it won't take so long for the next chapter. It's half written already. Thanks for the review!

Nakhash Mekashefah- The home stretch! I swear. Maybe two or three more chapters. Like two more and an epilogue… we'll see. Thank you for the complement and thank you for continuing to read!

Nocturus- Thank you! Hope you still agree after waiting two weeks!

strawberry22- Yeah, motorcycles are cool, and drat but she couldn't quite get the necklace yet. On to Plan B. I can now answer your question about the deliberate stuff. The gender of the dove was deliberately written as a him, because that's how Hermione perceived the bird. Parallel to Severus assuming his artist was a man. As for stuff out of cannon, did I screw up the characters or Pensieve etc? I'll answer the questions about electronic devices not working on Hogwarts grounds in a future chapter.

bumble-bumble-bee- thank you for your review! I prefer longer chapters to shorter ones also. Hope this last chapter wetted your whistle. And sorry, no talk between Hermione and Severus this chap, but I swear they will next chapter!!!


	23. All This Time

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, all characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Think I could convince her to let me borrow Snape and lock him in a room for 14 hours?

**Chapter 23: All This Time**

She stared right into the face of Victor Krum. Victor her pen pal, her friend. Victor her first kiss. Her first date, escort to the Yule Ball. A summer spent with him and his parents.

"Bullshit! No way! No way!" Hermione furiously shook her head until a bobby pin came loose, freeing a lock of hair. His crooked nose and facial features were unmistakable. _It had to be Polyjuice. He would never. It was asinine._

When he spoke to her again, she could not refute it.

"Vy don't you just be nice and come vith us now," Krum said as venomously as he could, his mouth was twisted into a grimace of loathing that implied her cooperation was unnecessary.

"How could you?!" _Victor is a Death Eater_. The confirmation of his identity was too much to bear.

The other Death Eater guffawed and snorted, entirely entertained by her display.

Deep within her soul, Hermione channeled an rage previously unknown to her and punched him dead in the face.

He fell down hard, in shock from her blow, screaming in his own pain. Her swift right hook was completely unforeseen to both kidnappers. She was wandless and not going anywhere, but as long as she had two God-given arms and two God-given legs, ten fingers, and ten toes she figured she still had weapons at her disposal.

"Bastard," she kicked him hard in his gut. "I can't believe you! You son-of-a-bitch! Stupid! So stupid, Victor. Why? Just tell me that! WHY?!" The other young Death Eater grabbed her after her first kick flew and her legs were still flailing. Hermione screamed out a furious howl of wrath. They had communicated via letters for two years and while she hadn't been writing much since last October, Hermione still considered Victor her friend.

Victor looked up at her from the floor holding his bloody (and probably broken) nose and got to his feet smugly. "Evry-vone has their obligations. I choose ze vinning side. You veren't very fun, pity you didn't agree earlier to my requests…"

"I was _fourteen_, Victor! What the hell else kind of answer were you expecting anyway?" She was furious and in a moment she looked into his cold eyes and saw the eyes of a traitor. __

"Well done, Krum," came the familiar voice of Lucius Malfoy from the hall.

He was looking very… relaxed. Almost jovial. It seemed incongruent with his usual disposition. Hermione couldn't quite put her finger on it. She stopped struggling.

"Bloody hell, but you're a mess. Clean yourself up," Lucius said with near amusement. It seemed out of place. Ordinarily, it would have sounded superior coming from Malfoy, but he wasn't himself.

Victor rid himself of the bleeding with a few charms, but he still needed to mend his nose. It would have to do for now. Breathing was difficult, but there was still a captive to consider.

"Why don't you take her into that room, _down the hall._" He made a particular emphasis on those last three words, which Hermione was sure he was using to intimidate her and rolled her eyes. Hawkley pushed her forward and Krum grabbed her arm.

Lucius tried his best to wear a more smug expression when going to his Master. He was about to take full credit for her capture of course— he had once put in his time doing what grunts like Krum and Hawkley did, and now reaped the benefits of being in the Inner Circle by exploiting the rookies. He waited behind for a few minutes. It wouldn't serve him too well to appear before the Dark Lord looking this rested and carefree.

Victor yanked her toward the door and down a long corridor. Just when she had decided to return to Hogwarts and face the music, she was brought here. The prospect of her capture and what might happen to her was utterly terrifying, momentarily interrupting the feverish flow of sensual thoughts and painful unchecked desire.

_Well on to Plan B._ Being captured by Death Eaters had once had been her very dangerous, poorly thought out plan. She thought she must have been very drunk when this crossed her mind, because it was stupid beyond imagining.

She was tempted to use the portkey, but now that she was here, Hermione's Gryffindor instincts would not allow her to abandon the possibility that Kendra was being held somewhere around here. If she could find her, they could leave together. She need to at least be alone to use the portkey, otherwise she would unintentionally take two Death Eaters with her. She saw many doors and wondered if Kendra might be in this hall. The hall was a change from the dungeon. It looked like it was an addition to an old Muggle building which had been acquired by the Death Eaters as a hideout. She could be anywhere in the world though. There were no windows to speak of. Peeling wallpaper and water stains on the ceiling suggested the place should be condemned. Some pipes were exposed from a hole in the wall.

"Where's Kendra?" She yelled at Victor, trying to wrench free.

He jerked her arm back, and it painfully twisted at the shoulder where he had shoved her up against the wall. "You need to be vorrying about yourzelf don't you zink?" The man behind him gave a devilish grin again.

"I need to go to the bathroom," she stalled, crossing her legs. "Please," she put on her best urgent pleading face.

"Hey, Krum. You should take her. I don't want her pissing everywhere, you know?" Victor spun to face him. "After all," he sneered creepily, "We don't need her to be a virgin anymore, right?" Victor smirked and shoved a stunned Hermione into the bathroom.

Slamming the door in her face, he locked her in. It was a drippy, smelling foulness which stank of ammonia and fecal matter, as well as perhaps other biological materials. The most disgusting filth she had seen even rivaling a loo at a gas station. Hermione nearly retched as she spotted a dried pool of blood.

One thing was sure, there was no way she could pee in a waterless brown toilet. There were flies. _Ew. _Suddenly the grimy cauldron didn't nearly seem this bad. She looked around for any kind of weapon or blunt object. Originally she had no intention of fighting but her odds weren't looking good at the moment.

The thought for a moment, for a brief moment— about getting herself out. She had her portkey, she could go home right now_. But where was her Gryffindor spirit? The sense of adventure? Fuck adventure, she was going to die. But Kendra could be here…_

_Crap._ Harry and Ron were usually with her for foolish escapades like this.Actually this was usually the suicidal stuff _she_ tried to talk _them_ out of doing._ Ironic. _She looked up again at the tiled ceiling and saw a vent.

_Tiled ceiling... Vent... Excellent!_ She said a silent prayer for the architect who built this place. She used the toilet as a stepstool to the sink and hoped it would hold her weight. Reaching up, almost losing her balance as she did so, she removed the metal cover and pulled herself up into the crawlspace_. I love jeans… I love jeans… Ooooh— but I hate closed spaces… I hate closed spaces…._

She wiggled toward the light suggestive of a nearby opening. It led to a room and she looked down.

_Empty. _

She crawled ahead a bit further and looked down through horizontal metal slats in the flimsy aluminum vent cover. It was too dark to see well, and the dust in the air duct was getting to her.

"Kendra?" She whispered. "Kendra? Are you in there?"

The weary girl below lay on her cot, convinced she was hearing voices. She had been isolated in the sparse room for close to eight months now, after being found by one of the Death Eaters. She watched them rape and kill her mother. The girl was broken before she even came to this place.

There was shouting behind her and some angry voices could be heard echoing though the tinny metal air duct. "Where did she go? You better come back here right now!" The Death eater novice hissed. They were in big trouble. They had lost their prize catch inside of ten minutes.

"Damn it!" Her heart pounded in her chest, and her elbows were wedged against her sides. She used her fingernails to budge the vent open and fell face first through the ceiling, dropping in the middle of the locked room. _"OW!" _Even using her arms to protect her from the fall, Hermione was surprised she didn't break anything. She was going to have bruises everywhere.

Kendra could barely believe her eyes. Hermione's were still adjusting to the lack of light. "Who's there?" asked the fearful voice.

"Kendra! Oh thank God, you're here."

"Who is it?" the voice asked.

"It's me, Hermione Granger." Hermione blindly grabbed for her hand and Kendra was startled.

She didn't believe her. _It was another trick._ "Just do what you came to do and get out," Kendra said weakly, almost bored. She had long since resigned herself to a horrible fate that included daily visits by her captors.

"No really, Kendra. It's me. Pansy and I formed a club…" she began stupidly.

"Pansy?"

"… long story. I have a portkey for you. It'll get you safely to Hogwarts. I promise." She fished in her pocket for the extra locket and pressed it into her palm. "Open it and press the inside. I swear. You don't have to stay any longer. I came to get you. Let's go home." She heard sounds at the door, and began to panic.

Hermione ran to block the door, trying to take Kendra's hand with her but she remained unmoved on the bed. She tugged on Kendra's hand with both of her own. "Come on," Hermione pleaded, leaning backward trying to throw her weight behind her to pull the resistant girl up from her prison.

"Hermione, ve know zat you're in 'zere." Victor's familiar voice echoed through the door, as furious hands scrambled to unlock it.

Hermione gasped when the crack of light appeared. When they tried to open the door, she flung herself against it, struggling to keep it shut. "Hurry, Kendra! Now! Do it now!" Hermione reached forward, straining her fingertips to reach her, but her fingers found only air.

Kendra could see the whites of Hermione's frightened eyes and after hearing her called by name, swallowed and thought about her chances. She thought about home.

When Krum and his fellow thug finally forced their way into the room, Hermione was flung forward on hands and knees. The light from the hallway however made it clear to both Death Eaters that she was the only one there.

Kendra was pretty girl. She used to wear her curly black hair in fluffy round ponytails on the back of her head. But now, it was knotted and bald in places where she had pulled it out of nervousness, or perhaps it had fallen out. Her once creamy cocoa skin was now sickly and pale, her figure now wasted after her long captivity. Kendra squinted as she couldn't quite adjust to the abrupt change of light. When she moved her hand finally, dark circles could be seen on her formerly youthful skin. Her right hand clutched the locket which dangled loosely from her grasp. She was standing in the very center of the Great Hall where the spell had first been cast.

The entire student body collectively gasped as their missing peer appeared before them. It was the middle of dinner and twenty girls immediately stood to support her, Pansy and Melanie racing to her side first.

Dumbledore and the other teachers rose from their seats quickly. "May I have your attention please," the Headmaster's commanding voice came from the Head Table. "I know all of you would like to welcome our friend back, but please be courteous and allow her the time she needs to recuperate." His voice shook slightly. It was difficult when addressing such sensitive matters and there had been far too many in the last several years, beginning with the death of Cedric Diggory.

Kendra was silent in the protective circle of women who stood by supporting her. A knot began to build in the pit of Luna's stomach when she recognized the locket, removing it from Kendra's grasp. The disoriented girl collapsed in the sensory overload, and was quickly levitated to the infirmary by her honor guard.

The entire school watched in horror as their worst fears were proved true. Some cried in relief that they were safe from whatever Kendra suffered, knowing that the group of girls at the Yule Ball had somehow contributed to the safety they now enjoyed.

Harry's and Ron's hearts leapt at the thought that if Kendra was returned, maybe there was hope that Hermione would come back.

Goyle stared at his plate. He had just been taunting Draco about his ditching the Mark— then Kendra showed up, taking the breath from him.

Draco leaned over, and whispered back to him. It was the first complete thought he had spoken to Goyle in months that had nothing to do with his Prefect duties. "You said you couldn't ever imagine that a Death Eater would hurt one of their own, but there is Kendra. Everyone is expendable to the Dark Lord, even you. Kendra was sacrificed by her own _father_. How are _you_ any different?"

"What do you mean?" Goyle growled.

"Kendra was just _marked_ differently. You're a sacrifice just the same. The Dark Lord will have his use for you and then you'll be discarded." Draco got up and sat by the first years on the far end of the table. He knew Goyle was pushed into service just like he was. Goyle was terrified to take the Mark, but he had done so anyway. Goyle was nervous, which is why he insisted on talking about it all the time. Draco felt sad. This was the conversation they should have had before he took the Mark. These were words he said too late. At least Pansy had said her peace. _Would Goyle have ever made a different decision if he had someone like Pansy to talk him out of it?_ Draco looked at the wide fearful expressions of the eleven and twelve year-olds around him. He hoped Voldemort's reign would long be over before these young Slytherins were forced to make these choices.__

Goyle sat surrounded in the worried murmuring of his Slytherin peers, feeling more alone than ever. It was horrible enough to see what happened to the Muggles the Death Eaters captured for torture, but Voldemort's own followers sometimes received much worse. _Especially traitors._ He dared not attempt to change his mind now, '_What's done is done,' _he told himself. His father was always watching him anyway, gauging his reactions, making sure he enjoyed it. Goyle's tolerance for violence was building, and even though often he did not participate too much in the torture of others yet, he knew standing by was the same as condoning it. Draco was still a smug bastard and lucky. He had skipped out, and still threw it in his face. Goyle had hoped he'd have someone to confide in by now. Someone on the same rung as he was in the hierarchical ladder of the Death Eaters. Now Goyle had no one.

Luna approached the Headmaster in the hallway, Snape following closely behind.

"Professor?" Both men stopped to address the young fifth-year student.

"Yes, Luna?" Dumbledore's attention seemed divided between Luna and the floating form of Kendra.

"Kendra was holding this." She held up the rectangular locket before him.

Snape took it and flipped it over in his palm, reading the inscription of the school name on the back.

"I thought I should tell you that after the Ball, I charmed it for Hermione to keep in emergency so that she could return to Hogwarts if she had need. She must have given it to her _personally_, sir." Luna's voice was shaky. In essence, she was saying that Hermione had not only rescued Kendra but also lost her only way home.

Snape dashed off toward the infirmary to inquire about his student. They needed to talk with Kendra right away. She might know where Hermione was.

Kendra's eyes popped open once her back touched the surface of the bed in the infirmary. She shot up and crossed the room to cower in a corner. Her eyes darted around nervously, losing her bearings for a moment. The last place she wanted to be was on a cot. The young girl trembled, overwhelmed with all of the silent support that the girls standing before her had offered. Melanie came into her view along with Pansy, her longtime friend, but Kendra stared ahead vacantly, as if she had seen no one.

They squatted to meet her at eye level and said nothing as the disoriented girl took in her new surroundings. Stone walls, a stone floor charmed to be warm under her bare feet. She touched it with her fingertips. Hogwarts was real, she was real. Moving pictures she was familiar with adorned the walls—paintings of former mediwitches and scenes of nursing hung over each of the beds. Everything was white, with a few beds holding blue blankets folded neatly at the foot. She smelled the air and it had fresh quality, with a hint of antiseptic. Not at all like her previous eight month stay in hell. It was a dim room, made brighter by torches on the wall which lit spontaneously upon entering.

_The last time she had been here…_ _the last time_, she thought. _All of the beds were filled with members of the Slytherin Quidditch team after a horrible collision turning a training exercise._ It seemed so long ago. That memory felt longer than a year ago.

"You're safe now," Pansy said. "We won't let anything happen to you." Pansy reached her hand out a little toward Kendra, triggering Kendra's last memory of her confinement.

The voices seemed distant, but recognizing Pansy's voice, she registered her safety. She reached out and grabbed Pansy's' hand, gripping it hard, like she would disappear.

Snape watched the scene before him unfold. While the matter of Hermione's location was urgent, it would have been tactless for him to barge forward and interrogate the girl. It was disturbing enough to retrieve Melanie's tortured form from the front steps. He had no idea what Kendra must have been through, having been gone so long.

"She said you would be here…" Kendra whispered through cracked lips.

Snape walked forward with Dumbledore and with a wave of the Headmaster's hand dismissed many of the girls to the outside hall. Getting on his knees and folding his hands inward on his thighs, Snape assumed a reserved position by Pansy and Melanie. A nervous Poppy was close behind, trying her best not to make her usual vocal protests about care, privacy, and no visitors.

Kendra appeared not to notice, looking intently on Pansy's hand. It was covered in Latin, but she seemed unaware of it.

"She was reaching out for me…" Kendra said in an empty voice. _If only she had grabbed Hermione's hand._

"Who was reaching out to you?" Melanie asked, but knowing the answer. She wanted to hear it, but also wanted Kendra to talk.

"Hermione. She… she blocked the door. She said she came to get me. She said we could go _home_." Tears started to roll down her cheeks as the word home rung in her veins. Home meant Hogwarts. She had no home anymore. No mother. She had no father she wanted to call father anymore.

_She said 'we' could go home._ _Hermione had planned on returning_. Snape leaned forward, and if it was possible, Kendra recoiled, shrinking back even more against the wall in fear. It wounded him to see that look, one he had seen too often as a Death Eater. Snape scooted backward, and removed his cloak, hoping to look less imposing.

"You are safe here," Dumbledore said in his most soothing tones. "We will not let any harm come to you."

"Help me to help her, Kendra. Can you describe where they were holding you?" Snape asked softly.

Pansy squeezed her hand for support. A silent signal of encouragement to talk. Kendra flinched and spoke, "There was just four walls and a cot, so dark. Four walls and a cot. Four walls and a cot. No pictures. Peeling wallpaper. It smelled horrible." Kendra shut her eyes to block out the memory, but it only made it more vivid. She opened her eyes again to look at Pansy's hand.

Pansy tried hard not to react to the sight of the drained, mistreated woman before her—Pansy's contained her emotion tightly beneath her skin. Melanie had survived and she was gone for such a short time. _Kendra, what did they do to you?_

Snape sighed inwardly. That explained a lot of places. "Did they take you anywhere else?"

"There is a w-wh-white room." Kendra started sobbing and Pansy pulled her close into a comforting hug.

Pansy dreaded further questioning from Snape, hoping Kendra's description was sufficient. Kendra had been through enough. Looking up, she saw Snape was already out the infirmary door. _Go get her. Bring her back. Don't you dare let them do this to Hermione._

Orla reentered and sat to the side of Melanie and Pansy. "I'll stay with her. She shouldn't be alone," she said quietly, remembering her own lonely convalescence.

Seeing the sisterhood between the girls, Poppy allowed it. Friendship in some ways was its own medicine. She would work around it.

Hermione turned around quickly, not wanting to expose her backside to the two predators behind her. She took a look around the room, finally illuminated from the hallway. It was horribly empty. Isolated. This was Kendra's existence, and she found a deep hatred within herself for the people who had inflicted this on the young woman. She was probably only one of many who had suffered here.

"Where did she go?" asked a panicked Hawkley.

Hermione had a plastered look of satisfaction knowing Kendra had successfully activated her portkey. Somewhere Kendra was safe, in the arms of her friends and away from this hellhole. _Mission__ accomplished._

"Ve said, 'vere did she go?" Krum looked really panicked now, and had reason to be concerned.

"She's gone. Safe. No thanks to you." Hermione spat at him and they yanked her out of the room.

Once again, Hermione found her back against the wall with Krum uncomfortably pressing against her. He was breathing on her, his muscular body almost shielding her physically from the other man.

"Come on Krum, let me gave a go," Hawkley snapped.

_Shit!_ She felt hot breath on her neck, Hermione panicked as she racked her brain for the defensive spell. Her heart raced. Why couldn't she remember the incantation? _Simple Latin!_ _Repel desire. Come on!_ Her mind went blank.

It was strange that the next voice— the one she most loathed to hear— saved her from perhaps a worse fate.

"Krum. Hawkley." Lucius Malfoy waltzed up the hallway to find the empty room that once held their captive. Lucius checked the room and pointed his wand toward the two stupid junior Death Eaters. "You may very well be a champion Quidditch player, Mr. Krum, but you have a great deal to learn about service to the Dark Lord. _Crucio__ Crucio_." Both men slumped to the floor in pain while Lucius clutched Hermione's wrist forcefully. "Come with me, Mudblood."

Krum and Hawkley regained their senses and joined Lucius and Hermione back in the larger white room. "Tell me, how exactly did Kendra go missing?"

"She used a port…" Hawkley began shakily.

"You stupid boy! I know that. How did she manage to get a portkey, you fool?!"

"I vas mistaken in permitting her to go to 'ze bathroom alone. She took 'ze air passage to her room and freed 'ze girl."

Leave it to Krum to take full responsibility, being the more senior of the two. _He still had a lot to learn about proper deflection of blame_. "Get out. Go! You are of no further use at the moment. I truthfully doubt you wish the Dark Lord to find out about this transgression."

"But what about…" Krum tried to interject, gesturing toward Hermione. It was stupid he knew, but was worried about leaving her with someone as notorious as Malfoy. Hell, Malfoy was largely responsible for a lot of the mistreatment that Kendra had suffered.

Then it dawned on her. In his hesitation to leave, Victor's quick concerned glance was her clue. _Bloody hell._ She did know him. _He's probably an Order member and everything._ _Stupid, Victor. If I had my wand, I would hex you to back to Bulgaria._

Malfoy gave them both one swift, threatening look. As beautiful a face as Lucius had, he was equally sick to look at when angered. A look was all it took— the promise of Cruciatus in a glance. If they stayed any longer, he would cast again.

Krum and Hawkley paled and disappeared down the hall immediately, not needing to be told again. It was hard for Victor not to look back.

Hermione was savoring this as much as she could. Lucius was about to wipe that silly smile off her face.

She was trying to bolster additional nerve, so she decided to bite off a bit. "Sorry that one of them wasn't your _own_ son?"

Lucius spun on her quickly, a coiled snake ready to strike. "What are you on about?"

"Guess it looks like Draco won't be following in _Daddy's_ footsteps. He must have really embarrassed you… not taking the Mark..."

"Shut up, stupid bitch!"

"…how disappointing. He never looked better," she said with a smug smile on her face.

Malfoy grabbed her and shoved her hard up against the wall, breathing heavily on her. "How would you know, filthy Mudblood?"

Her bobby pins poked painfully into her scalp when her head hit the wall, but she continued. "I was _there_. I was one of the bartenders at The Shot," she said cheekily. "Ring a bell? Wouldn't your dear Master love to know just how _close_ you were to me. And you didn't even realize it." She was guessing. But she was right.

"Shut your filthy mouth, you stupid wench!" His forearm was pressing up against her neck, beginning to choke her.

But she didn't stop, even through the choke hold she rasped, "Is that the best you can do? Come on Lucius, what are you waiting for? Here's your golden opportunity. I know you hate me."

Standing in the shadows, Severus could hardly believe his eyes as he looked at her in the flesh. She was here, alive, looking pretty disheveled but resolute_. How dare she tempt Lucius like that?_ She was going to bloody well get herself murdered to death.

When Snape entered the room, Hermione tried not to look. She couldn't help it, her face one of surprise. She hadn't seen Severus since before Christmas. _Don't cry_. Reflexively, she looked down and licked her lips, chewing the inside of her cheek._ Don't break._

Lucius looked at Hermione's face and turned to see his associate. "Severus what brings you here?" Lucius released her temporarily, leaving Hermione to cough, gasp and rub at her sore neck.

"Well, imagine my astonishment in seeing Kendra return to the safety of Hogwarts. She described where she was being held and I got away as quickly as I could. As I had expected, how is our _beloved_ Miss Granger doing?" Each word from his lips dripped with sarcasm and a deep, painful expression of detachment that only Snape could produce.

Hermione had her confirmation. _Kendra was safe. And people knew where she was_. Up to now, fear was keeping desire at bay. Adrenaline won out over hormones. With Severus here though, it would be constant battle. When Hermione was afraid, she couldn't think straight, and when she had her wits about her all she could think of was Severus.

Having Severus here made what she had to do so much harder. His voice was torture, in hateful tones or not. _Don't speak, don't speak. _Her skin crawled with fiery temptation and her stomach clenched in fear of ruining everything. If he died… it would be all her fault. _Oh God, please help me…_

"My my, one of your own teachers. You do look surprised."

"Not really," she managed as dryly as she could, looking away.

Malfoy looked interested, regarding Snape. "Not really, eh? So you suspected him?" Malfoy mused. "How interesting. Why pray tell would you imagine him to be a Death Eater?"

"Well, he is the Head of _Slytherin_. And he did assign that Bellflower Assignment. After Pansy told me about her Dad, and with Kendra and Melanie missing, I did the math."

"Smart girl. So tell me," Lucius came closer to her. "Have you remained _chaste_ all this while?"

"Go to hell." Hermione met his gaze and showed as little emotion as possible. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

Snape could've blown Lucius to pieces right then. He could see this coming a mile away. It was like a script. Snape was surprised that they hadn't already taken her, but so far only Lucius was here. He was toying with her, one of the cruelest Death Eaters at the revels. He set the pace for everyone else, not needing drugs or alcohol to fuel his sadistic nature at all. Lucius made the pain last, and preferred to humiliate women, especially strong women like Hermione. Snape wasn't sure how he was going to get her out, distract Lucius. Something.

"Foolish girl…" Lucius was furious. _How dare she talk back?_ He preferred an obedient captive. _But fighting back? That could also hold promise._

"I'm not a girl," she corrected. "I'm a woman." She said this with conviction, feeling more powerful with each statement.

"Maybe only in a manner of speaking, but I am only too… happy… to… oblige…" and he snaked his long index finger down her throat in a venomous sensuality of movement.

She remembered, whispering the incantation. "Referite Desiderio." Lucius found him shoved forcefully to the other side of the room. Hermione crossed her arms in front of her and looked down on the fallen man with a triumphant pride. Her Latin was coming back, so she elaborated. "Nunquam sine meo concessu," she hissed. _Bastard._

Snape had whipped out his wand and realized she had none.

"Mudblood whore, what did you do?" Lucius was climbing to his feet and attempting to put his well groomed mask of arrogance back into place. It didn't suit him.

"Sorry, you see… I'm endowed with— how shall I put it? _Protective measures_ since last term? The 'Power of Innocence' and all that." Hermione was baiting him, taunting an already spitting cobra, kicking an angry dog.

"I would never want you! Stupid, filthy Mudblood! You think you can survive here? You _will_ talk. We will make sure of it."

"I'll never tell you anything!" she growled.

"We shall see," he said coldly, looking innocently at his manicure. "Crucio!"

Hermione crumpled on the ground, in the most horrible shooting pains, piercing all of her flesh, down to her cerebellum, head throbbing in pain. Hot tears streamed from her eyes, but she did not cry out. The pain was too terrible for her body to yet comprehend.

Snape looked on in horror, with the façade of his customary indifferent expression in place, as he watched her curl up in the tight ball he was familiar with from his own unfortunate experiences. '_How much could she endure? Why would she not speak?'_ It seemed such a simple thing. '_Why hadn't she completed the spell?'_

Lucius seemed a bit unnerved at her lack of responsiveness. She laughed. Hermione Granger actually laughed under her mangled tresses, loosened from where she had pulled her hair back. She laughed harder and coughed, though it hurt to do so. "You'll _never_ know. This pain doesn't even compare," she whispered hoarsely. "…with the alternative."

"CRUCIO!" He bellowed.

Hermione cried out but couldn't hear her own cry, she felt her eardrums explode with pain. She was shaking now, sobbing on the floor. _You love him… don't let them win._

It hurt to breathe. After several minutes passed, she looked up to yell at her wretched attacker. "Go ahead, kill me you fucking son-of-a-bitch! DO IT!" She screamed franticly. _Gaia was stirring within her while Snape's goddess remained inexplicably calm._

Lucius' jaw pulsed with anger as he considered her suggestion. He raised his wand, "Avada…"

"Stupefy!" Voldemort knocked Malfoy across the room, and then fired a green shock of light, scorching a hole in the peeling wallpaper, very near his skull. A dark spell for sure, and he missed on purpose as a warning.

Malfoy shook his head, recovering from the force of his fall.

"Stupid fool! We need his _name_. She is the strongest, I can feel it…" he hissed. Hermione dare not look up into the serpentine eyes of the Dark Lord. He was frightening enough to look at, but more frightening still to fell the raw hatred seep through his pores, filling all free space in the atmosphere around him with a sense of doom. No wonder Snape forbid anyone to speak the name of the Dark Lord.

Hermione laughed under her breath.

"Shut up girl, or I will kill you myself!" Voldemort said approaching her.

"Go ahead! If you do, you will imbue my love with a protection so strong that Harry Potter himself would envy it!" She looked up at him, her jaw clenched and her hands firmly on the ground, pushing herself to her feet. _Do it! Kill me and it will end. Kill me and he'll be safe._

Snape was wide-eyed. He couldn't hide his astonishment, nor the fear welling up inside his belly like a tide. She meant to do it. She wanted to die.

The Dark Lord seethed in frustration. _How dare that impertinent girl speak the name of Potter!_ The reptilian like man approached her angrily and lifted her face to his own. Snape cringed and waited to hear the words. If he did anything now, they both would die.

"You can't hide from me foolish girl! Legilimens…" Voldemort hissed a whisper and looked into her eyes. Immediately he released her as if her had touched a hot stove. _A Goddess! _He was furious and struck her across the face with a backhand, knocking her to the floor. He could get nothing. _How was he not told about the blessing? Perhaps no one saw it. He would get to the bottom of that._ The guardian would protect her until she was needed. _After that… the girl would beg for mercy._

She saw stars, every nerve ending was on fire from the curses. Her skin was crawling and her insides constricted painfully. She tried to push herself up on her palms, but her elbows kept giving out.

"Severus… we need you to interrogate her. You skills of _persuasion_… are exactly what we need. You will get the information we require. I believe she will be more responsive with your techniques than with Malfoy's." He glared at his impulsive servant, who had displeased him once too often of late.

"Yes, my Lord." Snape groaned inwardly.

Voldemort left as he often did, leaving matters like this to his servants, though he would undoubtedly return to check on his progress. It was an improvement, but there was still Lucius' presence to consider.

Snape didn't want to have to torture one of his own students. Not her. She was stubborn. After two bouts of 'Crucio' and the determination he'd seen her possess, he was quite certain she would try to make good on her promise not to talk. Oh she would talk eventually, but he would have to plot carefully to make sure that only he could discern her object of desire, protecting him before the other Death Eaters found out. This was what Snape was afraid of. He was under pressure to maintain his role as spy, but he'd be damned if he wasn't considering abandoning it all to save her from this. _If only Lucius would leave…_but he was hovering.

Hermione was mortified. He was standing in front of her, and anything she said or did could betray him in an instant. She wasn't nearly feeling as sure as she once did about her chances.

Malfoy stood with his hand clenched around his wand sheath as if to strangle it like her pretty neck. He was robbed— he beat Snape here, infuriated that he was being deprived of the opportunity to interrogate the girl. He felt this was owed him.

Snape lifted her crumpled form into the next room, a room with pristine white walls and a tiny window for light. His contact with her was added injury in itself and she cried out when he touched her. Her frame was limp, then rigid as her muscles involuntarily twitched from the Cruciatus.

This room was designed for intimidation and brainwashing. Nearly anyone who entered here would lose their minds after two long days of sadistic cruelty and manipulation. She slumped from the chair to the floor, finding more comfort in the relative stability of the swirling ground than attempt to sit upright in a chair with no arms to support her weight.

Hermione was grateful for the sharp throbbing in her temple— it superseded the desire coursing within her. She could feel it lurking powerfully though, waiting for the pain of Cruciatus to wane. Fear worked also in the hall with Krum and Hawkley. But she could not be afraid of Severus.

'P-professor Snape…"

"Don't call me that!" Snape hated to hear his title when he was in this role. So rarely did he come face to face with a student in a circumstance such as this. He couldn't stand for it, especially from her.

"Severus…," she whispered, "Don't do this." Snape came nearer to hear her half-spoken words. "You will regret it," her syllables came in staccato breaths.

Hearing her say his first name on mere breath, a longtime wish, was almost as bad. "I already do, Miss Granger." _Why Hermione, why? _"What did you do to Lucius?" He asked unfeelingly.__

"Hmmph. He will find it extremely difficult to harm me now, with indecent thoughts filling his mind. As long as he has any desire to harm me sexually or force himself on me, he will be very violently expelled from my personal space. The same goes for anyone _else_." _God, please don't come near me… don't touch me..._

"I only care to know about one someone…" He looked at her and hooked a finger under her chin. He was too curious to see what had so upset the Dark Lord.

"Don't… please…" _Please don't look at me._

"Legilimens," came his distressed whisper. The tendrils of his mind reached out and painfully hit the wall. When he looked behind her eyes, he saw Gaia, standing as a barrier in front of her memories. _So that what blocked Voldemort's intrusion._ He released her swiftly, he felt the connection of their blessing as strong as ever and his own Goddess appeared quite confused at his complex role in this situation. '_You must protect her_,' she instructed.

"Come now," he asked in his sweetest silky tones, "You can tell me. Who is he?"

Hermione looked in his eyes deeply and shook her head. She avoided any long spells of eye contact. Legilimens or not she felt he could see right through her. His fingers left her chin and she immediately longed for the contact again. _To touch him, run into his arms. _Her head dropped as if it were heavy, her lids drooping. _You are in danger, don't fantasize._

A nosy Lucius was looking in from the door. "Needing a bit of help, my friend?" And he wheeled a tray of crude metal instruments on what appeared to be a squeaky medical cart in the door. They appeared sterile, with a pale blue cloth draping them in formal fashion. A small clear glass of water was on the cart as well.

Hermione looked up. _Another intimidation tactic._ _Show the detainee what is possible_. _He wouldn't use them_. _He wouldn't_. There were more powerful ways to extract information, magically speaking. Magical ways were also far more painful than Muggle implements could ever produce.

Snape fished a dropper bottle from his pocket and released three clear drops to dissolve into the glass of water. Her eyes widened as she realized what was next. _Oh no…_

"Miss Granger, you will drink this or I will make you."

She had no doubt Snape would do just that. This wasn't Professor Snape, concerned but evil Potions teacher, this was Snape, Death Eater, with the capital DE. He would be expected to perform, and Hermione knew she didn't want to put him at risk by hoping he would aid her in some suicidal attempt at heroism.

Snape wrestled with his duties. _Leave now and take her with you. No more spying._ He stared at the woman who had occupied so many of his dreams, and wondered why on earth she hadn't used the portkey with Kendra.

She took the offered glass of clear liquid. Veritaserum. _'Tell the truth. The truth will set you free,' she_ said over and over again in her head. She almost choked on it— it tasted awfully sweet, almost syrupy…sugary. Veritaserum was odorless and tasteless— she wondered what other elements had been introduced in the cocktail.

Her thoughts began to race with ideas of how to get out. How to protect him. _Maybe I can tell him here, in plain view of Malfoy. Something only he would understand. No, better not to risk it._ Severus' reaction would be too unpredictable. She didn't want to run the risk of outing him as a spy, or making him feel obligated to get her out of a dangerous situation she had gotten herself into. She was desperate— but more so to keep him safe, than to save her own neck.

She hoped if she could make honest statements, she could answer the questions he asked truthfully enough without going into too much detail. That was the theory anyway. Hopefully he wouldn't be too direct. _' If__ only she could just get a wand. Wait. Lucius.'_

Lucius was a repulsive, sick man. She had overheard several Death Eaters earlier ask if Lucius would 'spoil' her. Although he had refused the suggestion, he did mention he wouldn't mind having an 'appetizer.' It was revolting. She knew she still possessed some of the hormones from the previous spell. She could feel them anyway, she didn't know if they still held any sway over the men around her. Ever since all of the women took their vow of chastity, it appeared almost no boy (or man) could resist them. The mores and values of the Professors delineated obvious codes of conduct, making it possible for them to keep themselves in check. It was a subtle thing, much more difficult for Ginny and Lisa with their boyfriends. In fact Ginny and Pansy went out of their way to avoid Harry and Draco as they neared the Yule Ball. They had been finding it more difficult to decline their advances. No doubt they had already consummated their relationships since the spellcasting. But Lucius Malfoy—he had no morals to violate. Nothing seemed beneath him. He seemed an easy target.

She raised her hand to her collar and fanned herself with her shirt, trying to get air to her chest while giving Lucius a nice view at the same time. _'That's right, come over here... Please let this work.'_

"What is your full name?" Severus asked the baseline questions. _Don't look at… Merlin help me. _Her cleavage was very visible from here, the edge of her lacy bra against her plump breast visible beneath the fluttering opening in her blouse

"Hermione Jane Granger."

"And what can you tell me about the object of your affection?" He asked with a clinical distance, looking down at his blank parchment. He had nothing to write yet that he didn't already know.

It startled her, but the answer flowed easily. "He's a brave man, so different from others. He would refuse me. But he won't, he can't let me near… he would never want me." _Shut up! Don't say too much, Hermione_. Her ears were ringing and she tried to keep her watery eyes focused on Lucius. Everything was about to tumble out of her lips. She felt in physical pain as she fought the Veritaserum, skirting the questions without completely answering them, struggling to stay in some kind of control, trying to keep him alive_. Tell the truth._

"Is he a student?" He expected to draw this out as long as he could. _If only Lucius would leave_.

_Oh God, please not twenty questions, Severus. _"N-no, sir." _Look at Malfoy. Focus on Malfoy. _She licked her lips seductively.

That left only one person he could think of._ Who could she love but he could not return her affection? Who would refuse her? _He'd seen their interactions_…_ how she healed him at the headquarters. How her hands lingered on his bare back. _Why didn't he notice it before?_

_Remus.___

Hermione knew how she could give Severus his safety— she could be murdered defending him. Now that Severus was interrogating her, it seems that wouldn't be possible. She couldn't say anything now. He'd be killed immediately. Hermione was afraid, but hoped that her apparent fear would be an aphrodisiac of sorts for Lucius who she struggled to maintain eye contact with.

The overconfident man couldn't help himself and walked toward her. Her hands were in her lap and if she could just reach… _Oh God… _Sweat broke out across her forehead and upper lip. She could feel the perspiration travel in a cold trickle down her spine.

"Miss Granger, aren't you feeling a bit more… agreeable?" He trailed a sickening finger again down her neck.

"Lucius, you are interrupting the interrogation." Snape said harshly.

Her eyes watered as she refused the revolting affections of Lucius in her mind. Once again he was forced backward, but it was more of a hopeless shove than when he cleared fifteen feet before.

She retched a bit and spit on the floor. Her hands pounded against the sterile floor and trembled in fear, the significance of what was in the glass hit her. "What did you give me you bastard!!!" She was screaming at Lucius, who was laughing, but Snape thought at first Hermione's comment was directed toward himself.

"Damn you!" She cried. She suddenly wanted to touch _everything_. She moaned a whimper of yearning. "What did you add?" her voice a harsh raspy whisper. The after effects of the Cruciatus were deeply felt as her abdomen contracted in both pain and pleasure. She was in excruciating agony. Her nails were beginning to claw at the ground. On all fours now in a plea for mercy, she looked up at Severus whose dark eyes could not waver from the gaze of the distraught, anguished young woman.

He looked at Lucius with a question— Snape knew he had only given Veritaserum, but had dissolved it in a glass of water provided by the untrustworthy man to his left.

"Leftover from the revels my dear. Lust potion…" he said silkily. "Isn't your body _crying out_ for contact now?" _Refuse me now, Mudblood bitch_.

Lucius had gone way too far and Severus was about to cast an Unforgivable. _He could forgive himself for that._ _With all of her previous desires filling her, this must be the worst torture._ And still he could do nothing but watch as Lucius advanced on her once more.

"Damn it, Lucius! Now she won't be able to talk at all!" he growled, and considered quickly about how close the nearest antidote would be and how much time it would take to retrieve it. They of course, kept a supply on hand but he didn't wish to leave her alone. Avery and Lestrange had a habit of being rather heavy handed with it, overdosing many an uncontrollable girl. Of course, in Hermione's case, any amount was enough to nudge her off the cliff of restraint.

Hermione let out a blood curdling scream, trying to dispense the raw energy contained within her. She was losing control, unraveling and she knew it. The closest person to her was the man of her dreams in a den of hell. _Help me._

_Severus felt a tugging within him as her eyes begged him… asking for something both mercy and pleasure. _Suddenly, as Hermione's tormented heart wrestled with the duality of her feelings, both wanting to satisfy her hunger and protect him, there was a flash of white light erupting from her.

Between her and the two men, stood a tall ethereal beauty_ Gaia._

"You will not harm her!" She bellowed, her voice reverberated off of the walls. Gaia looked straight through Severus' eyes that contained her other twin. He felt the connection. He had almost forgotten about his own ability to call forth the ancient leader within him. But Hermione hadn't called her name either. Gaia had obviously felt that it was time. Remus had said the goddesses could act of their own accord, and Hermione appeared quite beyond asking for help at this point.

Severus and Lucius were terrified beyond words. They stood unmoving and nearly knelt with the force of her command. She was a Goddess. Gaia stood before them, all-powerful and frightening to a degree Voldemort could never hope to aspire.

"Now Hermione, reach for the wand…" Gaia instructed.

Severus in his moment of dumbfounded shock had dropped his wand to the floor. Hermione was lightening fast, desperate for an out…any out, and grabbed it before Snape could retrieve it.

Gaia was a tangible wall of light, and as Snape stupidly attempted to reach for his wand her aura burned his hand severely. He quickly withdrew it in pain. At least Lucius could still be fooled into thinking he hadn't wanted to help her.

She felt strangely odd, bound in some way to the core, very much like she had in Ollivander's the first day with her first wand. A few sparks flew out from the tip of it. Her own wand was long gone, but his felt familiar somehow. She didn't dare apparate, she's splinch herself and decided to risk a portkey. _What were the odds that she could use his wand as well as her own? Go figure._

She removed her shoe and pointed his wand at it. "Portus!" Dropping the wand, she picked it up the portkey and was sucked into safety.

She was heaving, still on her knees in the middle of the vacant Great Hall where this had all started. It was barely daybreak and Remus was just entering for an early start on his day. Dumbledore wasn't far behind him, seeing Hermione's image reappear in the mirror moments ago.

"Hermione!" Remus rushed to her side.

"Get away from me!" She screamed and cried a heavy sob. Still on her hands and knees, she was feeling very impulsive— desperate and sexual. Remus heard it in her voice and picked up the scent of arousal on the air as he drew near. This girl was in serious trouble. She got up and lunged for him, but the wolf was quick and secured her arms in front of her in restraint. She wriggled and writhed against him, screaming wildly. He did not let go.

"What on earth?" Minerva exclaimed from the doorway. "Remus, let her go!"

"No, Minerva. It's alright," said Dumbledore in an unconvincing tone.

"What did they give you?" Remus murmured to her, trying to calm the wild Gryffindor. His tones only served to arouse her further and she cried in humiliation.

She managed to eke out the words, "Lust potion… need antidote. Please…" She was sobbing between her efforts in trying to gain as much body contact and stimulation from her close proximity to Remus as she could. It was a horrible feeling. She didn't want to do this, and yet she did.

"Remus, bring her to my office please." _Thank Merlin it's early, Dumbledore_ thought. At 5:30am, everyone was still in bed. At least he wouldn't have to explain the mysterious return of Hermione Granger before he had answers.

It was awkward for Remus to walk toward Dumbledore's office while holding the violent girl. And if Remus had any trouble with it, Hermione couldn't tell. He seemed to be doing fine despite her thrashing.

Remus took the stone steps one at a time, almost losing his balance when Hermione kicked at the wall. It wasn't on purpose; she was entirely out of sorts. It motivated him to run up the rest of the way just to ensure that they didn't both take a nasty spill.

She used his wand. Snape was speechless. At least she left it behind. He had been racking his brain on how to rescue her without getting either of them killed, or blowing his cover. In the end, she had done it alone. Hermione Granger didn't need his help. She got herself in, and she got herself out. He snapped to his senses— Lucius was still pretty shocked as well from the display. Until now, none of the Death Eaters were aware of the blessings and Goddesses. He couldn't obliviate Lucius, the missing information would be noticed by Voldemort.

"Look what you did! What the hell was that? Lust potion?! You are absolutely mad," Snape snarled.

"What I did? She would've told us anything after the potion I gave her," Lucius said in righteous anger.

"She was already telling me what I wanted to know under Veritaserum!" Snape shot back. He used the hem of his robe to pick up his wand and, for Lucius' benefit, made a show of wiping her filth from it while showing an expression of disgust.

"How did she use your…"

Snape spun to capture Lucius' eyes with a threatening gaze. "I don't know how a _Mudblood__ like her_ was capable of wielding _any_ wand, but if you _ever_ speak of this to anyone under any circumstances you will find lethal poison in your morning tea." Snape's words were a deadly calm that Lucius had to take seriously.

Death Eaters did not make idle death threats to their own. Never, actually. Always to others, or to their families, but _not_ to their brothers. It was shameful that the Granger girl had even touched his wand at all. But using it? It was miracle she was not grievously injured. Lucius knew his own wand would hurt anyone who touched it, the snake on his silver wand sheath charmed to bite anyone who attempted to wield it.

"Of course, Severus." Lucius was already considering how to use this information as blackmail if he dared.

Snape straightened himself and began to exit the room. Best to let Lucius explain what happened to the Dark Lord and let Lucius suffer the fallout. He had to make sure Hermione was alright. "Now, I have to return to Hogwarts and see if she is _actually there_. You better hope she's not, otherwise we'll never get her out and the spell will be completed. Merlin, knows where the portkey led." _Please let her be there._

Snape cursed under his breath as he left. There was no way Lucius would be able to avoid telling Voldemort what happened without lying. He was not stupid enough to lie to Voldemort. _Maybe Gaia had special magic that permitted her to use his wand, their connection permitting her to draw on his magic..._ Perhaps Ollivander would know.

Snape was weary on his return, holding an odd twinge of excitement in his gut— a hopefulness mixed with sheer terror that she may not in fact, be there. A few moments later he was not far behind the group, relieved to see her safely in protection of Dumbledore's chambers. And there she was, writhing in her suffering but safe nonetheless. He carried the antidote in his hand, disturbed to see the rather intimate position he found her in, in the arms of Remus Lupin.

Hermione was cursing and it wasn't pretty. "Damn it! Fuck! Let me…GO!" But she didn't mean it. She felt him more than saw him. She couldn't bear it. _Not you, not here. _

Remus' arms crossed on top of her own, and she became aware that they were rubbing against her chest, aggravating her condition. She took her hands and yanked on his forearms pulling them underneath her breasts, instead of rubbing on top. _Damn it!_ Now her cleavage was pushed up and quiet visible in her button front neckline. With her wriggling, her blouse was crooked, exposing a flesh tone bra strap. Looking down she noticed it, both aroused at her state of dress before Snape, and embarrassed that this was in public view of everyone.

"Come on, Miss Granger. I have the antidote." Snape began to lift it to her lips and she shut her eyes tightly.

_Don't look, don't look_. She was moaning and could scarcely still herself enough to drink. She glanced at his fingertips around the neck of the vial. _His fingers… _"Don't touch me! For the love of God, don't touch me!"__

He was hurt, feeling slighted by her rude outburst but tried to rationalize that it wasn't personal. _It was the potion talking._ At least that's what he tried to tell himself. It was a blatant reminder that he was universally disliked and repulsed by everyone, but such vocal rejection hurt him nonetheless. Snape took the opportunity to empty the contents into her mouth while it was open.

The potion went down at once and Hermione regained the tiniest measure of control. Remus, gratefully, did not release her even though her shuddering subsided a bit.

Even after the potion took effect, she did not look at him. _Not even a 'thank you'. _Snape kept silent.

"What on earth is going on here?" Cornelius Fudge said, stepping out of the Floo. "Miss Granger, you have finally decided to grace us with your presence."

_Oh great, him. _She tightened her lips in pain, still dying to answer his question. She was still under Veritaserum and could feel it pressing her will to answer.

"Don't ask me anything! Please." Hermione covered her mouth with her hands so she could create a dam to prevent a river of words from flowing off her tongue with any unexpected questions. As if that would work.

"Excuse me Miss Granger, but it seems that you, young lady, have a lot to answer for." Fudge began. It was all he knew really, focus on the little things, lose the larger picture.

It was Dumbledore who surprised her. "I think it is not quite time for that Cornelius, but perhaps it is time for you to share with us the identity of who you are so desperately trying to protect. We could help you." His voice was kind but firm.

_A suggestion really, not a question…yet. _Hermione had no doubt he would force her to talk eventually. She managed as the weaker truth serum was wearing off, "I didn't tell Voldemort, you think I'd tell you?!"

"Now listen here," began Fudge but he was cut off.

"No you listen! I am surrounded but no less than four men and I would just as soon shag all of you in less than five minutes if Remus were to let me go!" Cornelius paled as did Minerva and Dumbledore. She was very serious. Age made no difference.

"Give me 48 hours, just two days and I'll try to make this right. I'll talk to him. I'll tell him. I promise." _I give in. I can't do this anymore._

People glared at her, clearly disappointed with the solution. They wanted the name.

"You can forget it," she added. "I'm not telling you. I won't disrespect him by discussing this matter with you first."

Dumbledore found his voice. "Alright then. You may not leave Hogwarts."

"I have one errand. I have no wand," she explained. "I'm not going anywhere without help. But I need Remus…"

"Why him?" Snape inquired, surprised at his outburst. _Why him? You fool, you know why._

"Quite frankly, because he's the only one strong enough to restrain me," she bit out harshly. Lupin kept his tight grip on her and she was grateful. The lust potion was wearing off, but the physical reminder of restraint was helpful. Truly, she was more vulnerable than anything because Severus was within two feet of her. She caught Fudge's disapproving looks. "Don't worry, Minister. You can have a go at me afterward." She winced at the double meaning. "I'll stand trial or whatever."

"You most certainly will, young lady. Albus."

"Cornelius, good day to you. Thank you for arriving so promptly," Dumbledore replied smugly. He was already thinking of ways to defend the young woman. An angry Fudge disappeared through the Floo.

Hermione exhaled once Fudge left, removing her hands that she'd been using periodically to cover her mouth. "Thank God, he's gone."

"Why didn't you complete the spell?" Dumbledore asked reflexively, faster than Hermione could think to stop herself from answering. It was the question on everyone's minds and one that had not yet been phrased exactly that way. Now she was under a combination of lust potion and antidote, full of narcotic components which magnified the weakened Veritaserum.

Here in the presence of the object of her desire, she flew into an explosive and emotional tirade. Hermione tried to wrench free of Remus' grasp and slammed her hands down his arms. Remus trued to regain his hold.

"Because I couldn't stand to be pitied! That he would have sex with me as some sort of obligation, that I would have to be subjugated to the torture of his attentions knowing that each caress is meaningless!" She gasped a sob and sucked it up angry as hell. "I'm in love with him and there's nothing I can do! Sure the wards will come up, but what then? What happens to me, when I'm no longer needed?" She beat her chest. "Hogwarts is fine and I'm left with what?!!" Hot fiery tears flowed down her red cheeks and everyone in the room was taken aback at her blunt honesty. It was probably the most selfish thing she had ever said.

Snape was shaking inside, Gaia stirring uncomfortably ready to leap out and protect the struggling witch at the right moment to save her from divulging something she would not ordinarily share.

"You are left with the satisfaction that you finish what you started, Miss Granger. That you protected Hogwarts and the students in it!" Dumbledore's face held ferocious wrinkles, nearly all traces of compassion gone in her admission of selfishness. Everyone had lost sleep worrying about this girl and he was finding it difficult to forgive her.

He was about to speak but Hermione started in again,

"Great, be angry! Be all compassionate when Harry screws up, but yell at me! Aren't I allowed to make a mistake or two?! I'm just a _normal_ girl, you forget that I think. I can't always be practical, and this is as far from logical as I've ever gotten. Don't you worry— the wards will come up. It's a sacrifice my object of desire will be willing to make," she laughed sarcastically. "But if you don't _mind_, I'd like to take my NEWTS in a few weeks and leave _this_ year. I just couldn't bear to stay here after it's over." Her voice started out strong and changed to a whisper, her hands shaking, her chest caving inward. She crumpled with an anguished hiss, shaking off Remus' efforts to console her.

Dumbledore was reminded then of how much Hermione had endured, and how much she was still willing to give up to make sure that Hogwarts was safe. He had spent time to praise the SOS, but Hermione hadn't been here for that speech.

Minerva was choked up, as well as Snape and Remus who were also holding back some emotion at her outburst. Hermione Granger had just told them she was leaving Hogwarts.

"Miss Granger," Dumbledore said hoarsely. "I am terribly sorry you think we care so little of you that we would look for you and search for you purely to complete the spell. You are extremely important and dear to all of us. I will look into your desire to take your NEWTS early, if you feel you can do well. I will make arrangements for you to stay in your own room away from the common areas, if you wish."

"Professor, can I please be excused? I am really not in any position to talk now." She wiggled again, her wrists pinned painfully to her chest by an iron grasp. Snape glared at the girl and she was becoming irritated again by the presence of so much testosterone.

"Very well," he said with a sigh. Dumbledore was still very upset, but knew that it would not be a productive visit with Hermione in such a state.

Remus lifted her over the steps and her feet dangled as he descended the circular staircase. She began to feel better the more distance was placed between her and the Headmaster's Office. Snape's gaze bore a hole right through Remus' back. She had just returned and already she was slipping away again.

"So where are we going?" Remus asked.

"What— you forgive me?"

"I shouldn't judge you. Am I angry you left us with no way of knowing where you were? Yes. Should you have included at least one of us on your need to escape? Yes. But do I understand all the reasons why you thought leaving was best? No." His voice was firm, but honest.

"I need you to put me down first. I think I'm okay now really," she said more calmly and he finally released her on the front steps. She grasped her hands where bruises started to appear and Remus touched his wand to heal them.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"It's not your fault Remus, I'm the one who struggled."

"That's not what I meant. You've been through quite a bit, are you sure you don't want an ear?" Remus was offering again, so kind. And under normal circumstances she would've taken him up on the offer. But she was exhausted, and he was a man. And not Severus.

"No thanks, I'll take a rain check. I need to go to Diagon Alley."

"Now you're just being crazy."

"I'm not. I have one errand only and if I'm right it's early yet, still before the stores open and should be mostly deserted. Please," she implored, putting an arm on his forearm.

"Alright."

Snape watched from the window as the older man escorted her to the front gates and disapparated with her under his arm. He didn't know quite what he was feeling except that he didn't like it.

Millicent and Neville were walking back from Greenhouse three where they had been tending to Neville's Herbology project in the early morning hours. They had become quite an item in those months, all shocked Slytherins quickly hushed after being threatened by the formidable Millie. She had relaxed, not nearly having to be so tough to compensate for being treated like a lady. Neville was kind, handsome and yielding. He wasn't possessive and it was exactly what Millie needed. She wouldn't admit it yet, but she could definitely picture a long term future for the both of them. Neville tugged at Millie's arm and pulled her behind a large hedge.

"Not here!" She whispered loudly. Good grief, didn't he get in enough snogging last night?

"Not that, Millie! Look!" Neville pointed through the bushes and they could see Remus Lupin and Hermione Granger walking toward the front gates.

"Oh, Neville! She's back!" Millie wanted to run to her but Neville held her back. "What? Don't you want to…"

"Millie, maybe now is not the best time to talk with her."

"She probably just got back, why is she leaving again?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Maybe she finally asked for help. We can ask Dumbledore. Maybe talk to Pansy? Do you think she'd know?"

They watched them disapparate and left the bushes. Looking up the steps they did not notice Snape far off glance as he stood in an open window. They marched up to the Great Hall, to approach the Headmaster's office, running into Professor McGonagall.

"We saw Hermione," they said simultaneously.

Professor McGonagall pulled them both aside and said to them sternly, "We need this to remain secret until the spell is completed. Tell no one she has returned. She is still in danger, as I am sure you are aware. Am I making myself clear?"

"Yes, ma'am." Neville and Millicent replied.

"Now, return to your day. I'm sure you will hear something soon enough." McGonagall shooed them on and Dumbledore approached her from behind.

"Minerva…"

"Albus, we need to talk to Potter and Weasley. What about her parents? They at least should be notified of her safe return. We won't be able to keep this secret for long."

"She didn't ask for too much time. I think Hermione would prefer less attention instead of more." He shook his head and looked at McGonagall apologetically. "I think she was right. She anticipated my response too well, before I even said it. I regret how angry I was with her."

"Albus, you are a kind and gentle man, always have been. I have seen you show more compassion than I thought anyone was capable of showing. I think even you are entitled to slip up every now and again." She winked fondly at him. "Though I am surprised you seem to show more anger with Hermione for running away than you did with Tom for his foolishness. Of course I think perhaps you were so angry because something horrible could've happened to her."

Dumbledore wore a weary and sad expression. "I was frightened more than I'd like to admit. I wondered, did I fail her? What made her feel she couldn't come to me?"

"Oh, no you don't. Don't take all the responsibility of that for yourself. I'm her Head of House, and a woman. Do you think that's something that hasn't crossed my mind? What about her mother's? Maybe she simply needed to do this herself."

They had a special bond, anything else was only suggested by their closeness. Minerva could always calm him, when she was usually perceived as the fiery one. They complemented each other well.

"So, who do you think?" Albus asked.

"What? Are you suggesting we cast lots?" Minerva looked offended.

"What a marvelous idea!" He clasped his fingers together with an impish smile.

McGonagall scowled at him, then realized he was joking. Of course it wouldn't be the first time the staff had bet on things like this before, so it was hard to tell whether or not to take Albus seriously.

"Quite right. No betting," he gave a phony look of dejection, but was not too displeased with himself.

"I was thinking maybe Mister Potter. You know, maybe she fell in love with someone she couldn't have—her best friend's boyfriend?"

Dumbledore reared his head back and squinted at Minerva. He couldn't picture that at all. "You have been reading too many romances, Minerva."

"Oh stop it. I know it was a ridiculous notion. So… who do you think?"

"Based on what she said? I've been thinking about that…" and walking away, Dumbledore did not answer her question.

"Ooh! I hate it when you do that. Albus, come back here…" Minerva marched with her elbows out in a power walk trying to keep up with the man who she had said would be the death of her. He would haunt her thoughts mercilessly until she couldn't stand it. Therefore, Minerva would be pestering him until he revealed his guess. Once the spell was completed and the secret out, Albus could (and would) claim he had known all along. She hated it when he claimed he was right. _Damn all-knowing, self-important, smug, twinkling…_

Remus and Hermione apparated on the irregular cobblestones of a back alley in a magical offshoot of London. Hermione scanned the passage. "Can you put a Disillusionment charm on me so I won't be noticed? There still may be Death Eaters lurking about."

Taping his wand on her head, she went colorless. Taking his hand she led him to the side door of Flourish and Blotts. Remus had never been this way before, the side door was not visible from the street.

"A bookstore? Hermione…"

"Shhh!" She knocked a secret knock. "Take the charm off."

"They aren't open, Hermione." He sighed. She was still the same Hermione. "Finite Incantatem. I can't believe you're coming for books."

She just rolled her eyes. A hand reached through the door and welcomed her in, though he couldn't see the rest of the woman.

Hermione walked up the steps and turned to face her chaperone, blocking the view of the woman behind her. "I'll just be a moment. I'm not going anywhere."

"You had better not." Remus narrowed his eyes, extremely displeased with that promise. He cast a quick charm on her as she swept in the door. In essence an invisible string tied them together. She wouldn't be able to get twenty meters from him without being pulled back toward him. He peered in the window of the shop, but could only see them slip into a back room.

She followed her back to the familiar room— one Hermione had visited almost a year ago.

Buckwheat hooted happily, outstretching his wings in a greeting he saved for special guests.

Hermione smiled broadly, and nodded to the handsome messenger.

"Your safe! Hermione, I'm so relieved to see you." Katie admitted embracing the disheveled girl. Holding her back at arms length, she took in her state. "Oh my, did you just return?"

Hermione nodded.

"Did Professor Snape find you?" Katie asked.

Her mouth went dry. "I beg your pardon?" _Severus was looking for me. _Her stomach churned with the flattery and the guilt.

"He came here about a month ago, following a lead." Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Actually he found the book I sent to you and came to check our logs to see if you purchased it, and if so, where you had it delivered."

She sighed. Hermione knew people were looking for her actively, but it never really sunk in how much that entailed until that statement.

"What did you tell him?"

"Well, I couldn't very well tell him the truth... so I sort of faked an entry in our sales logs. He thinks you bought it from outside the Leaky Cauldron and had a bright yellow tropical bird named Chiquita deliver it to you."

"You're as sneaky as he is," gesturing to her feathered spy on standby. "Thanks."

"I didn't exactly know where you were, and just that morning Buckwheat had tried to send you a note but he couldn't deliver it." Katie's eyes showed the worry she had held since Christmas.

"Katie, I need an unusual favor from you. I must say, it does have to do with Professor Snape."

Hermione asked Katie to do something she had never done in her entire career. It went against her every principle. In the end, Katie agreed, hoping the benefits would outweigh the perceived risk.

Hermione emerged ten minutes later to a pacing Professor Lupin. "There you are. I tell you after four months, you make every minute seem like an eternity. Any more errands? Take in a bit of shopping?" He jibbed with heavy sarcasm.

"We can go back now, but I must ask that you not reveal to anyone where you took me today, alright?" Hermione asked.

"Are you serious? It's a bookstore, not Knockturn Alley."

"I am totally serious. Don't say anything to anyone. This is not a small thing." The severe look on Hermione's face implored cooperation.

Remus couldn't comprehend why she would need such secrecy, but took her at her word.

"Harry and Ron have worried themselves sick about you. Your parents too."

"My parents?" She sighed, feeling the guilt weigh her down. "How are they?" Dumbledore had hidden them last summer.

"After Christmas, they were moved to the Burrow."

"I don't know how I'm going to tell them. I'm glad they're with the Weasley's."

"A lot has been explained to them already. Don't worry; they'll be relieved to know you're okay." Remus patted her arm reassuringly.

"I hate to wait and talk to them, but it'll be easier if I take care of things here first. You think you can tell Dumbledore?"

Remus frowned. "Alright. At least he can tell them you're safe. But I can't promise your parents won't storm the castle to demand to see you."

Hermione knew that's what would probably happen. She almost dreaded the conversation. Actually, several conversations. The talk with Harry and Ron after the one with her parents topped her list. _And the one with Severus— God, what on earth was she going to say to him?_

Hermione asked her next delicate question on their return, not twenty-five minutes had passed since their departure. "Remus, when do you get out of your staff meeting tomorrow?"

"Seven thirty, eight o'clock... Depends on whether or not it lasts a half-hour or just an hour. It's usually pretty short this time of year due to exams. Why do you ask?"

"I make need to take you up on your offer of that talk tomorrow evening."

Remus escorted her to the private rooms Dumbledore had allotted for her. She needed privacy. "Is there anything else I can do for you, Hermione?" He genuinely wanted to be helpful.

She turned in the door to face him, her eyelids were getting heavy. "Keep all men away from me. I mean it."

"You seem alright now." Remus suggested. _She shouldn't be alone._

"I'm not," and she shot him a hungry look to show him she wasn't out of the woods yet. Truly, she just didn't want to be disturbed by anyone, and avoid the uncomfortable questions they would ask. She felt fine now that Severus wasn't in her near vicinity.

"Very well then," he added uncomfortably. He transfigured a straight back wooden school chair in the hall and Hermione frowned.

"Who's that for?"

"Me! Wotcher, Remus!" Tonks bright pink head of hair came into view with her cute freckled button-nose and an outrageous green tie-dye t-shirt that read, _I'm not Irish— But kiss me anyway_. She gave Hermione a big hug.

Remus waved a goodbye and Tonks started in. "Are you sure you don't want to be an Auror? Because until your capture by Death Eaters, which was deliberate as far as I know—still can't figure that one out," she scratched her head. "When you lay low, you lay _low_. I couldn't believe we couldn't find you in four months! Wicked, really. Bloody brilliant."

_Thank God, she doesn't seem that angry with me._ Hermione smiled. _Deliberate? I don't know if that's a complement or not._ "Tonks, it's great to see you, but I feel like crap. I really need a shower, or a bath. Or both." She hadn't bathed properly in a long time and felt nasty after her ordeal with the lust potion. It had left her sticky and sweaty. She was sure she smelled to high heaven.

"I gotcha. Right here if you need me." She winked and Hermione closed the door behind her

She cracked the door open and peeked out."Hey, could you ward the door and put silencing charms on it for me?" Tonks made a questioning face. "Don't ask," Hermione added.

Tonks cheeks now matched her hair.

Hermione didn't come out for anything all day. After a two-hour bath, and it lasted that long because she fell asleep in the suds, she took a six hour catnap on the large bed. Naked, she did not bother to crawl under the covers. Her damp curls dried in a tangled mess so when she woke, she realized she had to start all over again.

Severus paced in his dungeons toward the lab and back to his desk with no particular destination or task in mind. There were papers to grade, potions to brew and research to continue but he found himself unable to settle down and focus. Hermione was finally in the castle and yet still had not completed the spell. Gaia seemed restless within him and he felt the need to do… something. _What was Gaia there for if not to be used?_ Snape knew he wouldn't feel better until Hermione had completed the spell and the wards were sealed and permanent, though even then it gnawed at him that something wouldn't feel right about it. Secretly he dreaded the moment when the walls would shake and tremble from her joining with Remus. He didn't mention what she had divulged during the interrogation to Lupin or Dumbledore. He wanted to avoid the uncomfortable discussion with them about teacher/student boundaries, and certainly with his first hand account they would force him to stay and endure a long protracted discussion about every last detail. Snape could not bear that, so he said nothing. It was only a matter of time anyway.

_'Give me 48 hours.'_

In a reclined slump, the heavy weight of guilt upon him, Snape drank from a snifter of Ogden's while he had half a mind to give in and drink from the bottle. She weighed on his mind all the time now, not only in dreams but in daylight hours as well. He saw the empty chair in his classroom which usually held her rapt gaze, the bushy-haired vibrant Gryffindor, eagerly waving her hand in the air. No, that was further back. She wasn't that girl anymore.

_'Do it. KILL ME!'_

Such nerve. _'How could she love someone so much?' _Any student would've given in under such pressureBut she wasn't just any studentHe had pushed the thought off and blamed it on foolish Gryffindor bravery but she wasn't the same girl anymore. _Not a girl. A woman._ She held the convictions of her soul privately inside and her face held a look of steely determination. She was a powerful witch. He'd seen it that day in the Great Hall when she blessed him. He saw it again when she was willing to sleep with that man at the pub, and saw it in her eyes when she drank the Veritaserum, but tempted Malfoy with her eyes. He heard it in the laughter of her voice as she suffered through two rounds of Crucio, tempting those around her to kill her, desperate to end her suffering, seal the spell. Die for the object of her desire.

She was safe for the moment, and Snape was skeptical at her wish to put it all behind her. Yesterday, she had been willing to die for the spell to be ended. Yet she didn't quite anticipate how persistent Death Eaters could be. She would have talked, he was sure of it. He had even weakened the Veritaserum he gave her and yet still the truth spilled from her lips. It may have been because her interrogator was someone she trusted. Yet Malfoy's cruel attempt really tipped the balance. He was so relieved that Gaia had shown herself, offering Hermione a way home. That had been his only thought for four months.

He hated to see the way she cowered from him, avoiding his gaze even when he tried to help her. '_Don't touch me! For the love of God don't touch me…' _

_Gods, when had he ever hurt her?_ It was a painful rejection to bear, from the one student who actually truly paid attention in his classes, and one of the only people he had really permitted to work alongside him in his lab. He knew she was trying to limit the contact she had with men, but then Remus was holding her and she hadn't minded that. And after being released from Dumbledore's office she left with Remus. And the wolf was clueless, still looking after her in a paternal light. He had no clue of her desire for him— hopefully he would be gracious enough. She truly loved Remus, yet Severus still struggled with the reason for her flight. Perhaps she was uncomfortable with the concept that he was her teacher and was certain of rejection. Maybe she had concerns about his lycanthropy, though she needn't have worried.

Snape grew restless. It was over and yet there were still classes to teach and finals to prepare. She was going to tell the object of her affection that she loved him. Snape had only just found her. So why did he feel like he was losing her all over again?

When she had arrived at school she was writhing with sexual tension. Snape was so angry about Remus' contact with her. _No wonder she couldn't control herself. And no wonder she chose him for an errand. _And Remus didn't have a clue. Snape found himself beyond furious, he envied him, and loved her. Snape loved her. _Gods, is that true? Fuck, you know it is, you hopeless bastard. Now go have a drink and read some goddamn poetry._

Snape went to the glasses and his bottle of firewhiskey, but it was too early to be drinking that heavily, even on a day like today. If he started now, he would never stop.

Gaia seemed on edge all the time, and it worried him. Giving Hermione's rather carnal inclinations, Dumbledore had ended the spell on the mirror after a particularly compromising moment. She of course, would be visible all the time now, but at least they respected her privacy.

He couldn't obsess about it anymore, but wanted to check on her. She was in an isolated part of the castle and Tonks was watching her. She wanted to be away from everyone and rightly so. Even before taking the lust potion she struggled with her composure, he could see it in her eyes. Her self-control hung by a thread when she left Dumbledore's office. _Perhaps she would benefit from a potion to help her._

He swept down the dungeon hall to the steps and climbed toward the back halls. He climbed several flights of stairs until Tonks could be seen. When Snape came into view she bolted to her feet and confronted him.

"Relax." Snape said. "How is she?"

"You are the fourth man to ask," Tonks said brusquely. "Ron, Harry, and Dumbledore came by. Honestly, do you know what '_no men'_ means?"

Snape's jaw clenched. "I feel a certain responsibility to be here, and I don't feel like explaining that to you. Certainly my presence alone will not disturb her."

Tonks had her wand out, ready to hex him. Pansy and Melanie came up the back steps behind Snape holding a box of supplies and a hanging bag.

"Excuse us," Melanie said squeezing by.

"What are you two doing here?" Snape asked bitterly his eyes still locked with those of Tonks.

"Here to see Hermione. Don't look so surprised, we unlike you, are women and therefore are allowed to visit." Melanie's jaw dropped at the harsh tone Pansy used with Snape but he hated taking points from his own house.

They knocked and the door opened a crack and then slammed shut. "Damn it, I said no men! Are you out of your mind?!" Hermione screamed through the door in frustration, and pressed her body up against the door just to be closer to him. She could almost smell him on the air.

Pansy glared at Snape. "Please. She has radar and everything."

Snape gritted his teeth and left angry, furious that they would not even allow him to help the obviously distraught girl. "Allow me to at least bring a potion for her to help calm her."

"No."

He was shocked beyond belief. "What do you mean, no? She needs my help. Why would she refuse it?"

"She specifically said no help, no visitors. I believe she means to take care of matters herself." Tonks said, crossing her arms. She considered the matter closed.

Snape grumbled under his breath and stalked off.

"Don't feel bad," she called out to his retreating form. "She wouldn't talk to Dumbledore either."

Once he had left, Pansy and Melanie entered. Hermione looked at Pansy apologetically and they hugged. "Thank you," she whispered. She hugged Melanie too. "Thanks for everything."

Hermione retrieved the box with shaky fingers, hoping all of the potions ingredients were here. Pansy enlarged a small cauldron and Melanie hung her hanging bag in the wardrobe.

"Here's the box," Melanie said to Hermione with a serious nod and enlarged it. Hermione looked at it a bit morbidly, it still had the unbroken seal on it.

"Did you have trouble hiding it?"

"Did I ever. I shrank it and hid it in the floorboards of my room. I once charmed it so small it fit in my locket and carried it around with me. But that just felt strange, like I was waiting for something bad to happen. Hermione, I'm so glad you're okay." Melanie gave her a hug.

"Thanks for bringing it. I hope you don't mind, but I need to speak to Pansy."

"Sure, Hermione. You know I'm here if you need me. Good luck." Melanie slipped out the door and passed by Snape in the hall of the way to her dorms, avoiding an interrogation about her visit.

Hermione continued to stare at it. It was the box Severus would have received on her death. Now she was going to use it for an entirely different purpose. It felt strange. She was here in the safety of Hogwarts, but did not feel as safe as she should feel.

"Guess it didn't work out quite the way you thought, huh?" Pansy said. She was trying to make light of the situation, and Hermione appreciated the attempt. She shook her head.

"I don't have my wand, can you light a fire for me?" Hermione set the cauldron on the stone floor and Pansy did the honors.

"What happened to it?"

"Death Eaters snapped it in half." Hermione was angry to even talk about it.

"Are you okay? Did they hurt you?" Pansy asked tentatively.

"I'm fine. Just had the wits scared out of me. Poor Kendra. You should've seen where they kept her. How is she?"

"Still recovering in the infirmary. One of SOS stays with her all the time, but it's usually me, Orla, or Melanie. She's not talking yet, but I can't blame her. She refuses to sleep in a bed. Madame Pompfrey had to transfigure a chair for her."

Hermione remembered the vision of the tattered, soiled cot in an empty room with no other furniture. She couldn't imagine the horrors and wished she could help her. Even virgin's blood wouldn't heal her emotional scars.

They talked while Hermione brewed a strong anti-lust potion. Hermione made careful notes of the stronger ingredients, becoming distracted every now and then by intrusive thoughts. Pansy noticed and kept her on track helping her to brew.

"I was so relieved when Draco said he found you, and then this happened." Pansy removed her robes and Hermione's eyes widened when she saw her arms and torso covered in Latin. She had been so preoccupied before she hadn't noticed. "I'm sorry. We tried to find you by casting a spell to increase your desire, make you desperate so Dumbledore could see you in a special mirror. Ginny and I wrote on our arms with grease marker at an Order meeting. We saw you writing runes in your hotel room."

Hermione sucked in a sharp breath. "That was you? I had just moved in." Hermione remembered it vividly. She didn't want to tell Pansy who she thought it was, playing tricks on her.

"We didn't mean to put you through that. But we were so desperate to find you. Ginny and I didn't really know what it would mean to have you gone for so long. When you grabbed the knife, we all feared the worst. Snape got so angry. You should have seen him. He cast a spell and knocked the mirror over breaking the spell."

Hermione was surprised. Hearing her describe the scene it sounded like he wanted to protect her. She shook her head. _He felt obligated to help._ She bound him to that when she blessed him.

"After Draco came back from seeing you at the bar, these words just started appearing over and over. Ginny has them too. We felt fine, but these aren't even the same words we wrote on our arms originally."

"Strange." Her voice seemed empty, not really listening. She was perpetually distracted.

"So… you're finally going to tell him?"

Hermione nodded as her unsteady hand added the powdered moonstone. The potion turned pink then the final iridescent lavender shade. It was ready. She bottled it and Pansy disposed of the rest. She didn't ask who he was. It wasn't necessary. Pansy didn't need to know why Hermione was doing this. It was obvious. She remembered how out of control she felt when coming back to face Draco. Hermione had been gone four months. The abundant writing covering the better half of her upper body was enough of a visual to guess that Hermione needed chemical assistance to keep her desire reined in. Pansy poured her a glass of water and Hermione took the dropper and put in three drops.

Hermione drank it down as Pansy prepared her objections. It was plenty strong and was surprised to see Hermione didn't budge. She didn't pass out, though she looked a little woozy.

Hermione walked to the pitcher and poured another glass, adding two more drops for good measure.

"Whoa! Don't overdo it!" Pansy said.

"Believe me, I'm not. Do you have a watch? I need to time how long this stuff lasts," Hermione finally spoke more than a few words, now that her emotions were in better control. She drank down another glass, and with shaky knees shrank halfway to the floor when Pansy pulled her to a nearby chair. Hermione's head was buzzing but the effect subsided quickly, much calmer now that she had taken nearly three times the normal dose.

Pansy glanced at the stopwatch Melanie had given her as a keepsake of the spell. Hooch had extras, she'd said. "Oops, I almost forgot…" Pansy pulled a file of contraceptive potion from her jacket. "I picked it up from the infirmary. You'll be needing this, I think."

Hermione stared at it before downing the vial. Hard to believe what she was finally about to do. All this time, she had longed for it. For him. And he would probably do his best to tolerate her. The potion didn't taste bad, but the thought of his distaste for her made her face screw up.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Actually," she said in a drunken drawl, "I'm trying my best not to -hic- think about it at all. Hic— Oops. I think maybe four drops –hic- would be fine, instead of -hic- five. Sskind of sedating."

"You think?" Pansy snapped and yanked the bottle hanging loosely from her grasp, setting it carefully on the sideboard.

"Any suggestions? How did –hic- Draco take the news?"

Pansy laughed. "He was kind of shocked when I practically attacked him. I couldn't explain things and then 'do the deed'. I kind of explained as we… you know."

"God, you could think and do _that_ at the same time?"

"Not really. He had to um… restrain me." She blushed. "I was a little out of sorts." That was an understatement. "How do you feel?"

"Randy as hell with too little coordination to be aware enough to -hic- do anything about it."

"Good enough." Pansy sighed.

Hermione hoped she'd be marginally sedate enough to have some kind of civil discussion with Severus. Then again he may have to employ more extraordinary measures to control her— otherwise, he may not get out alive. She thought of the possibilities and her mind stirred with thoughts of ropes, handcuffs and silk scarves. Ugh… she had to keep those kinky thoughts in check otherwise she could never control herself long enough to get the words out.

Pansy finally left after recapping the semester. Hermione went into some detail about her life in the cave and the bar, then swore Pansy to secrecy. She left Hermione's quarters with letters for Ron and Harry. Hermione was entirely unwilling to have any contact with people who would ask too many questions.

Ginny had done her best to break the news of Hermione's return in private to the boys. Ron was completely hacked off.

"She owes us an explanation! She leaves off and doesn't tell us where the hell she is for months and we're left thinking the worst!" Ron was in full tirade letting off the steam he'd been holding in. He loved Hermione, and was more hurt than ever that she hadn't in some way included him in her confidence since last year. "Her parents are at my house, and Mrs. Granger cries in her tea everyday. It's awful! And what about her responsibil…"

"Ron, stop it! Just stop. It's not easy what she did, and she's the only one who can explain it. I'm sure if she could talk to you— to any of us, she would have. Just look at this," she said tartly, pulling up her sleeves and her shirt partway to reveal the carnal tattooing. "This is not a reflection of someone who's had it easy. She needs _al_l of our support. After all this is over, I'm sure she'll be free for you to chastise."

Ron looked down at his feet, still angry. Harry was relieved that Hermione was back, waiting for word like Ginny. He and Ron had tried to go see her and were refused.

Pansy walked in the Room of Requirement.

"Did you talk to her?" Harry asked.

Pansy nodded and ushered for Ginny to come over. Harry and Ron were feeling put out again, until she gave letters to each of them. "She loves and misses you," Pansy passed on. "Be patient. She's going to need our support soon."

Ron walked over to the corner and sat in a chair. This is what he'd been waiting for, but he was still angry it wasn't her in the flesh explaining this to him. He broke the wax seal and unrolled the letter. It was the messiest thing he'd ever seen, certainly from her. It was covered in hasty scratch-outs and tearstains.

_Dear Ron,_

_I cannot pretend to know how angry you must be with me for worrying you all so much. I apologize if this letter seems unorganized—I'm not in a real good place right now._

_It was so hard being away from you, but harder still thinking I could never come home. You probably think I'm pretty selfish in not finishing the spell and you're right. I made things way too complicated and they are really very simple. I love someone, and he probably won't ever feel anything for me. That's it. There are other details but it's all semantics._

_God, Ron. Why couldn't it be you? Things would be so much easier if you were the object of my desire. I know we agreed on being friends a long time ago, but really—at least you would be good to me. You wouldn't make me feel horrible. _

_Don't worry, I have no doubt that the wards will come up. But I will need your support either way. I fully expect him to refuse me, and I don't know if I can bear to be kicked aside once my role is completed. Unless some miracle befalls me and there can be anything there to develop, I don't expect to confess to anyone who it is. Maybe one day, I'll tell you about it. _

_I'm rambling. Please don't hate me. I need you guys, and I'm sorry I haven't been there for you like I should have been. I'll talk to you in a few days when this whole thing is over and done._

_Love, Hermione_

All of the color drained from his cheeks, and his hands trembled as he read her letter. _How could he be so insensitive?_ _And who would kick her aside? Who couldn't appreciate and see all the wonderful things in her? _She needed them the whole time and couldn't talk with any of them. _She's sorry she wasn't there for him like she should have been. _Hermione was his best friend and had been there for him loads of times. It was her turn— he'd be there for her.

Harry sat across the room, reading his letter in shock at the content. Her disjointed thoughts were only glimpses of her experience. This was a far cry from her usual concise and structured letters. Hermione had really been through it.

_Dear Harry,_

_He's not so big and terrible as he'd like to think. And I can't wait to see you kick his bloody arse off the map. Voldemort tried to look at me, steal my thoughts and he couldn't. I think it was my Goddess, I'm sure of it. So you study Occlumency as hard as you can, because the look on his face was priceless when he saw absolutely nothing. He's empty. He has nothing. Oh he's scary all right, but you have everything you'll ever need to beat him. I see what Dumbledore was saying all along about you. Have faith in that._

_I was terrified out of my mind. I could've ruined everything after being captured by Death Eaters, and I don't know how I managed to hang on. It's a long story, but when it comes out I don't know what's going to happen to me._

_I don't know why I didn't come home right away. I tried to leave with Kendra, but I couldn't reach the portkey._

_I feel like I failed you. All this time, you have this big destiny and when it was my turn, I ran. Not a very Gryffindor thing of me to do, I know. When you find out all the reasons why I hope you won't be angry with me. You would call me stupid and foolish. What happened doesn't make any kind of sense. Please understand. At least you and Ginny get to be together. I'm not going to be having any luck with my circumstance. _

_I'll talk to you soon, in a few days. When the wards go up, don't come running after me, and help protect my privacy please. I'm going to need some time. Maybe I can stay at the Burrow._

_Love, Hermione_

Harry felt a deep ache in his heart in reading her letter. To a degree, she knew what it was like to bear a horrible burden. She had faced him, Voldemort— alone. It was a miracle she was alright. Maybe one of his friends finally understood what that felt like to face Voldemort. Now he wouldn't feel so alone.

Ginny had told him after Christmas they expected it to be over and done with after the spell. How wrong they were. When Hermione left, they all thought it was for a little while, not forever. While he was angry at her departure, in his heart he believed Hermione had a good reason for it. After Sirius died, he felt like leaving too. Chucking it all, he expected to pack up and leave to God only knows where with no particular aim other than to get as far away from everyone— the school, Dumbledore, Snape, and everything that reminded him of his obligations.

He reread her letter. _She felt like she failed him? _He identified with that fear all the time, but the idea that Hermione Granger would ever consider herself a failure at anything was incomprehensible to him. When they were younger, they felt like they knew it all, could do anything—and now that harsh reality of death, destiny and doom loomed over them they could only feel a sense of flawed inadequacy. He wondered if all the Order members felt it, as they pressed on with the daunting task of defeating Voldemort.

Ron was looking pretty shook up in the corner, and mysteriously quiet. Harry was sure she had written different things to each of them, and while they were accustomed to sharing everything, this did not quite seem the time to discuss it. Harry sat unmoving as he watched Ginny's mouth drop in shock with some of things Pansy quietly shared with her in the corner. They would wait.

Harry left to see Dumbledore. If Hermione wanted space, he would make sure she got it.

Hermione vacillated back and forth between telling them about Severus versus keeping it secret. From one moment to the next, she honestly didn't know what she'd do. She settled for another bath, a new dose of anti-lust potion and drifting off to sleep.

When she woke, she didn't know what time it was and fumbled for her watch in the belongings Melanie brought for her. _Ten thirty. Damn_. _Nine more hours._When she closed her eyes she could see and feel him, and when she opened them, she could make out his face, black fitted vest, cape and trousers. _His hands looked all the more appealing against the tight black sleeves that hugged his wrists. So much was hidden, but his deep piercing eyes communicated an intense persona. God, how could anyone not find him sexy?!_

Her desire swelled within her again and considered foregoing the glass of prepared potion. A knock on the door made her reconsider, and she drank only half, barely keeping her strong emotions at bay. "Who is it?" she asked tentatively. _It had better not be a man._

"It's just me," Tonks said.

She opened the door. "Snape said he brought this back for you from… wherever you were." She held out her book bag and Hermione visibly paled.

_Had he looked in it? _"Thank you," Hermione murmured, still a bit stunned. "Wait, I need to give you a note to pass to Ginny." Hermione scribbled it on paper and gave it to her.

"Hermione, you need anything else?" Tonks was trying to offer her another ear, but knew she wanted privacy.

Hermione thought a moment, and decided carefully. "Do you think you could make a clear path to the fifth floor? I'd like to get out of this room and play for a bit."

When Tonks departed, Hermione sank into the bed. Rummaging through her things, she found that everything was as she'd left it. Pulling out the bottle of Ogden's, she noted it was still almost full and the missing the green ribbon. At least she could be reasonably sure he hadn't figured that part out.

She sighed relief at the absent clue, the dead giveaway she expected to be still on the neck of the bottle, and retrieved the forgotten adornment from her left jean pocket. She had kept it for some sort of luck, and now that she was safe inside the walls of Hogwarts, she guessed it had worked like a charm.

Nine hours seemed like an eternity to wait and she worried again about his response. Glancing at the contents of the items emptied out on her bedspread, her eye caught the rosary. _'When was the last time you prayed?_' she could hear Sister Mary ask her. Hermione felt guilty for not talking to God about her worries earlier. He knew her heart of course, but she needed to be open to him. She needed the comfort only her faith could provide at this point. It would be easy to pray a selfish prayer— ask God to make Severus notice her, give her a chance.

_'He will not refuse you.'_

Hermione prayed, silently trying to reject the more selfish thoughts in her own mind._ God will not refuse me. _She breathed, in and out. She felt calmer, only just. When Hermione opened her eyes the dove alighted on her window as it had in her dorm and in the forest, if indeed it was the same bird. Still on her knees, Hermione reached up to open the windowpane very slowly so as not to startle him. The dove hopped in and Hermione watched the animagus transform into her guide.

She was speechless. _All this time._

Sister Mary gave her a broad beautiful smile, the one that belied her age and made her face so much lighter than the circumstances which surrounded her. "Hello, child."

Hermione hugged her because she lacked the ability to say anything coherent. She had confessed nearly everything to Sister Mary and had obviously kept her confidence, trusting her to come to the right decision all along.

"How?" Hermione asked.

"How what? How did I know where you were? How old am I? How come I didn't tell you I was a witch earlier?"

Hermione nodded. Sister Mary shook her head and pulled Hermione to a standing position.

She sat on a nearby settee, and patted the space next to her. "My dear, I learned long ago that many things that happen can not always be explained away by science, math, and magic. How did I know where you were? I didn't. I don't think it was sheer chance that I happened on you however. I don't believe in chance. God has his own plan you know."

"And why didn't you tell me you were a witch?"

"Because it is only one aspect of my life, and is no longer as important to me. Put simply, I am _also_ a witch. Being part of the church fulfills me in a way that magic never could." Her face changed a bit, a little sadder. "I fought in the war against Grindewald long ago, and then I left the wizarding world. I practice very little. Most people have forgotten about me, except the older wizards and witches of course. I still keep up with current events as they are, but choose not to get involved with that. I have paid my dues and they were dear. The war hurt me deeply, and the church helped me to recover from that."

"What about what you did to Malfoy?" Hermione said. She had seen from the bushes.

She laughed. "Ah, my dear, someone my age never loses their touch. The Power of the Innocent, you know." Sister Mary winked.

Hermione wondered if she may be the oldest virgin alive, but dared not ask.

"You have had quite a bit on your mind lately," Sister Mary opened.

"He hates me." Hermione knew it wasn't true, but it felt truer than the converse statement.

Sister Mary had seen Professor Snape at St. Peter's and later in Albus' office. She knew. But Hermione needed to find out for herself. "Your love is yours. It _belongs_ to you. He may reject it, but he cannot destroy it. What you _give _Hermione, is yours for _good_. What you keep is lost forever."

They sat and talked for a long while, Hermione finding more solace in Sister Mary's calming spirit than at the bottom of a flask of tonic.

Tonks warded the room heavily and snuck quickly to Gryffindor House. She caught Seamus as he was exiting which earned an appreciative smirk from him as he read her shirt which captioned: _I'm not Irish… but kiss me anyway._ Seamus didn't dare.

"I need to see Ginny Weasley, is she here?"

"Um… sure." He leaned his head back into the common room and yelled, "Hey Ginny! Someone's here for you!"

"I could've done that," she said.

Ginny bounded down the stairs in casual clothes on a Sunday. Seeing Tonks, she slipped out the front door. "What's up?" Tonks passed her the note and she read it. _'Please come see me and bring Harry's invisibility cloak. Don't worry, I'm not leaving.'_ Ginny smiled in amusement. It was good she'd mentioned that bit about not leaving, because it was the first thing that came to mind in sharing Harry's cloak. It was always used for missions.

"I'll be right back." Ginny left though the portrait hole and retrieved the cloak from Harry. He knew better than to ask questions at this point. She left back through the portrait hole and Tonks explained to Ginny Hermione's wish to go to the fifth floor.

"That's that special room where you've been holding your DA meetings right?" Tonks asked.

"Among other things," Ginny said, with wider eyes. She wasn't about to explain exactly _how _useful that room could be. Pansy caught them in the hallway on the way back to her room, and followed the pair.

"Does she want company?" Pansy asked.

"Don't know. Let's see. Finite incantatem," Tonks said and the silencing charm on the outside of the door lifted.

All three of them flushed pink. Noises could be heard from the room, and she could faintly make them out. Hermione was only inside by herself, so Tonks quickly replaced the silencing charm and sat in her chair. They waited twenty minutes and then Tonks sent a note through the space under the door.

When it flew under the door the note said clearly, 'We're here to escort you to the ROR.' Hermione was still decompressing after her last orgasm. Avoiding the short-term benefits of masturbation while alone in her room, in her current state, was near impossible. She composed herself and washed quickly, drinking a full glass of anti-lust potion. She wasn't woozy anymore, and wondered if she could already be immune to it.

She walked to the door, and opened it tentatively. Ginny held out the invisibility cloak and then hugged her tightly. Hermione couldn't miss the markings littering her skin like Pansy's.

"I'm so glad you're back, and you're okay," Ginny said. "It makes a big difference that I can see you with my own two eyes."

"Thanks. Can we go?" Hermione slipped on the invisibility cloak and waited until the three women gave the 'all clear'. She marched up the stairs as quickly as she could, slipping out of sight of students enjoying the weekend.

Hermione paced back and forth, thinking about the piano. Once she opened the door, she was afraid to look. She spent so much time thinking about sex, she was afraid what the room might provide. Mrs. Weasley always said, _'don't trust anything if you can't see where it's brain is at.'_

Pansy saw her hesitation and knew right away what she was afraid of. It haunted her too, the time she was preparing to meet Draco. If one thought about it too much, the Room of Requirement could really freak a person out. It was almost sentient.

Hermione stayed for several hours playing on the piano and singing when she could find her voice. Pansy and Ginny stayed only a little while, seeing they were not needed. Tonks also left, staying outside to give her more privacy. The sounds of the music echoed down the columns of stairs reaching Severus' ears. _She had moved_. Gaia stirred and settled. She was doing that a lot lately. She probably wouldn't rest until the spell was completed. He still couldn't figure out why his own Goddess hasn't protected Hermione when she was being attacked by Lucius. Perhaps she was as much protecting him and his role as spy as she was Hermione. In thinking about her, he found his feet carrying him toward the fifth floor. He stood in the shadows just down the hall listening for what chords he could discern, avoiding Tonks glance. The vibrations and stresses on the words betrayed the lines of the familiar tune.

_'…Why the Gods above me, must be in the know? Think so little of me… they allow you to go? When you're near, there such an air of spring about it…'_

He left silently. Snape had to stop punishing himself.

The staff meeting was droll and tedious. Even thirty minutes seemed like an eternity to professors who would rather be grading their end of term assignments than arguing about next year's Quidditch schedule, or who will proctor the NEWTS and OWLS.

He absently sipped his tea, unaware that it was lukewarm. The content of the discussion thread faded from the front of Snape's mind as he again became preoccupied with his feelings for the woman who blessed him.

She was so utterly beautiful… terrible… a complete mess in Dumbledore's office. Her hair was in disarray, loose from her bun. She struggled against Remus who was clearly having to grip her arms tightly at times. Her chest heaved with the effort to control herself. And while it pained him to hear her vocalize her suffering he could altogether admire her bold demand that she would accept no pity. _What happened when she came in? No, 'how are you? We are so glad you are safe…' No, no— it was, ' Tell us who the object of your desire is.'_

He knew just how she felt. Snape couldn't count how many times Dumbledore had asked him for news before inquiring about his health. But he also hated well-wishers. Dumbledore and Minerva had often made him feel pitied by his peers. And as often as the Order hung on his every word about Death Eater news as if he possessed some secret power, he could see in the same moment the unsolicited concern and pity in the eyes of people like Molly and Arthur Weasley, Arabella Figg and Poppy Pomfrey.

"…you would intimidate your charms students if you attend an examination on a subject you teach Filius!" Minerva snapped.

"And I suppose you want to proctor the Charms exam yet again this…"

The half-heard arguments of McGonagall and Flitwick brought Snape out of his reverie, a strange deja-vu. Who would attend which NEWTS and on what schedule was a subject beaten to death by the pair, and they had those conversations as long as he could remember. Severus had his own preferences of course, but was wise enough not to inflame the matter by inserting himself in the debate by participating, so he returned to reflect on Hermione.

Snape stroked his chin thoughtfully, feigning interest in the topic at hand while concerning himself with the man seated beside him.

Hermione Granger wasn't a woman to be pitied. And she was about to throw her virginity away, if she indeed still possessed her sexual innocence, to someone who looked on her in almost paternal fashion.

Lupin had spoken of her of course—several times in fact. He expressed concern when she had become distracted in class, had come to her defense when her purity was called into question. He was regretful over her disappearance and how the staff contributed by not appearing available enough to the students— and was genuinely hurt at her refusal of her offer to come to him personally with any concerns she may have.

Lupin fretted over her health that day after seeing her in the forest, feeling horrible guilt that she had taken her time to heal him and yet he could not save her. _Damn Gryffindor men. _Potter, Weasley, Lupin, Dumbledore—the lot of them used to see Hermione as a smart formidable witch, "the smartest of her age" _inside_ the walls of Hogwarts. _Once she left, what then did they think of her talents? Couldn't they see how resilient she was, how strong? _She survived in the cave for three months in winter, and then faced Voldemort himself, _wandless_, yelled at him and lived to talk about it. She got _herself _out. She didn't need their help, as much as it might make them all feel better and heroic for thinking she did.

_How on earth could man like Remus, who saw her as a weak, helpless girl in need of rescue— how could he truly appreciate her when she comes to him?_

Her two days was almost up, and it appeared that she was using every bit of time given to her. Snape held a begrudging respect for Remus, the boy who stood by and watched as his friends tortured him in school. Over the years they managed to put most of the past behind them. Remus was a respectful gentleman, and would make it easy for her, as easy as he could. Snape had thought earlier in the year that perhaps there was something between them, but Remus wasn't one to cross those boundaries. However, Remus had allowed himself to get too emotionally close to the trio, blurring the lines of student teacher with their intimate connections as practically family. _Hermione naturally felt attracted to his concern, _he rationalized. Snape scrutinized Remus' expression several times, which he didn't miss.

He stared at the werewolf. His hair was in disarray, always looking a little worse for wear, but sharp—astute always. _If he was so observant, how could he not recognize what a remarkable woman she was?_

"Severus?"

Remus must have repeated his name a few times. "Yes, what is it?" He asked a bit tersely.

"Is something bothering you?" Remus asked.

"No."

"Well at least we have the day off tomorrow," he said.

"What?" Snape asked. He had missed that.

"Minerva and Sprout were suggesting that the students would do better on end of term exams if they had two grace days to study. Also OWLS and NEWTS students could receive private instruction on those days," he whispered.

Snape felt relief at the news. It was likely that no students would dare approach him for assistance, and he might actually be able to take a break.

Hermione took one more bath. She had lost count. It was mental thing, a relaxing ritual, washing off the negativity and trying to don a confident attitude. Washing her hair the Muggle way, using products that could be found at any drugstore, Hermione had finally accepted her hair for what it was— a bushy, raving, golden brown stack of hair. Occasionally her hair held curls, on an off-day. She decided to stop trying to make it do unnatural things and work with it.

She laughed. Hermione removed the towel from her hair, easily able to obtain a foot of hair on each side of her head. After working at the bar, she grew accustomed to pulling her hair back, dealing with the rabid hair without magical means to tame it. Oh, Pansy had dropped by the Sleekeasy's, and she used it sparingly, a dab, just enough to deflate her hair and still look like herself. She had inherited her father's kinky waves and her mother's curls. Her mother always complained about how limp and thin her hair was. Hermione couldn't believe her mother would envy her volume. Everyone probably wanted hair they couldn't have.

After brushing it carefully, she took two sections of hair from the underside of it and wrapped it over the top, securing it to the back of her head with a tortoise shell barrette. The rest hung in kinky waves to the middle of her shoulder blades, with a curl stuck out here and there. It was her.

She gazed at the silk robes in the wardrobe, admiring them as she had at Gladrags. It hung shapelessly on the hangar, never worn before. She could catch the subtle impressions of flowers and clouds woven into the fabric, which could only be seen if they caught the light a certain way. On the inside her stomach was doing cartwheels, but at least on the outside she would look put together.

Hermione wondered if he would take her seriously. She laughed. _No really,_ w_ould he even give her a second glance if she was no longer a student?_ She put her shoulders back and took a good long look at herself. She no longer tried to look older, or be something she wasn't. She wasn't heavy handed with her make-up like she had done at the Yule Ball. She could only be Hermione.

She was about to make a fool of herself, as if she hadn't already. If it had been the other way around and he had loved her, as least she would have the decency to feel flattered by it.

Hermione spent a good deal of time in the mirror. Not primping so much and touching up her make-up, as she was getting up her nerve. She tried not to focus on the fact that she was about to sleep with him. The main thing was that she was about to be confronted, yelled at, or ignored and she had to give herself some kind of backbone. '_What you give is yours for good.'_

She took a deep breath. _Seven o'clock_.

Donning the invisibility cloak, she slinked down toward the dungeons. People were waiting.

The meeting began to break up, and Snape got to his feet quickly, preferring solitude to idle chitchat. As soon as he exited the staff room his thoughts immediately returned to the obsession with Hermione.

He swept down the hall, his black cloak billowing behind him, his footsteps pounding against the stone floors to the dungeons harder than usual. Snape was famous for being silent, stealthy even. But when angry and preoccupied, his footsteps lost that silent quality. Mercifully, he did not encounter one student on his journey to the dungeons.

It would happen tonight. He didn't know if he could bear to be here when the spell was sealed, when the walls themselves would shake with confirmation of her joining with Remus.

Hell bent on grabbing his cloak and having a drink or three in Hogsmeade, he flung open the doors of his dungeons which such force that they rebounded off the walls with a satisfying thunderous echo.

He did not at all expect to see the woman standing before him, regarding his rather alarming entrance with little more than amusement.

"Katie? What brings you here?" he asked quizzically. He didn't apologize for his entrance, of course she didn't seem to have been bothered by it. His discomfort over her intrusion into his private office was overwhelmed by his curiosity for her visit.

"I am terribly sorry, Professor Snape…" she began formally. She was always so proper. She carried herself like a lady, yet held back a power about her that was palpable. Like Minerva. Katie was someone who could handle herself—a tight fitting corset and lace sleeves could not disguise that. 

"Please call me Severus. And don't apologize. I'm just surprised; I usually don't leave my classroom door open," Snape sighed. They had at least done enough business together that she could call him by his first name.

"Severus. Could you ward the door please? I have a business matter to discuss with you," Katie said.

Snape furrowed his brows at her and complied, as she had done the same for him in her office. He motioned for her to sit, but she waved him off.

"Severus, I apologize but I must _end_ our business arrangement." Katie interlocked her fingers to keep from fidgeting.

"Why is that?" Snape asked, wondering why her discretion would be so important, especially now that the work was complete.

"Out of necessity, and at the request of the artist, I can no longer keep the confidentiality of your calligrapher a secret. I hope you understand. This is highly unusual."

Snape brow furrowed. _How could the artist make that request? And why would Katie feel compelled to permit it?_

"The artist is here to meet you, right through that door." Severus made to walk toward his study, but she held up a hand. "Please— wait until I leave. And before you enter, there is a box for you of an earlier work on your table, which should provide you with some answers." She held back her smile, in it's place she possessed a blank expression of professionalism which betrayed no secret.

Snape's gaze floated to his characteristically immaculate desk, devoid of any clutter except a quill and an inkwell. Instead, there was a thin black box and the Ogden's that he had sent as a thank you. He didn't quite know what to make of it. Katie had been so adamant about secrecy, almost more so than he would have been.

Katie made to leave and then turned to address him. "I would strongly advise you to pour yourself a drink Severus, and _before_ you walk through that door." Katie left the room and she shut the door firmly behind her, sealing the wards once more. _Good luck._

Snape wondered how Katie and the artist had gotten in. And he hadn't remembered leaving the door to the adjacent room ajar. He tentatively walked to his desk, intrigued by the distraction that had presented itself. _What was the big mystery?_

Taking her suggestion, he uncorked the bottle and poured whiskey into a crystal tumbler. He took a sip before turning to the puzzle before him. His long fingers lifted the square lid, causing air to be sucked into the box. The lid finally gave in and popped off.

The carefully penned note read: _'My first stab at the cover seal.'_

He lifted away the white acid free paper and picked up the perfectly square parchment beneath it with his left hand.

_'I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses…" _

The glass of whiskey slipped from his ordinarily nimble fingers, shattering to pieces on the floor. He stared at the seal, then to the sonnet which hung on his wall, and then at the broken glass at his feet. Reality imploded —his knees buckled and he leaned his weight on the desk.

_It can't be._

Severus quickly regained his balance. He had to know. Still clutching the seal in his left hand, he stormed the door to the study where they had shared so many evenings of research, and flung it open.

His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. He both knew she would be there, yet couldn't accept her presence. Standing across the room, facing the fire, she was dressed in the long silk crimson robes that finished in a flash of burst orange at the hem, the ones he had seen her purchase in Hogsmeade. Her hair was pulled back from her face, her hair in heavy waves down her back. He had never seen a more beautiful sight.

She stood almost frozen before him with a look of remorse, perhaps guilt in her eyes. The firelight flickered and caught the golder hues in her hair. Despite the darkness, her brown eyes sparkled with hope and interest.

Hermione had heard the glass break. She turned to face him and said again, "I'm sorry." She mashed her lips together and waited for the response she knew was coming.

Severus could not find speech to help him. His mouth hung open in surprise— he had grossly miscalculated his guess.

"You've said that." Another long pause. "You did the book," Severus said dumbfounded. That wasn't really what he was saying. "I thought… Remus…"

Hermione took a step forward. "Remus is like an uncle. I could never…" Her speech was a little slurred. "I'm so sorry," she sank into the couch. Tears welled in her big brown eyes, she felt so guilty for putting him in danger. "I was ready to tell you anything back there. I wouldn't betray you… I wouldn't. He… he would've killed you on the spot. Right before me," she whispered on frightened breath. Hermione felt gooseflesh on the back of her neck, remembering the danger they faced. "I put you in a horrible position…" Her hands fidgeted with nonexistent wrinkles on her cape.

"Hermione, I am always in a horrible position," Snape said taking the seat next to her.

She was shaking like a leaf, as fragile as he perceived her that day she found Remus in the forest, and then Snape recalled the events with Voldemort. He should have been furious, but found him incapable of hating her. _'Please don't do this… you'll regret it. Don't touch me…' _It all made sense. Her distractions in class, her behavior at the Yule Ball— why he wasn't propelled away from her during the interrogation, as much as he had desired her.

Severus was normally so confident and sure of himself in odd situations. He was good at improvising, always looking for the objective route. Now for the first time in years was finding himself at a complete loss.

"What's this?" he asked, picking up the flask of potion.

"Anti-lust potion," she replied, plucking it from his fingers and taking a swig. "It's wearing off quickly now."

He had meant to ask her something relatively benign, and now he felt more uncomfortable than ever. "You shouldn't drink so much of that…"

She drank again deeply and Snape was alarmed she didn't keel over.

"Right now, this is the only thing keeping our conversation going," she said. She placed the glass back on the coffee table but fumbled a bit and almost missed the edge. She scooted it back toward the middle of the table.

Snape looked at the striking woman to his left. His palms sweated and then cursed his bodily reaction. It was fine when he had thoughts in his chambers. Those could be dealt with, but now he had her to consider. _This isn't right._

"Why? Why me?" Severus got to his feet, and tried to put some distance between them. It was easier for him to pace than to reach out. No one had really reached out to him when he was younger. He always made sure he was the one to walk away first.

"Why not you? Severus…You have so many admirable qualities, and there's a terrible beauty about you. You take so little thanks for what you do. I don't know when exactly I started worrying about your safety, but I notice. I do. I've prayed for you by name for two years."

Severus snapped his head around to look at her, but her unblinking gaze revealed no deception. He had a vision of her at the Cathedral, kneeling, lighting candles. He was overcome with amazement at her admission and then jerked himself back to the bitter, disbelieving man he was.

"You can't love me Hermione. You don't _know _me," he said tersely.

"Don't tell me how I feel," she snapped, bolting to her feet and stalking toward him, her hands on her hips. She was ready for a refusal, but she would not permit him to tell her how she felt.

"You're too young Hermione. You have no idea the things I've done, what I'm capable of… You're not in love with me, it's that bloody spell," he said from an insecure place.

"Don't you dare patronize me!" She was shaking and pointed her finger at him. Snape was not accustomed to hearing anyone yell at him like that. "I know you're not perfect, but I know exactly what you're capable of, and while I don't know a lot about your past, it was dark enough for you to turn back. That takes a lot of courage to do something like that. I've loved you _long before_ we started that _stupid _spell— I don't know exactly when…" She covered her mouth with her hands and realized immediately she had said more than she wanted. She turned abruptly to face away from him.

"I'm sorry, this is so embarrassing." Her face reddened, ashamed to admit that she had loved him so long ago.

He took a step toward her, wanting to comfort her, but hesitated when his hands were an inch from her shoulders and put them down by his sides. "I saw you in the bar," he said, not knowing why.

"When?" she turned to face him, and took a step back when she realized how close they were standing. She wouldn't be able to resist him much longer if she didn't keep some distance.

"Dumbledore had a mirror, and you… propositioned a man named Jason," he said in a hollow voice.

"Nothing happened," she said, her skin flushed. "I just couldn't go through with it. I felt so out of control. The spell was relentless, it was almost a relief when the Death Eaters kidnapped me, because at least then I felt something different! The fear took over, the desire faded. But it was just temporary. Then you showed up, and I couldn't even look at you," she whispered. She couldn't meet his gaze even now. She didn't want to see the pity there.

"I thought I repulsed you." Severus said almost to himself.

Hermione grabbed his arm to look at him, and then released him. "God no! I'm just so… so…" she breathed looking into his eyes.

"You are such a _good _man. Smart, appealing in your own annoyingly condescending way…" Her voice trailed off when she broke eye contact to look past him, distracted by something sticking out of the lower coffee table. She cocked her head to examine the familiar page, which was sticking out of a slender red volume of sonnets. "Where did you get this?" She waved it in front of him.

"This was in the library at Headquarters." He snatched the poem from her before she could read it.

"You knew." Her mouth gaped open, and then closed as she saw his confused face.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I hate to love him, The exquisite torture of unrequited love, His voice and manner haunt my dreams in both sun and shadow… I would gladly accept an Unforgivable in place of the unforgivable betrayal of your identity. Sound familiar?" She rattled it off the top of her head, changing the possessives to fit.

Severus paled and looked at the prose in a beautifully formal hand. It was an original he had noted.

"I wrote it. About you. That day you interrupted me in the study, I slipped it into the book to hide it and couldn't find it afterward."

He ran his fingers though his hair. _Severus, you blind fool._ _Last summer even… All this time…_

"Now do you understand?" She had divulged everything, naked before him and he had shared nothing. She sucked in a breath of arousal, the potion was wearing off. She took another sip of the potion, and then downed the glass. Severus couldn't stop her, yet she appeared completely unaffected.

"Hermione… " He raised a hand to touch her cheek tentatively, not really knowing how to proceed.

She stood abruptly and pushed away his hand and moved toward the fire, facing away from him again. "You made your feelings about me over the years quite clear! Just… let's get this over with," she sobbed. "I should have come to you in January. I don't know how much more of this I can take." Inside her heart was breaking, resigned to the inevitable mechanics of the spell.

Severus walked to her and put his hands on her shoulders, warming them, turning her slowly to face him. He measured his words carefully. "No you shouldn't have. In January it would have been easier for me to reject what you said and how I feel. Hermione, I don't think I really knew what I lost— until you were gone." His long fingers outlined her cheek and lifted her eyes to meet his own. He wanted to show her his sincerity.

"Don't… just don't. Don't _pretend_! I know I'm much younger than you…"

"Foolish girl," Severus hissed, holding her tightly to him, whispering in her ear. "You think you are the only one who can feel strong emotion? That you are the only one who is afraid someone else won't understand?" She could feel his hands clutch her possessively at her shoulder and hip.

_How he feels…_ Her mouth dropped open in disbelief, shaking her head. "How do you feel?"

"I should be furious with you. I have been furious actually, looking for you for _four months._ You made me crazy with worry for you." He pulled back and searched her beautiful brown eyes, finding her soul in them. "Still don't believe me?" He left her abruptly and crossed into his classroom, unlocking a large desk drawer. She followed closely behind and saw him motion to look in.

He pulled two large stones form the drawer, the ones she used for bookends, and all of her textbooks, her notes and his book. _Everything from the cave.__ He saved it. All of it. _

"I've been over and over your work. It's very good," he crossed his arms in front of him and took a step back.

"I made the notes all through last summer, while penning your book," she said. "It's brilliant. I studied it all last summer. I promised Katie I wouldn't divulge my identity. It was hard not to introduce your work into our project. Really some of the finest potions literature I've ever read."

He looked at the book on his desk, knowing now it was the one he sent to her. "How did you get this?" He asked, running his hand along the embossed cover.

"Buckwheat. I don't know how he found me. Luck, I guess. He sent my note to Hedwig who passed it to Harry. Katie never knew where I was."

"You're very gifted," she said in a whisper. "I had fantasized about telling you, once I graduated. I also hoped my feelings would fade, but they didn't."

He walked to her and turned her shoulders to look him in the eye. "I'm glad they didn't fade. Hermione, ever since you left… you've stayed with me. If something had happened to you…" He gripped her arms so fiercely it hurt. _I love you._ He couldn't say it. He had no idea what would happen next, what would happen afterward. _'Sure the wards will come up, but what then? What happens to me, when I'm no longer needed?' _He didn't know what Dumbledore would think after it was over. He couldn't imagine returning to his former role. He shuddered to think how he could hide it from the Dark Lord. He didn't want to think about that now. The woman he loved was in his arms.

Hermione doubled over, her insides clenched with anticipation. "Oh… oh God— Severus, please help me…" She chewed her lip and looked up at him, her brown eyes filled with hungry demand, imploring his intervention. She couldn't restrain herself anymore, and the potion on the table was now worthless.

Grabbing her waist, Severus pulled her tightly to him in a bruising kiss. His tongue slipped past her lips to meet her own, leaning her back further into his arms. When she moaned against his mouth and bit his lower lip, it undid him.

He was so thrown by her voracious appetite. Her hands were everywhere, enthusiastically clawing at his back and around to his front tugging at the tight buttons which closed the front of his fitted frock. She was desperate… for him. And it was arousing as hell to know that she wanted him more than she wanted sex.

She pulled away and despite her state managed to make short work of his vest and half the buttons of the silk shirt beneath it. She slipped her hands in to brush the fine hairs on his chest and graze against his nipples. Every touch drew her nearer to the completion of the spell. Hermione was lost in her own rabid impulses and while Snape was caught up as well, here was not the place to see to her needs. Severus swiftly removed her hands from his chest despite her incoherent protests. He kissed her again to quiet her and deftly carried her toward his bedchambers.

Her skin was on fire, every nerve ending humming. She was lost in the sensations of his mouth and felt a rush of cool air hit her when they entered a different room. With a wave of his wand the room was warmer, a fire in the hearth, and candles to allow him to see her.

It was probably a lovely room, but Hermione had no interest in seeing anything except Severus. It bothered her that her first instinct was to keep her body as close to his as possible, when somewhere deep within her wanted them to slow down, take their time. When Severus stood over her she pulled him to the bed and rolled on top of him, grinding her pelvis against his own.

Severus could restrain her, but had no intention of doing that. He helped her remove his shirt and vest and unhooked her cape. The fine dark red silk that followed her curves slipped away, revealing a slowly plunging neckline. Her pale skin was a beautiful peach tone, and a lovely shadow between the valley of her breasts promised other wonders. She was becoming distracted by his gaze and her hands felt backward to stroke his thighs. The hem of her cloak was trapped underneath her and he lifted her to remove it, pinning her beneath his weight.

"Severus, I need you…" She wrapped her fingers around his neck and pulled his head down to meet her mouth.

His name on her lips was intoxicating, and she kissed him again.

"So long… I've been waiting so long…" she murmured.

His tongue moved against hers and he lost himself. He was suddenly startled by the uncomfortable pull on his trousers. Her hands were between them, one knuckle brushed against him setting all of his senses alive. He wasn't prepared for the more _direct_ contact, and changed tactics. Severus grabbed her hands quickly and flipped her on her stomach, pulling her tightly to him. Holding her hands together with one hand, he nestled his hips against her backside and unzipped her dress with his free hand.

She squealed and whined in the pillow beneath him, both frustrated at being restrained and aroused at the delicious sensations. He traced a finger along the curve of her back to her panties. Finally he released her to slip the dress off her shoulders and run his hands along her backside. He scooted lower until his hands dipped beneath the garment to rub her plump rear. He gasped at the feeling of hot bare flesh there. He slipped off the dress the rest of the way.

_Gods help me._ She wore a black lace thong which parted her creamy cheeks. Her thighs were already glistening with the fruit of months of pent up longing.

Hermione twisted rapidly, unable to wait any longer, but Severus was faster, clapping his left arm over her shoulder to keep her there. He shifted to lay on her left and draped his right leg over hers to secure her cooperation. He wanted to make this pleasurable for her. Taking his right hand, he rested it on her calf, running it in slow circles higher towards her thighs. Hermione's breath was coming in short gasps now. She cried out almost immediately, and Severus realized that due to the spell, nearly anything could happen and she'd be writhing.

He moved faster then, rubbing his hands and fingers on her skin. His heart was racing. He touched at the insides of her thighs and she cried out again. When he rested his hand over her bottom her hips bucked sharply and he stopped.

She was his, in his bed, calling his name. He wanted desperately to look at her and not her backside. He removed his arm that was restraining her and slipped her underwear off in one motion. At the same time Hermione flipped over quickly to grab him.

She was beautiful, her eyes fierce and passionate. Severus wanted her more than he ever wanted anything and he felt guilty for it.

Hermione caught it. That subtle look of regret and concern in his eyes. She was naked before him, legs parted wide, mouth open slightly. She reached up for him and the action pushed her breasts farther together in her black lace bra. "Severus, talk to me…say something…" she pleaded. She wanted him, but she wanted to know it was okay.

_Gods, to hear her beg for him._ "Hermione…" He breathed, pulling her up into a passionate kiss, and unhooking her bra clasp as he did so.

She kissed him feverishly, tears streaming down her cheeks. She was raw, unrefined. As the last of the potion left her veins her desire was free, and she was held captive by it. Her hand ripped at his clothing, her right hand quickly pulling him free from his undergarments. Her legs came up and kicked off his trousers in one motion.

Severus barely had enough time to register how very naked they both were. She was about to take things further, but he broke away.

"Damn it, Severus! Where are you… OH!"

Her hands tangled in his hair, encouraging him and his fingers were free. One found her breast and the other snaked toward her center. He looked at her periodically, their eye contact smoldering enough on its own during his ministrations. Without warning, her climax overwhelmed her and she came in a piercing scream. Her hands left his hair and reached under his arms to lift him up to meet her lips.

Her mouth was hungry and demanding like the rest of her. "No more foreplay, I want you now!" she growled.

He hooked his legs around her own, preventing the thrashing movements of her hips which might hurt her. She squealed in protest, no longer nice, polite or patient. Thinking of more formal restraints only aroused him further and he wanted to be in control.

"Severus, please…"

Severus kissed her and pressed against her smoldering flesh.

"Hermione wait.."

"Damn it, I want…" She wriggled, and bit her lower lip.

"What do you want?" he rasped.

He pushed a little, rubbing against her, enjoying her frustrated excitement, drawing it out.__

"Severus, don't stop!"

He looked at her and made eye contact. That was his mistake. He pressed a little at a time, and noticed how her eyes grew wider and her breath more shallow with each tiny movement.

"Severus!" She dug her nails into his back and gripped him tightly.

The walls of the castle shook so hard, he thought the room would collapse around them. A picture frame fell from a bookshelf and landed with a crash on the floor, as the spell concluded. The room was bathed in light and dispersed quickly, but Hermione seemed not to notice as she rocked against him. Her eyes never left his, and she relaxed.

Her face quieted and her face grew more serious and contemplative. She was reaching out to him now, with her heart and body. One of her hands held to his waist and one stroked the side of his face and pulled at his hair as he entered her.

Everything around them was still and quiet as they moved slowly, hypnotically now. _So beautiful…_

Her eyes began to close as her spirit climbed again. She forced her eyes open to take the sight of him in, and her breathing quickened.

Severus groaned and ached, unaware of his own labored pants as he watched her.

She looked happy. _I could make her happy_. The feelings that inspired overwhelmed him easily, bringing him swiftly to an inescapable peak.

Hermione saw his smile and kissed him tenderly, nipping his lips and tasting him with a tenderness he had not yet known from her. Everything up until now had been demanding, searching, unquenchable.

"Hermione… Hermione…" Severus fell forward lost in his own sensations as she brought him to oblivion, kissing her passionately and moaning her name against her lips. The feeling of love he held for her hit him hard.

Her face flushed, and he could feel her soaring again just after he was spent. His name was a whisper on her lips, so intent she was on his own satisfaction. He lay between her comfortably, his chest pressed against her, and their arms entwined. She kissed him and did not stop, despite his need for air.

She loved him, deeply. _Unconditionally._ He could see it in her eyes. The spell was over. The uncontainable, irrepressible desire had evaporated, but her feelings for him had not. She still wanted him. Desired him. Severus was at a loss for words, and could only wrap his arms around her and kiss her gently, the way he wanted to by the fire before all of this happened.

His lank, black hair hung around his face as he bent over her and she ran her fingers through it. It embarrassed him to see her warmly appreciate a part of himself that he had always detested and been ridiculed for in school. She looked at him in confusion, like she could see past all of his insecurities.

She kissed him— his face, each cheek, each eyelid and brow above it. Her fingers followed lightly along the creases in his forehead and crowfeet. She smiled. She was pleased with what she saw there. She rolled him over slightly and lay on top of him. Using her hands she kneaded his muscles, her hands exploring where they wanted to. She leisurely kissed his collarbone and traced it with her tongue, and when he made to speak, she shushed him with a kiss on his lips. She didn't want this to end, and he didn't stop her.

He looked at her womanly features— her eyes, her long hair, the shape of her neck and the curve of her shoulder. _How could she want him? How did he get here? _He closed his eyes as she kissed him and stopped asking himself such questions. _At least they have right now._

Severus allowed his own hand to touch her face, and caress her cheek fondly. His face held an expression of awe at her loveliness, taking in the sight of her body as if she were a work of art. Her breasts were full and round, enlarged from her arousal. He was hesitant to even touch her and then finally skimmed her nipples until they puckered and stood out.

Her mouth opened a little, aroused again by his attentions and descended on his lips. When she kissed him, he thought he could feel her heart beat against him, though the rhythmic thumping could have very well been his own. Hermione interlaced her fingers with his and then brought one of his hands to her mouth. She examined his hands, so graceful. She had spent so much time thinking about them. She released one hand and kissed it, palm first, and then each of his fingertips. She gave him a seductive look and took one long finger in her mouth, nibbling the end and sucking it down to his last knuckle.

_Merlin, woman… _Her eyes never left his, but they flashed a bit when she noticed his condition. She did not ask and kissed him down his chest to his navel. She pressed her palms flat across his hips, looked up at him wantonly, licked her lips and breathed on him.

He flinched. He gasped. _Gods what was she…Oh, Hermione..._

It took no expertise at all for Hermione to pleasure him. She had enough time lost in her own lustful desires to know exactly what she wanted to do. She did not let him sleep. She sucked and licked and stroked and prodded and slapped, until he finally relented and returned her favors.

They made love all night, but didn't identify it as such. They could not remember when sleep finally claimed them.

When she awoke, her body was spooned against him, their legs interlocked and her arms around his shoulders. She closed her eyes for a blissful moment. Their bodies were the same temperature, melting into one another. She couldn't tell where she ended and he began. Hermione wanted to savor this, burn it into her memory. She didn't want to breathe too heavily, for fear that everything would change before her eyes. By the sound of his breathing she could tell he was awake, but did not know for how long. She pressed her lips to his neck and kissed him, inhaling his spicy scent.

"Hermione…" his raspy voice held a hint of discouragement. He gritted his teeth.

_Oh God, not the lecture. The let down._ She knew it was coming and swallowed her emotion. "Shhh. I don't presume to know how complicated you life is, or how much more complicated it would be with me in it. But I want you know without a doubt— I love you, Severus. I will always love you. Whenever, if ever, you are ready for more— I will be here."

Severus couldn't say anything. He couldn't find speech. _What was he going to say?_ This was excruciating. Her harsh words from Dumbledore's office flooded back to him. _'What happens to me, when I'm no longer needed?'_ '_You are needed_,' he wanted to say. He could still feel her breath on his neck. He remained motionless, and her arms were still about his neck. Close enough for him to reach up and take her hand, roll over, start all over again. But he didn't.

Her heart pounded in her chest. This was it. She had to leave. "I won't tell anyone if you don't wish it. I respect your privacy," she said quietly. She wondered to herself if he would be embarrassed if it were known. Ashamed of her.

"If you are referring to the Headmaster, it is impossible for him not to know. He has ways," he said with a groan. He slipped back into the mode of Professor too easily. He couldn't stay here, with her, like this.

She bristled at the change in his tone, but she should have expected it. She got up slowly and spied her clothes on the floor. Her underwear was knotted up so tightly, she could barely make it out. She left her skin in contact with his own until the last possible moment. Seeing his wand on the dresser she waved it to clean and dressed herself swiftly.

She replaced his wand quietly on the dresser where she'd found it and moved to leave before he could object to her use of it.

"Thank you," he heard her whisper from the door.

His eyes closed tightly, too much of a coward to turn and look at her. His tears had already soaked his pillow and he dare not look at her leaving him.

When the wards came up, Pansy and Ginny said a silent cheer for Hermione and watched as the wanting words faded and vanished from their skin. It was shortly after dinner and the Great Hall was empty save a few stragglers. The blue pentacle glowed, showering the walls in a warm light. As the wards were made permanent, the blue light that had adorned the hall since Christmas finally subsided and winked out. Once the light of the spell dispersed, all of the members of SOS felt a sharp sting on their skin, down past their navels. Pansy hissed and ran with Ginny out of the hall to the bathroom to look.

"What is it?" Ginny said, having difficulty with her zipper.

"Shit. What... does it glow in the dark too?" Pansy grimly looked down at her bikini line with displeasure at her parting gift. Ginny just started laughing.

Even though the pentacle had disappeared from the hall, the spell left each girl with a 'little' reminder, at least a visible sign that they were united together in sisterhood. Not that it was needed—those girls were bonded for life. They didn't need a tattoo for that.

Harry sighed relief knowing that Hermione was finally free of her obligation. He looked forward to some return to normalcy. He missed her deeply—as a friend, with the DA, with everything. He relied on her a lot for her sound judgment and couldn't talk the same way to Ginny and Ron about some things as he could with Hermione. She had a very logical and nurturing way of keeping him grounded. He was so tempted to look at the map at that moment, but it was a breech of privacy she wouldn't forgive him for.

Legs crossed and head hung, Ron sat on his bed staring blankly at his transfiguration text. He had read the same passage three times already and still couldn't remember what it was he had read. The rumble through the Gryffindor dorms incited a fair amount of murmuring amongst students who fled to see what had happened. No one had really explained the tremors before, though all seemed to guess accurately that it had something to do with the wards and the pentacle.

Dean called upstairs, "Hey, Ron! Everybody's going to the Great Hall! Aren't you going to come and see?"

Ron didn't budge, and when Dean received no response he left Ron with his thoughts. Everyone was concerned with some stupid symbol on the floor of the Great Hall. He was far more concerned with his dear friend, a young woman who had probably wanted nothing more than to be safe and loved and home. _Where was she now?_ _Was she being kicked aside? Would she be okay? Was she being treated well? Could she talk about it? _He looked forward to hugging her, and listening— he would be sure to listen to her.He couldn't quite tell in her letter, but there was something else there. Something different. Something that told him things would never be the same.

Severus couldn't remember how long he waited before he finally got up. He lay in his bed until her heat and warmth had dissipated and the sheets left him cold. They smelled like her, the faint fragrance of flowers—jasmine and vanilla and sandalwood remained, mixed with the unmistakable scent of their lovemaking.

When he finally pulled himself into the shower, he felt heavy— though he had slept remarkably well. He had felt rested until he awoke, and then dawn brought what he knew could not ever be.

'_And why not?'_ he asked himself, turning on the shower.

'_She is your student_,' he could hear Albus say in his head.

Never before had he truly felt loved, and while it would have been easy for him to dismiss it, attributing it to her naiveté or the spell, he could not disregard her feelings. She had given a proper explanation for everything. Making love to him the way she had last night, so unrestrained and completely uninhibited, was explanation enough.

He rubbed his skin with soap, distracted by his thoughts. Closing his eyes, he faced the delicate spray— he could remember her gentle touches, slow and tender. She touched him beyond skin deep. _How could he have said nothing this morning? She made it so easy for him to back out. _He had been ruthlessly cold with his silence, preoccupied with his own fragile heart instead of her own tender feelings. And of the two of them, hers had been the voice of maturity. She brewed her own potion to buy her more time, to help her explain. When desire hit her she held it in rather than accosting him. She held nothing back and told him everything. He could not remember someone ever being so honest.

Severus beat his hands in outrage against the marble wall. _Gods how he wanted her, he loved her and he was still paying for his time spent as Voldemort's servant. When would it end? _He ran his hands through his hair and caught sight of the Mark. It was a greyish black which stood out sharply against his pasty skin in the shower. He ran his fingers over it, it didn't hurt at all. But of course, he hadn't been called recently.

In a younger day, Severus had his fair number of witches to bed—he could scarcely remember them now, they weren't that memorable. Of the women who had actually known a little of him— a very little of him, as Severus was loathe to share information with anyone— he felt those women had pitied him or at least he did not feel himself worthy enough to risk an emotional connection to such events, and risk a 'relationship.' That was long ago, and Severus saw little reason to persecute himself with purely physical encounters that left him feeling mostly unfulfilled.

Since the resurgence of the Dark Lord, Severus dared not entertain any woman, for he could be called at any moment or Merlin forbid—have yet another woman cry out in horror at the disgusting, black, cancerous skull which cursed the flesh on his left forearm. He had been quickly hexed more than once, but women who didn't curse him and instead approved of such a distinction left Severus uncertain of his decision to have them as bedmates.

He was waiting for Hermione's reaction, but it never came. She didn't appear offended, bothered by it, or even intrigued. Neither did she avoid it or linger over it. She accepted it as a part of him, kissing that part of skin like any other that night. The unconditional acceptance of him as he was, scars and all, was enormously humbling.

He shrank down the wall to the floor, his heart clenched but the tears wouldn't come. Right now she was probably sitting before Dumbledore, being interrogated. _What would she do now? _She had asked to take her NEWTS early. _Then what?_ They hadn't talked about anything really. There was no talking. And for four months what he wanted most from her was to hear her speak her mind. They hadn't even done that.

This was his largest loss—it would have been easier to lose her if he knew he could never have her. But knowing now how she felt made it more difficult for him to find good reasons to keep his distance. There was a war. And he was doing his duty. Slumped against the shower wall, Severus wept in the downpour of water, drowning in his sorrow.

Ginny and Pansy met with Hermione outside of Dumbledore's office. They had waited for her, knowing that eventually she would need to go.

Hermione walked forward through the hall in a kind of trance, not really wanting to speak to anyone at the moment, but wanting even less for someone to bring 'the talk' to her doorstep. She had gone to the rooms Dumbledore had set aside, long enough to change into jeans and a white t-shirt. She wanted to get this over with. She put her shoulders back and took a deep breath, trying to put on a practiced face of confidence. It wasn't working.

Ginny smiled and hugged her. Then Pansy took her turn.

""Don't let him get to you," Pansy said. "All beard, no bite."

"Don't feel badly," Ginny said. "We had to see him _30 minutes_ after we consummated things. They tracked me down."

"Yeah, Snape stood outside of the Room of Requirement while Draco and I were taking care of things. I had to use my goddess to block the door."

Hermione's jaw dropped. She _was_ having an easier time of it. "What prevented them from coming after me?"

"Ron and Harry went to Dumbledore after your letter and asked him to give you some space," Ginny said.

"Demanded is more like it…" Pansy corrected.

"Yeah…"

Hermione released a genuine smile of thanks. Her friends always had her back.

"Are you going to be okay?" Pansy asked quietly.

That was the big question. "Eventually. Yeah, I think I am." Her shoulders slumped a bit, and then she straightened again. Hermione remembered Sister Mary's words, and knew who walked with her. She would see Dumbledore, and then would see Harry and Ron. Then she would go to the Burrow, talk to her parents. Maybe go to St. Peter's and pray in the solitude of the Cathedral.

The stairs appeared and Hermione climbed them slowly, finally arriving at the archway to his office. Dumbledore sat behind his desk, quietly admiring her over his spectacles. He wore blue robes, and his eyes held puffy circles where his eyes usually looked merry. Tea and biscuits were on a plate in front of him, half nibbled.

Fawkes sat on his perch, and blinked at her with a beautiful regard. It gave her a feeling of peace.

"Good morning, Professor."

"Miss Granger, please have a seat. Lemon drop?"

"No thank you, sir." She took a seat in a straight back chair with a plump cushion on it.

Formal pleasantries seemed necessary after their last discussion. The air hung for a few moments and she waited for Dumbledore to begin.

"Well then. I have had a bit of time to think about what happened over the last nine months and the rather eloquent things you said to me yesterday evening."

Hermione blanched—she was more forward then than she would have been today.

"I deeply regret that I did not tell you what I told the other members of the SOS in January… of how _proud_ I am of the efforts you made and your sacrifices so that Hogwarts and its students could be safe. Pansy told me of the book you used and of the "fine print" as it were. I'm sure you didn't expect to be thrust into such a complicated mess of things. I am not sure how I would have handled things in your place."

"Thank you, sir." Hermione sighed and settled a little more comfortably in her chair, which creaked as she shifted her weight. He was making an effort to make her feel welcome and appreciated, and it was working.

"I spoke to the Minister of Magic at length—there will not be any charges brought against you."

Hermione's lips parted and racked her brain. Then her brow furrowed— "What laws did they think I broke?" she asked defensively.

Dumbledore smiled. _That's the spirit_. "Well, it seems that Cornelius had concerns about underage magic. I, of course, reminded him that you are nearly nineteen already. Then he mentioned that you were a student practicing magic outside of school. Then I kindly explained that you were no longer a student here, since you didn't return for spring term. Also, my understanding is that all of the magic you practiced, happened whilst you were in the caves. Is that correct?"

"Yes, sir." Technically she was on school grounds for most. _Except that bit of magic with Severus' wand._

Dumbledore noticed her thoughtful gaze with suspicion and said nothing.

"Of course the Ministry claimed to have seen you during those months when it was quite impossible. The Daily Prophet ran a story about you being on holiday or some nonsense so they could justify ending the Ministry supported search for you, in the magical world at least. I believe if they wanted to pursue this matter further, they would find themselves caught in embarrassing lies, not too happy to hear your version of events made public."

She reckoned they wouldn't want to hear about Malfoy either, and if she talked about him she may be made to divulge Victor's affiliation. Avoiding an inquiry appeared to be mutually beneficial for everyone. She thought a moment, "But sir, what about the portkeys?" They used portkeys in front of the entire class. Luna charmed a locket in the cave after the spell.

"What portkeys? Portkeys can't be used on Hogwarts grounds. I'm sure you own a copy of Hogwarts: A History." Dumbledore said with a smile. He blinked.

Dumbledore was a shrewd and calculated wizard for someone sorted into Gryffindor. If Hermione ever need legal representation, she knew who to call on.

"Since charges are not being brought against you, do you still wish to take your NEWTS early?"

Hermione face became long and serious. NEWTS meant leaving Hogwarts. "Yes, sir."

Dumbledore's beard rose and sunk further into his robes with his deep respiration and sigh. _It would be a loss for everyone. Harry, Ron, the rest of her classmates.. not to mention most of the staff. Severus_. He rested his teacup on it's saucer and looked at her thoughtfully. "I am sorry to hear you say that, Miss Granger. You are a very brave, intelligent and _stubborn _young woman. All excellent traits for a grown witch to possess. I have no doubt you will do very well on your NEWTS and whatever career you choose to pursue. Though, I think that a career in Ministry service is out."

Hermione snorted. "No big loss there. That wouldn't be a good fit for me."

"After you graduate, I would very much like to see more of you at the summer place," he said with a twinkle, indicating Order membership.

"Anything I can do to help." Hermione smiled. She had something to look forward to, to be useful. _But he would be there. Would she be ready?_

Dumbledore steepled his fingers in front of him and gazed at her changing expression. "What do you plan on doing?"

"I have a few job leads. But I could always bartend." She looked around nervously at his odds and ends. She was stalling.

Dumbledore smiled and knew she was joking. He had been tiptoeing around the issue of Severus and she knew it. The air was heavy with the unspoken subject. 

"Hermione, I know you may feel this is none of my business. But are you leaving school for any _other_ reasons other than being ready to take your NEWTS?"

She looked away from his gaze. "I can't stay. It would be… inappropriate for me. I-I don't want to make it difficult for him. It's why I left. He's too…" she swallowed. "He has too much integrity to have a relationship with a student. And probably too dangerous for him besides."

Dumbledore deduced who Hermione's object of desire was when Katie Renou was caught exiting Hogwarts via the dungeons. That, and Dobby confessed to helping her enter unnoticed per Miss Granger. Ms. Renou had been extremely surprised that she had been discovered and her own look was very telling. Precisely, he could deduce what she was not telling. He was so angry that Hermione was being bedded by a man, one of his staff no less, and one so much older than her. But that was until the shock wore off, and had a long talk with Minerva. The wards had to be raised though, and Ron and Harry had separately come to him to request that he give her space. Actually they were more along the lines of, "you had better give her some time or else." _Why couldn't he give her more credit?_ Hermione was a grown witch, far more mature than many of her classmates. It wasn't as if Severus was taking Hermione against her will. Dumbledore had spent the better part of the evening sulking, and afterwards he could more calmly evaluate all of the circumstances. She chose Severus. She was in love with him, left Hogwarts to protect him. _No wonder she left._ And Severus had been none the wiser. But even over the course of the year he could see how Severus' regard had changed toward her. They would not of course, be able to continue on. Both of them could certainly agree that a relationship wouldn't be in either of their best interests for the safety of either of them. Somehow, that thought didn't sit well with him.

Hermione took a deep shuddering breath, getting the frightening questions off her chest she had meant to discuss with Severus, and directing them to Dumbledore like an angry wind.

"How is he going to hide from Voldemort? He's going to see. He's going to find out that I blessed him and then…" She couldn't finish the sentence, '_he'll__ kill him_.' Hermione took another deep breath, trying to calm herself and get up her nerve. "How can you let him keep going there? Hasn't he done enough?!"

Dumbledore aged ten years before her. "Ah, Hermione. War is so difficult. So many sacrifices have been made…"

"Don't talk to me about _sacrifice_! I _know_ war is difficult. He's already sacrificed enough! He couldn't accept that I—that anyone could love him. I worry about him constantly! At least Draco got out, as it is—and Goyle's stuck—probably thinks he doesn't have an out. And … you know I just cannot _believe _you!" Hermione was fully furious now, her hands clenched in tight fists, pacing the room like Harry once had.

"Believe what?" Dumbledore was at a loss.

"Victor Krum. Don't tell me you don't know."

Dumbledore stared blankly at her, waiting for her to fill in the gaps.

"Victor and some other Death Eater named Hawkley were the ones who kidnapped me in the back of the church. Don't deny it, I saw it in his eyes. He hesitated leaving me. He had an affiliation with the 'summer home' does he not?"

Dumbledore nodded slightly, his look said it all. That Hermione could discover his allegiances at all was very dangerous business. The knowledge of his membership was very secret and he did not attend Order meetings, but passed information through Severus.

Hermione saw the fear there. She leaned forward slightly. "I will not and have not told a single soul. I won't tell Harry or Ron, not anyone. But I swear, if I had my wand I would cover you in hexes. I already worry enough about…" Hermione stopped short and held her face in her hands.

"There, there Miss Granger." Dumbledore rose from behind his great desk to sit beside the young woman and comfort her.

_How were they going to survive this? Everyone around her was submerged in the fight against Voldemort. Ron, Harry, Ginny, Pansy, Melanie, Kendra, all of the Order… _Her mind raced with all of the unanswered questions and worry. She sobbed out her fears on Dumbledore's blue cloak.

He knew all too well, her sentiment. His room became a blurry, watery haze as he wondered, how indeed they were going to manage.

**Authors Note:**

Have you ever seen the dark brown or black, bushy, kinky, curly/wavy hair of Spanish women? When it's down and hanging around their soldiers? Great example, Brazilian actress Sonia Braga. Remember when she played Mrs. Westlake on The Cosby Show? Beautiful, long, huge bushy hair. Of course, it was the 80's.

My God, it must horrible to live with the responsibility of that hair, but whenever I see it, I just think… how beautiful is that?

Many thanks to Keket Amunet for being a fabulously thorough beta through her busy schedule, and finding somewhere to pencil this in. the big lesson for me is 'show emotion, don't tell.' That's pretty hard for me y'all, but I'm working on it! I have to give her full credit for the scene where Snape looks at the cover seal for the first time, and drops the whiskey glass. She also helps with several beautiful little details that develop the story. Where would I be without her?

Huge big thanks to XxphenixX who helped to correct my atrocious Latin incantations in earlier chapters. I am working to correct them as we speak. I am making an effort to upload them before this next chapter. Thank you, thank you, thank you XxphenixX!

Sorry you guys, kinda had a movie quote-a-thon going. I found it humorous for Hermione to jibe Lucius Malfoy when she finally remembered her Latin. Many thanks to XxPhenixX! From the Fifth Element. 'never without my permission' was translated into _Nunquam sine meo concessu' _rather than Lelu's 'holy language' Hee.

Also please see Monsieur Ibraheim. I highly recommend this beautiful, poignant movie about a 16-year-old boy who befriends a Sufi grocer (played by Omar Sharif) with unique wisdom to impart from his own faith. One of the direct quotes from the movie, "Your love is yours. It belongs to you. She rejects it, but she cannot destroy it. What you give Momo, is yours for good. What you keep is lost forever." You will not be disappointed. I modified this for Sister Mary to use, but give full credit to writers François Dupeyron, and Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt.

_I love jeans… I love jeans… Ooooh— but I hate closed spaces… I hate closed spaces…._ This of course is a tribute to one of my favorite feel good movies, which I have watched almost as much as Star Wars (and that's a lot y'all). _Goonies:_ Chunk gets free from his kidnappers and in in the forest saying, "I'm not afraid of the dark. I love the dark. But I hate nature, I hate nature!"

Finally lemons, and I did tone it down a bit, though once I finish posting on ashwinder I'll let you know. I've read a fair amount of lemons on and this still seems in line. If some of you feel I have crossed it, PLEASE E-MAIL ME. Ugh. I will edit again and reload, I swear.

otakuannie- Thank you for your review. I've enjoyed writing it. I don't know as much about poetry as I'd like and as much as High School sucked, the advanced English part was fun. I really miss that and the creativity of my peers in class. Egads! That was years and years ago! I think I might have referenced a book where Louise Labe's poems were referenced. A Book of Women Poets from Antiquity to Now. So worth picking up.

Laicamiel Thank you! I do try to leave hints here and there, if only to remind myself what to say! I'm glad you find it suspenseful and finally here our somewhat reunited couple is. More soon!

Antagonist Len- Hey Helen! I love Billy Joel. But lately Earth Wind and Fire has been running in my head, along with John Barry, Janet Jackson and Annie Lennox. Oh, and Alicia Keys. Can't make up my mind. They're all good! Here's your update!

irish-princess- Thank you! Don't stop now!

Lyress Lyress sweetie! If you have probs lemme know. It'll be a long time before I get all chaps up on Ashwinder. Thank you so much. Draco is a good character. I love him bad, but deep down when I see and read him I see someone who is totally insecure with himself. He needed a way out. And Snape can look at what he did (as well as Goyle) and envy him. I like the witch/nun. I think it would be fascinating to have to resolve such a conflict with one's faith and one's gifts. Snape could save her yes, but she saves herself. I guess there is still a part of Hemrione that could be saved, if Snape chooses. Thank you for your continued support, as always!

Indigo Jez- Oh my God, 7 am! You have reached an all time ridiculous level. The latest I could stay up was 5:30am. That was last night. Oh jeez, and your computer froze? I hate that. I've been plowing my way through the rest of the fic. At least the second half is betaed. There are still a few typos I noticed when reading on Lately I changed my font at home to Arial just so I could read better. Tahkn you for your review!

jean jellybean- Thank you very much! I'm not a professional writer, but as much time as I'm spending on fan fic, my husband is begging me to take it seriously. Honestly, you reviewers have given me so much encouragement to continue I really have to thank you. I enjoyed reading others fics as much as I do writing my own. Thank you for reading. And thanks for encouraging my 'flow' Bai!

AK-Siren- Ola me-hah (hahaha) I tried to spell it and I can't. Mi'ja… something. Ask franflutewitch! Thank you. I believe the requiem I was thinking of it Fauere's Requiem, but alas I didn't look at the score when I wrote it. It's surely SABT, and not sung by an all women's choir, no matter what ranges they have. Oh, and the second piece is a duet, SA written by Thank you.

VioletFemme19- Thank you so much for reading. I'm glad you found the rec on WIKTT (though I was recently unable to log in myself- ugh! Crys pitifully ). I really enjoyed writing this. I had the idea for the pentacle and the spell in the Great Hall and the whole fic, developed out of that one idea. I'm glad you find the characters personalities true, though I wish I could make our dear Slytherins just a little more acidic and contemptuous of others. Glad yu like the twists and turns. Sometimes I don't see them that way (I guess that's because I know what happens next, or because I have no logical thought process! Hee.)

MorningStar81- Thank you, I love fics with strong female figures at the center of them. Even though Harry is our hero, I think Rowling does a fabulous job of making Hermione seem strong enough to handle things on her own. She's not the helpless sidekick, comic relief, would-be-girlfriend. I love it.

Beatrice- Thank you! I was up until at least 4am writing this last chapter.

Infinite13- I am wicked. Thank you for the complement. Here you go!

Al- I'm writing as fast as I can. I hope you continue to enjoy!

JennThank you, I'm so glad you think so. Don't fall out of your chair now, I'll post the next chapter as soon as I can!

Queenanneus- Eek! I'm so glad you joined us! See it's not so bad… virginity, song, sisterhood, and a touch of faith. Have a little bit more and the next chapter will come.

Arysta- Thank you, and I got your long chapter right here!

XxphenixXThank you thank you Latin goddess of linguistics for everything. I know I e-mailed you, but since you reviewed, I will make a public announcement to everyone that I have no Latin background. None. Nada. Nyet. Hee. M pretend Latin is from the web and I couldn't translate, conjugate, butcher… to save my life, so I asked you! Thank you again! Here is another juicy chaptah!

Syco Callie- LOL. You sound like a poorly dubbed Chinese kung-fu movie. And Snape an animagus who sees her in the forest? Could you imagine the cauldron scene? Damn. Things would've been consummated right there. I'm glad you like the way I wrote Hermione. And thank God I've never had the experience to be in love with someone who doesn't love me back/ or know I exist. I have had my fair share of long celibate periods however. It's agonizing. The only way I can identify with Hermione is that she's a good girl who does the right thing most of the time. That's frustrating. Thank you for reading.

Simply Scribbling- Throttle me please. His Goddess didn't kick in. She would've given him away. At least he still has her for some measure of protection. The next chapter is coming ASAIWI (As Soon As I Write It). Thank you for the review, and thank you for staying with me!

Stellar Snape- Yeah, you know I was really attempted to let them go further. Can you imagine if Hermione called Severus name out instead of Jason's? Phfew! Thank you, and did this chapter clear the air? This is the last call for plot suggestions folks, cause I'm wrapping up!

mione drac opal- A wand is sooo much better don't cha think? And I've never attended a Catholic school, but I've heard that really does happen. Thank you for reading, here's the next chappie!

AngelofTears- Glad you like the story and here's the next chapter. Thank you so much for the review, but better than all the books put together? Eek! I'm sorry J.K., she didn't mean it! Please continue writing the sixth book… please!

Franflutewitch- Hey sweetie! I got booted off yahoo, don't know why yet grrrr Thank you for your review! I like Sister Mary too. The nuns at the hospital are just wonderful people to work beside. Hopefully you won't have to wait much longer for this chapter. Ugh! I can't stand not knowing what's happening on WIKTT!!! Oh, have my answer. I may have omitted to answer an age question in the profile and have created a new account.

The Eight Weasley- I had to iron my hands. I'm sorry. No more cliffies! Thank you! And I feel for you. I only have to be at work by 8:30am. I live an hour away and take the bus, at least I get to sleep on the way. It makes up for late night reading and writing! 

MizThank you, and yes I can put them through more. Just a little. Thank you for reading.

heartnutWow, you are a very fast reader! Thank you so much by the way, for pushing my fic. I'm flattered. June Williams made a request for a full document copy, and I will try. Oh my God, your Father? I can scarcely even mention what I'm doing to my own family and I'm 34. Eek, maybe you should tear out the part with lemons. Hope you enjoy it sir. And since your dad reads… has he read all the Harry Potter books? See, most people can't understand how this would be so intriguing. I became hooked after searching for speculation on-line about Book 6 from people who knew enough to make intelligent guesses based on cannon. I had an itch to write and blam-oh… here I be!

I'm proud of your efforts with the Silver Ring thing and I visited their website. I do believe virginity/abstinence can be a powerful thing, the strength of personal resolve in one's mind to clear it for other productive activities. There are so many other ways to be close to someone, and in my experience early sexual activity can shorten a relationship instead of develop it. I work in a hospital with pregnant and delivering women, and I must say, I meet far too many women with regrets. (stepping off soapbox)

I certainly hope you are not disappointed with the lemons in this chapter, which were bound to happen. As a younger woman, I was far more content to read provocative literature occasionally than to risk serious regrets and the consequences that go with them. Good luck to you and thank you for reading and reviewing!

HazyDayClearNightThank you for your review! I'm glad Sister Mary and Hermione's visit to the church was unexpected. How about the lust potion? That was too cruel.

Althea Grey- Thank you! I'm glad you like the trouble. She excels at that!

MxS Rose Thank you for your enthusiasm, and I hope you like the above chapter. Ergh! Now I have to start over on Chap 24. More soon!

ShelliesnapeEveryone else be clueless. Until now. Even Snape didn't know or believe it until he saw her standing. Right now as I type, I'm listening to 'Everytime We Say Goodbye'. So sad. Don't know how, or if Harry and Draco and Ron will find out soon. Hermione didn't even share with Pansy. More soon… I gotta figure out the rest of this… Thank you for your review!

Steph2bwld- Thanks for the info about Gaia. Cool. Could I have Gaia blast the Death Eaters? Hmm… Was is good enough I hope? I always thought the goddesses presence was imposing enough, though I'm sure she could almost do anything she wanted! Oh.. and when I wrote something exploded inside of Snape at that moment, when she was in the mirror ready to hurt herself… Snape was the one doing the magic, not Gaia. He beat her to the punch so to speak so that he could save that magic for another time. Gaia's own worried energy confirmed Snape's fear for Hermione's safety. It's hard to know why Gaia emerges at some times and not others. I imagine Hermione knows what she can handle and not, I think that's why Gaia waited until the last possible moment to strike. When all hope was lost. Severus' Gaia would not betray him to the danger surrounding him. She knew that would put him in jeopardy and thus the spell. And thank you for your conclusion about Hermione's portkey, taking the Death Eaters with her. I wrote it in for you, you know! Wink!

Strawberry22- Haha! Dude! You were so right! I was laughing so hard when I read your review. I tried to research the Pensieve somewhat, and I guess I always assumed that removing thoughts form your mind so that you could see them more clearly and observe them objectively was pretty literally removing them from your brain so that you could prevent others from reading your mind (like when Harry goes to Occlumency lessons). I would assume that would mean they would need to be put back, as it were, I'll keep looking. Thanks for your two cents! I love a challenge! And thanks for your continued support, it means a lot to me.

RommBut of course. More soon! Thank you for reading and reviewing. You've been in for the long haul!

Tiffie101- Thank you, and I like her as a character. Sorry I didn't develop hers and Dumbledore's relationship more. I think she has a serenity about her that Dumbledore has always longed for, and perhaps he has always been pretty sorrowful that she left the wizarding world.

Demon Sorceress- S'up babes? Thanks and here's the next one.

excessivelyperkyLovin da lemonade yet? Kinda tart though in the end, Whew. Damn that took a long time to write. I got fevah. Thank you! On to the next chapter.

Vasquez1987- Ah, I could write a rape scene into the mix. Besides, if Hermione unleashed any passion in the Death Eater lair, damn. Severus would have been SOL, claw marks up the back, Gaia all over the place and when done they would have been tragically murdered to death. That's not much of an ending for our lovers is it? Thank you! Now to work on the ever after…

Shauna- Thank you, me too. Draco needs some peace and direction.

RheinelTotally his own. Hermione doesn't know that though until she talks with Pansy later. Since the Yule ball, all of the women have their own mojo only, though I am sure Hermione is a nuclear reactor of pheromones. Thank you for reading!

Min Hee- Thank you. It's hard not to be attracted to those Slytherin men. And I like the Slytherin girls in this. I wish that I could write them as a bit more underhanded and devious though. Go Millie. Girl power.

The Perfectionist- I am continuing! Here you go! Thanks for R&Ring.

Luna Writer- Yeppers. Thank you for the review, and hope you liked Chapter 23.

Athena Linborn- You really knew? Hooray, but I so hate being predictable. Hope you like the next chapter, and thank you so much for reading (and reveiewing!)

Hermiayup. Lucius does.. try… doesn't he? Wall of Desire rocks! Poor duo… doesn't figure it out. Haven't quiet figured out their reactions yet, IF she tells them who it is. Will have to catch up on some reading to keep it in cannon.

Bunnybee- Eek, not a Bible! Blasphemy! I'm glad you enjoy it, but the content is a complete derailment form anything scared, especially in this chapter. I'm glad you cry and scream and pull your hair out! Hooray! I did my job! Yup. It is Krum. Thank you so much for your complements and support. Onto the next chapter! type… peck… peck… 

Stargazer starluver- Glad you enjoyed it and caught up! Thank you for your review.

Nakash Mekashefah- Thank you! Hope you like the new chapter, and as we close soon— I would like to give you my gratitude for you (and all of the readers) continued support. Have a great day!

June Williams- I love knocking out Lucius Malfoy. Did it in the Burden of Sight too. Shame he wasn't knocked unconscious. Wait. Yes he was. Grin Poisoned in the middle of the Great hall! I'm dying to write another chapter where Melanie and Millie can use their leftover darts for some needed revenge on Malfoy for Kendra. Sadly, there is no time and plot to drive it. I will think about the single document idea. Oh my God, how large would that file be? I thank you for your reviews!

crissy - Oh no… what to do? The end of another chapter. Hopefully it won't take me as long to write the next one. 

Kylara- Stupid spam. I will try and remember to e-mail you! Oh… I'm glad you weren't expecting that! But where would any fic be without a good Death Eater capture and Voldemort? Hope you like the new chapter, cuz it be long. Wow, the only story for SS/HG?

I'll have to recommend some then. My current favorites are Somewhere I Have Never Travelled (on Adult fan fiction and Ashwinder) and Arithmancy for Muggles (so lovin that one). You may also like Pas de Deux, different and a WIKTT challenge. All can be found on Ashwinder. So many more also, what about Cloak of Courage? (ROCK!)

wackoramaco87- Jason! Frank? Oh my God no! Both Muggles. They were both nice. Victor… you know crooked nose, Bulgarian Quidditch player… Capricorn… Victor! Haha! Glad you liked the chapter, and hope you like this one too. Dang, it's getting hard to write. One more chapta left and an epilogue prob-ly. Thank you, thank you for stickin' by me! I'll try my best to have SOS show up in the end.

Saturngurl123- Thank you! Draco needed to be put on the spot. I'm glad you liked the runes on the doorframe. I'm almost sorry I didn't have her do it in the cave too. Now now, about the hair… I have to squeeze that conversation in somehow… perhaps Chap 24? 

poetrychik- Eee, I hope this chapter is better than the last too. So much pressure. Severus is much closer to Hermione now, hope you liked… and now the distance between them is a cavern. And there had to be some way for Sister Mary to see through Snape. I like it that she knew about him since the previous year and didn't tell. Keeping confidences is a good gift to have.

Tycho- Thank you for your review, and I hope the tension and anticipation kept building to a pleasurable point. Argh. Now they have to start over. What is poor Hermione to do? She still has those dreaded conversations coming up. Poor Snape. Now they've switched places. More soon! Stay tuned, and thank you so much for hanging on. Hope you like the lemons, this was hard (ahem.. I mean difficult) for me to write this from a man's POV.

Nocturnas- Let the tension continue!I hope. They at least blew off some steam. Smile Thank you for the review. On to Chap 24!

artemisgirl- Sorry for the quasievil cliffie! And yes, Victor… Gaia did pull through in the end, though she brought herself to the fore to protect Hermione.

Wytil- Victor is in over his head as it is. And in my fics, Hermione always has a chance. Thanks for reviewing!

hpz26- Thank you, and hey, at least she's no longer so desperate. I'm not sure she'd call it an improvement though. Now that she has to leave. Stay tuned!!!

MissCrystalix- Women rock don't they? No more evil cliffys, Though I'm still kinda leaving you hanging hunh?

Bad Bugz- This chapter of course! See by the time your question is answered you know it before you read the review responses! And I hope three weeks wasn't too long. It took me a week at least to break though the writer's block of this last scene, though the first half was written for quiet a while. And thanks for liking our dear Sister. I work in a Catholic hospital and the tranquility and serene clarity of many of the nuns that I meet is some of the most calming reassuring 'magic' I've ever seen.

Shabopo- Still breathing? I love Snape's character too, and I hope it continues to show here. He usually always knows what to sya and now that he's faced with the object of his desires, he doesn't know how to respond (at least in words). I hope you love him next chapter. Perhaps one more and a epilogue at this point.

Not as elegant? (Hee, sorry to disappoint, and I see your point.) Sister Mary is a nun through and through. She still got advice from the nun and not the witch. Her witch days are mostly behind her, and her talents remain a secret. At first I made her a muggle, and then I liked her, and then I thought of a dove comforting Hermione and then I had the animagus idea. Thank you for your reviews! And your frank honesty about what you like and don't like. Gracias!

Ezmerelda What's up? So close to the end now! So much faith in Severus. He has to go get her of course, not that she needed rescuing. But whatever makes him feel all chivalrous to balance out the typical cold snarkiness that is our sexy potions master!

Pandora Nervosa- Ooh, I'm glad you thought so, because it so totally could've happened. I like Jason's character. I imagine him to be as sexy as I see Ben Kingsley. God, don't you just love him? Maybe it's just me. Anyway I think he's cute, in a far older more distinguished sort of way. Happy napping, cause after this long chapter you're probably needing one. I fell asleep three times while writing it. Of course, it was 5 am.

Rachel diego - It took me a while, but at least we... um I mean Hermione, ahem… gets to have Snape!

kawaiililkitten-- No cliffie now, but I bet you are still wondering what is going to happen! Haha!


	24. Moving Out, Moving In, and Moving On

Disclaimer: Still not mine and on and on. Thank you J.K. Rowling for allowing me to borrow your lovely characters!

Sorry y'all had to wait so long for this chapter. There is one more after this and then I'm calling it quits for awhile. I love all you guys, you keep me so 'up'. Many thanks to feedback from Shabopo and Keket Amunet, Lori and lyress, and so many others who e-mail me with encouragement and corrections. I may have to break until after January, unless I have an epiphany of some kind. I have a major quilting effort waiting for me with a deadline of Christmas. Eek. Thank you so much for reading an reviewing.

**Chapter 24: Moving Out, Moving In, and Moving On**

Snape gathered himself together, his inscrutable mask worn like his other off-putting clothing. All were physical reminders of restraint and control. He had picked himself up enough times to at least feign a practiced look of cold indifference, at least until it became fact. It had worked well before— but the mask he had been using to contain his turbulent emotions was wearing thin. Now that Hermione had filled him with a multitude of feelings so foreign to him— pleasure, acceptance, joy, love and ultimately loss… the façade of unconcern no longer fit. It was as if he were plugging a leaky dam with a spare bit of cork. Try as he might, it was only a matter of time before the dam gave way to the flood.

He dried off and slipped on his restrictive teaching garb, dodging his restless reflection in the mirror. Storming out the bathroom door, he could not avoid the sight of his rumpled bed and swiftly left it behind him for his office. _Third Year essays on uses of dragon heartstring, fifth year exams to grade, need lacewings for the stores… _He kept his mind occupied with the mental list of tasks and stood stiffly behind his desk.

_Crunch._

He picked up his right foot to look underneath— the forgotten shards of last night's whiskey glass left nasty gouges in the leather sole of his boot. His gaze drifted from the glittering remainders of the lead glass up to his cluttered desk. The bottle of whiskey was where he had left it, along with the box, her bookends, her copy of the book.

She had left with nothing.

Waving his wand, he cleaned up the mess, the lead crystal now beyond repair after his misstep had rendered it worthless. He laughed painfully.

_That's not the only thing that can't be mended._

Snape stared at the slip of white paper from the black box and thought of the seal. Quickly he went to the den to rescue the remarkable work of art, carelessly left on the coffee table from the night before. He picked it up carefully, examining it for any sign of stain or blemish, hoping it hadn't picked up ay moisture or trace droplets from the discarded potion. The swirling words of his first year lecture tumbled through the Celtic knot. It was beautiful weave of flattery… so much more personal than even the Polyjuice recipe could convey. He remembered how entranced Katie became when viewing it… she had flung open her books and discussed the symbolism of the knotwork. His book had far and away outsold most potions texts, a clear sign that Hermione's calligraphy alone was selling his book. Perhaps he could send her royalties. He had paid her too little.

Snape frowned at the wrinkle made on otherwise unblemished parchment by his forceful grasp yesterday. He used his thumb to smooth the pinched valleys out, not daring to straighten it magically after all of her efforts to do traditional work. Reentering the classroom, he glanced at the sonnet and decided he would frame this as well, as soon as he could. For now it would have to remain safely tucked away in the black box.

With an attitude bordering on reverence, he held it up to admire it once more before lowering it carefully where it belonged. His brow quirked when it didn't quite lie flat, and he lifted it again to see what had caused the disturbance. Tucked away in a corner was a tiny scroll of paper. His long fingers plucked it from the box and unrolled it. Snape was shocked to see the former request in his familiar hand.

_Everytime We Say Goodbye_

Severus Snape was not immune to the powerful images that slip of paper conjured. In slow motion, he replaced the lid on the box, carefully and calmly put away each of Hermione belongings back in his lefthand drawer, and then launched the bottle of Ogden's across the room with as much force as he could put behind it, smashing it against the far wall.

That very moment, Albus Dumbledore chose to walk in the doors of the dungeons, stepping slightly to the right, avoiding the glass projectile.

"That's an interesting good morning, Severus," said Dumbledore with an annoyingly serene voice. A wrinkled hand reached down to brush away some whiskey that had splashed his robes. His timing as always, was appalling.

"Get out." Severus looked down, his face contorted into a cold scowl not at all dissimilar to the one he wore when he suffered the Cruciatus.

"Severus…"

"I SAID GET OUT!!!"

His deafening exclamation nearly blew the Headmaster through the door, and Dumbledore wisely withdrew, leaving the heartbroken man to suffer alone.

Snape didn't come to breakfast. He avoided the interruptions of the few students who dared to seek out his help that day by sequestering himself in the den. Try as he might, he could not stop thinking about her and about his inability to speak with her this morning— how his first words to her were discouraging instead of comforting, accepting, and understanding as hers had been. They were so different, and yet she accepted him and his faults.

The way she had looked at him, with adoration and longing. She communicated everything without speech after their first union. He had never felt so at peace.

He should have taken her again, he should have told her… should have kissed her senseless… convinced her to stay. Snape knew they couldn't have a relationship, and she did not need him to reinforce that painful thought by pointing out the obvious. If he hadn't started in on his little speech, Hermione would be there, now, with him, in his arms. He rested his head in his hands, lacing his fingers through lank, disheveled hair and refused to weep.

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A now dry-faced Hermione rejoined Pansy and Ginny at the foot of the stairs. "Don't you have class?"

"Nope, we have two 'grace days' to study for exams and prepare for our OWLS," Ginny said.

_Good thing_, Hermione thought, remembering how late they had slept. "I'm going to go the Room of Requirement. I don't really feel like facing all of Gryffindor right now." She chewed the inside of her cheek, a nervous habit. "Can you… get Ron and Harry for me?" She winced, feeling guilty for even asking. It seemed like all she had asked Pansy and Ginny do since she got back was fetch things from people and places she wanted to avoid.

"You bet," Ginny said kindly, leaving Pansy alone with her.

Pansy escorted her friend in silence to the fifth floor. They passed other students in the hall, and while some gasped at the sight of the return of their classmate, Hermione and Pansy made no comment.

Hermione walked as if in a trance, at first noticing all of the walls and paintings she would miss. She thought when she left Hogwarts that she would leave with a wistful fondness for the place. Now there was such an emptiness settling in her, that these halls no longer provided her any comfort. She felt a measure of sadness that she wasn't feeling as unhappy as she thought in leaving. And yet, leaving would likely not help to improve her mood either. After waiting four months to come back, leaving again so soon felt like emotional whiplash.

Pansy was worried for her. Hermione always looked like she wanted to say more, but was so distant. Pansy knew that feeling and desperately wanted to give Hermione the space she needed, but her curiosity was killing her. She nervously cleared her throat, breaking the awkward silence hanging between them. "Can I see you later?"

"You better." Hermione smiled uneasily, trying to pick up her mood. "I haven't quite figured out what's next, you know? But I'll let you know where I land."

Pansy gave her a small smile in return. She had an idea, but it was a hopeful one only. _Not at all realistic and too early to explore._ Pansy hugged her tightly, and Hermione swallowed her emotion once more since her friends were coming. Hermione paced and opened the door to the Room of Requirement.

She walked into a room that looked like a cross between the Gryffindor Common room and Grimmauld Place. It was an interesting mishmash of nightmarish interior decorating gone awry with smatterings of crimson colored upholstery and 18th century furnishings along with old dusty couches and sideboards. Her back was still to the door when Harry and Ron entered.

Harry attacked her first, hugging her tightly. His tall, muscular body towered over her own smaller frame, making his squeeze more awkward than she remembered. Harry had to stoop. Ron hung back, and looked at her thoughtfully as Hermione met his gaze over Harry's right shoulder.

"You alright?" Harry asked.

Hermione nodded, and walked slowly into Ron's more careful embrace. He held her a long time, stroking her hair and for the first time in a long while, Hermione felt Ron really saw her. He appeared to understand, or at least wanted to make the attempt. She was grateful for the conspicuous absence of a full onslaught of questions or lecture. Ron, who usually had a propensity to stammer, was now yielding and calm, and more mature than she had remembered him. Ron gently released her from his arms and they sat on the couches.

"Hello," she said shyly, and they all laughed. "I missed you a lot," she confessed a bit shakily, wondering where her apologies should begin. For as long as she could remember, the three of them had done everything together, schemed together, even studied together— and this year she had abandoned that entirely. Hermione thought hard, and hot chocolate appeared before them all. Hermione brought the mug to her lips and blew on it, watching as the steam curled away from her breath, something to occupy her rather nervous brain as she wondered what questions would be forthcoming.

After a few moments, Harry broke the ice. "I can't believe you stayed in the caves. I mean… I understand why you wouldn't want to leave Hogwarts grounds for a few short weeks… but you stayed there even after everyone else left."

"What was it like?" Ron asked personably.

Hermione pulled the mug from her lips and said, "It was cold, gritty, lacked anything worth eating," she smirked and then her face fell. "Extremely lonely," she admitted distantly.

They had been to the caves and heard the report from Remus, so they hadn't missed much. Silence descended on the trio again, while Harry searched for more lighthearted conversation.

"Hey, how did you pass the message through Hedwig?" Harry asked. That one had been puzzling him for months.

"I have connections," Hermione said with a cryptic smile. "It was an owl to owl transmission." Her eyes flashed. She wouldn't divulge Buckwheat's identity for anything.

Harry blinked at her, stunned. He had always been impressed by his friend's resourcefulness, but it still astounded him that she managed to disappear quite well for nearly four months with no help from anyone.

"I can't believe you worked in a bar," Ron laughed. "You don't even drink."

"Actually bartenders don't drink, they pour. And after everything that's happened, I have had my fair share of alcohol. It's totally overrated."

"You drank?" the red-head asked, his eyes wide. "Why?" Then Ron's eyes narrowed. "What did you mean when said you had your 'fair share'?"

"Um… I didn't have any potions to help me, so I sort of _used_ it for a while to mask the desire." She shrugged. "It at least made me a little sleepy. It wasn't really that effective." She shook her head a little embarrassed by her admission, but then realized at the time, she had no other options.

Ron and Harry shared a worried expression. She had been through a lot they knew. When they were angriest with her, it was like they had pictured her just able to come back at will. Sometimes they forgot she struggled constantly with the force of the spell. But the Latin markings on Pansy's and Ginny's skin reminded them of the ever-pressing compulsion; it was all they could think about for the last week.

"We were so worried about you Hermione, the things you said in your letter…" Hermione could see the muscles in Harry's jaw tense. "What happened…just before you came back? You faced Voldemort." Harry was almost relieved to know he could hear the experience from someone else view. When he had faced Voldemort alone in his fourth year it sounded almost too unreal, too unbelievable. Ginny had been possessed by a young Tom Riddle, but facing the current Dark Lord head-on was another matter. Finally he had a peer to discuss it with.

Hermione winced at the reference to Voldemort, remembering his burning presence, his murderous gaze. She took a deep breath and backed up in the story, deciding what she wanted to relate. She told them the greater portion of things— working at the bar with Frank, Roxy, Gabe, Nick and Danny, getting an apartment, meeting Jason at the motel after seeing Draco, leaving and going out on her own. Being kidnapped by Death Eaters. She made no mention of Victor. Harry's and Ron's jaws dropped at her description of the rescue of Kendra, and crawling through the air vent. It took her ten minutes just to explain to Ron what an air vent was.

Harry's face showed intense thought and concentration when she spoke of Voldemort's use of Legilimency to penetrate her mind. Hermione emphasized how important it would be for him to keep his Goddess as long as his could, to prevent Voldemort from seeing his thoughts. Harry wondered if perhaps that's why his Occlumency was going so much better this year.

Hermione became nervous describing the effects of desire and Lucius' cruelty in slipping her the lust potion. She couldn't bring herself to convey the other portion of events, what Snape's role was and how much more difficult his presence there had made it for her. Ron and Harry noticed her story lacked something and after Harry badgered her a bit with probing questions, Harry took the hint from Ron and eased up.

"What are you going to do now?" Ron asked quietly.

Hermione took his hand and squeezed, looking him in the eye. She smiled and then looked at Harry—they weren't going to like this very well. "I'm going to the Burrow, to spend time with my parents until we find out where we should go. I asked Professor Dumbledore… for permission to take my NEWTS early and graduate this year." She chewed the inside of her cheek. "I'll be back in two weeks to take them with the seventh years." Hermione's face was long, but her eyes were hopeful that her friends would understand.

"But why Hermione? It's all over," he said matter of factly. Then Harry protested more aggressively as he realized her sincerity. "You can't go! It'll be the way it used to be…" His voice was a gruff plea, his breath came in exasperated gasps. Yet another person was leaving him.

Ron caught her eye. _Nothing would ever be the same._ He knew it walking up here. "Harry," he said calmly, stopping his friend's appeal. "Hermione, you know we love you. I wish you would stay with us for the next school year, but… if that's not," he blinked his eyes a few times, looking away. His nose reddened, Ron becoming more emotional than he wanted. He cleared his throat, and turned to look at her again. "If that's not what you need, and Professor Dumbledore said it's alright, then I guess our question should be, where do we send the owlpost?" He smiled weakly and Hermione wrapped her arms tightly around Ron, grateful that he understood. Honestly, she should've been more worried about Harry.

"Are you at least going to tell us this time why you are leaving?" Harry demanded, his lips in an angry line.

Hermione looked apologetically at Harry. "I need some space." She licked her lips and swallowed hard. "I um…" she looked at Harry's shocked look and gasped when she read his misunderstanding. "God, Harry! Not away from you!"

_She got kicked aside_, Ron thought, his face frowning. "It's okay, Hermione. You don't have to talk about it."

"Thank you, Ron. I do actually, just... not now. It too…" The words caught in her throat, and realized she couldn't put anything into words.

"Did he treat you well?" Ron's question a whisper.

Hermione looked at him and nodded.

"How did you feel?" Ron asked, Harry watching intently.

After a long pause, Hermione turned her tearful eyes to the floor and whispered, "I felt… complete." Her feelings overcame her and she clutched onto Ron's shirt, crying on his shoulder for moment. Ron stroked her back and looked at Harry. They had_ never_ seen Hermione in such a state. _She_ was the glue that held _them _together. What a role reversal.

Harry felt like a dolt for all that had preoccupied his mind when she was so obviously hurting. _At least you and Ginny get to be together. I'm not going to be having any luck with my circumstance__…_

Hermione straightened herself and furiously wiped her tears. She would not permit herself to surrender to emotional weakness. "I'm sorry." She took some deep breaths. She still had her parents to go, and needed to save some energy for that conversation.

----------

Severus finally came to his senses and decided to try, albeit awkwardly— salvaging any of this morning's rather one-sided conversation with her. _What must she think of him?_ He stormed out of his classroom, past several students, one of which had dared to knock on his classroom door before.

He went straight to the Gryffindor dorms, then felt uncomfortable requesting her presence so publicly. _She couldn't still be with Dumbledore, but perhaps he would know where she was._ His long hurried strides carried him to the Headmaster's Office and up the spiral staircase to interrupt a meeting already in progress.

Harry and Ron were seated facing Dumbledore, looking a bit frustrated. Actually— Harry was beating his fists against the arms on the chair he was sitting in and Ron looked like he was trying to pacify the ever-frustrated youth.

_How typical of Potter_. Dumbledore was listening intently to Harry's tirade about Hermione's intent to graduate early. When Snape entered the room there was dead silence. Harry and Ron glared at his intrusion.

Of course, Snape's experiences with Legilimency did not permit him clairvoyance enough to determine why his presence in the room at that moment bothered them so much. Snape misjudged and did what he normally had not done— he divulged the unknown.

He did not catch Dumbledore's subtle head shake, indicating he should remain silent.

"What, Potter?" He bit out tersely. "Not the _suitor_ you would have chosen?" Snape's sneer faded immediately, recognizing his mistake. _She hadn't told them._

Ron caught on quickly, and while he flamed an angry red, he disarmed Harry before he could cast.

Harry had shot up out of his chair and lunged towards Snape with his hand extended but found himself wandless. He spun on his friend and then turned back to Snape, unwilling to let the bastard out of his sight.

"Give me back my wand, Ron!" Harry green eyes flashed with hatred, standing perilously close to a man he should fear more than his foolish irritation let him.

Snape knew better than to give into the temptation to hex the boy, especially in front of Dumbledore. He was waiting for Potter to say what he really thought of him, but Weasley didn't give him the chance.

"No, Harry." Ron said firmly. "Go back the common room and cool off, mate. Think about what she said to us— _think about it_… and get a hold of yourself."

Harry gritted his teeth, his upper lip curled viciously at his enemy, and stormed out of Dumbledore's office before he choked Snape to death.

Snape couldn't help but uphold his reputation as a bastard. He crossed his arms in front of him and looked down on the boy with contempt. "And just what did she _say_, Mister Weasley?"

Ron remained silent, ignoring Snape. He placed Harry's wand gently on Dumbledore's table, taking his time, letting the silence linger as his gut clenched.

_Hermione.__ In front of Voldemort… blessing Snape… _

"I can't believe she's in love with _you_," he muttered under his breath, as much to himself as to Snape. "No wonder she didn't tell us." He face was long and almost sad, his voice was empty and disappointed. "I need to borrow your Floo, Professor Dumbledore."

Ron didn't ask, he just grabbed a handful of Floo power and stood in the fireplace.

"What, not going to get in a good hex before you go?" Snape chided meanly. He hadn't gotten the response he wanted, so try, try again…

"Severus…" Dumbledore said with a hint of warning, and glared at him disapprovingly.

Ron just looked at him with immense sadness, still angry at Hermione's departure, but quickly understanding more and more about why she left. Of a million things he could say, he just couldn't find the energy to articulate it. Ron had a hot temper, but shook his head. Snape just wasn't worth it.

Snape saw Ron's expression change from puzzled, to disgusted, to sad, to resigned. Finally, just when he thought the boy would say nothing, Ron raised his hand to activate the Floo and then lowered it, allowing the powder to slip through his fingers back into the container, brushing his hands off on his robes.The young wizard decided that he _would_ say a thing or two, and his irate speech stunned Snape into utter silence.

"You just can't help being a bloody git can you? We have endured, _Hermione_ has endured— your cruel, sarcastic insults for _years_. She is one of the best, kindest people I have _ever_ had the pleasure of knowing. This year she had guys asking her out all the time, but she turned them down. She even turned down Anthony! For you!? We were racking our brains _all_ year long to see what we had missed, some _clue _about her feelings. Who had she spent the most time with… what her interests were... No wonder she left if _this_ is the kind of reception she got. And _still_ she loves you!" Ron stood still rather than pace, giving a lecture that would make his mother proud. "I don't get it. But I tell you what— she _does_ 'get it'. Hermione _knew_ she would be kicked to the curb…"

That phrase stung Snape deeply, remembering Hermione's own words two days ago in Dumbledore's office.

"She knew she would have her use and you would be done with her. She _planned_ to leave. And I thought from her letter, that she was wrong… I thought to myself, 'Any man would see how wonderful she was and they would have a happily ever after.' And here's my answer." Ron shook his head and Snape was disgraced by Ron's reproach. The boy normally stammered too much to give such a barbed tongue-lashing. "You want to know what she said? I'll tell you what she said. She said you made her feel _complete_. How do you like that? And now she's left when she should be here!" Ron's last words were placing all blame on Snape. He might as well have cursed him for the look on the professor's face. Snape's jaw slackened a bit.

"She is ready to graduate, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore interjected.

"No, you misunderstand me. She should be here because _he_ is here," Ron pointed his finger like an accusation toward Snape. "And the only reason I can think of that she is not here, is that she was dismissed like she was…" Ron caught his breath like he couldn't bear to speak it— "Like she was _cheap_." Ron shook his head, his lip quivering in anger. He was going to say one more thing, but bit his tongue and opted for the Floo powder. The green flames cast shadows further exaggerating his tense jaw. "The Burrow."__

Their was a brief silence after the flames died. Snape sat in the seat that Ron had vacated and perched his forehead on his right hand, attempting to rub the tension away from a developing headache.

"She's not cheap. I never thought she was cheap," Severus thought, not realizing his anguished murmur had been received by Dumbledore.

"I know you didn't, my boy," Dumbledore said.

_Complete._ Snape rubbed his temple as the painful words echoed in his head. "She's staying at the Burrow?"

"That is where her parents are yes, Severus." Dumbledore held a glint of caution in his eye, his wrinkles more pronounced as he narrowed his eyes. "What are your plans?"

"You mean what are my _'intentions'_ old man? I don't need this from _you_," Snape hissed. "You act like I'm going to court her or something."

Dumbledore's temper flared behind his beard, making his cheeks flash rather hotly. Tossing a piece of his morning biscuit to Fawkes, he leaned back in his chair and thought for a moment. Dumbledore clasped his fingers together and recalled his discussion with Minerva. Snape needed companionship badly, and Dumbledore was worried that perhaps he might choose this opportunity to finally cling to something good. He had seen Snape's change in behavior toward Hermione in the last months. Minerva hadn't seemed as concerned, perhaps that was because she had stopped seeing Hermione as a young student and now regarded her with the respect of a grown woman. Minerva had encouraged him to 'let things happen naturally'. In the end, he hadn't needed to do anything because the matter had appeared to take care of itself. Minerva would probably hex him for what he was about to say, but at least it was a softened version of what he would've said otherwise.

"I suppose I could say nothing at all since she will no longer be a student here. But your occupation concerns me— and she is concerned for you as well, I'm sure. Perhaps that is as good a reason for her to leave as any." He left it open ended, just in case Severus _had_ done a fool thing like dismiss her. Dumbledore did not dare probe into Miss Granger's personal affairs when she sat before him earlier. She did not need him to rub salt in her wounds.

"You have a talent for pointing out the obvious. Do you really think I would deliberately pursue a relationship with her, knowing that it could put her in jeopardy?" _She's already in jeopardy,_ a little voice said in his head. _You could protect her. _Snape made for the exit, unwilling to remain any longer.

Dumbledore caught him before he left. "Why did you come to see me, Severus?"

Snape stopped but didn't turn around. "It doesn't matter," he said to the door. "She's gone. I'd just make matters worse anyway." Snape left, avoiding further uncomfortable questions.

-------------

In departing through the flames, Ron couldn't imagine how Hermione could have said she felt complete if Snape had treated her so poorly. _But Hermione said he had treated her well… Maybe she was just saying that to put his mind at ease._ Snape was a man who liked to be alone. He alienated everyone. It was just like Hermione to reach out to someone like Snape, if he would be receptive or not. But Ron couldn't figure it out. Hermione wasn't that thick. _She loved a challenge sure, but Snape? How had she fallen for him?_ It was real, of that he was certain. He promised to be there for her and that's exactly what he'd do.

Hermione was at the kitchen table wrapped in her parents' embrace. They had not let her go yet. Mrs. Weasley's cheeks were all red and her face was streaked with happy tears. She had put tea on and was shakily pouring Earl Grey into well used teacups.

Upon seeing Ron, Mrs. Weasley seized him by the neck immediately, kissing and hugging him fiercely as if he were the prodigal child. Ron took a seat at the end of the table, allowing Hermione room to talk with her parents.

"We were so worried…" Wendy Granger said through her sniffling.

"Hermione, why didn't you come to us?" her father asked, disappointed that his little girl hadn't confided in him the way she always had.

Hermione didn't know where to start, and wondered how much she should say. Her gaze shifted about, not wanting to make eye contact and shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

Mrs. Weasley saw her looking kind of cornered, and occupied the space beside her, setting a cup of tea on the table between the distraught woman and her parents. It was a helpful tool, having an object to focus on, an inanimate object to toy with while uncomfortable subjects were discussed. She had known this from experience.

Hermione clutched the tea and nodded her thanks to Mrs. Weasley, who had always been to her recollection a gracious hostess, and a second mother. Hermione mashed her lips together, choosing her words carefully. "If I talked with you, I wouldn't have been able to keep what we were planning a secret. We wouldn't have been able to go through with it…"

"You mean the spell at the Yule Ball," Wendy said.

Hermione sat up a bit in her chair and her eyes widened, seeing how calmly her mother talked about it. Maybe she wouldn't have to do so much explaining.

"I had to fill them in, Hermione," Mrs. Weasley admitted, patting her arm. Hermione turned and saw Ron sitting next to his mother, quietly looking at her. The sympathetic look in his eyes helped her somewhat, but Ron found himself unable to maintain eye contact with her, and instead trained his eyes on his own beverage.

"For the spell, we had to leave. And if we told anyone…"

"Pansy said Dumbledore would've never let you complete the spell," her mother said. "But from what she told us, it sounds like there wasn't much of a choice."

"Pansy talked to you?" Hermione asked, looking more toward her father, who had still said very little.

Robert Granger found his tongue and spoke up.

"Hermione, you had us so worried. The last time we saw you, young lady, we were at our home packing because you said the wizarding world was at war and we needed to hide." His tone was slowly rising and his rate of speech was picking up. "So we packed all of our belongings, and Dumbledore hid us. The only contact we had with you was by letter, and the last letter we received was from you at Christmas. Then you disappear, with no word of your whereabouts…"

"Dad…" She wanted his lecture to stop.

"And all I could think of…"

"Dad please…"

"…was that the war TOOK MY DAUGHTER!" Robert pounded his fist on the table in front of her and the teacups shook. He immediately regretted his outburst after seeing Hermione's face. He had never thrown anything or pounded his fists or raised a hand to either his wife or daughter, though the thought of losing either one of them made him enraged.

Tears welled in Hermione's eyes as she heard her father speak more harshly with her than she could ever remember. She felt his disappointment like a thick molasses in her lungs. Her father couldn't help but speak to her like she was a little girl, but she wasn't anymore. Hermione rubbed her face for a moment and took a deep breath to center herself. She didn't feel the same as she had last year, and everything felt a little strange, a little… out of place. _She _felt out of place. Hogwarts felt different, being with Ron and Harry felt different.

"Dad… I am so sorry." She gripped his arm and looked at him intensely with the brown eyes she had inherited from him. "What did Pansy tell you?"

"She told us that you couldn't complete your part of the spell. She said that you were in love," he said, looking at his daughter with more of the fatherly kindness she knew him for.

Hermione nodded and spoke softly. "I um… I'm in with love someone who I can't be with. Not now… maybe not ever." She closed her eyes and took a sip of tea, and tried to still her hands which were trembling slightly. "I thought I could protect him by hiding, but the spell didn't give me the option of backing out."

"So you completed the spell," Mrs. Weasley said.

"Yes."

All of the adults at the table audibly sighed relief, comprehending the seriousness of that one word statement. _The wards were up._

Hermione rubbed her forehead, lost in thought and made eye contact with Ron again. There was something he wasn't telling.

"Are you alright? That woman with the pink hair…"

"Tonks," Mrs. Weasley offered.

"Yes… she said you lived in a cheap hotel you could rent by the hour in London." Before Hermione could answer her mother continued, "But she said you protected the door with runes, and that you did a good job of things. She said you were a bartender at a club."

Hermione nodded. "Yeah, I needed money, so I got a job pouring shots so I could earn cash for tips. Jake helped me out. He gave me some money to help me start out."

"Harry told us you went to see him but didn't call the cell phone we bought for him," Hermione's father said.

"Wait a second… Ron? How did Harry even get a cell phone to work? Hogwarts, A History says clearly…"

"Hermione," Ron interrupted. "Dumbledore never consults that book to tell him what he can and cannot charm to work. Did you even keep the number?"

Hermione fished in her jeans pocket and pulled out the soft folded piece of white scrap paper that Jake had given her a month ago with the number. She held it up between her two fingers. "I kept it with me always," she said with a smile.

"Why didn't you call?" Ron asked. He stopped pushing his teacup around on its saucer, ending the rattling sound it made.

"If I did, you would've found me. And if I spoke to you, if I heard your voice— I wouldn't have been able to stay away, like I needed to." She breathed a quick breath and shook off the feeling of loneliness. Now all she wanted to do was run back to Hogwarts to Severus' rooms and demand his attention. Hermione tamped her feelings down, buried them low like she had tried to do for months before. "But I'm back now. The spell has concluded, and I'm due to take my NEWTS in a couple of weeks to graduate early." She plastered on a smile to cover her inner turmoil. Diversionary tactics she hoped would work.

"What? Graduate early? After all you've been through, surely you're not ready," her mother said, grasping Hermione's hand.

"Mum, I can't go back to Hogwarts. It's time to move on."

"Move on? Who was this boy anyway, Hermione? I can't believe you left because you couldn't face that. It's not like you to run away from your responsibilities," her father couldn't help but lecture.

Upon hearing the word 'boy', Hermione's lips pursed. Biting her tongue, she hoped she could avoid talking about 'who' and focus on what would happen now.

Mrs. Weasley fiddled with a loose piece of yarn on her crocheted sweater. "Now that you've completed the spell, are you going to be able to continue your relationship like Pansy and Ginny have?" She had heard the full story of the girls' tales of course, but knew by the look in Hermione's eyes that the girl was running. Ron winced inwardly at every painful inquiry, absorbing how Hermione had carefully skirted these questions.

"It's too complicated." Hermione sighed and watched the steam rise from her cup. "I plan to get a flat and begin looking for a job. I've read up a lot on security measures and I think we'll be safe there," she said to her parents, once again trying desperately to avoid an in-depth conversation about a relationship that could not be.

"Actually, we've intruded on the Weasley's hospitality enough," Robert said.

"Yes," Wendy said, taking her husband's hand. "We're ready to go home."

"In Reading? But you can't! It's not safe," Hermione said in shrill voice. Her heart was beating fast. She had lived in fear of discovery for four months. It was hard to stop being so suspicious and distrustful of every choice.

"We've talked to Dumbledore and he has agreed to modify our home. People won't be able to apparate in and out, and our fireplace was taken off the Floo network. He can't make it Unplottable, but we'll be wearing portkeys so that if there is an emergency we can come here."

Hermione was dumbstruck. It was totally bizarre to hear her father speaking fluent wizard. Her parents fingered the identical tiny silver Christmas tree pins they wore on their collars, an odd choice for a portkey in spring. She guessed living with the Weasleys caught them up on a few things, and perhaps made them a bit more accepting of the culture of which she had become a part. For that, she was grateful. They weren't outsiders on her life anymore, and now it might actually be that they could accept that she would take a career in potions or whatever she chose. She knew her parents had always fantasized about her becoming a scientist and attending a Muggle university. '_Perhaps you could even integrate some of what you learned in the wizard world_,' her father would say, like she was on some seven year long conference, and when it ended she would return home with some thrilling new perspective on 'normal' society.

"Maybe you won't mind staying with us for a week or so until you find your new flat, sweetheart?" Wendy asked.

Hermione nodded and hugged her parents again.

"We'll go pack our things. Thank you so much Molly, for having us. You've been such a dear friend." Wendy hugged Mrs. Weasley like a part of her own family and they left the kitchen to the back bedroom.

The famous Weasley clock chimed and cuckooed, breaking the still air in the silent kitchen. Only Hermione and Ron remained. Hermione hooked a finger in the handle, spinning her teacup around in its saucer. "Thanks for being here. You've been… a really good friend."

Ron scooted into the chair his mother had vacated and looked at Hermione. "We, I mean um… Harry and I— we were talking to Dumbledore and um…" He swallowed. "Snape came in."

Hermione paled, her eyes closed and breathed through her mouth. She could feel it coming.

"He assumed we knew I think. I just um… I wanted to be here for you. If you needed to talk," Ron said.

Hermione eyes popped open. She couldn't believe it. No judgment. No lecture. Ron despised Severus. He berated him after every class and whenever they crossed him in the hall for years. Ron was here, but Harry wasn't. _Oh God, Harry._

"I haven't told anyone. Professor Dumbledore somehow… well, you know him, he just _knows_. Severus… We can't… you know he can't… It's too dangerous. I don't know if he'd want to anyway," she said softly. No trace of a tear, but the pain on her face was evident. "Oh God, Ron! What's going to happen to me if something happens to him?" Hermione grew quiet and Ron did what he could do. He pulled her into a hug and held her tightly, wondering how she could feel so strongly about someone who showed nothing but contempt for everyone around him. Obviously Hermione saw something different there.

Mrs. Weasley poked her head in and seeing the pair, ducked out to let them be. Secretly she had hoped that she and Ron would be an item, but that was long ago. Hermione would have never stayed away from Hogwarts for so long if Ron was the object of her desire.

"What did he say?" Hermione asked finally.

Ron let Hermione go. "He said something like, 'What Mr. Potter, not the suitor you would've picked?' I mean what a bastard!" Hermione gave him a stern look. "Don't give me that look, he was being an arse! And Harry almost killed him right there, but I took his wand."

"You didn't!"

"I did. Harry left and Snape goaded me on, so I tried to ignore him. Well, I _almost _left without saying anything. Then I yelled at him, about how you turned other guys down for him…" Hermione's jaw dropped. "Well, it's true! Face it Hermione, you were noticed." Hermione blushed a bit. "I told him that I couldn't believe you loved someone like him. And I basically said he was a stupid git if he couldn't see what a wonderful person you are, and that if he had treated you the way you deserved that you would still be at Hogwarts."

Hermione's eyes were watery and she sniffed. _Ron defended me._

"Was he really good to you, Hermione?" Ron asked softly, a bit embarrassed at asking something so personal of her. He knew what had to have happened, and was as much concerned about her physical wellbeing as her emotional state.

She could only nod, because if she spoke the tears would flow again and she wouldn't be able to stop.

--------------------

"I can't believe her!" Harry kept repeating over and over while he stormed around Gryffindor Common Room, stomping up and down the stairs, generally making a nuisance of himself to all of the students who were trying to study. A dozen huffs and shushing noises later, Ginny finally walked in and decided to see what was the matter with her boyfriend. Harry was wonderful guy, but he had his wearisome moments. She marched up to the boys dormitories and everyone left except Harry. She shut and locked the door.

"What can't you believe?" Ginny huffed, while once again she cajoled her hotheaded boyfriend to rein in his emotions.

"Hermione!" He yelled into the air, then he abruptly turned on Ginny. "Hey…" He pointed and accusing finger. "Did you know?!"

"Damn it, Harry— Stop directing your anger at me!" She calmed her own voice down a notch. "Know what?"

"Hermione and Snape, that's what!"

Ginny's mouth formed a silent 'oh' of realization as all of the little far-fetched clues came back to her— A long summer spent at Headquarters, no interest in other boys, her little research project, her nervousness every morning before a Hogsmeade weekend, her emphasis on how a relationship could never work out. _No way._ _Oh shit… Snape and Hermione! Oh Hermione…_

"I can't believe she had sex with him!" Revolted, Harry's face wore a look of disgust and he continued to pace.

Ginny was kind of sickened too, but that concern really wasn't the first one that sprang to mind. She came to her senses pretty quickly. "Can you believe I had sex with _you_?" Ginny crossed her arms in front of her and plopped down on his bed.

"What are you talking about?" Harry stooped pacing, his angry thoughts interrupted by Ginny's ridiculous question.

"Can you believe that I had sex with you?" She asked more slowly, deliberately enunciating each word.

Harry softened at the change in topic. He hated it when he had no idea what she was getting at, but wasn't about to stick his foot in his mouth. "Of course… but we love each other, it's different…"

"How is it different? Think about it Harry… What happened as soon as I came back from the caves? What was I like?"

Harry grew beet red just thinking about it, and then he superimposed the emotions of an uncontrollable Ginny on Hermione. _Ooohh__… Hermione with Snape. Ick_. 

"That's right Harry," Ginny continued, watching Harry add everything up. "That's why she left, because of that reaction right there. She was afraid of being refused, of being discarded by someone she loved more than anything. At least _we_ get to be together."

Harry didn't know what to say. Anger worked best for him, so he latched on to that. "I'll kill him."

"Harry, don't be stupid! What are you talking like that for? What was Snape going to do, huh? Do you think for one moment you could have refused me? They _had_ to complete the spell so the wards would come up!" She was trying to talk sense to him, but it wasn't working.

"He probably insulted her, he drove her away!" Harry said with clenched fists, and desperately searching for other reasons to be angry with Snape. He was back to pacing.

"You are really beginning to upset me, Harry." Ginny gritted her teeth, becoming truly angry. "First of all, Hermione goes where Hermione _wants_ to go because she's a grown woman. You know he treated her well because she _told you so_. You don't know how Snape feels about her because he's not one to share that sort of thing with anybody. I bet…" she hesitated. "Forget it." She turned her back to him. It would be lost on Harry so she stopped trying.

"What? You bet what?" Harry asked more quietly.

Ginny huffed and faced her lover with tears in her eyes, relieved that she and Harry could be open, have discussions, share their concerns. "I bet that he cares for her more than he can admit. She can't stay because they can't do anything because he's a spy and her teacher. You saw him. He went all over the place, with you, looking for her, talking with neighbors. I saw him knock the mirror over at the Order meeting. She blessed him, Harry. She chose him. You can't tell me that the blessing didn't do something to you…"

Harry sat on the bed beside her and still huffed, but couldn't ignore what Ginny was telling him. He picked a bit fluff off the bed and tossed it on the floor. He took her hand in his and turned it over and over. "I can't believe she loves _him_…"

"But she _does_."

"Poor Hermione," Harry said, tracing the veins on the back of Ginny's hand.

Ginny knew Hermione would eventually be okay. She had friends to support her. Snape was a loner. _Who did he have? Poor Snape._

------------------

Mrs. Weasley was kind enough to escort Hermione to Diagon Alley so that she could get some money from Gringotts and replace her wand. She had been so understanding and surprisingly, as Ron had done, asked very few questions. Perhaps he had talked to her.

"I'll just be little while, Mrs. Weasley."

"Don't you worry, dear. Take all the time you need, I'll just pop in to see how Fred and George are doing." Mrs. Weasley toddled over toward Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, which had become extremely popular in London. So popular in fact, that Fred and George were made pretty respectable by Molly's standards and she finally supported their efforts. They had agreed to return to school the following year, but made arrangements to have off campus privileges to keep their business going. They had plans on employing Dobby to boot, covering their enterprise during the school day.

Hermione could finally perform magic now that she had been deemed 'of age' by the Ministry. It was a relief because she needed to practice off campus. Hermione walked up the step to the narrow crooked door and turned the handle. The memorable tinkling sound could be heard announcing her arrival in a store she hadn't seen the inside of in five, well… seven or so years.

"Well, well, well. Miss Granger, I didn't expect to see you so soon but here you are." Mr. Ollivander's silvery eyes twinkled with a mysterious glint, they seemed almost magical like Moody's swiveling eye. He would've greeted her by describing her wand, but that would have been cruel under the circumstances.

"Good morning, Mr. Ollivander." _This room was filled with options and opportunities_… Hermione looked around the cozy room, the shelves were crowded in tall stacks of wand boxes like some unending game of Jenga… she wondered if the towers of slender teetering cartons ever fell. It didn't quite hold the same magical fascination that her first visit held, and she was a bit sad that she had to replace her old trusted wand at all. _Why did they have to break it?_ She had nightmares about that. She chewed her lip. "Could I ever find another wand?" she thought, and then realized she spoke that thought out loud.

"Ah well, most wizards and witches aren't very happy to replace an old friend, but what an opportunity to make a new one…" He pulled a box off the shelf and tossed it on his desk. "I daresay— you certainly made fine use of your wand. Now, such a pity you have to buy another," Mr. Ollivander regarded her with a cheerful twinkle in his eye— he was only too happy to sell her another wand. "Professor Dumbledore told me you would be coming by…" he pulled a long box from an upper shelf as he murmured her measurements under his breath. Placed the selection on his table, he retrieved two more.

She smiled as he spoke to her in a thoughtful way, his voice raising and lowing with his pleasantries. He was a cordial gentleman.

"Where are your strengths? What will you be using your wand for primarily?"

Hermione's face lost its cheer. Her first reaction would've been to say 'potions' or 'transfiguration'. _But with the war…_She bit her lip and adopted a look the older gentleman had seen on many a long face.__

"I see. Miss Granger, if you will permit me to say so— wands are like love. They become an extension of ourselves, a way of channeling the strongest and best parts of us. Find the wand that suits you, don't choose a wand based on what is currently happening _around_ you. Now that you have chosen what you would like to do with your magical pursuits, you can choose a wand that will give you the best results, and make you the most satisfied. The more satisfied you are with your wand, and with your magical work, the more confident you will feel when _other _opportunities present themselves to use it."

"I thought you always said the wand chooses the wizard."

"Ah yes, but you are choosing right now in your head. You are asking yourself what you want the wand to do. And the wand that chooses will be answering to your wishes my dear. Can you imagine what answers Tom Riddle was looking for when his wand chose him?"

Hermione shuddered. Harry's had the same core... no not the same, but similar. "Are you telling me that Tom's wand did all of those terrible things and not him," she said a little more harshly than she'd intended.

"No. Of course not. But the wand capable of doing those things sensed his intents and selected him because it was able to comply. Hundreds of wands refused his hand... peculiar." Ollivander stopped for a moment looking off at no point in particular. "Ah well, let us get back to your needs..."

"I used my wand primarily for potions and transfiguration. I certainly enjoy charms, but…"

"But that's not where your yearnings lie?" He kicked himself over a few yards on his rolling ladder.

"No. My previous wand was springy, and it worked fine…" She called up to him. The vendor retrieved another box and then shook his head and thrust it back into its place. He looked at her intensely, sizing her up. He was a good listener, always wondering what someone was not saying.

"But…"

"Mr. Ollivander, I had an experience with someone else's wand… but I'm not sure why I felt so connected with it. It was like holding my own for the first time, but it was not at all structurally similar to my own wand."

Mr. Ollivander spun his head to look at her intensely, scrutinizing her._ Interesting._ "I know you've heard me say you'll never get the same results with another wizard's wand, yet—that rule didn't quite apply to you. Did it? That's very rare, Miss Granger, very strange indeed," he said stepping down from the ladder. "And whose wand did you hold, if I may ask?"

She swallowed, wondering if she should say. "Professor Snape's."

_I remember well…twelve inches, dragon heartstring_, _ebony black hickory…_ Mr. Ollivander frowned a bit, deep in thought and quickly withdrew four more boxes from the shelves, all the while muttering… "Stiffer, more inflexible, dragon heartstring… no unicorn hair… ah…"

Hermione thought hard about what she wanted more than anything. _To brew brilliantly, transfigure well, and to defend quickly...__ Defense. God, that really was more important to me than I thought._ She still felt a keen bit of revenge was needed on Malfoy, but deep down what she really wanted was to survive and protect those she loved.

Hermione tried several wands, just like her first day in Diagon Alley, and after five or six wands had been tried, found one that was pleasantly heavy, a deep brown color, tapering to a point that yielded the slightest bit with waving. She could perform her charms, but for work in potions — it would be excellent. She spun it on her hand like she had when practicing the Wall of Desire protection spell. It twirled almost without effort, which was surprising because of its weight. She gave it a wave and sparks shot out of the end, lighting the dark room brilliantly in waves of purple and gold light, a cheering charm made by accident. .

She and Ollivander felt happier already.

"Very good, Miss Granger. There you are. Eleven and a quarter inches, made of ash and dragon heartstring. Are you sure you like the feel of it? It seems you were testing the weight of it…"

"I like it. I like a challenge. It's a good wand. It feels… like a good match," Hermione said, admiring her new wand and thinking about Severus.

"So long as you're sure... you're not hesitant..."

"No. This is the one. I'll take it," she said firmly. She placed twelve gold Galleons on his counter for the wand, noting his prices had gone up, but then she wasn't a student anymore.

Mr. Ollivander was a peculiar fellow who often spoke cryptically, much like Dumbledore, he always left you with the feeling that you went into the store thinking about wands, and left the store thinking about something totally different.

----------------------

Hermione spent a few days with her parents and getting a little more claustrophobic with each passing hour. Her mother kept tiptoeing around her and offering to make her tea. Her father kept checking on her while she read, probably just to make sure she was still there and that she hadn't skipped out or anything. She was doing fine on her own, but their constant over-protectiveness and extreme sympathy for her situation was bloody depressing. She had to get out.

"Mum, Dad?" It was probably one of the first conversations she had initiated with her parents since her departure from the Burrow. "I'm going out, okay?"

"Honey?" Her mother came in quickly from the kitchen, rubbing her hands on her apron. Her father was wearing a matching apron, following closely behind her, nibbling a piece of cheese from ingredients for dinner.

"I'm going a bit stir crazy. I'm going to go next door and see Jake. Is that okay?"

"O-of course it is, Hermione," her mother said a little uncertainly, and then glanced at Robert for his input.

Hermione looked at her wary father and answered his silent question. "Don't worry, I'll be back soon. I'll call if I'll be late. I'm not going anywhere."

Her father sighed. "Hermione, we're sorry. We miss you, but you should go out. Have a good time. I know once you and Jake get together you're bound to lose track of time... Stay out as late as you want."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes… 'girlie girl'." Her father flashed Hermione a wonderfully bright smile, then it faded a bit in recognition of how that term didn't quite sound right anymore.

Hermione beamed back at her father and gave her parents a quick hug. She went back into her seat and picked up the phone. After two rings she heard his familiar 'hello'.

"Jake?"

"HERMIONE! Oh my God! How are you? _Where _are you?" Jake's words spilled out in a rush of excitement.

A smile broke across her face and let the comfortable feeling of friendship enfold her. "I'd be better to have company like you. As for where I am…" she twirled her finger around the twisted telephone cord. "I'm two doors down, same as it ever was."

Jake hung up the phone and Hermione heard the dial tone. She got the hint and ran outside to greet her friend like she should've done two days ago. She slammed the door behind her and saw him running up the street, they collided and he picked her up off the ground in a crushing hug.

"Hermione! Damn, when did you get back?" Jake held her out at arms length, squeezing his hands to test the meat on her bones. Hermione winced, "Two days ago, helping my parents settle in." She hunched her shoulders and tucked her face down, peering up at Jake while bracing herself for the playful slap she knew was coming.

Jake was about to slug her in the arm, but stopped halfway when he finally wondered how exactly her hair had managed to grow out inside of a month. "Hey, is this a wig?" Jake looked at her in confusion, examining her hair with his fingers. "It's real…" _Even some miracle hair serum wouldn't grow her hair out that quickly in a month._

Hermione didn't know quite how to respond, tempted to finally talk to him about her witch status, but knew better. "It is real, just not mine, not yet anyway. I had extensions put in." She was shocked at how well she lied, a skill she slowly developed after a year with Pansy and six with the wacky antics of Ron and Harry. She removed the hair band from her left wrist and pulled her hair back into a bushy knot on the back of her head. She kept it handy to prevent her hair hanging around her while she read, though this time she was trying to prevent a closer inspection of her scalp.

Jake pulled her into a tight hug again. "You look a bit better than the last time I saw you, you know," he whispered into her hair.

"Yeah. I am."

"Want to talk about it over a sub? If you're not too hungry, I bet we could actually split it this time."

Hermione grinned and took a deep relaxing breath. She should have come to see Jake days ago. He always knew how to put her at ease.

Snape had finally found courage enough to go to the Weasley's only to find that Hermione had returned to her parents' home in Reading. He had come to talk with Hermione because he could not, in good conscience, let her think she was cheap or more importantly, let her think that he had so little honor that he would reinforce that belief by childishly avoiding her. It was embarrassing enough to go to The Burrow and not have any excuse to be there, Order business or some such.

Molly was surprised to see him, and actually asked if he had an Order task for her or Arthur. Her heart skipped a beat upon opening the door, and steeled herself for bad news. Snape tended to be the bearer of grim news more often than ordinary conversation, but then she mostly saw him at Order meetings and never at other more sociable settings— especially her own home. When he asked about Hermione, Molly's heart leapt again, fearing for the girl's safety after all she had been through. Snape had quickly dismantled any thoughts of danger with rapid and somewhat tongue-tied speech, and left Molly in a confused wake of wondering why he would need to speak with Hermione at all.

Snape disapparated to a spot just outside of her parents' home, concealing himself behind a bush and in shadow. He had been there before, the lovely suburban street was lined with towering oaks that provided a pleasant shade in beautiful cool weather in late April. Her parents' two-story brownstone stood amidst mature trees. Creeping ivy crawled up the brick, softening the harsh lines and intermingling with a freshly trimmed hedge. Stained glass windows framed the entrance and a large front window opened to their living room. He always disliked that window— it offered no privacy. Now the window was charmed to show a static picture of a living room with no one in it, even though her family was likely home. He could feel the heavy wards around it. It felt like the work of Dumbledore, and while Snape felt a surge of anger, he could hardly direct it at the Headmaster since Snape hadn't bothered asking him if she had moved.

Snape sucked in a sharp breath as Hermione slammed the door and ran down the street. At first he had a mind to chase after her, maybe she was in some kind of danger. Then he saw her collide with Jake as the older boy picked her visibly off the ground, her legs dangling. She was happy to see him. It looked like she was recovering well. F_or crying out loud, it had been less than a week! _Snape felt a pang of hurt, _why wasn't she a bit more distraught? _Jake and Hermione hugged tightly again and Snape thought, _she hugged me like that once. Actually no she didn't. She loved me. Loved? Is she getting over me?_

Jealousy hit Snape hard as he watched Jake and Hermione walk to his house, chatting away amicably, Jake's broad arm hooked around her neck. It was impossible to determine if there was something there. He was about to leave, but decided to continue to watch. He took the position in the back of the house, where it had the most windows. Taking refuge under a shady tree on the hill where the Order members on watch duty used to camp out, he could see clearly through the kitchen window. Soon enough he saw Hermione hugging someone who must have been Jake's mother. Using a charm to see more closely, he watched them make an enormous sandwich. Jake had described this activity to him before, and the description of how hungry Hermione was in finishing the whole thing by herself in five minutes forced him to recall truly, how much she had been through after she nearly starved in the caves. She left the forest with next to nothing and came here with much less, in a filthy mess on this kitchen floor.

Hermione broke herself away from the sandwich making expedition and looked at the linoleum where she lay not a month ago. Jake's mother was asking for her condiment choices but she hadn't heard her. Hermione snapped her head around, "Oh, um mayonnaise and a little mustard. Thanks."

Jake watched her walk the kitchen as she sorted through her experiences. She looked at the floor and her gaze followed a path to the door. Hermione's fingers skimmed the window ledge, retracing her steps.

Snape held his breath as she opened the back door, and descended the steps. She looked around, walking leisurely around the bush she had hidden behind. Finally, she sat on the stone steps and put her head in her hands, rubbing her eyes. Snape could see it from where he was sitting that she was tired. Jake came through and took a spot beside her on the narrow steps and placed the completed sandwich in front of them so they could share it.

Hermione took a deep breath and they ate slowly, cutting jokes and catching up on the latest gossip in the neighborhood. They decided to go in and watch a movie afterward. Halfway through Hermione's portion of the sub, she stopped and put it down on her plate. She felt terribly full, or felt the empty place that could not be filled by a sandwich. She wiped her lips with her napkin, and Jake put down his sandwich too, more intent on Hermione's slow methodical movements and facial expression. Snape noticed their silence, it was deafening from here.

"Are you okay?"

Hermione turned on her friend and wept heavily on his shoulder. She hadn't cried in days and finally let out all of her frustrations and confusing feeling bubble to the surface. She heaved and sobbed, certain all of the neighbors could hear her, and Jake rubbed her back, making shushing noises.

Hermione felt like she was dying. She didn't know what was worse, suffering in her desire and unrequited love, or living after loving him. She couldn't help but think about that night, unable to recall more of the cloudy details of their conversation that evening from her potion induced fog. Jake just held her, comforting her without question. She felt almost a surge of outrage that Jake was holding her and not Severus. She pounded a fist lightly against her friend's chest in futility. The conflict resulted in her clenched stomach and a choke in her throat which only made her cry harder.

Snape's eyes smarted in seeing her sobs. He could kick himself for feeling jealous. He did this to her. She was trying to lead some normal life now and probably felt like she didn't belong anywhere. First she ran from Hogwarts, not even confiding in her two best friends. Now she was in the Muggle world where she couldn't confide in anyone at all. He wasn't going to make it worse for her by dredging everything up when she was trying to put in all behind her. _She'll be better off._

-----------

On the fifth day Hermione was beside herself. She had been studying for her NEWTS non-stop and while she had been extended a very special permission to check out books from the library at Hogwarts, she didn't relish the idea of returning to check out more. She needed a distraction.

Hermione was already preoccupied with where she could live, and decided to write a letter to Professor McGonagall for suggestions of how to begin, as she wanted to explore the possibility of making her flat Unplottable. 12 Grimmauld Place had been that way for ages, but her parents' home was a Muggle place. It would cause problems for everyone who always knew it to be there, neighbors, relatives and other people already knew where it was located. Their only solution would've been to move, and the Grangers were well settled in their home. They weren't about to do that.

Professor McGonagall had done her very best before she left to make sure Hermione knew she had an ear if she needed it, or anything else for that matter. She sent her response by way of owl, and told her that Tonks of all people would be happy to help her locate a place. Hermione shrunk a little in reading the line in her note that read, _'Tonks has been all over London in the last few weeks, she knows all of the out of the way places.'_ Hermione knew it wasn't meant in an ill way, but it just cemented the idea further in her mind that everyone had been looking for her. She was right to think that people kept a lookout for her at home and at Jake's and indeed her other family's homes as well. She felt more guilt at that than anything. But what's done is done.

Tonks' cheery attitude lifted Hermione's spirits as they looked at about a dozen flats, some more financially in line with her means than others. The landlords would leave them be for a bit and Hermione found that you could magic quite a bit in the way of space sometimes, but it didn't necessarily mean that electricity, plumbing and other necessities could be taken care of by magic.

Hermione finally settled for a flat that was somewhere in a more moderate range of price. Her parents were willing to help her out for a month or two until she could get on her feet. She had been promised some of her grandmother's furniture from storage, and gave her a hodgepodge of old kitchen appliances and plates to get her started. It was in central London in a little out of the way place, where privacy for apparating was abundant. There was a nearby grocer and a string of small cafés, coffee shops, and delis. It brightened a rather picturesque backdrop against the typically wet and drearier parts of London.

Walking around the area near her flat, she almost didn't recognize Rue Nineteen as she passed it. _Nooo__… that's silly._ Truthfully, she felt beautiful up there, singing in front of all those people, once her nervous jitters dissipated. But then, she was singing to Severus that evening. She needed to feel beautiful again and kick the uncomfortable past behind her. Realizing that she needed work desperately, she decided to risk it. _Maybe Mr. Phelps… no 'Tom'— maybe Tom would remember Myra Winters. _Hermione looked down at her attire. Her hair hung around her shoulders, she was wearing jeans, sneakers, and a button down collared sleeveless blouse. She frowned. Her attire was a far cry from the sleek camel suit she had worn to her interview_. And how exactly did she expect to get a job from him? _Myra walked out, didn't pick up her pay. She laughed to herself. _It's not as if the moment he sees you he's going to pull out 500 pounds and give it to you._ She looked at her reflection in the window and touched up her lipstick before knocking on the door.

"We don't have any openings for waitstaff right now, I'm sorry," the woman groaned through the door.

Hermione cleared her throat. "Please… is Tom here?"

The woman was a little taken aback at her use of his first name. Her eyes narrowed. "Do you have an appointment?"

"No ma'am, but if he's free later, I can come back." Hermione suggested, trying to sound more professional than she felt in such casual attire.

"Who should I say is calling?"

"Myra Winters," Hermione said, considering on divulging her real name.

The formerly brusque woman disappeared, her last question more polite than her first greeting. After about ten minutes of waiting, Hermione thought she may not return.

She heard the front entrance being unlocked, the woman standing the doorway finally introduced herself. "Myra, I am sorry to keep you waiting. Tom was on the phone." She opened the door wider to allow Hermione to walk past her. "I'm Angel Birstwith, one of the assistant managers here. He was really surprised to hear that you came to see him. That was quite a disappearing act you did…"

Hermione cringed, shocked that he would even remember her, and in the same vein she was embarrassed that she had earned a reputation for disappearing. She hoped that wasn't the only thing he would remember about her.

Any response was prevented by distance, as Angel walked ahead of her, leading Hermione to his office behind the backstage area. Tom Phelps was smoking a cigar behind his desk, and he hung up the phone. Several cigar butts were evident in the large ashtray on his desk. _Nasty habit_, she thought.

Hermione crossed into his office, a bit startled when Angel shut the door behind her, leaving her alone with the club owner.

"Myra, I hope you don't expect me to pay you for work you did a year ago," Tom said irritably.

Hermione's cheeks pinked and regained her composure. "I actually came to see if you may have an opening…"

"Ha! If you're offering your services for free, then you have a deal," he said with a smirk, snuffing out his short cigar into the tray in front of him.

He was in a joking mood so Hermione decided to take it as a good sign. "I apologize for running out after the performance."

"Why exactly was that? You were fabulous…"

_He said I was fabulous._

"…the crowd loved you," he grumbled into a new cigar he was chewing on.

"Um… someone saw me there who had a less than desirable reputation and I left to avoid a confrontation," she explained cryptically.

"Old boyfriend, eh?" he guessed, clipping off the end with an oval cigar cutter.

Hermione didn't have the energy to come up with a better lie. She shrugged.

"I at least expected you to pick up your pay. 500 pounds is nothing to sneeze at."

Hermione eyes widened, but didn't push the matter, even though she should have. She watched him light his cigar, and puffed it until the end glowed.

He continued. "Well then, I suppose I should thank you for the loan, but don't expect any interest alright?" Hermione watched as he pulled a ledger from his drawer and began to cut her a check.

"Tom, let me begin by saying my name is Hermione Granger. Myra Winters is my stage name." She couldn't imagine explaining the name issue to the bank.

"You don't say. I can see why you might want a different name, so many patrons try to look up the divas that sing in places like this. You can't imagine the people who came up to ask about you…"

_People asked about me?_

"Funny I couldn't get a hold of Misty Burroughs to reach you. I think she moved."

_Oh, Misty! Of course. _"Yeah, we lost touch." She tried to hide with excitement in her tone.

"Your voice sounds different," he noted. She couldn't tell whether he disapproved.

Hermione smiled, and deepened her voice, putting on a sexy smile. "You mean I'm not all breathy…"

Tom coughed on his smoke, and his lips curled appreciatively. "I guess you were working pretty hard to get that job last year. How badly do you need work now?"

"I could work," she said with an aloof expression, "if we _renegotiate_ our fee." _That was gutsy. You're Myra Winters, sexy devil— not 19-year-old Hermione Granger with her parents supporting her._

He laughed. "I'll pay you the standard fee of 1200 pounds for two nights including three practices. I have someone for this weekend but they wanted to reschedule. If you work Friday night and Saturday night you'd need to practice with the band for two hours each Thursday through Saturday. Get the music from Stevens, the band conductor, and choose your music. We have a request box and typically derive the program from that." He handed her the check. "We prefer to rotate several acts, so you possibly could be worked in every other weekend, or every third weekend. How does that sound?"

"It sounds fine, Tom. And thank you."

Mr. Phelps appreciated the calmer woman before him. She was collected, carried herself well, and seemed more real than the shrewd overconfident personality she initially presented. Last year, they were both desperate for an act. And while Hermione Granger needed the money, she appeared more trustworthy and genuine than 'Myra' had shown originally.

"Stevens comes in at three and practices are from three-thirty to five-thirty May first and second."

Hermione paled. NEWTS were only four days from now, her eyes darted around nervously, searching for the words to excuse her conflicting schedule.

"Hermione, you're not planning on going anywhere are you?" Tom asked tersely, smoke curling out from his nostrils.

"Tom, oh. I'm sorry," she stammered, flushing with embarrassment. "I have finals Friday, for school. I should be done by four-thirty, do you think we could work out an arrangement? I apologize, but I can't reschedule my tests." _Way to go Hermione, keep committing yourself to something to can't finish._

He chuckled softly at her uneasiness. "Relax, woman. I'm sure Steven can work out something." Tom picked up the phone and began to dial. Before Hermione knew it, she had spoken with the band conductor and worked out the details, practicing an extra hour on Thursday. Her heart raced a little, knowing she was going to be spending several hours this week on vocalizing with the band, when she should be pouring over Charms and Transfiguration. Honestly, she had spent all of her time studying since she left Hogwarts and the change of pace was a pleasant distraction.

By Tuesday, the apartment was ready, Hermione paid the deposit and first month's rent. She spent the better part of two days scrubbing the place down, painting the walls a lovely rich red for the den and a deep warm orange in her bedroom. She built bookshelves and hung pictures, which was mercifully faster with the aid of her new wand. The movers delivered her grandmother's furniture from storage. Grandmother Meme had some nice pieces— the vintage fabrics on the chair and couch reminded her of her grandmother's home as well as Hogwarts. It was feeling a little more like her own home as she put up pictures of her family, Harry, Hagrid and the Weasley's. A picture of a summer spent at Headquarters, and one from the previous Christmas. She reached the bottom of the box and sighed. She did not have any pictures of Severus. The sonnet, the original seal… all of that work and even her own copy of his book was all back in his office. Hermione ran her fingers through her hair, inadvertently loosening the hold her hair band had on her thick waves and forced it back into place, securing it with the band once more. Maybe she'd be together enough to go to the dungeons and ask for it after her NEWTS.

She had other things to discuss with him anyway. He had all of the virginal blood, and she promised each of the girls would brew healing potions from their blood and provide them with a supply. In addition, Hermione imagined the remaining blood would be used to make healing potions for the war, just in case. That was something she would need to discuss with him. She had turned the responsibility of those vials over to him, and ultimately it would be up to him what he chose to do with the contents.

A rapping at her door brought her out of her deliberation and she stood to take a peek through the peep hole.

"Professor Dumbledore, thank you for coming!" Hermione was all flustered as the exceptionally tall wizard (or maybe it was just the hat) bowed through her front door.

"Hermione, it is good to see you looking so well. And now that you are no longer a student, I hope that you will call me Albus."

Hermione's eyes popped out a little and shook her head. "Sir, I think that will take some getting used to." She wondered which wizards were even inclined to call him by his first name at all. So many people still addressed him as Professor Dumbledore. Even McGonagall had asked her to call her by her first name, but it just didn't sound right flowing off her tongue.

Albus beamed at her smugly. "Not 'sir'. Albus."

"Albus." She wondered if he was testing her. It just didn't feel right.

Dumbledore smiled at her discomfort and changed topics. "What a charming place! Red!" He held out his arms to look at the den. "My favorite color," he said with a twinkle.

Hermione was proud of her decorating, but she hadn't really chosen the paint for her Gryffindor spirit. It just gave the room a pleasantly cozy feel. She gave him a brief tour and he admired each of her pictures and asked about each of her family members. He wasn't going through some scripted speech. Dumbledore genuinely did seem to care and want to know about her. He seemed in no particular rush, even though it must have been a school day. He had put special time aside for her. She could only feel flattered.

"How are you doing finding a job? Have you even had time to look?"

Hermione wondered how much she should say. "Well, I have some options for short term work until I can find something in the magical world. I have to make a few contacts and I'll be fine until I can figure out what to do."

"What do you see yourself doing, Hermione?"

She looked seriously at him and knew what he was asking. He wasn't talking summer gigs, he was asking _career._ "I had wanted to pursue an internship in potions to become a potions mistress," she confessed. "I really would prefer to stay here in England, where I can work with the Order, rather than move to Russia to study or some far off place. Um… under the circumstances, I don't think it would really be best to pursue that right now. I had planned on asking Se—Professor Snape for an apprenticeship a year from now, but of course here we are."

Dumbledore regarded her determined look for a moment. "I see. Hermione, I don't think you should put your life on hold for anyone. I am sure when you decide what is best for you, you will not hold back and go after it."

Hermione gritted her teeth and tried her best not to be angered by his comments which seemed to hint strongly toward a course of action that would take her away from Severus. But Dumbledore often spoke so vaguely, that such generalities invited a wide interpretation that one could never be sure if there wasn't some hidden meaning there. His next statement didn't help settle her mind any. If anything it made her decidedly more perplexed.

"In the meantime, I will refrain from encouraging you to seek out Severus and ask him for the internship you are so well suited for. He discussed with me your research last year and I must say I was very impressed by your efforts… as was he. Speaking of Severus…"

_Here it comes…_ she thought.

Dumbledore pulled a small purse from his pocket and enlarged it. It was her bottomless bag! "Thank you, Pro- Albus." Hermione clutched it quickly, seeing the tapestry a bit worn but looking as bright as when she purchased it.

"Dobby saw to it that this was cleaned properly so that it still retains its magical properties. I'm sure it will continue to be of good use to you."

"Thank you!" Hermione said, putting it on her dinner table. Reaching in, her eyebrows wrinkled in puzzlement as she pulled out a large stone. Her facial expression fell seeing one of the two stones she had selected from the riverbed. She peered in the bag and caught a glimmer of the seal on "Revitalizing Potions for The Modern Age." Hermione licked her lips and swallowed, trying to maintain her equanimity, while she had felt like the wind had just been knocked out of her. All of her belongings from the cave were there.

_Coward._ He hadn't even brought them himself, no note, no owl. In fact, he probably sent them to avoid her from coming to pick them up. _What did you think he was going to do anyway, bring them to your flat? Suggest a relationship?_

"He thought you might be needing these things…" Dumbledore said, making an excuse for the wizard who should have talked to her himself at least. He knew Hermione would be upset with the impersonal delivery of items. Dumbledore had been a bit disappointed in Severus, yet had not refused to be a courier. Perhaps somewhere in his heart, Dumbledore still wanted them to keep some distance, so that they could wait things out, and think logically about the matter.

Tongue in cheek, Hermione shook her head and waved him off. She didn't want to hear Dumbledore try and describe what Severus' intent was. He was avoiding her. There wasn't even a note.

Dumbledore sighed, interlocked his fingers and changed the topic. "Well then, Minerva told me that you were wanting to make your flat Unplottable? I must discourage you from doing this as I believe you would prefer to get your mail without difficulty? Also, it is highly improbable we could succeed without causing legal problems since your flat is only one of several in a building with non-magical residents."

Hermione puzzled herself, surprised she hadn't thought of that. "Can't you make just the flat Unplottable?"

"It is exceptionally difficult, but could you imagine the difficulties that would cause if your landlord tried to collect rent, or if you had a fire? How would the postal service find you? Muggles are already aware of the existence of the apartment. I think the best idea is to make you the secret keeper for your own flat…"

"A Fidelius charm, like Headquarters?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Yes. You could be very specific about who you tell, and only you could give your location out."

Hermione looked a little disappointed. She really did want to live in a fortress like Hogwarts. _Of course even its wards had proven to be vulnerable to attack._

Dumbledore read her concerned look and patted her arm. "That's not to say that you couldn't ward this place. I bet an occasional rune wouldn't hurt. Nymphadora told me how difficult it was to get into your previous residence." Dumbledore gave her a wink.

Hermione gave him a pleased grin. He was right— she was being too difficult. Runes would be a personal touch.

"Shall we?" Dumbledore began erecting wards around the entrance and windows. He watched with some interest as Hermione placed a powerful room sealing charm on an extra bedroom which held bookshelves, a large angled desk and a set of French chairs with elegant woodwork. It seemed a bit odd to him that she would place such a strong spell in a room she likely used for recreation at the moment. _She has an office or study even before finding employment_. He guessed Hermione found solace in her work independent of a paycheck or school activities that would require her study. _Such an admirable trait.__ Always pushing herself. She would be a valuable asset to the Order. _

After performing the Fidelius charm she wrote down her address and showed it to Dumbledore, because once he left he would promptly be unable to find her flat. She gave him instructions to show it to Harry, Ron, and Ginny, even though it was doubtful that they could come during the summer. Sealing her Floo prevented unscheduled visitors. In addition he erected an apparition barrier so that apparition was only possible outside of the building.

Hermione felt much better after Dumbledore spoke with her about security measures. She had her own wards, plus ones erected by one of the most powerful wizards alive. She would sleep well, she thought.

There were periods of awkward silence, and Dumbledore noticed that Hermione was distant, distracted. He left with her sadness on his mind, and wondered how Severus was managing. His initial reaction was pretty agitated, but since then he had been quiet and terse, yet docked less points than he normally did. They both seemed emotionally exhausted. Albus decided he would have to give her some time, but not too much. If Hermione was too idle, she would go mad from dwelling in her grief, as he had seen a number of others do in desolate times. Dumbledore resolved to extend Order membership as soon as he could. She needed to be a part of something, now that her losses were so great.

Hermione thanked him for coming and saw him to the door, once again finding herself alone. She busied herself by transfiguring a pencil into a paintbrush and conjuring some black paint. Taking her Ancient runes text out, she set to writing out a long line of protective runes on her doorjamb, windows, and vents. After they were dry, she spelled most of them to be invisible except the ones at her front door. They appeared almost decorative (but not without function), and the people she planned to invite here would appreciate the concept and humor behind it.

She felt flattered that Albus Dumbledore himself came to cast the protective charms on her apartment personally. Up until now, Hermione hoped she hadn't taken it for granted that such important wizards and witches were employed at Hogwarts. They were all so talented, generous, and giving with their time. Albus was renowned for the defeat of Grindewald, insanely infamous for being a crazy man with wicked wand skills, and wildly intelligent— Hermione found herself missing Hogwarts already. Did students not really realize what resources were at their disposal until they were gone?

Hermione sat alone in her new apartment. She purchased an owl, leaving one at her parents so they could use it for emergency communication to the wizarding world. Finally she had her own phone so she could at least call her parents or Jake. At last she felt like she was moving on, her first practice with the band was tomorrow. She laughed to herself. She was working in a club… again. It was kind of humorous, really. _At least I'm not pouring shots in a smoky club and living in a rat trap. _Her mind wandered to Gabe, Roxy, and Danny. On impulse, her fingers found the telephone and dialed the Shot.

"Nick, here."

"Nick, this is He- Kate."

"Kate who? My bartender…the Kate who walked out? Are you dead, in the hospital?"

She was stunned, remembering the rules. "I'm sorry, Nick. I had an…"

"…emergency, I know kid. You alright?" He asked seriously.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I apologize for leaving so quickly."

"I knew when I hired you that you wouldn't stay. I'm just glad that bastard didn't get his hands on you. Frank told me all about it. And you had friends looking for you. Why didn't you tell me you were underage?"

Hermione bristled. "I am not underage! Who told you that anyway?"

Nick shook his head. He should have known. "Never mind. It's alright."

"Thanks. Things are… better. Did you find a new bartender?"

"Are you asking for your old job back?" Nick asked with a groan.

"Heavens, no," she snorted. _No more lifting forty pound cases of liquor for me, thank you_.

"Good, because both positions have been filled."

"I'm sorry, both?" She wondered who else left, maybe Frank, his mother was ill.

"Danny left."

"Really? He was there for years with you," Hermione was impressed. _Maybe he moved on like he promised._

"Yeah, we was the best bartender I had," Nick said regretfully. Hermione could hear him exhale smoke from his cigarette over the phone. _What was it with managers and smoking anyway?_

"He's actually why I called, do you have his number? I wanted to see how he was, maybe catch up."

"You mean let him know that you are among the living? We've been worried sick about you, Kate."

"Nick. Thank you for your help. I was really in a low place when you met me, but I'm doing a lot better now. I really have to thank you for allowing me to work there so quickly. I really needed the job." Her voice was genuine and sincere. She almost choked up thinking about how close she was to homelessness in London that day. She didn't know what she would've done to improvise without him.

"You're welcome," Nick said, sounding a little misty himself. Deep down, he was a softy. "You got a pen handy? Danny would love you hear from you, I'm sure. He said you were one of the reasons he quit."

"Really?"

"Something about a bet."

Hermione smirked.

"I should be upset, but I guess he's better off. He's going back to school. Got into Oxford— how do you like that?"

Hermione was smiling too wide to speak.

She and Danny spoke on the phone for a long while and made plans to get together after her performance at Rue Nineteen on Saturday, a little joint graduation/college acceptance celebration combo. He promised to bring Frank and Roxy. Gabe had already left for the summer with his family as soon as his last final was over.

When she hung up the phone, she was still alone in her flat with nothing to do, but read what was already read, and practice her music…

_And drat! The piano was still at headquarters…_ She could move it later.

Loneliness pressed on her more heavily as Crookshanks hadn't seen fit to forgive her for her four month disappearance. Technically she had discussed it with him, but that didn't necessarily mean the ginger ball of fur approved of her decision. Melanie kept him for one month, then Ron and Harry did until Crooks absconded from Gryffindor House and gallivanted around the grounds as he pleased. He had reportedly fought with Mrs. Norris, much to Filch's consternation. Filch threatened to make violin strings from his guts but Crooks was nigh uncatchable. She saw him briefly before leaving Hogwarts and was dismissed by Crookshanks' backside and crude swish of his tail, the feline equivalent of flipping her off. It looked like she might be forgiven yet, but she'd have to make a second attempt when she returned for her NEWTS.

Hermione felt exhausted and adjourned to her bathroom to change for bed. She slipped into a long, thin cotton sleeping gown, and took down her hair, brushing it before she went to bed. She took one look at her grandmother's large empty four poster bed and knew she couldn't sleep there. Grabbing one of the pillows, she padded into the den, laid on her couch, and pulled one of her grandmother's afghans from the back of old divan over her. Hermione was quiet and dared not make a sound as she waited for sleep to overtake her.

As her mind relaxed and wandered about various, seemingly unconnected ideas she felt herself teeter on the precipice of sleep, jerking awake every few minutes as she adjusted to the creeks and noises in her new surroundings. First it was the icemaker, then a cat down the street, then the footsteps of a neighbor… _Down, down, down… _her mind dropped into peacefulness, half conscious and beginning to will her mind to think of him. Of his soothing voice_…'Hermione…' _

_'You can't love me Hermione. You don't know me…' _

She answered her own memories, _But__ I do love you… I do… 'Don't pretend,'_ she remembered and then her eyes popped open.

_He hadn't pretended. He wasn't pretending… he couldn't. _

His words came back to her so clearly now— _'In__ January it would have been easier for me to reject what you said and how I feel. Hermione, I don't think I really knew what I lost— until you were gone.' _

_Now that she was truly gone, how did he feel? _Hermione felt goosebumps flush her skin as the rest of his passionate remarks echoed in her mind, searing her heart.

_'You think you are the only one who can feel strong emotion? That you are the only one who is afraid someone else won't understand? You made me crazy with worry for you.' _

_'I'm glad they didn't fade. Hermione, ever since you left… you've stayed with me. If something had happened to you…' _

He almost… he had almost told her he cared. Not outright, but he showed her. He hadn't pretended. After the wards came up he continued to remain open to her, saying very little, but maintained eye contact, touching her intimately, slowly… permitting sleep only in the wee hours.

"Severus, I need you…" She wrapped her fingers around her pillow and slipped into an anguished sleep, waking up in the morning with tears still on her cheek.

-------------------

Snape did his best to ignore what happened. Everyone else seemed to be getting along well enough. There was no neon reminder of the spell anymore during mealtimes and all students appeared to be focused on their studies, or their peers. Weasley and Potter had even stopped giving him nasty looks, or at least Weasley had scowled enough at Potter to discourage him from further sneering.

Hermione had never returned to his class. She would never again raise her hand in the air, or coach her peers through their lessons. All of the students appeared not to notice her absence, as they had 4 months to grow accustomed to her being gone. But as far Snape was concerned, he had to start all over again. He couldn't get used to her absence, and he didn't want to.

Gratefully, Ron and Harry seemed to keep the news to themselves because the rumors Snape feared that would spread about him and Hermione were non-existent. It appeared that only Minerva had been told of the issue and she had remained silent. At times, after staff meetings she would ask about him politely, and there would always be that something in her eye that suggested she was asking a bit more than just how his day was. Snape rebuffed any attempts by Minerva to reach out to him, and noted that Dumbledore avoided addressing any of his concerns on the matter. And Snape was certain he had concerns.

The end of term was mostly boring and tedious. Students quietly waited for the end of every class, willing the summer to come. Draco had his best semester yet academically speaking in potions. He frequently saw Pansy and Draco together, and marveled at how he also conversed with Potter and Weasley _sans_ hexing. Something important happened this year for him, and it so easily could have gone in another direction.

Snape would always begin his classes with a firm and disgusted tone of voice but his heart wasn't in it. He was tired. The wards had been up for a week. It was only a matter of time before the Dark Lord called them all for a meeting, and he could almost hear a loud ticking sound signifying the end of his days on this earth, or at least a trip to St. Mungo's for the cursing he would suffer. He was surprised he hadn't heard from Lucius, but then, Snape had threatened to kill him. And he still meant it.

The days were fine mostly. It was the evening hours that caused problems for him. He threw himself into his work, grading papers, planning lessons, brewing potions for his and Madame Pomfrey's stores. But the end of everyday brought the inevitable need for sleep. Since he had sworn off more sleeping potions and other sleep aids, he would lie awake in his bed, desperately trying to empty his head of all emotion, and find himself unable to do it. When he closed his eyelids he saw her smiling face, leaning over him looking at him in such a way that he could not deny her love for him. He could see her unruly locks of hair tangled about her face, and the apples of her cheeks high as she grinned at him. In those small moments Snape could not ever remember possessing such a feeling of contentment and utter joy, and in the same moment realizing she was not there he felt a sharp pang of loss so deep it weakened him.

After Snape turned spy, after all of his sins were laid bare to Dumbledore, Snape did not feel he deserved any measure of happiness. He would live his life in service and gladly die for the cause to bring the Dark Lord to his knees. Snape was a proud man, and being a repentant Slytherin was not easy. Snape was not about self-pity, though he pretty much felt he was a lost cause. Remus and Dumbledore had encouraged him on more than one occasion to settle down, date, or find some extra-curricular something to occupy his time in a productive way outside of work, outside of the Order. His new book was as close as he got, but even then it was a solitary occupation. It did not require him to go out and talk with anyone really, or risk anything emotionally. Now, Snape's world was turned upside down and on its ear.

When he closed his eyes and remembered Hermione looking at him he realized she didn't expect him to be deserving or earn anything. He could either accept her love or not. She left it up to him. Everything in Snape's life had been on conditional terms, strings were always attached, hence Snape's motto 'nothing is what it seems.'

But with Hermione, everything was _exactly_ what it seemed. It had been so difficult for him to trust and count on people, but he knew he could rely on her. She was honest, she laid everything out. _'I want you know without a doubt— I love you, Severus. I will always love you. Whenever, if ever, you are ready for more, I will be here_.'

_How could he push her away? _Snape had distanced himself far too much. To protect himself, to protect other people. The tradeoffs of being a spy.

_"What on earth are you waiting for?"_ Minerva had asked. Of course, she had said that about his putting any personal relationships on hold in general and not about Hermione Granger. He was sure Minerva would disapprove of him pursuing her star pupil.

He felt guilty for sending her items without a note, but he had tossed aside five attempts before accepting that nothing he could say would be sufficient.

Rolling his head to the side, he glanced across the room, catching a glimpse of his book out of the corner of one eye. He decided to make up for his previous error.

------------------

After her first practice with the band and a bit of dinner, she packed her belongings and headed up to Hogwarts. She felt like she would test better if she spent the night up there, rather than apparate in the wee hours of the morning. Besides, she had business to attend to, and she couldn't put it of any longer. She hoped almost two weeks might be long enough to settle her heart down enough for a civil conversation with Severus, but if he was as rattled as she had been, they might have a time of it.

Hermione raised a shaky fist and knocked at his door, the sound more confident than she felt.

"Enter," came the deep baritone sigh. It irked her that he always seemed dismayed at any student's knock. _Why on earth had he become a teacher if they were such a bother?_

Hermione walked in and shut the door behind her. "I hate to impose on you, but I needed to talk with you about the Christmas present I sent." She explained her purpose immediately. _Stay on topic, don't cry. Get out alive._

Snape looked up from his papers, his expression difficult to read. The hard lines from his face were gone though. "What is it that you need?" _Please talk to me._

_God._ That question left her wide open for a straightforward remark, but she didn't take the bait. _Stay on topic, keep it together. Don't make it more difficult for both of you. _"The members of the SOS don't know who I gave their blood to. It belongs to you now, so I suppose you can do with it as you choose." Talking about an Order-related subject was a safe ground.

His eyebrows rose at her tentative comment, which was laced with a bit of deference. She knew he was in his full rights to refuse her request. But Snape would not refuse her. _How could he? How could she think he would deny her this? She was clearly trying to be bold in asking at all._

"My intention was to make a nice batch of healing potion from each sample of blood given and make a few extra for ones who didn't participate. It will be pretty powerful for those who use potion made from their own blood, or give it to blood relatives. I would suggest we could use the rest for the upcoming war. The potion will keep indefinitely. We can make a batch of topical cream also, for gaping wounds and poisoning when antidotes aren't handy." She offered more suggestions and a lengthy explanation to ensure his agreement, even though with Snape an affirmative response was not what any student could normally expect.

Though she didn't have to qualify her request, he would have given what she required. He trusted her that much.

"It's pretty quick to prepare. Would you like to use the lab now?" Snape inquired quietly.

"Yes, thank you." Hermione was taken aback at his offer, but it made practical sense. She didn't know when she'd get another chance to return. She refrained from saying 'sir' or 'Professor' or 'Severus.' She noticed that he avoided calling her by her name as well. Focusing on the task at hand made it only partly easier to ignore the deafening silence in the dungeons as he marked papers quietly.

She brought the unmarked box to his desk, and he looked at her, puzzled for a moment. "It will not open, not even for me." She placed the box in front of him and longed for him to touch her, but he waited for her to withdraw. He seemed distant, but not cold. It was awkward.

He was impressed at the lengths she had gone to protect such a dangerous substance. In the wrong hands (and not so many years ago, his hands _would have_ been the wrong hands) virginal blood could be used in the most terrible and dark magic.

Snape shuddered to think about it. He touched the lid, fingering the clasp and it opened quite easily— frightening. She smiled and thanked him, returning to the work station. He found it interesting that Hermione had considered the worst possible scenarios before sending it to him. She undoubtedly had cursed it not to be used in an ill way, or perhaps she was making a serious threat on him if he did use it for dark magic? _Did she trust him that much?_ That thought astounded him. She didn't even have the confidence that she herself could not be turned or compromised. Of course she would know where it was, who to go to. If Hermione knew about someone as obscure as Gesupelte, surely she knew what horrifying and tempting potions could be created from her own blood… stronger truth serums… pain inflicted beyond imagining… mind altering potions that made Imperio forgivable.

He watched her out of the corner of his eye, looking up occasionally from his work. He wanted to talk with her, but with her handling such delicate and costly materials he did not wish to distract her with such emotionally charged conversation. A little voice in the recesses of his brain lectured him— 'You're making excuses Severus.'

She pulled two large cauldrons and did some quick math. It would take her 30 minutes to make a large batch of potion and cream. Dividing each cauldron into 26 parts, she removed two drops of blood from each vial and mixed it with contents of each bowl. She decanted and labeled each immediately. The last twelve she made carefully. The placed a drop of blood each from her, Ginny, and Pansy and mixed the last batch of potion. Six of the potions and creams were for Pansy, Ginny, and herself. She felt Kendra and Melanie should receive a supply of potion and cream more than anyone. Hermione hoped that the combination of their blood would make it tremendously powerful. She didn't want Kendra and Melanie hurt anymore. The last two flasks were for Severus. She couldn't stop herself from making it. She cleaned up, and couldn't help but sigh when she saw that he had left her alone. _Alone._

Perhaps he couldn't bear for her to be there. It made her feel marginally better to think that her presence did mean something to him, and therefore he left to avoid that pain. If he truly cared nothing for her he would have resumed his callous comments and rude behavior. In the same moment she felt a stab of pain in her heart in the thought that she had deliberately inferred something from his absence that he likely had not intended. _Why couldn't he just be here and talk to her? Why couldn't he tell her how he felt or spell out what the limitations were? _She hated that she kept deliberately reading into things that weren't there just to placate her bruised heart.

_Son of a bitch.___

She boxed up the potion and cream, leaving it with a note on the desk. She closed the lid on the box she had charmed to open only for him, and left it warded on his office chair. _Be well, Severus._

Snape paced in his bedrooms letting off the frustration boiling underneath the surface of his skin. He was terrified, not knowing what to say. _What was there to discuss? How empty his rooms felt now that she was gone? It was useless to explore the apologies for a relationship that could never happen, but then she was going to be an Order member soon… how were they going to break the awkwardness of that? _He returned to his office, disgusted with himself that he was avoiding her in such a way after going to seek her out not a week before. Hermione had always been so gracious. She didn't push. She could have been cold. She could have sent him a note asking him to make the required potion but she didn't.

Snape paled and his head fell with disappointment— seeing the immaculate classroom, free of any sign she had been there. Snape ran to his classroom door and saw no one in the hallway. He ran toward the front of the ground and before he could catch her, saw her disapparate from the edge of the grounds. Snape felt like he was making the same mistakes all over again. In school he couldn't manage to talk to a girl, apologize for any wrongdoing, or share anything about himself. Now that she was gone, he could think of a million things he wanted to ask her about. _What was she planning to do for work?_ _Is she alright? Was she angry with him?_

Snape slammed his office door and took his seat behind his desk, seeing the locked case of vials in his chair, and the potion she had left for him. It was labeled _H.P.G. _He smirked. _So a drop from each?_ He picked up the folded paper, the writing revealed as he touched the message. Clever charm work for notes you didn't want just anyone to read.

_I know you are quite able to brew this yourself, but would like to ask that you keep a tiny amount on your person at all times. If you wear it around you neck, it shouldn't be noticed and would be handy if you were unwell. Please be safe. H_

Months had passed since she'd blessed him and still she was going out of her way to protect him. Snape wondered why he hadn't brewed it earlier. It was an ugly time whenever he was punished at a Death Eater meeting, and given recent events he was truly surprised he hadn't been called yet. He went to his bedroom and retrieved a long chain, slipping on a pendant with a vial. He had several, though he hadn't used them often. He poured in a small amount of potion immediately, careful not to spill a drop. The costly opalescent liquid held a piece of her— he wouldn't squander it.

He wouldn't.

---------------

Hermione couldn't stay after seeing him, and rather than spend the night at Hogwarts like she'd planned, instead apparated back in the morning to take her NEWTS. In the end, she felt it helped her confidence. She saw herself as an already graduated student coming back to take some tests she'd missed. She felt she handled herself well and with the poise of a professional. Instead of worrying herself to death over every little question like she used to, she found they went surprisingly well. Four months alone could change one's perspective on what is and isn't important enough to worry about.

Her potions NEWT was uneventful. It was mostly essay with some practical mixed in, but Professor Sprout was the attending Professor for that exam. She didn't know why the professors for the respective tests didn't match up with what they taught. She didn't see Professor Snape as she entered her DADA NEWT. She had selected to take a practical 'exercise' rather than engage in a simple demonstration of defensive techniques as had been done with charms and transfiguration

She found her way to the labyrinth, as she would be tested in the maze.

"Miss Hermione Granger?"

"Yes, sir."

The large broad shouldered wizard wore a bright gold badge that read: Examiner Alfred Darley. There were four other examiners present, all eyes on her. It was intimidating to say the least. What she couldn't figure out was how they were going to grade her if they couldn't see inside the maze.

"You will walk to that point and have one hour to complete your exam. You are being timed, and you will be _pursued_." He gestured to two rather eager looking wizards behind her, wands at the ready.

_God, I'm going to be chased!_ She willed her heart to slow, already calculating her first moves, her wand dropping smoothly in her hand. She had been by Harry's side since the beginning, helped found the DA, the SOS, faced Voldemort and the Death Eaters… she had been through hell and back. _They were no match for her, were they?_

"Ready… go!"

The hedge closed behind her, effectively sealing her in the maze for the test. A few spells from her hunters sailed past her but failed to hit their mark. Hermione took off at a dead run, fooling her followers into thinking that she would expend a lot of energy by being too aggressive at the outset. She ran quickly ahead and then slowed, creeping silently along the hedge, careful to be mindful of the plants growing there— strangling vines, Devil's snare and other deadly plants.

She thought for a moment about who was grading her, and wanted to show off as little as possible, yet she still had to show sufficient advanced NEWT level spells. She almost regretted not taking the easier exam, it would've betrayed fewer of her skills. If the judges were watching, they were also making note of her competencies…a dicey chance at tipping her hand in the upcoming battle where anyone could be her enemy. She was beginning to regret a little of her decision to take the practical. Since January, she preferred to keep a low profile.

There were several mindteasers, reminding her something of Professor Snape's logic puzzle which had protected the Philosopher's Stone. She solved the riddles and puzzles quickly, grateful for the lack of a chess match. Solving the last of three puzzles, she stepped through the formerly solid mirror to the other side. Though unaware of it at the time, Hermione had just made it over halfway through the maze.

The world became black and she blinked. She found upon closing her eyes, she was able to see and walked forward. A few more steps and the world turned upside down, her stomach lurching— she remembered Harry mentioning something similar after the Triwizard Tournament. She closed her eyes again and walked forward, opening her eyes, the world righted itself and she dashed forward, nervous that the obstacles had slowed her down.

Watching the exam from one of the towers, Snape saw Hermione make her way through the maze. He was pleased to proctor this exam— it was his favorite and the most exciting to watch. Because of his fame and no small amount of skill, Harry Potter was always touted to be the most brilliant DADA student, but Snape held Hermione's more subtle technique of evasion in higher esteem.

Two wizards followed in behind and Hermione cast a disillusionment spell on herself. Initially she evaded them easily, until she came upon the creatures placed in her path. She cast all spells under her breath, so her location could not easily be discerned. When she knew her magic could be viewed by those nearby, she ran ahead.

When she saw the fairy eggs, she gathered them in anticipation of a bowtruckle ambush. She later stupefied an enormous troll. Laughing to herself, she wondered if it was the same troll from her first year. There were a surprising number of plants, roots and flowers on the way. Hermione was careful not to breathe when passing some of them as some fragrances were poisonous or had sedative properties. She was tempted to choose some plants and herbs to take with her for her own stores, as so many were valuable for potion making, and made a mental note of each in case she needed to brew anything during the exercise.

Snape watched carefully as she approached the next obstacle, an easy one if one knew what to look for—unfortunately, more than a fair number of students became paralyzed in fear because of it and consequently failed or accomplished the task with a significantly decrease in the amount of exam time remaining. Hermione tread softly. She hadn't seen any obstacles in a while and was more wary because of the suspicious absence of danger. She turned the corner and saw Severus crying out in pain, bloody and dying on the beautiful carpet of grass beneath him.

Snape gasped from where he stood as he saw Hermione's worst fear— that he would die. He saw the look of horror and disbelief cross her face, and then her hesitation. Boggarts were cruel to those whose fears were so gruesome, one could not make light of them. _Come on, Hermione…_

Tears sprang to her eyes immediately, but it made no sense— she had just seen him last night, and he was here in broad daylight, during a test… '_It's a boggart!',_ she thought but then couldn't find anything funny about it. The sight of his dead, mangled body, and ash white skin stole every bit of breath she had. She closed her eyes and thought really hard about Neville's attempt to rid himself of the boggart in their third year, and that outrageous hat. "Riddikulus," but no sound came out. Her wand hand was trembling. "_Riddikulus!" _she shouted with better aim.

But the dead Snape still bled, the blood pooling beneath him, large gashes apparent in his side and on his face. She had to get rid of it—she couldn't permit the judges to see… they would ask questions. "Riddikulus!" she shouted at him and the blood became ketchup. The boggart Snape stuck in a finger and licked it, making a look of loathing. She laughed at it, wondering if Severus had a strong preference one way or the other. She ran quickly, worrying about the footfalls behind her and wanting to outrun the boggart who might follow as she didn't have a trunk or wardrobe to put him in.

_Bravo, Hermione. _Snape mentally applauded her courage in overcoming her fear, and then noticed her approaching enemy. Capps was an Auror, and a good one. He had seen him before during the NEWTS (that man never pulled punches) he was always close behind Hermione throughout the exercise, the other tracker on the opposite side of the maze.

Capps snuck up on her, just around the corner. She couldn't hear him, but she could feel the hair stand on the back of her neck. She threw a rock at the far wall and ran in the opposite direction. She was nearing the end of the maze, she could see the exit from here. Tempted to make a run for it, she channeled some patience and suppressed the urge to take the quick and easy way. The nearness of her goal gave an illusion of safety, so close now…but it was too good to be true. Casting another disillusionment charm on herself, she flattened her back against the wall as her skin trickled with the magic that made her blend in with the concrete. She cast another quick spell and watched as her cloaked figure approached the finish line.

The judges at the maze's exit smiled at the student, and just as her toe crossed, two wizards behind her sent twin stunners flying to her back. The stunners sailed through her duplicate form, not at all a real person. Hermione swiftly stepped away from the hedge and stunned both pursuers from behind, knocking them flat to the ground and then used a Body Bind to make sure they were secure. She casually crossed the finish line, entirely unharmed.

She smiled at her captives and whispered, "Finite incantatem." Their bonds were removed. They were so sure they had caught their prey, and yet pleased that the clever witch before them had passed her NEWT.

One of the judges, Examiner Madeline Keynes, stepped forward and said, "Most students don't get past the mirror. If you had to work through the rest of the maze and were running out of time what would you have done to shorten it?"

Hermione thought about her answer. "Well, there were a number of plants at my disposal. It would've been easy to brew something on short notice. Either some bomb to cloud the vision of those pursuing me or I could make a flammable fertilizer…"

"Did you say flammable fertilizer?" One of her hunters asked.

"Yes. I could set the hedge on fire, walk through and then activate the inert components in the ground with water to regrow the hedge behind me."

Several judges looked skeptical. _As if she would make something up._ Hermione looked behind her and cocked her head to one side. Quickly she clipped a piece of quick growing Devil's Snare and walked away quickly from the annoyed plant. With a flick of her wand she dried it out and crushed it with a rock she found on the ground. She pulled a piece of nettle from a nearby flowerbed (there were flaming nettle and other flammable plants throughout the hedge). She mixed it with the Devils' Snare powder and threw it at the hedge with her simultaneous incantation, "Incendio!" The bushes burst into a tall flame producing smoke and a large gaping hole through the dense hedge. Using her wand like a hose, she extinguished the fire and the re-hydrated Devil's Snare grew like an invasive weed, angrily filling in the vacant space in seconds.

It was clever, but she didn't find it that impressive. However, the judges were taken aback at her display. It took her all of forty seconds to put together.

"Well done! Well done, Miss Granger," Examiner Darley said, clearly pleased. "You finished the maze in eighteen minutes, twenty seconds one of the shortest times on record."

Hermione couldn't help but beam at the praise. She had clearly avoided many traps. There was only an hour to finish the maze and she had finished in less than half the time. She wasn't the only one proud of her efforts at that moment. Professor Snape had the bird's eye view from the tower. From there he could see every swish and flick, every defensive position. He noticed how she paid attention to the plants she was tempted to pick for herself and how she walked harmlessly past flowers that could have knocked her unconscious had she breathed even shallowly in passing. He couldn't repress a satisfied smile in seeing her prepare the flammable fertilizer from only two ingredients. _Yes, indeed._ _That is Hermione Granger, ladies and gentlemen._ _If only she hadn't strolled across the finish line, she could have beaten my own time._

He watched as Hermione shook the judges' hands. She was handling it all in a very dignified manner, where other of her classmates had jumped up and down, or were so injured from their test that they were incapable of jumping without a trip to see Madame Pompfrey.

Hermione left the maze to enter the school. Snape noted with some personal sadness that Hermione wasn't smiling at all, and seemed to be trudging through her day. Remus had mentioned her stellar performance on her Charms practical, but made special note of her blank expression. She had not acknowledged a single student and took no initiative to converse with others before her final. He thought it odd. Hermione was more sociable than most, and her jitters were usually obvious before exams despite her exhaustive preparation. Today she didn't seem jittery at all, just empty. Snape didn't think much of it until he saw her blank expression with his own eyes. She looked like she hadn't rested and she appeared sad.

Pansy knew precisely when Hermione would finish her NEWTS because Ginny had blabbed. And McGonagall had been the one to provide Ginny with said information.

Just as Hermione left her last final she felt a small wave of relief wash over her in being done. Really done. She felt kind of a queasy happiness. And in that same moment she felt a pang of sadness that she no longer needed to be here. Her departure was scheduled as soon as she could find her damn cat. The cloak she wore over her casual clothing was the only sign that she was still a student. When she made to remove her clasp, it felt warm to the touch and she looked at it closely.

_ROR- Now! P _

Hermione walked briskly through the front halls until her feet found the changing staircases and ran the rest of the way to the fifth floor.

"SURPRISE!"

All of the SOS plus Melanie and Kendra were there to greet her and congratulate her on finishing. Hermione didn't have time to sort through her emotions at the shock of seeing everyone there before most of them accosted her, hugging and patting her on the back, exclamations of how happy they were to see her, questions shouted out about where she'd been.

"Hermione! We're so glad you're back…"

"Can't believe you finished your NEWTS already…"

"Is it true? Are you done?"

She and Pansy presented them each with potions made of their blood, which made several of the girls more than moved at the results of their struggle. It made Hermione glad to see all of them getting along so well, conversing easily with each other. Ginny and Pansy said they had acclimated well after January. She knew in seeing the group, their sisterhood would last and last.

"Hermione? Can you come over here for a sec?" Orla asked.

Hermione obliged and sat on a small couch in a small seating arrangement in the corner. She almost couldn't recognize the frail form of Kendra, a girl she only remembered seeing completely the year before, and at the Death Eater hideout, only in the dark.

"I-I just wanted to say thank you." Her voice was meek and timid, having found it only recently. She felt uncomfortable in the crowd and Hermione could tell she wanted to leave.

Hermione's throat tightened, but offered her a genuine smile. For a moment, she found herself unable to say anything. "Your welcome. You deserve a happy and safe life, Kendra." She handed her the vial of potion made from hers, Pansy's and Ginny's blood.

"What's this?" She asked, holding up her pale vial of murky opal liquid.

"Healing potion, special. Made just for you." Hermione made her voice softer purposefully, less abrasive. Kendra appeared to shrink back with loud noises and raised voices. "It's terribly potent so use it sparingly. It will very likely heal you even if you are on the brink of death…"

Kendra nodded. She surprised Hermione immediately by taking a small sip.

Hermione's mouth fell open as color filled in Kendra's sallow complexion. She sat up straighter and taller, removing her hands from around her middle. She thought she had crossed her arms defensively, but apparently she had been in pain.

Orla, Pansy and Melanie gasped in astonishment. "Kendra… are you okay?" Pansy asked.

Tears escaped Hermione's eyes and several other members smiled through their joy in seeing the fruits of their sacrifice made plain before them. Hermione couldn't find a single regret in that moment about any decision she had made since last summer.

Kendra offered a genuine smile and nodded. She had kept her pain to herself. She was too shy to ask for help and Madame Pomfrey had done all she could for her. Hermione refrained from hugging her. She resolved to keep in touch with her and check on her recovery. Pansy said that she had lost her mother, and that her father was found dead shortly after her return.

Pansy hooked an arm around Hermione's neck, "She plans to stay with an aunt. She's nice. I've met her once. She'll be well cared for."

"And where will you stay?" Hermione asked.

"I was actually going to see if I could stay with you at your new flat," Pansy said with a grin. "But Melanie's cousin is asking several of us to stay with her at her home in Luxembourg. It's Unplottable and we'll be well hidden."

"What about Draco?"

"He's not too happy, and he planned to ask you also…" Hermione looked shocked at the suggestion. They'd kill each other.

Pansy continued, "But relax, he is staying here at Hogwarts. It's the safest place for him until we find a way to undo the tether."

"The _what_?" Hermione had never heard of this.

"Tether. There is an implant of some sort in his father that binds their blood so Lucius can locate Draco anywhere."

"Holy mairde! He can do that?"

"That's how Dumbledore figured he found Draco at the bar," Pansy explained. "Now we just have to figure out when we can remove it."

_Oh crap. The club._ Hermione felt guilty for looking at her watch. She could only stay for fifteen minutes before the party made her late for the rearranged practice with the band. "I'm sorry…"

"But you've gotta go? It's okay. You have a job already?" Pansy raised an eyebrow.

"Kind of."

"What— no bartending?"

Hermione laughed. "No bartending. But when you graduate I may recommend Monica Bruce for a show."

"You're singing?"

"Shhh. At Rue Nineteen in two hours." Hermione's voice dropped to a hush, and then wondered why she was so embarrassed. Perhaps it was because she didn't have some flashy magical job waiting for her somewhere. "I have to run. Thanks for all this. You didn't have to."

"Yes I did. We did. They missed you. You better write me." Pansy hugged her tightly.

Hermione quickly said her goodbyes, seeking out Harry and Ron before she left. Surprisingly they were right outside the Room of Requirement.

"Leaving so soon?" Harry asked.

"Are you mad?" She winced. They hadn't spoken in two weeks and she knew he found out.

"Noo. I think you're nutty in the head, but I'm not mad." Harry shrugged. Ginny had long since beaten some sense into him.

"You're running off so quick, 'Mione?" Ron asked, tugging at her sleeve.

"Sorry, guys. But I wish I had time to find Crookshanks," she moaned. Hermione stamped her foot and looked up and down the hall, as if the ginger fiend would leap out from any nearby shadow.

Harry pulled out his Marauder's Map and gave Hermione his best, most devilish grin.

Thanks to Harry, Ron, and the map, Hermione had managed to coax Crooks out of a corner on the third floor. He seemed to like his new darker home amongst the rows of armor. His eyes looked almost sinister in the darker light, but when he leapt into her arms he became her precocious familiar again, even though they still had some catching up to do.

As she made to leave, Harry sulked audibly. He shuffled his feet almost as loudly as Ron usually did when he was upset. Both of them had huge non-verbal cues. Harry would be leaving for the Dursley's in a few days. "I'm going to miss you, you know?" Harry groaned.

Hermione sighed and turned around to address her rather defeated looking friend. "Harry… It's not like we're not going to see each other this summer. Pretty soon I'm going to get my own car, and I can apparate…"

Harry's face lit up.

"If you think I'm going to leave you rotting on Privet Drive both then you're barmy!" Hermione grinned madly as she mock-scolded him.

Ron smiled at them both as Harry grinned a huge smile. Harry was saved. This summer would be different—he finally wouldn't be left out. He wouldn't be alone.

Crooks seemed a bit angry when Hermione had to leave for her first gig. Though when she returned from Rue Nineteen, he forgave her after she fed him. At least she remembered to pick up cat food on the way home, otherwise she would've had to leave…_again_, further increasing her cat's skepticism on her reliability as his guardian. At night, Crooks had sniffed and re-sniffed every square inch of the apartment, walls included. On the third pass at two in the morning, Hermione realized he was looking for a place to sleep. He was never a snuggler while she slept (probably for safety reasons in case she rolled on him), but he did prefer to sleep near her and there was no room on the couch. She still wasn't sleeping in her grandmother's bed, though currently she would argue that the divan was more comfortable…a blatant lie.

Hermione stumbled into her kitchen and pulled out the comfortable disposable house of many a cat— a plain brown paper bag. Hermione crawled back into her space and Crooks followed. Only a little shuffling could be heard until his soft purring came. It was a long exciting day, and finally sleep claimed her.

Snape had missed her yesterday evening, and hoped to see her before the evening meal if she planned to stay. He crossed Pansy Parkinson's path later that afternoon— Pansy said Hermione disappeared after her Arithmancy test. She met only briefly with the SOS, saying her goodbyes more quickly than she would have liked. Apparently she had found a job, though Pansy had declined to elaborate.

Snape felt kind of hurt that she hadn't mentioned it to him. She had wanted to work in the field of potions and wondered now that her time was free, where her aspirations would lead her. The least he could do was wish her well. Soon, she would be an Order member. He figured he could talk with her then.

-------------------

It was early Saturday morning at 12 Grimmauld Place after a meeting to decide on new Order membership. Only Snape, McGonagall, Remus, Moody and Tonks remained.

"Are you sure we have to do this? It always seems like such an intrusion. We know her. She's not the enemy for Circe's sake!" Tonks said, and felt full well she knew Hermione's habits enough after tracking her for months, seeing where she lived, people she met, fleeing from Death Eaters. She felt like Hermione's privacy had been trod on enough.

"It's strange to hear you, an AUROR, say that," Moody hissed, his glass eye swiveling in all directions.

Remus felt he knew Hermione well enough, but no one of his age could deny that they had been fooled enough times by seemingly trustworthy people to be dearly sorry for their blind faith. He had been fooled into thinking that his lifelong friend, Sirius, was a traitor for thirteen years— and all of this masterminded by none other than his other childhood companion— Secret-keeper for Lily and James, the traitor, Peter Pettigrew. The rat had not been the only turncoat in their circle.

"It's Order policy for good reason and you know it," Remus said to Tonks, almost unkindly. 

"I have some business this morning, but I can come back this afternoon to monitor her movements," Tonks said apologetically.

"I can take the afternoon but not tomorrow," Remus said to the young witch. "Can you take Sunday instead?" he asked, his voice softer now.

"Sure."

"I'll sit Sunday afternoon to sunrise," Moody offered, getting up from his chair. Moody preferred evening watch. He was always more suspicious of activities after dark. Most members could scarcely tolerate his paranoia, though Dumbledore seemed to find him amusing.

Lupin, McGonagall and Snape sat in front of the mirror. Promptly at 8:00 a.m. the large mirror showed a sleepy girl in a long cotton nightgown take her hot tea into the bathroom. Dumbledore had already been to her flat, charmed all of her clothes and mirrors to permit this specifically timed exercise. 48 hours to go.

This was the necessary ritual— the measure to ensure that every member was trustworthy. Even though it seemed to some an extreme measure for someone so well known to the group, it was preferable to blindly risking some of the war's most precious secrets, the strategies of the Order of the Phoenix. Harry, Ron, Ginny and the twins had always attempted to listen in, but they had no concept of what went on really in the grand scheme of things. They protected much, and it was worth any extra steps they might take, even though it might be construed as an invasion of privacy. Once one pledged themselves to the Order, one gave up such luxuries.

Snape sat with Minerva and Remus, wishing that the DADA professor would take his leave, but to Snape's chagrin Remus stayed, chatting amiably with Minerva about school and other unrelated matters. All three of them had spent their fair share of time watching the everyday activities of prospective members, screening their daily lives for anything unusual or out of the ordinary. Snape was finding himself a little apprehensive about Remus' presence there, though he didn't really know why at first until Hermione got out of bed… couch. _Couch? _

Hermione pulled herself together and took a cup of hot tea into the bathroom. She drew a shower, as hot as she could stand it.

"Why is she sleeping on the couch?" Minerva asked.

"Maybe she had company over," Remus suggested.

"Certainly not!" Snape blurted out, then recovered, qualifying his earlier statement. "She just moved in, surely she doesn't have a guest already." Minerva gave him an impish look, and Snape grew horrified that she'd say something. At this rate he'd be giving himself away.

Remus smirked. Snape had claimed earlier that he hadn't made judgments bout her. And completely missed the mark.

Crookshanks exited his home from the paper bag and stretched his long, ginger, feline body.

"Thank Merlin, that, that…_ thing_ is out of the school," Minerva said.

"Minerva, I thought you loved cats, given your particular feline inclinations," Remus jibbed.

The elder witch gave him a sour expression, but would not stoop so low as to cruelly bring up his own animalistic tendencies. "That cat is half-kneazle and a bloody menace. He has been in my office no less than four times, going after mice I had reserved for transfiguration classes."

"Are you certain they wouldn't be better off being eaten than tortured by the atrocious fumbling attempts at transfiguration by your less-promising students?" Snape offered glibly with a half-smile, half-sneer.

Remus laughed, thinking of mice running toward the cat and away from the students. The mirror changed viewpoints from time to time, showing a different angle of the apartment but always showing the subject.

"Albus sure got her good. Charmed her flat and every article of clothing," Minerva observed.

Hermione stretched and yawned loudly. Her cotton nightgown was lightweight, almost see-through with tiny detailed pleats down the front. Snape was beginning to feel a little unsettled, seeing her again this way, on one side of a mirror, unable to touch her or speak with her. At least she was safe, and they knew where she was. Hermione turned to face one of the mirrors she'd hung and scratched her head. Remus laughed and Snape scowled at him.

"Her hair enormous in the morning! Gods, gargantuan!" He chuckled a little more and Minerva laughed too, acknowledging that it was indeed funny.

Minerva shot a sly look to Snape. She knew why he was here, even though he wouldn't admit it.

Snape caught Minerva's glance and looked back at Hermione, his mouth upturning in a corner. Her wildly untamed hair was a somewhat endearing quality about her, something uniquely her… beautiful. No doubt she had been teased about it in school like his own lank locks. Yet when she touched him, she ran her hands through it appreciating it like any other part of him. It made him feel whole to have her look at him with such wonder and acceptance. He wondered what she thought of his nose—he always thought it was too big for his face. As a child, Snape was never vain, but being preoccupied with appearance was something he grew into with age. He couldn't help becoming obsessed with it as much as everyone called attention to such things. He made a point of wearing fine clothes, a way of overcompensating for his other deficiencies. It seemed funny that it was quite possible that Hermione didn't see anything wrong with his appearance at all.

She padded into the bathroom and began her morning ablutions, brushing her teeth and again the three of them were chatting away while nothing of importance seemed to be happening. Hermione walked into her room, hesitating before touching the bed. She turned away from it, blinking her eyes several times. All three spied the enormous bed. Snape swallowed— he knew exactly why she hadn't slept there. It was too big. He felt the same way about his own bed as it took him an hour longer to get to sleep every night as opposed to his usual short drop.

In a fluid motion, Hermione pulled her gown straight over her head and flung it on the bed. She was naked but for her knickers, and soon she bent over and pulled those to the floor as well, tossing them in a laundry basket. Snape's teeth clenched, forgetting in so many times that they did this that they saw _every_ detail of a person's life… dinners, friends, trips to the loo, nasty habits… showers. He really wanted Remus to leave, but it would look suspicious if he asked him to go.

It irked him even more, when instead of looking down, Remus was looking more intently than ever at Hermione's lithe form.

"Minerva, do you see that?"

Hermione turned again, and the mirror switched views. She reached into the shower to turn on the hot water, quickly fogging the room.

"See what, Remus?" She sat up looking at Remus and then scrutinizing the image before her.

"Oh, you can't see it anymore. She had a… blue thing. A tattoo maybe."

Snape shook his head. He had seen _all_ of Hermione and there was no tattoo.

"Where?" Minerva wondered. _Hermione doesn't seem the type to get a tattoo._

"Just below… well, just below her navel. I couldn't see it clearly."

"So obviously not the Dark Mark then, Remus," Snape said with disdain. Now with the whole hunt for the tattoo, there would be no taking his eyes of her. It was pointless to make a remark about her privacy, since they were so obviously intruding on it. Snape found himself wishing Remus to be struck with a case of mysterious blindness.

Hermione slipped in the shower and scrubbed her hair, taking her time to soap all of her body. Snape wondered if she really relished these ordinary things, since she had spent such a long while in the caves without them. Seeing her shower was some cruel torment to Snape. He had no time to relish how sexy she was because he was entirely preoccupied with Remus fanatical search for the non-existent tattoo.

After ten minutes she stepped out, drying herself off with a large towel. To Snape's dismay, she removed it from her body and wrapped her hair up in it, leaving her body naked.

"She keeps turning."

"I still can't see it, Remus. The mirror is fogged," Minerva said, eyes darting every so often to Snape. She knew he was not amused.

_'Cover yourself, woman!,' _thought Snape. _Beautiful, beautiful woman…_

Soon enough, Hermione took her hair down, opened the door and used the towel to wipe down the mirror.

_Damn it. Still naked._ Snape was starting to feel a little warm.

She rummaged for a brush and brushed out her hair behind her, grateful that Sleekeasy's permitted the brush to actually comb through it. She reached for her hairdryer and the diffuser attached to it. It worked better than a drying charm, which for some reason caused her hair to frizz. It took at least ten minutes for her to dry her hair and with the door open and the hairdryer blowing the fog in the mirror began to evaporate.

"Here we go," Remus said. "There it is!" he pointed.

Hermione turned off her hairdryer and looked for the first time at her reflection in the long mirror. She turned away to dress and then spun back around in shock. "Oh shit!" She peered close to the mirror and bent down, trying to examine the blue circle on her lower abdomen.

"You're just now noticing it?" Remus asked the mirror incredulously.

She couldn't see it very well, and began rummaging around in a drawer. "Where is it?" She muttered to herself. "Ah..." She pulled a hand held mirror and angled it toward her abdomen so she could take a closer look.

"Well bugger all!" Hermione hissed, looking at it from all angles. The small blue pentacle was visible clear as day to both Hermione and her three observers. Then she started to snicker, and she snickered until it became a chuckle, until it emerged as a great big belly laugh. "This is just the spell that wouldn't end!"

Minerva and Remus laughed also, but Snape did not. He was still puzzled as to when that happened, and allowed a small smile to creep across his face as she walked to her dresser, still naked, searching for a spare bit of parchment. She scribbled out a note to Pansy and retrieved her owl. He was a beautiful brown barn owl, and Katie had assured her, a brother of Buckwheat. She hoped that his legendary stealth and intelligence was hereditary. Hermione walked to her window…

"You're still naked, Hermione," Remus called out between cupped hands, echoing Snape's own thoughts.

As if she heard him, Hermione stopped halfway and looked down, embarrassed. At least the drapes were closed. She dropped the owl back on his stand and rifled through her drawer again. She hastily slipped on her solid French cut underwear (quite a change from the lacy thong she wore when he last saw her, Snape noted) and an attractive, non-matching, push-up bra.

She emerged from her closet wearing a pair of camel colored slacks and a delicate button-down blouse with cap sleeves and threw a light jacket over. Then she changed her mind. She took her wand and shrank the matching jacket, slipping it into the pocket of her summer cloak.

"Here we go Jack, take this to Pansy Parkinson. She's probably still at Hogwarts. Off you go."

After locking her window, she tried to finish her tea, but it was cold so she discarded it in the sink. When she walked into her office and closed the door, the mirror showed the den only and did not follow Hermione inside.

"Why can't we see past that door?" Snape asked aloud.

"Albus said she sealed that room specifically. Peculiar really— she didn't say why. Oh, here she comes," Minerva said.

Hermione emerged carrying a stylish leather bag, which she slung over her shoulder. They watched her lock and ward the apartment and disapparate from the alley outside. Minerva explained to Remus and Snape how the place had been secured, and Snape noted with amusement the runes on the front doorframe when she left.

Hermione apparated from the shadowy passageway beside her apartment to the uneven cobblestones in Diagon Alley. Her Muggle clothing was covered by a light cloak. The Muggleborn witch disappeared quickly from the public street into the more limited crowd at Flourish and Blotts, thankfully only one of two people were perusing the selection of books and not at all interested in the new patron who had entered. Snape felt a lump begin to form somewhere in his throat.

Remus was now on the edge of his seat hoping to catch a glimpse of what he had missed when he had escorted a cautious Hermione to the same location. He felt a little guilty in possibly seeing something she didn't want him to know, and she had sworn him to secrecy as to even the whereabouts of her trip. And his fellow peers _had most definitely _asked him where they'd been. It had been a difficult question to dodge. For the life of him he couldn't hazard a guess as to why Flourish and Blotts would need to be kept secret for any reason, or why Hermione would continue to be involved in anything that needed to be kept that secret. He had only seen a lace cuff through the door that morning, and now he finally took a long look at the very attractive woman attached to it.

Katie Renou walked through the aisles from the back, arms outstretched to greet Hermione.

"Hi Katie," Hermione said smiling walking into Katie's embrace.

"Come on back. You have lots of mail…"

"Good, because I _need_ the work."

Hermione followed her to the rear of the establishment and into Katie's office. The mirror flickered when Hermione crossed the heavy wards guarding Katie Renou's office. She sat in the comfortable feather tufted chair that decorated her eclectic office influenced by English antiques and a collection of artwork and calligraphy she had collected over her travels.

Remus quirked an eyebrow— _work?_

Snape wondered if quite a bit was about to be given away here, and became uncomfortable. Katie would be outraged if any client's privacy was compromised, and uncertainty began to wash over Snape with the realization that his own secrets were likely about to be divulged. He was a little disappointed when the mirror didn't stop working when she crossed the threshold of Katie's office.

"Would you care for some tea?" Katie asked.

"Yes, please."

"How did it go?" Katie asked plainly giving Hermione a hopeful smile, but feeling like she already knew the answer by her solemn expression.

Hermione smiled again, but she didn't want to. She took a deep breath and sighed. "Jury's still out."

_Oh dear_. Katie shook her head. "That well, huh? I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

Hermione shook her head, and Snape felt relieved yet also curious as to her feelings. _Jury's still out. She would wait for him like she said? Of course he should take her at her word. Why should he doubt her? But had only been two weeks._

"I wondered, because… he sent something for you."

Hermione looked shocked. "He did? _Why?_" Her voice seemed so angry, Katie was almost startled by it.

"Don't be surprised, it _was_ business related."

Hermione's demeanor changed dramatically, her mouth falling open. "Really?"

"Maybe you should address this first, before you attend to the offers. Let me allow you some time." Katie handed her the scroll Snape had sent the previous day and Hermione's hand shook a little. Katie closed the door and left Hermione alone.

Hermione eyes closed as she ran her fingers over the wax seal. Snape wondered if Remus noticed that it was his. The three of them were utterly silent, watching her every move with suspicion. This was a side of Hermione none of them had ever seen before and so all were intent on her mysterious visit. Snape waited with anticipation, fascinated he could witness her reaction to something he sent, and hoped that she didn't hate him for not telling her personally.

She broke the seal and read, his spidery script on the page was blurring.

_Dear Artist—_

_I apologize for not discussing this with you earlier. I find myself in your deep debt over your contribution to the book. In the beginning, I had no idea that the calligraphy would be such an important addition. The book is doing so well, in fact selling out other texts of the same genre, that I feel no small measure of guilt in failing to share some of the earnings with you. _

_Therefore, this morning five percent of the proceeds of the book will be transferred to your account at Gringotts._

_Do not refuse it—you deserve it. Best of luck in your future endeavors, if they are anything like what you have attempted in the past, you will undoubtedly succeed._

_Yours truly, SS_

Her glassy eyes closed tightly, her heart beating so rapidly that she clutched the letter to her chest, catching her breath. Her face flushed hot and she pressed her hands to her face to cool it. _Yours truly.__ Severus wasn't a man to throw words around lightly._

Severus remained perfectly still, though his heart rate likely matched Hermione's own beat for beat. It pained him to see her expression, unsure of her feelings merely based on a few tears.

They could not see the contents of her letter, though from Katie's discussion with her, Minerva could discern that it was from Severus. From the look on her face, she wondered what he had told her, and hoped somewhere in her heart that love would prevail in this instance. _Damn the rules, and damn this stupid war, sucking everything that was good from everyone around her._

Remus and Minerva seemed taken aback at her nearly silent weeping, It was brief, and Hermione stopped several times… gathering herself to meet with Katie. Her grief was private and she was tired of letting it get to her.

Snape knew such an offer might be shocking— '_And when she sees the sum in her account she'll be shocked alright_,' he thought. He imagined her tears had nothing to do with his offer and more to do with how they parted and how he still hadn't spoken to her, not really, like she deserved. He had written the same letter nine different ways before sending it. Better not to mix their unusual situation with their business relationship. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he was trying to compensate her in some way for what he could not give her emotionally.

She conjured a handkerchief and touched up her face, unaware of how much time had transpired. Apparently, it was long enough that Katie had tentatively knocked on the door to check on her.

"Come in," Hermione said as clearly as she could, but she couldn't prevent the nasality coming through.

"Shocked?"

"He told you?"

Katie smiled and sat in the chair beside Hermione, adjusting her full skirt as she sat, clasping her hands and dropping them in her lap. "He sent a note. He's right you know. You _do_ deserve it."

"I don't know what to say, I mean I know the book was doing well, but I-I had no idea."

"It's my job to give you some idea. Take a look at this," she said, retrieving a sales log from her neat desk. Turning to page she had marked, she handed the register over to Hermione. "Here."

Her fingers skimmed the entries. "What am I looking for?" she asked.

"Line thirty three."

Hermione's mouth hung open, her hand flew up to cover her astonishment. She spoke through her fingers. "Oh my God. Is that a projection?"

"No," Katie said with a grin. "That's total sales for the book since January." She paused. "Mind you, that's profits from Flourish and Blotts _only_, and likely a fraction of what he has earned."

Remus had been silently calculating since the mysterious references to a 'him' began. He was reasonably confident he could work it out, but when Katie said 'book' Remus' head turned sharply to face the man on his left.

Snape couldn't help but feel a certain amount of satisfaction in seeing Hermione begin to comprehend exactly how great five percent could be, and was so captivated by her facial expressions and her conversation with Katie that he was completely unaware of the two peers scrutinizing him.

"She's your calligrapher?" Minerva asked in astonishment.

"That's not what I was going to bring up," Remus growled.

Snape finally sprang to attention and shut his eyes, clenching his jaw. _Damn it._ "Remus, I would really prefer you hold your tongue. As you can imagine, I hardly wanted _you_ to remain here for this extensive study of Hermione's daily habits."

Remus and Snape had their terse moments, but Remus did not exactly hold onto as much past bitterness as Snape did. He wouldn't consider holding something like this over his head, though he was sure that's what Snape was expecting from him. Remus wasn't one to judge people, but if he had not known of Hermione's feelings and the cruelty of the spell, his protectiveness would have won out and Snape would be a hex ridden lump on the floor. He took a deep breath, his mind still reeling from the age difference, why she left, and Snape's status as a spy. "I'm just… surprised is all. It's a lot to… think about."

"Indeed." Snape ignored Minerva and turned back to the mirror. "And the calligraphy issue should not ever be mentioned to anyone. Ever. Katie is terribly secretive about keeping the identity of the clients and the artisans confidential, even from each other. I had no idea Hermione penned the book until last week."

"She is incredibly talented," Minerva said in awe of her work on the manuscript.

"At a number of things," Snape mused.

Remus coughed uncomfortably.

"Bloody hell! Get your mind out of the gutter! I meant other than academically, like her musical talents for example."

Katie held up a box full of requests and shook it.

"Those are?" Hermione reached out for the box.

"All requests for _your _calligraphy. It is now suddenly en vogue to commission traditional work. Not that you need the money anymore…" Katie said, her voice rising at the end as if asking a question.

"Even if I don't need the money, I need something to occupy my time or I'll go mad." Hermione set the box in front of her and ran her fingers through her hair.

"He'll come around."

Hermione looked up with a snort that said, _'Don't be so sure.'_

"I'll leave this with you then. I've already taken liberty to change identifiers and handwriting on the requests, so no more worries about that." Hermione laughed. "If you'll pardon me for prying, even if he wasn't… receptive to a relationship you really don't seem like the kind of woman who would give up so easily," Katie observed, yet also hinting and giving Hermione a meaningful look through narrowed eyes.

Hermione's face fell a bit, the sorrow renewed. "I um… I didn't exactly offer him an opportunity to respond to my declaration, and he did try to talk with me but..." Hermione sighed heavily and stared off in the distance, yet somehow looking through the unseen mirror and straight into Severus' eyes. "Now, I'm sorry interrupted him. I wonder what he would've said. Exploring things further really isn't possible right now due to other… complications. But you are right," Hermione said with her mouth upturned to a growing smile. "I'm _not_ a woman who gives up easily. And if he knows anything about me, he knows _that_." The tone of her voice changed at the end of her statement suggesting a very determined woman indeed would be sure and hook her man. _He wasn't getting away that easily._

Snape's soul stirred at that comment. _She won't give up on me… _He had never expected such devotion from another, certainly not any he could trust But Snape didn't know what he could do about it, except the most painful truth… they would have to wait. A relationship would only be possible if they survived the war. _And at this rate, who knew when that would happen?_ Minerva chanced a glance at the hopeful man, and though she didn't articulate it, she was hopeful for him too.

"So what are you going to do?" Katie asked conspiratorially.

Hermione sighed. "For now, I'll have to wait."

"I know you love him, but don't put your life on hold forever, Hermione."

"He's _worth_ waiting for Katie. And besides," Hermione pulled out a stack of papers from the box. "I have plenty of other things to keep me busy."

Katei winked at her. "I sorted them. The top stack is requests for party invitations, weddings, and letters. There are three requests for books, you'll want to take a look at those. And, as it was impossible to conceal the identity of the client on the last job, you have a rather large request from the Ministry."

Hermione bolted upright in her seat. "You're joking!"

Katie sat in front of Hermione and grasped her hands between them, lowering her voice, her eyes widening. "I'm serious. It's a _big_ project, Hermione. And a lucrative one. They wanted to know your identity…"

"And you laughed in their face."

"And I laughed in their face," Katie affirmed with a chuckle.

Hermione pulled out the offer, which came in the form of an enormous, extravagant scroll. "Good grief! How long would I have to finish this? A year?"

"Can you imagine the possibilities?"

Hermione scanned the document as Katie continued to explain. "See? They aren't even asking for traditional work. You could use magic."

Hermione's mouth went wide and then formed an 'oh' of exclamation. She could feel a hardness form in the pit of her stomach making her sick. "Oh Katie… this could be so dangerous. I'm not so sure I'd want this kind of responsibility." Hermione worried her lower lip. "I would need a lot of time to think about it."

"They want to pay you for the finished seal _and_ if they use it in the entryway then they will pay you an extra fee," Katie said.

Hermione's eyes went wide, her wheels turning. A seal, embedded in the floor of the Ministry of Magic. Every witch or wizard tried there, every Ministry of Magic employee would walk across it… The possibilities in that were too good to pass up. She couldn't do this alone and knew she would need help. She laughed. _It was outrageous._ Hermione imagined all of the SOS performing a spell in the middle of the MOM. _Hysterical._

"Fudge would have a cow if he knew it was me."

Katie snickered. "I know you told me that you would never work for the Ministry, but this is just…" she searched for the words.

"Too good of an opportunity to pass up," Hermione said, and almost jumped out of her seat, her hand flying to cover her open mouth.

"Have ideas already?" Katie asked with a grin.

Hermione grinned until her cheeks hurt, eyes flashing brightly. "Oh Katie— it's going to take me _so_ long to formulate a proper response." Hermione cracked her knuckles dramatically, grabbing a piece of paper and a quill from Katie's desk, beginning to jot down some ideas.

"Take your time, focus on the other offers first," Katie lectured like a mother.

Hermione did take her time. She sipped tea and sorted through other offers, calculating money and time to determine what would be most helpful and easiest to handle while she considered the Ministry offer. She drafted responses for five offers, declining others due to time constraints or deadlines that would pass too soon. Four were for parties or weddings and the last was the smallest book offering, but the most sentimental— a book of poetry for a fiftieth wedding anniversary allowing her to take as many artistic liberties as she wished in penning it. By early afternoon, Buckwheat had delivered the correspondence and already returned with three of the five replies from her eager clients, along with their deposits. Slowly Hermione rose from her chair, and took a long slow stretch and a yawn.

Katie returned as she had several times to check on her progress. "All done then?"

"Looks like." Hermione shrunk the Ministry request. "I think you better keep this locked up somewhere ultra-private."

Katie plucked the scroll from her grasp, waved her off and rolled her eyes. "Tut, tut. I _am_ the Mistress of Secrecy, darling."

Buckwheat punctuated her comment with his own hoot of agreement.

"I need to drop by Gringotts and Mr. Lemmings and swing back home before work tonight."

"Work? No bartending I hope," Katie said innocently, sipping her tea.

Hermione swatted her arm playfully as she left her office with a full knapsack. Hermione turned around and stuck her head back in the doorway, holding onto the doorjamb. "Thank you, Katie. Really. I'm not sure I said that before. You really helped me keep it together out there," Hermione confessed with a sparkle in her eye.

"You're welcome, dear. My pleasure."

"That's interesting," Remus said aloud.

"I don't want to hear it," said a preoccupied Snape.

"Not _that_, she's doing a job for the Ministry. And it's big."

"Remus, you heard Severus. Her work with this woman is secret. We need to let her come to us with this matter. At the very least Hermione should consider going to Severus with this matter, since he is aware of her occupation."

"She should _tell _the Order," Remus said firmly.

"You know how this works, Remus. This is an _observation _period, not a time where we show up in her life and tell her how to live it. She is quite capable of making her own decisions, and we know next to nothing about the Ministry's request. We don't even know whether or not she'll take it," Minerva said in defense of her former student.

"You know she'll take it, Minerva," Snape interjected. "She loves a challenge. They asked her to create a seal for the MOM, with or without magic. How tempting it that? Did you see her face light up? She's already working out her plan."

Remus and Minerva knew that as well as Snape did. Snape just hoped she would come to him as Minerva had suggested, and wondered what ideas Hermione was cooking in that brilliant mind of hers.

Hermione went straight away to see Mr. Lemmings in the back of Eeylops Owl Emporium. Hermione and the store clerk chatted amiably, and he expressed relief on her safe return to the wizarding world. His polite but concerned inquiry about her health reminded her that her disappearance had been publicized. She was hoping most passers-by would have forgotten her, or at least find the news dwindling in importance. Snape watched as she ordered a list of standard calligraphers' ingredients in greater quantities than most. Remembering vaguely how familiar she and the vendor had been last summer, and then how she hung around Schrivenshaft's front window in Hogsmeade, he wondered why, as a seasoned spy, he did not notice the clues identifying her as his calligrapher.

Snape leaned forward in his chair as Hermione made a deposit and checked her balance at Gringotts. Hermione nearly _lost_ her balance and a few shades of color when the Head Goblin showed her a slip of paper with the contents of her vault. The goblin showed no reaction to her shock and she left after thanking him. The goblin smirked at her misplaced gratitude.

Thankfully, she thought, the Goblins at Gringotts were discreet enough to allow the transactions from his account to hers to remain a secret. She knew Severus was aware of the same. She checked her watch, picked up a sandwich and ate it quickly at her flat while scribbling ideas for the Ministry project between bites. Jack returned from Hogwarts with Pansy's reply, leaving her contemplating their bond and Pansy's concerns about loyalties of certain other SOS members. Hermione's teeth clenched and became angry during certain passages.

_'…Ginny and I were thinking—because we are all bonded through our experience (and the tattoo I suppose could be a link of sorts) maybe we can't deliberately betray each other, since we're sisters. And even though you may not think that the members of the SOS would ever betray each other, that doesn't mean they wouldn't consider the aims and objectives of Lord Voldemort. Some of our sisters may not want themselves on the chopping block, and may not agree with some of his methods, but that doesn't mean they don't agree with the fundamental ideals behind his movement…'_

Hermione broke out in a cold sweat and sat, dumbfounded, on the couch.

_'…I have concerns about Daphne and Tracey. I won't go into the reasons why now. Let's just say I overheard some disturbing things, 'Mudblood' and 'filth' was thrown around in conversation. I was so angry Hermione. To hear them speak, I mean— how could you ever think about your **sister** that way? I have no doubt of our bond and affinity for one another. If our bond of friendship and sisterhood weren't true on some level, we wouldn't have been able to heal you. I just don't know how they get past their prejudices to form friendships and then can suspend those positive experiences to continue to believe such warped logic about pureblooded superiority…'_

"What's wrong with her?" Remus asked. "She so pale."

Minerva's and Snape's own faces drew taut with concern at how disturbed Hermione looked. Her emotions roiled under the surface of her skin.

Shaking with righteous anger, Hermione didn't know whether to punch something or cry. _Her sisters… supporters of Voldemort_. She took a few deep breaths and paced around the room, shaking her head and chewing her lower lip. She snatched up the letter again and reread it.

_'…Maybe the tattoo isn't such a bad thing, Hermione. It will be a daily reminder of our magical bond and what we went through (Did I say daily? Well, in your case a bi-weekly one— How on earth could you not notice?) Every time I see it, I don't think of Draco as much as I think of that spell, and all of our meetings, and of Kendra and Melanie. There could still be hope for Daphne, I'm just saying be wary of blinding trusting your sisters with other information…'_

She tossed it on her dresser and threw herself on her grandmother's bed, worriedly rubbing her face.

Snape stood out of his seat. "There it is… you can see the reflection of it in the dresser mirror." He walked up to the looking glass and stooped to peer at the tiny writing, at least the parts that were legible.

"Really? What does it say?" Minerva asked.

Snape summarized what parts of the letter he could read, astonished at the forethought that the Pansy, Ginny and Hermione had put into evaluating the beliefs of their peers. They didn't make the common mistake in holding the loyalty for friends synonymous with shared ideals. Those were mistakes that everyone on this side of the mirror had made.

Minerva stiffened at how detached Snape was when relating the suspicions about Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis. But perhaps nothing surprised him anymore.

She let out a short laugh. "We're as bad as they are," she thought aloud.

"I'm sorry, you are going to have to be more specific, Minerva," Snape said dryly.

"Students think we teach and do almost nothing else but teach. They think we don't understand what's happening in the larger world, not contemplating all of the details and nuances of the politics of war. They think that our lives are uncomplicated because they only see us in the classroom. But we're guilty of the same thing. We were all sitting around yesterday weren't we, Remus? We were wondering what job Hermione was going to get… if she would go to a Muggle University, glad she got her own flat, relieved that the spell was over so she could have some peace right? And look at all she's preoccupied with! This is a day, just one day in the life of Hermione Granger."

She spent two hours in the sealed room with Katie's orders where three observers were no longer able to see her, emerging with a package wrapped in a purplish paper Snape recognized as work for a client. She sent it out with Jack before grabbing a large tote and her purse. Instead of apparating she walked, and the three professors wondered where she was heading next if she had told Katie earlier that she had 'work' to do.

Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Hermione trotted down the street, waving to the man at the flower stand by her flat. They were already acquainted and he set up his booth close to show times. Snape barely registered her whereabouts as she slipped in through the double doors of Rue Nineteen, which at first glance looked rather non-descript during the day. But who could mistake the manager Tom Phelps for anyone else with that finely wrapped Cuban hanging from his lips? Not that Snape smoked, and he was sure Hermione didn't appreciate it as he did, but Mr. Phelps had fine taste in cigars.

"That's the place Hermione sang last year," Remus said to Minerva.

Snape smirked. Gryffindors were always so blunt.

"This is an outrage! One of the finest students ever to grace our school is working in a club," Minerva said.

"It's not our fault, Minerva. What were we supposed to do? We didn't even have time to market her skills properly to any contacts we have." Remus groaned. He was already feeling they had failed her.

Snape snorted. Hermione didn't want just any job, she wanted to learn.

Remus continued, "…She wasn't supposed to graduate for a year and most people assume she's still in school. The Ministry would've been throwing themselves at her, but now…" He laughed. The whole women's movement at the school hadn't helped her image much. Few people knew the whole story but Fudge knew enough to veto any hire slip with her name on it.

The pair droned on about the wasted talents of Hermione (with Minerva terrified that she was again bartending as she had joked with Albus), and Snape watched the scene unfold in the mirror as Hermione set down her bag on one of the empty tables by the band.

"Yo! Hermione!" A man called out.

The band half-cheered and clapped, elbowing Hermione appreciatively as she walked by.

They had a great time last night. They played well. Hermione had finished her NEWTS and filled with that feeling of accomplishment and completion, she sang her heart out. She felt really free. Everyone did. They cut up carried on and laughed with the crowd. Friday night, the band (and Hermione) faltered in the middle of a song, and the conductor stopped them dramatically, yelling "CUT! CUT! SHUDDUP!" Everyone laughed, patrons included, and they started the piece over, better than before.

"Wooo!! Way to go!"

Hermione blushed. The clapping yanked Remus and Minerva out of their ranting and they paused to see what the commotion was about.

"Thanks you guys," Hermione said saddling up to the edge of the platform and leaning her fanny against it. She reached into her bag and pulled out a stack of music and a three-ring binder. She stuck a red marking pencil in her hair. The murmuring continued, joking about last night's events, the smaller conversations blending and getting louder as people competed to be heard. Finally Stevens silenced them with a loud whistling between two fingers.

"HEY! Shuddup. Let's get this started, ladies. From the second page of _No Ordinary Love_."

Hermione flipped quickly to the spot, but mentally knew what stanza and entry he was speaking of before looking.

"One and two and…" the conductor mouthed and Hermione came in, sang a few bars and stopped as the conductor cut her off.

_"Wider than Victorian lace… Ta-ller than th…"_

Stevens made the cut sign and started again. And again.

They repeated this five or six times until he was satisfied, Snape becoming more irritated each time he interrupted her beautiful voice. But, Hermione didn't seemed bothered by it at all. When Steven gave her direction, she took out her little red pencil and made markings where he wanted words clipped, stressed, or softened and each time her cadence sounded a touch different, giving each phrase a lift.

They changed around, skipping different styles of music.

_"…surely you want it back… Is it a…"_

A high whistle cut her off mid-verse. The band never tired, though the three eavesdroppers were exhausted just watching the two hour practice.

"From the top please." Stevens raised his baton and began the tune.

_"We can only turn into… one.  
__And I won't ever be too  
__Far away to feel you  
__And I won't hesitate at all…_

_Whenever you call…"_

"Next, please… next, next, people." He clinked his baton against the stand ceasing unnecessary chatter. "From the second stanza…"

_"I am thinkin' of you  
__In my sleepless solitude tonight  
__If it's wrong to love you  
__Then my heart just won't let me be right  
__Cause You're just so far, __like__ a distant star I'm wishing on tonight…_

_I'd give my all to have  
__just__ one more night with you  
__I risk my life to feel  
__You body next to mine_

_Cause I can't go on  
__Living in the memory of our song  
__I'd give my all,  
__for__ your love  
__tonight__…_

_Baby can you feel me…'_

"Cut, cut cut… Beautiful. Next piece, _Lush Life_."

Halfway through, Stevens raised his voice, "Let's do something sexy."

"Sexy, hmmm?" Hermione raised an eyebrow and sorted through her music quickly as the pianist groaned.

_Yet another last minute piece._He was good, but hated it when Steven pulled this shit.

"This will knock your socks off." Hermione stood up straight and relaxed her neck. _Now I'm no Lagaylia, but this is sexy as hell._ Hermione dropped her voice into her lower register, and she had been practicing. She thought about performing a charm to make her voice lower just so she wouldn't strain it so, but it was a method of last resort.

The pianist was happy because the tune was simple. He couldn't understand what was so special about it yet until Hermione opened her mouth to vocalize the seductive moans of the opening stanza. She enunciated every word, each consonant flowing together in a continuous swell. Her lips pressed together as if in a kiss or sweet memory as each beautiful line left her lips. She sang out to the crowd, but the song was also for her… alone, like she had been for the last months.

_"Ooooo…. Aaah. Oooaah… Slip away… _

_Stuck inside this lonely place...  
__Wondering if I'm ever gonna see your face…  
__it__ can bring you down...  
__while__ this world goes round.  
__Time is still inside my room…  
__You know it's not too late, can't be too soon—  
__To be lost and found… to be up and down…  
  
__And oh…__ I gonna wrap my arms around you  
__Won't let you slip away, can't let you slip away form me  
__And oh…__ I'm gonna let my charms astound you…  
__Won't let you slip away can't let you slip away from me._

_I thought that love was here to stay…  
__Didn't realize I was led astray…  
__Thought the world was mine, never look behind.  
__I never though that spring would turn to fall  
__Oooh__… now I see the writing on the wall…  
__Now I'm feeling fine, just to pass the time…"_

Pretty soon Stevens incorporated violins and other instruments to fill out the sound, never over shadowing Hermione's breathy, but confident seduction of every member of the band.

Snape shrank back a little at the melancholy lyrics. He was almost certain that most of them described their current predicament pretty well, and while he might have been flattered he was feeling the guilt and regret press on him.

So enthralled by the hypnotic sound of her voice he was unaware that the piece had ended, under Stevens whistled and the band cheered. The band loved new music and this was pretty good.

"Good work, ladies and gentlemen." The ad dispersed and Hermione slipped toward the rear of the theatre.

Snape didn't notice at first how her hands were trembling. Hermione leaned against the wall, and sighed into her hands, trying to dampen the sad emotions welling inside her. She shook her head. _You can't do this, you have to go on._

Stevens approached her from the left, "You know blues singers do some of their best work when they sing from a sad place. You were fabulous Friday night. Even in practices… wow."

Hermione snorted. "I'm glad you get some pleasure out of my suffering," she said dryly. She knew Stevens was trying to say something to cheer her up but it wasn't working.

Stevens shifted his feet around a bit. He was working up his nerve to ask her something, and Hermione caught on quickly.

"What is it John?" She glared at him and dared him to ask the question he was holding behind his teeth.

"I know Nick said that you wouldn't sing…"

"No!" Hermione stopped him cold right there. "I will not sing that song."

Such a dialogue perked the ears of the eavesdroppers, and Snape straightened stiffly, liking John Stevens less and less with each passing word.

"Why not?" he asked with a bit of bite. "People have been requesting it a lot."

"No. You cannot ask me to do this." Hermione set her jaw firmly and looked away from John as if the matter was settled, rummaging through her things to find something she didn't need, just to brush him off.

"I could make it a requirement."

Hermione spun on her heel, looking all the more imposing. "Or else what? You'll _fire_ me? You know, I haven't asked for much. I decline to sing one song and now that's all you want me to sing. I am not, repeat _not_, singing that bloody song." As if on cue, Mark the pianist began playing the very obvious intro to Everytime We Say Goodbye.

John rolled his eyes, as his pianist's timing was off. This was not the way to persuade her.

Hermione's eyes narrowed further, and resisted the urge to stab a finger into his chest. "John, I've been through a lot recently and that is just too painful for me. I understand your wife left you recently. How would you like for him to play Every Time You Go Away?"

He made a sour expression, and then gritted his teeth. "I see your point. Sorry, I asked." He slipped out and left her to prepare.

_Damn right. Bugger off_.

As Snape watched her get ready for the performance, he could only consider himself a very, very lucky man. Hermione was all woman. Anyone seeing her under these circumstances and out of the assigned role she had as student at Hogwarts could instantly recognize it in how she carried herself. People at Hogwarts, including her peers Harry, Ron, and the Weasleys hadn't really acknowledged this side of her at all. Last May at Rue Nineteen, they were awed by her performance but thought it was a studious act from a girl who always primly followed rules and made sacrifices for the cause. The room full of Gryffindors couldn't have been more proud. At that time Snape had been impressed with her talents, but still felt that she was a young slip of a girl with something to prove. The know-it-all once again showing off her plumes.

Hermione carried herself with dignified grace, head held high even when people weren't watching her.

Hermione slipped in the back and changed out of her slacks into an almost sheer black dress. It was sleeveless, plunging low in the front and back revealing ample cleavage (thank God for charms), and the tiny, black cylindrical beads which studded in waves along the filmy fabric were the only things providing any modesty for her. She was grateful for the light dress with no sleeves. The lights and length of the performance made it unbearably hot up there.

She touched up her make-up and Remus noticed Snape's preoccupation with the figure in the mirror. Hermione was a beautiful young woman and no one had noticed, not even Snape— until Hermione brought matters to his attention. Today, Remus noticed his change in posture, his facial expressions, his whole change in attitude when he looked at her. But Snape would never speak of her with either of them. Remus dared not to mention it.

They watched silently as she sang through several songs and found her rhythm.

Snape hissed as the tissue beneath the tattoo of his left arm burned him deeply, almost to the bone.

"Severus!" Minerva whispered as she turned to address her colleague. He always hid and display of pain well, do to have him cry out in present company really worried her.

_Voldemort must be angry_, Snape thought, dreading his visit with his false Master. The last time he had been so fiercely summoned was after he had failed to kill Harry after the TriWizard Tournament.

Minerva looked up at him with a worried expression. "Go on then, be careful." She always said what was repetitive in the extreme. _Go, don't let Voldemort kill you. Come back alive_. Minerva always said that to him when she knew he was being called. He tried to hide it from her, but if she was ever in his company, she always seemed to know. Since his return to work for the light, Minerva had extended an almost uncomfortable amount of compassion his way, but she meant well by it.

Minerva knew his role was important, but she could never get used to seeing him leave. She had been an especially strict to him when he was her pupil, but then she was angry at Severus' dabbling into darker magic. She always wondered how he could do so well in DADA and not in Transfiguration. That is, of course, where he picked up his snappish criticism 'foolish wand waving' from. He dared to sarcastically dismiss Professor McGonagall when he didn't make a superior grade on a transfigurations test. She gave him a week's detention. It was one test, and Snape did admirably after that, even though his thoughts were always preoccupied with simmering cauldrons. She tried to hide a fond look toward Severus. Any sympathy she showed him was misinterpreted as pity. Minerva saw him pause in leaving to a summons for the first time, and knew then without a doubt how he cared for Hermione. She desperately wanted happiness for him. He had known so little of that.

Rather than leave immediately, he endured the pain as best he could, hesitating a moment, chancing one more look at Hermione. She finished the last note of her song and thanked the crowd. Something came across her face that seemed disturbing to him, almost sad, and Hermione approached the mike.

"I was told… that I could um, make a dedication. So, wherever you are love— be safe, be well—this one is for you." She sucked in a deep breath audible on the microphone and her high, clear voice happily sailed through the notes, in her stomach held a bubble of emotion. Her eyes twinkled and her cheeks rose to her eyelashes as she sang.

_"From the very first time I rest my eyes on you boy, my heart said follow through,  
__but I know now that I'm way down on your line, but the wait is feeling's fine…  
__So don't treat me like a puppet on a string, 'cause I know how to do my thing….  
__Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb, darlin'…  
__I wanna now when you're gonna come…see…  
  
__I don't wanna wait in vain for you love…"_

Snape felt filled with her song, and rather than feel vulnerable about stirring his emotions prior to his pressing meeting he felt her instill him with some sort of protection as Gaia stirred, aware of the blessing. It was the first time he had been reminded of Gaia's presence in his being since before Hermione's return.

He wanted to stay desperately, and listen to her sing for him, one last time. _Gods, please let this not be the last time._ Snape stood up and left in a flurry of black fabric, his cloak whipping behind urgent footsteps leading him to the park across from Grimmauld Place. He shoved all of the feelings welling inside him behind the wall only an Occlumens of his caliber could erect and apparated to the Dark Lord's side.

Immediately, he dropped to one knee. "My Lord."

"My dear _servant_," Voldemort hissed with contempt, emphasizing the faithful word that did not describe his tardiness. "Such a long time it takes for you to come to my side."

"You have my deepest apologies, my Lord. How may I be of service?" Snape could feel the air crackle with the Dark Lord hostility. His master's words were laced with a quiet contempt and venom that left the forest as cold as a den of Dementors. Snape's wand in the hook of his sleeve, seven inches from his fingertips felt like seven feet where facing the Dark Lord was concerned.

"Of late, you seem unconcerned with how your services are best utilized. You supposedly have been in my service for twenty years, Severus. Just like Lucius over here." Lord Voldemort turned his head to the crumpled form of the elite wizard on the ground. Lucius clearly had seen better days.

Snape just stayed quiet and waited for instructions. Punishment from Voldemort was harsh, cruel, and in some cases barely survivable. But it was not, and never was swift. The Dark Lord liked to draw things out. Snape had no love left for his old friend Lucius, who had long since turned into a monster nothing like he remembered from childhood. Still, he had pity for the current condition of his peer. Snape had a sinking feeling that the form of Lucius was foreshadowing his own future. Seeing his blood on the grass and seared clothing, his cane sheathed wand by Voldemort's side told Snape things had gotten pretty ugly. Voldemort never took their wands. He always left them with a way to defend themselves, if they dared to try. Obviously things had progressed to a point where Lucius felt the need to use his wand; otherwise it would've never been taken from him. This was very bad. He had no idea what they had discussed, but he could hazard a guess.

Voldemort told Snape to stand up, and he did. He could tell however, by the glint in his reptilian eyes that conversation was over. "Crucio!" Punishment before explanation. "Crucio…crucio…crucio…"

As Snape slipped into unconsciousness, he detached himself from the pain and escaped to his mental sanctuary, the place where his mind and body were free from physical harm. It was another plane of existence, and one where he felt so blissful and at peace that he many times had found it hard to turn away from to face pain and the harsh reality of living. The torture he was enduring was always at the edges of his mind, the only hint that his dissociation wasn't real.

But his sanctuary was different this time, he brought her with him. Hermione was who most brought him peace. He was in his own bed, the silky sheets against his skin…soothing him. Snape gazed at the woman of his dreams. She looked so beautiful. He reached out to touch the figment, his thumb grazing across her lips, down her chin to her neck and collarbone. As his skin made contact with his vision, he was instantly reminded that it wasn't real. She wasn't real, not here. And he couldn't stay here if he ever wanted to be with her. Really be with her, protect her.

"Severus, are you finally awake?" A firm hand reached down to shake his shoulder.

Snape opened a bloody eye, blinking several times to focus on the shape before him.

"There you are. Now we begin again. Crucio."  
  
--------------------

Hermione woke up the next morning and stretched. She spent a large part of her day completing the addresses and invitations for two small dinner parties and sending them out to Katie via Buckwheat, who arrived to pick them up promptly at five in the evening. Once she had some time to herself, she thought on the Ministry project, actually it had occupied her thoughts most of the evening and the next morning.

She had jotted down a lot of ideas but they could all so badly backfire, she really needed a sounding board, and one who could keep her confidences. She drafted a small note to Severus, pausing before addressing it with his first name. She tore it up and started again:

_Dear S I need your advice and discretion on a matter. Can we meet in a day or so to discuss it?_

She signed it with her signature ambiagram, realizing she had never explained to him how she came up with the design. She sent Jack on his way to Hogwarts and hoped for the best. She hadn't expected to need to talk with him so soon, and hoped he wouldn't think her to be intrusive on his space. It really was important business, and hoped that he wouldn't read any ulterior motives into her letter. He was a Slytherin though, and they could be suspicious of anything.

It bugged her that she didn't know how he'd respond. If she sent a letter to Harry or Ron or Ginny, she could reasonably predict their responses. It bothered her that aside from guessing that he might claim to be annoyed, or inconvenienced, or flat out refuse her— she couldn't come up with any other possibilities. She worked on the poetry book, stopping every hour to stretch her arms and legs, catching a bit of lunch mid-day. The longer Jack was gone, the more preoccupied she was with his return.

Two days later, Jack sailed in the window, scroll attached to his foot. Hermione raced to his side and her feathered familiar let out a low hoot. Hermione couldn't believe it. He hadn't even opened it. Jack couldn't deliver it. Hermione almost screamed in outrage. How dare he not even accept mail from her? "Coward!" Hermione fumed, as she paced around her apartment. "I can't believe he didn't even open it… that is just really low…" she grumbled all the way around her apartment and down the stairs to get her mail.

Now that she was formally a Hogwarts graduate, Hermione immediately received her letter for induction into the Order. It was inconspicuous, a letter in her mailbox of all places. She didn't notice it at first, sorting through her mail like she always did. It was among a multitude of pieces of junk mail— three credit card applications, two bills and the invitation. At first glance it announced how she could have already won one of thousands of fabulous prizes. When she made to toss it into the garbage it flashed a brilliant array of colors— red, oranges, and gold. She threw it from her immediately, inspecting her hands and body for any sign of poisoning or curses. She looked at the envelope again. It hadn't exploded but resumed its previous disguise. After casting a few charms over it, she determined it likely was not a trap and tentatively touched it again. It transformed into a brilliant colorful invitation with a gold seal with a Phoenix imbedded in the wax. She broke the seal and opened it.

_Tonight 10:30pm._

And soon as she read it, it burst into flames and turned to a pile of ash. Then, the ash transformed into a piece of junk mail once more. Hermione reached again to pick it up, but it still captioned the empty promise of millions. She tossed it into the garbage, impressed with the invitation and anxiously awaiting her initiation into the Order of the Phoenix.

Hermione always wondered what an Order initiation would look like. She, Harry, Ron, and Ginny had all fantasized about it… what it would be like when they were finally old enough to see what went on behind the swinging kitchen door.

Oddly she found herself thinking less about the initiation rites and the excitement of being a part of the Order's war against Voldemort and more concerned with how she would interact with Severus when she walked in the door of 12 Grimmauld Place. They couldn't continue to ignore each other. After Ron and Harry found out about Severus, she wondered how many people knew, who Dumbledore had told. It was quite possible it would be discussed, especially if it was considered to be a risk to Severus in his role as spy. Her heart beat fast and she willed it to slow.

This is important. I can't believe I'm thinking about him at a time like this. All Hermione ever wanted to be was useful, and now with so much of her time spent thinking about him (Still!), she felt like her life was an utter waste. _Top of my class, passed all my NEWTS, still don't' know what the hell I'm doing. Hermione… you wanted a purpose…_

Hermione took a deep breath and opened the door. She reached the small steps too the shabby door and lifted the silver serpent door knocker to rap three times.

"Come in Hermione," McGonagall said with a small smile.

Hermione slipped past her former professor and saw Mrs. Weasley. She gave her hand a squeeze and ushered her into the kitchen without speaking.

Everyone was looking very somber and Hermione couldn't figure out why. Remus kept nervously glancing at his watch, prompting Hermione to look at her own. It was 10:28pm. Arthur and Kingsley Shacklebolt were speaking in hushed tones in the corner. Tonks, who was usually the bubbly bright one, was mysteriously silent.

Hermione leaned her head toward McGonagall. "What? What's wrong?" she asked in a whisper.

McGonagall's kips formed a firm worried line before she spoke. Before she could say anything, Dumbledore presence filled the room. His face was long and serious, though he seemed to make an effort to be cheerful upon seeing Hermione.

Hermione was waiting for Severus to walk in behind him but Mrs. Weasley warded the door shut.

"Ah, Hermione. I'm glad you could join us. I'm afraid it will just be all of us today," he said wearily to the group.

Everyone shuffled uncomfortably and sat around the elongated kitchen table which had been enlarged to accommodate everyone. This was Hermione's first meeting so she didn't really know what was troubling everyone else so much.

Albus cleared his throat, "I now call the Order of the Phoenix in session. I have the pleasure of introducing one of Hogwarts most recent graduates, Hermione Jane Granger. Will the person who petitioned for her admittance into the Order please make themselves known?"

Professor McGonagall stood. "I did, Albus."

"And why did you make such a recommendation?" he asked.

"Hermione is a dedicated and talented young woman. She has shown everyone over the years how creative and loyal she can be to her friends and to the larger community. She has served the Order well in the past, initiating magical protection for the school and extending help to her classmates and at the risk of her own life, though I believe not foolishly so."

"Who supports Minerva's sponsorship of Hermione Jane Granger?"

"I second," came from Arthur, Molly, Remus and Tonks.

"Hermione, please step forward." Hermione pushed herself from the table and walked toward Dumbledore. Dumbledore took her hands in his, and Hermione permitted him to look deep into her eyes. "Order membership is not a light burden to bear. I know you take your responsibilities seriously so I want you to listen to what I have to say very carefully. The Order business is secret. The Order business is not always legal. The Order comes before family, before friends, before money, before things, before self. The Order is about more than its members. The sole purpose of the Order is to achieve the end of the tyranny of Voldemort and all who follow him. Hermione Jane Granger, do you accept this responsibility?" The gravity in Dumbledore's voice rumbled in room.

"I do." Hermione said unblinking, not losing Dumbledore's gaze for one moment.

Being a witch or wizard and swearing to such statements was a very serious matter. It was, in essence a magically binding contract.

With the DA, one such as Marietta Edgecombe could survive boils. Hermione was pretty sure with Dumbledore at the helm of the Order that she's die a thousand slow deaths in the pit of hell before she ever betrayed a secret or shirked her duty.

"Raise your wand please, Hermione."

She raised her new wand in the air, feeling a bit nervous, but trying to put on a noble and serious face.

"Touch your wand tip to your head, heart, wrists, abdomen and feet after you say each of the following statements… 'I swear to protect with my life the secrets of the Order…"

Hermione tapped and responded, "I swear to protect with my life the secrets of the Order."

"I swear to come to the aid of all the _world_ when called by the Order…" Dumbledore said.

_The world— God._ She breathed through her mouth. "I swear to come to the aid of all the world when called by the Order…" _Head, hearts, wrists, abdomen, feet._ Hermione felt the binding magic wrap around her, a chill down her neck to her toes… pulsing through her, sealing the spell, ensuring her commitment.

"I will not abandon my post. I will share my home. My property, my money if needed…" he continued.

"I will not abandon my post. I will share my home. My property, my money if needed," she echoed, tapping her body again in the proper sequence. She said the words and felt the magnitude of what she was promising shock her to the bone. Hermione Granger always believed there were limits. According to the oath she just took there were no limits on sacrifice.

She felt a thrill run through her, realizing what everyone in this room had pledged. Dumbledore waved his wand over her and muttered a few words. It was like a truth binding spell, she felt the magic bind her body to everyone else in the room as the magic wove through her.

Now Dumbledore was no madman, but what Hermione quickly realized is that for over twenty years most all of the people around this table and more had sworn the same oath, offered the same resources to uphold and fight for all that was good. She looked around at all of the wizards and witches who were living a modest life. _Perhaps the Weasleys weren't poor, but in fact lived a meager life to support the Order? Maybe they offered their home to Harry and her out of obligation as well as out of love?_

As much as Hermione wondered about what sacrifices had been made, friend and family lost, she could look into every one of the members' eyes and see sincerity there, and kinship. Like the SOS. And when she walked in she felt like an alien, an outsider. _Was the intense feeling of belonging like magic? Did everyone feel this way? Did Severus? Did he feel it, the connection of her membership wherever he was?_

She hadn't realized that she had been standing there in awe for some time. The other members didn't seem to mind, and found her silence not at all unusual. Dumbledore gave her a warm smile. He hugged her tightly.

"Fellow Order members, I present our newest inductee." Everyone clapped and stood to greet and offer their congratulations.

Members dispersed quickly, leaving Dumbledore and the Weasleys. McGonagall stayed behind too.

Minerva leaned over and whispers in her ear, "He wanted to be here." She seems visibly worried that Snape was not present.

"Don't worry about it," Hermione sighed, not wanting to think about why he didn't show, but after the oath she just took she did begin to worry. Surely he wouldn't miss an initiation just to avoid her.

Minerva placed a hand on her shoulder to get her more careful attention. "Hermione, Severus had _never _missed a meeting. Not ever."

She had hoped, at the Order meeting to see him… and yet she had dreaded it also, worrying about an indifferent stare and apparent rejection, like their evening together meant less than nothing. Now, wondering about his safety she would give anything for a stare, even a cold one if it meant he would be okay.

"That's why everyone was so quiet then," Hermione's trembling voice concluded.

Hermione's heart leapt with a pang of worry. One more evening at the side of the Dark Lord, bowing in mock servitude, hiding his loyalties in a secret place along with so many other secrets that would swiftly earn him a death sentence.

"How long as he been gone?" she dared ask.

Minerva looked at her with watery eyes and whispered, "Too long Hermione."

"Oh my, God." Hermione blinked repeatedly, shaking her head, unaware she had spoken out loud. Minerva squeezed her shoulder and pulled her into a hug, but Hermione turned away. They were still in earshot of others, and Hermione was too private of a person to make a public display of worry.

After leaving Grimmauld Place, Hermione leaned against a tree in the nearby park before disapparating. She shut her eyes, and said a small selfish prayer, hoping somewhere that Severus was safe, and coming home.

****

**Author's Notes:**

Once again, thank you thank you so much for your reviews and kind words and patience. I did however see my first flame because I waited only 6 weeks to update, someone thought I abandoned the fic. Geez y'all 35,000 words is a lot to proofread and refine. But I also just got pregnant in the last 6 weeks (wink) so now you know what kept me! Hooray!

I say it again, y'all are so awesome! Thanks to all of you who have stayed with me through the whole thing, prodding me along!

Anna- Of course I KNOW, I'm ME. (Said in best impression of Don Ameche, ever seen Trading Places? If not, never mind). I am only a little cruel, so I will leave you with a teaser:

And so Snape's torture continued until he awoke, half-healed but weary. He was sitting on a cot in a white room, and knew this setting was the last place any Death Eater wanted to be. Most captives never returned from this room, certainly no Death Eater turned spy. Snape realized that his wand was still with him, partly because Lord Voldemort found it amusing, and partly because he probably had not the strength or the audacity to fire back at his punisher. At the same moment he realized he had his wand, he also realized he was not alone in the room.

As a defensive reaction, he jerked himself upright from the bed, staring into the cold reptilian gaze of Voldemort and a rather smug looking Lucius Malfoy.

_Oh Bugger._

"How is it that a Mudblood can command powerful magic from a wand such as _yours_?"

_How about that!!!_

Shabopo- Hey! Thanks for the review, hope you are doing well. Things are pretty exciting at our house right about now.

Duck- Thank you thank you, I hope no brain damage has befallen you! And the Burden of Sight is temporarily on hold (ever since I caught The Twenty's plot bunny) and will likely resume after Dec.

The Perfectionist- Thanks, I hope you like it. I have already written the ending. I just have to get the middle thing.

Fanfiction Fan- Oh yeah. The next chapter will likely be much shorter. Hopefully soon soon.

Gin- I am unhappy at your review placing me in the third person. I am right here. Never left. In six weeks I have caught up on all my reading at ashwinder and wrote this chapter, intending to end it in one, but there were too many details. As for the Burden of Sight, I was intending to end it earlier than it's current length, however readers asked me to continue and now I'm trying to write 'THE WAR'. Ohmygod, I have no idea how to do that, so it will likely have to wait until after the holidays as I have a huge quilt project due Christmas. And I hand quilt. Eek!

Nilwethein- Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

Tabii- I'm here in Houston. Typing, pecking, typing…

crs- Sad face. I haven't forgotten. I must have really tormented you guys with my frequent posting previously. It is much harder to wrap up a fic neatly and (cry) put it to bed than it is to begin it. Thank you for your review.

Qr8fizz- Thank you for your review. And yep, she did leave Hogwarts, take her NEWTS and not tell anyone until Snape spilled the beans. Even Pansy doesn't know yet. Likely only one more chapter and an epilogue. Voldemort doesn't think anything is impossible for him. Very resilient SOB. Thank you for your review. More soon.

Jade 121- Thank you for reading and reviewing! Here it is!

Lady Belaqua- Thank you so much for your review, I assure you that your review does not go lost amongst others. I value your feedback and thank you for the time spent to send me your thoughts.

asdf-As you wish.

J Deann- Ohh…. Sorry. Updating now. Thank you for your prodding! J

cayla- Here you go!

Whizbees- I'm sorry you were sick, hope you are better bow that I've given something for you to read

Meriadoc/ Celithathein- Thank you. (Blushes)

N- Thanks tons!

DeepWaterAngel- I thank you, but alas do not have the energy for a sequel. If I did, it would revolve around the war, and the seal that Hermione is undertaking for the ministry, as well as the relationship between Draco and his father, and how Draco would find his role in the world. I nearly put him sharing a flat with Pansy and Hermione, but I just couldn't plausibly work it in. Hermione wanted space, but she can be guilted into things I think. Ah well. Too late. One more chapter. Tahnk you for offering your fic to extend. Unfortunately, as you can tell, I'm struggling with finishing my own or risk flogging by the masses.

Juniper- I hope you've been able to finish reading by now. I haven't had problems seeing it all on fanfic. I was posting on ashwinder and then I lost the info on how to format my text for uploading to their website, so I think I only have the first 5 chapters on that one. 

Lyress- Thank you for hanging on and giving your support and feedback. I liked the Krum part too. At first he wasn't there and then I added him. I figure, anyone could be pulled into the DE madness, especially out of family honor or obligation. I like the different characters. We must see Draco, Goyle and Krum making their own decisions choosing their own paths. Even Ron comes to some sort of understanding with Hermione. I promise and update sooner that 6 weeks for this last one!

DustofAPhoenix- Thank you Fire, for your kind review. Many times I have been Hermione in the bar pouring shots, and unfortunately have never been in Snape's shoes. I never in my life thought I'd do something like this and it's just… cool! It's nice to have a way to expel and shape that creative energy. Good luck with your fic, and when you post. Post one chap at a time so you can get feedback and correct as you go. I regret that with the previous fic, the Burden of Sight, I posted 15 or more chapters at once. Sigh. I can't wait to read your masterpiece!

BrooklynScott- Thank you. I think some on the best tension in creative writing is when characters are misinterpreted or misunderstood, or carry a secret. In short, I love angst.

Ephirel- Oh my gosh, I'm very flattered. I have lost so much sleep over finishing people's works in an evening. Going to bed at 4-4:30am, must get up in an hour and a half to get ready for work. Sorry I didn't go more into the Goddesses. I had intended to, and that is a weakness in my knowledge. Perhaps if I pick back through it, I can add some stuff. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

Franflutewitch- I'd love for him to propose too, but I think that thought might give him a heart attack. The war is on and he'll probably wait for things to gel before he moves on such a thing. Despite her love for him, he will probably still be mindful of her youth, and that niggling in the back of his mind that he's not good enough. Fran, I love you tons and will e-mail you soon before I post with the news above. Thank you for your encouaragement.

Joani- Thank you for reading and reviewing! Twice. wink 

Brook- Thank you for re-reading! I have too (just to get ideas on how to wrap this puppy up).

LynPiton- Thank you! Me too. GIRLS RULE!

Laicamiel- Thank you, and I can't imagine a plotting Dumbledore to try and get those two together unless he knows of some prophecy or something. I fall for Severus too, especially when he's unable to deny the warmer feelings which clash with his role, and force him to look at himself in a different way. Surprise, surprise, It's 9:23am here and I actually did get a good nights sleep!

Strawberry 22- Congratulations to your and your sister! And as for the goddesses, each couple has a pair. Hermione had a Gaia, and Snape has a Gaia. Ron still has a goddess, so does Melanie, and Harry, Millicent, Lisa, Terry and Neville. And your right about Kendra's wards n stuff. I forgot to write it in, but I expect the door was warded. No pureblooded wizard would ever guess of someone finding her through an air vent. 

Starlight Soul- Yay! Thank for your review. Interesting your should mention Minerva and Remus, since they sit with him during the review of Hermione's day.

Gina- Finally! Here you go.

That one chic- And I finally got around to the lemons, though I did have to cut a few lines that made me sweat too much for Thank you for your review. Hope you like this chapter as much as the last!

Fiona McKinnon- Yes ma'am.

DemonSorceress- Thank you and thank you for the blessings.

SweetSouthernBelle517- Thank you for the high praise. You keep me going. (Type, type…)

Wytil- Okay, Dumbledore did know Krum was a DE, and he is an Order member, though secretly. Dumbledore doesn't want Hermione to tell anyone because Krum's membership in DE and in the Order is very well hidden. Thank for your feedback! Hope you like the next chapter.

ahiwai- Thank you, I'm glad you like it! I can't wait to get our couple back together if Severus survives the big faceoff with V.

Ladyshoes- Thank you tons! The scene in the pentacle was the first plot bunny. Then I had to back way up and write it.

Jenn- Thank you Jenn! (Blushes furiously). I enjoyed writing it, and can't wiat to finish the fic. I promise this is not the end of the lemonade.

Heather- Still having problems with formatting for the chapters on ashwinder. Ugh. Oh my God, to duplicate it. Geez that's a lot of trees. I had no idea, it would ever be this long.

cayla22- Thank you for your review, and for your patience. I hope you find this chapter worth the wait.

Lillian-is-fickle- Thank you! Hope you kept reading!

Tycho- Thank you fro the review and thank you for your patience!

Amsev- Thank you! I tried hard to write good lemons after such a long wait. I've read so many good ones, it's a tall order. Hope you like the next chapter.

Shauna- Yay! I'm Dumbledore's biggest fan, but I don't think he's omnipotent. He just was appointed that status (like Harry, nice parallel when he defeated the big V when he was a baby). Dumbledore like Harry is a powerful wizard but just a regular man. Notice how a lot of them think him a bit crazy (like the Daily Prophet reports of Harry the summer after his fourth year). Pawn to Queen and Roman Holiday… you flatter me!

Kat77- Oh my gosh, don't ditch your boyfriend too much. I had to set limits on my fanfic reading so I could spend more time with my husband.

onesnowyowl- Thank you very much. I say if you've got it, flaunt it. I'm glad you have bog hair. I have big hips. They used to make me pretty self conscious, but my husband loves them! Girl power!

Wackoramaco87- Nah, you Capricorns aren't that bad at all! Thank you for your cheering. More between Hermione and Severus soon, I promise. One more chapter and a epilogue.

AtheneSaile- They will! Of course, I wouldn't leave you hanging.

Poetrychik- Glad not to disappoint! Hope you aren't upset at the lack of lemons in this chapter. More later!

Rose- Thank you so much for your review, I hope you review more often though. They are very helpful to writers, criticism included. Thank you for you feedback and I hope you enjoyed the next chapter.

artemisgirl- We will find a way, I assure you. wink 

Nightqueen- Thank you fro your eloquent review. You keep me going! Hope you like the next chapter! Not much farther to go….

June Williams- I swear I will send you one when it's done. Don't quite know how to work n a proposal, this isn't a Marriage Law Challenge. And there have been a million and one ways I've gotten revenge on Lucius. For example, Lucius comes up to the school and all of the SOS lock him in a room protected by goddesses, Hermione and Pansy go get Melanie from the infirmary to get her to heal by caning him as he had her. Cruel. Brutal. Couldn't write it. Wasn't plausible. I may still work Lucius in before I post or in the next chapter. It may not be punishment per se, but it will be humiliating.

Lately on the ride to work I've been proofreading or listening to music. I've found my creative process is better if I'm at home. On my lunch hour, I write more tamely because as a social worker I'm a bit more restrained in my thinking. Can't write when my heart and mind aren't free.

Rosmerta- Snape is does so dumbfounded that her feelings are real, he can't say anything snarky in his own defense. I love it. Thanks for your review.

jean jelly bean- Do I have kids? I could cry. Just found out I am pregnant two days ago! Yippee! I have loved writing the story and can't wait to write the next chapter and finish it.

missing the cat- Thank you, congrats on the new baby! Thank you for your review!

Beky- Not stopping the story! Hope you like the next chapter!

Miz- Poor Snape. Gotta love him. Dumbledore struggles with his own opinions. He loves Hermione like a daughter I'm sure. He saw her over eagerness as she wanted to use the timeturner her third year to take more classes. I'm sure he sees her as a mature young witch, but picturing her with a man like Severus probably threw him for a loop. Minerva will talk some sense into him.

Sam- Thank you so much for your review. I'm glad it was worth the wait. Here is another long chapter for you and the next I hope will follow shortly. As for the Burden of Sight, I'm finding it difficult to write the war and will likely pick it up after Christmas due to other obligations. More soon! Enjoy!

Anna York- Thank you, I'm so glad. Still working on it. I've had a lot of help from betas and especially advice from Keket Amunet and Shabopo.

archangel- Thank you for your patience. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.

Ak-Siren- Thanks. I can't imagine developing this into an original story because all of the characters would have to be so different. I'm glad I introduced some religious components, it made for some interesting developments and banter among readers. I will be sad when it ends too, but like Hermione and her NEWTS I will have an odd thrill of completion.

racheldiego- Thank you for sticking with me through the fic! I hope the last chapter lives up to your expectations!

Syco Callie—Haha LOL. Ah poor, Hermione. Love makes people blind. We need things spelled out for us. Thank you for noticing the subtleties of Krum's actions. They were intentional. Snape is much better as a spy. Snape asked pressing questions before he gave Veritaserum and then danced around the subject so he could deduce what he could while trying to figure a way to get her out.

Steph2bwld- Oh my god, maybe you should e-mail it to me in a single file… he hee! I swear I was kidding, I will give you happy ending. Make Severus beg? Severus does not beg. That would wreck me emotionally. I can't imagine Snape ever having to be in a pleading position again after serving the Dark Lord. But for once, he will be seeking her out… that's all I'm saying. You're pretty good at anticipating what Snape would say to Dumbledore. I don't think he'd ever tell him to shove off, but he does practically tell him to stop lecturing him. Thank you for your review and enthusiasm!

Stellarsnape- Thank you! And the loose ends are taking sooo long to wrap up. Ah well, one more chapter to help that happen.

XxPhenixX- Thank you once again for all of your help with the Latin. I'm still planning to go through the fic again and re-edit and reload. Lucius is such a slime, I love repelling him. Thanks for the feedback on Minerva and Albus, I like them both too. Minerva strikes me as someone who can keep him in line. Yes, of course we will see more of Harry and Ron. They are Hermione's family as much as anyone. The tattoo is a blue pentacle. What a last laugh for the spell. Thank you for liking the singing and bartending. I know it's kinda cheesy, but I like it.

MxSRose- Thank you for your review. I'm glad the last chapter was worth the wait! Here is a little more angst. More soon, almost done now!

HazyDayClearNight- Lucius has such a high creep factor so me. He's like a stranger in a deserted alleyway that you're afraid to pass. Thank you for the props. Here's the next installment!

Pandora Nervosa- Snape is in denial because he's done so much wrong he feels he can not possibly repay for his past transgressions. Everything in life has been denied him in childhood, that's why he was so jealous of James. Ah and as for everyone's reaction, you only get a few. Hope Harry's is what you're looking for.

Maria- Thank you! Will it be a musical?

Otakuannie- I hope there is a Danny in your life. I was always attracted to people like him. Good luck with school!

SimplyScribbling- Thank you for acknowledging that. It would cheapen the work to just throw them together at the end in a very implausible way. I hope you enjoy the morning after. Both are hurting, and can bear to create another opportunity for a painful parting or rejection. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing throughout the fic, One more chapter until our story is concluded!

Kylara- Thank you for your review, I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I'll be cautious with the lemons and will hopefully post the rest on ashwinder once I figure out the formatting.

Sognatrice- "She's going to bloody well get herself murdered to death." That was supposed to be a joke. Like when Dan Ackroyd said "They'll give us one hundred years in the electric chair…" in Sneakers. Ha. L Maybe it wasn't that funny. Thanks for your review!

Athea Grey- You are dead on at that. Hermione's had time to process her feelings and Snape's just getting started. I like Ron's character. There's so much more to him. Let's write some more and clear this mess up shall we?

Maria- Thank you, I'm glad your liked our Sister!

Cinnamon- Thank you so much for your review and you're right about Severus. He would rather be tortured than be vulnerable. I think he's been rejected quite a bit in his life. People learn to stop reaching out when they've been hurt, like when he reaches for his wand and gets burned by the goddess. I have to give total credit for the dropping of the glass and the leftover shards to Keket Amunet (genius!). I love all of Rowling's characters. They are each wonderful in their own right. She develops them just right and then somehow, they become our friends and family. Draco's growing up, but still not trustworthy enough yet. He is still choosing. It will be a huge risk indeed if Dumbledore decides to extend and invite into the Order after he graduates. No more independent study for Hermione, and what now indeed! More soon!

Ezmerelda - Thank you for your review, And alas, I cannot post at ashwinder because I have lost the way to format my Microsoft Word to be uploadable. Thank you for sticking with me through this whole thing! It means a lot.

Min Hee- Aww. I'm sorry. I hope you get your man/woman… desire. Soon. Thanks for the complement Slytherins do rock, unfortunately I was always too prim and proper to be placed in that house. More soon! Thanks for your review!

Severesa- Thank you I agree. Only a little more to go! Thanks for R&R.

heartnut- Wow, not explicit? Thanks. Hey to you and your dad! Hey and if your dad writes a review, do you think he could label it 'heartnut's dad'? Grin. Thank you thank you! Hope you read the first review above, there is a teaser for the next chapter in there! No pressure, just very busy! Thank you for hanging on!

wood-n-snape- Thank you so much for your review! I try to keep you captivated, though I hope you won't be disappointed with so many people not knowing about Seversu and Hermione. Perhaps more will find out. When you say you laughed and cried, that makes me so happy! If you can experience that rabge of emotion when reading, then that means I did a good job! More soon!

Dragonmaster Kurai- Thank you, and it is ending soon. One more chapter. Thank you for reading!

Saturngurl123- Thank you for reading. Our couple is parted again…. Ah we will have to wiat until next time.

Zephyre- Thank you for joining in. I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for the review.


	25. Can't Hide Love

Disclaimer: It's not mine. There are five books in hardback on my desk right now staring at me without my name on it. I waved my wand but they still all say 'Rowling'.

This is it! The end! Thanks for your patience and the long wait. Many thanks to all reviewers and betas, especially: Klingon Mistress, June Williams, Luna Writer, MA Long, Katherine Tomblin, Keket Amunet, Lori Drout, heartnut, Shannon, Shabopo, and XxphoenixX.

**Chapter 25: Can't Hide Love**

And so Snape's torture continued until he awoke, half-rested and weary.

Snape's arms and legs felt tight and contracted, either from lying too long in one position, or from his grotesque posture— his instinctive inclination to curl up in ball to protect his soft, fleshy middle from attacks was responsible for his present condition... that and a lengthy bout of Crucio. He had been hexed before, and badly. Once Poppy had worked on him for two months before he recovered. Snape suspected that tonight _(what day was it anyway?)_ was likely his dying day. From his sensitivity and reactions to his surroundings, he didn't like his chances.

Lying on his side, the sweat caused his hair to stick to the side of his face and press each individual strand between the cot and his skin, leaving impressions on his cheek. He could feel his pained shallow breathing, each expansion of his lungs making him wince. It hurt to even blink. _How can one describe the effects of the Cruciatus? _Neville's parents were tortured hard and fast by unskilled Death Eaters. They had lost their minds in a matter of forty minutes.

Voldemort was master of pain and understood exactly how much a man could withstand before losing the ability to provide information, before bleeding, before insanity, before succumbing to death. He was especially knowledgeable about the limits of his own servants.

Snape imagined for a moment what he looked like from the ceiling. He was faced away from the door, and his hands were drawn up to protect his chest, his loose fists near his neck. He clutched his vest weakly, with some vague recollection of why that might be important. Feeling something cool and hard press against his skin, he fingered the item between the buttons of his garment.

_The vial._ He thanked the deities and found religion in his moment of desperation. He snuck a sip of the precious elixir, careful to move so minutely that it could scarcely be noticed by onlookers while causing him as little discomfort as possible. When you are a prisoner, and are trapped by wolves, the victim feels any breath or twinge is magnified to his captors, making one panic unnecessarily. Snape did his best not to slow his erratic heartbeat as he wedged the vial back behind his vest and waited for the potion to work. The most beautiful music hummed in his veins as Hermione's blood coursed through him. Of course her gift was accompanied by that of her other two sisters, but in Snape's mind Hermione was healing him. For a few blissful seconds he was back on that imaginary plane, on that grassy hill with her. He reached out to her, but found himself unable to touch her.

_She isn't real. Not here she isn't._

He regained feeling and strength in his limbs, feeling immediately stronger, and more rested. It shocked him that one tiny yet priceless sip of such a potent substance seemed still too large of a dose to cure perhaps days worth of Cruciatus.

He opened his eyes and was aware that he was on a cot in the white room, and knew this setting was the last place any Death Eater wanted to be. Most captives never returned from this room, certainly no Death Eater turned spy. Snape realized that his wand was still with him, partly because Lord Voldemort found it amusing, and partly because he probably had not the strength or the audacity to fire back at his punisher. At the same moment he realized he had his wand, he also realized he was not alone in the room.

As a defensive reaction, he jerked himself upright from the bed, staring into the cold reptilian gaze of Voldemort and a rather smug looking Lucius Malfoy.

_Oh Bugger._

Snape had been in horrible situations before, and as far as Gaia knew, this was, in some small measure, _normal_ for him as far as Death Eater things went. So she lingered in the recesses of his mind.

Voldemort then opened his mouth and uttered the words that erased all possibility of safety. "How is it that a Mudblood can command powerful magic from a wand such as _yours_?"

Snape didn't have a comeback for that one.

Lucius looked over confident in the thought that he was not about to be on the receiving end of Voldemort's punishment. He hoped that Severus would not make good on his threat to poison him. It wasn't like the Dark Lord had given him a choice not to talk.

_So Lucius, you were finally made to speak. It was only a matter of time._ "I-I don't know, my Lord." He looked down, and when he chanced a glance upward, he was staring down the length of Voldemort's wand. He swallowed hard, unable to still the boiling terror churning inside his stomach. _He was discovered. Everything was known or would be… No more spying._

"What connection must there be between you that would allow such a thing to occur? How… very… rare…" Voldemort whispered as he advanced on him, and then, using the tip of his ebony wand, tilted Snape's dark gaze upward to meet his own angry red slits.

He could feel surprisingly cold dead air exhaled from the Dark Lord's flat nostrils, and see him hiss his comments behind pointed clenched teeth. The creepy sensation hit him as Voldemort viciously probed his mind, the tendrils of a wicked man trying to pry apart his very soul. Snape spun out images of the interrogation of her, of the goddess who created a shield between them, of how he tried to reach for his own wand but got burned. Voldemort almost seemed satisfied with the vision and then... hit the barrier that had protected the girl.

"She protects you!" Voldemort threw Snape across the room and he collided with the wall. Voldemort pointed his wand at Snape's chest and all Snape saw next was a blinding flash of light.

-------------------------

"Arghh!" Hermione sighed and threw down her quill, destroying the fifth parchment ruined by her distraction. She was trying earnestly to complete the book of poetry for the wizard's anniversary present to his wife. It was beautiful, and while Hermione tried to observe the document impersonally, as rows of letters and words instead of phrases of love and yearning— more than once a tear had escaped her lashes, dropping violently to the paper, the ink bleeding outward... again. _Damn. _She crumpled up the paper and again made a shot at the wastebasket and missed.

She cursed herself, her posture was poor, and she was slouching. Her shoulders would kill her at this rate. She reached up for a long stretch and bent a little at her waist in each direction, sighing her torment to the ceiling.

_That's not what's bothering you, and you know it._

She couldn't stop thinking about Severus. _Had he returned?_ She hoped at least Minerva would send word. _Or maybe she couldn't? It might look suspicious._ Hermione chewed the inside of her left cheek and resumed her previous pacing. The night before, she hadn't slept well at all and had finally dared herself to sleep in MeMe's bed. Hermione used to cuddle with her when she was a young girl. Her grandmother always smelled like perfumed talc, and MeMe would tuck her in with a glass of water. Those memories provided no comfort to Hermione, for when she awoke not two hours later in a half warm bed, she was still painfully aware that she was alone.

She stared at the ceiling and wondered if because of her emotional attachment to him, perhaps she would instinctively _'know'_ if something was wrong. Her mother had done that to her a number of times, and quite frankly it freaked her out. She figured Muggle or not, mums have special mojo. _Of course, Harry wasn't at all accurate when he thought Sirius was in danger, but then he was letting his emotions get carried away… And a number of times she was in real danger at school but her mum didn't ask… _

_Stop it. You sound like Lavender._

It was wishful thinking on Hermione's part that she would somehow know if he was hurt or dead. That special bond they shared was one night only, she mused. Severus probably went to a Death Eater meeting and came back, _as usual_. No one told her or sent her anything because his disappearance was considered typical, even ordinary. The very thought that members of the Order could think such a thing was ordinary or acceptable roused a fury in Hermione making her cheeks flush angrily once more. It had been days since her initiation into the Order. Glancing at her botched work, and then at the clock she rose to her feet and straightened her work desk, putting away her calligraphy and inkwells.

She looked over at her rather copious notes about the Ministry project, wishing she could stay and work on that project a bit longer before leaving. She still hadn't written a satisfactory reply. She had a million ideas, none of which she had been able to discuss with a soul. In particular she had wanted to check out her ideas with Severus. He was practical, methodical, and reasonable. He could point out potential flaws and contradictions in her magical plan as well as potential disasters she might miss.

What if everyone crossing the seal were forced to tell the truth all the time? People who had made commitments to persons outside of the Ministry would be breaking all kinds of promises. It could even backfire on members of the Order.

What if people felt compelled to be more understanding or fair-minded? Then quiet people who had steeled themselves for a serious talk with their boss about a raise would back off and would be walked over. People who were notoriously unfair would be inconsistent with how they normally act. People would know. They would find out. Hermione's visions about how this would play out always ended with death, torture, or Azkaban prison. The Ministry was an enormous political animal filled with a lot of hard working people who had honor and loyalty. It was just hard to know who those people were. Coming up with good subtle charm ideas for the seal was stressing her out. It was political nightmare.

She rubbed tension from her shoulders to discard the unpleasant weight of work to move on to something more enjoyable. Grabbing her bag and coat off the back of her chair, she sealed the office door behind her with its magical ward as she always did. She was rather proud of her recent efforts to better conceal it by putting a tasteful moving bookcase in front of it. Since only she could unward it, she felt rather safe if someone were actually able to find her place, much less break in.

She tossed her bag over her shoulder, and began the short walk to practice. Hermione shook her head and a tendril fell loose from her haphazard bun. It was a physical attempt to shake the concerns from her mind, but they weren't going anywhere. She could hear the echoes of her steps on the damp street on the way, and knocked into a passerby on the street because she was staring at the sidewalk rather than minding her surroundings.

He grumbled at her, something which was half an insult and a swear. She had deserved it but only acknowledged him with a guilty look.

Hermione detached herself form the usual banter at practices, hoping she didn't seem too antisocial. Every noise around her seemed exaggerated and sharp— the shuffling of scores, the tapping of the conductor's wand against the black metal stand, and Tom slamming his office door.

She went through the motions and mechanically did well enough, but her peers did notice that she wasn't her usual self. Hermione had a habit of being melancholy between practice and performance but this evening was somehow different. Stevens half-hoped the performance wouldn't fall flat, and the other half hoped that her emotional turmoil might contribute positively to the performance.

Eventually evening came and Hermione stood decked from head to toe in black lace, her sultry voice hiding her true emotions. Hermione sang through several tunes until the last. The droning slow notes permeated her until she was inextricably woven into the music.

_There was a moon out in space  
__But a cloud drifted over its face  
__You kissed me and went on your way…  
__The night we called it a day_

As she sang, her voice cracked in places over the notes. She could barely contain her sorrow as each word hit her like a bludger to the heart. Hermione could not stand to be ignored. Things had ended before they even began. In the back of her mind she wanted that strange bond to linger, but all this time, she thought… it was wishful thinking. She wanted something that could never be. She made it difficult for him by preventing him from speaking his mind the morning after. She didn't even know he was ending it.

_I heard the song of the spheres  
__Like a minor lament in my ears  
__I hadn't a heart left to pray  
__The night we called it a day_

_Soft through the dark  
__The hoot of an owl  
__In the sky  
__Sad though his song  
__No bluer was he than I_

_The moon went down… stars were gone  
__But the sun didn't rise with the dawn  
__There wasn't a thing left to say  
__The night we called it day…_

_There wasn't a thing left to say  
__The night we called it a day._

There was no clapping, though it was likely her best performance. The sad thing was that it was over, and while Stevens was very satisfied by her gut wrenching performance, he felt guilty for squeezing it out of her. And especially for choosing that to be the last song of the evening. All the patrons left depressed. And Stevens knew he'd get a tongue lashing for it.

She stumbled her way to the back to change, and turned slowly after hearing her name.

"Hermione, that was fabulous!" Danny paused in his excitement noticing her expression. "Hermione, are you alright?"

Hermione stared at him for a moment blankly almost looking through him. She had forgotten that she bought Danny a seat to celebrate his acceptance into Oxford. "Give me a minute," she said blankly, her voice empty. But she did not move.

Danny walked up to her gentle figure and reached his arms out to gently hug her. Her romantic problems were acknowledged and complications were left unspoken and unexplained. He respected her space enough to let her bring it up. He had harassed her about it enough when he knew her as Kate.

Hermione came to her senses and pulled free, not unkindly, refusing his unwanted gesture. "I'm sorry, Danny. I'm glad you liked it. I'll be back in a minute."

She adjourned to the bathroom and slipped on a pale green linen skirt and blouse. She splashed her face with water and patted it, though it didn't rid her of the horribly intrusive thoughts that there was nothing between her and Severus and had never been.

Hermione looked in the mirror at her form and her face. The music was gone and she could hear the sounds of the janitors sweeping up in the back, and the shuffling of feet as people made their way to the door. When she sang, the club was dim and warm, a romantic setting as long as she wasn't depressing the patrons with the lyrics. The florescent lights were bright in the ladies bathroom, effectively extinguishing the melancholy atmosphere she had just departed. Suddenly a wiser perspective came into view.

Severus said no such thing to her. He couldn't. He left things rather open actually, and she had meant that she would wait for him. _But for God's sake, it had only been three weeks!_ Hermione couldn't possibly believe herself to be ready to give up on a relationship with him yet.

_'I'm glad they didn't fade. Hermione, ever since you left… you stayed with me. If something had happened to you…'_

In the plain light of the bathroom and in her recollection, those were not the words of a man who had told her 'no'. But it still pained her that she had not heard a yes. She straightened her shoulders, looked herself in the eye in the mirror, and picked up her bag.

"Danny? You ready?" She smiled apologetically.

"How about you? Are you up for tonight?"

"I'm better. Sorry about before. I didn't want to back out on you, we've been planning this for a week!" Hermione put on her best smile, but Danny could see she was hurt.

"Hermione…" he hugged her with one arm, and they exited the back door. Walking together down the sidewalk toward her flat, they talked amongst themselves. "He's still on your mind then."

She snorted, and rubbed the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "Yes, I suppose there is nothing I can do about that. I just can't stop thinking about him."

"Hermione, there will be plenty of times for us to sit and catch up." Hermione made to protest, but Danny shushed her. "There will. Do what you have to do, but don't go home tonight. Go out and do something for yourself. Have coffee… you like that." He laughed and patted her shoulder, giving her a warm smile.

A light went on in Hermione's head. She wouldn't go home. She knew exactly what would make her feel better.

-----------------------------

Snape dreaded this moment—the point at which his services to the Order would no longer be useful. He said the password to Dumbledore's office and the stairs raised him to the door of the Headmaster.

Snape never thought he would return. Staring down the length of Voldemort's wand, knowing death awaited him—no one could escape Voldemort if he wanted to kill you—death had always seemed a certain thing. For Snape, there had always been a mild comfort in that. Snape suspected after years of spying he might find an odd sense of peace knowing that it was finally bout to end. His life, his obligations, the emptiness gone.

Of course, he had always longed to die in the final battle—successfully spying for the entire duration of Voldemort's reign, his role as spy only discovered at the last possible and most inopportune moment… too late for Death Eaters to punish him for, too late to turn around Voldemort's failed plans that Snape helped to destroy. Of course he would love to survive, and gloat, and contemplate a future free from servitude, but Snape wasn't ever _that_ optimistic.

Until recently.

At the end of Voldemort's wand, instead of picturing serenity as he had imagined, he was afraid for who he was leaving behind. Snape felt he did have obligations—no, not obligations… he had love, a life beyond service to Dumbledore, beyond the Order, beyond his role as teacher, beyond any fanciful dreams of research in potions and professional advancement and fame.

The last place he wanted to be was here.

Dumbledore bolted to his feet and embraced the younger wizard, taking Snape entirely off guard. The last time Dumbledore had hugged Snape like that was the day he had come to tell him of James and Lily Potter's deaths.

"Severus, my boy…" Dumbledore rumbled. "We have been so concerned about you." He pulled back from Snape and held his shoulders at arms length, his eyes twinkling madly in an effort to discern his health from a single glance. "You look remarkably well. Were we worried for no reason?" His eyes met Snape's inky black depths.

Snape had a look of regret on his face, standing in front of the man to whom he still owed so much. But his eyes held also something different, hope and someplace else he ought to be. "Headmaster, we need to… _debrief_." His emphasis on the word said enough to the elder professor, and Dumbledore sat down shakily in his chair.

"You can no longer spy, can you?" The question was said on mere breath and Dumbledore's eyes lost their twinkle.

When Snape merely nodded, that merriment came back and shone again on Dumbledore's face. The elder wizard felt something akin to elation in his gut. Dumbledore whipped out that ugly red polka-dotted handkerchief and blotted his eyes, blowing his nose hard into the soft linen. They always thought they would hear of Snape's death when Voldemort found out his role as spy and here he was sitting in front of him, looking completely well.

Snape didn't know how to react to Dumbledore. He wasn't sure he was reading his cues correctly.

Dumbledore finally examined Snape's dejected expression and explained clearly, "I am very happy that you are finally free of a burden you've carried admirably, and under great stress for 20 some years. Do not despair. There are other ways you can and _have_ been helpful. I daresay many of our peers will feel relieved of your safe return."

"They will come for me." Snape said, knowing he would be hunted.

"Perhaps so, perhaps. If they dare to come to Hogwarts, I believe there will be people standing to protect you," he said with a promising smile. "And you'll be no more hunted than Harry or others I might mention."

Snape sighed, really feeling his freedom now, but distracted by duty. "What can I do to help?"

"I know of a certain young man who needs more training in Occlumency and _non-verbal_ cues. Miss Granger managed to discern his correct loyalties in about 30 minutes. Perhaps you'll tell me a bit of what happened?"

It took Snape the better part of three hours to debrief with Dumbledore, and when they were finished, for the most part—after developing a lengthy list of Order business, and things he needed to do to prepare Victor further.

Distracted by an odd thought, Snape looked up from his cold tea and asked, "What day is it?"

Dumbledore smiled, but it was a weak smile. No matter how healthy Severus looked to old eyes, Severus had suffered, and suffered enough—especially if he had to ask which day it was. "Saturday morning."

Snape made to stand from his chair, stretching a bit to get himself to an upright position after sitting for so long. Dumbledore could not miss the faint hint of a smile hidden behind Snape's cheeks.

"I'll see you Monday, Severus," Dumbledore said knowingly. He winked at him and Snape exited the stairs swiftly with almost a bounce in his step.

Minerva was right, he had to admit. Snape had lost something important the day Miss Granger left in January. It was invisible at the time because of everyone else's worry for the missing student. Once she left for the second time, the change in him was obvious to those who knew him well. He would be incomplete without her. In helping her settle in her apartment and seeing her at the Order initiation, Dumbledore knew the same was true for her as well. There would be no separating them.

_Go get her. _

-----------

Arthur was tinkering with a marvelous contraption called a 'juicer.' Of course, it didn't juice anymore, as Arthur had taken it entirely apart, its innards displayed in a colorful array of wires, gears, rubber washers and miscellaneous plastic parts. Molly was thankful that the knocking and banging was finally over. She always muttered something about him finding the proper tools, but then he might hurt himself in the process as he muddled his way through.

Saturday's were usually pretty relaxed at the Burrow. Ron preferred to spend his summer working for Fred and George's shop, and staying out-of-doors practicing Quidditch moves on the Cleensweep his mum bought him for becoming a prefect. Ginny took a summer job at Fortesque's next to WWW. The unfortunate consequence of this was that the Weasley household was fairly vacant, and while the lengthy stay of Granger's was pleasant, it was wonderful for Arthur and Molly to have time to themselves, to a point. The house was feeling pretty empty, and both parents were feeling it.

Molly had been busying herself with housework, but everything was done. No dishes to wash, no books left unread. The house was spotless, and she was left to resume her worry over Severus, who had disappeared without a word about one week ago. She wrung her cloth out one more time muttering under her breath.

"Love…" Arthur was at her side, abandoning his hobby to console his sighing wife. "Honey, you're going to wear a depression right into the table." His hand covered hers, and pulled the well worn cloth from her fingertips. She had been worrying the poor table to death.

She turned into his chest, Mister Weasley standing a great deal taller than her, but reduced his height by leaning a bit against the kitchen table in order to be closer to her. He kissed the top of her auburn hair.

"I'm worried, Arthur."

"I know dear."

"Never been this long before."

"I know dear." He rubbed her back and she sighed into his chest, hugging him.

She sniffed and stepped back from him. "I'm being silly," she said into her handkerchief. "Of course he's all right," she said, trying to convince herself.

"You're not silly, dear," Arthur said seriously, plenty concerned himself about the Order's best spy. Severus and he may have never been particularly close, but plotting against the Dark Lord in closed quarters like Grimmauld Place had brought them to some kind of understanding. The Order members had their own special kinship.

A knock at the door brought them out of their reverie, and Molly left to answer it.

Snape stood there, looking quite well and shocking Molly so greatly that she jumped and threw her arms about him without thinking. Tears leaked from her eyes, and Snape stood stiffly, not expecting such a welcome, but quickly realized with a feeling of warmth settling in his chest that people were very worried about him and deeply concerned about his health and well-being.

_I can't breathe…_

As quickly as Molly hugged him, she pulled away and wanted to scold him like one of her errant children. "Where have you been? Gone so long… no word…so worried…"

"Molly, why don't you pour us some tea?" Arthur suggested, to give Snape some breathing room and also give his wife something useful to do (that always seemed to help when she was nervous). Molly backed away from Severus, still keeping an eye on him, as if he'd disappear.

"Molly, thank you, but I can't stay." Snape shifted his feet uncomfortably and saw that Hermione was obviously not here, but still felt compelled to ask. He was so anxious to find her, he felt about twelve. "Do you know where I might find Her- Miss Granger?"

This was the second time he had come asking Molly such a thing and she was beginning to become a might suspicious about their resident spy.

"Severus Snape," she said pointing a sharp finger, "you better tell me if that girl is in trouble, so help me…"

"Molly, please. She is not in danger, I merely wish to speak with her. Do you know where I can find her?"

Arthur was pretty quick on the uptake and had seen how distressed Hermione looked at the Order meeting when Minerva had told her of Severus' disappearance. His gut tensed a bit imagining the unlikely couple, but somehow the similarities and compatibility began to emerge. _No wonder she left_. Snape had endured enough judgment without him appointing himself to the jury. He stood to escort Severus out the front, and spoke in a low friendly voice. "You might try her parents in Reading, but I know she has her own place now. No point for you to ask where it is, of course. She's a careful one."

Severus nodded, grateful for Arthur's quick summary and candor which he needed.

Molly trailed behind her husband eager to listen in and catch what she was obviously missing.

"Did she… look well at the Order meeting? Her initiation…" Severus was crushed he had missed it, he remembered his own initiation. It was like a healing of sorts and a feeling of belonging that so completely transcended what the Death Eaters had offered. The magic of friendship in all it's simplicity, coupled of course with utter and complete commitment. While he felt the tiniest bit hesitant to agree to the terms— _who wouldn't be?_— it was a bit like the unconditional love one would show to your family, your true family, something he had not really experienced from his own parents. We wondered if it was as powerful an experience for her.

"All went well, but everything fell rather flat on your absence. We haven't celebrated yet, not like we usually do of course. With you gone, no one really felt like celebrating." Arthur clapped Severus affectionately on his shoulder and lightened the mood, "But here you are! I'm sure you have much to tell, but we can wait, can't we honey? Good luck then." Arthur smiled and Molly waved as Severus made to disapparate.

Severus disliked many people. People in general irritated him. Everyone. But he _liked_ Arthur Weasley. He had been consistently friendly in a genuine way ever since they had met. Arthur was no pushover and could certainly hold his ground and put his foot down. He didn't need to parade or make a show of force when someone like Lucius showed up. In that yielding way, Arthur had more finesse and grace than Malfoy would ever have.

From there he left to her parents' home in Reading, still marveling over Arthur's tact and lack of comment on their relationship which he had obviously deduced. Snape's probing questions hid none of his feelings. Snape was usually so guarded with his emotions, he found himself a bit surprised at how much he was willing to risk to show his caring for her.

Hermione's mother was just coming to the door to pick up the post and gasped when she saw him. _Was he always the bearer of bad news?_ Of course the Grangers associated him with the search for her, and likely assumed the worst.

"Dr. Granger, good evening."

"Professor Snape do come in, and call me Wendy please."

Once again he hadn't intended on staying long, but was pulled into her simple hospitality, feeling a bit guilty for wanting to interrogate and run. He hoped his impatience wasn't showing too clearly on his face. Concealing his emotions was a habit, but today especially he was feeling freer than he had in years.

She poured him some tea, and make excuses for her husband Robert who had gone to tend to an emergency at the office.

"I was wondering, after all that's happened… How is Hermione doing?"

"Quite well, I think. She's waiting I think, to settle in before pursuing a more formal career. She just rented a flat a little over a week or so ago…" Wendy could tell by the expression on his face, that this wasn't actually the direction that he was hoping for. Wendy had good instincts and a knack for sizing people up. She quickly added, "That wasn't _exactly_ what you wanted to know was it?"

"Not exactly," he admitted reluctantly, surprised he wasn't trying to make a better impression on Hermione's mother. He was certainly hoping they could work out as a couple. Certainly a positive relationship with her parents would be important, much as Hermione loved them.

"So you were inquiring about her… emotional health?" Wendy asked, a bit surprised, as Snape's reputation for coldness preceded him. Amazingly, on most occasions of late, Snape had been especially kind and considerate where Hermione was concerned. _So helpful in trying to locate her…__ Ron had mentioned something about him being present when she returned._

After a few moments of rather awkward questions, Wendy's eyes widened in realization of her daughter's earlier cryptic responses. Her lips parted but refrained from forming a rather wide look of astonishment, then changed to something more contemplative, and shockingly… approving.

She took a breath and exhaled, meeting his eyes consistently. "She looks distracted quite a bit lately. She doesn't talk with us much, sticks to discussion of work, exams, and activities rather than talk about her disappearance. I couldn't reach her for a few days earlier this week. Minerva sent me an owl and asked me to look out for her, but didn't mention why she was so preoccupied." Snape looked pensive. "That wouldn't have anything to do with you now, would it?"

Snape didn't quite know how her mother would react, but was quite taken aback when her eyes shone with emotion, something akin to approval or understanding.

Snape smirked and blushed a bit at her frank guess about their relationship— feeling a bit unsettled at how easily Arthur and Wendy accurately deduced his feelings. He stammered, and couldn't quite respond but Wendy saw the affirmative in his eyes.

She smiled. "Hermione is miserable without you." Snape felt a bubble of hope swell inside him at the confirmation of her daughter's feelings. "She won't talk about it, but it's so obvious. She sings Friday and Saturday night in a club called Rue Nineteen in London. Afraid I can't tell you how to get to her flat, but of course you probably already know that."

"Thank you Wendy." He stood to leave, and she shook his hand, more of a welcome than a good-bye.

"You're welcome. I'll tell her you stopped by. I'm sure she'll be glad to know you asked about her." Her smile shone on him as he left, hopeful that her daughter would once again smile like she should and talk more openly about her experiences. No wonder she was so hushed up about it. She wondered how on earth she would break the news to Robert.

It was ten o'clock when he went by the bar where her mother said she moonlighted. Hermione had already left for the evening. Tom recognized him though, and made some smartass comment about him no longer being her 'driver' anymore. Apparently she had sung there that evening, and 'Myra Winters' was captioned on the painted wooden marquis in the window.

He nearly could kick himself for not topping by her neighbor's home earlier. He returned to Reading and called on Jake. Jake raised an eyebrow at his arrival, once again wondering why he should help a man who didn't give him any clue about Hermione on their first visit. After cracking an inappropriate joke about her disappearing again, which resulted in Snape's resulting look of pained concern at the mention, Jake also began to get a clearer picture of their relationship and adopted a more serious approach with the stiff man in front of him.

Jake sized him up quickly, pulling together the fragments of her conversations with Hermione and Harry. Finally he did manage to say he hadn't seen her but had a suggestion or two.

_"Or, don't you know Hermione? If she's anywhere, she's off reading a book. Probably in some library,"_ he had said.

That jarred Severus' memory and he immediately apparated to Grimmauld Place. She had spent last summer there and he recalled her precocious nature. He had seen her quite often, invading his space by occupying the library in flannel pajamas… and during that time she was penning his book.

_The ink poisoning… How had he not known?_ She treated him with genuine kindness and respect and he had callously disregarded her, as he always did. It wasn't pity. She did it out of concern and desire to speak with him, as an equal. And while he wanted to take her on as a student for a project, he couldn't bring himself to converse with her. The poem came back to him. She had written it here: _She avoids even fleeting glances. If he were to look on her, would he know? If he found her— If he truly saw her as she is would he honor her with conversation and companionship?_

Those words filled him with guilt. Severus regretted his old habit of pushing people away and wanted to make up for that.

Hermione was right. As much as she wanted to feel him, to lay with him, she regretted that it was so wrongly backwards. There were no dates or long conversations other than those of her independent study. And while both had been tempted to extended her studies well into the evening and discuss other subjects, they were always aware of the time and of curfews, and of the blasted teacher/student relationship. That was over now; she had taken her NEWTS and passed with some of the highest exam scores ever recorded. Now that she had graduated from school, there would be no more opportunities to give her cause to speak with him, to work alongside him, to be in his company.

He had turned around twice. _You don't deserve such a beautiful creature. She's better of without you. She had a bright future ahead of her. She'll get over you… find someone younger… less jaded… someone better…_

Then something stronger took a hold of him and he turned around again. Snape didn't want her to find someone else. He remembered the vision of her face so focused on him, so content in his embrace. He fought back and forth with himself in his onslaught of self-doubt. This was an argument he could not have with himself— if he truly respected Hermione, he would be discussing his concerns with her.

Severus entered the front door and walked silently in. Everything was quiet and still, seemingly untouched. The piano where Hermione had played for them was unmoved and dusty. He regretted how he had treated her so coldly that evening. He caught his breath when he walked to the left and saw the light on in the hall.

She was sitting there in the study with her eyes closed, legs crossed in the comfortable leather chair he called his own. He had found her in it more than once that summer. He allowed a smile to play across his lips.

"You are in my chair, Miss Granger," he said silkily.

Hermione opened her eyes slowly and looked at the tall figure of her dreams standing in the doorway. She smiled and said quietly, "It's not your chair anymore."

Severus' smile faded. _Had he waited too long?_

Hermione noticed right away that he misinterpreted her statement, and looked on him kindly. "I meant to say," she rose from her chair brushing the leather arm with her fingertips, "you haven't sat here in so long… it doesn't _smell_ like you anymore." Her voice held a twinge of regret. She was sitting here to be close to him, as close as she could considering how he had pushed her away. She smiled at him and waited for him to make the next move.

She wanted to smell him. She sat here thinking about his fragrance as he had been reminded of her own last summer. He was unwilling to acknowledge it then, but he enjoyed her scent. The delicate fragrance of her soap… like jasmine and vanilla.

"You are difficult woman to locate," he said.

"I've been told that. How long did it take you?"

"This time? Four hours." Her jaw dropped in astonishment. _Gods those lips_. "I regret I missed your performance at Rue Nineteen. Jake reminded me you preferred the library and I thought of this place."

Her eyes locked with his, uncertain of what was really being said here. Her heart hammered in her chest and she felt it could be heard from where she sat. _Could there be something?_

"We really didn't get a chance to talk last time I saw you. Perhaps, if you would like companionship… we could talk? Though I'm not quite sure why you might think it an honor." A sappy misquotation from her poem, but he hoped it was a way in.

"I would like that." She wanted to say 'love that' but didn't want to pressure the man. He was well aware of her feelings. She thought about a previous dream, and her one fantasy she could make come true. She came to her feet and stood to face him. "I'll be right back, wait here."

_Her eyes always twinkled when she smiled,_ he thought. They became crescent moons and her lashes hit her cheeks. He tentatively reached out to grasp her hands, but did not kiss her. She was too fast— her fingers skimmed his own and slipped past him through the sliding doors.

He wondered what she could be up to, and for several agonizing minutes she was gone. In the distance he could hear her knocking about in the kitchen and then a dripping sound. Then the smell hit him… cinnamon and coffee. Amazing and wonderful scent memories. Severus closed his eyes and remembered how many times he had sat with an ordinary cup of coffee at Hogwarts, warming his fingertips and wishing it were filled with coffee worth drinking. Drinking coffee she had made.

Hermione resisted the urge to hum and carrying two mugs back to the library, she eyed Severus, who had made himself quite comfortable in 'his' chair, and handed him a cup. Without notice she transfigured the chair he had been sitting on to become elongated, having two dents for a comfortable seating instead of bickering over the one. She sat and inhaled the aroma from her own mug. "I've been wanting to do this for a long time," she said in low quiet voice.

"Indeed." His eyes never left hers. She remembered how he liked it, cream no sugar.

She blushed remembering her dream of bringing him a thermos of coffee.

"Now, now Miss Granger, I am a skilled Legilimens. Are you going to explain?" he asked silkily, a bit of threat implied.

Her jaw dropped and she couldn't come up with a suitable answer. "I had a dream after the start of the school year where I brought you coffee…"

"And…"

"You really know how to put people on the spot. And don't call me Miss Granger either, I'm not your student anymore."

"So Dumbledore has informed me." He stroked the lip of his mug with his fingertips and gazed at her. When he said that, she knew. _They could have a relationship._ He nodded to her.

"What? How, I mean… but your status as a spy for the Order…"

"Has been blown to pieces yesterday evening," he supplied, the words tumbling out nonchalantly.

Hermione sat upright, her jaw slack, her hazel eyes filled with emotion. "But-but, you're okay… What happened?"

"Lucius told the Dark Lord about you use of my wand," he said with a trace of disdain. Still a personal matter, borrowing someone's wand. "Still haven't figured that one out. He took one look at me and when our eyes met he knew you and I were… _connected_." A look of contentment crossed his face. Feeling connected to her made him pleased.

Hermione blurted out, "But he could have killed you!"

Severus smirked and set his mug on the side table. "He tried to… but what can I say? I was _blessed_." Severus stroked the side of Hermione's face in thanks and she hugged him, laying her head on his shoulder, her face turned inward toward his neck. She shuddered when she breathed; relieved he was finally discharged from that burden. Gaia protected him, though Hermione had wished he could keep that protection a while longer.

Severus felt his heart fill up with how tightly she held to him, longing to be held and cared for so intensely. It was one of those fierce hugs she had seen her give Harry, Ron, Molly, Ginny and Hagrid. He hugged her back and permitted himself to hold her as tightly, dropping his defenses, finally accepting her.

She closed her eyes and smelled him. He was real. She was real. The spell was done and they could just be. Unhurried, but no passion lost for it.

He chuckled recognizing her obvious attempt at inhaling him. It was completely deliberate and non-subtle. He understood perfectly. She was close enough for him to catch the fragrance of peaches in her hair. Not a bad trade. "Hermione," he pulled her away to look in her eyes. "I'm surprised to feel as comfortable as I do with you now. I'm used to… keeping people at a distance. But now…" he traced her cheek, gracing a lock of her hair with a long finger. "I can't seem to live my life alone anymore."

She gazed back at him, not quite knowing what to say, feeling like she was holding something rather fragile. After a while, she dared to look more deeply into his eyes. "There is so much I want to ask you… I just…" she sighed exasperatedly. "I don't know at all what I am doing," she muttered.

Snape laughed. He grasped her hand and began rubbing it with slow firm squeezes, periodically tracing circles on her wrist with his thumb. "It would be rather arrogant of me to presume I know better how to guide us through this, but I'm afraid that even my advanced age has not afforded me with a wealth of knowledge about healthy relationships."

"Advanced age? Give me a break. Flamel was a man with 'advanced' age." Hermione smirked. "Yes, well. As often as I think you could use a bit more diplomacy in your classroom, I think we get along pretty well, one to one."

Snape looked like he had just been taken down a peg.

"Oh, really? Is that based on our research? Or… in another arena?" Snape suppressed a devilish smile as he achieved his intended effect. Hermione was blushing furiously, but trying not to, if such a thing was possible. She was all the more beautiful for it. He leaned closer to her. "I'm not easy to get along with."

"I seem to remember we did fine all of last semester."

"I need space."

"So do I. I think we are both more similar than you'd like to admit, Severus."

Snape allowed his eyes to close. "Say that again."

Hermione smiled. "I think we're both…" Snape glared at her impish smile. Hermione leaned forward, almost nose to nose with him. "Severus."

He bent his head until his lips were a scant inch from his, until he could feel her breath against his own lips… and then he kissed her.

Hermione felt her heart settle somewhere in her throat as the man famed for his nasty disposition was quite literally robbing her of all coherent thought.

When their lips parted, just briefly, he whispered. "This won't be easy."

Hermione leaned back again, and placed her hands firmly on his cheeks. "Who are you trying to convince here? You came to me remember? Do you want this?"

"Gods, yes." That was the understatement of the century.

"I know this won't be easy. I don't want easy. I want to feel complete. I want real. As long we have each other," she whispered and kissed him again. "We'll have something the war can't touch."

He knew she wasn't trying to oversimplify. She knew how complicated it would be. _Dangerous enough for each of them on their own paths.__ Perhaps safer for them together. __Those issues would be discussed— but not now._

The pull of their attraction could still be deeply felt, but it was manageable. If anything, Hermione wasn't saddened by the loss of the intense desire, she was relieved because the chemistry between them was still palpable even in ordinary conversation. And they did make a good try. They resumed their discussion about the two remaining ingredients left from their experiment and managed to talk pretty solidly for at least fifteen minutes.

"I think you might have something there with the valeria…"

Severus pulled her face to his and kissed her deeply, cutting off her speech. "You talk too much," he murmured against her lips.

For once, Hermione didn't argue and gave herself over to the sensations traveling down her spine into her belly. He hugged her tightly to him, pressing her as close as their bodies would allow, he whispered apologies into her hair and against her neck as he kissed her. "Hermione, I'm sorry I let you go that morning, we should've talked then." He kissed her again, nipping at her neck and jaw. "I really want to talk to you about these things…."

She snorted, "Mmhmm…Potions is such a turn on," she jibbed.

When his throaty laugh could be felt against her neck she gasped. "…but somehow I have temporarily lost interest for the subject," he purred in her ear. He traced the outer edge of her ear with his tongue and a delicious chill spread goose bumps across her flesh. Suddenly she was feeling way too exposed in a house frequented by too many Order members for where this was headed.

_Gods, how did he do that?_

"Oh Severus, don't you think we should…"

"Oh yes, definitely." He said with a devious grin which once belonged to the 'Big Bad Wolf.'

"Take this somewhere else?" She asked smiling against his mouth, her tongue danced across his parted lips, teasing him cruelly until he claimed her.

He pulled her gently to her feet, still kissing her delicately, sweetly, breaking off from his previous passion from earlier, but not leaving her wanting. "Hermione, I wanted to take this more slowly. I felt you deserved that much from me," he said holding her face and looking at her seriously. She looked disappointed, he could see it in her eyes. She didn't want him to stop. "You have made your feelings known and that you want a relationship with me, though for the life of me I can't understand why."

She nodded, waiting for his next sentence. She wasn't about to interrupt him again.

"But I haven't really talked about my… feelings for you. I regret not telling you more earlier, but it didn't seem appropriate that evening. There was no time, and I didn't want the disappointment for either of us by making a declaration I couldn't follow through on. I won't make empty promises to you Hermione. I care about you more deeply than anyone I have ever known, and I still don't quite understand it or why. I love you, very much. I have been the happiest in my life just knowing that I love you."

Tears of joy streamed freely down Hermione's rounded cheeks. She never thought Severus would be the one to apologize, but then there were a lot of things she didn't know about him and was relieved that he cared for her enough to let her take this journey with him.

She was smiling at him like he held every good thing. When Severus saw that look, even when they weren't sexually intimate, he felt very hopeful for a long and happy future with someone who met all of his needs, and knew could care for him the same.

"I love you too, Severus." In all of her life she couldn't imagined she had ever wanted anything more than to be wanted this way— to be loved so strongly and to return that affection equally deeply. He was her match, she knew it.

He looked at her for a long moment and stared into her glittering eyes. He pulled her close to his body and murmured his 'I love you's' to her, amazed that he was able to say such a thing to any woman, and be free to say it, and really mean it.

Hermione felt the warm rhythms of desire flow through her once more, beautifully creeping along her skin to her toes. "Severus, do you want to come to my flat?" He smiled at her, happy to finally help her settle into her lonely apartment. He hadn't yet told her about the observation period and preferred to kept that private until he was out of hexing range.

They necked and kissed all the way up the stairs, fumbling with her key and the wards to let them in the door. She put her things down, but his hands never left her waist.

"I love your hair," he said, pulling it free from the loose band she had securing it.

She couldn't help but snort, which he made a face at. He was trying bit of romance, and he was being honest. Her giggle broke the mood a bit and she felt it. She covered her mouth with her hand in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. It's just that I've always hated it, so it's amusing that you would find it attractive."

"You have more than a few attractive qualities, Hermione," he said huskily, his eyes bore into hers to assure her of the fact before kissing her lightly, then leaning her over his knee, pressing into the kiss, grasping her bottom firmly with one hand.

He moved to pull up her shirt, and she began to feel a little self-conscious, wanting the light off. Severus noticed her hesitation. "Hermione?"

"I'm sorry, it's just… It feels awkward with all the lights on. Can I light some candles?" She asked and blushed a bit.

He hadn't anticipated any shyness, as she had been so bold with her advances before. But this was only her second opportunity for lovemaking, and she was somewhat 'under the influence' on their last encounter. He enjoyed it that she hadn't lost her modesty, her innocence about these things after all that happened. If done properly, he could use it to both of their advantages. Anticipation can be very exciting.

"Hermione, you can do whatever makes you feel comfortable. But I assure you, you are very beautiful. I enjoy looking at you." His intense gaze was rather overpowering and while she felt a little like prey, it was exciting to know he desired her so much. The tables were turned so to speak. He waved his wand with a string of soft incantations. Candles floated everywhere, their soft light bathing the room in a warm glow. He didn't even look away from her, nothing would distract his attention.

Kissing her briefly, teasingly, he pulled away from her, parted lips, flicking his tongue across hers, then her jaw. Each time his mouth left hers, she leaned forward, not wanting him to stop, wanting more. He ran his fingers through her hair and let them travel down the length of her body, skimming her shoulders, back, waist, hips, and when he could reach no further, he imperceptibly began to sink lower. Bending at the knee, kissing his way down her chest, he gently bit at her nipples, leaving them erect beneath the wet fabric where his tongue had ravished her. Letting his hands slip down her bare legs, he growled in appreciation of a skirt choice today.

His lips began to curl, looking up at her from his squatted position, and could see her vainly trying to maintain some sort of control over herself. Chewing her lower lip, he could see he wasn't going to be able to suppress much after this. He snaked his hands up her legs again and then down, and then up a bit more and down, hovering around her knees, letting the warmth of his hands radiate out to her skin.

Hermione's mouth parted and licked her lips as she watched his hands… _God those hands_… disappear underneath her skirt. He rubbed circles on her pelvis and drifted lower to her thighs. She could not suppress a groan of frustration as she willed him to move to her center. A wicked smile eeked across his face as his pinky traced the outline of the edge of her underwear, sending a delicious thrill through her. It aggravated and pleasured her that he found her slow torture amusing, and that's why she let him. She felt her knees weaken, but also she missed his mouth.

"Come here," she growled and grasped his neck to pull him up to her. She kissed him greedily and pushed him into the bed, getting on her knees. They faced each other, grasping and pulling and tugging at each other's clothes and curves and skin. He reached up under her skirt again, grasping her bum. When she let out a surprised squeak, he flipped her over as he had done before and her memory was jogged instantly to what she had found so arousing before, yet unable to tolerate in her former condition. She groaned before he even touched her.

"My, my Hermione," he murmured into her ear, as his fingers slowly unfastened the button on her skirt. "Eager are we?"

She could only moan. The friction between her taut nipples and the bed coverlet was arousing and the thought of her vulnerability at having her back to him. _The possibilities… oh._ She was open to anything.

He inched her skirt off of her, gasping a bit as she lifted her bottom off the bed to allow him to remove the garment. Once again her rounded flesh was exposed, though instead of a thong, she wore lacy underwear, which he was pleased to feel was damp already from her arousal. He hooked a finger around them and pulled them down, tracing a line down the inside of her cheek, down her leg. He was still fully clothed, and found the thought of taking his time rather enjoyable.

His clothing, while finely tailored, felt scratchy against her skin, though it didn't seem nearly as much of a distraction as his hand slowly sliding up her legs to her bottom. She let him guide her through his little scenario. It was obvious he had something in mind and she was too out of it to think about what he was planning and just let him tell her what to do. He leaned in close to her neck and his lips brushed her ear. "Part your legs slightly," he breathed, and snaked his hand in between her thighs.

She gasped to herself and felt warm despite gooseflesh. Severus was pleased with the result, and decided to test the boundaries a bit. He rubbed her bottom and then gave it a gentle slap, returning to stroke and finger her delicate flesh on the inside of her thighs but never quite touching her where she so desperately yearned for him to be. Her moaning and gasps were indicators of her pleasure, the ecstasy of stinging deep inside her surprised Hermione to say the least. He slapped her bum again and rubbed again causing the most delicious sensations, but after four or five spanks she quickly came to her senses and couldn't take anymore.

Her face was in the pillow, which somewhat muffled her whimpering. She enjoyed that this was pleasurable for both of them, but at the time it seemed too orchestrated and mechanical, a far too impersonal pastime for how she was feeling. She wanted to see him, to look into his eyes and have him know she loved him.

He reached back behind her and pulled his wrist slightly, indicating her wish to change positions. "Severus…" She rolled over and leaned upward to look at him deeply. She touched his face, so delicately that Severus felt his heart unravel at her gentle emotion filled action. Her eyes glittered and without breaking eye contact, Severus reached up to unfasten his vest. Hermione chewed her lower lip in anticipation of feeling his skin next to hers, becoming one.

"Gods you're so beautiful," he whispered.

He discarded his shirt and vest on the floor and Hermione caught a glimpse of an ornate vial in her peripheral vision. It was empty. She gasped and tears fell freely to her cheeks. "Oh my God…you needed it."

"Shhh, love. Shhh. I'm fine. You saved me." He lifted the long necklace over his head and set it on the dresser. "You saved me in more ways than one." He kissed her more deeply than he ever had.

They made love slowly, tenderly, their bodies undistinguishable from one another, their rhythmic movements small but consistent as they held each other so closely they could scarcely do more but kiss and look at one another, savoring each sigh and endearment.

They knew they were home. In the middle of a war, but no more running, no more loneliness… just the two of them and the rest of their lives.

Whatever God would give them, they would cherish.

FINIS (Epilogue coming)

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The title for the chapter really doesn't have do much to do with this chapter, except perhaps that Snape's feelings are now so transparent and seems to care less. I frankly listen to a lot of Earth, Wind, and Fire and that song keeps running in my head. As a bonus, I've posted the lyrics at the end of the reviews.

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All y'all— so much for all of your support and assistance in helping me to write. This has been so much fun. It took me forever to post this chapter because I didn't want it to end. So sad! I can see a sequel, but I can't picture it yet, so it may not happen. There will, at least be an Epilogue.

Thank you for your patience while waiting for me to post. Unfortunately another reason for the delay was that my husband and I miscarried and we'll have to try again. Thank you for your sweet comments and prayers. They are appreciated. We got pregnant easily and the doctor said we can try again right away. We are still blessed.

Your enthusiasm and ideas were exciting and enjoyable to read. I will eventually go back and tweak chapters and then slowly upload to ashwinder once I figure out "again" how to format properly since I operate in Word.

_The Night We Called It a Day_, sung by Diana Krall on The Look of Love album. I highly recommend all of her work.

drs- Thank you for your feeback. And don't encourage me to take my time, otherwise I'll never finish! wink

BlackMajenta- ha! I did read that as goodness at first! Thanks you for your glowing review (my head is swelling like Aunt Marge). Bawling is good… release your feelings Luke and let them flow through you! (Sorry about the Star Wars ref…. eeek!) I hope this chapter aims to please, I can't help but feel a little downhearted that it's coming to a close.

magnetic-starfish- thanks a bunch!

Hiro No Tsuki- Thank you for your review and complements. It's always a struggle to keep characters in character. Though with the SS/HG pairing (for myself it seems a stretch, though I'm a die hard shipper). I suppose Severus isn't particularly romantic and is devoid of mushy qualities. I imagine people in love are unpredictable, so I bet none of us could guess. I know J.K. Rowling had called him a deeply horrible person (or something to that effect), but I imagine as the books progress we slowly see more of the professors and their complicated lives. I'm sure as first year students no one really seemed to know or care which teachers were married, split-up, had kids… etc. I'd be fascinated to know what she really thinks. In the meantime, we get to play and fantasize until she writes a new book that has statements which contradict what had been written here, and then I'll have to start all over again!

BabyGidGirl- Posting now! Thank you for spurring me on!

Fallen-Angel-Flying-Devil- Thank you, and pass on my thanks to your friend for recommending it!

Miss Becky Malfoy- Thank you! This is it, and an epilogue to come.

Stacey Pointe- Snape: 'Thank you for your touching concern Miss Pointe, but it is entirely unnecessary. Ten points from your house.' Hee he, couldn't help it! Thanks for your review.

bumblebeeday- Thank you for your review, and I strain to keep it lively. I'm envious of the authors who write much darker fics and keep Snape and other characters in sharp contrast by writing them in extremes. I prefer more subtlety myself. Except for the girl power thing. Hermione is pretty superherolike already just because of her intelligence and attitude. I tend to go overboard with other qualities, but I couldn't help but add music. I love it. I can't imagine that none of the students there have talents or hobbies (at least during the summers… swimming, track, running, singing, musical instrument, ballet, painting, archery…)

Yellow Dog Bushytail- Thank you for your review. I tried not to describe Snape's physical appearance too much because what we see and what he sees it different. I imagine is face to be pasty pale (probably in the dim light of the dungeons) but I bet he might tan well if exposed to sunlight. It's not his fault the melanin and retreated into the depths of his body. I imagine his hair is a shiny black and that it is lank from potions fumes and with running about like his does and researching, personal hygiene it's not always his first priority. (I have several sweet nerdy friends who do the same thing). I imagine he is a cruelly, withdrawn private person. He may be self-pitying. We will never know. I assume he has not learned to reached out because

A. In his childhood, people misjudged or prejudged him.

B. Others were afforded opportunities he didn't receive making him quite bitter.

C. Was rejected by peers and perhaps parents.

D. Was overlooked by adults who thought he was intelligent enough not to need assistance, or scrutinized him overly because of his dark interests.

E. Had problems dating because of school rumors and teasing, affecting self-confidence.

He decides that he doesn't need friendship because it never produced anything useful for him. That is in the extreme of course, and the friendships he does possess are amicable understandings, and exchange of information and favors… not really divulging secrets.

Thank you for your comments about the spell. I read someone's comment in another fic and they said plainly, it's hard to write a sex scene without losing the emotional component and the connection between the characters which makes it so compelling in the first place. I couldn't write a mean ending. J

Adrienne Druscilla Daae- Thank you for your reference to the Order initiation. I reads one spectacular one. For some reason I think to myself, the Order is a simple society with high obligations. No foolish wand waving is needed to make the huge commitment more wonderful. I haven't heard Bob Marley's version but I will seek it out. Listen to Annie Lennox's version. Just awesome!

cittykat0733- You should. I was desperate to read more idea about the Harry Potter series and stumbled into it. Read everything you can get your hands on. There are tons of different ships and it's exciting to think that there is still so much I haven't read. I love the SS/HG ship, but I didn't expect to. There is so much good fiction and there are lists of fic recs from fanfiction fans out there. Go to join the yahoo wikkt site if you are of age. Ashwindersycophant hex is an excellent website for SS/HG ship with shoot of sites for Remus, Slytherins, Death Eaters, SS and related info. Whispers is also a great site.

HazyDayClearNight- Thank you and I totally agree with your assessment of Lucius. He is such a sick creepy bastard. Whenever I picture his cool veneer in my head he gives me the willies. A new tale is spinning in my head. I'm not sure if I can keep a lid on the bunny or not.

Beornthryth- Thank you. I appreciate your review. I couldn't bear to not have a happy ending. I needed closure for me. J

Morianna- Thank you! Here's the last chapter, and thank you for reading. I'm happy top feed your addiction.

crissy- He's okay!!! I couldn't kill him, I love the ship to much to sink it.

Sara lily Potter- I get like that too. Thank you for submitting a review. I'm sure their might be some acceptable elements somewhere in here for a book, but I doubt J.K. would approve. Thank you for saying so. It has been reviews like yours which have encouraged me to consider writing original work. My husband encouarges me too, but it first came form all of you! You give me tremendous confidence. Criticism is welcome too.

Fanfiction Fan- Thank you! Here's the happy ending!

franflutewitch- Gaia was right there! Thank you for your feedback. I think Ron was pretty fair, and Harry pretty unfair. Ron at least spoke his mind and told Snape off for hurting her emotionally. Soon soon, maybe a new story will emerge, or even better, the plot for the sequel.

alkin- Thank you for your extremely thorough and long review. I still have to go back through and fix glaring errors and typos, and quiet and quiet, there and their etc… Ugh. Thank you for your comments about virginity. It is a shame how it is portrayed as weakness for either sex, blaming men for being gay or 'boys' and women for being less of a woman or prudes or frigid or viewing them like 'meat.'

I like Harry very much as a character, and I could definitely see myself writing some fanfic with him as a central character instead of only Hermione and Severus (gotta love the ship). And I like Luna. She's cool, and I've met people like her, so frequently underestimated and typecast. She's gonna do something cool in a future book, just you wait.

I don't think I've read that one, but I plan to. Where can I find it? Eeek, hope you weren't disappointed with the happily ever after. After all, it's really not all roses at this point. There are consequences, and Hermione is still afraid for her family. And Snape has been found out as a spy. Now Gaia did give Snape an out, but she did not defeat Voldie (How could she? Not in the prophecy).

Ahhh, there may might could possibly be a sequel, but it will take some doing before I have enough time and enough brain juice to have a sufficient plot. The Ministry job is cool and that could go places. Your feeback is welcome, and as long as you support your ideas, I would hope that any author including me should receive criticism with appreciation for all of the hard work and time spent to give that kind of feedback. Thank you.

ebonyink- And now you have your answer. Each of them have a Gaia. I now that's sounds strange, but each can be used one time only. Happy reading!

Eiseman04-Thank you for your review. Can you recommend a story summary that would be more eye-catching? It was hard to be concise. The last time you reviewed you were at Chap 20. What do you think now?

Lori- Thanks for your review, funny you should talk about making it to the library… I nearly laughed out loud reading that, already knowing what was going to happen in this chapter.

robin777- Thank you. Some of the Slytherin's out there must rock to some degree… otherwise why would we be thinking Severus is so hot? I like Pansy as uber cool with the super self-confident I-don't-give-a-fk, I do what I want attitude! Go Pansy!

jen – None from fact and its all made up. Though I'd like to think that a woman who saves herself for the right person or only one person had a lot more personal/inner strength. It takes a lot of character to do that. Having a sexual relationship too early in a relationship can really stifle or threaten true intimacy. Saving that until the right time shows real maturity (Now stop screaming y'all—that does not mean that people who have sex early are immature or don't have strong relationships… I'm not saying anything like that.) and a desire to keep that part of their lives sacred. What a gift not only for someone else but for yourself. Steps down from soapbox . I can't help it. I work in obstetrics.

Celtic Words- Oh god, it was 60? Holy crap. I just type until I'm done. That's it. I try to edit, but I have difficulty chopping. I think the fics will improve if I can be more concise and say the same thing. Thank you for your feedback. I can see how I'm improving. I'm very tempted to rewrite parts of The Burden of Sight based on my experiences here.

mjk306- Thank you, here you go!

E.A.V.- Tahnk you, hope this chapter proves to be a good close to the story!

Veeshan Dragonheart- Thank you and I love him, can't let the greasy man go.

zoltaire- Thank you for the praise. I liked posting longer chapters. I'm always so glad to read my faves and see extra long chapters that I don't want to end. That's why it was so hard to write this one. It's been a fun ride, thank you. Please exit to your right.

Rosemerta- Thank you. Even despite the loss, it was the best eight weeks of my life. We'll try again soon.

Whizbees- I thought it might take a long time but here it is! Yay! Thank you so much for following me through this. It's been so fun, and I worry about never having another plot bunny as vicious attack me and scream at me to write. Thanks.

ghzowy- Thank you! I hope you check for posts frequently, because here's the end!

Jenn- Thank you for your encouragement and feedback. And thanks for your congratulations. We still feel blessed.

fyiagcg- Boy, don't I know about sleep deprivation. Good grief I have lost sleep over fan fic reading. I have merely vowed not to stay up until 4am in the morning to do that anymore (but periodically, it still happens). Everybody talks about Bob Marley… gotta look that up. Go check out Annie Lennox. She rocks, both with Waiting in Vain and Everytime We Say Goodbye.

Coffee1- Thank you so much for your review. Sorry to take you away from your homework. And glad to hear so much positive feedback about the faith woven into the fic. I'm pretty happy with the wand scene also. I like Olivander's character. That was it's own plot bunny written a bit ago. My husband hasn't read this, but he is proud, and he can hardly believe that I wrote it all!

NightQueen- Thank you for your kind review. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. The feedback keeps me going and you all give me ideas for other fics.

kawiineko4eva- Thank you! Here's the finale.

Helena- Thank you for patiently waiting (ha!) for the happy ending—I couldn't have Severus have an easy way to the finish, though I don't think two or three weeks post NEWTS was terribly long to wait.

otakuannie- Thank you. I'm glad you think I have twists. I'll have to go back and read. After re-reading, I can't see the twists so much anymore, but it's great to hear different points of view. It's hard to imagine what it would be like to read it for the first time.

duck- No brain damage! And your sister can learn to 'share', unless of course you monopolize the computer as much as I do. Maybe she can ask for one for Christmas?

JasperPress77- Ooooh! I didn't abandon! I swear. Thank you for cheering, in spite of the nasty cliffie!

alliekiwi- Thank you, and sorry about the mom, mum thing. It's habit for me ugh, and I still have to go back and change it. I tried to change the earlier ones to mother instead of mom, but yikes still they taunt me! Back to Chapter one. J

Luna Writer- Hey Luna, I e-mailed you as soon as I got your review. Did you get the knots? I sent a list of the knotwork descriptions too. Happy Christmas. And thanks for all your help and feedback through the many chapters.

Fiona McKinnon- Thank you for your support! We were saddened by our loss. My husband wanted a girl, my father in law 'knew' it would be a boy, and I just wanted a healthy baby. We'll tyro again soon. It was easy to get pregnant, only took three months and we'll get there.

silkenroses15- Yeay! Thank you so your excited review. I get like that too about most all fics I read. They're just absorbing. Glad you like it. Here's the big finish!

wackoramaco87- Thank you for sticking by me! You have been with me practically since I posted Chapter one! It's practically done!

A Perfect Lie- Thank you for adding the story to your faves, and it's been so fun writing the angst. I wriggle in my seat when typing. Maybe that was because of improper posture when typing. Or the Earth Wind and Fire, playing on my I-tunes. Hee!

kat6528- Severus wasn't gone yet! Yay! Thanks for your review!

Tabii- Thank you, glad you had the emotional connection. ;)

heartnut- Okay heartnut. I'm dying to hear what you think now that it's over. Thanks you so much for reading through and your consistent comments and feedback. You've been a great support.

Shauna- Thank you for your feedback and glad you got so caught up!

lyress- Thank you so much for reading through the fic! You've been with me practically from the beginning! I like thinking that everything in between the girls is not all hunky dory, though I'm sure some members of the 20 will still believe all the members are on the same page. It leaves things pretty open for a sequel if I do one!

Christina- Thanks! Go South!

missingthecat- Thanks. I hope you like how the fic ended.

azulkan2- Thank you. Hoped you liked it! Thanks for following the fic so closely.

sam- Thank you. I liked moving her forward.

SimplyScribbling- Happy dance! I'm done! Thank you so much for cheering me on!

Ezmerelda- How much trouble? Hmmmm….. near death. I'm sad to leave it at this, and will likely struggle with the Epilogue. For now I'll say: Happy Christamas, It's been wonderful.

Lyn Piton- Oh no! We're done. I like the changes inside the group also. They knew in the beginning the culture beliefs and bigotry of some of the purebloods. Hard to imagine after being on the receiving end of potential violence, how they could dismiss it. Thank you fro liking my Ron. I see him as just a regular boy. He may follow his stomach and be bit juvenile, but in the books he seems so real. Lets it all hang out. Gotta love the Weasleys.

Vasquez 1987- Thanks. Viva Luxembourg! I hate to say, but I'm not sure what you were referring to. Greta hiding place? For who? Were you talking about another fic maybe? Sorry.

fanfiction fan- Thank you, hope it was worth the wait!

Min Hee- Thank you! Bad evil chemistry assignment. Reading is much more fun!

tomato- me glad you like. Thank you for reading.

kbluesmom- Thank you! I'm glad you were excited. After all the angst and excitement, I hope Chapter 25 is not a let down. I postponed posting it because it didn't 'feel right' but then, I didn't want to put it to bed.

June Williams- Sorry… no marriage proposal. It was hard enough for Severus to even have an opportunity to tell the disappearing woman that he loves her! Thank you for sticking with me and for all the feedback and corrections.

DeepWaterAngel- Nope, not yet. But I might soon. Thanks for reading.

Athena Linborn- Thank you! Your misery is now gone! Except that perhaps it's over.

strawberry22- Thank you. That one assignment could be sequel in an of itself. But I haven't figured it yet. Thank you so much for your support.

steph2bwld- Thank you so much for being there. I hoped you like the ending. I couldn't bear to keep them apart. It's too right. I don't think a happy ending is cheap, but at leats it was somewhat difficult.

SycoCallie- Eeek! Get some sleep. Thank you, and I rather like an understand Ron. I expect he will reach that point sometime in the future (though for most men I know it's in their twenties…) J Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! Hee hee… cupcakes.

Dragonmaster Kurai- All good things must come to and end. I hope you liked it. Tear… so sad to see it close.

Angie S- Thank you for your review! Hope you like the ending!

ellie- Wee! Hope you like the finale. Thank you for reading!

Kylara- Too much homework! Ugh! Hope this is another welcome distraction, even though the bar isn't that long.

saturngurl123- Thank you fro the NEWTS feedback. I like the DADA practical too. And if there is a sequel there will likely be focus on what happens to the 20 that following summer and how their parents treat them and which alliances they form. Thank you so much for you reviews and support!

Okay… EARTH WIND AND FIRE lyrics here: Can't Hide Love

You want my love and you can't deny  
You know it's true, but you try to hide  
You turn down love like it's really bad  
You can't give what you never had  
Well bless your soul, you can fool a few  
But, i know the truth and so do you

You can't hide love, you can't now  
You can't hide love, it's got ya  
Betcha you want my love, i betcha  
You can't hide feeling inside

You can't pretend there's nothing there

Girl, i look in your eyes, i see you care  
So why not stop trying to run and hide  
You won't find out, if you never try,

You can't hide love, you can't now  
You can't hide love, it's got ya  
Betcha want my love, i betcha  
You can't hide feeling inside

Love has found the time to kiss you  
Can you find the time to listen  
Life found the time to bug you  
Can you find the time for blessing.


End file.
